Over a week since I updated last - whoops! I have all sorts of news, but unfortunately have started this post rather late (isn't that unusual?!), so I am not sure how much of it I'll manage to churn out before I absolutely MUST go to bed! I'll get started!
Continuing weirdness with the morning sickness that went away completely - it's back! Bleurgh! I have no idea why it went, or why it's back, but it's WELL AND TRULY back, just as bad as before. It faded out like I described last time I updated, exactly as it always has before in my other pregnancies when it is finally finished. I did have a bad cold, and it seemed to go with that. As soon as I was almost over my cold, I noticed queasiness setting in again. I thought maybe it was a "bad" day as they used to be, so that with the morning sickness almost gone it felt like a little mild queasiness at my old "peak" times of day. The next day I had mild queasiness for most of the day. The day after, my old peak time of day was more than queasiness, but the rest of the day I was still just queasy. And right after that I was back to the old horrible nausea that prevents me doing stuff, ugh! I was admittedly really really bummed at first, because I honestly thought it was gone! And it was disappointing to get it back full force. But I adjusted pretty quickly. After all, I had a week off! That's never happened to me before in a pregnancy, so I'll take it! :) And now that I'm this close to my 2nd trimester, SURELY the weeks are few before I'll feel better anyway? I hope so!
I had my first midwife appointment last week, at 10 weeks and 4 days! :) I love appointments! :) It being the booking appointment, it was LONG because there's the whole medical history questionnaire to go through, and then the previous maternity history too, and let me tell you, I am taking up quite a bit of time now with four pregnancies, labours, births, and postnatal periods to recount in detail! :) That is one of the main reasons why I LOVE booking appointments though. I just love to talk about my pregnancies and births, and my little ones!!! *blissful sigh*
I had a ton of blood taken for the usual screens and tests, and my urine sample was perfect. My blood pressure was 100/60, which is absolutely what I expected it to be. It's almost always that exact reading on my first couple of antenatal appointments! ;) Last pregnancy it did go lower, and I was very tired and had dizzy spells around that time, and the midwife said that was why. This pregnancy I am also having some dizzy spells and feeling breathless at times, so I presume I am having some low blood pressure again. My blood pressure is low in general, and a little lower still when I'm pregnant, so I'm not awfully surprised. I do need to drink more fluids though, because that could be part of it, and I am just not able to drink enough when I am morning sick :( Especially now the weather has gone all hot and summery.
The midwife I saw was Carol - the same one who came round to do my 40 week check on the day I went into labour with Benjamin. I AM writing my birth story! You'll read about that very soon, I promise! ;) So far I have written long-windedly up until 6.30pm on the day he was born, and he was born at 7.30pm, so take heart! I may finish soon, lol! ;) Anyway, I had had a show by the time she arrived and when she heard about it she told me she would be sure to see me later. Sure enough, she was with me for most of my short labour, and then in the last hour she finished her shift and another (lovely!) midwife came instead. I didn't click wonderfully with Carol, so I was happy about that, but she is still a lovely midwife so it was nice to see her again! She sounded surprised to see me "already", and told her student with some fanfare that I was back for number five! Everyone seems to be reacting like it's a big deal that I already have four, and especially when they hear their ages, and the fact that they're all boys. "Hoping for a girl this time??..." is the question I hear ALL THE TIME, and what do I say to that?! I usually say that a girl would be lovely, but I love having boys so I will be thrilled with another. "When are you going to stop?!!" is the other one I keep on hearing, and also the midwife asked me, "Was it a surprise?" I said noooo (in a sort of "don't be daft!" tone!) and told her that I am very lucky (wish I had said blessed instead though, tsk) that my body is ready to conceive around the 9 month mark postpartum, so that is when I do. I told her we don't prevent pregnancies. She and the student looked to me like they would have both loved to roll their eyes or exchange some sort of glance, but they didn't, which I have to say I am glad of! They also were overly wow-y when we got to the questions about breastfeeding with the other boys. I had to say how long I had breastfed for, and so Arthur is 4 years, Matthew will be too (he is 4 in two weeks - whaaaaat?!?! - and still very occasionally breastfeeding at bedtime), Nathan self-weaned at 16 months, and Benjamin is obviously still breastfeeding at 10 months. I am NOT supermummy just because I breastfeed for years! It's both lovely and slightly uncomfortable when people OVERLY wow about it! I just do what I think is best for them (THEM, not me), and also happen to love it. I think I mentioned here years ago now that I had a little sort of goal or dream - I would love to breastfeed without a break for a decade. I don't even know why, and it's a pointless goal! It's not a huge thing for me, so it doesn't drive me at all, but there it is. If Benjamin does not self-wean while I am pregnant, hopefully I will get somewhere near to 8 years (it'll be 6 straight years in November) even with no more babies after this one. I just LOVE breastfeeding!!! :D
Okay, getting off track!
So my appointment went well. It was just blood tests and questions - no dopplers or palpating my tummy or anything like that (too early apparently, haha!). My next midwife appointment is after my scan, at 16 weeks, and I booked it with the midwife last week. It's June 25th. My scan is getting closer - NEXT WEEEEEEEEEK!!! I can't wait to see my little one! It's on Thursday. We can't figure out childcare, so we'll have to take the three littlest with us. They don't like you to bring children, and ours MIGHT not behave, but we'll keep them in the tandem pushchair or in arms and give them a snack to work on, and hopefully it'll be okay. The rooms are tiny so I hope we fit in! :S Usually my grandparents offer to watch them for a scan, but they have been STONE COLD silent since finding out about the pregnancy. Granny phoned me last week in her normal cheerful and chatty way, but did not mention the baby or ask me anything about my pregnancy or how I was feeling at ALL. It was like she had forgotten I was pregnant (and she never forgets things like that). Grandoug still hasn't spoken to me since before I told Granny over the phone. So we were not about to ask them.
Since making that decision though, last night Granny phoned me out of the blue as though nothing had happened at all! She straight away asked how I was feeling, and how the morning sickness was going, and when was the baby due again? And so on! I was a bit stunned, but SO relieved and happy that she has come around. Mummy said she would, and I'm just so glad. It was weighing on me more than I realised. I still haven't talked to Grandoug, but oh well. Hopefully soon. But I wouldn't ask them to watch the boys. The scan happens to fall in half term, and our church runs a kids' club on two afternoons that week (Arthur LOVES these!) for primary school age children. It's a bit fiddly because my scan is at 1.50pm and Kids' Club starts at 2pm! :S I tried to rearrange the scan (because there is NO WAY I am letting Arthur miss Kids' Club, not even a bit of it!), but they are fully booked and can't change a thing. Soooo I am trying to figure out either dropping him off REALLY early (checking to see if that's okay and who will be there), OR seeing if I can drop him at the home of another kid who is going, and see if they would mind taking Arthur along with them? We'll just have to take the other three. I am glad I have a doppler, because I would be so nervous otherwise, of having three little kiddies in the scan room and then finding out the I had lost the baby or something horrible like that. I would not want to have little ones to deal with while we receive that news, so I will be using my doppler on the morning of the scan to just check on Cornflake for reassurance!
I am SURE there is only one baby in there now. My uterus comes up to halfway or just a bit over, between my pubic bone and my tummy button (still fairly flat though), which is about right for 10-11 weeks, comparing my other pregnancies with this one. If it was twins then I am sure I would be growing much bigger than that by now. I can now hear Cornflake's heartbeat loud and clear the instant I turn the doppler on - no searching any more! And even if I angle it all over the place, there is only one heartbeat in there! ;) I can't wait to see my tiny little new baby person! Cornflake is now just over 4cm long from head to bottom!!! Amazing! I know that is still so tiny, but when I hold my fingers up that distance apart and then picture the shape of a fetus within them (and add legs!), it's just amazing to me. Cornflake has grown soooo much already! In such a short time since conception, really. And looks totally human-baby-like.
Last week, from about 10w2d or 10w3d, I have had times every day where I have a sort of suspicious "awareness" feeling. I stop and wait, but I feel nothing, so I just think I was "feeling things". But since it's something that I'm noticing daily, I am thinking maybe not. Every time it happens, it's like the tiniest possible squirming sensation low down around pubic bone level or a touch higher. The instant it distracts me, I stop whatever I'm doing and go very still and wait, to see if I feel any movement. But nothing more happens. I have been VERY suspicious that it IS Cornflake moving that is giving me that sensation, but I have not been able to actually say I have felt the baby move as such. Yesterday and the day before, I had several times each of those days where it happened, and I was SO SURE I felt movement that I would lie on my tummy or back and wait - almost hold my breath! - for something more to confirm what I could have sworn I'd felt! But nope.
This afternoon I was feeling sick and exhausted, and Neil took the boys out to the park (all four!) for their regular outing. I lay on my bed on my tummy just resting, and suddenly for a split second I felt like a little something with the most featherlight touch just swiped across the inside of my skin just to the side of my pubic bone on the left. I froze and waited. Nothing! After a while I started to doubt that it was Cornflake because maybe that was sort of low and to the side a bit for baby movements? I don't know. But I still remember the sensation, and I do think now that it might have been Cornflake. Anyway, after a bit I was lying on my back, and starting to doze off when - again very suddenly - there was an odd sort of "flumple" feeling just about a centimetre above my pubic bone. It only lasted a split second again, but it felt a bit like the ripple of a waterbed if you push it and then let go suddenly. But it was so quick that by the time I went still to wait for something more, it wasn't even there any more and nothing else happened!
This evening I was checking blogs lying on my side on the sofa with my laptop on the edge of the sofa, and suddenly felt a definite squirm!! It was tiny, and fast as a flash again, but a clear "shifting" feeling, like a very tiny somebody squirming or shifting position for a moment. I am now absolutely sure that I am feeling Cornflake move! No actual taps or pokes yet (I was getting those with Matthew from 10 weeks, but then he WAS the boy who shifted my butt on the computer chair with a kick to my hip at 17 - SEVENTEEN! - weeks, and remains that kind of child to this day, lol!).
So I am very excited!!!! It's so wonderful and indescribably lovely to be feeling a precious newly created little person move about inside me again! The wonder NEVER gets old - as I think I have said before! And I honestly think I feel more and more in awe and in particular, THANKFUL, each pregnancy as I feel these amazing sensations. I adore pregnancy for the gift of being able to feel my baby move inside me. So precious! I'm so so so thankful to be here again, and just blissful every time I feel a squirm or a "flumple" low low down - I have felt several of these sensations this evening since the first one I described above! Yay! :) My bond with my unborn child INSTANTLY makes a huge leap when I start to really feel them move and touch me - make contact with me so I can feel them there. That first sensation FLOODED me with fresh new love for my tiny one, and made me all the more eager to meet him!
Well, that is my main news! I did have a weird time over the last few days - particularly the weekend - because I was 10 weeks and 6 days on Sunday, and ever since Nathan's pregnancy.... That is the gestation where I suddenly and inexplicably started to bleed (I honestly feel that haemmorrhage is a better description, if I sit on the toilet and hear a continuous weeing sound, and it's blood). I know it was just Nathan's pregnancy, but I remember feeling sort of weird and anxious around that time in Benjamin's pregnancy. Of course nothing happened! But the same gestation has had me feeling odd and uneasy this time too. It was so incredibly scary, and affected me more than I think I realised at the time. Horrid! Anyway! Not something to dwell on! I am still praying for a pregnancy with no bleeding, and it still amazes me that I'm 11 weeks pregnant with not a spot of bleeding this whole time!!!! Never experienced anything like that before, and it's sooo nice! :)
The boys got to hear Cornflake's heart beating last week. I found Matthew with his T-shirt up and my doppler held to his little torso, very seriously listening for the baby in his tummy! I asked if they wanted to hear our baby in my tummy, and was really pleased that as soon as the doppler was on, the heartbeat was there loud and clear instantly. They were all so thrilled, and Benjamin went very quiet listening to the new sounds. Arthur wouldn't let me turn it off for five minutes! He had a big smile on and said he could listen to it for ages, bless his heart! I discovered for the first time that I have quite a wiggler in there! There were only a couple of those little "whomp" sounds that indicate a limb moving under the doppler, but several times the little one completely disappeared from under the doppler and I had to do some searching to relocate him! :)
Okay it's LATE because Benjamin woke for a feed, and now I must go to bed! Glad to have managed to fit all my news in though! Hopefully I will update again much sooner next time. SIX days to go until my 2nd trimester starts!!!!! Wheeeeee!! That's so soon! :) Oh and I need to start answering comments in the comments section, I think, because I keep meaning to answer a question or comment on something that somebody has said, in my next post, but then I forget! :S So I will try to reply to comments occasionally and keep up with it better that way! :) Thank you for the comments! I am loving getting them! xxx
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