31 weeks!

TERRIBLY long gap there, sorry! I am too tired to do much justice to a proper entry tonight, and my legs are jumping all over the place (RLS) and very uncomfortable, but I must just say SOMETHING so that I have made a blog post at last!

I am behind with my belly pics! The weeks are going too fast and the last time I looked up, I was 28 weeks (seriously!). I set my camera to take a 28 week belly picture of me with the boys all around me, because I did that last time with Elijah's pregnancy and it turned out to be a sweet thing to do! :) So here is my 28 week belly picture - I will post Elijah's for comparison below it:

Here's my 28 week belly picture from Elijah's pregnancy - I was surprised to see how much less my bump stuck out last time, than this time! Mind you, Elijah WAS small for dates. And I'm carrying just as low as ever with this baby girl, so that's that old wives' tale out of the window then! ;)

I don't think I am any different at ALL in terms of the pregnancy, how I'm carrying, etc. Nothing much is different, it's just "pregnancy" as usual. I have craved (bizarrely) classical music this time - I wish I could describe that better, but it's just that. I HAVE to listen to it. Not always, but I get times where the urge is overpowering like a pregnancy food craving (which is a STRONG pull). Sweet foods also, are a big thing right now, but then I think that's pretty normal for me at this stage of pregnancy anyway.

I expected to maybe carry higher, or a different shape, or put weight on differently (so many people have been telling me these things over the years), but really none of the above has been true for me at all. I'm carrying low (super low, sometimes), round like a ball on my front, and with no particular difference in weight gain. At 27 weeks I weighed myself and I was 11st 2lbs I think (I can't remember the exact lbs now). I haven't worked it out, because I am fairly disinterested in weight gain during pregnancy (You're pregnant. You gain weight. You give birth. You lose weight. Time scale matters not. End of!) and can't remember my starting weight exactly (9st 5lbs? 9st 7lbs? Not sure). In previous pregnancies at this stage of my 3rd trimester, I have usually gained a lb per week of pregnancy, so if my lower estimate was correct for my starting weight, then I had gained 25lbs at 27 weeks (or 23lbs if not), which is a little less than usual maybe? But I always end up gaining more than a lb per week from around the middle of my 3rd trimester onwards - sometimes several! :S

Anyway, it's all the same really, and that's quite nice! I have spent all these years and pregnancies slightly apprehensive about "what might happen" to my body should I ever be carrying a baby girl! ;) It's, well, just.... a baby really, as far as my body is concerned! ;)

In the last week or so, I have started to really feel more big and pregnant than before. I feel uncomfy quite a bit of the time now, but still able to enjoy being pregnant! I love it! :) I have restless legs like crazy at night which disturb my sleep quite a bit. Not as bad as last time yet, but bad enough. I have tried the liquid magnesium (run out now) and didn't notice any difference, unfortunately. I haven't had much trouble with leg/foot cramps for a while, so I will try going back on the magnesium if that starts up again.

I feel very big around the tummy! ;) I can't bend down to get things while sitting, or I get a horrible sharp piercing pain under my bump at the very front. I am having a LOT of trouble with ligament pains this pregnancy - sharp searing pain in the sides/underside of my bump, which is normal in pregnancy. I think I noticed more of that last time too. I wonder if that comes with the territory having had this many babies? I have ligament pains every pregnancy, sometimes quite a bit, but the first 5 had nothing on the 6th and 7th. It wakes me at night sometimes, and is so searing that I'm not sure what to do with myself. I am usually doing something really contorted or awkward like, ohhh, lying on my back! ;) Or my side. Something innocent and un-stressful for my ligaments like that - it's very perplexing! Changing position used to fix it pretty quick in my earlier pregnancies, but it's not doing much this time. It's as though just carrying a baby in there is stressing my ligaments out constantly. I am not sure if it has to do with her position, but I can't tell if there's a correlation.

I had my 28 week midwife appointment, and that went well. My urine was clear of any troubles, and I had my blood taken for antibodies (routine) and iron levels. They said they'd call me if my iron was low, and I haven't heard from them so I assume it's fine - it always always is during my pregnancies, so it's not a surprise to me. I went through a tired patch a while back and was pale, so Heather suspected low iron and had me take Floradix liquid iron for a while. I never finished it - I was just so sure it was a pregnancy/growth-spurt thing, and that my iron was fine, so I stopped taking it eventually. And sure enough, it seems to be fine! :)

Lydia was head down at my 28 week appointment but very high up, curled in a ball - nowhere near engaging her head in my pelvis, which is to be expected. She has plenty of room to turn about all over the place since she's my 7th baby! She is SO active!! I got worried a couple of weeks ago that there was something wrong because she seemed TOO active one evening! Evenings were her busiest time and one evening she just started kicking about like crazy. I mean, you're supposed to have 10 kicks every hour, and she was kicking more than 10 times in every MINUTE, for over an hour and a half straight!! I got concerned after half an hour and got my doppler out. My catastrophic imagination was picturing her entangled in her cord and frantically struggling to get free before she ran out of oxygen, or something like that. *sigh*

Her heartrate was around 130 (just as it was at my 28 week appointment), and it went up into the 150s range when she was particularly excited, but otherwise stayed pretty steady. No big dips. I listened in for about 20 minutes straight, and even found her umbilical cord pulse, which was pipping away nice and strongly. That reassured me somewhat that she was getting good blood flow and that (hopefully) her cord didn't have a bloomin' great knot in it or something like that (slightly more paranoid now, after Elijah was born with a true knot in his cord!). She kept it up for a long time and then went quieter for only about 20 minutes before starting with the frantic exercises again. My uterus got tired of it after a while and felt sore and crampy, and I had a lot of sore Braxton Hicks contractions! But I went to bed and she seemed more calm the next day - busy again in the evening though. Lately she isn't quite so predictable in the evenings. She is still awake and kicky and busy, but not always for very long. She is very active at various times throughout the day, evening, and night, at the moment. She kicks and pummels, and doesn't do many slow movements that I've noticed, like a long lazy stretch of her leg across me (some of my boys did that!), or slow squirms. On the other hand, she isn't at Matthew's level of strength and vigor in there either! Not many babies are, mind you! ;)

Lately I am feeling tired and breathless and pregnant. Normal 3rd trimester-ness, but it has really just started in the past week or so. I just feel under a lot of demand, physically, that's all. Not tired as in sleep-deprived, although I am that too, but just tired with the effort of growing and carrying a baby. She seems big to me, but I'm hoping I'm wrong! ;) My bump measured 29 weeks at my 28 week appointment, and she kicked about against the midwife trying to feel her position a lot! She also kicked (hard) the doppler directly at various times when I was listening to her, like she didn't want it poking her space! She is easily woken up by Elijah banging my tummy with his little hands or headbutting (he does this a LOT - like Arthur and Matthew did as babies/toddlers). I correct him all the time for it, and he has also learnt the word "gentle", and he strokes or "apologises" when he has whacked my tummy (or anywhere else on me) and I've said, "Ow! That hurts Mummy!" I have been working with him on it for a few months, because I could see the kind of baby he is (bit of a hitter) and wanted him to be clear on "gentle" and making someone better after hurting them, for when Lydia arrives. He isn't aggressive/mean, he is probably on the autistic spectrum like the other brother(s) who acted that way at that age. It's sensory in nature, for Elijah, not aggressive. I understand him. :) Anyway, he wakes her up a lot when he does that, as does Samuel or Benjamin doing loooouuuud tantrummy screaming right next to me on occasion. Hopefully she's being conditioned now to the kind of world she'll be born into, haha! ;)

We still haven't told the boys her name, but they are BEGGING to know, and we've told them that we'll let them know in September at some point, so that's quite close now. My scan dating says that my due date is October 20th (my dates by my chart say the 22nd, which I'm personally sticking with), and it's the 20th today, so that's exactly TWO MONTHS to go until my due date!!! Only 2 months!!!! That's sooooooooooo soon!! I'm exactly 31 weeks pregnant today, so only 9 weeks to go! I can't believe how fast it is going, and how close I am getting to holding my very own actual baby daughter in my arms for the first time (ever!)!! I'm so excited! To see her, and find out what she looks like - who she looks like. To put her in girly clothes - I just have that tight-throat feeling of squashing a squeal EVERY SINGLE TIME I think of that, even though that seems a really trivial or "shallow" thing to consider!

Elijah is starting to need his first haircut pretty soon, and the boys were talking about it today. Nathan said that the new baby would probably need her hair cutting when she got to be Elijah's age, and I said noooooooo, I would not cut it! I would let it grow and grow and grow, and only tidy the ends occasionally! :) They were all open-mouthed asking me WHY, lol! So I explained that I wanted my little girl to have long hair because I liked long hair on little girls. They paused to consider that, and then Arthur agreed, "Yes, I do too!" :) I hadn't thought about that before. We found the photo of Nathan from when he was about 15 months old, right before his first haircut, where I had used pink floral hairbands to put his hair into bunches - ohh he DID look sweet, hehe! But I knew it was a quick silly "thing" to do before cutting his hair. Suddenly today I realised I would be able to do that EVERY DAY with Lydia's hair and it would not be silly in the least if I did!!! Joy!! :)

I haven't started to even think about a "to do" list to get ready for her arrival yet! Normally I have by now, I think? I have so much else going on that it hasn't occurred to me, plus I have really genuinely been taken by surprise at the speed of the last few weeks passing by. I am currently in the midst of a new discipline/reward system for the boys, to get a handle on the trickiest part of my days (their behaviour and general stuff like that), and this week we began a new chores system for the first time, to help me as I get more pregnant, and in the postnatal period, and also to enable me in any case to have time to manage (read: not burn out, which would be the alternative, I assure you!), homeschool, and meet their needs, etc. Next week, Neil is off work and we are doing a "staycation", going on day trips but returning home at the end of each day. So that takes planning too. The week after is our first week back in formal schooling for the best part of a year. We've been unschooling all this time, and I am keen to start back with some formal lessons in the basics at least, and continue the "free-range" learning the rest of the time. More planning (lots and lots!) needed for a new year of homeschooling! Then suddenly I have 6 or 7 weeks to go, and yet I've only just started school with the boys for the year, so that will take my full focus for a few weeks as we get into a rhythm. I hope we'll get going well and manage to keep going up until the very end of my pregnancy, so that it's not too stop-start-y for the boys when we stop to have a baby for a bit. We'll probably stop until pretty much the end of the year - at least, I'm not expecting anything of myself until the New Year, but if Lydia is colic-free (!) and an "easy" baby like Samuel was, I can see us starting back in early December if not before, especially if we were off to a good start in the autumn. We shall see. Colicky baby girl? No plans for school until Next Year (ie. off my radar for a while!)! Love the flexibility homeschooling allows us! :)

I am getting rather excited about giving birth, although I'm sure the natural anxieties will return nearer the time when it feels more real! Last time felt like a GOOD birth experience for me (yay, at last!), not scary or unmanageable, and so for the first time I am looking forward to the next one! I know they're all different, but I'm hoping hoping hoping that the trend will continue. So far my labours are getting shorter - the last one was about 4 or 5 hours from 1st contraction to birth - and I am able to manage so much better because I feel very used to the sensations and remember, even in the moment, how I coped with that kind of pain last time, etc. Heather makes a big difference on the few occasions when I "lose it" and start freaking out or panicking - she brings me gently back to earth very quickly, and reminds me to go with my body, which I did 100% last time (again, for the first time), and which might well have been the reason I didn't tear (again, first time!) enough to require stitches. My recovery in the hours after Elijah's birth was SO much different to all the previous times, and I think it had to have something to do with the no tearing/stitches thing. Anyway, I hope Lydia's birth will be quick and straightforward and uncomplicated. And no stitches would be a marvellous bonus too! ;)

Okay, glad to have managed a decent update, but soooooo tired now - must go to bed. As always, I know there's plenty of stuff that I will have missed, but never mind. I'll really try not to leave it so many weeks this time! I want a belly picture for 32 weeks for sure, so I'll hopefully update with that. My next midwife appointment isn't until 34 weeks. I asked them to visit me at home for that, which they've agreed to do, and that makes it much easier! :) I'll update when I can! Thanks for hanging in there with this blog if you're still there! ;)

22 weeks - belly pics, baby clothes, and other things!

Too exhausted to post tonight, but if I don't get these photos on here then I may NEVER get around to it! I got a 20 week photo (albeit the day before I turned 21 week!) and then another tonight at 22w4d. I look surprisingly similar-sized in them both, although I had a loose top on in the first one and then a snug wrap-type top on in the second. My bump has grown a LOT in the past week or so, I mean really really a lot, so I'm baffled as to why it doesn't really show in the photos!

I'll put them in the belly gallery eventually, but for now here they are - the first one is 20w6d:



And this next one is 22w4d. I look more tired in this one, but nowhere near as tired as I actually feel!



People are just now seeing me as obviously pregnant at church - just today I had many people congratulating me for the first time, saying they'd wondered for a while but didn't want to ask in case I just hadn't "gone down" after the last one yet! ;) Now they are SURE, hehe! I wore what I'm wearing in the 22 week photo to church this morning so I guess it was a fairly obvious outfit! ;)

So exhausted though. I don't feel too well with it. Heather told me at church this morning that I look pale enough to concern her, and she knows I am not sleeping great at the moment but she would like me to get my haemoglobin levels checked. I am inwardly sighing at that idea, because of the faff of arranging and attending a midwife appointment (I don't have one now until 28 weeks otherwise), and I'm reluctant to bother anyway because I've NEVER been anywhere near low with my haemoglobin during any of my pregnancies, but I've been this tired here and there during all of my pregnancies, especially the last few, I think. I don't think it's a getting older thing, I think it's just the sheer demand on me physically as I have more children. I am breastfeeding two (very little milk left though), and a third (Benjamin) is still having the odd breastfeed at bedtime several nights a week, and very occasionally in the day if he asks and it's convenient for me at that time. Elijah wakes several times at night and breastfeeds. Lately I have much worse Restless Leg Syndrome (typical for me during pregnancy, though I can get it badly when not pregnant if I'm tired enough), and it affects my arms too and sometimes my torso when it's really bad. This makes it almost impossible to bear lying still enough to breastfeed during the night, and Elijah gets cross and screechy if he can't nurse to sleep. *sigh* So night wakings are more prolonged and demanding than they used to be. He's settling sometimes now with me rubbing his back for a few minutes. But it can be 30 or more minutes up with him in the night per waking, sometimes. Yawwwwn. I have no plans to night wean, though I probably should start thinking about what I plan to do about it soon.

Anyway, in the absence of a midwife appointment/haemoglobin check (which I feel sure is fine anyway), Heather has insisted I go out and buy some Floradix liquid iron to take, and I've done that today, along with some liquid magnesium of the same brand. As well as the Restless Leg Syndrome, I am having increasing bother from cramps in the muscles on the sides of my lower legs - not the big calf muscle that's more typical. A couple of nights ago I woke up at 4.30am with one of them in hard cramp and I couldn't release it no matter what I did! I tried stretching it, walking, massaging. Elijah was asleep next to me, but I knew he would probably wake up pretty soon if I kept fidgetting about and then I knew the pain of the cramp would prevent me being able to lie still and breastfeed him until he was asleep again, so I got up and tried to walk some more. I was just debating waking Neil and asking him to keep an eye on Elijah (as he was stirring) so I could try - I don't know what! - hot compress? Painkillers?! I had no idea how to release the cramp! If I didn't physically pull my foot straight, the whole thing twisted by itself at the ankle until it was bent inwards and under, and I couldn't override it with just my muscles, I had to physically force it in place with my hands and hold it there! While I was standing in the dark on the landing wondering what to do, I noticed it easing a little bit, and so I stayed where I was until it was eased enough to head back to bed. It hurt like I'd strained the muscle the next day and it's a bit sore today, but I was careful to try not to move that particular leg muscle at ALL last night when I woke at 4am (for a wee - needing a wee once each night this week, which is new this pregnancy). It felt "dodgy", like it would have like to cramp up but thankfully it didn't. So hopefully magnesium will help with both the RLS and the cramps.

Little baby-lady-girl is growing well! She has grown SO much, I can feel the difference in the last two weeks. Her kicks went to "pretty big" last week and I thought that was a big jump in growth, but just yesterday and today I suddenly have kicks above my tummy button from feet which feel like proper 3rd trimester paddles, lol! I also felt her doing all sorts of fiddly plucky things with what felt very clearly like fingers, low down, this afternoon. She was head down at the scan, and I think she still is, although at this early stage that could change several times a day even!

I LOVE using the word "she"!! It is really settling in now that I'm having a baby girl, and I can't describe how joyful the past two weeks have been since we found out! :) I have bought a number of baby clothes on eBay and they've been arriving thick and fast in the post since then - such a wonderful fun time! :) The boys are excited, especially Arthur, seeing her clothes arrive. When the first ones came, they went a bit quiet and Arthur said it felt a bit strange seeing such different clothes, because it reminded him that it would be something different this time, and he doesn't do well with unknowns (Asperger's) so he was a bit unsettled by it at first. I reminded him that she would look like the boys, because she has come from the same Mummy and Daddy, and he brightened right up about it when I told him happily how I saw her nose and lips at the scan and they looked so very much like Matthew's had at his scan! :)

They are DESPERATE to know her name! We told them we are not going to tell them her name until much later in the pregnancy, because it's Mummy and Daddy's secret right now. They know the name will be for family and close friends ONLY, and that we are worried the littler boys will tell people accidentally if they know, so we will tell them "when it's time", later, but definitely before she is born. Arthur keeps asking questions all the same - he is never one to drop a subject, lol! He asked if it's a Bible name, and I said yes. He asked if it was Mary, and I said no, it's not found very often in the Bible. He asked if it was an Old Testament name or a New Testament one, and I told him New Testament, but THAT'S IT - no more clues! He will figure it out otherwise (he may anyway!) and I am not going to tell him if he guesses right, not at the moment anyway.

I am getting used to thinking of Lydia by name. I have her little clothes piled on the stairs where they are placed out of the way when they arrive and have been looked at and stroked, etc. I have my favourites of them all upstairs in the box of Elijah's clothes (he's STILL in 6-9 month clothing!) next to my bed. There's a sleepsuit that I got which I am in LOVE with. I should take a photo of it and post it. As soon as I unwrapped it and saw it, I knew it was the first thing I wanted Lydia to be dressed in after she's born. KNEW it. It is size newborn (7.5lbs, I think, which she should still fit into if she's a pound heavier if memory serves, as a brand new little person!) with slightly frilled cuffs on the sleeves, white with pink trim, and little pink roses printed all over it. It's still just a sleepsuit, but I'm in love. Every time I wake up and get out of bed I see it, and every time I take Elijah up for a nap or get him when he wakes, and when I go to bed. It makes me smile and feel warm inside every time, and I always stop to touch it for a moment. I say her name inside my head when I see it, and my whole heart fills with longing for the day when she's HERE and I put her in it (or someone does for me), and I hold her (I typed "him", haha! Force of habit!) - MY DAUGHTER! - and look at her in my arms, being all real and mine and clothed in this beautiful girly little sleepsuit. Sometimes I have a moment where fear clutches at my throat as I think of mothers who are filled with pain looking at a sleepsuit like I am doing, with a more raw and unbearable longing in their hearts for the baby that should be inside it, because their little one never made it to that point. I don't know what I'd do if that happened to Lydia - to me. Just for a second, I look at it and imagine looking at it with that longing. It's crazy to let my mind go there, but somehow it's hard to stop it - I don't let it linger, and I pray and try to focus on something else. I have these flashes of anxiety about ALL of my unborn babies - it's not just because she's a girl.

Anyway, her sweet first outfit is ready! :) And I'm having such a glorious time choosing and purchasing and stroking my little girl's teeny weeny little DRESSES, and floral patterns, and little frills on things, and sweet shades of pink against whites or denims. And baby tights that match a pattern on a top/dress set!!!! Even the boys went, "Aaawwwwww!!" when I pulled that one out of the package one morning when the postman came! :) Whenever packages arrive they all stop playing and crowd round, shouting, "Baby girl clothes! Baby girl clothes!" How I love my boys! :)

When the first eBay package came, I took photos of the items in it, as I had promised a friend on Facebook that I would! So I have those to post here, for sweet memory's sake! It was a precious moment for me to receive my first "pink" package in the post, and a permanent memory treasure, so I'm glad to record it here with photos! :) They are all sized "newborn" and very soft and lovely! The dress is soft brownish cord with pink sequins on the embroidery, and buttons on the back in the shape of hearts and flowers! :)

Arthur constantly refers to Lydia as "my little sister", almost as though he's longing to use the term as often as possible while he doesn't have an actual name he can use. Part of me really wants to tell him her name! He finds an item of her clothing lying around and grabs it up, calling to me, "What shall I do with my little sister's top?" He says he doesn't think he can bear waiting until she's here!

One day last week, an eBay package arrived with a couple of outfits in size 3-6 months. One of them looked overly generous in size, though it was definitely 3-6 months (Marks and Spencer brand), and when I took it out and held it up, Arthur said, "That would fit Elijah!" I held it up against him (he was toddling along some furniture in the living room) and realised it would be a perfect fit!!! Arthur BEGGED me to put it on Elijah, "just to see", and so I did! I took photos. Arthur was fussing over him like crazy after I took them. Elijah kept wanting to do normal stuff and walk about and play, etc. and Arthur wouldn't stop following him and picking him up. He kept holding him in his arms, bouncing him a bit, saying how sweet he looked! I noticed he seemed to be holding him more tenderly and gently than usual, and he told me it was because Elijah seemed "different" with the baby girl clothes on. I asked in what way, and he said, "Just softer and sweeter... like he's a baby girl... I just can't wait until our baby girl is here!!!" Bless his heart! I don't know where he got the stereotypes from there, but they're straight from his heart/head, not influenced - I don't know how he could have influence in terms of gender-related things. There's only one gender of children here, they're homeschooled and watch no TV! They have watched TV in the past though, including advertisements. *sigh* Hate those things! Anyway, here are the photos of sweet lil 'Lijah in his baby sister's clothes - he looks so pretty and sweet, hehe!

I hadn't noticed until Ella mentioned it that he is being all dainty with his little pointy toe in the first photo, hehe! He wore the outfit for an hour or two, and then I thought I ought to probably change him out of it, since it was too warm for the weather and he'd dribbled on it pretty well in that time! ;) Here he is all "boy" again an hour later:

Sweet tiny manny! He's so tiny for his age!! I bought him his first shoes (at last, after a massive search!) this week - he fits size 2F (!!!) but I bought him size 2.5F as well because he's sure to be in those soon. So weeeeeeeeny!!

Anyway, it's late and I'm tired, and I'm sure I have a lot else to report on my pregnancy over the past week or two, but I can't think any more and I just need to get some sleep. I'm glad to have updated with the photos and the belly pics, and with how it feels to be having a baby GIRL (GIRL GIRL GIIIIIRRRRLLLL!!! Can't stop saying it like that still!) in the couple of weeks since we found out!

I will try to update again soon!

Belly Gallery for Baby #7!

Here is my belly gallery for my 7th baby! :) I am totally missing the mark on my usual timings for belly pictures so far (14 weeks) but never mind! Here's the first one, taken at 7 weeks instead of the usual 5 weeks (the light was really poor and the camera was being weird, hence my attempt to rescue it by making it black and white!):


7 weeks pregnant


12 (and a half!) weeks pregnant


20 weeks and 6 days pregnant (and it's a GIRL!!!)


22 weeks (an on-time belly picture at last!)


28 weeks exactly, with my little ones all around me (an imitation of the 28 week belly pic from Elijah's pregnancy!)


32 weeks pregnant - it'll do as a belly pic as I'm sideways on, lol! Family photo taken by a random stranger on our holiday week in August. :)


38 weeks and 1 day! :)

36 week belly pictures

Just a quick post to get my 36 week belly pictures up! I knew I would never remember to get them done once the weekend began, so I grabbed the small point-and-shoot camera to set the timer upstairs, and Arthur saw me and wanted to know what I was doing. When I told him, he was soooo insistent on taking the photos for me, so I let him! :) So these belly pics are not like my usual ones - they're sort of "real life", hehe!

He never let me know when he was about to take a photo, just snapped away! ;) There were lots of MUCH less flattering ones, one of Samuel clinging to my legs pulling my trousers down, and several blurry ones, but these ones are fine and show my bump's shape and size pretty well! :)

That is all! I will be back to update again soon. Arthur's cold is passing off okay, Samuel has just started with a runny nose, and Matthew and Nathan have sore throats (Nathan is quite miserable just now), but Benjamin is cheerfully declaring himself symptom-free so far! Hopefully we'll all get it over and done with quickly and NOT catch anything else close to Elijah's birth...

34 weeks, 4 days

I'm a bit late updating on the midwife appointment on Friday (was it Friday?! It's only Sunday now, but it feels like ages ago!). It was just a routine appointment - no blood tests or anything - for 34 weeks.

Neil had booked Friday off work for a long weekend, because of the appointment, so that he could take the boys out to the park so I didn't have to take them all with me to the appointment. I haven't had to take the boys to a SINGLE antenatal appointment this pregnancy, and I'm so grateful! It isn't easy to lug a couple of children to appointments when pregnant, and just so much harder when there are this many more of them! We arranged at the beginning of my pregnancy that if he possibly could, Neil would book a half day or full day of his holiday time on an appointment day. If he couldn't, we have had the blessing of being able to ask Heather if she could watch the boys at home while I go to an appointment (I would never have thought to, but she offered - we haven't had to take her up on it yet though). It's nice to add an extra day to the weekend, or to break up the week if it's a Wednesday appointment. There haven't been all that many actually. I seem to be offered fewer and fewer opportunities to see the midwife with every pregnancy! They are getting shorter staffed every time I have another baby, and the community team here are very stretched right now :( But I guess I'm making up for it by having to see the consultant more often. *sigh*

Anyway! I went for a wee before leaving the house, which I regretted straight away as I remembered I would need to do a urine sample when I arrived. But oh well! I managed a tiny sample - enough to test with - but I usually take care to make them "mid-stream" samples and this time I couldn't because I didn't have enough.

The first thing the midwife did was test my urine, and she said that I had some leukocytes in it. I just said, "Oh yes, that happens to me a lot." It's really common for me to have leukocytes (white blood cells) and protein in my urine, even though that isn't apparently normal. I've often had that from childhood, and they always send the sample off for testing (as it can indicate infection) but it never grows anything. Anyway there was no protein, just leukocytes. She asked me if I had had any pain on passing urine or anything like that, and I said no. She said she thought she would send it off for testing anyway, and I said okay. Then she said there were 3 pluses of leukocytes in there!!! Yikes! That's about as much as a test stick can show - that's not the usual trace (or a bit more) of leukocytes that I'm used to! So I really really REALLY hope it's not the start of a urine infection. She told me to drink plenty of fluids to flush it out before it got hold. Later in the day I noticed a slight soreness on weeing :( Yesterday I felt under the weather, just achy and crampy and it DID hurt to wee. Bummer. I drank tons of water yesterday and just prayed that it would go away by itself. The midwife had told me to go to the doctor for antibiotics sooner rather than later, if I developed symptoms, because you don't need the risks with a UTI during pregnancy, but it was weekend anyway, and the symptoms were mild. Today it really doesn't hurt much at all to wee, and I feel much better in myself. I haven't been so good at drinking a lot of water today but I am still drinking more than I usually would.

The test results should come back sometime during the week in any case, but I'm still vaguely hoping that they are normal all the same. Another possible reason for leukocytes or protein in the urine is contamination - basically CM getting into the urine sample. That's another reason I try to do mid-stream samples. Over the past two weeks I have noticed an increase in the amount of CM I have, and also it's a bit more "mucus-plug" ish - NOT actually mucus plug, but you know. Things are changing, all perfectly normal and familiar to me. Quite exciting to see, knowing what it means! :) Baby soon, baby soon, baby sooooon! Can't wait to hold him in my arms and see what he looks like! Anyway so I'm hoping it was just a contaminated sample and everything is fine, and I won't need to haul myself to the doctor (inconveniently!) and have to take antibiotics.

My blood pressure was 120/60 - more than my usual, but still fine and normal. We chatted briefly about upcoming appointments, and the midwife tried to get through on the phone to book me an appointment with the head of midwifery at the hospital, because I still hadn't heard back about that, but she couldn't get through. Then she asked me to hop up (haha!) onto the bed.

She listened to Elijah's heartbeat with the doppler (always lovely to hear!) and measured my tummy. She hmmmed a bit when she measured it, and then said it was a bit small for dates. I've heard that before a few times this pregnancy, and wasn't concerned, although I've measured spot on for dates at my 32 and 28 week appointments. I actually thought she didn't measure me accurately because the bed was raised at the top end and the small of my back was dipped down in the "bend". I felt like that would "dip" my bump as well and it might not measure up as big as it was with the tape measure. Anyway. She said I was measuring 32 weeks, and they don't worry about measuring out up to 2 weeks either side, but since my norm with my other babies was to measure spot on or ahead, she wanted to send me to the Day Assessment Unit at the hospital (my appointment was in the community at a health centre, which they always are with the midwives). I said, "What, now?!" and she said yes. She got straight on the phone and called the DAU, and asked if they could see me right away to assess me and see whether I should have a growth scan. She was telling them that "we" were probably just panicking over nothing, but that it would be good for reassurance if they'd see me! I was sat there on the bed thinking, "I'M not panicking at all! I don't feel the need for reassurance either!" ;) Elijah has seemed small before, right from the first half of my pregnancy, but when I've had a scan to check, he has measured spot on for dates. So I wasn't worried.

Anyway, she felt my tummy and declared him to be head down (yay!), not engaged, and seeming perfectly happy in there. She said he felt "diddy" to her, but I don't know - he feels pretty enormous to me! ;) He seems to fill my torso up to about an inch below my diaphragm - I've even had trouble this week with pressure on my stomach from his bottom or a random foot, making me feel a bit yeurghy on a full stomach, and I was thinking how I've got 6 weeks to go, and isn't it a bit early for him to be squashing me SO if he's going to be growing a fair bit more in the weeks to come?! So I don't know about him being little.... The genes do exist to make a little baby though, even though I generally seem to birth bigger than average ones! My mum's two babies were born at 39.5 weeks. I weighed 5lbs 10oz and my brother weighed 6lbs 10oz. None of Neil's siblings weighed as much as 8lbs, though they were all heavier than my mum's babies. Neil was a 36-weeker, weighing 5lbs 13oz (exactly the same as Nathey's weight at the same gestation, well, a couple of days earlier!) so he would have been 8.5lbs maybe, if he'd have gone to his due date? Matthew is my genetically smaller baby - a week past his due date and still my littlest at 7lbs 11oz. Maybe Elijah is just going to be a littler baby because that's the way he is, like Matthew, or even more so?

So that was the end of the appointment and I was supposed to go directly to the hospital, but I confess I was naughty and went home first, since it was on the way. I phoned Neil's mobile (he was at the park) and told him what was going on, and then I phoned Heather to tell her. She was just sitting down to a late lunch but she said if I could wait 15 minutes or so, and then pick her up, she would be able to come with me! She is usually so busy that I hadn't thought she would be available but I did hope she would be! :) So I drank a huge glass of water, changed into yet another pair of maternity jeans that might not slide down my hips as I walked along (seem to be having that trouble now that my bump is so big and smooth - fabric just slides over it, lol!), and then set off to pick Heather up. I felt a bit bad for not going straight there, but they were fine about it when we got there. I did another urine sample, this time taking care to mid-stream it, but they didn't want it!!! They said the one I did earlier had already been sent off so they didn't need to recheck it - I wish they had, in case it was fine, but oh well.

There didn't seem much point in going to the Day Assessment Unit, to be honest. We didn't have to wait long which was a good thing - usually the wait is very long. Another midwife measured my bump again, this time with me lying in a much better position, and I was so sure it would be fine but I still measured 32 weeks :S That's the first time I felt a bit nervous about it, because I remembered that I had an appointment at 32 weeks with the consultant and my bump measured 32 weeks. Now it was over 2 weeks later and my bump had not grown, so that made me worry a bit. I did FEEL like I had grown though...

They said they would book me in for a growth scan on Monday at lunchtime, the next available opportunity since it was Friday, but I was pretty sure that would not work for Neil. He wouldn't have chance to ask them at work if it was okay, and I know he told me that this week coming is the start of a VERY busy few weeks at work for him. He has a project due in on Tuesday, which would mean working hard on Monday to get it finished. So I told them I didn't think I would be able to get to a scan on Monday because of child-care. They offered me Tuesday morning at 8.30am, and I said yes to that one. I figured I could always phone and cancel if I HAD to, and they seemed very keen for Elijah to be checked sooner rather than later, and I wanted to go along with that really. Heather then told me that if Neil couldn't take that time to be at home, she could stay at home with the boys (it would be a nightmare to take them along with us, trust me) but I would obviously go to the appointment on my own. So I felt better about that - one way or the other I would be okay to attend the scan on Tuesday. I just had to find out what Neil thought about it. Heather is currently on call for a client whose due date was 6 days ago, so actually she could be unavailable on Tuesday. She said she would just pray that her lady would give birth this weekend or after the appointment! :) She went to almost 42 weeks with her last pregnancy, so we'll see.

Neil said he thinks Tuesday will be fine with work. He is doing some work this evening (Sunday) on his work laptop to get a head-start on tomorrow's work. He does not have to be the one handing over the project on Tuesday, so long as it is finished by the end of tomorrow. He doesn't know yet whether to ask if he can work from home on Tuesday morning, or to ask if he can use a half-day holiday instead. Either way it should be okay. He has plenty of holiday to use as he has hardly used any yet this year. So in any case, he will stay home with the boys, and Heather will come with me to the appointment. It works better that way, for the boys, and Neil doesn't ever mind missing scans and such. We even discussed this evening what we'd do if my waters broke like they did with Nathey, and I have to go into hospital to give birth. We decided that Neil will stay home, and not see his newest son born, or even his first few hours, and Heather will be with me at the hospital. We talked about how we feel about that. It LOOKS (seems) kind of wrong - I mean, EVERY birth involves the baby's daddy. Even if it somehow doesn't, he's always there ASAP to meet and bond with his new baby. It LOOKS weird or wrong of us not to do that on purpose! But that's why we talked about it. Neil is increasingly squeamish about birth, which he admits is crazy since he delivered Matthew himself, haha! And he missed Samuel's birth because I didn't alert him with a lot of loud wailing as he came out! ;) So now that we've done that, where he's missed the birth before... It wasn't so bad. I had previously felt that I would be really upset if Neil missed any of his children being born, but it was fine. Heather fetched him right away as soon as Samuel was out, and he came immediately to see us. I asked him how he had felt about that, and he said it was absolutely fine. He feels happy for me to "do my thing" as he puts it! ;) So long as I have the support I need (in Heather), then he feels more useful looking after the boys, which adds to my support, knowing that they are happy and secure while I'm giving birth. It's a distraction and a stress for me during labour otherwise. I can totally relax about it if I know they're with Daddy, and it's a relief to know that he doesn't feel badly about not being part of the labour or birth. I said, "But what about bonding with the baby?" and he reassured me that he would have plenty of time to do that, and he didn't have any concerns about it. If I went into hospital, he would come to see us as soon as he possibly could after the birth. Ideally I wonder if Heather would swap with him at home so that he could come and see us, and it would just be the three of us for a bit? Before the boys meet him, that is.

Anyway, I really hope I get to have a homebirth and then none of that needs to be worried about! I have Heather with me to support me during labour, but Neil is right there in the house, popping in occasionally as he does to see how it's going or if anyone wants a cup of tea! :) And the boys playing or squabbling or watching a movie, or eating downstairs. Sometimes those sounds are distracting, but for the most part I tune them out. Sometimes they are reassuring sounds, a happy distraction. Then when the baby comes, Neil is right there, either to burst into the room and see his new son arrive, or to come in moments later. The boys know immediately when the baby has arrived, and get to meet him soon after, and then just run off back to the game they were playing or movie they were watching, or continue getting ready for bed - such lovely normality!! Meanwhile I am being looked after, pampered even! Bed being changed around me, cup of tea and marmite on toast (my requested refreshment after giving birth every time when I'm at home - so much so that I am actually looking forward to it already, even though I eat and drink that any time I like! It never tastes so good as when I've just given birth. Ahhh!) up on the table beside my bed, happy tones and laughing voices around me, and that beautiful slightly drunken feel of having been through ALL OF THAT and the absolute disbelief and joyous achievement of being on the other side of it, with a precious brand new little person in my arms while it's all going on! NOTHING. LIKE. IT. Absolutely nothing like it. So I hope so much that it's what I am blessed to experience again this time! :)

So I will go for a growth scan on Tuesday morning with Heather (hopefully!). I have to hang around at the DAU again afterwards where they'll do another routine antenatal check on me while I'm there, for 35 weeks, as I'll be 35 weeks the following day. I wasn't due an appointment then, but since I'm there they will do one anyway. They'll re-test my urine, and hopefully the test results from the last sample will be back and I'll know where to go from there about it. I will then have to wait to see the doctor, apparently, to discuss the scan, so it could be a rather drawn out morning. But at least my scan appointment is the first one of the day - hopefully that means I won't end up waiting too long for various parts of it.

Oh my urine did also have a trace of sugar in it. Occasionally that's been the case in other pregnancies (like once in a couple of my pregnancies), but those were always after eating a bowl of Coco Pops or 4 chocolate digestives before my appointment! ;) This time Neil bought a pack of Tesco triple chocolate cookies, and I had eaten one an hour or so before my appointment. Heather says that's totally normal, and not to worry about it, so I'm not.

Elijah has been having such a lot of hiccups still! Usually about 5 or 6 bouts a day, and Arthur keeps count through the day as I usually say out loud, "Oh! Elijah has the hiccups again!" :) He loves to hear about Elijah's hiccups! He is very excited about having a new baby around again. I can't remember if I said so here, but a month or so ago he told me he felt it was time he had some experience with a newborn baby again, because it had been a while :) He is SO knowledgeable about babies now, which sometimes strikes me as funny - not the norm for 7-year-old boys I suppose! ;) I remember one time when he was newly turned 6, he was chatting to a lady at church who had a baby with her. He was casually asking about the baby, very at ease, and saying hello to the baby in a cutesy voice. I overheard him ask how old the baby was, and she said 6 months. He put on a very knowing look, and said, "Is she eating solid food yet? Six months is about that age... and she'll be crawling before you know it!" lol! Sweet funny big-brother-of-many! I love my Arthur! :) He loves to tell me what he remembers about his brothers arriving. He remembers all of them back to Nathan, being born, and he remembers parts of my pregnancy with Nathan too (he was 2-3 years old during that pregnancy). He doesn't remember the night Matthew was born, but he was only 19 months old, and he tries so hard to squeeze his brain and remember, bless his heart! It makes him happy to remember the baby brothers coming and how they have hit milestones (he's REALLY keen on baby milestones, is this boy. Always on at me to "get the red book, Mummy, and write it down before you forget!!"), and entertained him with various antics, and so on. It warms my heart, and is VERY reassuring because of how he's the biggest brother to so many little siblings at such a young age. He is happy and thriving, and I'm so relieved and happy about that! :)

All the boys (who are aware of it!) are very eager to meet Elijah. Matthew still mostly calls him Sausage, though the others call him Elijah. He just thinks "Sausage" is the sweetest name ever! Nathan continues to suggest cute little nicknames for baby number whichever-number-we're-on-in-these-discussions! I think we are up to baby number 13 in Nathan's naming project, lol! All the older 3 are happily talking about the next baby after this one, as though it's a matter of fact. They just presume the babies will keep coming, and it's a joy to them - and a joy to me to see that. I am beginning to worry that they'll be sad or confused when the babies STOP coming, so I have told them that eventually we won't have any more babies. They DID look sad and very sombre, and asked why not. I said that Mummy's body would not be able to carry babies any more as I got older, and that's just the way God designed women. They hoped we would still have 3, NO! Five! No, TEN! more babies before that happened! LOVE my boys! :) I myself am praying for a couple more. I think if I'm blessed enough to have the spacing continue at the pace it has been going (and it won't forever, from what I've seen in other families - the gaps start growing before menopause), I might have two more children by the time I am 40. I hope. And then I'm 40. And the risks go up up up. And the chances of conception go down down down. And my family history would put me at peri-menopausal from pretty much the get-go, when I reach my 40s :( I am actively praying that I don't follow in my mother's footsteps, and am able to have babies in my early 40s without any issues. I don't have a "number" of babies that I want to have. I just know I want to have as many babies as the Lord would be pleased to bless us with, and I happen to be utterly loving this journey so I am hoping it is many more, somehow! I trust God, and I am not looking ahead too far. I trust Him. We are also open to adoption. I trust Him on that too, as to whether He will use us in that area or not, and when, and to what degree - later than when we're still fertile, with older children? Or soon, with little ones? All I know is, I trust Him, and I'm excited! :)

Well, this is pretty much the longest entry in a LONG time! Definitely long enough for people's eyes to be going boxy, so I will stop now! I did remember to get a belly pic this weekend, which Neil took for me after the boys were in bed. I'm glad to have a 34 week belly pic after 6 weeks without one, but I'm reluctant to post it all the same because it's SO UNFLATTERING, and I look so bemused, even though I'm actually smiling!!!! I'm definitely looking weighty and knackered now, lol! Just NOT a flattering picture, but oh well, it shows the bumpy boy and that's the bit I want to keep a record of! Never mind the trousers all baggy under my bump - I told you I was having trouble with my maternity trousers! ;) They just keep sliiiiding under the bump, no matter how many zillion times I pull them up again!



I do FEEL very exhausted this week/weekend. I don't know if I do have a urine infection and that could account for just feeling tired out to the bone, or if it's just another growth-spurt type of stage for Elijah and allllll my resources are being used up for that? Maybe he even measured behind because he was JUST ABOUT to have a growth spurt and now he'll be all caught up? I have been extra hungry for a couple of days at the end of the week, and this weekend just feel wiped out and breathless.

Anyway, belly picture in the gallery, and now I will stop and go to bed! :) Will try to update soon after the scan on Tuesday - I might even have a pic to post! I do like to see my little tiny ones at the scans, but I mostly just want him to be okay this time, rather than eagerness to see him. I just hope he measures fine again, despite what my bump might measure. I hope he is fine in there.

28 weeks (belated!)

Oh dear, I'm so very behind!!! It's very late and instead of going to bed (like I should!) I am here trying to catch up a bit. I'm currently 30 (!!!!) weeks pregnant, but I meant to update for 28 weeks, and just STILL haven't got round to it. So this will be a quick entry for 28 weeks, and I'll update with stuff from the last week or so as soon as I can.

First things first - I set the camera timer to take a 28 week belly pic on the day I turned 28 weeks, so FINALLY I can add a picture to the gallery! It's been quite neglected this pregnancy :( I took the photo during the day when Neil was at work, so of course all the boys were about. I ended up taking one with all of them in it with me, which turned out lovely! :) I really like seeing all my sweetie pies around me with my baby bump! Here it is (and I'll post it in the gallery too):





Also at 28 weeks I had a midwife appointment - my first since 16 weeks!!! They are so far and few in between these days. NHS cuts or something :/ Anyway, that was on the Thursday, the day after the photo was taken. Everything seems fine - my urine was completely normal and my blood pressure was 110/65, which I was pleased about. I don't like it to get too low because I feel a bit rubbish, so I followed their advice and drank PLENTY that morning, which made for a nice low (but not too low!) blood pressure! :) Also it went in my favour for all the blood I had to have taken at the appointment - just routine blood tests for antibodies and haemoglobin levels, etc. I get the results at my next appointment, I think. Anyway that all went fine.

The midwife (Carol - the midwife who first came round when I was in labour with Benjamin, but who didn't end up staying until he was born because her shift ended) felt my tummy and said that Elijah is transverse. I knew he was, and had been for quite some weeks, because his head seemed to be always in my left side, and there were lots of kicks and wiggles in my right side, or upwards or downwards on my right side too. She said he was curled up happily like he was lying in a hammock with his back to my pelvis. NOT a position I want him to stay in, but she said there was no cause for concern at 28 weeks. At 36 weeks that would not be good! But at 28 weeks he has plenty of time to turn around. I think he did turn around since then, but I honestly can't for the life of me feel which way up or down or round he is since then. Kicks seem to be everywhere and there are various hard lumps which *could* be his head, in random locations! I feel a bit annoyed with myself because I have always found it easy to feel my babies through my tummy, and I feel as though I'm losing my touch or something this time! Or maybe my layers are just getting kind of "slack" and that's why?! Anyway, I will have to wait until my next appointment - the consultant at 32 weeks - to have someone feel my tummy and tell me which way up my baby is. *sigh* I keep checking though, in case it gets more obvious to me, meanwhile.

We heard his sweet little heart beating, and he wiggled and had some hiccups after a bit, and that was lovely! And that was pretty much it. I was "due" an Anti-D injection but they know (at last!) that I refuse them because Neil is also rhesus negative, so that wasn't an issue. She asked if I still want a homebirth, and I said yes. I do, because that's the most obvious, natural thing to do about giving birth, for me. I wouldn't CHOOSE a hospital birth, unless there became a reason for doing so. So I just presume to have my baby at home, and keep open-minded about things as the pregnancy progresses, in case any issues come up. Of course, I have Heather to help me weigh things up if that happens, and make the best decision. I don't have a huge aversion to giving birth in hospital at all, but I definitely prefer to be at home, it's SOOOOOO much nicer! :) Hopefully my little manny will turn head down and not give anyone pause for thought about the location of the birth! I ESPECIALLY do not want to have a caesarean. That's a positively terrifying thought for me! :S But I am not thinking about that until later on down the line.

I weighed myself at last, for the first time in aaaaages, at 27 and a half weeks. I weighed 10 stone 5lbs, or was it 10 stone 6lbs?? I can't remember now! My memory is AWFUL this pregnancy, and I'm absolutely foggy at all times in my head! Anyway I think I started this pregnancy at somewhere around 8 and a half stone (or was it a bit less?) - my lightest start to a pregnancy since my SECOND baby, thanks to a tummy bug and a kidney stone in the months before conceiving. So at 28 weeks I had gained roughly a lb per week of my pregnancy, which at this stage is very normal and typical for me. I was LESS thrilled 9 days later when I was feeling very heavy and it was hard work to force my thighs to carry me up the stairs (!!), and the scales confirmed for me that I had gained 4lbs. In 9 days. I had been eating ANYTHING I felt like, and usually do when I'm pregnant (can't stand obsessing over weight during pregnancy, it's a pet peeve of mine when people do that), but I had been craving a lot of sweet junk and carbs and so on - ohhh the doughnuts I put away around that time! ;) Quite a lot of doughnuts... I guess I am arriving at the stage (third trimester now!!) where I put on weight much faster and more easily than before, and for that matter, so does my baby. THAT'S the thing that made me stop and think about it. So far my babies have weighed (in order of birth) 8lbs 1oz, 7lbs 11oz (he's my pattern breaker, but has always been petite ever since), 5lbs 13oz at 35 weeks (which would have converted to roughly 8lbs 8oz at my due date), 8lbs 11oz, and most recently 9lbs 9oz. Those last two babies were definitely bigger than my frame (I'm normally a petite build and 5ft 3in) would ideally manage to carry, and I actually had to push them out as well (the previous two didn't need a single push, lol!). Samuel had a lot of congestion and bruising to his face when he was born, and broken blood vessels in the whites of his eyes. He didn't get stuck, and he wasn't born particularly fast or slow, but I am thinking his size in comparison to mine was the likely reason. Labour and birth with Samuel was about 4 hours and 45 minutes, though they really didn't know when to say labour actually started, since I just lie there quietly giving relatively few signs of labouring until I get near to transition! I also never allow them to examine me to check how dilated I am, so they can't tell that way either. They had to count back the hours and ask me about my own feelings on my progress to figure it out, so it was pretty approximate. I believe they put my second stage down as 7 minutes last time - my longest in quite a few babies.

I really really really would prefer it if I did not grow Elijah as big as my last two babies. I am not sure if I can do much about that! But if I can, it would be a good thing. I don't NEED to carry 9lb babies, and my babies definitely don't NEED to grow to 9lbs - for example, Samuel is the same body type as Matthew, who was born at a pretty accurate birth weight for his body type and dropped to an ever lower percentile as a baby for his first year. Samuel is the same way, so he wasn't really MEANT to be a big newborn, not as far as his genetics go anyway. I'm wondering if I consumed less sugar in my 3rd trimesters, that maybe I might come out at the end with lighter, more-appropriate-for-their-body-type babies? When Benjamin was born they said my placenta was really big, and told me they weren't surprised he was my biggest therefore. So there would have been nothing I could do about that! ;) But I was so shocked when they told me Samuel's weight after he was born! I couldn't believe I'd carried and birthed a baby heavier than 9 and a half pounds! Little me! lol! Anyway. Elijah feels kind of big to me, but probably just because I'm feeling good and pregnant at this stage now. The top of my uterus has continued to measure "low" to me, in fingerwidths above my tummy button. I mentioned this to the midwife, and she said it did SEEM a little on the low side, but I measured about 28cm anyway (spot on for 28 weeks) with the tape measure, so she put it down to the fact that he's transverse.

Anyway, since the discovery of my 4lb gain in 9 days I have slowed down on the sugar and carbs a bit. I am still eating sugar and carbs! But I don't need to stuff my face with chocolate every evening! ;) And I haven't bought any more doughnuts since, either. I'm trying to stop eating when I feel full instead of finishing my plateful, which I sometimes have been doing. And eat more fruit - I don't eat enough of that anyway, and it is sweet so it satisfies some of the sugar craving. Otherwise I'm continuing to eat when and what I want, as before. It probably won't make any difference to the weight gain speed, but it's probably better to make those small changes anyway! I normally gain 40lbs + over a whole pregnancy, and my first few were all 55lbs + in total - I hope I don't gain quite that much this time because it wasn't nice to be that heavy on my frame at the end, those other times.

So that is about all for the 28 week update (and a little beyond, here and there!). I have been having a lot of pelvic pain in my lower back, deep in my pelvis. Nothing really at ALL at my pubic bone, which is odd/nice! Maybe that is yet to come? But LOTS of back/hip pain this time. It hurts to walk, and crawling in particular is just dreadful (which I sometimes do if I'm down on the floor picking up toys strewn everywhere). Getting up off the floor is getting interesting, lol! I am beginning to feel "big" now, and I do love it! :) I sleep mostly on my left side all night long, because I am still co-sleeping with Samuel and breastfeeding him on demand if he wakes. So I always face him. I never EVER sleep with my back to him, so I never sleep on my right side. I sometimes find myself on my back, but it hurts my pelvis a lot to be on my back for any length of time, weirdly. So I try to stay on my left side. I have very little in the way of breastmilk, but I can still hand express a drop or so of what looks like a mixture of white milk and colostrum. It's thicker and stickier than normal milk, so I'm guessing that's what it is. Samuel and Benjamin are still nursing as normal, though Benjamin isn't 100% thrilled about the change in my milk. He's still going though! :)

Elijah has been very wiggly up to 28 weeks (and beyond of course, but I'm trying to only write about it as though I was updating JUST for 28 weeks), lots of hiccups and some sweet little graspy/lose-grip movements with his hands - I often wonder if he's playing with his feet or his umbilical cord when he does that. I can actually feel his fingers clutch at something against the wall of my tummy, and then there's a real strong ping/thud as the thing he grasped at slips out of his hands. Usually a foot, when it's a thud, but sometimes he has seemed to be grappling with something that doesn't go "ping/thud" like his feet, so I wonder about his cord :) Sweet little peep! I just can't WAIT to meet him! I love him sooooooo much already!!

I will update again soon, or at least try to! I really want to take another belly pic this week - well, the week is passing fast and I want a belly pic for 30 weeks, so I had better get onto that tomorrow!

25 weeks, 2 days

STILL haven't taken a belly pic! :( Okay wait, it's after midnight but I am fed up with keeping on forgetting! I am setting the camera timer and getting whatever I can for 25 weeks, and then I've DONE it!...

Wow, that only took a few MINUTES! I should do that every time. But it's not exactly a great photo, lol! Nicely framed, mama! ;)



So there is my 'Lijah baby belly for 25 weeks! :) My uterus is a fingerwidth above my tummy button, though I don't know what my actual bump measures. Usually a fingerwidth (cm) per week above the belly button (the 20 week mark) is normal, so I'm not sure why I am only measuring a fingerwidth above, but I think I look nice and pregnant for my stage, so I'm not too worried about it. Also I know I was "small" earlier in the pregnancy but he measured fine anyway, so that's good.

I'm loving the sweet baby inside! :) I talk to him when I have a quiet moment, or at night, whenever he kicks or wiggles about in there. He responds to me doing a gentle drum of my fingers in the same spot, by kicking there. He had hiccups for the first time a few nights ago! It was so clear and familiar to feel - I definitely haven't felt him have hiccups before then, although he may have had some at night while I was sleeping I suppose. When I woke up the next morning, the first thing I was aware of was MORE hiccups going on! :) How I love feeling baby kicks and hiccups!! It's so special! When I ask him how he's doing in there, I am finding that I mostly refer to him as "lil 'Lijah" - you know, like lil 'Liza Jane?! ;) It's just what comes out. And it makes me MUSH inside to say it, so I am guessing it's going to stick as a nickname, for me anyway. My little 'Lijah. *sigh* I love him so much already.

I am currently looking forward to his birth so much, but I know that I will start to feel slightly less thrilled about the prospect near the end of my pregnancy! It's an ordeal for sure, but I am SO eager to meet this sweet little manny, and I know that's the precious moment when I'll first lay eyes and hands on him! I can't wait for that part! :)

I am still queasy, but for the past 4-ish days I haven't noticed any queasiness! I felt sure that it was definitely going this time, because (unlike last time I thought it was gone), I keep finding myself chewing my fingernails, which I am absolutely unable to do from the start of morning sickness onwards, until it's WELL and truly cleared up. So now I am chewing my fingers up, yay! ;) Shame about that, but oh well! Today though, I feel sick again, and I'm struggling with the habit of chewing my fingers, but feeling really yucky when I do. So I guess it's not gone yet! :S Still manageable though, so I can't complain!

I am in quite a lot of pain in my pelvis now, especially at the back on my right side, and my hips in general. I'm not over-doing it at all really, but I have been doing a lot more housework lately. This is GOOD, as I have always been next to useless at getting housework done, lol! I have a new routine which is actually working (gasp! faint!), which means that between breakfast, which I finish by about 8ish, and school (9.30ish), I have the table cleared and wiped, the bench and booster seat wiped down, the floor swept, the laundry sorted into loads, the tumble dryer load folded, the washing machine load transferred to the tumble dryer, a new load started in the washing machine, the dishwasher loaded and started, the boys changed (nappies) and dressed for the day, and I've washed, dressed and brushed my hair. Sounds like TONS, and for me it totally IS! But the more I repeat and repeat the routine day after day, the quicker it's becoming to do those things, and it seems quite easy now compared with a couple of weeks ago. And I don't feel "right" any more about leaving the kitchen with food stuck to some part of it, so I go back in and quickly clean it. All of which means, the house is actually looking so much better! And feeling nicer to be in! And I have another "school" area - the kitchen table!

But I am hurting! I don't hurt while I work, but about 30-60 minutes later, my pelvis starts to hurt - just aching with a sharp central point in the right side of the back of my pelvis. If I sit still for a few minutes, getting up is awful, and putting weight on the right leg as I walk can be unbearable for a moment as I get going. Once it's hurting like that, it doesn't really clear up for an hour or so (or several hours today), and it's harder to pick little ones up or get down on the floor to change a nappy and then up again, that sort of thing. And when it does fade off and feel better, if I do any MORE housework (not even anything much), like sweep the kitchen floor again after lunch (can you believe I - ME! - am actually routinely sweeping the kitchen floor 2-3 times a day?!!!!), then it comes back with a vengeance. I am slightly unnerved about this at 25 weeks, when I am going to get more prone to pelvic pain as the weeks go by, but I don't think there's anything to be done about it. I would like to exercise (I STILL don't do any!) but once I have pelvic pain it seems like any and all exercise makes it worse and worse, even going for a walk. So I'm not sure what to do about that. Swimming is gentle but not on the cards for me - not practical really. I might ask my doula what she thinks...

I MUST phone and make my next midwife appointment! It's at 28 weeks, but I have to book it. I think I have blood taken at 28 weeks? And anti-D if I were consenting to that, but I'm not. Otherwise just a general check-up.

Samuel is stirring an awful lot at the moment, and I should really be in bed sleeping, so I think I will cut this entry short and go to bed. At least I got one in there! ;) And a belly pic at last. I will try to get it in the gallery as well, and update again soon. All is well though - thanks for the comments on my last post, after my long gap! :)

16 weeks, 3 days - new belly pic

Back again. I guess I need to write here more at the moment.

I just put my belly pic in Sausage's belly gallery. The link is to the whole list of allll my babies' belly galleries (except Arthur's which is at the old pregnancy diary - must transfer a ton of posts over here sometime!), and Sausage's stuff is at the top. I'm really kind of concerned now, seeing the picture - it does show what I've been feeling, that I'm really not showing much for 16 weeks. I think I actually look smaller than I did at 11 weeks, but Neil pointed out that could be due to bloating at 11 weeks. But, that's typical for me in ALL my pregnancies and there's always a definite progression of growth from the 10/11 week belly pic, through the 14 week one, to the 16 week one. Each one is always bigger than the previous one. All my 16 week belly pics from my other pregnancies are bigger than I currently am - especially Benjamin's! I missed a photo that week with Samuel... And Nathan's 16 week picture is probably the smallest of the bunch, but still there is growth through from 10 weeks that I am not showing this time.

I am probably (maybe) blowing everything out of proportion, but I am just SO. WORRIED. :( I am trying not to dwell on it, but failing miserably. It really isn't helping that I am having the weirdest hormones these past two weeks - more so the past week maybe. I just feel adolescent and weird and unhappy. Very HORMONAL though, not unhappy in another sense. It's hard to shake off, and I am very sensitive to everything, and much more so since Thursday.

I feel like I have had bad news about the baby, that's sort of how I seem to have internalised it, even though that's stupid because I HAVEN'T, and I'm jumping the gun.... But I do. I feel anxious and unhappy, and completely unmotivated to do anything at all. I am wearing some nice cosy PJs in the belly pic, which I put on to go to bed on Thursday evening and am still wearing. I just feel in such a slump, and the big boys are being so horrid and difficult, and I'm being all weird and feeling like they're picking on me instead of being a grown-up and dealing with it. They make me want to run upstairs and cry, and I just have zero motivation to do anything with the boys at all these last couple of days. I feel such a horrible mother :( I know I'm not REALLY, but that kind of head knowledge isn't really sinking in at the moment. Right at this moment I am not particularly being a GOOD mother, which is sad. The boys are watching DVDs and playing happily for the most part. And otherwise giving me a lot of trouble (attitudes and disobeying and acting deaf and the usual kid stuff) - I am just dealing with it soooo badly, emotionally.

Ugh.

Anyway. I have had some advice here and there from people who have BTDT, and some have been wrong about their dates (I know I'm not), and others have ended up with 2nd trimester miscarriages. Yep. Often the first sign of a chromosomal abnormality that hasn't already ended in an early miscarriage, is restricted growth in the 2nd trimester or beyond. Those are the types of abnormalities that aren't compatible with life. OR maybe everything is fine and I have a little baby in there? Or some other reason that I can't actually find at the moment? One lady is currently pregnant (33 weeks I think) and her baby has been diagnosed with Intra Uterine Growth Restriction since 18 weeks, and they've found no reason so far. They are continuing to monitor the baby until birth, so I don't know the outcome on that one. Another lady's uterus was retro-flexed at this kind of stage and as it got bigger it caught up FAST in the "showing" department!

I don't know about those things for me, because it's my 6th pregnancy and I find it hard to believe my uterus could go flexing differently than it ever has before after all this time, to the point where I look less pregnant than I should (when I NEVER do at any stage of any of my pregnancies). Some folks are saying (sweetly, to reassure!), maybe it's a girl this time?! And maybe it is! But I should still measure 16 weeks when I'm 16 weeks, surely? I just can't think of a good explanation. None of them seem to hold water for me.

Soooo Neil and I have had some discussions. He feels sure the baby is fine, well, he did until he saw my belly gallery with the new picture up, and now he is praying with me that all is well. He saw Benjamin's 16 week picture and said, "THAT'S 16 weeks?!.... Oh."

We have decided that Heather will accompany me to the scan on Tuesday, and he will be off work that day (he has finished some work ahead of time, and they are really good about him taking off for appointments and such) and stay home with all 5 boys. I actually really WANT Heather with me, although I would ideally have both of them if I could. I feel scared. I hope I am wrong, and everything turns out to be fine and dandy (and it COULD!). But I am scared until I know.

If something is wrong with the baby, I know what I would choose, when they start discussing options with me, and Neil says it's my body and I'm the one carrying the baby, and he would want me to make the decisions at the time if I am happy to. I told him they might offer me an amniocentesis to diagnose a chromosomal problem if it's a possibility, and that I would decline. I don't want the small risk of miscarriage. I don't want anything invasive, even if it would give us answers. It would be helpful to KNOW but it wouldn't change anything other than that. If our baby has a problem that means it may die at any point during the pregnancy, be stillborn, or die shortly after birth, I would not, and will never terminate a pregnancy. I just can't play God. As unbearable as it must be to carry it out, I would choose to continue the pregnancy until God decided to take the baby home. If I was blessed with a few minutes or hours with my baby in my arms before that point, I would be forever grateful and so very glad not to have chosen an alternative earlier on. I don't know how anyone bears that though...

So Neil is happy with those choices - they would be his too. I think that's all I need to have covered with him before going to the scan. He doesn't like the name Rachel, but if it's a girl and she will not live, I NEED to call her Rachel. I haven't asked him yet because I will cry if I do, and I can't be on with that right now. But if it does all come to that, I hope he will be happy to let me.

Now that we're all prepared, I should put it out of my head and just wait for Tuesday, where hopefully all will be well! :) It's harder than I thought, though.

I phoned Heather today to tell her I would like her to come with me to the scan instead of babysitting some of the boys, and she is happy to do whatever we want her to. She asked how I was doing, and I said I was having trouble putting one foot in front of the other mentally and emotionally, but physically I am fine. I think it is mainly hormones - bad timing for those at this particular time, hey?! :) I told her the same as I wrote here, that it just feels like I have received bad news about the baby, when I haven't yet, and it's hard to see straight about Tuesday. She reminded me to focus on the Lord, and that is the best advice really.

I was calling her upstairs because we are saying nothing to the boys, obviously, except that I am having a scan on Tuesday (they knew I wasn't due one until January) just to check the baby and see how big he or she is. They know Heather is going with me and that Daddy is home with them that day, and that I might get to see whether the baby is a boy or a girl. Maybe! As soon as I put the phone down, I sat in the quiet and wondered what to say to God. I told him that I hope my baby is okay. And that I was scared to ask Him to make the baby be okay if he/she wasn't going to be. But that I trusted Him. Then I remembered something from a song we sing at church called "Blessed be the name of the Lord":

He gives and takes away, He gives and takes away. My heart will choose to say, "Lord, blessed be Your name!" Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be Your name. Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be Your glorious name!

So I found myself praising Him for GIVING, for giving me this child. And accepting if He takes this child away. And crying and crying my heart out. And telling Him that I will praise His name all the same because He is just WORTHY of it, no matter what happens, or what He in his perfect wisdom decides is part of our journey. I am pretty sure that if He "takes away" this time, it is not going to be easy at ALL to CHOOSE to bless His name all the time, but I sure as heck am going to put my best foot forward. I love Him. I trust Him. I cling to Him because apart from Him there is no other, and (oh this is from another wonderful song!) why would I turn my back on the only shelter I have from the storm? And anyway, He is always worthy of my praise.

So now I think I should be "done" with the what-ifs and the emotional rollercoaster, and hopefully will just rest more peacefully about it until Tuesday. I hope, I hope, I hope. I don't like uncertainty! I hope my hormones will come about and I will feel lighter and cope generally better than I have been for a while. That will help TONS.

I am sure I will post again soon. Neil has a heavy cold this weekend which I guess he picked up at work. I'm desperately hoping the boys and I don't get it. I could do without the addition of a cold that hits me like a truck (as they tend to when I'm pregnant), and I think alllll our kiddies would not be clear of coldiness by Christmas which might mean we have to miss spending Christmas Day with my family (due to grandparents of somewhat frail health in their mid-80s!), and I would feel so so so distraught about that if it happened! I hope everything turns out okay this week...

Belly Gallery for Baby #6!

Here's my belly gallery for my 6th baby, currently known as Sausage! :)


6 weeks pregnant (excuse the yellow face, bad camera!)



11 weeks pregnant - showing! What is with the baaaad colour though?!

I missed 14 weeks! :( At 16 weeks I saw my consultant who thinks my uterus is not as big as 16 weeks (upcoming scan therefore). I am definitely not showing as much as I usually do at 16 weeks. Here is my 16 (and a half) week belly picture:



16 weeks and 3 days

Missed 18, 20, 22 AND 24 weeks! :( But here's a quickly-taken-with-the-timer photo of my bump (now known to be Elijah!) at 25 weeks:


25 weeks, 2 days



With all my little boys at exactly 28 weeks! :)



34 weeks (and 4 days)