Just to update and say that NOW I have ovulated! Of course FF has changed their completely wrong date to an appropriate one, and I'm now 4 days past ovulation. I didn't ovulate this cycle until Cycle Day FORTY!!! Yikers!
My last cycle had a luteal phase of 6 days, so I would maybe expect to improve that by a couple of days at best this cycle? I can't remember how quickly it lengthened after previous babies, and should just go and check my charts, but it's late and I must go to bed! We have a very good chance of conception this cycle (parsnips 2 days before ovulation), and I tend to presume that conception has occurred (as in, sperm meets egg) if there's a good chance, going by our history. The only thing is that it's unlikely that my body is ready to sustain it because of my short luteal phase, as usual when my cycles are returning to normal.
Right now my temps are climbing nicely. I am unusually tired and weepy over things like noise from the kiddies, but that doesn't mean much. Nothing else of note, and I am just waiting to see how long my luteal phase will be this time. I so HOPE it would be long enough to sustain what might have begun, but I know it's very unlikely! Ah well! It's good to have more time, and I know God's timing is perfect anyway!
That is all for now! Wow, a GENUINELY quick post (gasp!)! ;) I will be back soon though!
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
No, I haven't ovulated!
So, Fertility Friend says I have ovulated four days ago, but it knows nothing! ;) I'm currently on Cycle Day FORTY or something near that mark! Crazy late for me, except not this time PP somehow. Hope that's not ominous (eg. early menopause or anything like that! :S )! I am still ovulating, just late, and then my LP is still really short.
I *think* I am ovulating today, but time will tell. I have had EWCM for a good few days, and today I have what my dim memory recalls as ovulation pain - BUT I might be wrong, so I will just have to wait and see. I am temping now so I can tell for sure, and my temps are still low right now.
Now I am really starting to get the anticipated baby fever! ;) Funny how it's not seriously there at 6 or 7 months PP, but always always kicks in somewhere after the 8 month mark! I have the sweetest, most darling little baby on my lap (albeit fidgetty and slightly cranky due to both naps being ended early by NOISY brothers who were busy not obeying Mummy!), who I would LOVE to bless with a baby brother or sister. Oh how I would love to see him become a big brother!! :)
The feeling of one missing is getting stronger and stronger all the time. Neil seems fine about one more, if a little, "Are we CRAZY?!?!" at times! ;) I know God may say no. I am doing a lot of praying about it right now. Like I said last entry, more time would be easier, but the other day I was thinking and praying about it... There's just no way that I want to turn down the potential for more children even for a short time, when I have so few years left before this season will be over. It will come in the blink of an eye, I know it. I KNOW that if God is pleased to bless us again with a baby sooner than later, He absolutely will enable me, even if things are hard for a while. I am never going to look back at the end of my life and wish that I had had fewer children because we had "too many" in a small house, or not enough money to be at ease financially, or because I felt overwhelmed and exhausted most days for a year or two. Those things are just piffle in the grand scheme of things - BIG at the time, yes, but when I have my perspective in order many years later, and can look back, the trials over it will see trifling and the children we have around us as a result (and their relationships with each other) will be utterly utterly, can't-even-describe-how-much worth it. So bring it on, please Lord! :) I love love love having a large family, as mine is now becoming! It's a treasure more than anything I could imagine when I only had a couple of kiddies. I'm so blessed, and excited about the possibility of more little blessings!
I *think* I am ovulating today, but time will tell. I have had EWCM for a good few days, and today I have what my dim memory recalls as ovulation pain - BUT I might be wrong, so I will just have to wait and see. I am temping now so I can tell for sure, and my temps are still low right now.
Now I am really starting to get the anticipated baby fever! ;) Funny how it's not seriously there at 6 or 7 months PP, but always always kicks in somewhere after the 8 month mark! I have the sweetest, most darling little baby on my lap (albeit fidgetty and slightly cranky due to both naps being ended early by NOISY brothers who were busy not obeying Mummy!), who I would LOVE to bless with a baby brother or sister. Oh how I would love to see him become a big brother!! :)
The feeling of one missing is getting stronger and stronger all the time. Neil seems fine about one more, if a little, "Are we CRAZY?!?!" at times! ;) I know God may say no. I am doing a lot of praying about it right now. Like I said last entry, more time would be easier, but the other day I was thinking and praying about it... There's just no way that I want to turn down the potential for more children even for a short time, when I have so few years left before this season will be over. It will come in the blink of an eye, I know it. I KNOW that if God is pleased to bless us again with a baby sooner than later, He absolutely will enable me, even if things are hard for a while. I am never going to look back at the end of my life and wish that I had had fewer children because we had "too many" in a small house, or not enough money to be at ease financially, or because I felt overwhelmed and exhausted most days for a year or two. Those things are just piffle in the grand scheme of things - BIG at the time, yes, but when I have my perspective in order many years later, and can look back, the trials over it will see trifling and the children we have around us as a result (and their relationships with each other) will be utterly utterly, can't-even-describe-how-much worth it. So bring it on, please Lord! :) I love love love having a large family, as mine is now becoming! It's a treasure more than anything I could imagine when I only had a couple of kiddies. I'm so blessed, and excited about the possibility of more little blessings!
Sunday, August 21, 2011
CD30 - thoughts and kidney stones...
Sooo, my urine infection that I wrote about last entry was not a urine infection after all. Turned out to be a kidney stone, and the three weeks that followed my entry was pretty dreadful. MUCH more bleeding, and finally excruciating pain and an ambulance trip to the hospital, where I stayed overnight to get my pain under control following diagnosis of a kidney stone with an X-ray. I sort of existed for two weeks as they did nothing about it, just sent me home with the strongest painkillers I could take whilst breastfeeding (it would take something far worse than a kidney stone to stop me breastfeeding!), and Neil had to use up two weeks of holiday time to look after the boys for me. Finally had the stone blasted with shock waves (lithotripsy) and it worked, hooray! It took me a week or so to recover physically all the same, and I am not convinced about my kidney (which was in a bad way, being completely blocked by the stone and swollen up hugely with urine) even now, as I am still having mild pain there...
ANYWAY! So glad to be past that! My temperature dropped the morning before I went into hospital (at 5DPO - still very short luteal phase), so I expected to get my period that day, but I didn't, and I still didn't the day I went into hospital either! I was so glad, because I really didn't need the complication of my period starting while I was unable to move at all due to pain in A&E for 5 hours! The next morning on the ward, the nurses changed my sheets and sent me to get washed in the adjoining bathroom (oh I was so nervous to move!), and THAT'S where I discovered my period had started. Good thing there were no beds on the urology ward, so I had been put on the gynae ward, lol! Plenty of sanitary wear there for someone who only remembered to take what she was wearing into the ambulance with her! ;)
Since then, I have paid the LEAST attention to my cycle that I've EVER paid to any of my cycles, hehe! I just have had no idea where I'm at in terms of Cycle Day, have completely ignored my CM, and have not even thought about temping. All I know is the date of my LMP because they kept asking me for it before I had X-rays to check on the kidney stone over the weeks. Recently I started to wonder where my period might be, and for that matter ovulation! It was beginning to feel like a while since I had had my period. So I went to my chart, updated my last cycle and started charting the last few days - I have no idea about earlier in this cycle, except that I think I had EWCM for a few days around CD14 (two weeks after my period started I think I was aware of that, and thought it was a bit early for me to ovulate yet or something), so I charted that to be aware of it. Haven't really noticed anything much since, so I presumed I haven't ovulated yet. When I checked my chart I found that I'm on Cycle Day THIRTY already!!! Wow, late ovulation! UNLESS I already did ovulate when I wasn't paying attention, and now I'm waiting for my period to start. I was so moody yesterday, enough for it to possibly be PMS... Anyway, I will have to wait and see. The only thing of note today is that I don't think I actually HAVE ovulated yet because I temped at last and got 35.6 (really low, and typical for a pre-ovulatory temp for me), and also I have had EWCM today! Maybe I'll actually ovulate in a few days? Who knows! My cycles are pretty wacky since Samuel, even though they started back earlier than ever. This time "last baby" (!), my cycles had been settling down for some months, and I had had a couple of chemical pregnancies (possibly three?) already, in a row. Samuel is 8 months old today. Benjamin was 8 months old when Samuel was conceived!
My body is NOT in the same place as it was last time, yet! ;) My ovulation is late every cycle, and my luteal phase is still really short. So I will wait and see how it goes.
I am juuuust beginning to get that feeling in my ovaries, lol! ;) That one where I feel hopeful and wistful about maybe getting pregnant again. Before 8 or 9 months, I want to have more babies, but the idea of doing so RIGHT NOW is kind of scary! I'm transitioning into the next stage! :) The other odd thing is that for the last couple of weeks I keep thinking a child is missing all the time. Not the "I knew that we were missing a child in our family..." thing that people say. I mean literally! I get Samuel down from a nap, and they're all playing on the living room floor and then I suddenly have a moment where I leap up panicking because, "Where's the baby?!" Not Samuel - I know he's there. I glance at the video monitor to the room he sleeps in and he's not there, so although I SEE him on the floor, something in me has a moment of, "Where's the baby?!!" Maybe it's because he's growing up - he started pulling to kneeling and then standing this week, and attempted to cruise at the bookshelf this morning. He's eating everything we eat, rocking on hands and knees, and army crawling everywhere at speed. He has no teeth, a head full of sweet blonde hair, and personality emerging left, right and centre. I LOVE HIM!!!
I sometimes do a quick mental count of the boys as they're rushing around in the house, and I get that, "Where's the other one?!!" feeling clutching at my throat again, even though I counted five, and I KNOW I have five children, not six. And you know when you mentally plan things out in a spare moment while you're doing some other task? Well I will be thinking something like, "If I use workboxes for the boys and colour-code them, I could start with red, orange, yellow and green because only four of them will be needing workboxes right now... Once all six of them are old enough, I can add blue and purple..." Spot the mistake! ;) I never do until the complete thought or phrase is out there, and then I think - SIX?! Where did that come from?!! ;)
This is all the stuff that happened when I had two, just Matthew and Arthur, and Matthew was about 7 or 8 months old. I kept referring to the boys as "all three of them" when thinking ahead to future events, or wondering where the baby was when I could see the two of them starting to play together more. I don't think it's a stage of development coincidence, because Matthew was crawling, cruising, etc, far earlier than Samuel. Anyway, I am filled with gladness at the possibility that it might mean that another child is meant for us! Neil had the same feelings as I do with the others (missing child, counting up and still feeling like one's missing, etc), and I haven't thought to ask him whether he's feeling the same again yet.
I just need a little more time to get my body in better condition - I need to start exercising regularly, and haven't been able to due to being set back with illness every few weeks since April (aaaaargh!!!) - no viruses for a good while now, but dang that kidney stone!!! ;) Also I need a little more time to establish homeschooling well this year, and iron out the creases (to make a HUGE understatement, lol!) of having two toddlers/pre-schoolers and a baby AS WELL as two children of school age who need to be doing proper homeschooling now. I'm trying to figure out a schedule for our days as well, and I need time to implement it all. So much so that I have actually prayed that God would allow us a little more time before blessing us with another baby. I WANT Him to! But just a LITTLE more time, that's all. If I get pregnant this cycle, I will rejoice so very very much! :) There's no "worse" option for me at all. A little more time would be a little more space to breathe, that's all. And I don't NEED that. So very glad to turn it all over to God and trust Him entirely! God is good, all the time! :D
Well, I'll try to update briefly (ha!) now and then to keep track of my cycles, especially since the months are passing by now and I'm getting near to the time when all my other babies were conceived (Matthew - 10 months postpartum after Arthur; Nathan - 11 months PP; Benjamin - 9 months PP; Samuel - 8 months PP). I am not even sure what my last luteal phase length was exactly (6 days??) or whether it should even be counted as that long, given that my temp had dropped down for the last two days of that time. Definitely not long enough to support a pregnancy even if conception was to occur. This cycle, who knows? Maybe another 6 day luteal phase? Maybe 7 or 8? Still not long enough, but I will keep track and keep this journal updated about it as I go along.
Thanks for reading, if you are! It's nice to have folks still follow along with my less-than-sane ramblings over my bodily functions, haha! ;) Back soon!
ANYWAY! So glad to be past that! My temperature dropped the morning before I went into hospital (at 5DPO - still very short luteal phase), so I expected to get my period that day, but I didn't, and I still didn't the day I went into hospital either! I was so glad, because I really didn't need the complication of my period starting while I was unable to move at all due to pain in A&E for 5 hours! The next morning on the ward, the nurses changed my sheets and sent me to get washed in the adjoining bathroom (oh I was so nervous to move!), and THAT'S where I discovered my period had started. Good thing there were no beds on the urology ward, so I had been put on the gynae ward, lol! Plenty of sanitary wear there for someone who only remembered to take what she was wearing into the ambulance with her! ;)
Since then, I have paid the LEAST attention to my cycle that I've EVER paid to any of my cycles, hehe! I just have had no idea where I'm at in terms of Cycle Day, have completely ignored my CM, and have not even thought about temping. All I know is the date of my LMP because they kept asking me for it before I had X-rays to check on the kidney stone over the weeks. Recently I started to wonder where my period might be, and for that matter ovulation! It was beginning to feel like a while since I had had my period. So I went to my chart, updated my last cycle and started charting the last few days - I have no idea about earlier in this cycle, except that I think I had EWCM for a few days around CD14 (two weeks after my period started I think I was aware of that, and thought it was a bit early for me to ovulate yet or something), so I charted that to be aware of it. Haven't really noticed anything much since, so I presumed I haven't ovulated yet. When I checked my chart I found that I'm on Cycle Day THIRTY already!!! Wow, late ovulation! UNLESS I already did ovulate when I wasn't paying attention, and now I'm waiting for my period to start. I was so moody yesterday, enough for it to possibly be PMS... Anyway, I will have to wait and see. The only thing of note today is that I don't think I actually HAVE ovulated yet because I temped at last and got 35.6 (really low, and typical for a pre-ovulatory temp for me), and also I have had EWCM today! Maybe I'll actually ovulate in a few days? Who knows! My cycles are pretty wacky since Samuel, even though they started back earlier than ever. This time "last baby" (!), my cycles had been settling down for some months, and I had had a couple of chemical pregnancies (possibly three?) already, in a row. Samuel is 8 months old today. Benjamin was 8 months old when Samuel was conceived!
My body is NOT in the same place as it was last time, yet! ;) My ovulation is late every cycle, and my luteal phase is still really short. So I will wait and see how it goes.
I am juuuust beginning to get that feeling in my ovaries, lol! ;) That one where I feel hopeful and wistful about maybe getting pregnant again. Before 8 or 9 months, I want to have more babies, but the idea of doing so RIGHT NOW is kind of scary! I'm transitioning into the next stage! :) The other odd thing is that for the last couple of weeks I keep thinking a child is missing all the time. Not the "I knew that we were missing a child in our family..." thing that people say. I mean literally! I get Samuel down from a nap, and they're all playing on the living room floor and then I suddenly have a moment where I leap up panicking because, "Where's the baby?!" Not Samuel - I know he's there. I glance at the video monitor to the room he sleeps in and he's not there, so although I SEE him on the floor, something in me has a moment of, "Where's the baby?!!" Maybe it's because he's growing up - he started pulling to kneeling and then standing this week, and attempted to cruise at the bookshelf this morning. He's eating everything we eat, rocking on hands and knees, and army crawling everywhere at speed. He has no teeth, a head full of sweet blonde hair, and personality emerging left, right and centre. I LOVE HIM!!!
I sometimes do a quick mental count of the boys as they're rushing around in the house, and I get that, "Where's the other one?!!" feeling clutching at my throat again, even though I counted five, and I KNOW I have five children, not six. And you know when you mentally plan things out in a spare moment while you're doing some other task? Well I will be thinking something like, "If I use workboxes for the boys and colour-code them, I could start with red, orange, yellow and green because only four of them will be needing workboxes right now... Once all six of them are old enough, I can add blue and purple..." Spot the mistake! ;) I never do until the complete thought or phrase is out there, and then I think - SIX?! Where did that come from?!! ;)
This is all the stuff that happened when I had two, just Matthew and Arthur, and Matthew was about 7 or 8 months old. I kept referring to the boys as "all three of them" when thinking ahead to future events, or wondering where the baby was when I could see the two of them starting to play together more. I don't think it's a stage of development coincidence, because Matthew was crawling, cruising, etc, far earlier than Samuel. Anyway, I am filled with gladness at the possibility that it might mean that another child is meant for us! Neil had the same feelings as I do with the others (missing child, counting up and still feeling like one's missing, etc), and I haven't thought to ask him whether he's feeling the same again yet.
I just need a little more time to get my body in better condition - I need to start exercising regularly, and haven't been able to due to being set back with illness every few weeks since April (aaaaargh!!!) - no viruses for a good while now, but dang that kidney stone!!! ;) Also I need a little more time to establish homeschooling well this year, and iron out the creases (to make a HUGE understatement, lol!) of having two toddlers/pre-schoolers and a baby AS WELL as two children of school age who need to be doing proper homeschooling now. I'm trying to figure out a schedule for our days as well, and I need time to implement it all. So much so that I have actually prayed that God would allow us a little more time before blessing us with another baby. I WANT Him to! But just a LITTLE more time, that's all. If I get pregnant this cycle, I will rejoice so very very much! :) There's no "worse" option for me at all. A little more time would be a little more space to breathe, that's all. And I don't NEED that. So very glad to turn it all over to God and trust Him entirely! God is good, all the time! :D
Well, I'll try to update briefly (ha!) now and then to keep track of my cycles, especially since the months are passing by now and I'm getting near to the time when all my other babies were conceived (Matthew - 10 months postpartum after Arthur; Nathan - 11 months PP; Benjamin - 9 months PP; Samuel - 8 months PP). I am not even sure what my last luteal phase length was exactly (6 days??) or whether it should even be counted as that long, given that my temp had dropped down for the last two days of that time. Definitely not long enough to support a pregnancy even if conception was to occur. This cycle, who knows? Maybe another 6 day luteal phase? Maybe 7 or 8? Still not long enough, but I will keep track and keep this journal updated about it as I go along.
Thanks for reading, if you are! It's nice to have folks still follow along with my less-than-sane ramblings over my bodily functions, haha! ;) Back soon!
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Random pregnancy test
Well I did not ovulate when I said I thought I was, last entry! It was very weird because I had all my classic ovulation signs, and even the very familiar ovulation pain at the end of it all. I started taking my temperature in the mornings right away and have managed to keep that up consistently, but all my temps since then have been my typical pre-ovulation temps, so I was pretty sure I hadn't ovulated.
I have somehow got myself a bit of a horrid urine infection at the moment. I woke up with blood in my urine on Saturday and became increasingly unwell-feeling and crampy with backache during the day, so by the evening I was worried enough about my kidneys (I have a history, and resulting scar tissue in my kidneys) to phone the out-of-hours doctor, who told me to go to the urgent care clinic at the hospital right away. My kidneys turned out to be okay (they are not painful when squished by a doctor, haha!) but they put me on a 3-day course of antibiotics. The doctor asked me when my last period was, and then asked if there was any chance I could be pregnant - I guess they ask just as a routine thing when it comes to prescribing medicine. So I said yes, as there was a teensy chance. He asked permission to do a pregnancy test so I said yes to that as well. I knew there was next to no chance of it being positive but ohhh, it's just inbuilt isn't it, lol! I had that slight adrenaliney joyful feeling sitting there waiting for the test to cook so he could tell me the result! :) He said the pregnancy test was negative, and added, "Which I guess is no bad thing!" given that I'd just told him I am breastfeeding a 6-month-old and have 4 other young children! ;) My grandparents saw us the next day and knew about my poor bladder, so asked worriedly about what the doctor had said and what tests he had done. I mentioned that he'd done a pregnancy test which was negative, and they made a big deal of it being wonderful news, and congratulations, etc! *sigh* Hey ho! I'm lately caring less and less what anyone else thinks, which is healthy and MUCH less stressful! :) Neil says if we have another baby, we are NOT telling my family until like the WEEK before the baby is born, hehe! They're not terribly bad about it, just not that happy at first, and we could do without that I guess.
Anyway, so the test was negative, of course. At the end when I was about to leave with the prescription, I hesitated and said, "And the pregnancy test was definitely negative, right?" Hehe! He gave me an amused smile and walked over to check it again, and held it up, saying, "Just one line!" I just said, "Right. Okay. Just checking!" :) Neil had been asking (pestering!) me to take a pregnancy test in the couple of days beforehand, because he thought I was giving off "pregnant vibes" - I was more irritable and moody in a hormonal way (apparently!), and felt a bit queasy and gaggy at things easily. I was crampy as well. I wonder now if that was just early signs of this UTI? Probably, as those are common symptoms (well, not the moodiness!).
So I am still waiting to ovulate. I think I am somewhere in the 30s in terms of my Cycle Day now. I have lately been having some EWCM again and so I think my body is gearing up for another "go" at ovulating. That seems to be common for me postpartum - I sometimes have a longer cycle where the first run-up to ovulation is fruitless, and then a bit later my body tries again and usually succeeds. Once it was 3 tries though, I think, before ovulation did occur - a VERY long cycle that time! Anyway, it's nice to be temping again, because I can know what my cycle is doing without wondering (and getting pestered to take pregnancy tests when I know I'm not pregnant yet!). I kept telling Neil that my temps were too low :) I think I should probably buy a cheapy pack of pregnancy tests though. Then I would have them ready for any time I really DO wonder in the future. I'll get around to that soon hopefully!
I still have my UTI, blah. STILL blood in my urine, and I hate that. It always bugs me to see blood where it shouldn't be! My sides ache like anything and that bothers me too, but I know how to squish my own kidneys and they aren't tender at all, so I guess it's bladder-related? I feel under the weather and tired and achy along with it. No fever though, thankfully. I finished my course of antibiotics yesterday, so when the symptoms were all still there today I went to the doctor. I had to take all the boys with me, and do a urine sample in one of those tiny 2cm diameter sample tubes (no funnel or anything useful like that!) in a public toilet at the doctor's surgery, with all 5 of my little ones around me! That was NOT fun! I did not have the pushchair with me and really had not thought it out well, as Samuel was in my arms! Thankfully the toilet had a fold-down baby changing mat in the wall next to the toilet, and I lay Samuel in that (it was sort of hammocky so he couldn't roll "up" and out), and had the boys stand around it and play peekaboo over the edge to keep Samuel amused. This kept Samuel more secure and their eyes busily on the baby instead of my antics, lol! I have never been more thankful to have been wearing an ankle-length skirt in my life, haha!
Samuel is now scooting, and scooting pretty fast! He started last week, and ramped up the speed this week. He fell off my bed the other evening and landed on his head, just before bedtime! :( I felt sooooooooo awful. I remember Matthew doing that and I felt terrible then too. He moved so much faster than I expected him to, and suddenly shows an interest in getting to the edge of the bed FORWARDS rather than rolling at it sideways, so that he can look down, and GET down. His interest in things is getting further and further afield from where he is positioned. He spends a lot of time roaming around the living room floor now, never mind the large number of boys around the place, lol! I always put him in the bouncy chair (which he has largely outgrown) or take him with me if I leave the room though. He is keen on paper and card, tissues, BABY WIPES (bleurgh!!), and fluff to chew on, hehe! Funny boy. He seeks all these things out and is coming on leaps and bounds with his fine motor skills practising pincering little bits of tissue or fluff off the laminate floor! He's like a royal at the moment, making his way around while his humble servant (me!) scuttles in front of him, bent over, sweeping his path clear the whole while, hehehe! Laminate floor is fabulous but boy does it need sweeping, especially if it has a wool rug on top of it which sheds as much as a sheep does on a daily basis! Tsk!
Samuel loves the laminate floor! He always starts on the rug where I put him, but he's off it as fast as he can go. He gets a lot further with each little scoot once he's on the laminate, and can swivel on his tummy ever so fast. His eyes get all big and bug out a bit with excitement at the speed sometimes, lol! He's such a sweet funny baby, and the boys spend so much time watching him and giggling! I have a video clip of him the day he started scooting, which I posted at Facebook. I will try to get it on OneTrueMedia.com so I can post it here:
There you go! :) It's a little snippet of an example of how the boys are SO involved with him at all times, constantly amused and excited by his activities and developments. They actually ARGUE about who is spending time with him sometimes, especially about who goes to see him when he wakes from his naps! They find all his expressions, noises, movements, etc, etc, so sweet and funny, even when they're not THAT sweet or funny! ;) Lovely boys!
They are hard work at the moment. I haven't written my other blog for AGES, and when I last did (as Jemma mentioned in her comment last entry), it was a not-too-descriptive brief entry about being in OVER MY HEAD with these children right now, and having no idea what to do about it! I felt a bit hopeless at the time! Things are a little better now that we're FINALLY not ill any more (although we're on Chicken Pox watch starting today for about 10 days! :) ) - it seemed like we were unwell in one way or another for EVER, and it really pulled me down energy-wise. I couldn't keep up with behaviour and school and housework and so on, and ugh. The boys' behaviour is difficult to manage but MUCH more so when they've been ill for an age themselves, OR better but still not doing much because siblings and parents are STILL unwell. Okay so I'm not feeling well right now because I have a UTI, BUT things are much better. We're doing school again consistently and the routine is helping a LOT. I still don't really know what to do about much, but that is okay because I was reminded recently that His grace is sufficient for me, and His strength is made perfect through weakness. BOY did that verse lift me up! I want to put it on the wall - I need to see it so often these days, because I am so very weak at this, and it's refreshing to be reminded where my strength comes from! And grace! Where would I be without it?! In the poo, that's where. Thank you Lord for GRACE! :)
I should be writing this at my other blog! I meant to follow-up, but never found time to do it. Anyway the reason I mentioned it here was to just say, even when things are feeling overwhelming, it really doesn't alter a thing when it comes to babies and getting pregnant. That is all in the Lord's hands. He knows what is best for our family much better than we do, and it is He who provides for our needs and enables us to even DO this job in first place. He will never give us more than we can bear, and it's His desire for us to be fruitful and have babies and babies and babies - I am so thankful! Even when it's hard, I am so thankful and joyfully expectant as I look forward to more! I hope He will bless us with more!
I have somehow got myself a bit of a horrid urine infection at the moment. I woke up with blood in my urine on Saturday and became increasingly unwell-feeling and crampy with backache during the day, so by the evening I was worried enough about my kidneys (I have a history, and resulting scar tissue in my kidneys) to phone the out-of-hours doctor, who told me to go to the urgent care clinic at the hospital right away. My kidneys turned out to be okay (they are not painful when squished by a doctor, haha!) but they put me on a 3-day course of antibiotics. The doctor asked me when my last period was, and then asked if there was any chance I could be pregnant - I guess they ask just as a routine thing when it comes to prescribing medicine. So I said yes, as there was a teensy chance. He asked permission to do a pregnancy test so I said yes to that as well. I knew there was next to no chance of it being positive but ohhh, it's just inbuilt isn't it, lol! I had that slight adrenaliney joyful feeling sitting there waiting for the test to cook so he could tell me the result! :) He said the pregnancy test was negative, and added, "Which I guess is no bad thing!" given that I'd just told him I am breastfeeding a 6-month-old and have 4 other young children! ;) My grandparents saw us the next day and knew about my poor bladder, so asked worriedly about what the doctor had said and what tests he had done. I mentioned that he'd done a pregnancy test which was negative, and they made a big deal of it being wonderful news, and congratulations, etc! *sigh* Hey ho! I'm lately caring less and less what anyone else thinks, which is healthy and MUCH less stressful! :) Neil says if we have another baby, we are NOT telling my family until like the WEEK before the baby is born, hehe! They're not terribly bad about it, just not that happy at first, and we could do without that I guess.
Anyway, so the test was negative, of course. At the end when I was about to leave with the prescription, I hesitated and said, "And the pregnancy test was definitely negative, right?" Hehe! He gave me an amused smile and walked over to check it again, and held it up, saying, "Just one line!" I just said, "Right. Okay. Just checking!" :) Neil had been asking (pestering!) me to take a pregnancy test in the couple of days beforehand, because he thought I was giving off "pregnant vibes" - I was more irritable and moody in a hormonal way (apparently!), and felt a bit queasy and gaggy at things easily. I was crampy as well. I wonder now if that was just early signs of this UTI? Probably, as those are common symptoms (well, not the moodiness!).
So I am still waiting to ovulate. I think I am somewhere in the 30s in terms of my Cycle Day now. I have lately been having some EWCM again and so I think my body is gearing up for another "go" at ovulating. That seems to be common for me postpartum - I sometimes have a longer cycle where the first run-up to ovulation is fruitless, and then a bit later my body tries again and usually succeeds. Once it was 3 tries though, I think, before ovulation did occur - a VERY long cycle that time! Anyway, it's nice to be temping again, because I can know what my cycle is doing without wondering (and getting pestered to take pregnancy tests when I know I'm not pregnant yet!). I kept telling Neil that my temps were too low :) I think I should probably buy a cheapy pack of pregnancy tests though. Then I would have them ready for any time I really DO wonder in the future. I'll get around to that soon hopefully!
I still have my UTI, blah. STILL blood in my urine, and I hate that. It always bugs me to see blood where it shouldn't be! My sides ache like anything and that bothers me too, but I know how to squish my own kidneys and they aren't tender at all, so I guess it's bladder-related? I feel under the weather and tired and achy along with it. No fever though, thankfully. I finished my course of antibiotics yesterday, so when the symptoms were all still there today I went to the doctor. I had to take all the boys with me, and do a urine sample in one of those tiny 2cm diameter sample tubes (no funnel or anything useful like that!) in a public toilet at the doctor's surgery, with all 5 of my little ones around me! That was NOT fun! I did not have the pushchair with me and really had not thought it out well, as Samuel was in my arms! Thankfully the toilet had a fold-down baby changing mat in the wall next to the toilet, and I lay Samuel in that (it was sort of hammocky so he couldn't roll "up" and out), and had the boys stand around it and play peekaboo over the edge to keep Samuel amused. This kept Samuel more secure and their eyes busily on the baby instead of my antics, lol! I have never been more thankful to have been wearing an ankle-length skirt in my life, haha!
Samuel is now scooting, and scooting pretty fast! He started last week, and ramped up the speed this week. He fell off my bed the other evening and landed on his head, just before bedtime! :( I felt sooooooooo awful. I remember Matthew doing that and I felt terrible then too. He moved so much faster than I expected him to, and suddenly shows an interest in getting to the edge of the bed FORWARDS rather than rolling at it sideways, so that he can look down, and GET down. His interest in things is getting further and further afield from where he is positioned. He spends a lot of time roaming around the living room floor now, never mind the large number of boys around the place, lol! I always put him in the bouncy chair (which he has largely outgrown) or take him with me if I leave the room though. He is keen on paper and card, tissues, BABY WIPES (bleurgh!!), and fluff to chew on, hehe! Funny boy. He seeks all these things out and is coming on leaps and bounds with his fine motor skills practising pincering little bits of tissue or fluff off the laminate floor! He's like a royal at the moment, making his way around while his humble servant (me!) scuttles in front of him, bent over, sweeping his path clear the whole while, hehehe! Laminate floor is fabulous but boy does it need sweeping, especially if it has a wool rug on top of it which sheds as much as a sheep does on a daily basis! Tsk!
Samuel loves the laminate floor! He always starts on the rug where I put him, but he's off it as fast as he can go. He gets a lot further with each little scoot once he's on the laminate, and can swivel on his tummy ever so fast. His eyes get all big and bug out a bit with excitement at the speed sometimes, lol! He's such a sweet funny baby, and the boys spend so much time watching him and giggling! I have a video clip of him the day he started scooting, which I posted at Facebook. I will try to get it on OneTrueMedia.com so I can post it here:
There you go! :) It's a little snippet of an example of how the boys are SO involved with him at all times, constantly amused and excited by his activities and developments. They actually ARGUE about who is spending time with him sometimes, especially about who goes to see him when he wakes from his naps! They find all his expressions, noises, movements, etc, etc, so sweet and funny, even when they're not THAT sweet or funny! ;) Lovely boys!
They are hard work at the moment. I haven't written my other blog for AGES, and when I last did (as Jemma mentioned in her comment last entry), it was a not-too-descriptive brief entry about being in OVER MY HEAD with these children right now, and having no idea what to do about it! I felt a bit hopeless at the time! Things are a little better now that we're FINALLY not ill any more (although we're on Chicken Pox watch starting today for about 10 days! :) ) - it seemed like we were unwell in one way or another for EVER, and it really pulled me down energy-wise. I couldn't keep up with behaviour and school and housework and so on, and ugh. The boys' behaviour is difficult to manage but MUCH more so when they've been ill for an age themselves, OR better but still not doing much because siblings and parents are STILL unwell. Okay so I'm not feeling well right now because I have a UTI, BUT things are much better. We're doing school again consistently and the routine is helping a LOT. I still don't really know what to do about much, but that is okay because I was reminded recently that His grace is sufficient for me, and His strength is made perfect through weakness. BOY did that verse lift me up! I want to put it on the wall - I need to see it so often these days, because I am so very weak at this, and it's refreshing to be reminded where my strength comes from! And grace! Where would I be without it?! In the poo, that's where. Thank you Lord for GRACE! :)
I should be writing this at my other blog! I meant to follow-up, but never found time to do it. Anyway the reason I mentioned it here was to just say, even when things are feeling overwhelming, it really doesn't alter a thing when it comes to babies and getting pregnant. That is all in the Lord's hands. He knows what is best for our family much better than we do, and it is He who provides for our needs and enables us to even DO this job in first place. He will never give us more than we can bear, and it's His desire for us to be fruitful and have babies and babies and babies - I am so thankful! Even when it's hard, I am so thankful and joyfully expectant as I look forward to more! I hope He will bless us with more!
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
6 months postpartum update!
Ohhh how ridiculously long it has been since I updated here!! Just no time, none at all! I can do little snatches of things online, but I always procrastinate when it comes to blogging because I always end up SO VERY long-winded, lol! And I don't have time to be long-winded, mostly. My laptop has had a rather unfortunate accident involving a glass of water (ahem), and has been away being fixed (oh I do so hope!!) for two weeks now. I'm so nervous that it won't be salvagable :( Anyway, meanwhile I have even less time online because of sharing the antique computer with Neil. BUT he brought a laptop home from work this week so I have a little more time than usual in the evenings! :)
So where were we?! I think Samuel was 8 weeks old last time I posted! He is now 6 months old and so verily scrumptious. I can't post photos because they're on my laptop (sob! though most are backed up, thankfully!) and so is all my camera software, so I'll have to wait to upload them when I get it back. There have been a few of him on my main blog since I last posted here though... I think?? I am not doing great at keeping up there either! :S
Samuel is so precious! He is wearing age 6-9 month clothes, and still squeezing into the larger 3-6 month ones. He is acting a bit teethy sometimes, but not too much. He bites on things really hard so I guess his teeth may be bothering him a little. Oh he's waking! I'll be back.
Back! I am not expecting him to cut any teeth yet, because none of his brothers have done so this early. The last two babies were nearly at their first birthdays before they cut their first tooth! Arthur was 8 months, and Matthew 7 months, so he could be more like them, or wait a good while longer yet! We'll see.
He's the most delightful, good-natured, easy-going baby! He rarely cries about anything, just fusses when tired or hungry. He beams and smiles at the slightest bit of attention, and not because he's short of it. He gets LOTS of attention, despite being the 5th child under 7 in this house! Oh his brothers LOVE him!! Especially Matthew. I wish I could show you the photos I took yesterday of Matthew loving on him. Matthew adores him, and spends as much time as he can with him. He will drop anything he's doing to run upstairs and be first to open Samuel's (my) bedroom door when he wakes from a nap - every single nap he takes! He loves going in and saying, "Hel-LO Samuel!" in a babytalk voice, as he approaches the bed, and seeing Samuel light up. Sometimes I want to tell Matthew NO! *I* want to be the first to get his sweet waking smile, hehe! But I let him. Sometimes I do get to see it though, and of course, I always always get the morning rays from that little man! :)
Samuel has still never slept a wink in a cot! My last three babies had all slept in a cot by now, Matthew from quite early on. Benjamin had his Amby Hammock of course, but he was in it for naps all the time from much earlier than Samuel's age. Samuel has my bed, and Benjamin's cot set up next to it (we bought a cabin bed to match the bunks in the boys' room, and Matthew sleeps on top of that, with a mattress on the floor for Benji underneath, and it worked VERY well from the get-go, so that's good!). Anyway, the cot just sits full of laundry, lol! I am SO enjoying co-sleeping with this sweet little baby. He breastfeeds on and off through the night, but who knows how often or how many times. All I know is it doesn't seem that frequent, but it's probably a few times - 2 or 3? I don't know. I mostly sleep! :) He does too, but I think I always smile, however sleepily, as I adjust my clothing to nurse him as he rolls in towards me in the dark. It's just so wonderful, so much more wonderful with each baby it seems, for me. I love love love and cherish it so very much that even half asleep I am just aware of smiling in the dark as I latch my sweetie pea on. Then I go to sleep, and when he's finished, so does he. In the morning he wakes me up and smiles at me. Gosh, I am blissful right now! :) Life is very full and hectic, and I am at my wit's end in some departments, but ohhhh the baby bliss!!! I happen to have a very "easy" baby, for which I am grateful as it makes things much easier for me, and I am enjoying having a little baby VERY much indeed! :)
Samuel is my first thumb-sucker! They have all had a short "go" at that, usually for a few weeks, and I've wondered if it would stick but it never did. Samuel sucks his thumb all the time really. He's the first of mine to self-soothe, and I think that is making life much easier. He is SO like Matthew in personality as a baby - laid-back and liking his sleep, and not wanting to snack snack snack on breastmilk like *some* little people have! ;) He only ever takes one breast for a full feed, and makes such an amusing face when I offer him more of the same or the other side after he's finished! He won't take any more, that's for sure, hehe! This week he has been nursing more frequently and wanting the other side, which he NEVER does, so I'm assuming (he's so easy to read!) that he's having a growth spurt. I think that's a typical occurance at 6 months, but I can't remember.
Anyway, he sucks his sweet little thumbie to go to sleep, ALWAYS. He nurses until full, pops off and rolls away and puts his right (always right) thumb in his mouth, all in one smooth movement. Then he sucks his thumb until he's asleep. He has been doing this for months now. He does often let his thumb go and roll back for a little more milk, and then repeats the pop off/roll/thumb. I have learnt to scarper out of the bedroom the moment he rolls away because lately he's a bit more restless if I hang around. If he rolls back and I'm there, he sort of pops on and off the breast, not wanting any more milk but getting fidgetty and fussy. If I am not there, I go quickly downstairs and watch him on the video monitor, and he rolls to where I was lying and settles there happily. It seems like I'm in his way once he's finished with milky and wants to sleep! ;)
I MISS him so much if he sleeps longer than 3 hours, day or night!! I always just want to wake him up and stroke his sweet little face or squeeeeeze him! He's so darling. Words can't describe how much I love him. I know all mamas feel this way about their tiny ones, but ahhhhhh how strong that feeling is!!! I wish I could record it properly here. Oh well.
Samuel's hair is growing in pretty well now. It doesn't stick straight up like Matthew's did! It lies flat, and has a little twist-curl at the middle of his forehead :) His hair is fair, like Matthew's - all the others have brown hair. I LOVE how like Matthew he is, especially given how much Matthew adores him. He is physically incredibly like Matthew to look at as well. We have photos for a screensaver on the antique computer, from when I was pregnant with Arthur until Nathan was just born. The baby photos of Matthew sometimes pop up and take our breath away because we have a hard time telling that it's not Samuel, even KNOWING it's not. We can see that it's Matthew, because it just IS, and he does have his own look, but otherwise... I think if these two were fraternal twins, they would constantly be mistaken for identical twins. It's hard to tell their baby photos apart sometimes, and seeing photos of Matthew a few months OLDER than Samuel is a weird experience. It sometimes looks like we're seeing a glimpse of what Samuel will look like cruising the furniture, or with more hair grown in, etc. Strange feeling! :) But I love how alike they are. Samuel's hair looks different in different light. From one angle it looks light brown, and from another it looks WHITE blonde. Mostly it just looks in between the two, or like both colours are mixed in there together. He still has a nice mullet of dark newborn hair, and at the sides too, haha! It's sweet but I will be happy when he's older and has lost the dark hair and only has his "proper" hair! We haven't really noticed that lingering newborn hair with the others because of their dark "proper" hair, and Matthew lost ALL his newborn hair in the first few months, so he didn't have this issue.
Samuel's eyes are currently blue blue blue, like Matthew's were, but just recently I am noticing a very subtle change around the pupils - the faintest hint of yellow/tan. I wonder if his eyes will turn out like Matthew's have - a sort of grey green with a tan ring around the pupil?
Samuel isn't crawling or anything near yet (Matthew and Nathan were crawling at 6 months, but Benjamin and Arthur not until 8 months). I guess he has spent less time freely roaming about the floor than the others, because of, well, the others! lol! We're STILL in our tiny 2-bedroom house. Space is limited for a little baby to be on the living room floor all the time. If I am in the room, I get him out of his bouncy chair and let him roll about on the floor. He LOVES the floor now. He would get tired of it and cry a month ago, quite quickly, but he loves it now. He is reaching and lunging forwards for toys, rolling all over the place, and swivelling round 360 degrees on his tummy. He started rolling months ago - at 3 months old I think - in both directions. I get nervous about him still napping on my bed, but we have a camera on him and make a pillow barrier all the way round the edges of the bed. Whatever we are doing downstairs, whether it's eating, doing school, housework - we always have his monitor right in front of us. If I am occupied at the washing machine or something like that, I often call a boy to check his monitor to see what he's doing, and they like reporting back to me. Pretty soon I think I will have to move him to the cot for naps though, to be safe.
He has started sitting without support this week! He did have the same 3 nights of HORRIBLY disturbed sleep that all my little ones have had before a brand new gross motor skill. Finally I have had enough kids and thus enough experience for me to actually recognise it BEFORE the motor skill emerged, lol! It's only taken me this long! ;) I felt triumphant when he sat up for the first time one day and promptly went back to normal sleep patterns! :) He is currently sitting steadily with support (me behind him, or in the activity ring that they've all used), and for 10 seconds or so without wobbling at all if he's chewing on a toy. The moment he reaches for something he topples though. He looks so much older suddenly, sitting up! :(
Samuel is my first baby NOT to have had any solid food upon turning 6 months old. I just am so content exclusively breastfeeding him, and HE seems completely happy. He isn't acting desperate for our food. He has been interested in it for a couple of months, watching us eat calmly but with interest. He reaches for food, but only in the same way that he reaches for the post, a toy, a pen, etc, if it's in my hand while he's on my lap. The other day I gave him a spoon to bite on, and he loved that. I sat eating an apple next to him, and he watched me. When I was down almost to the core, I held it out to him and asked him if he wanted a taste. He gave the apple a very calm look for the LONGEST time, as though he was interested but not that fussed. He didn't try to get it, and after a while just went back to chewing the spoon. The next time I held it out to him he was bored of his spoon and took it from me. He chewed hard on it but not like he wanted to consume or taste it, more like it was an ideal teether for his gums. He didn't seem too bothered about the taste either!
I was lamenting on Facebook that I wasn't looking forward to him turning 6 months and starting solids, because I was so enjoying exclusively breastfeeding him, and a couple of people replied to say THERE'S NO RUSH! :) So, I thought, why not wait a bit longer. And I have! :) Arthur's pestering me somewhat to give him a banana - he's looking forward to the milestone! When I do give him food it will be proper food, not purees, as we've done with the last three babies, but I am not in any hurry and don't particularly have a timescale for it. Right now I'm LOVING being his sole source of nutrition, and he seems completely satisfied so I'm happy. I have NO idea what he weighs! He hasn't been weighed since I was last writing entries here! I don't get chance to take him to drop-in centres for weighing, and I care less and less about what my babies weigh, what percentile they're at, and whether they are keeping to their curve, the more babies I have. I LOVE to know "stats" about my babies though, so that's the only nagging thought - I would like to know for that reason! :) But otherwise, pfthth. He will have a developmental check at around 8 months old, so he'll be weighed then, but that's probably it.
Ohhh there's probably SO much else to write about Samuel! But it's getting really late and I must go to bed!
I am on my 4th postpartum cycle now. Still can't believe how early it all started up again this time! I have been very loosely charting, only when my period arrives. I mostly forget to chart CM until LONG after the fact, and then I go back eventually and fill in the blanks where I can remember, but it's not that reliable! I chart what I can anyway. I think the last cycle was only a 3 day luteal phase - oh actually I think that was the one before. Last cycle, I'm not sure? I can't remember. Anyway. I am starting to chart more actively this cycle because I think I want more of an idea of what is going on with my body. I know I am ovulating, and that my luteal phase is short. Ovulation is getting a little earlier, and that's the time for me to start watching my cycles. Especially if parsnips are involved, so I'm starting to chart that too. I think there's almost zero chance of pregnancy right now because my luteal phases are very very short, and may well stay that way for a couple more cycles at least, but that's why I'm going to chart to find out. I am starting temping this cycle too, though I got started a little late. I think I might be ovulating today. I have been bloated all day, crampy increasingly through the evening, and the last 20 minutes I am pretty sure I am experiencing ovulation pain on my left side. Will chart it tomorrow, and see if it's actually true. And then probably get my period in 4 days, lol! If I had a normal LP and I am ovulating right now, I have a good chance of conception. But NOT a normal LP right now! ;)
Ohhh so looking forward and HOPING for more babies still to come for us! Arthur is hoping too - he was squishing my tummy wistfully a couple of weeks ago, and looking thoughtful. I asked him what he was doing, and he said, "Mummy, when can you go and wee on one of those stick things that tells us if you have a new tiny baby growing in your tummy again?" He clutched his fists under his chin with glee on the words "new tiny baby" :) Love that boy! And then last week (this week??) Matthew said he hoped God would bless us with more babies! He said he loves Samuel so much, and Samuel is his best friend in the whole world! Ahhh, where's the heart smiley when I want it?! :)
Right now, the reality of a new pregnancy would actually feel a bit overwhelming and scary to me. It feels really familiar from other times when I've had a baby aged about 6 months old. Once or twice I've thought maybe I could conceive that month, and it turned out to feel pretty scary in the reality of the moment! I worried about my milk for my baby boy, and morning sickness while still feeling like I was emerging from the postpartum fog, and HOW to do it all whilst dealing with the first trimester, etc. Not so much how to juggle another child, or how to manage with two very close in age, but more the pregnancy demands. I worry about whether my body is going to manage if I haven't had much time to recover from the latest pregnancy, especially my hips which were so very NOT happy this last time! I don't worry about labour any more. The whole thing just seems scary at this early stage, to me, but if it happened I would REJOICE because it would be a blessing from God. What's 15 months between babies?! It would not be so bad at all, and I would be so glad and thankful a year down the line - and during my pregnancy too. Just... the scariness! ;) BUT, fast forward a couple of months, to when I have an 8 month old or so... that's when I stop feeling this way and start getting proper baby fever! ;) Not really a coincidence that it is also when my body is about ready to conceive again. I love God's timing!! :)
I know that at any time, God could say, "That's it. Your family is complete". I know. I am so hoping He has plans to bless us again and again yet! I am now 35, and thus, for the first time, of "advanced maternal age". My mother, and her mother, and various other mothers before them (!) have started symptoms of menopause at age 40 and pretty much been done with it around age 42 or so. That's now only FIVE years away from me, which kind of makes me feel a bit clutchy around my throat! :S I don't mind getting old - I have never been someone who has issues with that idea - but I slightly panic at the thought of my childbearing years coming to an end. So sad! I hope these next five years are fruitful ones! My doula told me that if women continue having babies in their later reproductive years, it can delay menopause if it would have otherwise come on the early side. I hope she's right! I know it would be more tiring to be pregnant, give birth, recover from birth, and have a newborn (plus other kiddies) as I get older, but I don't care. TOTALLY. WORTH IT. :)
I shall be back! :)
So where were we?! I think Samuel was 8 weeks old last time I posted! He is now 6 months old and so verily scrumptious. I can't post photos because they're on my laptop (sob! though most are backed up, thankfully!) and so is all my camera software, so I'll have to wait to upload them when I get it back. There have been a few of him on my main blog since I last posted here though... I think?? I am not doing great at keeping up there either! :S
Samuel is so precious! He is wearing age 6-9 month clothes, and still squeezing into the larger 3-6 month ones. He is acting a bit teethy sometimes, but not too much. He bites on things really hard so I guess his teeth may be bothering him a little. Oh he's waking! I'll be back.
Back! I am not expecting him to cut any teeth yet, because none of his brothers have done so this early. The last two babies were nearly at their first birthdays before they cut their first tooth! Arthur was 8 months, and Matthew 7 months, so he could be more like them, or wait a good while longer yet! We'll see.
He's the most delightful, good-natured, easy-going baby! He rarely cries about anything, just fusses when tired or hungry. He beams and smiles at the slightest bit of attention, and not because he's short of it. He gets LOTS of attention, despite being the 5th child under 7 in this house! Oh his brothers LOVE him!! Especially Matthew. I wish I could show you the photos I took yesterday of Matthew loving on him. Matthew adores him, and spends as much time as he can with him. He will drop anything he's doing to run upstairs and be first to open Samuel's (my) bedroom door when he wakes from a nap - every single nap he takes! He loves going in and saying, "Hel-LO Samuel!" in a babytalk voice, as he approaches the bed, and seeing Samuel light up. Sometimes I want to tell Matthew NO! *I* want to be the first to get his sweet waking smile, hehe! But I let him. Sometimes I do get to see it though, and of course, I always always get the morning rays from that little man! :)
Samuel has still never slept a wink in a cot! My last three babies had all slept in a cot by now, Matthew from quite early on. Benjamin had his Amby Hammock of course, but he was in it for naps all the time from much earlier than Samuel's age. Samuel has my bed, and Benjamin's cot set up next to it (we bought a cabin bed to match the bunks in the boys' room, and Matthew sleeps on top of that, with a mattress on the floor for Benji underneath, and it worked VERY well from the get-go, so that's good!). Anyway, the cot just sits full of laundry, lol! I am SO enjoying co-sleeping with this sweet little baby. He breastfeeds on and off through the night, but who knows how often or how many times. All I know is it doesn't seem that frequent, but it's probably a few times - 2 or 3? I don't know. I mostly sleep! :) He does too, but I think I always smile, however sleepily, as I adjust my clothing to nurse him as he rolls in towards me in the dark. It's just so wonderful, so much more wonderful with each baby it seems, for me. I love love love and cherish it so very much that even half asleep I am just aware of smiling in the dark as I latch my sweetie pea on. Then I go to sleep, and when he's finished, so does he. In the morning he wakes me up and smiles at me. Gosh, I am blissful right now! :) Life is very full and hectic, and I am at my wit's end in some departments, but ohhhh the baby bliss!!! I happen to have a very "easy" baby, for which I am grateful as it makes things much easier for me, and I am enjoying having a little baby VERY much indeed! :)
Samuel is my first thumb-sucker! They have all had a short "go" at that, usually for a few weeks, and I've wondered if it would stick but it never did. Samuel sucks his thumb all the time really. He's the first of mine to self-soothe, and I think that is making life much easier. He is SO like Matthew in personality as a baby - laid-back and liking his sleep, and not wanting to snack snack snack on breastmilk like *some* little people have! ;) He only ever takes one breast for a full feed, and makes such an amusing face when I offer him more of the same or the other side after he's finished! He won't take any more, that's for sure, hehe! This week he has been nursing more frequently and wanting the other side, which he NEVER does, so I'm assuming (he's so easy to read!) that he's having a growth spurt. I think that's a typical occurance at 6 months, but I can't remember.
Anyway, he sucks his sweet little thumbie to go to sleep, ALWAYS. He nurses until full, pops off and rolls away and puts his right (always right) thumb in his mouth, all in one smooth movement. Then he sucks his thumb until he's asleep. He has been doing this for months now. He does often let his thumb go and roll back for a little more milk, and then repeats the pop off/roll/thumb. I have learnt to scarper out of the bedroom the moment he rolls away because lately he's a bit more restless if I hang around. If he rolls back and I'm there, he sort of pops on and off the breast, not wanting any more milk but getting fidgetty and fussy. If I am not there, I go quickly downstairs and watch him on the video monitor, and he rolls to where I was lying and settles there happily. It seems like I'm in his way once he's finished with milky and wants to sleep! ;)
I MISS him so much if he sleeps longer than 3 hours, day or night!! I always just want to wake him up and stroke his sweet little face or squeeeeeze him! He's so darling. Words can't describe how much I love him. I know all mamas feel this way about their tiny ones, but ahhhhhh how strong that feeling is!!! I wish I could record it properly here. Oh well.
Samuel's hair is growing in pretty well now. It doesn't stick straight up like Matthew's did! It lies flat, and has a little twist-curl at the middle of his forehead :) His hair is fair, like Matthew's - all the others have brown hair. I LOVE how like Matthew he is, especially given how much Matthew adores him. He is physically incredibly like Matthew to look at as well. We have photos for a screensaver on the antique computer, from when I was pregnant with Arthur until Nathan was just born. The baby photos of Matthew sometimes pop up and take our breath away because we have a hard time telling that it's not Samuel, even KNOWING it's not. We can see that it's Matthew, because it just IS, and he does have his own look, but otherwise... I think if these two were fraternal twins, they would constantly be mistaken for identical twins. It's hard to tell their baby photos apart sometimes, and seeing photos of Matthew a few months OLDER than Samuel is a weird experience. It sometimes looks like we're seeing a glimpse of what Samuel will look like cruising the furniture, or with more hair grown in, etc. Strange feeling! :) But I love how alike they are. Samuel's hair looks different in different light. From one angle it looks light brown, and from another it looks WHITE blonde. Mostly it just looks in between the two, or like both colours are mixed in there together. He still has a nice mullet of dark newborn hair, and at the sides too, haha! It's sweet but I will be happy when he's older and has lost the dark hair and only has his "proper" hair! We haven't really noticed that lingering newborn hair with the others because of their dark "proper" hair, and Matthew lost ALL his newborn hair in the first few months, so he didn't have this issue.
Samuel's eyes are currently blue blue blue, like Matthew's were, but just recently I am noticing a very subtle change around the pupils - the faintest hint of yellow/tan. I wonder if his eyes will turn out like Matthew's have - a sort of grey green with a tan ring around the pupil?
Samuel isn't crawling or anything near yet (Matthew and Nathan were crawling at 6 months, but Benjamin and Arthur not until 8 months). I guess he has spent less time freely roaming about the floor than the others, because of, well, the others! lol! We're STILL in our tiny 2-bedroom house. Space is limited for a little baby to be on the living room floor all the time. If I am in the room, I get him out of his bouncy chair and let him roll about on the floor. He LOVES the floor now. He would get tired of it and cry a month ago, quite quickly, but he loves it now. He is reaching and lunging forwards for toys, rolling all over the place, and swivelling round 360 degrees on his tummy. He started rolling months ago - at 3 months old I think - in both directions. I get nervous about him still napping on my bed, but we have a camera on him and make a pillow barrier all the way round the edges of the bed. Whatever we are doing downstairs, whether it's eating, doing school, housework - we always have his monitor right in front of us. If I am occupied at the washing machine or something like that, I often call a boy to check his monitor to see what he's doing, and they like reporting back to me. Pretty soon I think I will have to move him to the cot for naps though, to be safe.
He has started sitting without support this week! He did have the same 3 nights of HORRIBLY disturbed sleep that all my little ones have had before a brand new gross motor skill. Finally I have had enough kids and thus enough experience for me to actually recognise it BEFORE the motor skill emerged, lol! It's only taken me this long! ;) I felt triumphant when he sat up for the first time one day and promptly went back to normal sleep patterns! :) He is currently sitting steadily with support (me behind him, or in the activity ring that they've all used), and for 10 seconds or so without wobbling at all if he's chewing on a toy. The moment he reaches for something he topples though. He looks so much older suddenly, sitting up! :(
Samuel is my first baby NOT to have had any solid food upon turning 6 months old. I just am so content exclusively breastfeeding him, and HE seems completely happy. He isn't acting desperate for our food. He has been interested in it for a couple of months, watching us eat calmly but with interest. He reaches for food, but only in the same way that he reaches for the post, a toy, a pen, etc, if it's in my hand while he's on my lap. The other day I gave him a spoon to bite on, and he loved that. I sat eating an apple next to him, and he watched me. When I was down almost to the core, I held it out to him and asked him if he wanted a taste. He gave the apple a very calm look for the LONGEST time, as though he was interested but not that fussed. He didn't try to get it, and after a while just went back to chewing the spoon. The next time I held it out to him he was bored of his spoon and took it from me. He chewed hard on it but not like he wanted to consume or taste it, more like it was an ideal teether for his gums. He didn't seem too bothered about the taste either!
I was lamenting on Facebook that I wasn't looking forward to him turning 6 months and starting solids, because I was so enjoying exclusively breastfeeding him, and a couple of people replied to say THERE'S NO RUSH! :) So, I thought, why not wait a bit longer. And I have! :) Arthur's pestering me somewhat to give him a banana - he's looking forward to the milestone! When I do give him food it will be proper food, not purees, as we've done with the last three babies, but I am not in any hurry and don't particularly have a timescale for it. Right now I'm LOVING being his sole source of nutrition, and he seems completely satisfied so I'm happy. I have NO idea what he weighs! He hasn't been weighed since I was last writing entries here! I don't get chance to take him to drop-in centres for weighing, and I care less and less about what my babies weigh, what percentile they're at, and whether they are keeping to their curve, the more babies I have. I LOVE to know "stats" about my babies though, so that's the only nagging thought - I would like to know for that reason! :) But otherwise, pfthth. He will have a developmental check at around 8 months old, so he'll be weighed then, but that's probably it.
Ohhh there's probably SO much else to write about Samuel! But it's getting really late and I must go to bed!
I am on my 4th postpartum cycle now. Still can't believe how early it all started up again this time! I have been very loosely charting, only when my period arrives. I mostly forget to chart CM until LONG after the fact, and then I go back eventually and fill in the blanks where I can remember, but it's not that reliable! I chart what I can anyway. I think the last cycle was only a 3 day luteal phase - oh actually I think that was the one before. Last cycle, I'm not sure? I can't remember. Anyway. I am starting to chart more actively this cycle because I think I want more of an idea of what is going on with my body. I know I am ovulating, and that my luteal phase is short. Ovulation is getting a little earlier, and that's the time for me to start watching my cycles. Especially if parsnips are involved, so I'm starting to chart that too. I think there's almost zero chance of pregnancy right now because my luteal phases are very very short, and may well stay that way for a couple more cycles at least, but that's why I'm going to chart to find out. I am starting temping this cycle too, though I got started a little late. I think I might be ovulating today. I have been bloated all day, crampy increasingly through the evening, and the last 20 minutes I am pretty sure I am experiencing ovulation pain on my left side. Will chart it tomorrow, and see if it's actually true. And then probably get my period in 4 days, lol! If I had a normal LP and I am ovulating right now, I have a good chance of conception. But NOT a normal LP right now! ;)
Ohhh so looking forward and HOPING for more babies still to come for us! Arthur is hoping too - he was squishing my tummy wistfully a couple of weeks ago, and looking thoughtful. I asked him what he was doing, and he said, "Mummy, when can you go and wee on one of those stick things that tells us if you have a new tiny baby growing in your tummy again?" He clutched his fists under his chin with glee on the words "new tiny baby" :) Love that boy! And then last week (this week??) Matthew said he hoped God would bless us with more babies! He said he loves Samuel so much, and Samuel is his best friend in the whole world! Ahhh, where's the heart smiley when I want it?! :)
Right now, the reality of a new pregnancy would actually feel a bit overwhelming and scary to me. It feels really familiar from other times when I've had a baby aged about 6 months old. Once or twice I've thought maybe I could conceive that month, and it turned out to feel pretty scary in the reality of the moment! I worried about my milk for my baby boy, and morning sickness while still feeling like I was emerging from the postpartum fog, and HOW to do it all whilst dealing with the first trimester, etc. Not so much how to juggle another child, or how to manage with two very close in age, but more the pregnancy demands. I worry about whether my body is going to manage if I haven't had much time to recover from the latest pregnancy, especially my hips which were so very NOT happy this last time! I don't worry about labour any more. The whole thing just seems scary at this early stage, to me, but if it happened I would REJOICE because it would be a blessing from God. What's 15 months between babies?! It would not be so bad at all, and I would be so glad and thankful a year down the line - and during my pregnancy too. Just... the scariness! ;) BUT, fast forward a couple of months, to when I have an 8 month old or so... that's when I stop feeling this way and start getting proper baby fever! ;) Not really a coincidence that it is also when my body is about ready to conceive again. I love God's timing!! :)
I know that at any time, God could say, "That's it. Your family is complete". I know. I am so hoping He has plans to bless us again and again yet! I am now 35, and thus, for the first time, of "advanced maternal age". My mother, and her mother, and various other mothers before them (!) have started symptoms of menopause at age 40 and pretty much been done with it around age 42 or so. That's now only FIVE years away from me, which kind of makes me feel a bit clutchy around my throat! :S I don't mind getting old - I have never been someone who has issues with that idea - but I slightly panic at the thought of my childbearing years coming to an end. So sad! I hope these next five years are fruitful ones! My doula told me that if women continue having babies in their later reproductive years, it can delay menopause if it would have otherwise come on the early side. I hope she's right! I know it would be more tiring to be pregnant, give birth, recover from birth, and have a newborn (plus other kiddies) as I get older, but I don't care. TOTALLY. WORTH IT. :)
I shall be back! :)
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
8 weeks old and time to close, but uhhhmmm....
Samuel is 8 weeks old!!! He had his 6-8 week check last week (flying colours! :) ) and so I should have updated by now and (sadly!) said goodbye to this blog for a while, but I just haven't got round to it yet. Proper entry coming, because I DO want to do that properly. And I still haven't written his birth story, aaargh! So want to get that done soon as well.
My lochia has FINALLY stopped, woohoo! It faded off to nothing about 10 days ago, and I noticed normal CM starting right off the bat. Then 5 (ish) days ago I noticed EWCM. And again the next day. And the next day (but not so much). Also I noticed that my man looked particularly attractive during those three days, hehehe! ;) I did think, "Hmmm..." and wondered if I should chart those things, but that seemed RIDICULOUS since I was only just 7 weeks postpartum and was only days off finishing my bleeding from giving BIRTH! And not to mention the two newborns I'm breastfeeding - that's the ACTUAL newborn, and the 19-month-old who is nursing like another one! ;) Not at night, but he easily nurses as often and long as Samuel during the day. So I didn't chart it.
Wish I had! I have been crampy for a week now (started with the EWCM) and increasingly bloated over the past week. Today I wondered if my lochia was somehow starting up a touch again, and then tonight when I went to the loo and wiped there was red blood! Periods ALREADY?!?!?!?! I thought last time was a record for me at just under 3 months postpartum, as I was between 5.5 months and 6.75 months postpartum with all the others. But 8 weeks to the day?!?! Whaaaaaat?!!
I am now feeling that yucky achy hot crampy feeling, so I'm fairly sure I'm starting a period. Which I can. not. believe. So unusual for me, this early! And with what looks like ovulation as well!
I will update again properly soon, but I just wanted to note this evening's "news" here first. I am going to start charting to keep track of things, as always. It's just totally surreal to be doing so 8 weeks after giving birth! :S
My lochia has FINALLY stopped, woohoo! It faded off to nothing about 10 days ago, and I noticed normal CM starting right off the bat. Then 5 (ish) days ago I noticed EWCM. And again the next day. And the next day (but not so much). Also I noticed that my man looked particularly attractive during those three days, hehehe! ;) I did think, "Hmmm..." and wondered if I should chart those things, but that seemed RIDICULOUS since I was only just 7 weeks postpartum and was only days off finishing my bleeding from giving BIRTH! And not to mention the two newborns I'm breastfeeding - that's the ACTUAL newborn, and the 19-month-old who is nursing like another one! ;) Not at night, but he easily nurses as often and long as Samuel during the day. So I didn't chart it.
Wish I had! I have been crampy for a week now (started with the EWCM) and increasingly bloated over the past week. Today I wondered if my lochia was somehow starting up a touch again, and then tonight when I went to the loo and wiped there was red blood! Periods ALREADY?!?!?!?! I thought last time was a record for me at just under 3 months postpartum, as I was between 5.5 months and 6.75 months postpartum with all the others. But 8 weeks to the day?!?! Whaaaaaat?!!
I am now feeling that yucky achy hot crampy feeling, so I'm fairly sure I'm starting a period. Which I can. not. believe. So unusual for me, this early! And with what looks like ovulation as well!
I will update again properly soon, but I just wanted to note this evening's "news" here first. I am going to start charting to keep track of things, as always. It's just totally surreal to be doing so 8 weeks after giving birth! :S
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Smiley Samuel at 6 weeks old :)
Sweet Samuel at six weeks:
Cooing at me in his sweet soft husky little voice (SO like Matthew's voice, just not quiiite as husky):
Smiles for Mummy! :)
Samuel has an inquisitive big brother! ;) Poor baby!
Good thing he's an easy-going boy! :)
Samuel's 6-8 week check is this Tuesday coming at 7 weeks old exactly, and I need to update more than just this photo update BEFORE then because there's tons to write about him before I need to close this blog down at the usual time! But I am not altogether well at the moment (nausea that won't subside and just feeling weak and exhausted, for days now :( ) and so I don't feel up to writing a long blog entry. Hopefully I'll be up to that tomorrow or the next day! Just couldn't resist posting these recent photos of my sweetest little manny manoo! Love this baby boy SOOOO much! :)
Cooing at me in his sweet soft husky little voice (SO like Matthew's voice, just not quiiite as husky):
Smiles for Mummy! :)
Samuel has an inquisitive big brother! ;) Poor baby!
Good thing he's an easy-going boy! :)
Samuel's 6-8 week check is this Tuesday coming at 7 weeks old exactly, and I need to update more than just this photo update BEFORE then because there's tons to write about him before I need to close this blog down at the usual time! But I am not altogether well at the moment (nausea that won't subside and just feeling weak and exhausted, for days now :( ) and so I don't feel up to writing a long blog entry. Hopefully I'll be up to that tomorrow or the next day! Just couldn't resist posting these recent photos of my sweetest little manny manoo! Love this baby boy SOOOO much! :)
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