The days are going by fast! Which, right now, I LIKE. I am feeling really sick most of the time, and will be glad to get to the part where I don't any more! But meanwhile I'm bearing it much better than other pregnancies I think, because I guess the hours in the day go faster, so that makes it more manageable, and I just have so much to attend to all the time. It's hard to get myself to do meals when I feel grim, but I try to eat something whenever I feel particularly sick, and try to knock it on the head that way. Sometimes it helps a bit, occasionally it helps a lot, and most often now it doesn't really change much about the nausea. Still, going by 12 weeks for the start of the second trimester (which I steadfastly DO!), I've only got 3 weeks and 3 days left now!! Wow!
I really should get my doppler out, as I am sure I would be able to hear the baby's heart beat by now! :) I just haven't felt the need to, given that I saw the same sweet little heart beating on the screen at the scan just this week! :)
I am tired out of my BRAAAIIIINS this week. I did have some weird sinusy lurgy, and it's still rumbling along but I feel much better in that department than I did. The post-nasal aspect of it is reeeeeally aggravating my morning sickness. All smells are horrible to me at the moment (queasy-making) and some tastes, so I guess food aversions are kicking in maybe? My pasta sauce, which I make from tomatoes, pesto, tomato paste and herbs, etc, does not appeal, though I can eat it. It's one of the only things I feel WORSE for, after eating it. Today I made pizza for my family, which we have every weekend now (all the boys except Matthew LOVE it, and Neil does too). I did not fancy putting mushrooms on my part as I usually do, so I left them off. And then I ate it, and enjoyed eating it, but right afterwards I felt grim in the same way as I do after my pasta sauce. Also, on Friday night I made a simple dinner for the boys and then after they were in bed Neil and I had lasagne (Tesco's own) and I actually could not eat it. I tried! I was so hungry, but uggghhh I couldn't continue to put it in my mouth, I felt so sick. That time though, it was definitely the GARLIC in the lasagne. I don't use garlic at all when I'm pregnant, in my cooking. It has never gone down well in past pregnancies, so I presume it's a safe move to make! ;)
BUT! Things that I can eat that instantly improve my nausea: chocolate, flapjacks, rich tea biscuits - basically anything sweet. When I felt really nauseated on Friday afternoon (that was NOT a good day for morning sickness), even in the midst of that feeling, I felt like I could eat flapjacks. So I made some that evening and I was right, I felt lots better for eating them. I could eat half a piece of flapjack and be WAY better in 30 seconds, at any point in the day where the nausea kicked in. My flapjacks have 4 ingredients: butter, brown sugar, honey, and oats. So I don't know whether it's just the sweet aspect that helps, or the oats?? I don't know!
We were all in the car on the way to Arthur and Matthew's swimming lessons yesterday (Saturday) when SUDDENLY I had to have Battenberg cake!! That was so random, and I've never had that one before. Battenberg cake is very sweet... I'm fairly sure I was not a fan of sweet things at all in my first trimesters before now, but I might be wrong... I'll have to check. Of course everyone is saying, "GIRL!!!" haha! Maybe...
I weirdly have a girl hunch, though for absolutely NO reason whatsoever, and I do NOT trust it, lol! I have had girl hunches before and been utterly wrong! ;)
One thing that I think is new for me though - I had a very vivid dream early Saturday morning. We had an ultrasound machine at home (!!!) and I had it all set up and positioned right, ready to use. I was just sorting something out and Neil kept on moving the doppler thingy on my tummy, and I was getting so cross with him because I kept telling him to WAIT and he wouldn't, haha! I wanted to find the "bits" to find out the baby's gender myself. He let go but at that very second the screen showed the gender shot clear as day, and (obviously it was a dream!) I have never seen such a clear girl shot in all my life. There was no denying it! She was still a girl at other times we used our ultrasound machine as the pregnancy went on, and she would do cute impossible things like smile and pose for us, looking right at us, hahaha! ;) Gotta love pregnant dreams! I just fell in love with her completely, and could not WAIT for her to be born. At first it was such a breathtaking shock that she was actually a GIRL, but by the end it was just totally normal. She did not have a name, in the dream. I woke from it before she was born, and immediately thought, "Hmmm!" I think all the dreams I've ever had of ultrasounds during my pregnancies before have been accurate for gender. When I told Neil that I'd had a girl dream, he said, "Another one?!" And I remembered I'd already had one riiiight at the beginning of my pregnancy - I forget the details though. No boy dreams yet. I know dreams don't necessarily mean a THING, but it still makes me think, "Hmmm..." all the same! I feel absolutely DAFT saying that maybe I have a girl hunch, because it's rather hugely UNlikely that it'll be a girl, statistically speaking, and anyway I will feel silly in 3.5 weeks when I have another scan and see an angled "dangle" and know it's a boy, haha! ;)
I will just have to wait and see. The nausea is now exactly like the previous pregnancies really, so apart from its late start getting this bad, it's nothing different.
Neil asked me to tell him my ideas for names, so that he could veto them! ;) I told him I am waiting for God to let him know the name that I think He has told me, and then I'll know! ;) He said it doesn't work that way, and he wants a LIST! :) I love making lists of names, but for once I don't feel like doing it. I haven't even looked at girls' names for the last two pregnancies, so it has been 4 years since I last considered girl names for my babies. I am currently in a position where I will be overwhelmed with joy and gladness if this baby is a boy, and I do not want to rock that lovely boat by starting to fill my head with girly fancies, because by the time I get to the scan and see the obvious boy direction, I risk having a sense of disappointment if I've done that, which I WON'T feel if I continue without getting wistful about a baby girl. I would love a baby girl. I would love a baby boy. Right now I would love either, equally. I know that since I've never had a girl, if I start thinking of her name and little dresses, and PINK, and OH! doing her hair!!! And words like "little sister", "daughter", etc - I will basically take myself into a pink sparkly place where parting will be such sweet sorrow, and all because I am blessed enough to have a SIXTH sweet son! I do NOT want to feel that way. There's plenty of time for the pink sparkly place and girly planning and such if/once I DO find out that the baby is a girl.
I am trying to declutter the bedroom this weekend, and I have folded and put away 3-6 month baby clothes that Samuel has well and truly grown out of. They're so little and cute, and I spent some time looking at them. Even with a new baby coming, I always have that bittersweet pang putting baby clothes away! I wonder if I will have another boy... those baby clothes have been worn by all 5 of my little boys, and I loved seeing them in the clothes. I put them away every time, hoping and hoping and PRAYING that I'll get to use them again. If I have a girl, they will stay boxed :( Which is sad! I adore baby boys! I could have a dozen more of them! :D So I will be so glad of another darling baby boy. I have a few ideas for his name, and when I think of them (although Neil will probably veto the lot when he hears them, lol!) I feel a pang of sadness in case I don't get to use any more boys' names. So I will be glad either way, and that's a wonderful place to be! I don't want to allow myself to be influenced by starting to think, wonder, and ultimately plan for a girl coming, unless I KNOW it to be the case.
I'm just so very excited and blessed to be having another baby! I still have to keep pinching myself and squealing with glee! :) Not so much while doing things like homeschooling, haha! When the boys go out for a long walk with Neil at the weekends I tend to have my "Wheeeeeeee, I'm PREGNANT again!!!!" squealing moments, hehe! I can't tell you how excited I am, and how wonderful it is to have babies and babies and babies!!! So grateful to God!
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