15 weeks already!

I'm still here!! The weeks have been passing by and I keep thinking how I MUST update my pregnancy blog, but just never getting round to it! I find that I consistently stay up CRAZY late whenever I use the laptop, and my willpower is zilch apparently, so 2 weeks ago I prayerfully made the decision not to switch my laptop on at all on weekday evenings, in general. One or two evenings, I did, and then I was up too late again. When I am not switching on the laptop, I prepare school things, I read stuff that REALLY needs reading that I am not getting time to read, I spend time with God and read the Bible, and I go to bed by 10.30 or 11pm. HOURS earlier than otherwise (yes, hours - I know that's awful of me!). At the weekend I do use the laptop in the evening, and still do on occasional weekday evenings (such as this one, but it's after midnight already, so proof again!). Neil's computer is on in the kitchen all day because he's working from home (or learning to, so far), so on rare occasions when he nips to the toilet or something, I jump on and have a flashby glance at Facebook and maybe update my status there or something! Or check my email quickly! ;) That's it though. So, even LESS time to update my blogs than usual, hence the bigger gap than usual.

So just a quick update so there's SOMETHING written between 12 weeks and ohhh, 20 weeks, haha! ;)

Still not feeling the baby move very much at all - JUST like Benjamin. I was sure I felt him move for the first time very early like the others, and felt him a few times over that first week, but then very little until 16 weeks. This baby is the same. I have DEFINITELY felt the baby move from - what was it?? About 11 weeks? I can't remember, already! My brain is such fluff these days. Anyway, earlier. I have had the odd poke (literally one single poke! Or two. Very measured and dainty too, hehe!) or shifty sensation maybe once or twice a week, and that's how it is still going. Except that I have probably felt some slight movement about once a day for a few days now, so that's already changing. At 14 weeks I got all worried suddenly and whipped out my doppler. Happy baby found straight away about an inch or so below my tummy button, with a heart rate of 147, so that's okay then! :) There's not much in the way of "bumph!", "whomp!" or "zoink" sounds on the doppler of a vigorous little person thrashing away in there, like my first three babies, hehe! Sometimes the heartbeat disappeared so I knew the baby had moved, but in a sort of gentle synchronised swimming sort of way I suppose, because there was not hefty shove with a foot to aid any motion! There was the odd little blip sound which was a little bit of movement, and I did find the umbilical cord pulse too, which was fun! :) Benjamin was very much this way in the womb, and on doppler too. Also it's funny how similar this baby was at the 12 week scan to Benjamin - even resting casually with his head on the placenta like a pillow in exactly the same way that Benjamin did! ;)

I posted the scan pictures at In-Gender to see what the "experts" thought of the baby's nub angle, and had 16 boy votes, 2 "50/50 - it could go either way" votes, and 2 "leaning girl..." votes. Interesting. But I do still presume it's a boy until proven otherwise! ;)

Heather (my lovely doula!) came round last week (13w6d) in the evening to do the official initial meeting. We chatted, laughed and generally caught up. Oh it was lovely to see her again! I have missed her! She joked that she knows she has been promising to pop round to see us since Benjamin was born, but she can see that because she hasn't got round to it, we've obviously decided the only way to get her round here is to have another baby, hehe! ;) We signed the contract and paid her the deposit, so wheeeeeeee, I feel wonderful that she's officially BOOKED and totally ours for the keeping when the baby is born (barring unforseen circumstances, obviously)!! Yayness! :)

I have my 16 week midwife appointment (!!!!) on Friday this week. It's a few days early - I'll be 15w4d. I can't believe how fast it is going! I will have to re-re-re-remind them (sigh) that no, I will NOT be having the anti-D injection like they informed me in writing recently (after I made sure they wrote in my notes that I don't have them because Neil is also rhesus negative!)!!! Aaaargh! This is the THIRD pregnancy of constantly saying NO and explaining myself over and over and over. I suppose it's out of the ordinary of me to decline, so I will probably just have to get used to declining and explaining.

I have a consultant appointment on July 15th to discuss my "high risks" - oh, what FUN! ;) Wonderful Heather is coming with me, and I'm so relieved! She has not come across anything substantial to prove that risk of haemmorhage is increased from birth number 5 onwards. She HAS found small studies that indicate the opposite, and we were talking about it and saying that it doesn't really make sense that a strong muscle would get worn out and over-wrought to the point of failing to contract and letting huge-o bleeding occur, with repeated use! I mean, if it does, it's the only muscle in the human body that doesn't IMPROVE strength, tone and ability with repeated use!! So, I don't buy it, especially if there's no research to back it up. She suggested that if the consultant tells me I am more likely to bleed heavily because I am having my 5th baby, I should ask him to point me towards the research to back that up. She doesn't think he will be able to come up with any, but if he does, it will be important reading, so either way it's good advice I think. Group B Strep is just Group B Strep, as last time. I will have the test, but I presume I am positive again, or will be at the time of the test. If it's negative, HOORAH!! But in the meantime, I will be praying and preparing to make a decision over whether to give birth at home again with no antibiotics, or have a hospital birth. I am leaning towards exactly the same choice as last time, but I am not particularly set on anything, so it's a much easier decision making process than if I was DETERMINED to have a homebirth or something!

I am STILL feeling sick! But I really really do think it's fading off now. At 13 and 14 weeks, morning sickness was undoubtedly still there, but manageable, and less intense and constant than the awful fortnight that is 6-and-7-weeks. These last few days I have been just mildly queasy, with a few non-queasy blocks of time thrown in, and a few more yeurghy queasy moments thrown in. I am eating with ease and back to cooking without too much greenness, and can wipe little faces after meals without wanting to hurl! ;) Pooey nappies also aren't phasing me, so I do think it's on the way out. I'm wary to call it that for sure because of that weird time at 9-10 weeks when I had NO morning sickness, at it had faded off just as though it was really clearing up, only to come back with a vengeance! But I do think it's going. I think it's funny if it clears up officially at 15 weeks though, because of the pattern of my pregnancies so far:

#1: Stopped at 18 weeks
#2: Stopped at 12 weeks
#3: Stopped at 16 weeks
#4: Stopped at 14 weeks

It's sort of back-and-forth-ing to a centre point, which would be 15 weeks, and how funny if it actually does stop at 15 weeks this pregnancy to complete the pattern! ;)

The top of my uterus is only an inch or so below my tummy button sometimes (but other times it's about halfway between my pubic bone and my tummy button - it varies!). I have a definite bump that's noticable now, but I forgot to do a 14 week belly picture! :( So I think I will have to miss that one out and just do the 16 week picture when it comes time to next week. Oh well. I have found "Box 2 of 3" and "Box 3 of 3" of my maternity clothes in the loft, but where on earth is "Box 1 of 3"?!! It's frustrating me that I can't find it, because "Box 2 of 3" is mostly heavy jumpers and wintery stuff (I left that in the loft for now), and "Box 3 of 3" is mostly summer tops and dresses (hooray!), but only 1 pair of jeans, 1 pair of comfy trousers (too warm for this weather though), and a couple of VERY LARGE pairs of shorts that I lived in when enormously pregnant last summer! So basically, NOTHING fits me! I am in that stage where non-maternity jeans are really uncomfy on the waist, and maternity jeans are hugely baggy and if I try wearing them, they require me to constantly yank them up by the waistband, which is annoying! I'm sure they don't look too flattering either! I hope my little baby has a growth spurt soon, because I need to fill out my only maternity "bottoms", or else have absolutely nothing to wear on my lower half for another few weeks! :S I really want to find the other box of maternity clothes, but actually now I think of it, it's probably got all the jeans that will be too SMALL for me (hips-and-thighs-wise), so it won't help much anyway. It feels crazy to me to need to actually shop for maternity clothes with the huge maternity wardrobe that I already have, and four pregnancies already! But I do need some clothes that will fit me, especially cool clothes for the summer. Anyway! At least I have tops! I am currently squeeezing into non-maternity jeans which pinch my growing tummy (the overflow of which hangs attractively over the too-tight waistband!), and covering the embarrassing spectacle with a nice long maternity top! ;) So it's working-ish for now, but I really can't wear non-maternity jeans for much longer...

I am STILL sleeping on my tummy! Now, I haven't checked my diary to be sure, but it feels like I had to stop doing that WEEKS before in my previous pregnancies. There's a little pressure but it's still comfy and by FAR my easiest position to be able to fall asleep in when my legs are restless (which they have been driving me CRAZY with most nights lately, ugh!). I'm not looking forward to having to stop doing that, but I think it will be this week. Depending on where the baby is positioned, sometimes in the last couple of days it has HURT to lie on my tummy and I have not been able to do it even for a millisecond.

I can feel the baby very clearly now when it is up at the front of my womb. Sometimes the little back or side is along my tummy and I can feel the length of the baby. It is 10cm long at 15 weeks, from head to bottom - with legs added to that! I can also feel VERY clearly when the little head is anywhere against my abdomen. Sometimes it's at the end of the back or side when I can feel that, and other times there's no other parts of the baby to feel except a round (about 1.5 inches across) very very HARD lump sticking out there! ;) I remember this so well from my previous pregnancies. One good thing about my tummy still being somewhat baggy and slack (!!) from 4 back-to-back recent pregnancies is that it is all the more clear to feel obvious parts of such a teeny tiny little baby! I adore being able to feel my baby, especially things like knowing what I'm rubbing is a little head. Aww! :)

I'm lying on my tummy on the living room floor with my laptop right now, and it's mostly comfy - I'm not having to change position. And I just had a little gentle blip of a poke (or even a light kick maybe?!) - just the one, but how EXCITED I am to be feeling kicks and wiggles all the time! I just love this part of pregnancy! :)

I'm just trying to think what else before I finish this and go to bed... Oh thank you for the reminder (I can't remember off the top of my head who said it!) about finishing Benjamin's birth story! I haven't written any more the past few weeks, but I am up to 6.30pm (he was born at 7.30pm), and Heather has asked if I might finish writing it soon because it will be helpful for her to read it. So I WILL get it finished soon(ish?!) - I hope! I promise it won't get forgotten for much longer! As SOON as it's finished I will post it here.

Oh! I am still not wanting anything salty this pregnancy. At all. I do eat Marmite still, which is very salty, and to be honest it's actually too salty for me sometimes, but I am a lifelong Marmite-aholic and love the taste, so I am reluctant to give that one up even when I find it too salty, haha! ;) I have not eaten crisps for my whole pregnancy! Crisps were always a go-to food in my other pregnancies, just as a filler when ravenous, or an aid for nausea sometimes. I occasionally try one but I actually have to spit it out because it's like eating a spoonful of raw salt, seriously. I can't do it! I have the same issue with any especially salty food. Definitely a first for me. I am eating eggs quite a bit but MUCH less now that I'm supplementing with the Omega-3 capsules. I don't seem to want them as much, or the salmon. But even a plain boiled egg tastes like it has salt sprinkled over it when I eat it! It's salt free, an egg, isn't it?! But unsalted things even taste salty to me sometimes.

What DO I like to eat right now?... I can't think. Not crazy about chocolate and biscuits and the like, but they do still go down very nicely if they're about and I sample some! ;) MUST eat better this pregnancy though! I do like fruit, in general, and feel like "fresh" foods that are juicy or sweet-ish. I am eating cheese fine, but it's rather salty tasting. I just can't think of anything I'm particularly WANTING or eating eagerly right now. Maybe there's nothing yet?! I have still been queasy I suppose, so perhaps that will come soon.

Okay, I MUST go to bed! As always, there's sure to be plenty I've missed, but I will have to leave it at this for now. At least I got much more written than I expected, but the cost is that it's now reeeeally late. No laptop for me till the end of the week! I'll hopefully update about my midwife appt soon, and I really want to update my main blog the next chance I get too. Soooo much to write there!

Thanks for the comments last entry! When I (ever?!) get time I am going to change my comments to one of those "type the word you see in the box" doo-dahs, because I get spam on every. single. post now, and I'm fed up with having to go and delete it all the time! But, another time! :)

Been for my scan! :)

I'm back from my scan, and have just put Benjamin down for a late afternoon nap. I should be dashing back downstairs to the other boys in a minute so this will have to be quick! I am writing this bit to save until I get to post the scan pictures with it a bit later. Then I'll post the whole entry - hopefully soon! :)

The scan went fine! We were nearly late because getting all the boys out of the door and dropping Arthur off ran a little later than expected, but thankfully parking was straightforward. I hadn't even checked in (was still in the queue!) when the sonographer called my name! I was panicking because I hadn't therefore paid and got a little ticket to allow me to get some scan pictures, but they said not to worry and that I could pay afterwards (it's £3 for a couple of pictures at my hospital).

They almost didn't allow the boys to come in the room, saying they would need to concentrate and small children would distract them, and that they DID ask people not to bring little ones, etc. *sigh* We said we were sorry but we couldn't do anything about it as we couldn't get child care for them - our eldest was being looked after but that's the best we could do. They said that the hospital would be changing its policy soon and not allow them in the scan room even if they were in the waiting room! That would mean Neil would have to sit out with them and miss the scan! :(

Anyway, they let us all in. The boys were AS GOOD AS GOLD!! I was so proud of them! And afterwards, the same lady came and complimented me on how well behaved they were, and said I shouldn't worry about bringing them to the anomoly scan, even though the sonographer would need to concentrate even more, because they were so good! :) However, we WILL be trying to find someone to look after them for us while we attend that scan! It's longer and more fiddly, and we really want to be able to relax and see our little one properly. The lady was great and told the receptionist to book us into room 1 for the next scan, because it's the biggest room and we'll have the most space to accommodate our tandem pushchair! :) I'm glad/proud that the boys were so good that they completely turned around her attitude towards them being present! :)

Soooo, the scan!!

We have ONE healthy-looking baby in there! :) No twins, which I was expecting at this stage because I am the same size as the other pregnancies. Also this morning I had a quick listen with the doppler for reassurance, and heard one very clear heartbeat. I searched all over at all angles and didn't find another, so I was more sure than ever that there was only one baby in there.

We saw our sweet little peanut looking very relaxed in there. Cornflake was lying face down with little legs curled underneath the tummy at first - so sweet! :) We saw the various little body parts - legs stretching lazily now and then, and arms occasionally lifting up near the head, but otherwise relaxed. The sonographer was a trainee, with the lady I mentioned above as the supervisor. The trainee scared me a bit at first. I declined the nuchal test for Down Syndrome, and they weren't too happy about that, but I insisted. Then the trainee started the scan, and kept looking at the same view over and over. She seemed nervous. Then she looked at me and said, "If I see something, do you want me to let you know?" and I said, "Yes please!" not really knowing what she meant. Her eyes looked back to the screen but her mouth was all grimacing and nervous for a moment, and SUDDENLY I had a panic that she had seen something wrong with the baby and was asking me if I wanted to know. I strained my eyes at the image of the baby, desperate to see the heart beating, but I couldn't see it - I guess it was the angle of the scan at that moment. And for a moment I panicked inside, and prayed desperately that God would let the baby be okay, and be alive. I couldn't tell if it was moving or just still, because it didn't look like it was moving, and the scan was whizzing around a bit so it was hard to tell. In the end, the baby was fine! But I guess she meant did I want to have her tell me when she had a good view of the stomach or something, to show me? I don't know. But phew, anyway! :)

Cornflake measures 2 days ahead, so they have changed my due date to December 11th, and made me 12 weeks and 5 days pregnant today, which I like! :) I am still not sure whether to take that on though, because I KNOW my dates, whatever the baby is measuring, and I don't really want to have a couple of extra days where I feel like I'm past my due date and waiting to go into labour, when I haven't actually reached it yet! ;) So I will think on that. I DO like being 2 days closer to 13 weeks though, for now! :)

We did indeed get an EXCELLENT nub shot, right at the end! :) The nub shot doesn't quite show it exactly as I saw it during the scan though. My eyes were pretty well trained to spot it fairly early on, and every chance I got, I watched out for it. Several times they froze the picture to make a measurement and I could see the angle very clearly. The shot they took for me to take home at the end shows a slightly different angle to the one I was more clearly seeing throughout the scan. This baby is pretty much 95% (according to moi, lol!) a BOY! :) The angle of that little dangle was between 30 and 40 degrees the whole time, but the actual picture that I'll show you in a moment shows it more like 30 or just less. Between 10 and 30 degrees is "inconclusive", as far as telling the gender at this stage. But there was a significant angle - not like Benjamin's was, but significant. DEFINITELY greater than 30 degrees, which means (with about 97% accuracy or something) a boy. It's easier to mis-assign GIRL gender to a boy with the nub, than the other way around. Boy angles can occasionally be quite low, but girl angles are NEVER greater than 30 degrees. This baby's angle is definitely 30 degrees plus, so I would say almost for absolute certain that we are having our FIFTH boy!!! I won't announce as much at Facebook I don't think, because I'd rather wait till the big scan to confirm it, but I can say here that I'm pretty sure, and will definitely continue calling Cornflake "he"! ;)

There are other things to note - he measured 63.2mm long, and there was also a moment of "between-the-legs-ness" where I saw obvious boy bits. I know that shot is less accurate at this stage, but I have seen CLEAR boy bits for 2 of my boys with that shot (Arthur and Benjamin) and I know what I'm seeing! ;) Neil said straight away that he looks different to the others, and I know what he means but can't put my finger on it. His nose looks a little higher to me, but we really didn't get a good crisp image as she had it quite magnified all the time, so it was fuzzy.

Anyway, a good scan! He lay on his back for the latter part, and stretched his legs about now and then, and opened and closed his hands in front of his face. He was lying on his placenta, and looked remarkably like Benjamin did - all laid back on a pillow of a placenta! - at his scan!

Boys are causing trouble downstairs so I must quickly post pics and get this posted! The scanner seems broken so I have had to take a photo of the pictures. Hope they turn out okay! We got 4 pictures, but the first two have a nice loop of my (apparently not empty!) bowel in front of the baby's legs! So here are the OTHER two! ;) First one is more magnified - how we saw the whole scan. The second one is the GREAT nub shot - don't need to explain where it is for you even! :) Look at his little hand opened wide (fingers bent at the tops, thumb scooping across the palm area!) - so sweet! :) And such tiny feeties!





Back soon to write more details as I remember them - I'm sure there was more I wanted to add! But I MUST go downstairs now!

12 weeks, 2 days - scan tomorrow!!!! :D

Just a quick post (it's late AGAIN!) to jump about excitedly that it's my SCAN tomorrow!!!! I can't wait to see my tiny one (something is seriously UP that I just typed "pony" instead of one?!?! Haha! I must be tiiiired!!) for the very first time! I usually get slightly nervous at the last minute that for whatever reason the baby will have died RIGHT before the scan - I know, I should never think like that, but it's just what pops into my brain at the last minute, you know? Anyway, for that reason I like to reassure myself with the doppler as last minute as possible. Especially this time, since we'll have a room-full of small children at the scan!

I did manage to organise Arthur's half-term club. We'll be dropping him off half an hour early, which is great! Hopefully we'll have enough time to turn around, drive the short distance back to the hospital, find a parking space (the BIG hurdle!) and get all the little ones out and into the maternity unit in the 20 minutes after dropping him off.

My scan is at 1.50pm, and I will update as soon as I can afterwards, but it still might not be till late afternoon or even early evening. What I want to do is update HERE before saying a thing at Facebook. I reckon blog readers are a bit more deserving of an update to something exciting before Facebook! ;) Plus I want to keep this blog going!!! It's so easy to post quickly at Facebook and then it's old news at my blog to most of my readers, who might already have done their commenting at Facebook. Come here for news tomorrow!!! :D I will, of course, be updating at Facebook later in the evening, so you could just wait till later for an update there - or not even see this last minute post and thus not check here anyway! ;) But I'll be updating here first, Facebook late evening before bed probably. I will be ITCHING to update at Facebook as soon as I'm home, but I do so want to keep SOME things special for my blog so that people might come here to get news instead of Facebook! :)

Nothing much more to add, except YAY, I'm in the 2nd trimester! And still feeling sick, but oh well. Still wanting eggs (soft boiled is what I'm LONGING for! :S ) and salmon a lot, and have started on prenatal omega 3 capsules daily. Peeing pregnantly, and dizzy quite a bit, but not too bad. Definitely starting to show now (please check my new belly gallery (link on the side) if you didn't see my last post - I have belly pics up! I think I'm bigger at 11 weeks than I was in my other pregnancies, but only a touch).

Benjamin is stirring and I need to go to bed, so I will be back tomorrow! :)