24 weeks, 3 days - belly pictures again!

Yay, yay, yaaaay, 24 WEEKS!!!! I'm so excited to be 24 weeks pregnant! My little tiny man is now viable - he stands a chance of survival if he is born NOW, and that chance goes up week by week :) I love 24 weeks!

I feel great! I get tired and breathless quickly, but my energy is really good overall. I am doing lots of housework and seemingly dashing about the house all day long running the house and meeting the children's needs, and not finding it overwhelming. I hope I manage in the 3rd trimester when I get huge and don't feel so energetic! I have to take things in small bursts to keep up the way I'm doing things, but that happens to be the way it goes with lots of small children anyway. You do one task and then have to stop to do something completely different. Then you go back to what you were doing, and then stop to do something else. Then it's nap or lunch time so the pace has to change again, and so on. This suits pregnancy VERY well! ;) Today (Saturday) Neil took the boys out into town to buy new shoes for them, and Nathan napped for 2 straight hours!! While he did that I had a much longer opportunity to really work on housework and such, and I found that I burnt out before that time was up. I felt queasy and breathless and exhausted, and lay in a sweating heap on the sofa hoping I would feel better soon! I did, but I learnt that I don't need to go overdoing it, even though my energy levels seem good right now. The pace I have during the week with the boys is working well, and I shouldn't strive beyond that. Also, I need to be careful to watch for my body slowing down over the coming weeks and months, and be okay with having to drop the pace again as that happens.

Neil took my 24 week belly picture tonight (24 weeks and 3 days, oops!), and I wanted the boys in the photo too, since it was nearly their bedtime and the opportunity was there to take a photo with them in it! I so rarely get photos of me with all my little ones (or any photos of me with any of my little ones, usually!), so I'm really happy to have these! I only put one of them in the belly gallery - the one where I'm less slumped. It's hard to stand totally straight for the photo when I'm also holding Nathan, and I'm facing the opposite way to my usual belly pictures. Also, I'm wearing my denim maternity pinafore dress!!! I am loving dresses and more feminine maternity wear this pregnancy, and have used birthday money to buy a few more of these kind of items from eBay! So exciting! Anyway, I feel so happy in this dress whenever I wear it. Here are the two photos Neil took tonight:

Arthur and Matthew were monkeying around! They were a bit of a nightmare to settle for bed after that! ;) Nathan was not so thrilled about the mini photo-shoot by the second photo. We're laughing because Neil, in desperation, made the silliest face and a rather rude noise with it! ;)

I had my 24 week appointment with my GP on Wednesday, the day I turned 24 weeks. It went great! Everything is normal and healthy, very run-of-the-mill. I told her that this feels like my most straight-forward pregnancy so far, and it really does. They are all pretty straight-forward, thankfully, apart from the bleeeeding I seem to do in the first trimester. But this one is going smoothly and I'm so thankful! I hope it continues that way!

My blood pressure was 116/70, very normal and healthy. She said my urine was perfect, no trace of sugar or protein. No swelling anywhere, except this thing going on with my midriff, hehe! ;)

I took all the boys with me as Neil was working, of course, and it went fine. They were a bit of a handful on the way out after the appointment, but otherwise well behaved. Nathan is having a super duper stranger-anxiety phase all of a sudden. He cries at the sight of anyone he doesn't know at the moment!! It's not really how he is in general, so I guess it's just a phase and it will pass. Anyway he was like a little limpet at the doctor's, and I held him while everything was done, including lying on top of my chest while I lay on the examination table for the doctor to feel my tummy and listen to the baby's heartbeat! Arthur stood on the step-stool next to the table so he could be involved too, and Matthew stood nearby, but he was interested in the toys on the floor. They all liked hearing the baby's heartbeat, which was healthy and strong. It took the doctor a while to find it, but I could have told her where to put the doppler right away, as I could feel where his back was pressing against me (and thus where she'd find his heartbeat). She looked everywhere but there first, hehe!

She felt my tummy for a while, and said the baby is transverse! I don't think I've had that told to me many times over my pregnancies, if at all! My womb will be getting kind of stretchy with me having had several pregnancies now, all close together, and there is more chance for the baby to get into any old position, even later on. I am not too thrilled about the possibility that he could be transverse or breech right near the end of my pregnancy! I don't want a caesarean!

He's a real wiggler lately. That evening, after the boys were in bed, I lay on the sofa and checked for myself. Sure enough, a very hard round HEAD in my right side! His back was up towards my ribs and he was happily flailing all his limbs down at my bladder and cervix. He can really kick so much harder these days! The next day I noticed a lot of STOMPING on my cervix, and lay down to check his position again. Hard round head right up the top under my stomach! So he was breech that day. He has moved around so much these last few days, changing position a lot. The only position I haven't been aware of him in over that time is cephalic (head down)!

I just put the laptop down and lay down to check his position again, and he's transverse. His head is back in my right side, but his back is towards mine right now. There's absolutely NOTHING down in my pelvis! That feels a bit disconcerting! He is not too pleased with me right now and was poking my hands in a really jabby way with his own hands, hehe! His limbs are facing my tummy and slightly up towards my ribs. It's so weird, in that I've never really had a baby do this before, even for a quick while one day. I really really really hope he is not going to stay in this position, or tend to favour it! I hope he'll get happy being head-down very soon and stay there! I know there's plenty of time yet, blah blah blah. I'd just prefer it if he wasn't so very happy lying across me in a way that will NOT help him get out when it's time!!

Anyway so my next antenatal appointment is 28 weeks with my midwife team. They'll phone me to arrange that, I THINK. If they haven't in a couple of weeks, I will probably phone them to be sure.

This pregnancy is soooo zipping by!

Neil likes the idea of a 'J' name for this baby, but he can't think of the perfect one. I've been back to the baby books and databases to search the 'J's but haven't found anything I really love yet. I'd be happy to use a J name if I found one I loved enough, and which went with the other boys' names. Personally, I still just have Benjamin and Noah as my complete shortlist, and can't find anything else that comes near to them. If I'm honest, they're the only names I want to choose from. I am not sure what we'll do about this by July! But we've got time, so we'll see how we go.

I keep forgetting to say things here, and try to remember to list them in my head for the next time I update my diary, but they fall out of my head so easily!!

So, FINALLY, to catch up!

* From 16/17 weeks onwards I have the worst skin I've had since my teens! I never really did have any teenage skin trouble actually, just the odd few spots around my period and that's it. I think last pregnancy my skin was breaking out a little more at times than I'd noticed with the first two pregnancies. This time, around 16 or so weeks, my skin was breaking out with several new spots on my face every couple of days, which I have NEVER had before even in my teens or other pregnancies. It has also continued for 6 or 7 weeks without stopping, and just now I'm noticing a slowing-down in the number and frequency of spots I'm finding on my face. They're only on my face though, and really it's not a big problem - it's not AWFUL skin or anything, just very outside of my norm and I meant to note it here long ago but kept forgetting!

* I weighed myself at exactly 20 weeks and I was 9 stone 9lbs. I couldn't remember what I weighed at the start of my pregnancy so I kept meaning to look that up before posting about my 20-week weight here, but never got round to it (hence no update on the weight!). I STILL don't know what I weighed pre-pregnancy this time! I will stop this and look it up RIGHT NOW! :)

Okay I checked my diary and I was weighed at the doctor's when I went to tell her I was pregnant (4 weeks I think). I was 9 stone 2lbs, BUT I don't think that's very accurate necessarily, because I was fully clothed (and shoed!), and they're not the scales I normally weigh myself on at home. So it could be out by a few lbs or something, either way. Anyway, I think that's all I have to go by, so let's say it's accurate for argument's sake! So at 20 weeks that would make my weight gain 7lbs (ish). I weighed myself with all my other pregnancies at 20 weeks for comparison. I weigh the most this time to start with, which is true of every pregnancy, hmmm!

Last pregnancy at 20 weeks I weighed 9 stone 2lbs! I had gained 11lbs with Nathan, 9.5lbs with Matthew, and 10lbs with Arthur. Very similar. So that makes me think that my clothes and shoes and the different scales probably had my starting weight a good few lbs higher than what I actually weighed. I'm guessing I weighed just under 9 stone at the start of my pregnancy, and had probably gained about 10lbs at 20 weeks.

Sooo I have weighed myself again for 24 weeks - the scales said 10 stone 4lbs! Yipes! NOT that I stress about weight-gain during pregnancy, as you probably know if you've read me through any of my other pregnancies - it's a HUGE peeve of mine how so many people obsess about weight-gain during pregnancy! Gah!

Anyway, I'm guessing my total gain at 24 weeks is roughly 18lbs. I checked my diary (LOVE this place!!) and I had weighed myself at 23 weeks and 3 days with Nathan, and had gained 17lbs. I gained 18lbs with Arthur and 14lbs with Matthew at that stage, so I'm right on track for my pregnancies! :) I always gain about 55lbs total, but I am guessing I didn't last time, because Nathan came 5 weeks early (SIX weeks earlier than Matthew did!) so I wouldn't have packed on those last lbs with him. I never feel good with all that weight on at the end, but it comes off with breastfeeding, and I know it has an important purpose - laying down fat stores to fuel breastmilk supply. I don't mind it. I just wish I didn't feel so HEAVY around my due date, and postpartum.

* I am producing colostrum, and have been for some weeks. I just checked around 21 weeks and found that I could express a little golden-white milk. White because I'm still breastfeeding, but the golden element is the colostrum :) Lately when I hand express a little to see (I really have next to nothing left in there, though Matthew always denies this and tells me it's tasty, hehe!), it's either completely clear/golden or cloudy and yellowish white, so totally colostrum now, yay! I love making colostrum! I always get excited about it, as it means my body is getting ready to nurse the NEXT baby, and that's so exciting!!! I'm still nursing Nathan and Matthew as before - Matthew at bedtime and if he ever gets badly hurt or something. Nathan nurses on demand, which is not that much now. He nurses for naps and bedtime. I haven't fully night-weaned him yet and he's nursing in the last 2 or 3 hours of the night. I settle him by patting or holding him if he wakes before then (which he DOES). Thanks Jemma for the reminder about The No-Cry Sleep Solution! I forgot I had it! It soooo didn't work for Arthur and we didn't pay it any attention with Matthew, since he was easier to transition (and we were turned off it because it didn't work with Arthur), but I've been reading it again this past week. We're trying a couple of things out from the book, but right now we're not seeing any improvement as such. We'll keep at it for now.

My pubic bone still tends to be sore, but I have noticed that it's improving a bit this week. I think it's adjusting, like I had hoped/expected it might, for a while. OR it's not that stressed right now due to a baby that's up across my tummy and not leaning on my pubic bone! ;)

I'm finding it much harder to lean right down over my bump for something now. I'm also getting the usual heartburn, nothing too bad. Baby boy isn't getting many bouts of hiccups this week so far. He was very quiet for a couple of days and I was getting anxious about it. At the same time my appetite was soooo small and I just felt sluggish and yucky. Then everything went back to normal, and I remembered that's how I feel when the baby is having a growth spurt (or is it just before/after it? I can't remember exactly). He goes all quiet and I feel like a slug! I'm always glad when he's wiggly again and I'm hungry and feeling better!

Well, I can't think of much else I wanted to say this week, so I'll finish this now. Thank you so much for the encouraging guestbook messages! Polly, thanks for the ideas you keep giving me! I follow up on each of them (have watched the BBCi thingy - may blog about that at my other blog soon! And have signed Arthur up with the road safety thing) - thank you so much! Thanks also to Kaitlyn for the notes - I honestly plan to respond to those at my other blog, but seem to always forget!! :S I love getting messages - thank you!!

Oh! I almost forgot - Babycenter.com says that Babydot is now 30cm long! And weighs approximately 1lb 5oz! So amazing. I told Arthur today that the baby's foot is about the length of his big toe (he has long toes!) and he kept looking at his toe with his mouth open in awe :) The baby bumped Nathan with his hands this week while Nathan was draped over my tummy (he likes this position!), but I don't think Nathan noticed. I've also noticed/remembered that a pregnant bump seems to be a perfect natural shape for a toddler to nurse around. Nathan can flop on my front and nurse without being flat as a pancake any more! He nestles cosily over the curve of my bump, or sits at my side cuddling up to it with my arm cuddling him. Nursing during pregnancy is such a precious experience, and I LOVE it completely. Except it can be sore sometimes! But I love it :)

I have also noticed/been reminded that a pregnant bump feels so perfect to sit a toddler on for cuddles! I loved it when my bump arrived more obviously, because it felt so natural to have a 1-year-old straddled across it against my front for cuddles, or to walk him around if he was teething or unhappy. It's such a useful shelf, hehe! It feels so snug and like it's made for snuggling a little one on top! I love it. LOVE being pregnant and having little ones close together. I would not change it for the world, and would do exactly the same if I had to go back and choose again. It's hard work, though I find that I'm adjusting a lot this year. And it's SO worthwhile, and full of such joy and blessings!

23 weeks pregnant (long!)

So incredibly behind here!!! Aaargh!

Well, I missed updating at 22 weeks (23 weeks today, woweee!) but I DID get a belly photo at exactly 22 weeks, yay! So it's finally up in the belly gallery. I was TIRED that evening and thus don't look very fun or smiley, but oh well! I really wanted to crop that one and put just my belly in the picture! But the bump actually looks different with the perspective of the rest of me there too, and that's how I always take belly pictures from 20 weeks onwards so I have stuck to that. I will try to smile more next time! ;)

Since then I think my bump has had a growth spurt, and Neil thinks so too. A few nights ago I pulled up my top and lay down on the sofa to see if I could feel the baby having hiccups (yes, first hiccups for SURE this week! And second. And third!), and Neil said, "Woah!" I think his choice of words could improve somewhat, but anyway! ;) That same night when I got ready for bed, I could not believe how big my bump was all of a sudden, or at least it seemed very sudden. So much bigger than a couple of nights before. Neil says it's come out more as well as seeming rounder.

The top of my uterus is now clearly felt about an inch above my tummy button, and I LOVE this stage onwards, because my tummy button is permanently flat since Matthew's pregnancy (it was semi-flat after Arthur and didn't have time to fully pop back in - I've never had an outie though), and when I'm pregnant my skin/flesh there seems ever so thin for about an inch all around it. It makes a wonderful "window" to feel the baby way more clearly once my uterus has grown past it and the baby is thus behind it some or lots of the time! I can feel a limb or the end of one really clearly through there, but not at all clearly a couple of inches across. Should I be worried about this?!! Hmmm... Anyway, it's so nice. I have already been able to feel this little one's leg and bottom on a couple of occasions. It turns my heart to mush when the limb moves against my fingers because it's soooo clear, and I feel so close to my tiny boy!

He still has no name! But I wonder if that's how it will stay till the birth, or shortly before? It's starting to feel that way now, and I'm fine with it. Except that Neil keeps suggesting names, and I really feel like I have no others to consider except for Benjamin and Noah. He still doesn't think the same way. He has suggested the name Jesse twice this week! It was on my shortlist during my first pregnancy, but Neil vetoed it so strongly that I didn't bother thinking of it for the next two pregnancies. Now he's actually suggesting it, I'm not sure about it any more! I'm not sure it goes well enough with our other children's names anyway. But he's still talking about it, so we'll see.

The other thing I'm a bit nervous about is that we'll wait till after the baby is born, and then we NEED to name him! And so we'll agree on a name, start to use it, and THEN Neil will say, "Oh actually, I'm not so sure now...." which he does a lot during the name-choosing stage in pregnancy usually. It's fine to do that during pregnancy because we've got time to settle on it before the baby is born, but doing that after he's here and we're calling him by it and bonding with him with that name... It would bug me EXTREMELY to have Neil question or want to change that name once I've been staring into my newborn's eyes over that first sleepless night after birth and whispering his name to him, totally bonding with him, name and all! I'm a bit nervous that it will happen that way, so to prevent it, it would be good if we could definitely name him before he's born. But I don't know about this baby, whether he is one who actually needs to be SEEN to be named! Anyway, right now I am not concerned about the no-name thing :)

Matthew felt him kick a couple of day ago! The baby had hiccups and I told Arthur about it. Arthur came running (as usual!) and lay his face on my bump, waiting. He felt a little hiccup and rushed off again in excitement, too much energy at that time to hang about waiting for more! Matthew came over for his turn, which he hasn't done before, and copied Arthur, carefully laying his sweet little cheek down on my bare tummy and waiting. He got a gentle kick to his cheek straight away! It was gentle, so I wasn't sure if he'd have felt it properly or realised it was the baby kicking. I asked him if he felt it, and he lifted his head and said yes. He lay his cheek back down and got another little kick there. This time he lifted his head and STARED at my tummy really hard from a few inches away! I couldn't interpret his expression, because I haven't really seen it before. I asked him if he felt another kick, and he said no, but I know he did because of the way he stopped and looked at my tummy like that. Maybe he registered at last that there really IS a baby in there and he's not as keen on the idea as we'd hoped? I hope that's not the reason! But it might be, I guess. We'll have to see how it goes for him over the next few months. He SEEMS happy and settled about things, so far, but he hasn't paid much attention to the idea yet.

I'm feeling pretty good at the moment, which is nice! I am really tired out in the evenings and have had a couple of earlier nights this week as a result. I'm usually up way too late, so it is good to get to bed earlier for a change! Nathan still wakes CRAZILY at night so I'm exhausted from that, although pretty accustomed to it by now I should think. His longest stretch is 3 hours ish, but after 1am or so, he is waking 1-2 hourly, or sometimes more frequently than every hour, I kid you not. It's starting to drive me nuts. Every time I get to the end of my tether about it, he suddenly improves a little and so I don't do much about it. I really MUST! But I don't really know what exactly.

We are about to buy bunk beds for the two older boys. They're a little young for bunk beds, but we're getting a lowish set that's really sturdy, and will not necessarily use the top bunk for a while yet. We'll see. They can be used as two singles if need be, though I'm not sure where we'll put them if that's how it pans out! All 3 boys will share the little bedroom. I've started to think this out a bit recently. Nathan is 14 months old tomorrow! I'm not sure how that has happened, but anyway! The baby is due just before he turns 18 months old, so less than 4 months from now (yikes!). So, ideally I would like him to be installed in the bedroom with the boys around 16 months old.

This has made me realise two things. One, I only have two months in which to sleep train him (he can't continue the wakings in there - even if he miraculously doesn't disturb the others each time, I do NOT want to trudge to another room 5+ times a night to settle him!) and get him moved in. So, I really must start whatever gruesome method of sleep training we go with NOW-ish. I don't want to do anything cry-it-outey, but he cries unless I pat/nurse him, and weaning him gradually off the breast at night has meant he's increased his demand for being patted (endlessly, like 20 minutes at a time or more, aaargh!) to settle him. Otherwise, he SCREAMS and sobs, and does not stop for a good 40 minutes. No fun several times a night when all is still and quiet and I'm totally wiped out! So I don't know what to do, but I have to do something in the next 2 months. Which isn't as long as it seems!

Okay, two - at 16 months, he isn't going to be old enough to transfer him directly into Matthew's toddler bed. I had planned on doing that, but he's going to be too little. I think Matthew was 20 months old when we turned his cotbed into a toddler bed, and he did fine, though he fell out all the time. Nathan seems sooooo little, even though he'll only be a few months younger. Twenty months seems way more ready for something like that than 16 months. So now we're thinking we must get the sides and ends down from the loft that make Matthew's toddler bed back into the cotbed, and put Nathan in that. BUT, it's Matthew's bed. He's never slept anywhere else from birth, and he loves his beddy. I am hoping he'll move happily into the new bunk bed, but if he doesn't we were hoping to allow him to just have longer in the toddler bed or something. Oh for more space!!! We need to move house really, but we CAN manage here if we have to, it's just a case of juggling things a bit!

Anyway. The new baby is meant to go in Nathan's cot, but will Nathey feel attached to it and not want to be anywhere different? Also, Matthew chewed enormous chunks of wood out of his cot ends (not the protected side bars!), and it's damaged enough so that we can't just put another child in it without fixing it first or something. I'm not sure how to go about that, because it's fiddly and there are lots of raw splinters. Also whatever we fix it with needs to be safe for another toddler to potentially chomp on, and I am not sure about finding something child-friendly to fill and seal the holes with! So, we had planned never to use it as a cotbed again, just a toddler bed (which is one of the reasons we bought a new cot for Nathan). Hmmm. I have to figure it out and implement it all, and sleep train that baby boy, in the next 8 weeks! Somehow.

What else can I say? Oh! There are only 7 days till I'm 24 weeks pregnant, and thus Tiny Boy will be viable!!! Yay! I always breathe a big sigh of relief at the 24 week milestone, although I know it would be BAD BAD news if he DID come at that time. At least then they would try to save his life instead of saying, "Oh, I'm so sorry..." if it happened a few days before that time! It makes me shudder to think about that. I seem to be more nervous this time about randomly breaking waters, than I ever was in my previous pregnancies. I'm sure that's due to my experience last pregnancy with my waters breaking for no apparent reason 5 weeks early. No sign of labour or anything, just - pop! Not even pop. Just wet bed at 6am really. I'm so nervous because surely if it could happen then, it could theoretically happen at ANY time with any other pregnancy? I get anxious now that he's kicking me WAY more strongly these last few days. With a ton of hefty kicks, and even one that hurt today for the first time, I keep thinking he's surely going to kick my bag of waters apart! I know that's not how nature works and that bag is built to withstand such stresses without any problem. But then it still nags in my mind that my tough built-to-withstand-stresses bag of waters broke last time long before it was meant to - something must have caused it! So I can't sit too easily about it this time, especially right now, JUST before the baby is able to survive if it happened. I know it's highly unlikely and I'll most likely be doing my nut at 41 weeks in a heatwave AGAIN like when I was waiting for Matthew! ;) But yeah.

Aaaargh, I've just realised I haven't made my antenatal appointment with my GP for 24 weeks! I must do that tomorrow! I have to see the GP for the 24 week appt, but I'm glad about it. I like seeing my midwife team, but I LOVE my GP and like that she's involved a little, so I'm looking forward to seeing her.

I had my VERY FIRST classic "large family" line from a Parcel Force delivery man the other day! I opened the door to receive a package from him (new (well, second-hand at eBay!) curtains and duvet covers for the boys' room with CARS on - they're so excited about them!), and as I signed for the package, the porch door opened and all three of my sweet little ones came walking/toddling into the porch in a little bunch, with curious expressions, wanting to see who was at the door. The delivery man said, "Are they all yours?!" and I felt so happy to hear that one, because it's a classic and I haven't qualified to hear it yet, apparently, hehe! I LOVE that I have enough little lovelies for someone to ask me if they're ALL mine! :D I said, "Yes, they're all mine!" and he said, "And another on the way as well?!" and I answered, "Yes, another one's coming." and smiled, because I couldn't help myself. He looked at the boys and said, "Your mum's a glutton for punishment, isn't she?!" *sigh* Thankfully I don't think they understand that term yet. But I am determined to always come across positive about having lots of little ones, especially in front of the childen, but in any case because I want people to know that it ISN'T a "cross to bear" (can you believe that one?!) or a punishment of some sort! Children are a blessing from God, a REWARD, says the Bible! And I heartily agree with that, more and more since I realised I needed to let God be in control of this area. So, I feel more positive, and I want to pass that on to (apparently) the entire world who think the opposite! Tsk! So, I just smiled and said, "They certainly keep me busy, but I love it!" And he smiled and asked Matthew if he was a good boy. Matthew said, "Um, yes!" and he said that was alright then, and went back to his delivery van with a wave and smile :)

I am having a lot more pubic bone pain this last week, and it's bothersome to some degree most of the time. At night time too, but not so bad. It hurts when I walk, and especially when I scissor my legs to go over kiddie safety gates! Today, Jemma and Jove came to visit for a good part of the day, and we all had a lovely time together! Jemma and I were pregnant together with Jaya and Arthur, but we didn't know each other then, till after Jaya was born (3 months before Arthur). And we were pregnant again together with Jove and Matthew, who are 3 months apart too. I think the last time we really visited with them properly was when Jove was on the way (Matthew not quite yet!), so it's been ages! It was so nice. Except (in huge contrast to the previous paragraph, haha!), as they left, I was holding Nathan on my hip (he was super clingy and cried most of the time, I think because he wasn't used to the two visitors in our home or something like that!) and Matthew and Arthur went out of the front door after I asked them to stay inside to watch Jemma and Jove off. Arthur at least stopped on the driveway when I called him to, but Matthew took off INTO THE ROAD giggling. Ugggggggghhhh! We live in a quiet cul-de-sac where cars don't often drive, but still. I was walking out after him with Nathan on my hip until I saw that he was about to make a run for it and probably not turn back, at which point I just had to RUN after him, across the road. He ran even with me running after him, and I caught up with him after a short while and walk him back to the house after a stern word. We watched Jemma and Jove go, but he had some DRAWN OUT discipline after that! ;) I need to do "something" about this! It's not safe that he does it and won't obey me! But I seem to be clueless about pretty much everything lately :(

Anyway, it did NOT feel sensible to be trying to sprint (not that I got too near to actually sprinting in my condition, haha!) with a baby bump AND a toddler sitting on it, bumping away like crazy because I was jogging along without supporting him too well! I think he ended up under my arm by the time I got to Matthew, or something. On the walk back to the house, the baby in my tummy had woken up all of a sudden and was kicking me in the most agitated way. It made me feel uneasy. My whole body felt like that had NOT been a good thing to do, and I'm having a lot more pubic bone pain since then. It's been really sore getting up from lying on my side to settle little ones into bed for the night.

Also this evening I lost my temper with Arthur (long story, feeling too bad about it to enlarge upon it, urgh) and yelled at him and just felt so BRISTLY with anger and irritation and yeurghsomeness. Nathan had a bad fall from the windowsill after climbing up there while I was disciplining Arthur for being horribly rude to me (at a LOSS tonight with those boys, honestly), and has bruised up his eye and the side of his head :( I felt so bad! I lost my temper with Arthur around the same time, and did way too much shouting and feeling angry. And after that the baby was kicking and punching about so hard, and wouldn't stop for a long time. Quite out of character really. Neil got home from work later than usual tonight, and when he did, the boys were nearly finished eating dinner. I asked for a time-out upstairs while he finished dinner, and just went and lay down. I read the Bible (the bit about the fruits of the Spirit, ugggghhh, I so need self-control. And gentleness. And patience! And peace. And kindness. Well, all of them really!) and prayed for a long while about those things in me (or the lack thereof lately). I tried to rest and calm down, but the whole time, the baby was WALLOPING my insides. He seemed to be kick-boxing my tummy low down, and stamping on my bladder and cervix for good measure. He seemed as angry and agitated as I felt, and I just felt so AWFUL about that, because - poor little tiny! He's only half-finished inside my tummy and yet he has already endured the DUMPAGE of my unnecessary emotions, and the physical side-effects of that. I got worried about how agitated he seemed after a while, because he just wasn't stopping or calming down. I feel like that was bad for him, and I caused it.

He calmed down a lot when I brought Nathan up and nursed him in my bed at bedtime - Neil was wonderous and got the boys ready for bed while I tried to calm down upstairs. I didn't feel angry any more upstairs, just upset and "rattled". I just wanted to cry and cry before Neil got home, with the situation as it was, but that isn't going to help the kids or me at that time, so I didn't!

Baby boy has stayed really kicky this evening, but much calmer and not so constant. His kicks are so much stronger than they even were a few days ago! I'm surprised by it! I think he must be breech at the moment, given the stomps on my cervix this evening! ;)

Well, I've written for EVER and now it's time I went to bed. I feel so tired out and I really want a GALLON of water to drink. I'm peeing more these days, and not making it quite through the night without having to go to the loo, so I guess there's more pressure from the beany one! I am also a lot more achy and heavy feeling in my pelvis and the front of my bump low down, which is uncomfy a lot but I should adjust soon (I hope!). Also I have had some evening nausea for a few nights lately, and sometimes queasiness in the day, but it seems different to morning sickness. It seems like my bump has risen quite quickly, and once it's above the tummy button, any quick rises lead to a "re-shuffle" inside and some pressure on my stomach that I'm not accustomed to. So I presume that's why the nausea. It should clear up soon. I had a bad headache yesterday but thankfully it was a one-day thing, and not longer! It laughed in the face of painkillers, so I was glad it had gone by this morning!

Okay, back another time - 24 weeks probably! Yay! Belly picture will be due again and I should have an antenatal appt to write about too :)