13 weeks, 6 days - ultrasound obsessing... ;)

Has it really been over a week since I updated last?! Oh dear!

Well, I should be in bed right now, though it's still "early" for me yet. Last week I was just so tired and hormonal, I took myself to bed three nights running at 9.30 or 10pm. I wanted to get a grip on things, as the days are just nauseated and basically full of SLUMP, getting nothing achieved except snapping at my children way too much. So I decided to go to bed early, set my alarm to get me up earlier than the boys (5.30am, ouch!) - something I've wanted to do for a LONG time now, but it's against my very nature, being a night owl and all! I really feel like this is about the only way I'm going to ever get a grip on my days, to be up BEFORE they start, you know? I need time to focus on God FIRST, before anyone else, and before anything else happens in the day. Then I start it on the right foot. And I get a head-start on the day physically and mentally. AND I get to finally bless my husband back - he's a total morning person and gets up with the boys at crazy o'clock every. single. morning, including weekends and holidays. I know. He is amaaaazing! :) I have too much of a tendency to be lazy and it's time I denied my flesh it's craving and got TO IT with the task I've been called to. *sigh* Anyway, that was my goal.

So I set my alarm and went to bed at 9.30pm the first night. Sleep finally occurred somewhere shortly before ONE AM. Ugh. Abandoned the alarm clock once it got later than 11pm (it would be bad baaaad news for the whole household if I went trying to get up at 5.30 when I just had not had nearly enough sleep. Baaaaad.) and tried again the following night (9.45pm). Sleep occurred a while after midnight. Boo! So frustrating lying there awake and getting nothing out of it! But I guess I was resting, although I could have been doing similar downstairs on the sofa as I usually do! Oh well. I tried again the following night at 10pm, and didn't get to sleep until midnight or just after. Midnight to 1am is the usual time for me to go to bed/sleep, so maybe it's just ingrained and I need to give it a while to adjust to the new bedtime? Or maybe not make a huge jump of several hours all at once? I don't know. I ended up not doing the early night thing again since then (4 nights now) because I was fed up lying awake all those "wasted" hours with so much to get done. My brain isn't particularly whirring in bed, I just lie there tired but not asleep!

One thing I did notice, which may be a big coincidence, since it's never made a difference in the past, was that my morning sickness was waaaaaaaaay better the days I was having early nights, even though I wasn't sleeping till late. As in, I thought it was all but gone, eventually! I had no nausea at all one day, just a vague bleurghy feeling by the evening which I couldn't even describe as queasiness. I cooked spaghetti bolognese from scratch that day, such was my optimism, with onions! Not been able to do that in a long while! :) I felt yucky while I was chopping the onions and thought it was a BIG mistake, but then it was fine, and I didn't mind the cooking smell OR eating it for dinner! :) I ate a huge portion and really enjoyed it!

I have since become gradually more nauseated again (so I do wonder about it being a coincidence with the early nights - I have had times in my pregnancies where things have improved for a few days and then come back), and feel REALLY sick today and yesterday. Yesterday we had the frozen portion of the spaghetti bolognese (same batch of sauce) and the smell even when it was frozen was awful to me, onion-wise. I could eat it and enjoy it though, but the plates made me feel horrible to clean up later. Nothing is really helping the nausea much at the moment, back to where it was before really. I am more interested in sweet foods, but they are making my IBS flare up horribly if I eat too much of them, and then I feel doubly nauseated the next day. I think part (maybe even a LARGE part) of my bad nausea lately is actually IBS. My whole abdomen is soooo bloated and yucky. I usually find it nauseating when this happens (not pregnant), and there's even more pressure in there with my womb popping up recently. Maybe that bothers my IBS as things adjust, come to think of it? Suddenly it seems a bit familiar from other pregnancies at about womb-popping-up time....

Anyway, so bleurgh. And zzzz, I'm so tired this week! And so USELESS during the day times. We are not getting school done this week at all, and the house is in a horrible state :( Yesterday I got the boys dressed but I didn't manage the same feat. Today I didn't even get that far - I am still in the pyjamas I put on LAST night after my bath! The boys also stayed in PJs and at bedtime I just put them in fresh ones. I find it so hard to feel good about myself when I am being so very slack, reason or not. They watched too many DVDs today, and otherwise played and read and built a ton of Duplo and jigsaws, and that's it really. I pottered around trying to get something DONE but somehow never actually achieving it (although I did clean out the veg compartment in the fridge and scrubbed it out in the sink! Big achievement lately, lol!), and otherwise got Samuel's naps done, nappies changed, and meals made. And lay on the floor mainly tandem nursing, all the other parts of the day (they see me lying on the floor, they toddle/crawl over and smile at me hopefully, and who am I to resist such charm?! Hehe! Happens every single time I lay down!). So I am going to bed after I post this.

All foods taste somewhat bitter a few minutes after I eat them, especially carbs, and especially bread and crackers and such like. Sweet starchy carbs too. I adore Jelly Babies right now, the taste is sublime, like I have never tasted anything so wonderful in all my life, lol! They mess with my stomach though, unfortunately, and make me feel gassy and yucky the next day (hmmm, do I see a pattern emerging?! ;) ). I am having to avoid toast and sandwiches where possible, though I do still eat them. I just know to expect the inevitable bitter taste and watery mouth afterwards, and thus nausea setting in sooner than it would otherwise after eating something.

I am definitely showing now. Starting to TRY to wear maternity jeans but it isn't really working yet! ;) I have a loose pair of normal jeans in size 14 that I had grown out of when I lost weight before this little one, and they're kind of loose still but my tummy fills them out better than maternity jeans. I also wear one pair of my smaller size jeans that fit me well on legs and bum, but which gape ridiculously at the fly - I can't even do the bottom of it up! I only wear those under a LONG top on a day when I'm sure to be at home all day and not expecting any visitors! ;) I used a hairband to loop through the button hole and around the button on the other side of the fly, and that holds them together a bit to be the right fit across my tummy, without them digging in or falling down. Can't wait until I have a bit more bump so I can fit some clothes properly! I love my new little bumpy bit and, as always, keep finding myself smiling down at it fondly and laying my hand on it :) I'm so excited to be having a BABY!!!

I have (of course, who was I kidding?!) been slightly obsessing over the scan pictures, as apparently I can't help myself, lol! I have to say, I felt no need to at all for the first 5 days after the scan, and then started to wonder about juuuust looking about at other baby nubs out there on people's scan pictures, and of course it became rather addictive! I thought there was no nub visible whatsoever on my scan pictures of Sausage, but after obsessing for a couple of days I now think I DO see a nub on two of the three, just verrrry possibly. Even when I point out what I'm seeing, nobody sees it (so I'm probably being craaaazy), but I've red-ringed the thing I'm seeing in two of Sausage's scan pics. I am seeing a line that is forked at the end, which I have seen a lot on nub shots, so I'm thinking that could be the nub. Hard to tell, but I still think it might be:



And the other one:



I think it's flatter and lower than I remember it being in the scan, although not completely flat. It looks more girly to me here, if it's the nub I'm looking at, although not DEFINITELY girly, since there is still a little angling. I'm sure there was some angling as the baby moved about during the scan though, so I am still going with boy.

While I was reading forums and so on about ultrasound gender prediction, I learned about a theory I hadn't heard before - anyone heard of the Ramzi method, EARLY in pregnancy? Here's what someone described it as, at a forum where somebody asked:

"Basically this MD noticed that if the baby's placenta was on the right side, it was 97% a male. If it was on the left, it was 97.5% a girl. All these ultrasound's were done at 6 weeks. The MD said this theory doesnt hold true if it is done later in the pregnancy as the placenta can move."

I was intrigued, so I checked out my scan pictures that I have for my little ones who had early scans between 6 and 8 weeks. Arthur's placenta was on the RIGHT side of him (he was on the left of it, though it was mainly across the bottom) at 7 weeks (boy). I didn't get a scan pic for Matthew at 8 weeks, unfortunately, and I don't remember what I saw on the screen. Nathey was also on the left and the placenta on the right (boy), at his scan at 8 weeks. Benjamin's 6 week placenta is hard to make out, BUT he's squished right up against the LEFT side with his yolk sac, and the border of the right side of the gestational sac looks placenta-ish to me (boy, again!). Samuel is the only baby I didn't get an early scan with, due to no bleeding.

I did not get a picture of Sausage at the 6 week scan, but I remember the baby was squashed up between the yolk sac and the placenta, clear as day, because we took AGES looking at that image zoomed in and out and from all angles, in case there was a baby behind Sausage! And the placenta was completely on the LEFT side, with Sausage to the right, and the yolk sac to the right of Sausage. That's different to the others, and also girly according to the Ramzi method. I did get a picture of Sausage at the 8 week scan. Placenta is mostly over the top of the baby, but slightly to the left. Sausage looks pretty much smack dab in the middle of the gestational sac, but still slightly to the right of the placenta since it's slightly to the left.

Oh the obsessing, haha! ;)

Anyway, so Ramzi would say I'm having a girl this time, and as far as I can tell, proves accurate for the 4 boys I had early scans with as well. Hmmm...

Must stop obsessing, it's a crazy crazy thing to do! Especially as it doesn't matter a JOT whether it's a boy or a girl, lol! I'm just too impatient for my own good. January will roll around soon enough, especially with all the busy-ness in between with Christmas and birthdays, etc.

Okay I really must go to bed now. I am going to try drinking some milk first because I feel sick and am starting to feel heartburny. Hopefully it's mild enough to fix with a glass of milk!

Thank you for all the lovely comments on my scan update post, and the ones on the belly gallery too! I am already due to take another belly pic for 14 weeks, TOMORROW! :D Hopefully not long before the morning sickness is history, and I'll start blooming soon and feel marvellous, haha!

12 weeks, 5 days - SCAN update! :)

Back from my scan, and all is wonderful, hooray! :) It was so lovely to see my sweet little person in there!

Here are the three pictures I got:







The sonographer had a really hard time getting the pictures for us because OH MY GOODNESS I have honestly never carried such a wiggly baby! I love that it's definitely a character trait of this baby, because at only 12 weeks pregnant, this is the THIRD time I've seen (or been told of) excessive wiggling at a scan - even at 6 weeks and 5 days when I didn't even know the embryo (still an EMBRYO!!) had the ability to wiggle, hehe! Sausage has been hard to measure at all three scans (6w5d, 8w1d, and 12w5d - not to mention that kidney scan I had when I saw him/her spread out like a lil starfish, lol!), mainly because of wiggling! ;) I have had me some real wigglers (read: Matthew) in my time, but this baby is more so, I think. So far, anyway!

Sausage was twisting (torso and head), rolling, squirming, and mainly just doing a lot of kicking and generally flinging his/her limbs about all over the place. In these pictures, he/she was relatively still compared with the rest of the scan, but was still kicking and punching about vigorously, and grabbing wildly at his/her feet! You can see two feet in a couple of the pictures, both in odd positions higher up and facing the "camera". In some ways I wish Sausage had been a little less energetic just so that I could get a good clear look at those miraculous little fingers and toes, and so on - I never did get to see those very clearly because they NEVER stopped moving! ;)

It was also hard to see the genital tubercle (nub), although I did see it fairly clearly several times. It kept flashing in and out of view with the wiggling, and it wasn't "straight on" wiggling either, Sausage kept doing some sort of pelvic thrust which effectively flung his/her legs up at the same time, and so the angle of the nub changed dramatically during all of that. It was hard to keep track of it, lol! NONE of the pictures have the nub in them! That's a first for our babies - except with Nathan I think? Or was it Arthur? I can't remember. Anyway, certainly the last two babies I had a very clear view of an obviously angled nub (boy), and it was just as clearly seen on the ultrasound pictures. This time, not so much.

I think the baby is a boy, because once when I saw the nub, it seemed angled quite strongly UP which is a definite boy angle, but then he/she was trying to touch his/her nose with his/her toes for some reason (!!) so the angle would have been compromised a lot by that kind of maneuvre (manouvre? I can't be bothered to spell check, pfthth!). Another time I spotted it, it was pointing much lower but probably still angled somewhat, though it was less than a second and flashing in and out of sight all the time during lots of movement, so I can't be as sure as I was the last two times. We got a good view of the "toilet shot" as they call it, which is not reliable at all at this stage (although we were sure as sure from Arthur's one at 13 weeks that he was DEF a boy). This time I saw three lines and no obvious sticky-outy part, but a) there MUST have been a sticky outy part that I just didn't get the right angle to see because that's what the nub is in both boys and girls at this stage, and b) 3 lines is a girl thing, but not till later.

So I would say it's fairly inconclusive at the moment with a definite leaning towards BOY! :) If so... SIX boys?!?!! :D I did not feel the least bit disappointed, which I am EVER SO glad about, phew! :)

Oh, other things to report - Benjamin stayed at home with Sarah (our friend from church) and the big boys! He was FINE, and I feel so proud of him! :) They build train tracks around the room, had a snack, and started watching Mary Poppins just before we got home - we were only gone just over an hour. So we only had Samuel with us, and he was a perfect angel - I do not boast or kid! ;) He sat in silence without even shifting his position, on Neil's lap leaning against Neil's chest, either with his thumb in his mouth or just watching open-mouthed, bless his sweet tiny heart! :) At the very end, he got so much high-pitched adoring attention from the sonographer that he suddenly leaned towards me with his arms clutching at my arm as I was lying on the bed next to him and Neil, but that was it! He was SOOOOOO good, and I am so proud of my tiny manny! Neil was able to watch and enjoy the whole scan, and listen to the lady. Also it was ever so lovely to be out with my biggest boy, er, MAN (hehe!) and my tiniest. Lovely to walk along not needing a pushchair, just chatting to my hubby while he carried my teeny Samuel in his arms (swoon, by the way - hot man carrying angelic baby, lol!). I'm sure everyone in the waiting area thought this was our complete family unit. The sonographer, when she'd finished the scan, leaned in to talk to him and said, "Are you going to have a little playmate, hey?!" and I said, "Oh he's got a few already - he's our fifth!" hehe! She was more than a little taken-aback ;) And more so at the "all boys" thing - I love that though! :) We got the football team comment again. That is a very familiar one now!

On the way home we were stuck in a bit of traffic for a few minutes, and I said to Neil, "What shall we call him, if he's really a boy?!" because I had no idea really. I had a few names in mind, and my FAVOURITE one, which I absolutely KNEW I would want to use if we ever had a sixth boy, when Samuel was new, was one that Neil had strongly vetoed in previous pregnancies and I could never see him considering it. I still held it in my heart, but have put it to the back burner and considered a few others (Toby, Noah, Josiah, etc) in more recent months. In the car Neil told me a name had come to mind recently but he couldn't remember it. And then suddenly he did - and said, "Elijah" Well, thank goodness I had my seatbelt on because that's the very name he's vetoed and which I longed to name a 6th boy!! :D I couldn't believe it. I kept saying, "Really?! REALLY?!" hehe! He said he just thought of it one day and liked it. I love it because it goes - Arthur, Matthew, Nathan, Benjamin, Samuel and Elijah. And it's a different letter - I think I like the idea of none of the boys sharing a first initial, makes the post easier when they get to be older and get their own letters and packages! I guess I'm the opposite of the Duggars in that respect! ;) I also love love LOVE the meaning: "The LORD is my God" How much more awesome could the meaning of a name possibly get?! :)

The last male person in our families that we have left to honour by using their name for a middle name for one of our boys, is my grandfather. He gave his name to his only son as a middle name, and then apparently seemed a bit upset that my parents didn't pass it on to my brother (who got Robert Edward - my other grandfather who had died, and Edward because my parents just liked it!). There's never been a vibe or anything said about our boys' middle names as far as his name is concerned, but now he has SIX great grandsons (my five and my nephew) with no sign of his name yet! His name is Douglas, which I had thought of potentially using one day but decided against, mainly because it means black river (or dark water at some sources) and I feel strongly about the meanings of names, spiritually. But when paired with Elijah (we talked about this in the car), I like it. "The LORD is my God" trumps "black/dark river/water" any day! ;) The Lord is God over the realms of darkness, and maybe the whole name will stand for that, which I like. I REALLY like the flow, and the way the names go well together - Elijah Douglas, and it sounds fine with our surname tagged on the end. And more than anything else, I LOVE being able to bless my grandfather by using his name (at last!) - I know he will be so moved and touched by it.

So by the time we got home, we were 100% certain on a boy's name for our baby - Elijah Douglas! :) So happy! And I think he IS a boy, so that's his name! I won't refer to it until the next scan when the gender is confirmed, and I'll keep on with Sausage for now - and obviously there's a chance the baby might be a girl still, so I will wait! But I feel so excited to KNOW if it's a boy, he'll be Elijah - can't describe how excited and happy I am to meet him already, knowing his name! :)

I did then tell Neil about the name Rachel for the first time, and he immediately did not want to use that name if we have a girl. He has already chosen a girl's name that he likes (which is actually the same name we had chosen for Matthew if he had been a girl!) - Emma Jane. Jane is my mummy, Emma is a name we have both liked for years, AND my great-grandmother's name - she was my grandfather, Douglas's mother, and died when I was 16. So either way we'd honour Grandoug with names, and we are both happy about that. I am not 100% convinced about Emma Jane for our baby even though I still really like it, but then I have really had Rachel on my heart, so perhaps that's all it is... Either that or it's because the baby is a BOY and I know it in my knower somewhere, lol! ;)

[Edited to add the obvious: NAME A TOTAL SECRET UNTIL BIRTH!!! Thank you! :) ]

My next scan is now booked for January 10th at 2.40pm, so I will find out then! Yay!

I absolutely need to go and eat something now as I'm feeling really sick, bleurgh! WORTH IT though! :) I put the pictures on Sausage's ultrasound gallery which I made yesterday - it seems to have come up as the most recent post even though I made a big long waffly updatey one right afterwards... Anyway, must go! Back soon :)

Ultrasound Gallery for Baby #6!

This is the ultrasound gallery for all of the scan pictures I get for my 6th baby, currently known as 'Sausage' (until we know the gender and the name!) :)

Due to a lot of bleeding from 3 weeks pregnant onwards, I had an early scan at 6 weeks and 5 days, where we saw a sweet little blob with a tiny flickering heartbeat. The baby was squished up against the wall of my uterus, and against the yolk sac on the other side, and we could not 100% clearly see whether there was another baby behind the first one! Sometimes it looked like a mirrored heartbeat next to it as well. So I was booked for a second scan 10 days later. I didn't get a picture at the first one, but here's the picture from the second scan:



The picture above is from my second ultrasound, at 8 weeks and 1 day pregnant. This was mainly to confirm whether there was ONE baby, or another one hiding behind Sausage! ;) Also to check on the subchorionic haematoma. Sausage (only one!) was measuring accurately for dates, and was wiggly, apparently! He/she was standing on his/her head in this photo, with the yolk sac behind the little bottom. Such a sweet little person! :)







Sausage's ultrasound pictures from the scan at 12 weeks and 5 days - measuring spot on for dates (well, a day behind but hardly worth mentioning!). SUCH a wiggly baby that I had a hard time really getting a good look at the genital tubercle. What I did see of it seemed kind of angled to me (sometimes really quite an angle) but he/she was flinging his/her pelvis around, lol! So it was hard to say. Probably a boy though! ;) Sweet little baby! In all the pictures (which the sonographer found hard to take as the little one wouldn't keep still enough!), Sausage was playing with his/her feet and kicking and punching about!  Here are the pictures from Elijah's 20 week scan, where we got good confirmation that he is definitely a boy! ;) 

Little knee-to-face!  Profile - not the best picture, but still happy to have it! :)  My favourite! So darling - his little face straight on! I love the tiny features, his heart-shaped face and tiny chinny!

12 weeks, 4 days - scan tomorrow!! :D

Another week since I updated last, tsk tsk! It wasn't intentional, but never mind.

So I am in my second trimester, yaaaaaay! I love having the first trimester behind me! :) My baby is out of the most risky zone, which is always a relief to know! And my scan is TOMORROOOOOWWW!!! I'm so excited! We found someone to watch the boys - the same friend from church (Sarah) who watched them for the last couple of pregnancies when we had scans. Before that we used to ask my grandparents, when there were fewer children to watch, and they were less frail than they are now. We haven't told them yet (still procrastinating and not sure what to do about it!). Anyway, so happy that Sarah could come round tomorrow and stay with the boys (definitely Arthur, Matthew, and Nathan, and I would LOVE Benjamin to happily stay too, but I doubt he will), while we go to the hospital for the scan. We'll be taking Samuel, of course, and likely Benjamin, though I'm feeling slightly exasperated about that already because he is not keen on dark rooms and whines to go out straight away, and well, the lighting is very low in the u/s rooms - pretty much just the screen are light and that's it. I think he'll whine and fuss and Neil will have to take the little ones out, and then it'll just be me. I don't mind being on my own to see my baby, but I wish Neil could see the baby too without having to wrangle little ones! He doesn't mind a bit though. I hope they're fine, otherwise the staff get fidgetty and ask him to take them out (we're not really supposed to take noisy children there at all apparently, but there's nothing else for it!).

Arthur's birthday was on Wednesday - I have a 7 year old! Can you believe it?! Going back in my pregnancy blog (which you'd have to do by going to my original pregnancy blog at Diaryland, before Samuel's pregnancy, and probably the end of Benjamin's), I started writing about pregnancy and growing our family in 2003, when we were planning to start trying to conceive our first baby! And now our first baby is SEVEN - wowsers! And we're expecting our sixth :) Wonderful!

I am now going to eat birthday cake, as I'm feeling sick and need to fix it. Back in a minute! ;)

Back, and a bit better.

I just uploaded my 11 week belly picture to Sausage's belly gallery - definitely bigger than 6 weeks, lol! I am showing MUCH more this week, at 12 weeks, than even last week. I know I was showing at 11 weeks, but this week it seems my womb has "popped" up and I'm alllmost able to wear maternity clothes, just not quite! It's that frustrating in between stage where I'm uncomfy in normal clothes (and nothing fits me properly!) and my jeans are not hanging onto my hips too well, as my waist has disappeared completely, lol! But maternity bottoms are really baggy on my tummy still, whether they're the "panel" style or not. Tsk! I did find a pair today that almost did the trick, but they were just a little bit too loose to wear still. Soon though! :) I'm excited, and I have sooooo many more clothes to wear in my maternity wardrobe than my non-maternity, which is fun - it's as if I spend more time pregnant than not, by the clothing situation! ;) (which I currently DO, as of February 2004! :D )

I also made an Ultrasound Gallery for Sausage, which I'll post right before this one in a minute. Then it's there ready to add Sausage's pictures from tomorrow! :) I can't WAIT to see Sausage!!!! I hope everything is going okay in there. I did get a teeensy glimpse of my tiny one on Thursday, because I had a kidney scan again to check on the little bit of extra fluid still sitting in the kidney on my right side, where I had a kidney stone block the way in the summer and looooads of fluid backed up in my kidney. I had one of those silent consultants this time! He didn't say a word to me the whole time (except "breathe in...(wait 98 minutes)... aaand out... (pause of 2 seconds)... breathe in... (hold for 134 minutes)... and out again." I was soooo out of breath after a very short while of this!), nor indicate what he was seeing - which I found frustrating! I really want to KNOW what's going on with my kidney and not have to wait until JANUARY 26TH when my follow-up appointment with the urologist finally comes around on the waiting list!!! :/ He asked at one point if I'd ever passed a kidney stone, like he had reason to wonder (he didn't know my history as he was a locum), and I said yes. He asked when, and I said, in July. He paused and then said, "A small one?" I said no, not particularly. And that's all he said. Which leaves me wondering WHY he asked?! :S Anyway, I might ask my GP in a couple of weeks, as she should have some sort of report by then.

Anyway. He scanned my right kidney for a while, and then my left one, and then he had me lie on my back and started to scan my bladder. As he went to do so, I said, "Oh, there's a baby down there!" because he didn't seem to know - thought I'd give him the heads up, haha! I also tried my best to squirm my head around to see the screen, but it was turned to the consultant - I could just about see a sliver of the screen, and I was aware of seeing a baby and some movement briefly, but just as a grainy blurry movement, not actually being able to see body parts. Anyway the slight glimpse of an alive baby was precious all the same! :) Dr. Silent said nothing at all! At the end he stopped the scan and said he was finished with me and I could go. I sat up and turned to get off the bed, and then I saw the screen with the last image frozen on it. It was a tiny little person in a starfish pose, hehe! Looking from behind the baby's back, all the limbs were stretched out like a dear little starfish, with the head at the top, aaaahhhh so precious! :) What a busy wiggly little person he/she must be (as already demonstrated at the last two scans!)! He turned and saw me sitting there smiling at the screen, and said unfeelingly, "There's your child. Viable." lol! He was so blunt and non-chatty it was funny - the way he said that! But it was still music to my ears: viable! Yay! That means ALIVE and kicking! :) I can't wait to see more of my sweetie pea tomorrow!

I've been having some Braxton Hicks contractions here and there - I am reminded to write it because one has just started now! :) They do start earlier with subsequent pregnancies. I am now able to verify the feeling I get because I can press my hand into my tummy a few inches below my tummy button and feel that my womb is a little hard ball at those times. I have also started to feel Sausage move and wiggle a little bit here and there, and sometimes a Braxton Hicks will be followed by a wiggle :) I feel like this baby is already showing personality, definitely different from some of my others even now. I love that! I mostly feel Sausage move when I am lying on my side, slightly turned onto my back as I'm feeding Samuel (or Benjamin, once) at bedtime or nap time.

My milk is still there and seems fairly normal in quantity to me, except that Samuel has pretty much doubled his appetite this past week. He seems extra hungry for food at meal times and snack times, and will feed from both sides when I nurse him. He isn't usually disinterested whenever I offer him the breast, even if it isn't really time for him to feed yet. So I wonder if my milk is less plentiful this week? Benjamin is still breastfeeding and seems just as before, though he's 2 and I don't think he's fussed about quantity or anything like that! He likes the taste of milky, but mostly I think it's a comfort thing. He nurses several times a day and at bedtime, on demand usually, though he does demand and I say no, probably two or three times in the day as well. I am tending more towards making sure Samuel has all he needs before offering Benjamin some, now that Samuel seems extra hungry. He may just be having a growth spurt I guess, but I have to consider that it might be the milk supply, given that I'm now 12 weeks pregnant. They both still gulp and swallow heftily for quite some minutes, so it doesn't seem to me like there's a shortage - and they'll do the same a couple of hours later if offered... Anyway, maybe it's starting to slow up a bit. Samuel isn't waking more than usual at night to feed though, so it's not desperate! :)

I've felt really sick this week with the morning sickness. Some parts of the day on one or two days I wondered if it was starting to ease up. But some evenings I have felt like it's the worst it has ever been! So I don't think it's going anywhere just yet! I feel sick as soon as I start eating for the day. Some mornings I really dread having to eat breakfast! Although it will start anyway if I let myself get hungry, so there's not much difference. And NOW after all this time ALL foods are giving me a horrid bitter aftertaste (that's usually something that starts early on but didn't this time) which makes my mouth water, which REALLY aggravates my nausea. I also have much more post-nasal goop when I am nauseated - vicious cycle. I can always tell when my nausea seems to be getting better when I am not having to blow my nose so often! Weird but true, with all my pregnancies. Swallowing goop really makes me feel sick, and yet the goop comes WITH the nausea as part of my morning sickness, for some reason. Anyway I have all the above at the moment. Bleurgh.

I am not particularly expecting my morning sickness to disappear soon, because only Matthew's pregnancy was nausea-free at 12 weeks. Arthur was 16 weeks, Nathan was 18 weeks, Benjamin was 14 weeks, and Samuel TWENTY weeks, urgh! So I'm only 12 weeks pregnant and continuing to HOPE that soon it'll go away, but statistically speaking, it might not for another month or two. We'll see! I'm just grateful it's manageable. I am feeling sick but able to eat food fine. I can also enjoy my food so long as I don't let myself get too hungry to start with. I am loving three slices of toast and marmite for breakfast these days, and a yummy meal in the evening is really enjoyable. I am avoiding garlic and anything very oniony (including leeks) and so long as I'm doing that, eating is fine and doesn't make me feel worse for it, usually. It's 2 minutes AFTER finishing eating that I start to feel horrid, because that's when the bitter taste and watering mouth begins. Then I need to nibble when the nausea sets in and keep on nibbling with short breaks until I can escape from it by going to bed and falling asleep for the night! Often I get in bed feeling SO nauseated and hoping I won't be sick, but I feel fairly confident that I just need to fall asleep and then I'll feel better.

I think my nausea has been aggravated this week by my womb popping up. My whole intestines are REALLY annoyed about the shift in location, haha! I am having some IBS and just feeling horrid and bloated with it, and that makes me nauseated when NOT pregnant, so it's not really surprising that I feel yucky with it now. It might even be the only reason that my nausea is worse this week. Neil says it rings a bell from previous pregnancies at the time my womb popped up, like there was an adjustment period and my IBS did not appreciate it for a week or so! ;) I hope it calms down soon.

I'm still feeling very tired, but not too bad if I rest/sleep enough. Neil is always wonderful about letting me lie in, and I feel quite well rested this weekend, despite night wakings and TWO days out - to Hampton Court Palace on Thursday with Neil and the boys, and to the zoo yesterday, both for Arthur's birthday. Hampton Court Palace WORE ME OUT, and I felt really unwell after about an hour or so of walking. I got that sudden "warning" thing where my body yells at me to sit down, and I MUST immediately or else I very quickly progress to nausea, shakes, breathlessness, etc. I had no choice but to keep walking, as Benjamin was trailing behind and the others went on ahead too far for me to signal for help! I got slower than Benjamin in the end, and had no breath to answer him when he chatted to me. Once we got to the others, and I explained, I was able to sit on a bench for a while and eat some chocolate (found some in my pocket). I don't think it's a blood sugar thing with me - I think it's either just plain unfitness (though I'm not convinced about that) or a need for protein - or fluids, with my low blood pressure. Anyway I was really nervous about going to the zoo for more hours, only 2 days later! But it was fine. I did get that feeling after a couple of hours but sat down straight away. Eventually it wasn't really going even when I was sitting, so Neil sat with the boys while I went slooowwwly to a nearby gift shop and bought a Toffee Crisp and a fruit drink. I sat down and had those and felt LOADS better after that. I was fine for the rest of the time, but I did take it more gently from then on.

I really need to start making sure I get plenty of sleep at night, so I will have less and less time to update online as I try to put that in place. The boys often aren't asleep until 8 or 8.30 - well, the last boy anyway! We stay with them until they're asleep, all but Arthur and Matthew. And Matthew is one of the first to fall asleep usually, anyway. By then, it's 8 - 8.30pm. I know I'm not going to fit much in online if I'm trying to get to bed by 10pm which I really MUST start doing, pregnant or not. I want to start getting up much earlier in the mornings (before the boys are awake!) to get my priorities straight and pray and be ready for the day. Never tried such a feat before, and rather nervous that I will fall flat trying, but I really want to start doing it. So I think my online time will have to be squeezed out to a large degree. I am not sure what else can possibly give!

Anyway, I will update tomorrow hopefully, with the scan pics and details - yay! Hope to get a glimpse of that little genital tubercle! :) Lately I have noticed I'm enjoying tomato ketchup on my food more, and marmite on my toast (both salty). AND after my last entry here, I seem to be more interested in protein. Still not craving it as such, but definitely wanting to add cheese to my pasta sauce, or baked beans with breaded fish, when I don't normally. And chicken - enjoying chicken this week! :) So, it's probably a boy after all! ;)

11 weeks, 4 days - catching up!

Aaaargh, the days have flown by lately! It's late and I'm really too tired to update my blog but I know I'll blink and reach 12 weeks without updating otherwise, and then STILL not be able to update because Arthur's birthday (Wednesday) is the day I turn 12 weeks (yay, second trimester!!!) and I will be too busy! So here I am! :)

I feel like there's not really much to report this week. Still nauseous, the same as before. It IS manageable though. I am able to eat whatever is on hand. When I'm feeling sick, all food is unthinkable, but I eat it anyway knowing that I'll feel better, and I do. Generally. On a bad day (not often) nothing makes me feel better once I'm really feeling grim, but it's still manageable. My morning sickness is a lot worse when I am really bloated and IBS-y. A LOT worse. Then my nausea doesn't feel so manageable, but then I am often nauseous to an unmanageable level with my IBS when NOT pregnant, so that reassures me! ;)

Sometimes I feel lightheaded or breathless, and I presume that's my low blood pressure or something. I am really not drinking enough fluids - they are still the hardest thing to manage, though it continues to be easier this pregnancy than any of the others.

Today we made the Christmas cakes and allll the boys helped, and it completely exhausted me! I mean, I was shaking and breathless by the time we finished, lol! I didn't really recover with lying down, so since it was around lunchtime, I ate 2 boiled eggs and half a tin of baked beans on toast with a glass of milk. I figured protein would be the way to go, and it did make me feel a lot better for an hour or so. It's been a very physically tired-out day today. I think the little one is really growing lately. One day this past week, I was SO hungry! I didn't get to eat breakfast until 8.45am and then I HAD to eat two slices of toast and marmite and a cup of tea at 10.30 (scrunchingly hungry!), and then I ate a big lunch at 1.30! I couldn't believe I'd eaten 3 meals in less than 5 hours, lol! I think I ate 3 more meals before bedtime, but two of them were smaller - bigger than snacks though. I'm sure Sausage has been having a growth spurt! :)

The boys ask me most days how big Sausage is now (especially Nathey, and sometimes Matthew), and I am actually not sure - I haven't looked it up for a week or two! I will probably be surprised at how big he/she is getting in there!

I am finally starting to show this week, and I missed taking a photo at 10 weeks, but Neil took one for me for 11 weeks a couple of days ago. I was surprised how much I am showing, because I don't FEEL like I do just yet. I do think most of it is bloat though, although Sausage is definitely part of it, because he/she is now filling my pelvis, so what used to reside there is now filling out my waist line! ;) I will put the photo on the belly gallery (have I made one??!) tomorrow hopefully - it's still on the camera and I am too tired to get that done tonight.

We went out as a family to a fireworks display for Bonfire Night last night, and just as the fireworks were starting, I was trying to take a photo of the boys watching them. I was slouching slightly to get the right angle, but still I was wearing my thick winter coat, done up! And Arthur stopped gasping at the fireworks and suddenly yelled, "MUMMY! YOUR TUMMY'S GETTING BIG!!!!" with such excitement, lol! So sweet, my boys! They're all so thrilled about the new baby! :)

What else? Still haven't told my grandparents... had a discussion with my parents where they sweetly offered to tell them for us, and that is seriously tempting. But I am not sure. I must tell them in plenty of time for Christmas, because for the first time in YEEEARS my family is getting together at Christmas (my baby brother is hosting Christmas at his house - how can he possibly be this grown-up?!?! Never mind that he's in his 30s, haha!) and it will be a really special day. I don't want them to be all grouchy about the pregnancy on that day. I would LOVE to not tell them until next year, lol! But I'll be 18 and a half weeks on Christmas Day, and definitely not able to hide my pregnancy, going by my previous belly pictures at that stage! ;) I don't want to tell them on the day in case they aren't nice about it. Ugh. So I need to tell them much earlier so that they have time to "get over it" and be happy - which they WILL get around to. It takes them some weeks though. Which means I am running out of time! I just do not fancy telling them yet. I am going to wait until after my scan.

Talking of the scan, it's only a week TOMORROW!!! 8 days to go, yay! I can't wait to see my little one all baby-looking on the screen! :) I know I will get a glimpse of whether Sausage is a he or a she too, and I'm excited about that! We still don't have anyone to watch the boys, but I am really hoping we'll find someone. Neil said this evening that he'll just stay home with them for the scans. Whaaaaat?!?! I was really sad that he said that so easily. I don't know. It means a lot to me that he's there for special things like scans, and these days I have to go to my early "is the baby alive or not?" scans by myself, which I do NOT prefer to do, but which we really have no choice over. The main thing is how, what's the word?... urgh, my pregnant brain can't think of a thing! It's the opposite to a thesaurus, lol! BLANK. Give me another word for 'fun'! Brain: "Uhhhhh..." Okay, how about another word for 'sad'? C'mon, what's the word I'm looking for?! Brain: "Uhhhhh..." Seriously. That is my brain these days. It's not flattering, folks.

Anyway! It's more that Neil doesn't seem to mind one bit having not-too-much to do with the things about my pregnancies that I find exciting or "essential". It's not a reflection on how much he loves the babies, or wants them. Just how he is with all of them really, when I'm pregnant. Not too connected. I know that's normal, and also I know already that it's just how Neil IS. It's okay. But sometimes I feel it, like when I'm excited about US getting to see our baby together for the first time, and maybe even a glimpse of boy or girl baby, and the possibility of being told there is something wrong... and he casually suggests that he stays home to watch the boys instead. He's thinking of them, which I LOVE, and feel selfish for thinking this way, but I do wish at special times he would think more of me than the boys. Probably wrong! But anyway, just my feelings for the moment. They'll change, I'm sure! :) I did tell him most of what I just wrote, that the two big scans are special and I really REALLY want him to be there - what if something is wrong? I do not want to be on my own, and just show him a picture when I get home, that seems so sad to me! :( He said okay, and we'll look some more for somebody to watch the boys. He's a sweet hubby and such a lovely daddy. :)

My milk seems to be okay still... I think in other pregnancies it has really started to dry up from about 14 weeks, quite quickly. Last time it lasted longer, and there was even some actual "gulpy" milk there when Samuel was born!! I was so surprised! All the other times it had been all gone by 20 weeks and only the new colostrum was there afterwards. I did pray last pregnancy that my milk would continue long enough to sustain my current baby (Benjamin) until he turned one, without the need to supplement with formula. The age gap was slightly smaller than previous times, and I knew I would have to get to about 18 weeks before he turned one, with enough milk for him to be having full feeds as needed alongside solid food. Amazingly, God provided, and my milk was plentiful enough until he turned one, and then dried up a lot, RIGHT after. He went onto cows milk on his first birthday. The age gap is the same with Samuel and the new baby, so I will be 18 weeks pregnant when he turns one. I hope my milk lasts! So far so good :) I think I am noticing subtle changes, like just now I went to feed Samuel when he woke (he is nursing on demand, day and night still) and felt my milk let down with quite a sting, and realised that's the first time I've felt a stinging let-down in a few weeks maybe. So I think the quantity isn't what it was, or something. Benjamin still nurses APLENTY, on demand pretty much, during the day. I will nurse him during the evening if he wakes from a bad dream or really wants me and can't settle down (Neil usually goes to him in the evening if he wakes), but never at night now (he's 2 and a quarter, so that's probably okay, lol!). I often have times during the day when I need to lie down on the living room floor, and Benjamin takes this as a cue to curl into my side and breastfeed :) Samuel sometimes joins in, but not always. Benjamin is far more eager to nurse than Samuel - very much like Arthur was, and Matthew less enthusiastic just like Samuel. Anyway, when they are tandem nursing, they always both gulp and gulp, so I know there is plenty of milk. A couple of hours later (or less) when it's time to do it again, or put Samuel down for a nap, gulping still occurs, so hopefully I'm making plenty, for now. There are 7 more weeks until Samuel can have cows milk, and I'm kind of aware of it! Nervous that I'll have enough for him to make it there, and hopeful now, with only a few weeks to go!

What else? Some foods are tasting bitter to me - white bread, cheese, and crackers, and sometimes crisps. I don't really like starchy carbs this pregnancy. They're okay, and will still do the job to relieve nausea a little if I need to eat something, but they give me a bit of a rubbish aftertaste. Wholemeal bread doesn't have the same aftertaste, so I eat that instead. I usually eat that anyway.

I am really not needing protein like I have done in my other pregnancies, and I'm interested in this fact because at MOMYS I found a post written by a friend who was in our due date group for July '09 when I was pregnant with Benjamin. We both had 3 boys and were expecting our fourth boys together. After I had Samuel she became pregnant again, and I found a post from her that was about gender and food. She had NEEDED lots of protein in her first 4 pregnancies and didn't seem to need it so much this time around, and wondered if she could make anything of that. Lots of people replied saying they were sure she would have a girl, because that's how they found it when they finally got pregnant with a girl - you have to understand that these ladies have had 4 or 5 or SIX boys in a row and then a girl, so they know what they're talking about, lol! ;) Last I read, she had an ultrasound right near the end of her pregnancy which said 'boy'. I checked up on her recently and she was VERY surprised at her home birth to have a baby girl! :) So happy for her! And now very very intrigued about the protein....

I know I craved, or maybe just NEEDED, eggs, during my other pregnancies at some point. I can't remember if it was this early, or later. But I loved my eggs and meat. And I coped with morning sickness with a lot of bland white carbs, and CHEESE - lots of cottage cheese, cheddar cheese, etc. I remember someone commenting on my diary when I was pregnant with Arthur or Matthew, saying I was soooo having a boy because I wanted eggs every day, and she had had 4 boys and could relate to WANTING protein like that. This pregnancy I really haven't wanted protein much. I eat it, and enjoy it, but don't feel like I really need it. I even set out this pregnancy, for the first time, to tackle morning sickness with protein. But I haven't stuck with it, and I don't know if it really made any difference for me when I was doing it, over non-protein foods that is. I ate egg today and it was yummy, but I haven't been eating eggs at all really, just because I haven't wanted to. I am eating cheese, and it's okay. I have not eaten cottage cheese more than once this entire pregnancy! I bought some, because it was the thing to do, since I was pregnant and all, haha! It was nice. It did not call my name though, and actually I let a pot of cottage cheese go past its date in the fridge by mistake, because I really didn't want or need it. I am not eating much meat really this trimester, but only because making it is nauseating because it usually involves onions (which are my only BIG enemy, along with garlic, this pregnancy). This week I have wanted to have something "chicken", which is the first inkling of wanting anything protein-y. This evening we had a chicken stir fry, and it was nice, but not "gghhaaaaaagggghah" Homer Simpson style "nice", if you know what I mean! My body didn't go, "Ahhhhh, thank you SO much for this amazing foooood!" It was just nice, and I would eat it again soon if I had some more. So that is unusual for me I think. Normally I am all about my meat and eggs and cheese. I have weird cravings for fast food burgers or hotdogs (NEVER eat those or even like them, any other time!). None at all this time.

So after the post I read, I wonder... Could I really be having a girl?! I will not let my brain even think about that until the scan, because I know I will get a good idea one way or the other, and it's only 8 days away. I'm not thinking further about names until then either, for the same reason.

Aaaargh, it's so late!!! I must go to bed! Will write more another time. Only 3 days until my first trimester is behind me and I'm into the excitement of the 2nd trimester! Yaaay! :D

[ETA: Oh my goodness, Sausage is now FIVE cms from head to bottom!!!!! I didn't think he/she was so big already! The palm of my hand would be a perfect cradle for that tiny sweetheart right now :) I have not felt the baby move yet. Once or twice I wondered, and went still as a mouse, but nothing. What I might have felt was not convincing enough for me to be sure it wasn't my not-too-happy-with-life bowel or something, hehe! So, nothing yet. But soon!! :D ]