This morning my temperature dropped like a STONE, so I knew I would definitely be getting my period! I felt soooo nauseous last night, ugh, and dizzy/headachy. This morning when I woke up I started to feel nauseous literally the moment I opened my eyes, and then when I temped I was quite nervous about the day ahead, mid-way through the first full week of properly homeschooling this term! :S
I have continued to feel dizzy and kind of delicate through the day, and because I knew my period would show up, I determined to take the day by the horns and try to get all the important stuff done as early as possible so as to have breathing room if I felt hideous later in the day. So proud of myself because everyone was dressed and fed by 8am, and we had finished all of school by lunchtime! :) I had time to bake brownies with Matthew, and make dinner on time for the boys. They were dressed for bed with teeth cleaned when Neil arrived home from work, and STILL my period had not arrived.
By that time I was feeling queasy again, which quickly progressed to really yucky nausea once the boys were in bed, and I couldn't eat any dinner. I just feel exhausted, physically, to my absolute BONE today. So very different to any level of overtiredness, this hormonal tiredness. I couldn't remember if that was normal for me before a period, and since it was so extreme I wondered if there was still a chance it could be maaayyyybe pregnancy related?
Anyway, eventually this evening I took a left-over anti-sickness pill that I was prescribed when I had my kidney stone, and felt better enough for some cereal an hour or so later. Right after which, my period turned up! :) So, another cycle begins, and I'm quite surprised at the bad cramping I've had - that's the first time I've ever had bad cramps that went away again in my luteal phase, outside of being pregnant. It does lead me to wonder that I probably conceived, but I guess there's no point thinking about that. I'm also surprised that my luteal phase is STILL only 6 days long - same as last cycle.
Still, God's timing, God's timing... and I'm happy when I think of it like that! Perfectly happy! :) Thanks for the sweet comments last entry! So nice to have people cheering me on, hehe! I will be back in a few weeks! :)
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
6DPO
My temp did go up again this morning after yesterday's dip. I was dreaming that I was trying to figure out which thermometer to use to temp with, when Neil woke me this morning, haha! ;)
I have had about 30 mins of bad cramps for a burst this morning, and then again just after lunch time, but nothing else. Over the rest of that time, I had no cramping whatsoever.
However! It's evening now, and I am now feeling like I am going to get my period sometime soon. I feel very very tired, and mildly crampy (not the bad cramps that I had earlier in the day and yesterday - they were worse yesterday than today actually). Right around 6.30pm I SUDDENLY out of the blue became really irritable and impatient, and after about 10 minutes of being unnecessarily snappy with my children, I started to ask myself what on earth was going on! It does seem rather PMS-like to me. Then I came down from putting little ones to bed and started to read Arthur a story, and realised I was getting a headache. Within a few minutes I had to stop reading to go and take some painkillers, just because it was a weird sort of heavy headache that did not feel nice at all. It's still here anyway, which is something I remember from the 24 or so hours before a period starts sometimes. I can't remember if the pre-period headaches have a specific feel, or if this is it, but anyway. It's not an "it's been a long day" headache, so I think it's probably hormonal, and thus indicative of my period on its way. I feel pretty nauseous this evening as well - maybe headache-related? I don't know. And I felt a bit dizzy around the boys' bedtime.
Those are the only things of note! Oh and I did feel weepy over a couple of different story books for really little ones that I was reading to Nathan and Benjamin this afternoon. DEFINITELY hormones, that one! ;)
So if my temperature drops in the morning then maybe I will get my period the same day? I do know that my pre-period headaches tended to last quite a while - at least 8 hours and painkillers don't work whatsoever. I often wake up with them still there if they only just start before bed, which I do not relish with the day ahead of me! It's our first week of really knuckling down again with school ("back" to school, though we haven't really stopped over the summer, just did a bit here and a bit there depending on organisation and so on) and a dizzying, painful period would throw a spanner in the works a bit! Hopefully it will be perfectly manageable! I think my last period was, but then I was on strong painkillers around the clock for my kidney stone, so who knows! ;) If I do get my period tomorrow then my luteal phase will not have lengthened at all from last time, which is a bit unusual for me at this stage postpartum. By now, my luteal phase is usually lengthening by a day or two days every cycle - each cycle always has a luteal phase longer than the previous one, and at 8 months PP I am never still on a luteal phase as short as just 6 days... But timing isn't important - except for God's! :)
I will update tomorrow!
I have had about 30 mins of bad cramps for a burst this morning, and then again just after lunch time, but nothing else. Over the rest of that time, I had no cramping whatsoever.
However! It's evening now, and I am now feeling like I am going to get my period sometime soon. I feel very very tired, and mildly crampy (not the bad cramps that I had earlier in the day and yesterday - they were worse yesterday than today actually). Right around 6.30pm I SUDDENLY out of the blue became really irritable and impatient, and after about 10 minutes of being unnecessarily snappy with my children, I started to ask myself what on earth was going on! It does seem rather PMS-like to me. Then I came down from putting little ones to bed and started to read Arthur a story, and realised I was getting a headache. Within a few minutes I had to stop reading to go and take some painkillers, just because it was a weird sort of heavy headache that did not feel nice at all. It's still here anyway, which is something I remember from the 24 or so hours before a period starts sometimes. I can't remember if the pre-period headaches have a specific feel, or if this is it, but anyway. It's not an "it's been a long day" headache, so I think it's probably hormonal, and thus indicative of my period on its way. I feel pretty nauseous this evening as well - maybe headache-related? I don't know. And I felt a bit dizzy around the boys' bedtime.
Those are the only things of note! Oh and I did feel weepy over a couple of different story books for really little ones that I was reading to Nathan and Benjamin this afternoon. DEFINITELY hormones, that one! ;)
So if my temperature drops in the morning then maybe I will get my period the same day? I do know that my pre-period headaches tended to last quite a while - at least 8 hours and painkillers don't work whatsoever. I often wake up with them still there if they only just start before bed, which I do not relish with the day ahead of me! It's our first week of really knuckling down again with school ("back" to school, though we haven't really stopped over the summer, just did a bit here and a bit there depending on organisation and so on) and a dizzying, painful period would throw a spanner in the works a bit! Hopefully it will be perfectly manageable! I think my last period was, but then I was on strong painkillers around the clock for my kidney stone, so who knows! ;) If I do get my period tomorrow then my luteal phase will not have lengthened at all from last time, which is a bit unusual for me at this stage postpartum. By now, my luteal phase is usually lengthening by a day or two days every cycle - each cycle always has a luteal phase longer than the previous one, and at 8 months PP I am never still on a luteal phase as short as just 6 days... But timing isn't important - except for God's! :)
I will update tomorrow!
Monday, September 5, 2011
5DPO
Bonjour again, Blogger! :) So, me rambling about my luteal phase, far too late at night - familiar times?! ;)
Well, I'm 5DPO today. This morning my temp dipped quite a bit, and looking at last cycle the same exact thing happened at 5DPO, followed by a MUCH bigger dip the next day at 6DPO, and then my period the day after. My chart looks very much like last cycle's chart as far as temps go! I will wait and see about tomorrow's. I do sort of hope my LP will be longer this time - I like getting back to normal.
I am totally NOT looking out for pregnancy symptoms, because I am fully expecting a short luteal phase. I want to make note of some stuff about today though, for future reference. I had some mild crampiness this morning, sort of like I might in the run up to ovulating or getting my period maybe. At around 3 or 3.30pm, I started to feel much more crampy. It seemed to come on over maybe a 5 minute period, that's all. At the time I was in the kitchen getting snacks and I remember wondering if the distracting crampiness meant that I should chart mild cramps or bad cramps. I was VERY hesitant to call them bad cramps because historically I have only ever had bad cramps when I have been pregnant during my luteal phase, but that does include chemical pregnancies too. I don't want to go out there yelling, "BAD CRAMPS, WOOHOO!!!" every time I'm X-DPO and Neil and I have so much as looked at each other in the run-up to ovulation! ;) But, me and bad cramps in the luteal phase.... they have only happened so far due to pregnancy. So I was hesitant, and also not even sure they were bad enough.
I got the snacks and went into the living room. The crampiness continued just steady, and it wasn't that bad, just distracting. After they ate snacks, we set about building a massive Duplo house (to go with our Letter H activity today) with alllll the Duplo bricks the boys have. It took us over an hour, while Samuel was napping! So much fun! :) About half an hour into that time, I was in absolutely no doubt whatsoever that I was having BAD cramps. It felt like my period had started, and I was beginning to feel queasy with it too. The crampiness stayed exactly the same for the next few hours, until maybe 8pm-ish. During that time I was nauseous most of the time, but it was like when I have period cramps sometimes, I feel queasy with them. The cramps didn't come in waves, they just felt vice-like and hot. I also felt crampy through the small of my back on my right side.
After 8pm-ish I realised I had ZERO crampiness - after putting the boys to bed, I think... I can't remember exactly when it must have eased off, but it was gone! :) I also didn't feel yucky any more in my tummy, just hungry for dinner. I had been really bloated before so maybe it made me feel queasy? Sometimes that happens. Anyway, all evening I have had no cramps, not even if I think about it REALLY hard, lol! Until about 15 minutes ago (just after midnight - I know I'm naughty staying up so late!), when the bad (definitely bad) cramps started up again. I feel queasy with them again, but not too bad. I am just going to go to bed now, but I wanted to post about the cramps.
Nothing else of note though, I don't think... I have been kind of sensitive to noise again today, for whatever reason, but it has been okay. I have the odd spot that I only ever get with hormones (usually pre-period, but once or twice in early pregnancy - these are just plain HORMONES though, whichever way!). I will see what my temp is tomorrow. If it's down then I suppose I will get my period with a similar length luteal phase to last cycle, and set a new thing with bad cramps in the run-up to a period. I will update tomorrow! :)
Well, I'm 5DPO today. This morning my temp dipped quite a bit, and looking at last cycle the same exact thing happened at 5DPO, followed by a MUCH bigger dip the next day at 6DPO, and then my period the day after. My chart looks very much like last cycle's chart as far as temps go! I will wait and see about tomorrow's. I do sort of hope my LP will be longer this time - I like getting back to normal.
I am totally NOT looking out for pregnancy symptoms, because I am fully expecting a short luteal phase. I want to make note of some stuff about today though, for future reference. I had some mild crampiness this morning, sort of like I might in the run up to ovulating or getting my period maybe. At around 3 or 3.30pm, I started to feel much more crampy. It seemed to come on over maybe a 5 minute period, that's all. At the time I was in the kitchen getting snacks and I remember wondering if the distracting crampiness meant that I should chart mild cramps or bad cramps. I was VERY hesitant to call them bad cramps because historically I have only ever had bad cramps when I have been pregnant during my luteal phase, but that does include chemical pregnancies too. I don't want to go out there yelling, "BAD CRAMPS, WOOHOO!!!" every time I'm X-DPO and Neil and I have so much as looked at each other in the run-up to ovulation! ;) But, me and bad cramps in the luteal phase.... they have only happened so far due to pregnancy. So I was hesitant, and also not even sure they were bad enough.
I got the snacks and went into the living room. The crampiness continued just steady, and it wasn't that bad, just distracting. After they ate snacks, we set about building a massive Duplo house (to go with our Letter H activity today) with alllll the Duplo bricks the boys have. It took us over an hour, while Samuel was napping! So much fun! :) About half an hour into that time, I was in absolutely no doubt whatsoever that I was having BAD cramps. It felt like my period had started, and I was beginning to feel queasy with it too. The crampiness stayed exactly the same for the next few hours, until maybe 8pm-ish. During that time I was nauseous most of the time, but it was like when I have period cramps sometimes, I feel queasy with them. The cramps didn't come in waves, they just felt vice-like and hot. I also felt crampy through the small of my back on my right side.
After 8pm-ish I realised I had ZERO crampiness - after putting the boys to bed, I think... I can't remember exactly when it must have eased off, but it was gone! :) I also didn't feel yucky any more in my tummy, just hungry for dinner. I had been really bloated before so maybe it made me feel queasy? Sometimes that happens. Anyway, all evening I have had no cramps, not even if I think about it REALLY hard, lol! Until about 15 minutes ago (just after midnight - I know I'm naughty staying up so late!), when the bad (definitely bad) cramps started up again. I feel queasy with them again, but not too bad. I am just going to go to bed now, but I wanted to post about the cramps.
Nothing else of note though, I don't think... I have been kind of sensitive to noise again today, for whatever reason, but it has been okay. I have the odd spot that I only ever get with hormones (usually pre-period, but once or twice in early pregnancy - these are just plain HORMONES though, whichever way!). I will see what my temp is tomorrow. If it's down then I suppose I will get my period with a similar length luteal phase to last cycle, and set a new thing with bad cramps in the run-up to a period. I will update tomorrow! :)
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Quick 4DPO note...
Just to update and say that NOW I have ovulated! Of course FF has changed their completely wrong date to an appropriate one, and I'm now 4 days past ovulation. I didn't ovulate this cycle until Cycle Day FORTY!!! Yikers!
My last cycle had a luteal phase of 6 days, so I would maybe expect to improve that by a couple of days at best this cycle? I can't remember how quickly it lengthened after previous babies, and should just go and check my charts, but it's late and I must go to bed! We have a very good chance of conception this cycle (parsnips 2 days before ovulation), and I tend to presume that conception has occurred (as in, sperm meets egg) if there's a good chance, going by our history. The only thing is that it's unlikely that my body is ready to sustain it because of my short luteal phase, as usual when my cycles are returning to normal.
Right now my temps are climbing nicely. I am unusually tired and weepy over things like noise from the kiddies, but that doesn't mean much. Nothing else of note, and I am just waiting to see how long my luteal phase will be this time. I so HOPE it would be long enough to sustain what might have begun, but I know it's very unlikely! Ah well! It's good to have more time, and I know God's timing is perfect anyway!
That is all for now! Wow, a GENUINELY quick post (gasp!)! ;) I will be back soon though!
My last cycle had a luteal phase of 6 days, so I would maybe expect to improve that by a couple of days at best this cycle? I can't remember how quickly it lengthened after previous babies, and should just go and check my charts, but it's late and I must go to bed! We have a very good chance of conception this cycle (parsnips 2 days before ovulation), and I tend to presume that conception has occurred (as in, sperm meets egg) if there's a good chance, going by our history. The only thing is that it's unlikely that my body is ready to sustain it because of my short luteal phase, as usual when my cycles are returning to normal.
Right now my temps are climbing nicely. I am unusually tired and weepy over things like noise from the kiddies, but that doesn't mean much. Nothing else of note, and I am just waiting to see how long my luteal phase will be this time. I so HOPE it would be long enough to sustain what might have begun, but I know it's very unlikely! Ah well! It's good to have more time, and I know God's timing is perfect anyway!
That is all for now! Wow, a GENUINELY quick post (gasp!)! ;) I will be back soon though!
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
No, I haven't ovulated!
So, Fertility Friend says I have ovulated four days ago, but it knows nothing! ;) I'm currently on Cycle Day FORTY or something near that mark! Crazy late for me, except not this time PP somehow. Hope that's not ominous (eg. early menopause or anything like that! :S )! I am still ovulating, just late, and then my LP is still really short.
I *think* I am ovulating today, but time will tell. I have had EWCM for a good few days, and today I have what my dim memory recalls as ovulation pain - BUT I might be wrong, so I will just have to wait and see. I am temping now so I can tell for sure, and my temps are still low right now.
Now I am really starting to get the anticipated baby fever! ;) Funny how it's not seriously there at 6 or 7 months PP, but always always kicks in somewhere after the 8 month mark! I have the sweetest, most darling little baby on my lap (albeit fidgetty and slightly cranky due to both naps being ended early by NOISY brothers who were busy not obeying Mummy!), who I would LOVE to bless with a baby brother or sister. Oh how I would love to see him become a big brother!! :)
The feeling of one missing is getting stronger and stronger all the time. Neil seems fine about one more, if a little, "Are we CRAZY?!?!" at times! ;) I know God may say no. I am doing a lot of praying about it right now. Like I said last entry, more time would be easier, but the other day I was thinking and praying about it... There's just no way that I want to turn down the potential for more children even for a short time, when I have so few years left before this season will be over. It will come in the blink of an eye, I know it. I KNOW that if God is pleased to bless us again with a baby sooner than later, He absolutely will enable me, even if things are hard for a while. I am never going to look back at the end of my life and wish that I had had fewer children because we had "too many" in a small house, or not enough money to be at ease financially, or because I felt overwhelmed and exhausted most days for a year or two. Those things are just piffle in the grand scheme of things - BIG at the time, yes, but when I have my perspective in order many years later, and can look back, the trials over it will see trifling and the children we have around us as a result (and their relationships with each other) will be utterly utterly, can't-even-describe-how-much worth it. So bring it on, please Lord! :) I love love love having a large family, as mine is now becoming! It's a treasure more than anything I could imagine when I only had a couple of kiddies. I'm so blessed, and excited about the possibility of more little blessings!
I *think* I am ovulating today, but time will tell. I have had EWCM for a good few days, and today I have what my dim memory recalls as ovulation pain - BUT I might be wrong, so I will just have to wait and see. I am temping now so I can tell for sure, and my temps are still low right now.
Now I am really starting to get the anticipated baby fever! ;) Funny how it's not seriously there at 6 or 7 months PP, but always always kicks in somewhere after the 8 month mark! I have the sweetest, most darling little baby on my lap (albeit fidgetty and slightly cranky due to both naps being ended early by NOISY brothers who were busy not obeying Mummy!), who I would LOVE to bless with a baby brother or sister. Oh how I would love to see him become a big brother!! :)
The feeling of one missing is getting stronger and stronger all the time. Neil seems fine about one more, if a little, "Are we CRAZY?!?!" at times! ;) I know God may say no. I am doing a lot of praying about it right now. Like I said last entry, more time would be easier, but the other day I was thinking and praying about it... There's just no way that I want to turn down the potential for more children even for a short time, when I have so few years left before this season will be over. It will come in the blink of an eye, I know it. I KNOW that if God is pleased to bless us again with a baby sooner than later, He absolutely will enable me, even if things are hard for a while. I am never going to look back at the end of my life and wish that I had had fewer children because we had "too many" in a small house, or not enough money to be at ease financially, or because I felt overwhelmed and exhausted most days for a year or two. Those things are just piffle in the grand scheme of things - BIG at the time, yes, but when I have my perspective in order many years later, and can look back, the trials over it will see trifling and the children we have around us as a result (and their relationships with each other) will be utterly utterly, can't-even-describe-how-much worth it. So bring it on, please Lord! :) I love love love having a large family, as mine is now becoming! It's a treasure more than anything I could imagine when I only had a couple of kiddies. I'm so blessed, and excited about the possibility of more little blessings!
Sunday, August 21, 2011
CD30 - thoughts and kidney stones...
Sooo, my urine infection that I wrote about last entry was not a urine infection after all. Turned out to be a kidney stone, and the three weeks that followed my entry was pretty dreadful. MUCH more bleeding, and finally excruciating pain and an ambulance trip to the hospital, where I stayed overnight to get my pain under control following diagnosis of a kidney stone with an X-ray. I sort of existed for two weeks as they did nothing about it, just sent me home with the strongest painkillers I could take whilst breastfeeding (it would take something far worse than a kidney stone to stop me breastfeeding!), and Neil had to use up two weeks of holiday time to look after the boys for me. Finally had the stone blasted with shock waves (lithotripsy) and it worked, hooray! It took me a week or so to recover physically all the same, and I am not convinced about my kidney (which was in a bad way, being completely blocked by the stone and swollen up hugely with urine) even now, as I am still having mild pain there...
ANYWAY! So glad to be past that! My temperature dropped the morning before I went into hospital (at 5DPO - still very short luteal phase), so I expected to get my period that day, but I didn't, and I still didn't the day I went into hospital either! I was so glad, because I really didn't need the complication of my period starting while I was unable to move at all due to pain in A&E for 5 hours! The next morning on the ward, the nurses changed my sheets and sent me to get washed in the adjoining bathroom (oh I was so nervous to move!), and THAT'S where I discovered my period had started. Good thing there were no beds on the urology ward, so I had been put on the gynae ward, lol! Plenty of sanitary wear there for someone who only remembered to take what she was wearing into the ambulance with her! ;)
Since then, I have paid the LEAST attention to my cycle that I've EVER paid to any of my cycles, hehe! I just have had no idea where I'm at in terms of Cycle Day, have completely ignored my CM, and have not even thought about temping. All I know is the date of my LMP because they kept asking me for it before I had X-rays to check on the kidney stone over the weeks. Recently I started to wonder where my period might be, and for that matter ovulation! It was beginning to feel like a while since I had had my period. So I went to my chart, updated my last cycle and started charting the last few days - I have no idea about earlier in this cycle, except that I think I had EWCM for a few days around CD14 (two weeks after my period started I think I was aware of that, and thought it was a bit early for me to ovulate yet or something), so I charted that to be aware of it. Haven't really noticed anything much since, so I presumed I haven't ovulated yet. When I checked my chart I found that I'm on Cycle Day THIRTY already!!! Wow, late ovulation! UNLESS I already did ovulate when I wasn't paying attention, and now I'm waiting for my period to start. I was so moody yesterday, enough for it to possibly be PMS... Anyway, I will have to wait and see. The only thing of note today is that I don't think I actually HAVE ovulated yet because I temped at last and got 35.6 (really low, and typical for a pre-ovulatory temp for me), and also I have had EWCM today! Maybe I'll actually ovulate in a few days? Who knows! My cycles are pretty wacky since Samuel, even though they started back earlier than ever. This time "last baby" (!), my cycles had been settling down for some months, and I had had a couple of chemical pregnancies (possibly three?) already, in a row. Samuel is 8 months old today. Benjamin was 8 months old when Samuel was conceived!
My body is NOT in the same place as it was last time, yet! ;) My ovulation is late every cycle, and my luteal phase is still really short. So I will wait and see how it goes.
I am juuuust beginning to get that feeling in my ovaries, lol! ;) That one where I feel hopeful and wistful about maybe getting pregnant again. Before 8 or 9 months, I want to have more babies, but the idea of doing so RIGHT NOW is kind of scary! I'm transitioning into the next stage! :) The other odd thing is that for the last couple of weeks I keep thinking a child is missing all the time. Not the "I knew that we were missing a child in our family..." thing that people say. I mean literally! I get Samuel down from a nap, and they're all playing on the living room floor and then I suddenly have a moment where I leap up panicking because, "Where's the baby?!" Not Samuel - I know he's there. I glance at the video monitor to the room he sleeps in and he's not there, so although I SEE him on the floor, something in me has a moment of, "Where's the baby?!!" Maybe it's because he's growing up - he started pulling to kneeling and then standing this week, and attempted to cruise at the bookshelf this morning. He's eating everything we eat, rocking on hands and knees, and army crawling everywhere at speed. He has no teeth, a head full of sweet blonde hair, and personality emerging left, right and centre. I LOVE HIM!!!
I sometimes do a quick mental count of the boys as they're rushing around in the house, and I get that, "Where's the other one?!!" feeling clutching at my throat again, even though I counted five, and I KNOW I have five children, not six. And you know when you mentally plan things out in a spare moment while you're doing some other task? Well I will be thinking something like, "If I use workboxes for the boys and colour-code them, I could start with red, orange, yellow and green because only four of them will be needing workboxes right now... Once all six of them are old enough, I can add blue and purple..." Spot the mistake! ;) I never do until the complete thought or phrase is out there, and then I think - SIX?! Where did that come from?!! ;)
This is all the stuff that happened when I had two, just Matthew and Arthur, and Matthew was about 7 or 8 months old. I kept referring to the boys as "all three of them" when thinking ahead to future events, or wondering where the baby was when I could see the two of them starting to play together more. I don't think it's a stage of development coincidence, because Matthew was crawling, cruising, etc, far earlier than Samuel. Anyway, I am filled with gladness at the possibility that it might mean that another child is meant for us! Neil had the same feelings as I do with the others (missing child, counting up and still feeling like one's missing, etc), and I haven't thought to ask him whether he's feeling the same again yet.
I just need a little more time to get my body in better condition - I need to start exercising regularly, and haven't been able to due to being set back with illness every few weeks since April (aaaaargh!!!) - no viruses for a good while now, but dang that kidney stone!!! ;) Also I need a little more time to establish homeschooling well this year, and iron out the creases (to make a HUGE understatement, lol!) of having two toddlers/pre-schoolers and a baby AS WELL as two children of school age who need to be doing proper homeschooling now. I'm trying to figure out a schedule for our days as well, and I need time to implement it all. So much so that I have actually prayed that God would allow us a little more time before blessing us with another baby. I WANT Him to! But just a LITTLE more time, that's all. If I get pregnant this cycle, I will rejoice so very very much! :) There's no "worse" option for me at all. A little more time would be a little more space to breathe, that's all. And I don't NEED that. So very glad to turn it all over to God and trust Him entirely! God is good, all the time! :D
Well, I'll try to update briefly (ha!) now and then to keep track of my cycles, especially since the months are passing by now and I'm getting near to the time when all my other babies were conceived (Matthew - 10 months postpartum after Arthur; Nathan - 11 months PP; Benjamin - 9 months PP; Samuel - 8 months PP). I am not even sure what my last luteal phase length was exactly (6 days??) or whether it should even be counted as that long, given that my temp had dropped down for the last two days of that time. Definitely not long enough to support a pregnancy even if conception was to occur. This cycle, who knows? Maybe another 6 day luteal phase? Maybe 7 or 8? Still not long enough, but I will keep track and keep this journal updated about it as I go along.
Thanks for reading, if you are! It's nice to have folks still follow along with my less-than-sane ramblings over my bodily functions, haha! ;) Back soon!
ANYWAY! So glad to be past that! My temperature dropped the morning before I went into hospital (at 5DPO - still very short luteal phase), so I expected to get my period that day, but I didn't, and I still didn't the day I went into hospital either! I was so glad, because I really didn't need the complication of my period starting while I was unable to move at all due to pain in A&E for 5 hours! The next morning on the ward, the nurses changed my sheets and sent me to get washed in the adjoining bathroom (oh I was so nervous to move!), and THAT'S where I discovered my period had started. Good thing there were no beds on the urology ward, so I had been put on the gynae ward, lol! Plenty of sanitary wear there for someone who only remembered to take what she was wearing into the ambulance with her! ;)
Since then, I have paid the LEAST attention to my cycle that I've EVER paid to any of my cycles, hehe! I just have had no idea where I'm at in terms of Cycle Day, have completely ignored my CM, and have not even thought about temping. All I know is the date of my LMP because they kept asking me for it before I had X-rays to check on the kidney stone over the weeks. Recently I started to wonder where my period might be, and for that matter ovulation! It was beginning to feel like a while since I had had my period. So I went to my chart, updated my last cycle and started charting the last few days - I have no idea about earlier in this cycle, except that I think I had EWCM for a few days around CD14 (two weeks after my period started I think I was aware of that, and thought it was a bit early for me to ovulate yet or something), so I charted that to be aware of it. Haven't really noticed anything much since, so I presumed I haven't ovulated yet. When I checked my chart I found that I'm on Cycle Day THIRTY already!!! Wow, late ovulation! UNLESS I already did ovulate when I wasn't paying attention, and now I'm waiting for my period to start. I was so moody yesterday, enough for it to possibly be PMS... Anyway, I will have to wait and see. The only thing of note today is that I don't think I actually HAVE ovulated yet because I temped at last and got 35.6 (really low, and typical for a pre-ovulatory temp for me), and also I have had EWCM today! Maybe I'll actually ovulate in a few days? Who knows! My cycles are pretty wacky since Samuel, even though they started back earlier than ever. This time "last baby" (!), my cycles had been settling down for some months, and I had had a couple of chemical pregnancies (possibly three?) already, in a row. Samuel is 8 months old today. Benjamin was 8 months old when Samuel was conceived!
My body is NOT in the same place as it was last time, yet! ;) My ovulation is late every cycle, and my luteal phase is still really short. So I will wait and see how it goes.
I am juuuust beginning to get that feeling in my ovaries, lol! ;) That one where I feel hopeful and wistful about maybe getting pregnant again. Before 8 or 9 months, I want to have more babies, but the idea of doing so RIGHT NOW is kind of scary! I'm transitioning into the next stage! :) The other odd thing is that for the last couple of weeks I keep thinking a child is missing all the time. Not the "I knew that we were missing a child in our family..." thing that people say. I mean literally! I get Samuel down from a nap, and they're all playing on the living room floor and then I suddenly have a moment where I leap up panicking because, "Where's the baby?!" Not Samuel - I know he's there. I glance at the video monitor to the room he sleeps in and he's not there, so although I SEE him on the floor, something in me has a moment of, "Where's the baby?!!" Maybe it's because he's growing up - he started pulling to kneeling and then standing this week, and attempted to cruise at the bookshelf this morning. He's eating everything we eat, rocking on hands and knees, and army crawling everywhere at speed. He has no teeth, a head full of sweet blonde hair, and personality emerging left, right and centre. I LOVE HIM!!!
I sometimes do a quick mental count of the boys as they're rushing around in the house, and I get that, "Where's the other one?!!" feeling clutching at my throat again, even though I counted five, and I KNOW I have five children, not six. And you know when you mentally plan things out in a spare moment while you're doing some other task? Well I will be thinking something like, "If I use workboxes for the boys and colour-code them, I could start with red, orange, yellow and green because only four of them will be needing workboxes right now... Once all six of them are old enough, I can add blue and purple..." Spot the mistake! ;) I never do until the complete thought or phrase is out there, and then I think - SIX?! Where did that come from?!! ;)
This is all the stuff that happened when I had two, just Matthew and Arthur, and Matthew was about 7 or 8 months old. I kept referring to the boys as "all three of them" when thinking ahead to future events, or wondering where the baby was when I could see the two of them starting to play together more. I don't think it's a stage of development coincidence, because Matthew was crawling, cruising, etc, far earlier than Samuel. Anyway, I am filled with gladness at the possibility that it might mean that another child is meant for us! Neil had the same feelings as I do with the others (missing child, counting up and still feeling like one's missing, etc), and I haven't thought to ask him whether he's feeling the same again yet.
I just need a little more time to get my body in better condition - I need to start exercising regularly, and haven't been able to due to being set back with illness every few weeks since April (aaaaargh!!!) - no viruses for a good while now, but dang that kidney stone!!! ;) Also I need a little more time to establish homeschooling well this year, and iron out the creases (to make a HUGE understatement, lol!) of having two toddlers/pre-schoolers and a baby AS WELL as two children of school age who need to be doing proper homeschooling now. I'm trying to figure out a schedule for our days as well, and I need time to implement it all. So much so that I have actually prayed that God would allow us a little more time before blessing us with another baby. I WANT Him to! But just a LITTLE more time, that's all. If I get pregnant this cycle, I will rejoice so very very much! :) There's no "worse" option for me at all. A little more time would be a little more space to breathe, that's all. And I don't NEED that. So very glad to turn it all over to God and trust Him entirely! God is good, all the time! :D
Well, I'll try to update briefly (ha!) now and then to keep track of my cycles, especially since the months are passing by now and I'm getting near to the time when all my other babies were conceived (Matthew - 10 months postpartum after Arthur; Nathan - 11 months PP; Benjamin - 9 months PP; Samuel - 8 months PP). I am not even sure what my last luteal phase length was exactly (6 days??) or whether it should even be counted as that long, given that my temp had dropped down for the last two days of that time. Definitely not long enough to support a pregnancy even if conception was to occur. This cycle, who knows? Maybe another 6 day luteal phase? Maybe 7 or 8? Still not long enough, but I will keep track and keep this journal updated about it as I go along.
Thanks for reading, if you are! It's nice to have folks still follow along with my less-than-sane ramblings over my bodily functions, haha! ;) Back soon!
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Random pregnancy test
Well I did not ovulate when I said I thought I was, last entry! It was very weird because I had all my classic ovulation signs, and even the very familiar ovulation pain at the end of it all. I started taking my temperature in the mornings right away and have managed to keep that up consistently, but all my temps since then have been my typical pre-ovulation temps, so I was pretty sure I hadn't ovulated.
I have somehow got myself a bit of a horrid urine infection at the moment. I woke up with blood in my urine on Saturday and became increasingly unwell-feeling and crampy with backache during the day, so by the evening I was worried enough about my kidneys (I have a history, and resulting scar tissue in my kidneys) to phone the out-of-hours doctor, who told me to go to the urgent care clinic at the hospital right away. My kidneys turned out to be okay (they are not painful when squished by a doctor, haha!) but they put me on a 3-day course of antibiotics. The doctor asked me when my last period was, and then asked if there was any chance I could be pregnant - I guess they ask just as a routine thing when it comes to prescribing medicine. So I said yes, as there was a teensy chance. He asked permission to do a pregnancy test so I said yes to that as well. I knew there was next to no chance of it being positive but ohhh, it's just inbuilt isn't it, lol! I had that slight adrenaliney joyful feeling sitting there waiting for the test to cook so he could tell me the result! :) He said the pregnancy test was negative, and added, "Which I guess is no bad thing!" given that I'd just told him I am breastfeeding a 6-month-old and have 4 other young children! ;) My grandparents saw us the next day and knew about my poor bladder, so asked worriedly about what the doctor had said and what tests he had done. I mentioned that he'd done a pregnancy test which was negative, and they made a big deal of it being wonderful news, and congratulations, etc! *sigh* Hey ho! I'm lately caring less and less what anyone else thinks, which is healthy and MUCH less stressful! :) Neil says if we have another baby, we are NOT telling my family until like the WEEK before the baby is born, hehe! They're not terribly bad about it, just not that happy at first, and we could do without that I guess.
Anyway, so the test was negative, of course. At the end when I was about to leave with the prescription, I hesitated and said, "And the pregnancy test was definitely negative, right?" Hehe! He gave me an amused smile and walked over to check it again, and held it up, saying, "Just one line!" I just said, "Right. Okay. Just checking!" :) Neil had been asking (pestering!) me to take a pregnancy test in the couple of days beforehand, because he thought I was giving off "pregnant vibes" - I was more irritable and moody in a hormonal way (apparently!), and felt a bit queasy and gaggy at things easily. I was crampy as well. I wonder now if that was just early signs of this UTI? Probably, as those are common symptoms (well, not the moodiness!).
So I am still waiting to ovulate. I think I am somewhere in the 30s in terms of my Cycle Day now. I have lately been having some EWCM again and so I think my body is gearing up for another "go" at ovulating. That seems to be common for me postpartum - I sometimes have a longer cycle where the first run-up to ovulation is fruitless, and then a bit later my body tries again and usually succeeds. Once it was 3 tries though, I think, before ovulation did occur - a VERY long cycle that time! Anyway, it's nice to be temping again, because I can know what my cycle is doing without wondering (and getting pestered to take pregnancy tests when I know I'm not pregnant yet!). I kept telling Neil that my temps were too low :) I think I should probably buy a cheapy pack of pregnancy tests though. Then I would have them ready for any time I really DO wonder in the future. I'll get around to that soon hopefully!
I still have my UTI, blah. STILL blood in my urine, and I hate that. It always bugs me to see blood where it shouldn't be! My sides ache like anything and that bothers me too, but I know how to squish my own kidneys and they aren't tender at all, so I guess it's bladder-related? I feel under the weather and tired and achy along with it. No fever though, thankfully. I finished my course of antibiotics yesterday, so when the symptoms were all still there today I went to the doctor. I had to take all the boys with me, and do a urine sample in one of those tiny 2cm diameter sample tubes (no funnel or anything useful like that!) in a public toilet at the doctor's surgery, with all 5 of my little ones around me! That was NOT fun! I did not have the pushchair with me and really had not thought it out well, as Samuel was in my arms! Thankfully the toilet had a fold-down baby changing mat in the wall next to the toilet, and I lay Samuel in that (it was sort of hammocky so he couldn't roll "up" and out), and had the boys stand around it and play peekaboo over the edge to keep Samuel amused. This kept Samuel more secure and their eyes busily on the baby instead of my antics, lol! I have never been more thankful to have been wearing an ankle-length skirt in my life, haha!
Samuel is now scooting, and scooting pretty fast! He started last week, and ramped up the speed this week. He fell off my bed the other evening and landed on his head, just before bedtime! :( I felt sooooooooo awful. I remember Matthew doing that and I felt terrible then too. He moved so much faster than I expected him to, and suddenly shows an interest in getting to the edge of the bed FORWARDS rather than rolling at it sideways, so that he can look down, and GET down. His interest in things is getting further and further afield from where he is positioned. He spends a lot of time roaming around the living room floor now, never mind the large number of boys around the place, lol! I always put him in the bouncy chair (which he has largely outgrown) or take him with me if I leave the room though. He is keen on paper and card, tissues, BABY WIPES (bleurgh!!), and fluff to chew on, hehe! Funny boy. He seeks all these things out and is coming on leaps and bounds with his fine motor skills practising pincering little bits of tissue or fluff off the laminate floor! He's like a royal at the moment, making his way around while his humble servant (me!) scuttles in front of him, bent over, sweeping his path clear the whole while, hehehe! Laminate floor is fabulous but boy does it need sweeping, especially if it has a wool rug on top of it which sheds as much as a sheep does on a daily basis! Tsk!
Samuel loves the laminate floor! He always starts on the rug where I put him, but he's off it as fast as he can go. He gets a lot further with each little scoot once he's on the laminate, and can swivel on his tummy ever so fast. His eyes get all big and bug out a bit with excitement at the speed sometimes, lol! He's such a sweet funny baby, and the boys spend so much time watching him and giggling! I have a video clip of him the day he started scooting, which I posted at Facebook. I will try to get it on OneTrueMedia.com so I can post it here:
There you go! :) It's a little snippet of an example of how the boys are SO involved with him at all times, constantly amused and excited by his activities and developments. They actually ARGUE about who is spending time with him sometimes, especially about who goes to see him when he wakes from his naps! They find all his expressions, noises, movements, etc, etc, so sweet and funny, even when they're not THAT sweet or funny! ;) Lovely boys!
They are hard work at the moment. I haven't written my other blog for AGES, and when I last did (as Jemma mentioned in her comment last entry), it was a not-too-descriptive brief entry about being in OVER MY HEAD with these children right now, and having no idea what to do about it! I felt a bit hopeless at the time! Things are a little better now that we're FINALLY not ill any more (although we're on Chicken Pox watch starting today for about 10 days! :) ) - it seemed like we were unwell in one way or another for EVER, and it really pulled me down energy-wise. I couldn't keep up with behaviour and school and housework and so on, and ugh. The boys' behaviour is difficult to manage but MUCH more so when they've been ill for an age themselves, OR better but still not doing much because siblings and parents are STILL unwell. Okay so I'm not feeling well right now because I have a UTI, BUT things are much better. We're doing school again consistently and the routine is helping a LOT. I still don't really know what to do about much, but that is okay because I was reminded recently that His grace is sufficient for me, and His strength is made perfect through weakness. BOY did that verse lift me up! I want to put it on the wall - I need to see it so often these days, because I am so very weak at this, and it's refreshing to be reminded where my strength comes from! And grace! Where would I be without it?! In the poo, that's where. Thank you Lord for GRACE! :)
I should be writing this at my other blog! I meant to follow-up, but never found time to do it. Anyway the reason I mentioned it here was to just say, even when things are feeling overwhelming, it really doesn't alter a thing when it comes to babies and getting pregnant. That is all in the Lord's hands. He knows what is best for our family much better than we do, and it is He who provides for our needs and enables us to even DO this job in first place. He will never give us more than we can bear, and it's His desire for us to be fruitful and have babies and babies and babies - I am so thankful! Even when it's hard, I am so thankful and joyfully expectant as I look forward to more! I hope He will bless us with more!
I have somehow got myself a bit of a horrid urine infection at the moment. I woke up with blood in my urine on Saturday and became increasingly unwell-feeling and crampy with backache during the day, so by the evening I was worried enough about my kidneys (I have a history, and resulting scar tissue in my kidneys) to phone the out-of-hours doctor, who told me to go to the urgent care clinic at the hospital right away. My kidneys turned out to be okay (they are not painful when squished by a doctor, haha!) but they put me on a 3-day course of antibiotics. The doctor asked me when my last period was, and then asked if there was any chance I could be pregnant - I guess they ask just as a routine thing when it comes to prescribing medicine. So I said yes, as there was a teensy chance. He asked permission to do a pregnancy test so I said yes to that as well. I knew there was next to no chance of it being positive but ohhh, it's just inbuilt isn't it, lol! I had that slight adrenaliney joyful feeling sitting there waiting for the test to cook so he could tell me the result! :) He said the pregnancy test was negative, and added, "Which I guess is no bad thing!" given that I'd just told him I am breastfeeding a 6-month-old and have 4 other young children! ;) My grandparents saw us the next day and knew about my poor bladder, so asked worriedly about what the doctor had said and what tests he had done. I mentioned that he'd done a pregnancy test which was negative, and they made a big deal of it being wonderful news, and congratulations, etc! *sigh* Hey ho! I'm lately caring less and less what anyone else thinks, which is healthy and MUCH less stressful! :) Neil says if we have another baby, we are NOT telling my family until like the WEEK before the baby is born, hehe! They're not terribly bad about it, just not that happy at first, and we could do without that I guess.
Anyway, so the test was negative, of course. At the end when I was about to leave with the prescription, I hesitated and said, "And the pregnancy test was definitely negative, right?" Hehe! He gave me an amused smile and walked over to check it again, and held it up, saying, "Just one line!" I just said, "Right. Okay. Just checking!" :) Neil had been asking (pestering!) me to take a pregnancy test in the couple of days beforehand, because he thought I was giving off "pregnant vibes" - I was more irritable and moody in a hormonal way (apparently!), and felt a bit queasy and gaggy at things easily. I was crampy as well. I wonder now if that was just early signs of this UTI? Probably, as those are common symptoms (well, not the moodiness!).
So I am still waiting to ovulate. I think I am somewhere in the 30s in terms of my Cycle Day now. I have lately been having some EWCM again and so I think my body is gearing up for another "go" at ovulating. That seems to be common for me postpartum - I sometimes have a longer cycle where the first run-up to ovulation is fruitless, and then a bit later my body tries again and usually succeeds. Once it was 3 tries though, I think, before ovulation did occur - a VERY long cycle that time! Anyway, it's nice to be temping again, because I can know what my cycle is doing without wondering (and getting pestered to take pregnancy tests when I know I'm not pregnant yet!). I kept telling Neil that my temps were too low :) I think I should probably buy a cheapy pack of pregnancy tests though. Then I would have them ready for any time I really DO wonder in the future. I'll get around to that soon hopefully!
I still have my UTI, blah. STILL blood in my urine, and I hate that. It always bugs me to see blood where it shouldn't be! My sides ache like anything and that bothers me too, but I know how to squish my own kidneys and they aren't tender at all, so I guess it's bladder-related? I feel under the weather and tired and achy along with it. No fever though, thankfully. I finished my course of antibiotics yesterday, so when the symptoms were all still there today I went to the doctor. I had to take all the boys with me, and do a urine sample in one of those tiny 2cm diameter sample tubes (no funnel or anything useful like that!) in a public toilet at the doctor's surgery, with all 5 of my little ones around me! That was NOT fun! I did not have the pushchair with me and really had not thought it out well, as Samuel was in my arms! Thankfully the toilet had a fold-down baby changing mat in the wall next to the toilet, and I lay Samuel in that (it was sort of hammocky so he couldn't roll "up" and out), and had the boys stand around it and play peekaboo over the edge to keep Samuel amused. This kept Samuel more secure and their eyes busily on the baby instead of my antics, lol! I have never been more thankful to have been wearing an ankle-length skirt in my life, haha!
Samuel is now scooting, and scooting pretty fast! He started last week, and ramped up the speed this week. He fell off my bed the other evening and landed on his head, just before bedtime! :( I felt sooooooooo awful. I remember Matthew doing that and I felt terrible then too. He moved so much faster than I expected him to, and suddenly shows an interest in getting to the edge of the bed FORWARDS rather than rolling at it sideways, so that he can look down, and GET down. His interest in things is getting further and further afield from where he is positioned. He spends a lot of time roaming around the living room floor now, never mind the large number of boys around the place, lol! I always put him in the bouncy chair (which he has largely outgrown) or take him with me if I leave the room though. He is keen on paper and card, tissues, BABY WIPES (bleurgh!!), and fluff to chew on, hehe! Funny boy. He seeks all these things out and is coming on leaps and bounds with his fine motor skills practising pincering little bits of tissue or fluff off the laminate floor! He's like a royal at the moment, making his way around while his humble servant (me!) scuttles in front of him, bent over, sweeping his path clear the whole while, hehehe! Laminate floor is fabulous but boy does it need sweeping, especially if it has a wool rug on top of it which sheds as much as a sheep does on a daily basis! Tsk!
Samuel loves the laminate floor! He always starts on the rug where I put him, but he's off it as fast as he can go. He gets a lot further with each little scoot once he's on the laminate, and can swivel on his tummy ever so fast. His eyes get all big and bug out a bit with excitement at the speed sometimes, lol! He's such a sweet funny baby, and the boys spend so much time watching him and giggling! I have a video clip of him the day he started scooting, which I posted at Facebook. I will try to get it on OneTrueMedia.com so I can post it here:
There you go! :) It's a little snippet of an example of how the boys are SO involved with him at all times, constantly amused and excited by his activities and developments. They actually ARGUE about who is spending time with him sometimes, especially about who goes to see him when he wakes from his naps! They find all his expressions, noises, movements, etc, etc, so sweet and funny, even when they're not THAT sweet or funny! ;) Lovely boys!
They are hard work at the moment. I haven't written my other blog for AGES, and when I last did (as Jemma mentioned in her comment last entry), it was a not-too-descriptive brief entry about being in OVER MY HEAD with these children right now, and having no idea what to do about it! I felt a bit hopeless at the time! Things are a little better now that we're FINALLY not ill any more (although we're on Chicken Pox watch starting today for about 10 days! :) ) - it seemed like we were unwell in one way or another for EVER, and it really pulled me down energy-wise. I couldn't keep up with behaviour and school and housework and so on, and ugh. The boys' behaviour is difficult to manage but MUCH more so when they've been ill for an age themselves, OR better but still not doing much because siblings and parents are STILL unwell. Okay so I'm not feeling well right now because I have a UTI, BUT things are much better. We're doing school again consistently and the routine is helping a LOT. I still don't really know what to do about much, but that is okay because I was reminded recently that His grace is sufficient for me, and His strength is made perfect through weakness. BOY did that verse lift me up! I want to put it on the wall - I need to see it so often these days, because I am so very weak at this, and it's refreshing to be reminded where my strength comes from! And grace! Where would I be without it?! In the poo, that's where. Thank you Lord for GRACE! :)
I should be writing this at my other blog! I meant to follow-up, but never found time to do it. Anyway the reason I mentioned it here was to just say, even when things are feeling overwhelming, it really doesn't alter a thing when it comes to babies and getting pregnant. That is all in the Lord's hands. He knows what is best for our family much better than we do, and it is He who provides for our needs and enables us to even DO this job in first place. He will never give us more than we can bear, and it's His desire for us to be fruitful and have babies and babies and babies - I am so thankful! Even when it's hard, I am so thankful and joyfully expectant as I look forward to more! I hope He will bless us with more!
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