Here I am again for a general update! :) Still pregnant, of course! The full moon finished yesterday and had no effect on me as usual! ;)
A couple of nights ago I asked people on Facebook to send me links to really lovely positive birth stories, preferably homebirths. I know there are a zillion positive hospital birth stories out there, and ones with interventions, pain relief, etc. But I really need to read stories that are all about totally 100% natural birth, the way it was meant to be, you know? No hospitals, no machines, no pain relief, just getting in tune with your body, going with it without anyone intervening or interrupting the process, and being somewhere familiar (ideally) like home. That's how I do birth, and I was nervous about how I do birth (!) so I wanted to read some soothing stories to get my mindset right again. I really wasn't enjoying NOT looking forward to labour and birth, and wanted to get to that place of feeling eager and excited to give birth. I didn't want to go into labour with a sense of dread.
Well, I got a lovely link from an online friend which took me to a blog written by a professional photographer/videographer. She does all sorts, but especially births, and there are some lovely births on her website (under "clients"). I ended up watching them all, and it was so lovely! Most were home waterbirths. Some were just photos, but there were several videos. The link I was sent was to a video titled "Welcoming Theodore", which is SO GORGEOUS that everyone must watch it! Anyway, the end result is that I went to bed that night feeling much more at peace and soothed over the thought of birth - hooray! :) I kept thinking of those pictures and videos the next day (yesterday), planning to watch them again if I needed to come the evening, but I didn't. Tonight I went to church on my own, for the evening service. I haven't been in a few weeks and have missed it - we're trying to avoid germs these last few weeks! Samuel STILL has a cough from the last cold, but everyone else seems finally well. I really wanted to go and make sure my focus was freshly on God for the week ahead, and worship God with others, and receive some prayer. The bonus was that Heather was going, so it was nice to be with her, more so than usual - comforting somehow, because of the stage I've got to, maybe? Anyway, I had a lovely time and really felt God pouring peace into me during the worship time. I went forward for prayer, actually the whole church did tonight! Everyone was prayed for, and the lady who prayed for me said she had a picture in her mind when she prayed, of my house. She didn't know my house at all, but she saw Jesus standing in the centre of my home, in the kitchen or living room (the centre of my home is right between those two rooms). She saw the activities of our days as a sort of sped-up time-lapse type video, high speed blurs of children's antics, meals, activities, discipline issues, bedtimes, etc. All whizzing about, but with Jesus standing still right there in the centre of it all. She said she felt it was about the fact that Jesus was RIGHT THERE with me in my home at all times. That he is always there to call upon for whatever is going on in my home at any time. I told her (she didn't know, apart from that I was obviously very pregnant!) that I was due to have my baby at home in just a few days, and I had been really really anxious about the birth. I am so thankful for that image, as I will try to hold onto it when I'm in labour, and hopefully it will be really helpful to me.
This weekend has been pretty good for getting things checked off the to-do list. We are finally down to a list that's about 2/3 of an A4 sheet of paper long! :) That feels good, considering the length of the lists I've written every weekend back to the middle of September!
This weekend we have worked mainly on cleaning. The weather has been soooo damp and cold and rainy, and the humidity in the house so high with the tumble dryer NEVER STOPPING, and my room (where I'm planning to have a baby) hasn't been actually CLEANED in absolutely ages. So I noticed that it was starting to smell mildewy, ew! :/ Neil cleaned the walls from top to bottom with a specialist mould/mildew cleaner which we have since aired out with the window wide open! I had allergies sleeping in there last night, so today Neil rinsed the walls down again today. It smells normal in there now! :) I've cleaned all the furniture and washed the curtains hot enough to kill dust mites. They need hanging still, but I don't mind sleeping without curtains tonight. I polyfilled the holes in the wall from shelves that were taken down YEARS ago, and the ones in the bathroom that certain children have been digging with pencils (sigh), and then I painted over the dry, sanded polyfilla this afternoon. It feels great to get that done! :)
My "in case" hospital bag is packed, the homebirth supplies are piled in two bags and a washing up tub (!) by the radiator at the foot of my bed, and Lydia's clothes are neatly folded into the chest of drawers by my bed. Yesterday I took a bath when the boys were at the park with Neil. I rarely get chance to do any sort of pampering, but yesterday I had such an urge to get myself ready for birth in a pampering sort of way. I shaved my legs (gasp!) and underarms, and exfoliated my feet. I cut my toenails, removed the old nail polish, and applied two coats of soft pearlescent pink. It seemed appropriate, and just exactly the colour I felt like wearing on my toes for my baby girl's arrival! :) I didn't feel like adding sparkles, unlike last time round with Elijah. Pearly pink is perfect this time!
I used cocoa butter silk moisturiser from my knees down and paid particular attention to my feet, as they get neglected and are usually all dry and rough! I had so much fun! :) I really want to cut my hair, because it has got SO long suddenly, and it looks straggly and out of condition (because it is), but I don't think I will get time to do that. The poor boys are a higher priority for their haircuts, and I am not sure if I'll get to theirs either! The shaggiest boys are Arthur, Matthew, and Nathan. Samuel just had a haircut, and Benjamin's was only a few weeks ago. Elijah's was cut a few weeks ago too, but could do with another as it's getting longer in the back now. I know it will be many weeks before I am able to get around to haircuts again after Lydia is born, so I really want to fit it in before she's born... but I'm doubtful about it right now. I've lost the clippers so using scissors only is going to make it a much longer job!
I freecycled a pushchair that we no longer need today, and that felt good too! Neil cleared the landing at the top of the stairs (there were some things waiting to go in the loft), and cleaned cobwebs from high places, and did wonders in the kitchen with the cluttered surfaces! :) The only things I need to do before having a baby are to clear the small piles of clutter at the corner bend in the stairs. The midwives get fidgetty about stuff there, in case I need to be "stretchered out" in case of emergency, from upstairs. I also want to declutter the surfaces in the living room, just because it looks messy and I hate it looking messy, especially when lots of people are going to be in and out of our house pretty soon!
There are a few more things I want to freecycle, to get rid of them quickly. I am freecycling our old bouncy chair as it's a bit tired and old now, and - slightly embarrassed to admit this in public! - it's dark blue with animals on. I am tempted by a pink replacement, but I am going to be sensible and replace it with a gender neutral bouncy chair, which is light in colour and has a vibrate function (apparently vital for my babies, especially if colicky!). Then I have somewhere to put my sweetie down in the early months when I have to attend to something and a big brother can watch her. I don't do at all well with baby wearing, much as I love the idea. I have washed the carriers and wraps that I have all the same, but I am not expecting to use them much, if at all. The Hug-a-Bub is the most likely, but I find it so frustrating when I'm wearing a baby, to be restricted from cuddling and breastfeeding my other littlest children on the spur of the moment, and also it's just much less comfy for me. It's less convenient to have to do things with one arm (constantly holding or carrying my baby in the other), but I prefer it anyway, and like the option to put the baby down instantly if I need to for a moment (hence the bouncy chair). I hope Lydia is happy with it - I always worry that they won't, and that they'll be the kind of baby who isn't happy unless attached to me in a sling, but so far I've not had any babies like that. I have had two (or three?) who hated being worn actually! ;) Anyway, bouncy chair - bidding on eBay currently! :) It's not urgent until Neil goes back to work after Lydia is born (he gets 2 weeks paternity leave), because for that time I will be blissfully occupied in my bed with my baby permanently against my front! I can't wait! How I look forward to that precious two weeks every time now! Neil is so wonderful to allow me to do it, as he has a BIG job of taking on full responsibility for 6 little boys - we started it when Benjamin was born and have done it with every baby since. I recover more quickly that way, and am way better off at 6 weeks than if I hadn't spent the first two mostly in bed with my new baby. The boys come upstairs any time, of course, and in the second week - near the end of it - I begin to venture downstairs more to ease back into things before Neil goes back to work. But Neil is fantastic. He brings me my meals in bed. He takes the boys out. He maintains the housework, to the best of his ability. He deals with bedtime for the first few nights on his own until I am up to joining in again (depends on the birth experience - last time I think I was back nursing the littlest on the 2nd night after Elijah was born). I sleep, breastfeed, eat, drink, rest, read a lot of books (I get a pile of books ready in advance, and look forward to my annual (haha!) opportunity to read for most of my pregnancy!), and do things online. Neil and I eat together in the evenings on the bed, with the sleeping baby on my front. It's such a precious time, and I am so excited to have the privilege of doing it again soon! :)
Well, tonight I am feeling very much at peace with the thought of giving birth this week. I don't TRULY trust it, but have a calm gut-feeling that it WILL be this week. Tomorrow is my midwife appointment, and I have decided to get the sweep after all. I also decided to check my own cervix after my bath yesterday, and was encouraged to actually FIND it, lol! Often I've checked my cervix at the end of pregnancy and found it discouraging because I couldn't even find it - meaning it was waaaaay up at the top or posterior (not pre-labourish, because it moves anterior for labour and birth). I couldn't reach all of it, so I couldn't ascertain dilation. I'm sure I am dilated somewhat - I can't not be, having had six babies already. The great news was that it's anterior, and very soft. Quite thick, but the softness is a very good sign. Mandi will check it anyway tomorrow before doing the sweep, as it has to be a "favourable cervix" to make it worth bothering with a sweep in the first place. 2-3cm dilated is the ideal, and soft. So I am thinking it probably IS favourable for a sweep right now. I know the sweep may well not work anyway, but I feel quietly optimistic if my cervix is ripe for it. My three previous sweeps resulted in three new babies within 24 hours, so I am hopeful. My due date is Tuesday 22nd, and since I will have a sweep at my "due date" appointment on the Monday, it's possible that I might actually have a due date baby this time! :) Wouldn't that be fun?! According to the scans I've had, TODAY is my due date, but yeah. I'm going with my own dates anyway! ;)
I have had a very quiet womb since I last updated, but today I have had more Braxton Hicks than usual, and during the church service this evening I noticed I was having uncomfortable BHs about every 10 minutes, quite regular for me. Maybe it was just that I was quiet and still for an extended period of time, so I was more able to notice them? I never have that opportunity otherwise, so that could be it. Lydia has been quieter than usual yesterday and the first part of today. She has moved enough but it hasn't been her norm. I started to get a bit concerned yesterday evening, but she started moving about as I got to that stage of thinking, so that was reassuring. Tonight she is back to more of her normal activity levels, shovelling about energetically and hurting my sides and cervix! :)
I weighed myself today as I looked in the mirror and realised I look much more "weighty" than I did a couple of weeks ago, mostly in the face. That's always a good sign that I've had a growth spurt! ;) Sure enough I now weigh 12 stone exactly, which I think is a total of 36lbs (if my starting weight was 9st 7lbs like I *think* it was). Up 8lbs from my last weigh-in, whenever that was (33 weeks??). I'm glad to be at the end of my pregnancy now, as I don't really want to gain any more after this!
I am wondering if Lydia will weigh about 8lbs? Going by the growth scan at 38 weeks (approx 6lbs 12oz), I am guessing that she has gained another half pound each week since, which would put her approaching the 8lb mark now, maybe? I can't wait to find out! :)
I had a visit from an old school friend on Friday, who has two little girls, aged 3, and 12 weeks. She brought the girls, and handed her baby girl to me straight away, saying that I needed some practice cuddling a baby girl! ;) The boys were very taken with her, and Arthur whispered to me that she was so cute that he almost wanted to keep her, and he was very glad that we were about to have a baby girl of our own! Bless his sweet heart! :) The funniest part was when my friend changed the baby's nappy on the living room floor. All six of my children crowded round and stared in amazement (the variety of expressions was hysterical!) as she had her nappy changed, even Elijah! They all know about the physical differences between girls and boys, and the proper names for those bits, etc. They've not actually SEEN the difference though, as they've only got brothers! ;) Benjamin came to me looking quite bothered, while the nappy change was still going on, whispering, "She hasn't got a willy!!" I reminded him why, but he still seemed perturbed by the actual evidence, lol! Nathan came to me later and said that he noticed she didn't have a willy, as well, but he told me he knew it was because she was a girl. Samuel and Elijah didn't say or do anything, but both wore a very disturbed expression as they watched the nappy change, lol! It was so funny to watch them! ;) Willies are very important to little boys, and it must be a TERRIBLE thing as far as they are concerned, if you don't have one! It'll soon become normal for them, I'm sure! ;)
I can't think what else... I have slept badly most nights recently. My restless leg syndrome is back to really bothersome and I have had a hard time falling asleep before 2.30am most nights. It's so QUIET without the fan on now that Elijah is in with the boys. I don't put it on because he's not there to need the white noise in case of being disturbed by his brothers (since he's in there with them now!), and also I want to hear if he needs me in the night. By 2.30am if I am still not able to sleep, I put it on the quietest setting and that seems to help me get to sleep. I guess I am too accustomed to the white noise to manage when it's properly quiet now! Shame, because going to sleep in a silent house is lovely!
Then I wake several times a night, usually because of sharp ligament pains, needing a wee, or some other random thing. Allergy bothered me all night last night, and the last two nights, Elijah has woken and cried, and not settled for Neil on one occasion each night, so I have been through to him and given him a breastfeed to settle him. He slept through the night for the TWO nights in a row before that, which is amazing for Elijah! :) He has already woken this evening and been very upset with Neil trying to settle him, so I've already breastfed him back to sleep tonight. Hopefully he'll get used to not feeding at night pretty quickly, and settling with Neil's efforts quickly too, as I can't go to him in the first few nights at least, after having a baby.
I have had a couple of nights of AWFUL trapped wind over the top of my bump, and I can't shift it for anything, so it just sits there sharp and awful, and invades my dreams if I sleep, and wakes me frequently. My bump is so big and full of baby that there isn't much room for air to shift if it's trapped - I seem to recall this from the end of previous pregnancies. Urgh. I hope and pray that I don't have that going on during labour, because it's such a sharp pain that sometimes I am not sure how to deal with it, and if I had contractions on top of it I am pretty sure I would find it unbearable! Hopefully it won't happen again tonight.
It's so hard to get up from anywhere, especially snuggling with my little ones in their beds at bedtime. The ligament pains in my sides, running round to the underside of my bump, are awful, and it's hard to shift position to get up, even if I'm reeeeally careful, without searing pain which doesn't fade away fast enough once I'm up! I still have lingering ligament pain right now from getting up from Elijah's bed 10 minutes ago. It's definitely time for my little miss to arrive! :)
Well it's late now that I've been to Elijah, so I need to go to bed (and hopefully to sleep) to be ready for tomorrow. I'm so thankful that Neil has decided to stay home from work tomorrow. He is going to take the boys out, as we were so busy cleaning today, and it absolutely poured with sideways rain as well (with thunder and lightning!) so the boys didn't go out today. I don't know what time my midwife appointment will be until she rings me in the morning to confirm - it's usually after she finishes her antenatal clinic in the afternoon, from 2 or 3pm, that she comes to do home visits, but last time she had a good window around 11am, so she came then. I am going to ask if she would mind coming in the afternoon though (after talking to Heather at church tonight) because in the past, when I've had my sweeps, they've been in the afternoons. With Matthew, I had the opportunity for a fairly good night's sleep that night before contractions started in the morning. With Samuel, contractions started within 20 minutes of the sweep, and I had a bad bad bad night of almost no sleep, painful cervix and erratic contractions, and diarrhoea and nausea all night long. The good thing was that proper labour got going from first thing in the morning and so I laboured and birthed during the day. With Elijah, I had a good night after my sweep, no contractions in the morning until I breastfed Samuel for his morning nap, and so I laboured and birthed quickly after a good rest and some breakfast. I much prefer to get a good night's sleep before dealing with labour! So I wonder - IF the sweep works - if I have a sweep in the morning, might labour be kicking in during the night and then I'll have to deal with that when my body really needs to be sleeping or resting. I would rather the sweep later in the day and the chance of some sleep that night before all the action starts, if possible. I hope it DOES work now, even though I feel apprehensive with how REALISTIC and SOON that is!!! Eep!
I have a painful contraction going on at this moment, and I had one like this about 10 minutes ago as well. Painful in that it's tight enough to feel vice-like and sore under my bump and into my groin while it's going on. That is encouraging, but I know the odd one or two don't mean anything much, on their own. I am going to bed now, and will try to update however briefly if I do go into labour before the appointment tomorrow. If I don't, I'll try to update anyway about the appointment, in the evening. I'm not sure how much I'll feel up to blogging though, so we'll see. I'll try, if there's anything to report! :)
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