8 weeks, 6 days - ultrasound!

Sorry to take a few days to update on the ultrasound! I went for my early scan at 8w3d, and everything looks wonderful! :) I'm so happy and thankful! There is one sweet stumpy little baby in there - as I watched the baby on the monitor, I had such an urge to change the nickname to "Stumpy"! It seemed so fitting - such darling stumps for little legs and arms, and such a short "stump" of a little person in general, hehe! But Matthew chose Crispy - actually I have written it wrongly all this time, because he meant it like a Rice Krispie, so the spelling should be "Krispie" (cute little piece of cereal, as opposed to dried out 'n' crunchy, as in "crispy duck"!), and I love that. So Krispie it is! Stumpy, in my heart, as well though! :)

The baby measured 2 days ahead, so they have dated my pregnancy as 8w5d and told me to wait until my 12 week scan for confirmation of dates. I'll go with my original dates for now in any case. I will be 9 weeks pregnant tomorrow! I am glad for the nausea part to be passing quickly. I have found that if I COMPLETELY avoid any trace of onion, I have actually quite manageable morning sickness. Nausea all the time, but bearable for sure. Onion? Even in tomato ketchup or stock or gravy? Three days of misery, where I can't function properly. I'm so grateful there's something simple I can do to help myself, but I really really feel silly when I eat something without thinking and then have the sinking feeling knowing that the next few DAYS will be hard to get through. Hopefully I'm learning! ;)

The technician was really nice and gave me two pictures! They're pretty much the same, but see?! My Krispie little stump stretched out a tiny leg! I don't know that it's meant to be possible to do that yet, but it certainly looked like that's what was happening. Those teeny leggies aren't even fully developed yet! The baby's length from crown to rump was 2.1cm - awww!





I love the beautifully round amniotic sac around the baby (the fine white line) in the larger gestational sac (the black part). Such a perfect bubble! I am SO completely in love with this little baby all over again, and yet again sitting here marvelling at the fact that one can fall in love so deeply, equally for multiple multiple children. It never runs out, it just multplies, and it's a wonderful thing to experience.

I had some quite heavy spotting (not flow as such though) later after the scan, and the next day, but it has pretty much faded off now. I asked about the source, but she couldn't see any evidence of a bleed in there. Perhaps I'd had a small bleed and it had pretty much finished bleeding out, I don't know. Anyway she saw nothing to worry about, so that's reassuring. I asked what I should do if I continue to have bleeding or spotting and she said to call the Early Pregnancy Unit and ask the advice of the doctors there. They may check my scan and advise me over the phone, or they may ask me to come back for a re-scan. I hope I just don't have any further bleeding. That would be nice! :)

Well I have now been up and down to Elijah three times since starting this post, and it's getting really late now. I don't know if it's the fact that he had beans for lunch today for the first time, and thus has some wind, or the fact that he cut his 5th tooth yesterday... Anyway he's wakeful! So I had better go and snuggle up next to him and try to get some sleep! Just had to update, because I really should have days ago - sorry!

Will try to update soon! :)

7 weeks, 5 days

Too late to even start a post, but it's Monday in the morning and I know that'll be it for a while, before I'm able to update again! The weeks are so busy! There's stuff I MUST write about, so I will try to be quick. Elijah is due to wake for a feed pretty soon, so we'll see.

My nausea is easing. At first I wasn't concerned about that, I mean, I'm still nauseous. But this is the 4th or 5th day that it's definitely not "bowl-worthy". At first I thought I was just doing a really good job "managing" it more efficiently, having learnt my strengths and weaknesses for this particular pregnancy (which happens around a couple of weeks after it kicks in, usually) - what to eat, what not to eat, when to eat, what subtle signals to recognise and IMMEDIATELY respond to, and in what way, etc. Those things help a bit, either in somewhat easing the symptoms, or at least if that doesn't work they might help the symptoms not continue spiralling any worse.

But hmmm. The evenings are okay. I can eat, and it doesn't take me all evening to pick through a plateful of a quarter of a portion of food that I can barely look at, with endless pauses to pace about hoping I keep what I just ate down. I am forgetting I felt like that - that's how much better it is, and now that I'm noticing the difference it's starting to unnerve me just a little. I would expect this, HOPE for this around the 12 week mark, but at 7 weeks? Hmmm.

The spotting continues, without any days in between now, and yesterday was the heaviest day of spotting so far. It's still only brown, which is old blood, and that is a VERY reassuring sign, I know. But... I am feeling uncomfortable and crampy pretty much all the time. I feel heavy and achy low in the pit of my abdomen, and am aware of "leaky" sensations a lot through the day, and as much as I strive to ignore it and feel confident that it's nothing to worry about (probably), it still does start to just nag at the back of my mind a little, especially with the nausea easing up so much. I am reassured that when I don't eat for a couple of hours, the queasiness that's always present ramps up to really yucky nausea and I can't think of any food to eat because it all makes me feel too horrible. So that's good, then.

Heather reminded me of the contact I had (through her) last pregnancy - the head of community midwifery at the hospital (her title now is Clinical Midwifery Manager, which is a very high-up position at our large local hospital), who - if you remember - made all the consultants go away and ended up coming out to my house and delivering Elijah in the end! :) She's lovely, and a very good friend of Heather's. I contacted her to self-refer this time around, and Heather suggested I call her again since I was getting nowhere with trying to get an early scan without having a GP referral. I had her extension number and also her bleep number, and felt really awkward bleeping her incase she was in the middle of an important meeting (!!) but Heather said she knew she wouldn't mind. And she didn't! :) She said, "Leave it with me, honey, I'll see what I can do!" And voila, a lady who I don't know called me the next day apologising for the delay, and telling me a scan has been arranged for me on Friday this week!! Wow. I am so grateful for wonderful contacts. Such a blessing! :)

So at least I have that to look forward to. I hope everything will be fine. I hope it's just another subchorionic haemmorrhage, like all the other bleeds have been over the years. That would make sense, and if so I am just grateful that I haven't had a heavy red bleed, since that's the usual symptom of one. Sometimes I've had a big bleed that has just "sat" in there and reabsorbed, and I've lost a little of it as brown bleeding or spotting over weeks and weeks. I think I prefer that to suddenly having loads of red bleeding - that's so scary. I hope it's just that, and not that I've lost a twin or something, and that's the reason for the drop in severity of nausea. If I have, I hope that I will see evidence at the scan. I would prefer that than to never know.

Heather is still wanting the scan to confirm either the presence of twins or a singleton. My womb is really palpable, even when I'm sitting up, and I'm wondering perhaps if the achy discomfort might be to do with it being a bit squashed where it is, like I usually have around the 10-12 week mark. But it could just be because my womb is irritated by the bleeding - I have had plenty of experience of that too. It could easily just be that. Friday is less than a week away now, but it feels like a while to wait, even so. I'm nervous, but not scared. I will be going on my own, as usual, because Neil has to stay home to look after the boys. He will take the morning off work for it, though I am not sure his boss will be thrilled. We don't have anyone else who can watch them for us. Heather was going to come with me to my scan but she is being a doula for someone who is having to have a planned caesarean on Thursday, so she'll be away on Friday too.

I want to post the photos of the boys that I used to announce my pregnancy on Facebook, but I might have to do that another time. Everyone has been so nice so far! One lady from the church we used to go to only mentioned the fact that we need to move house, etc, but I asked her if that was code for 'congratulations' which I think got the point across! ;) She congratulated us then! I told a lady at church today that I'm expecting another baby, and she was thrilled and said she would pray that we find somewhere to move soon, so that was nice and positive, and I enjoyed it. :) It's a shame there has to be any caution in approaching people with such wonderous news, that they might not be 100% nice in response... But so far, so good! I haven't approached my grandparents yet, but I plan to do so with a cheerful photocard, congratulating them on their upcoming 10th great-grandchild! ;)

I still haven't taken a belly pic. Must do that soon!

What else, quickly? I have been feeling quite faint or dizzy sometimes, lately. This morning and church I felt so weak and exhausted and faint and weird. Things looked too white and I got worried for a while that I'd have a "moment" or something with a baby in my arms! :S But I didn't, and Elijah fell asleep on my tummy for basically the whole service, and I felt quite a lot better by the end. The children came in early from their groups and handed out potted flowering plants to all the ladies (it's Mothering Sunday (mother's day) today in the UK), and that was lovely! I am such a very very blessed mummy, and so thankful for all my blessings! :)

7 weeks pregnant

I meant to update much earlier than this - it has been almost a week! Frustrating comments and nausea have left me without as much desire or ability to post as usual. And tonight I have to be quick, or as quick as I can be, anyway! ;) I feel really nauseated and just want to go to bed and shut it out.

This week has been a week of probably my worst nausea yet, amongst my previous pregnancies. I think times with Arthur's pregnancy and evenings with Matthew's pregnancy might be similar though. I am SO thankful not to be throwing up. Still keeping the bowls around though! ;)

Several things have happened that I need to make note of! Oh, I forgot to start a belly gallery! I can't believe I forgot! I always start those at 5 weeks, and here I am 7 weeks pregnant without having given it a moment's thought until now! :S I will try to sort that out soon.

I am spotting. I have been spotting for most of the past week, on and off. I will spot for a couple of days and then nothing the next day, and then new spotting again for a couple of days, etc. Right now it's fading off after 2 days. I tried to get an early scan but they insist I have to have a GP referral, and I have good reasons not to approach my GP re. my pregnancy at the moment. I am reassured that it's brown spotting, and not red, and that I've been here and done that with all my other pregnancies (except Samuel's) to some degree or other. Also I feel reeeaaally sick, so that's definitely a good sign! :) So I am planning to hang in there for now. I should get a letter this week from social services to say they have closed the case (at last! It should never have happened!), but I feel better if I wait for that first, to be sure. After that maybe I will go see a doctor that I haven't seen before at the surgery and ask for the referral for a scan. I will feel better seeing what the source of the bleeding is, as always, and also to know for sure what is going on with my little one. Right now I am trusting that all is well, and praying that I do not have any red bleeding, because that would worry me more. I am generally uncomfy and somewhat crampy whenever I spot or bleed during pregnancy - it seems to make my womb irritable - so that isn't the most comforting feeling either.

We told the boys at the weekend! :) They were, predictably, absolutely ecstatic! :) I made a treasure hunt with rhyming clues and wrapped the items that the clues led to, all of which were clues themselves. There were only 4 - a toy with the number 7 on it, a piece of paper saying "October", a framed photo of all 6 boys that we have in our living room, and a Willow Tree figurine of a couple having a cuddle with both of them laying their hands on the pregnant tummy of the woman. :) I videoed the whole process, but it took several minutes and I decided to video it on the smart phone, without realising that it would be a MASSIVE file that would never upload or transfer anywhere due to its size! :( I have managed to get it on my laptop at last, but can't seem to do anything else with it! It's great quality, so maybe I'm going to end up having to do something really lame like video the laptop playing it with my camera, which is much poorer in quality (which is why I didn't use it in the first place! Tsk!). I definitely will share it one way or the other, but it's taking me a while to try and figure it out.

Anyway, they were screaming and jumping up and down, and Matthew went a bit berserk! I was behind the camera, but when they realised and started jumping up and down, I was so overwhelmed (totally didn't expect it!) that I had to blink tears away for quite a while to see through the viewfinder properly! I found it really moving and got very emotional that my children were beside themselves with joy that we were going to have another baby :) Nathan remained the calmest so I asked him afterwards if it was happy news or if it might take a bit of time to get used to, and he looked at me like I was CRAZY and said, "No, it's NICE news! I'm just thinking of ideas for what to call the baby!" :) The boys have chosen the nickname "Crispy" for while the baby is in my tummy and we don't know if it's a boy or a girl, and thus has no name yet. Matthew wanted that when I was pregnant with Samuel, but Arthur had already chosen Cornflake for him, and then when I was pregnant with Elijah, Matthew was thrilled that he would get to use Crispy at last, but after we okayed it, Nathan suddenly said, "What about Sausage?!" and Matthew graciously told him what a great name that was, and said we'd use that instead! :) So I'm really pleased that he gets to use his Crispy at last! Arthur told me that he was so happy that he could barely finish reading the last bit of the poem I wrote that put the clues together and announced the news to them, bless him!

I told Arthur this morning about my morning sickness. I haven't mentioned it to the children otherwise. He said, "Ohhhh, THAT'S why you keep sneaking off to have a snack! And why we haven't been doing school much lately! I hope it carries on for a few more months!" Cheeky! He isn't too cooperative with spelling and maths lessons lately. Sadly for him, later that very morning I pulled out the spelling books and we did a lesson! ;) He did otherwise teach himself the month-by-month climate and natural habitat of the Gobi Desert, along with general knowledge of all the creatures that live there, this morning, so I'd say he's doing fine despite my lack of ability this past week! ;)

So my little Crispy is now about 7mm long! Like a little baked bean! :) At exactly today's gestation, I saw my first baby for the first time. I was bleeding during Arthur's pregnancy, and being new to it, I was sure I was losing my baby. We couldn't see him at all at the first scan, and my follow-up was at 7 weeks exactly. There he was, a beautiful little baked bean with a bright flickering heart! :) Very fitting to call him "Bean" during my pregnancy - that's just who he was! So I know that's what Crispy looks like on ultrasound today. Crispy is busy forming an oesophagus, developing kidneys from the ureteric buds, and growing outer ears! Amazing. He/she already has limb buds which are developing sections (forearm, upper arm, shoulder, hand plate), and his/her brain has already tripled in size in the last couple of days.

I have been able to feel my womb since I first thought to check at 6 weeks and 3 days. I thought I must be crazy at first, and was surely palpating a stool (!) or something instead, haha! ;) But 3 days later I most certainly could feel a proper womb-feeling shape (just the smooth solidness - I can't explain, but I know the feeling of uterus from anything else. It feels muscular), about 3 inches across, just pushing forwards. It doesn't stick out as such, but is easy to find. It's sitting way above my pubic bone - probably comes up just about halfway between my pubic bone and my tummy button, which is reeeeeeeeeeally high for before 7 weeks pregnant! :S Of course immediately everyone's thoughts go to twins, and I guess that's a possibility, but I also wonder if it's normal to be able to feel your womb much sooner and much higher when you have had lots of babies, especially lots of babies close together. Everything is much looser and flopping around in there, lol! ;) So while I am drawn to gently feeling the top of my womb each day, I am slightly baffled while I do so, wondering what (if anything) it means! I'm nervous about twins... I think, "How will I manage?!?!" but I know that God is the only one who can give the gift of twins, and so if He is pleased to do so, He must mean to enable me. Otherwise, I am trying not to jump to conclusions and dwell on that really. I will wait and see if I can get a scan next week. I still haven't heard back from the midwives with my booking appointment and 12-week scan appointment, and I should have heard from them a week ago, so I might chase them up soon. Just in case the self-referral form didn't go through or something awful like that! At 7 weeks, if they haven't received my referral, my hospital will be fully booked and I will be forced to go to a different one. I absolutely can not do that (for many reasons), so I am getting nervous that it didn't go through or something! :S

What else? I told my brother on the phone that we're expecting another baby. He is always pleased for us, and he was this time, but then confided that he was anxious that I would be at greater risk with each baby of "snuffing it" in childbirth like women used to do in the old days when they had lots of babies - bless his sweet heart! He was asking me to consider not having "many more", and then explained his worries. I reassured him with the latest research! :)

I am still dropping hints at Facebook, and enjoying myself very much, hehe! So far, after the ones I mentioned last entry, I have referred to Matthew's 7th birthday, posted a link to an article titled, "7 ways to praise your children for 7 days", talked about Arthur having lost 7 teeth so far, and this photo of my sweet little Samuel - slightly blurred in the background is the framed photo of the boys and the figurine! :)



Today I dropped two hints - the first referred to my school-age children playing upstairs, while the 4 little ones were downstairs with me. Well, I now have 3 school-age children! ;) And the second was just spur-of-the-moment - it's such a beautiful spring day today, the first one this year, and I posted about how lovely it was, and that there were signs of new life everywhere! :)

I am supposed to have the photo that I planned to take, to announce my pregnancy, by now, but I haven't sorted it out yet, so I guess I'll keep dropping little hints! ;) It's fun anyway!

Okay, I feel too sick to carry on, and I need to sleep anyway, but I will update again soon!

6 weeks, 1 day

Definitely my worst morning sickness yet. Not being sick, but have a bowl upstairs and a bowl downstairs, and very nervous about the prospect of needing them. Can not possibly feel more like being sick without actually being sick, and yet it's ALL. THE. TIME. from opening my eyes in the morning to losing consciousness late at night. Have been panicking about it a bit the last couple of mornings, but I have still made it through the day "intact". It's desperate though, getting through the day. Each day feels like several - three or four at least, because every morning I genuinely can't get my head around the fact that I am still only one more day pregnant than I was 3 days ago when I last checked. It actually feels like that! I can't BELIEVE I am only 6 weeks and ONE day pregnant, and it's so discouraging because the last 3 days have been, "I can't do this, I just CAN'T, I'll never make it through the day!" To get through it and have the reassurance that a week has passed would have made it bearable, but it's just the day of turning 6 weeks, the day before it, and the day after. Urrrggghhh...

I absolutely do not know how vomiting mamas ever make it through a day, let alone hundreds of them! :S

On a more positive note (I am still overjoyed to actually be pregnant!), I am having a little bit of fun with announcing my pregnancy at Facebook. I am not sure exactly how yet, but I am enjoying figuring out little clues to drop! If you are friends with me there, please don't comment on them - well, in such a way as to attract attention to them. I'm sure they'll be too obvious to last long, but I'm having fun anyway. Yesterday I posted a funny picture of a mummy dog with 7 little puppies all standing to attention around her. Deborah pointed out (in a private message) that there's an 8th one in there, which made me slightly nervous, lol! Heather still thinks the morning sickness might point to twins, even though it's not as bad as all that. It's worse than my norm, is all.

Today I randomly mentioned something about wanting the boys to be in bed at 7. ;) Everything relates to 7, well, most of them. I know, subtle as a sledgehammer, but like I say, I'm having fun! :) I am wondering about doing 7 days of clues (by which time we plan to have told the boys - I am struggling to hide my symptoms from them, and so far am riding it on the coldy virus I'm recovering from - not letting them know it's nausea I'm dealing with, just the fact that I don't feel well), and then a photographic announcement of some sort (I'm wondering about photos of the boys in some way... I'll post here too, when I have it sorted!) and then a video of the boys' reactions when we tell them. I'm so desperate to avoid the lovely moment of telling them having to be in the form of reassurance because Mummy has just thrown up. :S The sooner we can tell them, the better, but today I had the Health Visitor round for Samuel's 2-year check (went great!) and tomorrow we have a final visit from a social worker so they can write up their report, which apparently WILL confirm that we are great parents to lovely children who they have no concerns over. Phew. Still can't breathe easy yet, and I absolutely do not want them to know about the pregnancy at this stage, so we can't risk one of the children spilling the beans by accident. Today was fine, but I was very nervous about staying well enough through the appointment to not raise suspicion. I am really nervous about that tomorrow as well. We have 4 children to take for vaccinations, 2 hours before the SW visits us. Bleurgh. No idea how I'll get through that. Neil is home in the afternoon for that visit, so he is going to help with the vaccination appointments as well.

Okay, feeling too sick to write any more, and am going to try to eat something to take the edge off it (hopefully) so that I am able to brush my teeth, and then go to bed. Elijah has been very unsettled during the evenings this week so far, and awake and crying in arms until 10 or 11pm. Very tiring. He looks like he might get his 5th tooth soonish, so maybe it's that?

5 weeks, 6 days - bleurgh!

Really just a quick post to say, ugggggghhhhhhh I feel soooooo sick!!! :S I guess it did start mild because it was early, or something, like Samuel's pregnancy exactly (except a bit earlier this time). I seem to be prone to having a ton of air in my stomach which I can actually hear squelching about when I move or breathe in and out (!!). If I ever get that at other times, it makes me feel somewhere between queasy and really nauseous, until I can shift the air and burp. How nice! ;) Anyway, for some reason, I seem to be having this problem pretty much 24/7 at the moment, and so I feel like being sick most of the time. I haven't been (oh please Lord, may I NOT) but the nausea is just so overwhelming. Eating is hard because I feel like I'm putting food down past an urge in the opposite direction, uggghhh.

BUT! On the rare occasions when the wind problem seems to inexplicably be gone for a few hours, my nausea is more normal-morning-sickness-esque. It doesn't have that same hollow, about-to-vomit feeling, and it is actually moderate at the worst it gets - really quite manageable as far as morning sickness goes. I wish I could just sort out the cause for this trapped air thing, and maybe it wouldn't be so bad right now. This is day 3 or 4 like it, I think. Neil was off work Thursday and Friday because of my birthday, and then I was too ill to be out of bed much on Friday so he stayed home that day too. I've had the weekend to try to recover further from the viral thingy, and I'm on the mend. I am having weirdly strong post-viral fatigue though, and to say it is terrifying is a major understatement. It's like physical flash-backs to the 2 years I spent housebound with M.E. and I just never, ever (ever) want to revisit that feeling. Ever again. Ever. I hope it passes soon. I think I am a bit stronger today than yesterday, but Neil is back at work today.

Today has been okay, mostly. Just the constant nausea. I have wiped poo off bottoms x2, changed pooey nappies x2, and made lunch. Those have been the hardest parts. Breakfast was okay because the nausea wasn't quite so bad yet, but urrrghh, lunch... Now I am sitting in the kitchen, trying to cope with the smell of a pooey nappy deep in the bin, which I can't stomach emptying right now, sitting with a classpack of Crayola crayons under my nose, because somehow that seems a neutralising fresh fragrance to me right now. Weird! NOT a craving of any sort, just a pleasing smell when there's a horrid one around. I need to make the boys some dinner, but I can't face it. My mouth is just watering like crazy and I can't bear to even think about what food to make them, let alone actually go and look at it.

Of course, this is a marvellously good sign! :) My little baby must be growing well in there! I'm delighted about that, and it is a happy consolation while I feel like this. It's a bit daunting to think that I'm not even 6 weeks pregnant yet, and it could last 6, 8, 10, 12, or even 14 more weeks. Bleurgh! I'm trying to think about happy or exciting milestones - only a couple of weeks until I can start thinking about getting my doppler out in the next few days to listen for the baby's heart beating! I LOVE that moment! 8 weeks is a pretty grim time for nausea, but there's that lovely highlight for me, in there.

I told Neil about the name Toby, and how I feel about it. I told him even if we don't use it, I would love to keep the pattern we've got going - a different letter of the alphabet for each child. It wasn't intentional to start with, but I like it! He likes that idea too.

Heather keeps wondering about twins again, because my morning sickness started earlier than usual this time. The thought is VERY scary to me this time around! :S But who knows! I know my chance goes up the older I get.

I had a bit of brown spotting - I think I mentioned it last entry - on my birthday, and again the next day, but nothing since. I'm keeping a close eye all the time though.

I can't remember if I said a couple of weeks ago, but when I weighed myself then, I was 9st 7.5lbs, so that is my starting weight this time. So-so, for me! ;) I took my blood pressure yesterday because I felt so faint and dizzy (things kept starting to "white-out") and it was scaring me so I wanted to see if it was blood pressure related, or maybe it was just part of the post-viral thing. Anyway, 110/60 - very normal for me.

Okay I am feeling too sick and mouth-watery to type any longer. Neil will be home in 45 minutes, but it should be bedtime for the boys right after that, so it would not be good if I haven't even fed them yet! I have done school today. Absolutely determined to try to keep that going no matter what. With Samuel I couldn't - I stopped for 3 months, and I don't want to do that this time, with the boys that bit older and needing to keep up with school more. Also certain people watching us all the time, ugh. I am desperate to maintain their schooling. Today school has been on-and-off lessons from about 10.15am to 5ish in the afternoon. Plenty of stops for snuggles, putting Elijah to bed and getting him up, snacks, lunch, playing, too much TV, etc. Arthur was done with his school work by 11.30am! Early for him - he was very pleased! :) I am only teaching "core" subjects. The rest is autonomous (unschooled learning) - or "child-led". They learn tons from the child-led part! Today I taught Arthur maths and then spelling and handwriting. I managed to do a craft activity with Benjamin and Samuel (rarely manage to fit that in, but I am so desperate to, more often) and then Nathan joined in at the end, and went on to do his pre-writing and numeracy workbooks. I taught Matthew maths after lunch, and then a reading lesson. Nathan still needs his maths lesson, but I am not sure I can manage it now. Elijah is so clingy right now, and screams and cries clinging to the bars of the safety gate at the kitchen while I'm trying to teach lessons at the kitchen table! Makes it kind of difficult for the boys to concentrate, so then I pick him up and hold him while I teach, but lately I'm physically tired out when holding him, and also he is quite the lungey, squirmy wriggler when being held, and gets into mischief if I put him on the floor near me! We rush to get lessons done when he's napping!

Anyway, I will update again soon. I am excited that I'm 6 weeks pregnant tomorrow - another week down! But slightly dreading each day ahead as I know it will be hard to face with all the nausea. Sometimes it improves a lot just for lying down and resting for a couple of hours, but PROPER rest, not just being horizontal in parenting mode! That doesn't seem to have the same effect. And I can never, ever, expect to have the slightest rest at this stage of my life! At the weekend it helped, so hopefully Neil will let me rest to tackle the nausea at the weekends, maybe. I try to make the most of the times (twice) when I go upstairs and lay down to breastfeed Elijah to sleep for his nap. If I pretend I'm going to bed and ignore the screaming and bashing about downstairs (!!) then I sometimes trick my body into resting enough to take the edge off the nausea by the time I get up again when Elijah has fallen asleep (about 5-10 mins later).

Of course, I am also chanting regularly, "It's soooo worth it, it's soooo worth it!" :) Because it totally IS!! And it will pass. Faster with each pregnancy, as time seems to go faster each time, so that is in my favour too. :)

[ETA: 30 mins later: Praise the Lord for Tropicana tropical juice! Half a glass later and I'm simultaneously holding wiggly 'Lijah on my hip, stirring porridge (breakfast for dinner tonight), and even able to jokingly answer the slightly whiney question: "What's for food?!" with a cheery, "Poo on sticks!" - just as my own mother used to, bless her! ;) Still feel very sick but at least a bit more able.]

5 weeks, 2 days pregnant - wonderful milestone!

It is my birthday today! :) I am 37 - phewee! Can't believe I am that "old", lol!

Today, Neil is off work because it's my birthday. :) I am having a nice day to some degree, but mainly I am not well today. I feel dreadful with some fluey-coldy thing which Neil had reeeally mildly earlier in the week, but it has whacked me over the head like nothing else! That is quite normal in pregnancy, to get things badly even if you normally don't, because of a lowered immune system - one of the body's mechanisms to ensure that the little one doesn't get rejected. Anyway, I don't even like to take paracetamol in my first trimester, so I feel really rotten. I think I would feel a lot better if I could just take something for the aches and so on, but it will pass. I have had to keep going back to bed today as being up and dealing with the little ones makes me feel breathless and unwell after about 20 minutes. I am going to have another go at having a birthday when I feel better! :) I did get some lovely presents and cards, and my little ones drew me pictures and wrapped me things we already have around the house, and cute things like that! :)

My absolutely hands-down FAVOURITE present today is from God. I am 5 weeks and 2 days pregnant. That is precisely the day that the cardial tubes fuse together to form an S-shaped bend, and instantaneously, the rudimentary heart begins to beat for the first time. Today my baby has a heartbeat. There is nothing more awesome that I could possibly want for my birthday! :) When I realised earlier in the week that it would happen on my birthday, it made me so happy, and I really looked forward to today because of it! :)

The other thing I have today, for the first time, is a slight bit of brown spotting, but I am hoping that's fine. I am keeping an eye on it, but it really is hardly anything at all. I have some slightly crampy discomfort but nothing more than I have been getting from time to time, most days, anyway. I will see how that goes.

I self-referred myself (thanks to having the personal contact details of the head of community midwives at the hospital, from last time around!) to the midwives via a form I filled in online, at the weekend. They are obliged to send a copy to my GP, but hopefully they won't even read it, just put it in my file. I had to fill in a lot of details about my past obstetric history and so on. Glad I know the various abbreviations and such, that make it easier to fill in these forms without a midwife being there to do it for me! I should hear back from the team of midwives within 10 days with a first appointment date and also a date for my nuchal scan (at 12 weeks) - exciting! :) If my spotting continues for a while or gets any heavier, I will self-refer for an early scan, for reassurance.

I am still feeling morning sick, so that is a great sign. It is not at all bad - it seems pretty mild as far as my personal experience with morning sickness goes. It did start earlier than ever before, and I wondered if it might get worse as I approach the usual time for morning sickness starting. It started earlier than usual (5 weeks exactly) with Samuel, seemed mild-ish, and got a lot worse after the first week, so I'm still holding my breath and waiting to see! Nervous about that prospect. With Samuel I had to stop homeschooling for months, it was that bad. With Elijah it started a bit later than usual but was milder, and so school continued without any problems. It was so manageable, even though I felt sick and yucky most of the day, and I am reeeeally hoping for that kind of experience this time. I just really wish it could be mild enough so that I can carry on unhindered, with school and mothering and meal-preparation, and so on. It would be so nice! :) It started a week ago tomorrow, but normally wouldn't start until a few days from now, so we'll see.

We still haven't told the boys, and I am still thinking about how to tell. I think I would love to take a photo of them as well as the announcement, in some way that announces our new baby on the way. I am enjoying thinking about the various possibilities there too! :)

One of my presents today was a Willow Tree pregnancy figurine! I have loved that one for years, and I'm so happy to have one! It makes my heart happy every time I look at it!

Well, there is probably more I could write about, but I think I will just update again another time. I am not feeling good and I should probably rest a bit before helping with the boys' bedtime. I'm so thankful for Neil being at home today. He is back to work tomorrow, and I'm quite nervous about how I will manage the boys while I am like this. Hopefully I will somehow be over the worst by the morning!

4 weeks, 4 days - test pic

I have arrived at 18DPO! That is an established pregnancy, and my final day of temping and testing, as I always do (unless I bleed just before, in which case I might temp a bit longer, but so far this pregnancy, no spotting or bleeding!).

My temp went up a lot at 16DPO the day after my last blog post, so even though I planned to test at 16DPO, because I did so the day before and had a darker positive line, and then got a great rise in temperature in the morning, I decided not to test that day. My temp has gone up a touch each day since then - I had my highest temp yet this morning! :) I did my last pregnancy test today and was really thrilled and relieved to see a line that, at first, looked almost as dark as the control line! It faded a bit but it's still good and dark. I took a photo of all my test sticks for prosperity (!) - the top 3 are the more sensitive tests (10 mIU) at 8, 9 and 10DPO, and the bottom set of 5 are the less sensitive (25 mIU - standard pregnancy test strength) test sticks. I tried to write the DPO on them but I only have a thick sharpie marker, lol! The numbers haven't come out too clearly therefore! Oh well! ;)

Top one is 10DPO, the evening test after saving my wee a LOT longer than I had for the morning test on the more more sensitive stick. Then 12DPO, 14DPO, 15DPO (see the difference in one day, compared with the minimal difference from 12 to 14DPO?!), and today's is at the bottom - 18DPO.



So excited and thrilled to relax a little bit more (I know, I know, there are no guarantees, but I will enjoy it for all I'm worth for as long as I have it!) and just BE pregnant!! I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant!!! Wheeeeeee! :D It just feels SO surreal, and I feel incredibly blessed to be allowed to sit here, pregnant at the age of almost 37 (it's my birthday on Thursday - hello Advanced Maternal Age!), for the seventh time! Praise the Lord, oh my soul, and let all that is within me praise His name!!! :)

Well, some newsy pregnant (eeeep!!) things:

Yesterday evening we ate late - after the boys went to bed. It was supposed to be "date night" but Neil has come down with a cold that he's picked up at work, and we were both sooooo tired. We did eat and chat, but let the more romantic side of the date night go this time! ;) Anyway, it was later than we usually eat. While I was waiting for the food to be ready, I realised I was feeling a tad queasy. I get queasy quite a lot, because I'm prone to it as an expression of anxiety, and also it's a really common symptom of IBS for me - full on nausea is more like it, often. Anyway, THIS wasn't the same type of queasy. This was suspiciously travel-sick queasy, and that can only mean morning sickness, for me. I recognised it straight away. But I was only 4 weeks and 3 days - aaaaargh!! With my first 4 babies, I could time the start of my morning sickness to the day - it ALWAYS started on the dot of 5w6d. Bizarre, but there we go! With Samuel it started a few days earlier, which threw me off! And then Elijah's started on the dot of 5 weeks, exactly. Which was "different", so I wondered if he would be a girl. But no! ;) His started earlier and ended later, but was milder, as though it was "diluted" somewhat by being spread out a bit more - funny analogy, but that's how it felt!

So I thought, SURELY not?! Surely not earlier than 5 weeks?! And what does it mean for the level of intensity that it might reach when I'm between 5 and 6 weeks (when it really starts to kick in normally)? Nervous. I felt better for eating dinner. Evenings are my worst time for morning sickness - they always have been. And morning sickness is always worse when my stomach is empty. So a touch of queasiness one evening when I hadn't eaten isn't too surprising, it just slightly unnerves me that I was barely 4 and a half weeks pregnant! I am not sure if I have had any sort of quease that early before, but I will have to double check my blogs and my chart notes to be sure.

I am trying to eat protein-rich meals and snacks this pregnancy, to hopefully see if there's any improvement on how much morning sickness I experience, and also to try and sort out these frequent spells of dizziness and lightheadedness that I've been getting since before my tests showed lines properly. I think the dizziness is a bit better, but maybe that will just clear up on its own anyway, and that's why? Anyway, I bought some trail mix, some salted cashews, and some brazil nuts. I love brazil nuts, but eating them yesterday afternoon left me feeling a bit... yacky. Not quite as far as queasy, but not far off. It seemed to stay with me into the evening and then not eating until late pushed that sensation juuuust into the realms of nausea. Hmmm...

Today I do NOT want to eat brazil nuts! I was chewing my fingers (gross habit, but yeah) just a little while ago while I was setting the laptop up to update my blog, and noticed that it was quickly making me feel a bit sick. TOTAL confirmation for me, that this is morning sickness starting. The only time ever in my life when biting my nails/fingers makes me feel sick to my stomach is when I am pregnant. Even if I am desperately needing to bite them, and I do, the nausea is right there to make me stop, as soon as I start. First trimesters are the only times I ever have nice long nails and smooth fingers, lol! I really like it (I hate being a nail-biter, but it's almost impossible to stop), and try to continue it, and I usually make it to my 3rd trimester before I cave. So anyway, yay for my nails about to get nice. Boo for nausea! ;)

On the other hand, I'm excited to be starting morning sickness because I know that it means things are going well in there with my little beany person! In fact, I announce to the general world at large much earlier than many people do, because I can't keep it to myself any longer (mainly), and also because I want the world to celebrate with me, even if I lose my treasure. Even more reason to celebrate with joy while the little one is with me! I have a bit of trepidation early on, usually because I am bleeding in some way, but also because you never know how things are going with the pregnancy, if there are no particular encouraging symptoms yet. So, I tend to announce on Facebook and to friends and family everywhere (except my grandparents...) when either I have an early scan for bleeding and get visual evidence of my dear little person, OR when I start morning sickness, which is good evidence that the baby is growing well.

But I'm not quite ready to announce yet. My idea for announcing my pregnancy is to tell the boys in some way, video them finding out, and make the video my announcement! :) I can count on my kids to be absolutely ecstatic about us having a new baby, so their excitement makes for a good announcement when it's your Nth baby in a row, close together, and many frown on that. I am trying to think of ideas for cute ways to tell them. So far my favourite idea that I've had is to make gingerbread men for us all - a large (adult) one for Neil and I, and then small ones (I have a cutter set) for all the boys, including this little baby (who needs a nickname, now I think of it! I'm sure the boys will be eager to oblige - they've been suggesting nicknames for "the next baby" for months!). I could pipe smiley faces on them all, and then each boy's initial on the tummy of each one. I want to write "October" on the baby's one, but I am not sure if I can fit that in with icing on a small gingerbread man, lol! Another idea I had was to send them a letter with clues inside, to send them on a treasure hunt round the house for more clues, until it reveals the news. Not sure how easy it would be to take a video of that though...

Anyway. I am open to ideas! :) It's so much fun that some of them are old enough now to really get creative with ways to announce to them that they will be having a new baby brother or sister in October! :)

Okay, I saved the above in draft because I was writing it mid-morning today while Elijah was napping and Neil was out at the park with the boys. Elijah woke up and so I put the laptop away, and here I am now (mid-evening) with my next opportunity to continue.

Since this morning, I have most definitely started morning sickness! Noooo mistaking it. I feel sick all the time, it's so very familiar to me. My protein snack and meal ideas are either not appealing at all, or else not helping in the least! :S Oh well! Unless they actively make me feel worse, I will persevere, because I am sure I need protein. I did have fish fingers, mashed potatoes and veg for dinner, because my children won't eat them and there were lots left over! Anyway, I felt gross starting to eat, but I felt about 90% better immediately after eating, which was wonderful! It lasted maybe 5 minutes, if that, and then the nausea came right back. It's not too horrible, it isn't nice, but I just hope it doesn't get much much worse as the next couple of weeks go by.

Today is such a huge change to yesterday! Yesterday evening I was digging into a tub of Ben and Jerry's ice-cream happily, and today just looking at the tub makes my stomach churn! Yesterday I was dutifully drinking water to get my fluids in, and today I have sipped at two glasses of water and only managed to actually finish one of them, because water makes me feel sick. This is exactly my experience with my other pregnancies, so it's not a surprise or anything. A cup of tea went down fine this afternoon though. And milk is fine. Tropicana tropical fruit juice is AWESOME. Like nectar. Mmmm.... :)

My little bean is visible to the naked eye! :) 1mm to 1.5mm in length, and has a neural groove and blood cells! Everything changes so fast at this stage. There are only 5 days until a tiny heart starts beating. Incredible.

I weighed myself today and I'm 9 stone and 7.5lbs. So that's my starting weight. Not my best starting weight ever, but never mind. Last time I'd had the "benefit" of a kidney stone and a tummy bug, so I was a whole stone (14lbs) lighter when I started my pregnancy with Elijah. Otherwise this is a pretty normal weight for me to be at 8 months postpartum, as it's still coming off at a steady rate, and hasn't finished yet! ;)

I forgot to post a conversation I had with Arthur last week, which I'd posted on Facebook - I must post things in my blogs as well that I post on Facebook. It's hard (if not impossible) to find really old updates on Facebook, whereas they're easily accessible here and saved properly for prosperity. Anyway, I'll copy and paste. Elijah is awake and crying in Neil's arms, and he's pretty clingy to me at the moment (just age 'n' stage, not so much to do with me being pregnant, I think) so I think he would prefer me to hold him if I can for a while. I have breastfed him already but he's still cross! Here's the conversation with Arthur:

"Arthur was sighing in a sad way a few minutes ago, so I asked what was wrong. This is our conversation (word for word):

A: "Mummy, Elijah is 8 months old, and it feels like I've been waiting for 8 or 9 months forEVER!"

Me: "Why?"

Arthur: "Because then a new tiny baby (flaps his arms in excitement on the word 'baby') might be growing in your tummy!"

Me: "Oh? You're looking forward to that?"

Arthur: "Oh YES! I love seeing you be pregnant! It's so exciting for us, and we love catching the updates (?!) with the scans and (flaps arms again) hearing the heartbeat and things like that. And Heather comes to visit a lot. And (strokes Elijah's little head - he's standing next to Arthur at the sofa), I love seeing the babies grow along their line - you know, see them develop and learn new things."
 
Isn't that lovely?! I'm so pleased and relieved and happy when he says things like that (Matthew and Nathan do too, regularly, but Arthur has been the most pestering child of the lot of them, about WHEN oh when can we have a new baby, lol!). I love it as well because he's the eldest of 6 already at the tender age of 8, and many would think he's a poor boy because of it, but here we have some nice evidence that he isn't poor at all! :)

Elijah is very cross now! Must go! Back soon! :)