Aaaargh, the days have flown by lately! It's late and I'm really too tired to update my blog but I know I'll blink and reach 12 weeks without updating otherwise, and then STILL not be able to update because Arthur's birthday (Wednesday) is the day I turn 12 weeks (yay, second trimester!!!) and I will be too busy! So here I am! :)
I feel like there's not really much to report this week. Still nauseous, the same as before. It IS manageable though. I am able to eat whatever is on hand. When I'm feeling sick, all food is unthinkable, but I eat it anyway knowing that I'll feel better, and I do. Generally. On a bad day (not often) nothing makes me feel better once I'm really feeling grim, but it's still manageable. My morning sickness is a lot worse when I am really bloated and IBS-y. A LOT worse. Then my nausea doesn't feel so manageable, but then I am often nauseous to an unmanageable level with my IBS when NOT pregnant, so that reassures me! ;)
Sometimes I feel lightheaded or breathless, and I presume that's my low blood pressure or something. I am really not drinking enough fluids - they are still the hardest thing to manage, though it continues to be easier this pregnancy than any of the others.
Today we made the Christmas cakes and allll the boys helped, and it completely exhausted me! I mean, I was shaking and breathless by the time we finished, lol! I didn't really recover with lying down, so since it was around lunchtime, I ate 2 boiled eggs and half a tin of baked beans on toast with a glass of milk. I figured protein would be the way to go, and it did make me feel a lot better for an hour or so. It's been a very physically tired-out day today. I think the little one is really growing lately. One day this past week, I was SO hungry! I didn't get to eat breakfast until 8.45am and then I HAD to eat two slices of toast and marmite and a cup of tea at 10.30 (scrunchingly hungry!), and then I ate a big lunch at 1.30! I couldn't believe I'd eaten 3 meals in less than 5 hours, lol! I think I ate 3 more meals before bedtime, but two of them were smaller - bigger than snacks though. I'm sure Sausage has been having a growth spurt! :)
The boys ask me most days how big Sausage is now (especially Nathey, and sometimes Matthew), and I am actually not sure - I haven't looked it up for a week or two! I will probably be surprised at how big he/she is getting in there!
I am finally starting to show this week, and I missed taking a photo at 10 weeks, but Neil took one for me for 11 weeks a couple of days ago. I was surprised how much I am showing, because I don't FEEL like I do just yet. I do think most of it is bloat though, although Sausage is definitely part of it, because he/she is now filling my pelvis, so what used to reside there is now filling out my waist line! ;) I will put the photo on the belly gallery (have I made one??!) tomorrow hopefully - it's still on the camera and I am too tired to get that done tonight.
We went out as a family to a fireworks display for Bonfire Night last night, and just as the fireworks were starting, I was trying to take a photo of the boys watching them. I was slouching slightly to get the right angle, but still I was wearing my thick winter coat, done up! And Arthur stopped gasping at the fireworks and suddenly yelled, "MUMMY! YOUR TUMMY'S GETTING BIG!!!!" with such excitement, lol! So sweet, my boys! They're all so thrilled about the new baby! :)
What else? Still haven't told my grandparents... had a discussion with my parents where they sweetly offered to tell them for us, and that is seriously tempting. But I am not sure. I must tell them in plenty of time for Christmas, because for the first time in YEEEARS my family is getting together at Christmas (my baby brother is hosting Christmas at his house - how can he possibly be this grown-up?!?! Never mind that he's in his 30s, haha!) and it will be a really special day. I don't want them to be all grouchy about the pregnancy on that day. I would LOVE to not tell them until next year, lol! But I'll be 18 and a half weeks on Christmas Day, and definitely not able to hide my pregnancy, going by my previous belly pictures at that stage! ;) I don't want to tell them on the day in case they aren't nice about it. Ugh. So I need to tell them much earlier so that they have time to "get over it" and be happy - which they WILL get around to. It takes them some weeks though. Which means I am running out of time! I just do not fancy telling them yet. I am going to wait until after my scan.
Talking of the scan, it's only a week TOMORROW!!! 8 days to go, yay! I can't wait to see my little one all baby-looking on the screen! :) I know I will get a glimpse of whether Sausage is a he or a she too, and I'm excited about that! We still don't have anyone to watch the boys, but I am really hoping we'll find someone. Neil said this evening that he'll just stay home with them for the scans. Whaaaaat?!?! I was really sad that he said that so easily. I don't know. It means a lot to me that he's there for special things like scans, and these days I have to go to my early "is the baby alive or not?" scans by myself, which I do NOT prefer to do, but which we really have no choice over. The main thing is how, what's the word?... urgh, my pregnant brain can't think of a thing! It's the opposite to a thesaurus, lol! BLANK. Give me another word for 'fun'! Brain: "Uhhhhh..." Okay, how about another word for 'sad'? C'mon, what's the word I'm looking for?! Brain: "Uhhhhh..." Seriously. That is my brain these days. It's not flattering, folks.
Anyway! It's more that Neil doesn't seem to mind one bit having not-too-much to do with the things about my pregnancies that I find exciting or "essential". It's not a reflection on how much he loves the babies, or wants them. Just how he is with all of them really, when I'm pregnant. Not too connected. I know that's normal, and also I know already that it's just how Neil IS. It's okay. But sometimes I feel it, like when I'm excited about US getting to see our baby together for the first time, and maybe even a glimpse of boy or girl baby, and the possibility of being told there is something wrong... and he casually suggests that he stays home to watch the boys instead. He's thinking of them, which I LOVE, and feel selfish for thinking this way, but I do wish at special times he would think more of me than the boys. Probably wrong! But anyway, just my feelings for the moment. They'll change, I'm sure! :) I did tell him most of what I just wrote, that the two big scans are special and I really REALLY want him to be there - what if something is wrong? I do not want to be on my own, and just show him a picture when I get home, that seems so sad to me! :( He said okay, and we'll look some more for somebody to watch the boys. He's a sweet hubby and such a lovely daddy. :)
My milk seems to be okay still... I think in other pregnancies it has really started to dry up from about 14 weeks, quite quickly. Last time it lasted longer, and there was even some actual "gulpy" milk there when Samuel was born!! I was so surprised! All the other times it had been all gone by 20 weeks and only the new colostrum was there afterwards. I did pray last pregnancy that my milk would continue long enough to sustain my current baby (Benjamin) until he turned one, without the need to supplement with formula. The age gap was slightly smaller than previous times, and I knew I would have to get to about 18 weeks before he turned one, with enough milk for him to be having full feeds as needed alongside solid food. Amazingly, God provided, and my milk was plentiful enough until he turned one, and then dried up a lot, RIGHT after. He went onto cows milk on his first birthday. The age gap is the same with Samuel and the new baby, so I will be 18 weeks pregnant when he turns one. I hope my milk lasts! So far so good :) I think I am noticing subtle changes, like just now I went to feed Samuel when he woke (he is nursing on demand, day and night still) and felt my milk let down with quite a sting, and realised that's the first time I've felt a stinging let-down in a few weeks maybe. So I think the quantity isn't what it was, or something. Benjamin still nurses APLENTY, on demand pretty much, during the day. I will nurse him during the evening if he wakes from a bad dream or really wants me and can't settle down (Neil usually goes to him in the evening if he wakes), but never at night now (he's 2 and a quarter, so that's probably okay, lol!). I often have times during the day when I need to lie down on the living room floor, and Benjamin takes this as a cue to curl into my side and breastfeed :) Samuel sometimes joins in, but not always. Benjamin is far more eager to nurse than Samuel - very much like Arthur was, and Matthew less enthusiastic just like Samuel. Anyway, when they are tandem nursing, they always both gulp and gulp, so I know there is plenty of milk. A couple of hours later (or less) when it's time to do it again, or put Samuel down for a nap, gulping still occurs, so hopefully I'm making plenty, for now. There are 7 more weeks until Samuel can have cows milk, and I'm kind of aware of it! Nervous that I'll have enough for him to make it there, and hopeful now, with only a few weeks to go!
What else? Some foods are tasting bitter to me - white bread, cheese, and crackers, and sometimes crisps. I don't really like starchy carbs this pregnancy. They're okay, and will still do the job to relieve nausea a little if I need to eat something, but they give me a bit of a rubbish aftertaste. Wholemeal bread doesn't have the same aftertaste, so I eat that instead. I usually eat that anyway.
I am really not needing protein like I have done in my other pregnancies, and I'm interested in this fact because at MOMYS I found a post written by a friend who was in our due date group for July '09 when I was pregnant with Benjamin. We both had 3 boys and were expecting our fourth boys together. After I had Samuel she became pregnant again, and I found a post from her that was about gender and food. She had NEEDED lots of protein in her first 4 pregnancies and didn't seem to need it so much this time around, and wondered if she could make anything of that. Lots of people replied saying they were sure she would have a girl, because that's how they found it when they finally got pregnant with a girl - you have to understand that these ladies have had 4 or 5 or SIX boys in a row and then a girl, so they know what they're talking about, lol! ;) Last I read, she had an ultrasound right near the end of her pregnancy which said 'boy'. I checked up on her recently and she was VERY surprised at her home birth to have a baby girl! :) So happy for her! And now very very intrigued about the protein....
I know I craved, or maybe just NEEDED, eggs, during my other pregnancies at some point. I can't remember if it was this early, or later. But I loved my eggs and meat. And I coped with morning sickness with a lot of bland white carbs, and CHEESE - lots of cottage cheese, cheddar cheese, etc. I remember someone commenting on my diary when I was pregnant with Arthur or Matthew, saying I was soooo having a boy because I wanted eggs every day, and she had had 4 boys and could relate to WANTING protein like that. This pregnancy I really haven't wanted protein much. I eat it, and enjoy it, but don't feel like I really need it. I even set out this pregnancy, for the first time, to tackle morning sickness with protein. But I haven't stuck with it, and I don't know if it really made any difference for me when I was doing it, over non-protein foods that is. I ate egg today and it was yummy, but I haven't been eating eggs at all really, just because I haven't wanted to. I am eating cheese, and it's okay. I have not eaten cottage cheese more than once this entire pregnancy! I bought some, because it was the thing to do, since I was pregnant and all, haha! It was nice. It did not call my name though, and actually I let a pot of cottage cheese go past its date in the fridge by mistake, because I really didn't want or need it. I am not eating much meat really this trimester, but only because making it is nauseating because it usually involves onions (which are my only BIG enemy, along with garlic, this pregnancy). This week I have wanted to have something "chicken", which is the first inkling of wanting anything protein-y. This evening we had a chicken stir fry, and it was nice, but not "gghhaaaaaagggghah" Homer Simpson style "nice", if you know what I mean! My body didn't go, "Ahhhhh, thank you SO much for this amazing foooood!" It was just nice, and I would eat it again soon if I had some more. So that is unusual for me I think. Normally I am all about my meat and eggs and cheese. I have weird cravings for fast food burgers or hotdogs (NEVER eat those or even like them, any other time!). None at all this time.
So after the post I read, I wonder... Could I really be having a girl?! I will not let my brain even think about that until the scan, because I know I will get a good idea one way or the other, and it's only 8 days away. I'm not thinking further about names until then either, for the same reason.
Aaaargh, it's so late!!! I must go to bed! Will write more another time. Only 3 days until my first trimester is behind me and I'm into the excitement of the 2nd trimester! Yaaay! :D
[ETA: Oh my goodness, Sausage is now FIVE cms from head to bottom!!!!! I didn't think he/she was so big already! The palm of my hand would be a perfect cradle for that tiny sweetheart right now :) I have not felt the baby move yet. Once or twice I wondered, and went still as a mouse, but nothing. What I might have felt was not convincing enough for me to be sure it wasn't my not-too-happy-with-life bowel or something, hehe! So, nothing yet. But soon!! :D ]
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