Samuel's Birth Story - Heather's notes!

Have just found Heather's notes that she jotted down during my labour with Samuel! I have written bits and pieces of birth story for him here since his birth, and it's pretty much complete, just not with as much detail as usual. Heather couldn't find my birth plan from last time, and asked me to check my saved emails in case I still have the one she emailed me last time. I did find it this morning, and also came across a Word document with her typed-up notes from the labour and birth! :) They're fairly short and bullet-pointed, but it was SO lovely to read them! There are a few things I didn't even know/remember, like I had no idea Samuel had the cord around his neck and body and needed untangling when he came out! Not sure how I missed that kind of detail, but I guess I was a tad overwhelmed at the time, lol! I don't have time to write a big birth story with my previous stuff and Heather's stuff combined (though I'd much prefer to have it recorded that way, like the other birth stories), but I can at least copy and paste Heather's notes here for people to read if they're interested, and for my own records here. I love that she sometimes notes things that I've said, or that one of the boys have said or done during the process - just as an aside to remember or laugh at later! :)

Here's the whole lot, copied directly from the document:


21/12/10

(Note – 41+2 today, and exactly 1 week on from the date Alice thought it would be!)

06:50    Get a call from A to say she’s having “hard, painful ctx” but not sure of regularity or length.  She’s been up most of the night with Benjamin, who’s been quite sad, and she’s also been having diarrhoea.  She had a bloody show last night and has been losing browny pink mucous overnight.

07:30    Arrive to find A very perky and fairly cheerful.  The boys are up and quite vocal…  Ctx coming 2 – 8 mins apart, short, but, says A, “the real deal!”  I suggest she calls the midwives to let them know things are happening.  She calls the hospital and talks to a mw who is a bit patronising until A tells her it’s her 5^th baby – her tone changes completely!  Says mw will call her back.

07:35    Mw calls back, and, to our delight, it’s Mandy!  She’s on an early shift, but is fairly sure A will deliver in that time.  She has a few things to do, then will make her way here.

 08:10   All is calm and quiet in here – the rest of the house is less so, and we can hear nappy changing and eczema cream application going on downstairs under protest!  I have changed the sheets, so that baby Samuel can be born onto the same meconium-stained sheet that Benjamin was born on….

08:15    Mandy arrives.  A ctx roughly 3:10 probably lasting 30-50 secs (although not easy to work out as she makes no noise or change of breathing).  M does routine obs which are all fine.  She palpates & listens to baby Samuel, who sounds very happy.  He hasn’t moved this morning, so it’s reassuring to hear his healthy heartbeat.

08:40    M has asked for the Christmas tree to be moved off the stairs in case we need to transfer in an emergency.  The boys are a bit manic, so Neil resorts to Smarties on the sofa while he moves the tree, saying rather shamefacedly to me, “Bribery & corruption…” but I answer, “That’s what Smarties are for.”  The tree goes onto the school table, while the boys munch on Smarties & stare wide-eyed.  N moves the tree with great ease and I am very impressed.

08:45    M looks through the birth plan and is happy with everything except 3^rd stage, which she would much rather do with syntometrine “as it’s your 5^th baby” and because of the further bleeding risk of the succenturiate lobe.  A thinks it over and agrees.

09:05    M has asked if she can stay in the room.  A has declined a VE, so M wants to observe how she’s progressing.  A is happy with this, so M sits on a chair at the end of the bed, silently, and does paperwork.  I sit on the floor, next to the bed, and knit.  A is still contracting silently, but it looks as though they are getting longer and stronger.

09:30    I go in search of towels, and Arthur helps me find some in the airing cupboard.  He says it’s ok to use the one they usually use for a bath, “because we had a bath yesterday”.  He asks if the baby’s coming yet and I tell him not to expect the baby until after lunch, or maybe not even until teatime.  I don’t think it will be that long, but it’s better to say that so he’s not asking every 5 minutes!

            We discover that the radiator in A’s room isn’t on, and the dial is turned to the snowflake sign, which is appropriate for the snowy weather….  I crank it up to full.  Next it’s a search for the thermometer – Neil looks in all the usual places downstairs, and we eventually find it upstairs in A’s drawer.  A is feeling a bit anxious (good sign…) and quite nauseous (another good sign…) so I give her a peppermint flannel.  Ctx much longer and more intense now – slight changes in A’s breathing.  FH good after ctx.

09:45    A has zoned out a lot more now, and taken off her glasses.  She’s lying on her right side, eyes closed most of the time.  She says she’s feeling “searing pain quite low, and moving round to the buttocks”.  M is trying to work out when to call the 2^nd mw.  From observation of last time, I’d say there’s at least another couple of hours to go.  All is fairly quiet downstairs and the boys are listening to a story tape.  So far, the Christmas tree is still standing and unmolested….

10:10    N comes in to say that Benjamin has gone to sleep, which is good news.  The others are watching Postman Pat.  M is checking equipment etc. outside the room, and apart from periodically asking in a whisper if she can listen in or do an ob, she’s being marvellously silent.  I’m still sitting by the bed, still knitting.  My sense is that A needs a lot less reassurance than she did last time, so I’m staying quiet, although I do move the “Fear not” scripture from the wall behind A to the side of the chest of drawers so she can see it.  A’s breathing changes with most ctx, and she’s doing gentle blowing now.  FH still excellent.  I ask A if she’s feeling safe and she says she’s feeling a lot more secure now she’s not feeling so nauseous (good old peppermint – works every time!)  No idea what the weather is like outside as the curtains are closed, but snow is forecast for about midday.  How lovely to have a baby boy born on a snowy day so close to Jesus’ birthday!

10:50    A says the last 3 ctx have been stronger, and she feels that her buttocks “are moving apart by themselves” so M thinks it’s a good idea to call Becky, the 2^nd mw.  It will probably take her a little while to sort out her car and get here in the snow.  M prepares the syntometrine.  The atmosphere in the room is very peaceful and calm – it’s so lovely not to have to keep shushing the mws or get them out of the way!

            M looks at A’s rear end through a ctx.  There’s no visible purple line that I can see, but A can feel “the bottom thing” during ctx! [note from me: the purple line Heather is talking about is something that is visible above the buttocks with full dilation or close to full dilation. It's an observation sign that my midwife uses (at Heather's suggestion with Benjamin's birth) because I refuse internal examinations, to see if I'm getting near to the 2nd stage yet.]

11:00    A blows into her hand for the first time (good sign) and needs to wiggle her toes to get through ctx.

11:10    Mw Becky arrives, and starts chatting quite loudly, but M takes her out of the room to update her, telling her that A prefers no chat in the room.  A is lying on her left side now, so I have moved onto the bed where she can see me, and I’m not in the way.

11:25    A is starting to feel the chest/throat constriction, and puts her hand over her eyes.  She’s feeling lots of pressure which is still sore after the ctx have gone.  B is in the room with M now, and they communicate in the quietest of whispers.  M whispers to B, “She doesn’t look like she’s in labour, does she?”  No, but we know different if the past 4 births are anything to go by!  Samuel is moving + + which is rather uncomfortable for A.  I go to give N an update and say I wouldn’t be surprised if it was in the next hour or so.

11:40    A has been quite flushed (normal for her in labour) and M suggests we exchange the duvet for a sheet.  Suddenly A says, “I’m so hot!” so I wipe her face with the flannel and she says, “Oh, that’s so nice!”  M says, “they’ve definitely slowed down since B arrived.”  Immediately, A has a big ctx, hiding behind her hand and making some little noises (this is new).  Baby Samuel is supremely happy on the Sonicaid with the odd acceleration but no decels.  A reluctantly gets up to go to the loo and rushes (as far as that’s possible….) to lie down again!  While she’s out of the room, M comments that it’s helpful to have seen A in labour before, otherwise she would have thought not much was happening and might have gone away to do some visits.  I say, “I wouldn’t have let you!”  I can tell from what M & B are saying to each other that they are noticing ctx have slowed.  They’re not seeming anxious, just commenting, but I’m sure this is just “rest & be thankful”/transition type stuff.  I’m never sure why mws get so windy about this – it’s classic labour behaviour.

11:55    Another big ctx, A blows into her hand, more noises – all good!  I say, “did that one feel different?” A says, “Yes.”  I ask, “How different?” and she says, “That horrible end bit!”  then adds, “You’re going to write that down now, aren’t you?!”

12:00    Another big one, and A needs to hold my hand.  More noises of the “Ow!” and “Ooh!” sort….  A says, “I really don’t like this bit – how much longer now?”  I answer, “We never answer that question…”  The next one is much more in her bottom.

12:25    A says, “I don’t think I want to do any more.”  We hear Benjamin crying downstairs and asking for the Hoover.  A is needing to hold my hand for every ctx.  She’s feeling pressure with every ctx, and beginning to bear down.  Says she can feel “fanning out”.  She needs reminding to blow into her hand.  M can now see prgress from the outside (anal dilation and purple line).  B goes to tell N that “progress is progressing!”  I really need the loo but don’t want to leave A now….

12:50    Manage to get a quick wee between ctx!  A’s hip is sore so she turns back to the right side and I move back onto the floor.  The ctx are very sore in A’s back so M does massage while I hold hands.  A says, “I really can’t do this.”  (Note – this is such classic transition – wonderful to watch it happening!)

13:05    Change of position to semi-reclining.  Back is still sore so I put my hand underneath and push hard into the sore bit.  M massages A’s thigh as she’s got cramp as well.  A says again, “I don’t like this bit.  I don’t want to do it.”

13:15    First involuntary push with ctx.  Says again, “I don’t want to do it.”  I tell her she needs to lose control to birth the baby.

13:32    Head visible.  M gives good directions to minimise tearing “Little push, blow, little push, blow”.  A says, “I don’t want to” so I tell her to say, “I want to see the baby” which she repeats.  I say, “Do you want to feel the head?”  A says, “No!” then “Yes!”

13:40    Waters break and are, thank God, clear and the head is born.  A says, “What’s happening?”  I say, “Head out” and A cries, “Oh, take him out, take him out!”

13:41    Baby Samuel is born!  The cord is round his neck and body, and he cries lustily while M untangles it, then Samuel goes straight onto his Mummy’s chest.  I go and call N, who hasn’t heard a thing!  He comes to the bottom of the stairs and says, “Yes?” and I say “He’s here” quietly so we don’t get a stampede!  N comes running up.

13:42    Syntometrine given.

13:47    Placenta born.  M takes it to the bathroom to check it over and there’s no succenturiate lobe!  A miracle??

14:10    Samuel has been crying lustily on and off and is still on A’s skin.  M has looked at A’s perineum and discovered a 2^nd degree tear which needs suturing.  She suggests doing it now – A isn’t great with suturing and doesn’t want to be holding Samuel while it’s done, so M suggests B takes Samuel & chacks him over (sigh)  A looks at me & I mouth, “Not before the first feed..” so A declines.  M says, “Well, put him on the boob then.”  Samuel, knowing what’s expected of him, latches on and feeds like the pro he is.

Later….

            B checks Samuel and comes back with the news that he’s a whopping 3.4kg/9lb 9oz!  He’s 59cm long and has a 38cm head circumference.  He’s their biggest boy to date!

            I hold him (lucky me!) while M does the suturing (after quite a long search for the right bulb to go in the new lamp bought expressly for the purpose!)  Samuel is still hungry and sucks on my finger the whole time.  I keep A talking throughout the suturing and it’s not nearly so bad as last time.  Samuel goes back to A and latches on again.  M gets herself ready to go then remembers she needs to do baby obs.  She discovers his breathing is a bit fast (80bpm rather than 60 or less) and makes noises about possibly needing a doc to look at him….  We both think, “Oh no!” and can’t bear the thought of having to transfer in.  M does his temp and discovers he’s a bit cold, so we wrap him up (still skin to skin) and M waits 20 minutes to do obs again.  I go downstairs and order Marmite on toast for A, then I stay down and read Frog & Toad, and The Cat in the Hat to the big brothers.

16:15    I come back upstairs to check what’s what and find M in her coat, ready to go, baby’s temp & breathing are fine and all is well – hooray!  The boys come up to say hello t the new baby brother.

Another fantastic, instinctive and triumphant birth!  Again, a privilege to witness – I look forward to many more…..

15 weeks, 6 days - kinda sorta Samuel's birth story...

I just had a quick look at my blog to see when I last updated, and it was TWO WEEKS AGO!!! That's so bad! So here I am to do something about it, lol!

Well let's see.... I will be 16 weeks pregnant tomorrow - how on earth did that happen?! I looked up Sausage's length tonight because this morning when I woke up and put my hand to my little bump where the baby is, it felt a bit tender, and there was a shape pressing out against my tummy. When I felt it carefully, I wondered if it might be Sausage's back. It was about 4-5 inches long, absolutely horizontal across my uterus (which was a bit tender at either "end"!), and maybe 1.5 to 2 inches across. I didn't really know how big Sausage might be at this stage, having not looked it up for a few weeks, so I thought I'd do so tonight. Well, at 16 weeks, Sausage should be 4.5 inches long from head to bottom! So I am pretty sure I was feeling my little baby's back pressing out for the first time! :) It felt pretty BIG to me, considering how not-that-pregnant I still feel, and look. And I'm barely feeling movements, so it's strange to feel such a large object there and know it's the baby, while not really being that "aware" of it yet!

This past week I am feeling movements more consistently, definitely every day now, and usually more than once or twice, but always sooooo faint and tiny and gentle. Sometimes I can barely tell that it was a baby wiggle. I feel squirmy movements sometimes, like a strange swirling pressing motion somewhere around my bikini line, which are a little bit uncomfortable. These last few days I have felt the first proper little pops and taps of actual kicks, but they're sooooo adorably tiny! How I LOVE this part! :D

The boys asked to hear Sausage's heart beating last week, so amidst great excitement, I used the doppler to let them hear. They LOVE hearing the boinks and splatches that show Sausage's (MANY!) vigorous movements, but this particular time it seemed very much like Sausage was asleep! :) The heart rate was steady, never changed at all over a few minutes, and it was so much slower than we've heard it before - 145bpm. Usually it's way up around 170 or something. Well, I say usually, but we haven't really listened in many times, or for a while lately. Anyway, there were two faint sounds of a foot or hand, but they were so gentle and it could easily have been a sleep movement. I am pretty sure Sausage was sleeping - so sweet! :)

On Thursday this week (16w1d) I am going for my consultant appointment at the hospital (re. the many babies and Group B Strep, etc.) like last time. I am seeing the same consultant that I saw last time so hopefully that is a GOOD thing and he won't hang heavy on anything, since we've been there and done that. I'm so thankful I'll have Heather, my doula, with me all the same!

My doula has been AMAZING these last two weeks. She is now homeschooling her 13-year-old daughter, and she phoned a week or two ago to ask if they could come round the next morning. The boys LOVE her and were so excited, and we'd never met her daughter before so that was exciting too! She turned out to love the boys so much that she wants to come and play with them regularly in the New Year - she actually suggested to her mum that they make it a weekly or fortnightly thing to give me a break!!! Amazing girl! Anyway, they came with some lovely gifts for no particular reason. They'd baked chocolate cake, and bought an advent calendar with wooden boxes, and filled each box with 5 small things (one for each boy) like stickers, sweeties, etc. Soooooo lovely! The boys are having so much fun opening the boxes now that it's December. They brought a chocolate advent calendar for ME! :) They had just finished making their own Christmas Puddings, and had one spare to give to us! I am the only person in this house who eats them, and I LOVE them. At home (growing up) we always always made them ourselves, NEVER ate shop-bought ones (they SUCK in comparison, trust me!). I have had the odd shop-bought one since, but they're really so rubbish compared to homemade that I mostly go without Christmas Pud at Christmas now :( This year I get to have some because we're having a family gathering on Christmas Day at my brother's house, and my parents are bringing the homemade Christmas Pudding!!! Yay! But Heather has brought me a real homemade one too! I'm so touched by that, and happy to get to eat my way through one over the festive period, haha!

Anyway. Heather also gave me a Christmas card and told me to open it when they had left, and not to lose it. They stayed 4 hours and built railway tracks with the boys, and read a million stories, and generally entertained the little ones so well. After the left I went in the kitchen and opened the card, and there was a cheque inside for £700!!!! I was moved to tears when I saw it, and the note with it. There was a detailed explanation but basically God had told them to give it to us, so they did. God is SO GOOD to us, providing for our needs so wonderfully. We always seem to be at the end of what we can manage with, money wise, but it doesn't mean God ISN'T providing for our needs. He sees us and He does provide, in all sorts of ways, and I'm so grateful! The timing was amazing for me because in the two days beforehand, I had just taken quite some time to think about and draft a letter to my grandparents, to announce my pregnancy. It was fairly lengthy in the end, and I explained our thoughts and reasons, etc. I emailed it to my parents to give them a heads-up (they often get phoned first when there's big news that my grandparents want to rant about!) and also because they'd give me good feedback if it needed changing. I'm happy to have sent it to them in any case because, although they know our reasons for having lots of babies, they don't agree with them and it's nice to really lay it out and remind them that we are trusting God (and that's He is faithful!). None of my family are Christians. In the letter I wrote about God providing for us financially, even though it might not seem like it, so to receive a lot of money in the next couple of days was a real encouragement to me and I know that God timed it for a reason. I love God! :)

I will copy and paste my letter here in a separate entry, I think. It will be good to have it recorded here, because my dad said that when I have my next baby after this one (Yes! He said that!!! Totally normal and casual conversation too! :D ), it will be good to plan to announce to my grandparents this way again if it proves to work well.

Anyway, so my doula rocketh! :D I love her so much. When I phoned to thank her (profusely) the next morning, she told me about her daughter's request to come over regularly to help with the boys from January (she has other commitments until then) with Heather, and ohhhh it was so lovely. To top it all off, Heather told me she has absolutely no intention of letting me pay her this time around, and that she plans to "doula" me for free! I just had no words at all. She said that she DOES do a couple of freebies a year, and this time it's me :) But she said that I'm one of her very top favourite women to doula for, because I just do birth so well (she's so encouraging, really made me beam as she told me all this!) and it's absolutely no work for her at all. She said it's quick, straightforward, and silent, haha! She turns up with no need to work with me about what to do in this or that circumstance, or to help me make decisions, etc.

I MUST write my birth story for Samuel properly, but in a nutshell, I had a membrane sweep at 41 weeks exactly, had a night of cramps, diarrhoea and nausea, and not much sleep, all along losing bloody show. I phoned her EARLY, maybe 6-something am, to ask her if she could come over, and was sort of maybe having contractions, but just generally didn't feel great and was a bit nervous, and felt sure that this would lead to something pretty soon. She came over incredibly quickly, and prayed with me and sat with me. I lay on my bed and rested. Definitely started contractions, but I can't remember when that was a sure regular labour-ish thing. Midwife came and stayed, also in my room, on a chair at the end of my bed. I lay on my side and rested. Heather brought out some peppermint oil because I felt sick (never felt sick with labour before) and within 30 mins all nausea had utterly completely vanished and never returned (so thankful!).

I really don't remember the details enough off the top of my head, but I have Heather's notes somewhere, so I'll be able to do a proper more detailed birth story soon, hopefully!

Anyway, basically they decided labour started around 9am in the end, but since I am silent and restful the midwife commented that it's hard to tell what's going on in my labours (she was at Benjamin's birth too). I just breathe, and don't talk. Heather is silent too, and when a midwife arrives she intercepts them and tells them I need silence to labour, where possible. So I do! :) My own bed, silence, rest. Dealing with contractions as they come, with breathing. Heather sits by my side, either by the bed, or on the bed on the side I'm not lying on, writing her notes as I do things that she is tuned into and which the midwives don't notice (she gave them thumbs-up signs a lot apparently, as I did things which to her meant progress, but which they might not have noticed, lol!). After a while I want to take my glasses off (this gets a thumbs-up from Heather to the midwife) and shortly after that I want to cover my eyes when I am dealing with a contraction, and need to really work on focus and breathing to manage the pain. Covering my eyes apparently gets a madly excited thumbs up from Heather, haha, it made me laugh when she was telling me afterwards, because I had no idea at the time! ;)

Pretty soon (maybe this was 2 or 3 hours in?) I needed to hold Heather's hand during contractions and was making more "in pain" sounds like I wasn't dealing so well with the pain. She kept me focused, reminded me of the Bible verses I had on the walls, etc. But very quiet and very little speech all the while. Transition gets me more vocal, starting to say things at last, like I can't manage much more of the pain and I don't want to do any more contractions, because I truly feel like I can't TAKE IT ANY MORE! ;) Peak of transition for me = anxiety, panic sometimes. I actually had to push this time (gasp, haha!) for a few minutes, and before that set in I was really quite petrified for a while. Heather reminded me that it's normal, it's due to hormonal changes, it means the 2nd stage is starting, etc, it's going to be okay. She gets more involved at this point, and is more physically there fore me, holding my hand, giving me sips of water, using a cool facecloth on my face between contractions (I'm always so HOT!). I really NEED her at this point onwards, but until then I have been okay sort of on my own, in my own head.

With Samuel, for the first time since Arthur I got myself ready to push! I got propped up in bed like I wanted to be, and bent my knees up ready. And then I waited for a contraction, and PANICKED! I was terrified to go through the next part, and I suddenly became tearful and high pitched and shook my head saying I didn't want to doooo it, and didn't they know that I CAN'T do it, I just caaaan't?!! Heather was so supportive and strong for me when I needed that. And of course a contraction came and I pushed. For the first time we decided that I would like to try to control the birth itself, to minimise the risk of tearing (I always have a 2nd degree tear and did not fancy the stitches again - hate that part so much!). So it was the first time since Arthur that I have had some sort of coaching from a midwife whilst pushing. It was exactly what I needed, which I didn't expect! It put the control back in the scary uncontrollable descent of the baby's head, for me. I pushed a little bit and then the midwife would say, "Stop pushing." and I would blow blow blow like a crazy woman, and then she would ask me to push a little bit again, and so on until the contraction stopped. I had no idea of the bonus it would carry - the pushing was never overwhelming, and the sensations weren't either. If they got a bit much, I was blowing like crazy at that point, and therefore in control. I never once had the urge (or air, lol!) to do my usual noisy wailing as the head came down. I can't tell you how relieved I was about that, and proud/pleased too! :) I really really dislike making all that noise and feeling so out of control.

Anyway, yay, pushing went fine, and his head was out in no time. The worst part BY FAR (and it will sound crazy but I promise I am not kidding!) was the cramp in the back of my thighs after the first couple of minutes. UN.BELIEVABLY PAINFUL, lol! I was giving birth with no pain relief, and practically screaming, "Aaaaaargh, my THIGHS!!! Help, help!" during contractions, hahaha! It was very hard cramp though, and in such big muscles, ow ow ow ow. The midwife was trying to massage my hamstrings best she could, bless her! ;) This time I need to be FITTER. Or find a sure way of fully supporting both legs if I want to give birth in that position again! Anyway, so his head came out, and there it sat while I waited for another contraction, and that was about the hardest part of the birth. His torso seemed much bigger to me than his head and the sensation of him sitting in there was actually completely unbearable. I believe I raised my voice somewhat and semi-yelled, "Get him out! GET HIM OUT!!!" lol! It was just sooooo beyond uncomfortable and I needed to be relieved of the sensation IMMEDIATELY, I can't explain it. They soothingly said, "He's coming, don't worry!" I can't remember now if I decided I was waiting no longer and pushed for all I was worth (hello 5th 2nd degree tear. *sigh*), or if a contraction finally arrived and helped me. But anyway, out he came, and OH the instant relief, and the delight seeing my tiny love lifted up over me to my very eagerly outstretched arms. I remember saying, "Oh he's so TINY!!" because he was! And Heather snorting over to the side there, which kind of brought me back to earth with a bump! I said, "Isn't he?!" because he seemed sooooo weeny. Heather is seasoned at seeing newborn babies lifted over their mummies' tummies, and knew he wasn't a little baby! I was pretty much speechless a while later when they weighed him in at 9lbs 9oz, haha! I seriously would have had anxiety about that if I'd have known before the birth! ;) He was born at 1.41pm, about 4.5 hours or so after they think labour started.

Anyway. Heather says she loves my births, and would never want to miss one! I'm so grateful that she's not letting me pay this time. What a blessing she is! :) Today she phoned out of the blue to say her daughter had been wanting to see us again, and could they come over this afternoon. I have been having a bit of a frazzled hormonal NIGHTMARE day with the boys today, and not managing too well with their behaviour and so on. Anyway, they came over just as I was pretty much about to sit in the corner and cry, and I was rattling around in the kitchen trying to clean up the lunch things too fast, etc, and Heather came and put the kettle on and asked how I was feeling. I just told her I felt a bit frazzled. The little ones were everywhere underfoot and making so much noise, and for a rare moment I honestly felt like bursting into tears, and just washed out tired with it all. I know it's hormones though! She suggested I go out somewhere, and they'd watch the boys, but I didn't want to. So she said I should go up to bed and rest! I faffed about not really deciding to do it, so in the end she told me she had made the decision for me and I was to go up to bed NOW, lol! She said she would come and get me if I was needed, or bring Samuel up if he cried. I expected he would cry pretty much as soon as I was out of sight, but he didn't. They kept him really well entertained with peekaboo games and toys and so on.

It felt so odd to be closing the door on the noise downstairs and just lie on my bed. I felt weird inside and tearful, you know that "I don't know who I am!!!" horrid hormonal feeling that comes over you at times? I don't like it, and prefer to be heavily distracted at times like that, but there I was just lying there with no distraction. I lay and rested for maybe 10 minutes, and then saw a prayer that Heather typed out for me and laminated during Benjamin's pregnancy - I put it on the side of my chest of drawers so I can see it from my bed, and have just left it there. So I read it out loud, and that was comforting. And then I prayed that God would be close to me. And after a minute a worship song popped in my head that I haven't sung for years. So I quietly started to sing it, and somewhere around the 3rd line, God absolutely flooded my heart with joy and love and praise, so much that I couldn't contain it! It brought me to tears and physically revitalised me like no rest can. It was AWESOME!! :D I needed to get my Bible after a bit because Psalm 103 came to mind and I wanted to read it. I spent the next 20 minutes praying and worshipping and reading my Bible and then I felt wonderful and like I wanted to go back downstairs.

Heather was reading stories to little ones, and said, "That was quick!" She wanted to know if I had got any sleep, and looked doubtful when I said no, but I told her I prayed and then God showed up, so I'd spent my time with Him! She said, "Fantastic!!" Totally all I needed - thank you Lord! They stayed until dinner time, several hours. It was so so so nice, and I feel so grateful for Heather and her family.

Well, this entry has turned LONG! I'm tired out and Samuel is stirring, so I should go to bed now. I am not sure what stuff I've missed saying.... Oh I am still morning sick, but this past week has been much milder than usual, so I do (finally!) think it's going. It's just queasiness most of the time, and I'm doing and eating everything normally. It's mainly just an annoyance in the background, which I can totally live with! But I'll be happy when it's all completely gone.

I am not really showing much at all, just a little bumpiness. I can't remember if I took a 14 week belly pic!! Suddenly thinking about it, I don't think I did! And I'm due another picture for 16 weeks, so I MUSTN'T forget to do that! I had so many gaps with photos during Samuel's pregnancy and it makes me sad to look back at his belly gallery and see how sparse it is compared with all the others :( So I definitely don't want to do that again. I really don't think I am showing much for 16 weeks, but I will see when I get a photo in the next few days (hopefully!). I am getting some heartburn now, and especially this weird and reeeeally horrible sort of reflux when I eat something cold like ice-cream, or a lot of ice cold water in one go. It's a cold PRESSURE low down in my throat, that doesn't go away, and it makes me feel like I'm being sick in the end, but that the action is "on pause" - yuck! I am being careful not to eat or drink too much cold stuff in one go. I grabbed a Rennie quickly when it happened the first time after ice-cream, and it helped a lot.

I can't think what else, and I need to go to bed! I will be back soon with a belly pic and that letter to my grandparents. And whatever news there is from the consultant appointment. Thank you for following along with me! I'm having a lovely time being pregnant again! :)

Samuel is here!!

Yay, the sweep worked! :D I had a rotten night's sleep due to various things, but was not actually having proper contractions that felt like the real thing until this morning around 6.30am. I felt sick, anxious and shaky all night and had horrible sharp IBS pain which stopped me getting comfy in bed, and which also kept me going to the loo all night. I just felt so rough with it and was anxious about the nausea, even though I knew it was all a good sign! I continued to lose the bloody show all night too. Benjamin cried for me until after 3am, and Neil and I just couldn't console him, even though I breastfed him whenever I could, so we didn't get any sleep until after 3am. He seemed so anxious and kept sobbing "I gaaare!" (I'm scared) and pointing randomly at everything like he didn't know what was scaring him. My heart just about broke for him because I knew that he KNEW something was going on - something big and incomprehensible - but he was too little to be able to make any sense of it and he was just so insecure and unhappy :( I remember Arthur being that way when I was in labour with Matthew.

Eventually he went to sleep on Neil's chest while Neil sat propped up in bed in the boys' room, and did sleep until 6.20am. For the first time he did not want milky on getting up. He just wanted to go downstairs, but he remained extremely sensitive all day right up until bedtime tonight, crying hysterically if Neil left the room, and wanting to be held a lot. I felt so sad for him, my poor little lovey!

After I woke up at around that time, my first thought was that nothing was happening AGAIN, because here I was waking up in the morning yet again and had not been woken up by contractions or anything. Within moments of sitting up in bed, however, I had a strong contraction - very different in tone from the ones in the evening and here and there through the night, and painful low down at the front and in mygroin, like period cramps only sharp. After 2 more in the next 10 minutes or so, I phoned Heather and when she said, "Hello?!" in an excited tone, I just said, "Would you mind coming over?"

I am wanting to write as much detail of my birth story as possible, as SOON as possible this time, so I guess this is the very start of it. But I am tired now from giving birth today, and Samuel is asleep on my chest as I recline in my bed (got to love giving birth at home!! :) ) so I'm typing with one hand looking sideways off the bed to my laptop screen, and can't keep that up for long. I'll try to add to the story as I go along when I get chance, and then eventually I'll compile it all into a proper birth story (and cut out paragraphs like this one!).

For now let me just give the announcement stats and things!

Samuel Robert was born at 1.41pm, in my bed with my much-prayed-for lovely midwife, Mandi there to deliver him (she also delivered Benjamin) - who knew she was on one of her 2 random days-a-week shifts today?! God did, that's who! :)

I'll have to check my notes to see how long my stages of labour were, but I was not yet in "established" labour when Mandi arrived at 9-something. I refused internal examinations so nobody ever checked me to see how far dilated I was at which times. Second stage and transition were horribly horrible beyond description with no pain relief, but I'm not sure of the lengths of time. Mandi tried helping me control the second stage better this time to avoid a tear, so it took longer. I had to give a little push, then blow 3 times, and repeat until the contraction ended. That was the hardest thing EVER and I lost it lots of times saying I couldn't do it. If I started to push then I couldn't stop without great throat-aching effort, and when I did the 3 blows the pain was overwhelming. BRILLIANT news was that I did not do any wailing or screaming as a result - I can't tell you how happy I was about that! :)

My waters broke a few minutes before he was born, while I was pushing his head down. No meconium in the waters this time, yay! :) He was lifted onto me screaming a raspy STRONG cry, and has been extremely vocal since! He especially hated being weighed, measured and checked over (and his Vit K injection!) a bit later - he has a pretty loud cry for a brand new fresh-from-the-womb baby! I did not let them take him to do those things until after his first breastfeed - he stayed skin-to-skin until then. I offered him the breast right away, as was my instinct since he was screaming even skin-to-skin and I guess I wanted to soothe him, but Heather said he wouldn't likely be interested in the first hour. After about 30 minutes though, he began pushing himself about on my chest with his little feet, and located my left breast quickly. I helped him latch on, and he nursed for about 40 minutes straight!!!! I had a surprise as well, for the first time with one of my babies, he was gulping and swallowing most of that time (at birth!!!) at a fast rate, as though my milk was in. Heather said that this time I must have more milk left from still breastfeeding Benjamin than I usually do. So that brand new baby boy got a good tummyful of breast milk (it is mostly colostrum though, all the same, but there just seems to be lots of it!). His tummy was making busy groany squelchy noises and he stopped now and then to let out a few HUGE burps, lol!

I did manage to get a 2nd degree tear anyway, and needed stitches, but it was apparently not as long a tear as previous ones, even though it was just as deep. Mandi did a great job with the stitches and, much as I absolutely HATE having stitches done there, I was waaaay calmer this time and it seemed less painful than other times. They have not bothered me one bit since, and I did take paracetamol for the afterpains before they were done, but right now those have been worn off for a good couple of hours and I am not in any pain. The afterpains are sore but very manageable this time (so far!).

Long story about the placenta but I had a managed 3rd stage with the injection given and cord cut a couple of minutes after Samuel was born. Mandi was careful and gentle helping the placenta out and we were all absolutely dumbstruck to discover a complete, smooth and untorn circular placenta with 100% intact membranes and no possible location on it where a lobe or its attaching membranes could possibly have ever been. I was anxious and suspicious about it, wondering if they'd just somehow missed it anyway (it was present at 2 scans after all!!) and I still hd it inside me. Mandi spent a good while sitting on the bed with me and showing me my placenta in detail, stretching out all the membranes carefully to show me that they were all intact and there was nowhere that any other vessels or membranes to an extra lobe could have been attached. She phoned the hospital to be sure and they said to bring the placenta in to have the doctors check it to confirm that there's nowhere a lobe could have been attached to it, so that's what she did when she left me. If it's really really true, then it's nothing short of miraculous. Amazing! I still feel vaguely suspicious, but all seems to check out fine. I did not have a lot of blood loss really in general, and my uterus is well contracted as it should be if it's not retaining anything. My lochia since then has been normal, but I'm keeping an eye on it, and for things like fever or feeling unwell, as the midwife explained to me.

Mandi booked me an appointment for a midwife (hopefully Kerry!) to come round tomorrow to do the first day postnatal check on us, and also for one of the GPs from our surgery to come out and do the newborn check on Samuel, since he was born at home and therefore didn't get one in the hospital. Heather stayed until 7pm - what a star! She asked if I wanted her to stay or go around 4.30pm and I asked if she would mind staying (she didn't mind at all) because Neil was so busy with all the boys that I felt like I would be on my own a bit if I needed anything, if she went home. She read stories to the boys and played Duplo with them, and sat with me while they ate, and brought me food and drink and so on. She helped me position myself in the bed various times to breastfeed. Tomorrow she's coming back late morning for a few hours, just to be with me and maybe read a couple of stories to the boys, but the nicest thing is that she has offered to wrap any of the boys Christmas presents that are not yet wrapped while she's here, so as to save us the stress of getting that done in the few days left before Christmas! She's WONDERFUL!!! :)

Oh I almost forgot - Samuel weighed in at NINE POUNDS AND NINE OUNCES!!!!!! What in the wide world!!! I thought it was a major deal for me when I produced an 8lb 11oz Benjamin, but 9lbs 9oz?!?! I am literally in disbelief over it. For hours I just sat in bed saying occasionally, "NINE pounds and NINE ounces?!?!" I just couldn't believe it, haha! I'm so petite in build and well, yikes. I did not ever imagine making a baby that big (or birthing one, lol!)! Mandi was so apologetic that I tore despite her coaching me gently to avoid tearing, but when she learned his weight she said it made her feel better about it, haha! ;) Samuel is also my longest baby by far (although they never measured Benjamin's length so I don't know what he was) - FIFTY NINE centimetres!!!! To compare, the usual average is 50-52cm, and Matthew at 41 weeks was FORTY nine centimetres - 10cm shorter than Samuel!! Yikers! I wish I knew what that was in inches but Samuel is squeaking and stirring (sooooooo cute) so I need to feed him and don't have time to google. He is so precious, and looks to me amazingly like Matthew did as a newborn (except his cheeks are so soft and chubby, lol!). He is a mix of all the boys, and looks like Samuel and nobody else (just like they all have!), but I think he is most like Matthew, which is a first since Matthew himself was born! :)

I will update soon! Thanks so much for the messages and comments - I appreciate you all routing for me soooo much! xxx