26 weeks pregnant already! Only 5 days to go until I start my 3rd and final trimester! I can barely catch my breath over how fast this pregnancy is whizzing by, and I am so rushed in mind and body all the time that I am sadly not getting much chance to stop and THINK about it each week and savour the pregnant weeks passing by. When I wrote the title of this post, I actually wasn't sure if I was still 26 weeks or if the past couple of days had been another week (they've been reeeeeally long days and busy ones too), so maybe I had forgotten that I'd turned 27 weeks already?! But no - definitely 26 weeks still! ;) That's the first time I've ever not been 100% tuned in to my pregnancy, week-by-week, though, which makes me feel a bit sad. I wish I could slow time down a bit and just... be able to stop my head whirling enough to take note of where I am and what's going on. Life is busier and more hectic than ever right now. Neil's old "work car" that used to be our family car back when we had just Arthur and Matthew (!) finally bit the dust and we can't afford to replace it, so he is getting to work via public transport. This instantly turns his commute into 2 hours on the way to work, and at least 2 hours (sometimes 3, ugh!) on the way home, which in turn makes my day actually painfully long. Don't get me wrong, I still LOVE my job, and wouldn't have it any other way! But 13 hours alone raising 6 small children and incubating another is really really really hard work. I'm also supposed to be homeschooling and coping with very impossible autistic and crazy ADHD type behaviour, but I am currently doing a really bad job at those two things along with the rest of it. Some of the boys are not awake when Neil leaves for work (but enough of them always are, that I have to be up early too), and then I can't (actually can't) do bedtime on my own so they are tired and cranky and hyper and late for bed every evening, because of waiting for Neil to get home. They should be sleeping by the time he gets home, but I can't get Elijah to sleep at the moment (Neil walks with him and he is out like a light in minutes, but he won't breastfeed to sleep right now), and the other boys' bedtime on a good night takes 60-90 minutes all told. If Elijah is awake during any of that time, he is SCREAMING, and I do mean that literally! Sometimes I've tried to do it, but it has been so awful, and 2 hours of working at it still ended up with Neil finally arriving home (like the night the buses were dreadful and he took over 3 hours getting home) and the kids are still up, and Elijah has been so distraught that he's still sleep-sobbing an HOUR after going to sleep in Neil's arms (which of course only took seconds).
Anyway, it's too much, and I can't manage it, but hopefully it's temporary. I don't know why it would be (house move? somehow another car?) but that's what I'm clinging to in order to stay vaguely sane. I am doing the best I can, and some days are better than others, but it's just too much to manage day after day. I don't know how single mothers manage, but on the other hand, I might not be a single mother in general, but there is something to be said for the sheer number of children I have, at the ages they are, with the specific issues some of them have...
I am not sleeping well. My RLS (restless leg syndrome) is at its worst again - I have it always, pregnant or not, but it's particularly bad during the latter part of pregnancy for me. This time I am taking liquid magnesium but it's not apparently making any difference. Or to the cramps in the sides of my lower legs, above the ankle. I am waking with those a lot at night, and I always need a wee in the night now too. I have trouble getting to sleep for an hour or so most nights, and once I wake for any reason, the RLS kicks in ('scuse the pun!) instantly. I also have the worst hayfever I've ever had, this year, since March. Thankfully it doesn't wake me, but it starts within about 2 minutes of being awake, with a vengeance, sneezing and itching and prickling and streaming. Unless I fall asleep pinching my nose HARD, I can't get back to sleep because of it! I have learned to prop my hand against the pillow in a certain way so I can maintain a hard pinch with finger and thumb on my nose, lol! It sounds crazy but it's the only thing that lets the itching and sneezing ease off enough for me to drop off again after a while. Elijah has been sleeping very badly this past week, I'm not sure why. I've learned that his sleep cycle is currently 50 minutes long, almost to the exact minute (I check the clock). Some nights he has woken every single 50 minutes, all night long, and needed resettling each time, or feeding. Most nights, though, he's done a few night wakings (which he always has done) and had a breastfeed to settle him back off, but woken between 2.30 and 3.15 somewhere, and then fussed and sat up and screeched and so on for 90 minutes or so before finally going back to sleep. I can't even describe in words how exhausted I am right now. And yet it's late, and here I am updating my blog. I am tired of never getting life "recorded" for prosperity here, to look back on. And I only got chance to eat dinner somewhere after 10pm tonight (that's happening too often lately as well), so I needed to stay up to digest for a while before going to bed anyway. I am having a lot more trouble with reflux this week - maybe the late dinners or stress are connected? So anyway, I try to stay up a bit longer to combat that. Vicious cycle? Hmmm.
Tomorrow Neil has to be out the door at 6.50am and he has a work function straight after work, so he won't be home until after midnight. Being Friday, I am already toast for the week, so I am DREADING it. Especially the impossible bedtime. And just surviving. Never mind the heatwave added to the mix - I'm actually tolerating the heat uncharacteristically well! :) Maybe I'm just too pressed in too many other areas to be able to give it enough focus?! I cannot WAIT for Saturday, because then Friday will be done.
What a negative post so far. I didn't mean to moan, just to honestly describe life at the moment. That's just a basic summary really.
Pregnancy-wise, Lydia is kicking around a lot, and her kicks are getting bigger and bigger all the time! I just cannot WAIT to meet her and hold her in my arms! I am so relieved to be into the "viable" stage, but I am still nervous when I do too much and have a ton of Braxton Hicks that hurt a bit, or lose what looks for all the world like mucus plug (have had a lot of that in the past couple of weeks, and almost asked Heather about the mucus plug at one point, but decided she would just tell me to go and get checked out by the midwife and I didn't have time or energy to do that, so I didn't mention it in the end!). 26 weeks is great, but still way too early for my baby girl to be arriving! I need her NOT to come too long after my actual due date (although I know for me, it's a possibility that she will anyway), because Heather's commitments mean that she is unavailable to me in any way, shape, or form, from when I am 40 weeks and 6 days onwards. :( Please please please be a due date baby, little one! The stress will be much greater as the time approaches this time around, because of Heather's plans.
My bump is growing fast, and the boys are loving it! I am getting crazy comments like, "Are there triplets in there?!" and round wide eyes when I answer that I'm due in October, etc. Apparently I'm big, but I don't actually think I am, certainly not for me anyway. I MUST take another belly pic - I've missed 24 weeks which I'm annoyed about, and STILL haven't taken one at 26 weeks! I don't seem to see Neil much at the moment, and when he's home (like right now), he is working on his work laptop (like he is right now) because he has a lot on at work. So he isn't taking my picture, and I don't have time to set the camera up and take one myself. :(
Last week (25 weeks) I weighed myself randomly, and I was 10 stone and 9lbs. That's really just a note for myself, so I don't forget, because I have no idea how that relates in any way, lol! I can't remember my starting weight, nor do I have time to look it up or figure out how many lbs I've gained so far. But here, at least I've made note of my weight, so that in 20 years when life has slowed down, I can sit down and work it out! ;) It's just for stats anyway, I do not care how much I gain. I am pregnant, I gain weight. End of. How much is just like how long a piece of string is. The string all gets cut to the same length after a certain amount of months anyway, so it doesn't matter how long it gets to.
Okay, I'm sure there's TONS more to say, but my brain is fried and I have to get some sleep. Sorry it's not the "best" of entries. I am happy!!! I love being pregnant and the joys that come with the demands of parenting lots of little ones with their own unique challenges! It's hard, but I'm blessed, and I know it. That's all it boils down to really, even when I complain - which I hope I don't do too often! :) Hopefully I'll do a more normal update soon.
