Uhhmmm, seems I have some news! ;)

So I am on CD11 today. You know, after the 6 day luteal phase last cycle (same as the cycle before). I am having an unusual period. I'm STILL bleeding, although it has been more like dark brown spotting these last couple of days. I have had more days of heavier red bleeding than I ever do (usually my periods are pretty light), but without much cramping at all, thankfully.

This week is the 2nd week of full-on homeschooling, and I am TIRED. Tired enough by the end of the week to dwell on it a bit. I am just BONE bone bone tired, not sleep-deprived tired, just physically utterly knackered from like 10 inches deep under diaphragm. I felt like that in the 2 days before my period arrived as well, and told Neil about it at the time, saying that I thought my period would show up (or that I was in early pregnancy) because it was not the sleep-dep type of tiredness, but the hormonal type that I know and love so well, lol! Well, that's STILL how I feel. I figured it was the loooong period plus homeschooling, plus naughtily having late late nights every night this week. Of course it could easily be that.

Yesterday I noticed a spot next to my nose, and another on my forehead. That really caught my attention because I NEVER get hormonal spots (and these were they) unless I am getting a period or am pregnant. They clear up right after I start my period, like in the next 24 hours or so. This is an absolute dead cert for me. So I wondered why I had those spots.

I have not temped since getting my period because my temp dropped so incredibly low the day I got my period (7dpo) - I mean, it dropped a couple of degrees C! Look, here's my chart as it was when my period started 11 days ago:



and then I started bleeding heavily, so I knew not to bother temping until nearer to ovulation. But this morning when I woke, the first thing I thought as I lay on my back was that I felt warm. Post-ovulation warm - I have become pretty tuned to it over the years. Sometimes I'm wrong, but.... I can't put my finger on it exactly, or describe it to you - I just have a slightly burny feel deep inside my throat and head and chest, that makes me think my core temp is the type of high that I only get when I have ovulated. So immediately I grabbed my thermometer which was next to the bed, and temped. I got 36.84!!! VERY much a post-ovulatory temp, and a high one at that! I wondered, completely stumped, whether perhaps I was unwell in some way and that's why I had a slightly higher temp than my body should be exhibiting given that I had not ovulated yet. I thought that also might account for how WIPED I felt despite waking from a night's sleep and having been blessed with a lie-in this Saturday morning!

I went down to Neil and we talked about it. He said he had a dream that I had a proper temperature (fever) the other night. He also said that maybe I had better be thinking of girl names. I said, "WHAAAAT?!" and he said he had prayed that if I get pregnant again, that it would be twin girls! Not that he wants girls and no more boys, but just that... I don't know why! I said, "But, but... that isn't possible! I am still finishing my period, and there's NO denying it's a period." I told him about it, and agreed it didn't seem likely that I could be pregnant. How I wished I had a test in my drawer to just confirm it for me, so that I could get on without such a crazy notion in the back of my mind, lol!

The more I thought about it, the more I wondered - oh, you know what I'm like, hehe! Even in the face of NO WAY IS IT POSSIBLE, NOT EVER, NUH-UH! it's still something I wonder about if the thought strikes me, lol! So I got to thinking about the spots, and the tiredness.... and the fact earlier in the week there were two nights running where Neil and I ate late after the boys, and we had lasagne and garlic bread one night, and fish and rice and veg the other night. BOTH meals I LOVE and can always finish, but both nights I could not. I just felt too full way before I could finish the plateful, even though I was hungry before the meal. I commented at the time to Neil, who said maybe it's because I've lost weight (?! not sure of this logic!) or something - it has been really coming off me lately, without doing anything towards it. This happens after the 8 month mark PP, when I am still breastfeeding, and it doesn't make a difference whether I change my diet or do any exercise. I don't lose it before 6 months, and can't keep it ON after 8 months, lol! Anyway, I am now at the 9 stone mark, lighter than I was before I got pregnant with Samuel AND Benjamin!

I tried frantically to think if there were any other signs, or what signs I NORMALLY get in early pregnancy but hadn't experienced in the last week or two, just to try and get a better picture of it in my mind. I know I get cramping and gassiness and eventually little ligament pains as an absolute rule with my pregnancies, in the two weeks or so after ovulation. If I was counting from ovulation, I would be 17 days past ovulation today. Well past testing time! I could not remember any ligament pains, although last night in bed when I did my gentle abs exercises, my lower back was sharp and painful when I did gentle pelvic tilts, which I hadn't had all the other nights before that. I thought I must have hurt my back somehow, which is still possible maybe. I wore Samuel in my back to the park in the Ergo twice over the last week, but it's the easiest way to carry weight on the back that I've ever found, so I didn't think I had strained myself in any way, even so.

I felt dizzy most of this morning, just swingy, but I put that down to the extreme exhaustion I was feeling. I HAVE felt crampy on and off, but will have taken absolutely NO notice of it whatsoever, since I'm bleeding and apparently having a period. I HAVE been gassy, but um, that isn't necessarily unusual *blush* ;)

Suddenly I remembered the "weirdly soft skin" confirmation that I always get, and gasped out to Neil, "Is my skin soft?!!!" he put his hands to my cheeks and said with an excited tone, "Maybe!!"

As soon as Samuel had woken from his nap and the boys had finished lunch, I left Neil watching them and went to rummage through all my drawers in the hope (ohhhh the HOPE!) of finding a leftover pregnancy test. And I DID!!! And it was in date! In fact I think there were two in the box, but I didn't notice too well because of my excitement at finding one and grabbing it and running to the bathroom, lol! ;)

I heard Neil start to change a nappy in the living room for someone, and grabbed a glass from a night-time drink which I tipped out and peed in right away. I had already been for a wee that morning but I knew that I would know for sure one way or another even without first morning urine, if I was really at 17DPO. In my head it seemed daft, I could see I was obviously having my period, and everything was in the usual place for that to have happened (appropriate DPO for my period to have shown up, big temp drop to coincide, heavy-but-normal period since, etc), but I felt indescribably excited. I put that down to association! ;)

I peed in the glass, and I dipped the stick and put it on the side of the bath. As the pink swept across the window, IMMEDIATELY a pink line showed up before the pink sweep even got to the control line area. I knew I had to wait until the pink sweep faded, but already I knew I was looking at a positive pregnancy test, and the weird thing is, I did not feel that surprised! I just felt too too joyful and happy and excited to even be able to describe to you! :D I waited. The window cleared. The control line showed up pink. The test line remained almost as pink as the control line! A STRONG BFP!!!!

I said, "Um, Neil?!" and he called up, "Yeah?" and then repeated himself in a more concerned tone. I came downstairs where he was changing Samuel's nappy on the floor with all the boys sitting around listening to a story tape from my childhood collection. I held the stick out from the stairs and said, "Can you see this from there?!" He said, "Two lines?!!" and I said, "Yes! I can't believe it!" and just laughed. He looked kind of shocked, hehe, but couldn't stop smiling :) I asked him if we should show the boys, who were so engrossed in the story that they hadn't stopped to hear what we were talking about. So I called their attention and showed them the stick. They know what those are! ;) I asked Arthur and Matthew how many lines they could see. Arthur peered at it and said, "TWO!!!! YAAAAAAAY!!" They immediately knew there was a baby growing in my tummy and were so happy and excited! They were full of questions, asking how long the baby had been growing in there, and what his (it's all they know, lol!) name was going to be, and so on.

The first thing we did once we could stop them jumping and yelling, was to get everybody to sit down on the sofa or the floor, and I told them that this baby is so unexpected, and that makes it an extra special gift from God. I told them we are going to stop and pray immediately to say thank you to God for such a precious gift to us, and they closed their eyes and I prayed. My voice was shaking as I was praying, just thanking God, and asking for a healthy pregnancy - I just suddenly felt overcome with how surreal it felt and what a shock it was to suddenly realise out of NOWHERE that I am pregnant! I mean, this has never happened before! I am always right on the ball, watching my chart, keeping track minute-by-minute (you know I'm not kidding ladies, lol!) of every possible sign or symptom as I wait for the chance to test, usually way too early! It's really really strange to me to have arrived at 17DPO with NOT A CLUE that I might be pregnant all this while! I knew there was a high chance of conception, but not much chance at all of my luteal phase sustaining it.

AH! I've just realised that I had BAD cramps in my luteal phase, remember from a couple of entries back?!!! Aha, how vindicated I feel, lol! I ONLY get those during my luteal phase when pregnant, and I ended my last "cycle" saying that it was a first for me, to have had bad cramps and still got my period. Inside I wondered if I had conceived, started implantation and then got my period, and THAT was why I had bad cramps, but I did not want to say that because it looks like I ALWAYS get my period saying, "Oh I am sure I was pregnant but just got my period anyway!" and that must get annoying to keep hearing! ;)

Anyway, after the excitement, I kept the test in my hand - I just didn't want to put it down. I still haven't stopped shaking, or praising God, or smiling, and I just keep saying out loud, "I just can't BELIEVE it!" and laughing! :)

Here's the test!



I'm trying to merge my two cycles together (this one and the last one where I conceived) at Fertility Friend so that I can make them into one whole cycle. Once FF has let me do that I will be able to see my due date, but I suspect Nicola has been right on the money predicting a May 2012 baby! ;)

Okay, FF has merged my charts (I had to manually correct ovulation as it had disappeared in the merge!) and I have a due date of May 23rd 2012!!! That's a 17 month gap again between babies, how lovely! Or maybe just a bit less - Samuel will only turn 17 months old 2 days before my due date. I love the month of May to have a baby - a spring baby! I haven't had a spring baby before! :D Yay yay yay!

So I must be 4 weeks and 3 days pregnant today, with my "week change" day being a Wednesday :) I can't believe it, I can't believe it, I can't BELIEVE it! I'm so so so so happy and joyful and thankful, and oh I just can't believe it! SIX children! I'm so blessed. Thank you Lord! :)

[edited to add - just remembered, as always please do not mention my pregnancy on Facebook if you know me there! I don't want friends and family to know yet, and will announce it in due course! Thanks! :) ]

Short luteal phase!

This morning my temperature dropped like a STONE, so I knew I would definitely be getting my period! I felt soooo nauseous last night, ugh, and dizzy/headachy. This morning when I woke up I started to feel nauseous literally the moment I opened my eyes, and then when I temped I was quite nervous about the day ahead, mid-way through the first full week of properly homeschooling this term! :S

I have continued to feel dizzy and kind of delicate through the day, and because I knew my period would show up, I determined to take the day by the horns and try to get all the important stuff done as early as possible so as to have breathing room if I felt hideous later in the day. So proud of myself because everyone was dressed and fed by 8am, and we had finished all of school by lunchtime! :) I had time to bake brownies with Matthew, and make dinner on time for the boys. They were dressed for bed with teeth cleaned when Neil arrived home from work, and STILL my period had not arrived.

By that time I was feeling queasy again, which quickly progressed to really yucky nausea once the boys were in bed, and I couldn't eat any dinner. I just feel exhausted, physically, to my absolute BONE today. So very different to any level of overtiredness, this hormonal tiredness. I couldn't remember if that was normal for me before a period, and since it was so extreme I wondered if there was still a chance it could be maaayyyybe pregnancy related?

Anyway, eventually this evening I took a left-over anti-sickness pill that I was prescribed when I had my kidney stone, and felt better enough for some cereal an hour or so later. Right after which, my period turned up! :) So, another cycle begins, and I'm quite surprised at the bad cramping I've had - that's the first time I've ever had bad cramps that went away again in my luteal phase, outside of being pregnant. It does lead me to wonder that I probably conceived, but I guess there's no point thinking about that. I'm also surprised that my luteal phase is STILL only 6 days long - same as last cycle.

Still, God's timing, God's timing... and I'm happy when I think of it like that! Perfectly happy! :) Thanks for the sweet comments last entry! So nice to have people cheering me on, hehe! I will be back in a few weeks! :)

6DPO

My temp did go up again this morning after yesterday's dip. I was dreaming that I was trying to figure out which thermometer to use to temp with, when Neil woke me this morning, haha! ;)

I have had about 30 mins of bad cramps for a burst this morning, and then again just after lunch time, but nothing else. Over the rest of that time, I had no cramping whatsoever.

However! It's evening now, and I am now feeling like I am going to get my period sometime soon. I feel very very tired, and mildly crampy (not the bad cramps that I had earlier in the day and yesterday - they were worse yesterday than today actually). Right around 6.30pm I SUDDENLY out of the blue became really irritable and impatient, and after about 10 minutes of being unnecessarily snappy with my children, I started to ask myself what on earth was going on! It does seem rather PMS-like to me. Then I came down from putting little ones to bed and started to read Arthur a story, and realised I was getting a headache. Within a few minutes I had to stop reading to go and take some painkillers, just because it was a weird sort of heavy headache that did not feel nice at all. It's still here anyway, which is something I remember from the 24 or so hours before a period starts sometimes. I can't remember if the pre-period headaches have a specific feel, or if this is it, but anyway. It's not an "it's been a long day" headache, so I think it's probably hormonal, and thus indicative of my period on its way. I feel pretty nauseous this evening as well - maybe headache-related? I don't know. And I felt a bit dizzy around the boys' bedtime.

Those are the only things of note! Oh and I did feel weepy over a couple of different story books for really little ones that I was reading to Nathan and Benjamin this afternoon. DEFINITELY hormones, that one! ;)

So if my temperature drops in the morning then maybe I will get my period the same day? I do know that my pre-period headaches tended to last quite a while - at least 8 hours and painkillers don't work whatsoever. I often wake up with them still there if they only just start before bed, which I do not relish with the day ahead of me! It's our first week of really knuckling down again with school ("back" to school, though we haven't really stopped over the summer, just did a bit here and a bit there depending on organisation and so on) and a dizzying, painful period would throw a spanner in the works a bit! Hopefully it will be perfectly manageable! I think my last period was, but then I was on strong painkillers around the clock for my kidney stone, so who knows! ;) If I do get my period tomorrow then my luteal phase will not have lengthened at all from last time, which is a bit unusual for me at this stage postpartum. By now, my luteal phase is usually lengthening by a day or two days every cycle - each cycle always has a luteal phase longer than the previous one, and at 8 months PP I am never still on a luteal phase as short as just 6 days... But timing isn't important - except for God's! :)

I will update tomorrow!

5DPO

Bonjour again, Blogger! :) So, me rambling about my luteal phase, far too late at night - familiar times?! ;)

Well, I'm 5DPO today. This morning my temp dipped quite a bit, and looking at last cycle the same exact thing happened at 5DPO, followed by a MUCH bigger dip the next day at 6DPO, and then my period the day after. My chart looks very much like last cycle's chart as far as temps go! I will wait and see about tomorrow's. I do sort of hope my LP will be longer this time - I like getting back to normal.

I am totally NOT looking out for pregnancy symptoms, because I am fully expecting a short luteal phase. I want to make note of some stuff about today though, for future reference. I had some mild crampiness this morning, sort of like I might in the run up to ovulating or getting my period maybe. At around 3 or 3.30pm, I started to feel much more crampy. It seemed to come on over maybe a 5 minute period, that's all. At the time I was in the kitchen getting snacks and I remember wondering if the distracting crampiness meant that I should chart mild cramps or bad cramps. I was VERY hesitant to call them bad cramps because historically I have only ever had bad cramps when I have been pregnant during my luteal phase, but that does include chemical pregnancies too. I don't want to go out there yelling, "BAD CRAMPS, WOOHOO!!!" every time I'm X-DPO and Neil and I have so much as looked at each other in the run-up to ovulation! ;) But, me and bad cramps in the luteal phase.... they have only happened so far due to pregnancy. So I was hesitant, and also not even sure they were bad enough.

I got the snacks and went into the living room. The crampiness continued just steady, and it wasn't that bad, just distracting. After they ate snacks, we set about building a massive Duplo house (to go with our Letter H activity today) with alllll the Duplo bricks the boys have. It took us over an hour, while Samuel was napping! So much fun! :) About half an hour into that time, I was in absolutely no doubt whatsoever that I was having BAD cramps. It felt like my period had started, and I was beginning to feel queasy with it too. The crampiness stayed exactly the same for the next few hours, until maybe 8pm-ish. During that time I was nauseous most of the time, but it was like when I have period cramps sometimes, I feel queasy with them. The cramps didn't come in waves, they just felt vice-like and hot. I also felt crampy through the small of my back on my right side.

After 8pm-ish I realised I had ZERO crampiness - after putting the boys to bed, I think... I can't remember exactly when it must have eased off, but it was gone! :) I also didn't feel yucky any more in my tummy, just hungry for dinner. I had been really bloated before so maybe it made me feel queasy? Sometimes that happens. Anyway, all evening I have had no cramps, not even if I think about it REALLY hard, lol! Until about 15 minutes ago (just after midnight - I know I'm naughty staying up so late!), when the bad (definitely bad) cramps started up again. I feel queasy with them again, but not too bad. I am just going to go to bed now, but I wanted to post about the cramps.

Nothing else of note though, I don't think... I have been kind of sensitive to noise again today, for whatever reason, but it has been okay. I have the odd spot that I only ever get with hormones (usually pre-period, but once or twice in early pregnancy - these are just plain HORMONES though, whichever way!). I will see what my temp is tomorrow. If it's down then I suppose I will get my period with a similar length luteal phase to last cycle, and set a new thing with bad cramps in the run-up to a period. I will update tomorrow! :)

Quick 4DPO note...

Just to update and say that NOW I have ovulated! Of course FF has changed their completely wrong date to an appropriate one, and I'm now 4 days past ovulation. I didn't ovulate this cycle until Cycle Day FORTY!!! Yikers!

My last cycle had a luteal phase of 6 days, so I would maybe expect to improve that by a couple of days at best this cycle? I can't remember how quickly it lengthened after previous babies, and should just go and check my charts, but it's late and I must go to bed! We have a very good chance of conception this cycle (parsnips 2 days before ovulation), and I tend to presume that conception has occurred (as in, sperm meets egg) if there's a good chance, going by our history. The only thing is that it's unlikely that my body is ready to sustain it because of my short luteal phase, as usual when my cycles are returning to normal.

Right now my temps are climbing nicely. I am unusually tired and weepy over things like noise from the kiddies, but that doesn't mean much. Nothing else of note, and I am just waiting to see how long my luteal phase will be this time. I so HOPE it would be long enough to sustain what might have begun, but I know it's very unlikely! Ah well! It's good to have more time, and I know God's timing is perfect anyway!

That is all for now! Wow, a GENUINELY quick post (gasp!)! ;) I will be back soon though!

No, I haven't ovulated!

So, Fertility Friend says I have ovulated four days ago, but it knows nothing! ;) I'm currently on Cycle Day FORTY or something near that mark! Crazy late for me, except not this time PP somehow. Hope that's not ominous (eg. early menopause or anything like that! :S )! I am still ovulating, just late, and then my LP is still really short.



I *think* I am ovulating today, but time will tell. I have had EWCM for a good few days, and today I have what my dim memory recalls as ovulation pain - BUT I might be wrong, so I will just have to wait and see. I am temping now so I can tell for sure, and my temps are still low right now.



Now I am really starting to get the anticipated baby fever! ;) Funny how it's not seriously there at 6 or 7 months PP, but always always kicks in somewhere after the 8 month mark! I have the sweetest, most darling little baby on my lap (albeit fidgetty and slightly cranky due to both naps being ended early by NOISY brothers who were busy not obeying Mummy!), who I would LOVE to bless with a baby brother or sister. Oh how I would love to see him become a big brother!! :)



The feeling of one missing is getting stronger and stronger all the time. Neil seems fine about one more, if a little, "Are we CRAZY?!?!" at times! ;) I know God may say no. I am doing a lot of praying about it right now. Like I said last entry, more time would be easier, but the other day I was thinking and praying about it... There's just no way that I want to turn down the potential for more children even for a short time, when I have so few years left before this season will be over. It will come in the blink of an eye, I know it. I KNOW that if God is pleased to bless us again with a baby sooner than later, He absolutely will enable me, even if things are hard for a while. I am never going to look back at the end of my life and wish that I had had fewer children because we had "too many" in a small house, or not enough money to be at ease financially, or because I felt overwhelmed and exhausted most days for a year or two. Those things are just piffle in the grand scheme of things - BIG at the time, yes, but when I have my perspective in order many years later, and can look back, the trials over it will see trifling and the children we have around us as a result (and their relationships with each other) will be utterly utterly, can't-even-describe-how-much worth it. So bring it on, please Lord! :) I love love love having a large family, as mine is now becoming! It's a treasure more than anything I could imagine when I only had a couple of kiddies. I'm so blessed, and excited about the possibility of more little blessings!

CD30 - thoughts and kidney stones...

Sooo, my urine infection that I wrote about last entry was not a urine infection after all. Turned out to be a kidney stone, and the three weeks that followed my entry was pretty dreadful. MUCH more bleeding, and finally excruciating pain and an ambulance trip to the hospital, where I stayed overnight to get my pain under control following diagnosis of a kidney stone with an X-ray. I sort of existed for two weeks as they did nothing about it, just sent me home with the strongest painkillers I could take whilst breastfeeding (it would take something far worse than a kidney stone to stop me breastfeeding!), and Neil had to use up two weeks of holiday time to look after the boys for me. Finally had the stone blasted with shock waves (lithotripsy) and it worked, hooray! It took me a week or so to recover physically all the same, and I am not convinced about my kidney (which was in a bad way, being completely blocked by the stone and swollen up hugely with urine) even now, as I am still having mild pain there...



ANYWAY! So glad to be past that! My temperature dropped the morning before I went into hospital (at 5DPO - still very short luteal phase), so I expected to get my period that day, but I didn't, and I still didn't the day I went into hospital either! I was so glad, because I really didn't need the complication of my period starting while I was unable to move at all due to pain in A&E for 5 hours! The next morning on the ward, the nurses changed my sheets and sent me to get washed in the adjoining bathroom (oh I was so nervous to move!), and THAT'S where I discovered my period had started. Good thing there were no beds on the urology ward, so I had been put on the gynae ward, lol! Plenty of sanitary wear there for someone who only remembered to take what she was wearing into the ambulance with her! ;)



Since then, I have paid the LEAST attention to my cycle that I've EVER paid to any of my cycles, hehe! I just have had no idea where I'm at in terms of Cycle Day, have completely ignored my CM, and have not even thought about temping. All I know is the date of my LMP because they kept asking me for it before I had X-rays to check on the kidney stone over the weeks. Recently I started to wonder where my period might be, and for that matter ovulation! It was beginning to feel like a while since I had had my period. So I went to my chart, updated my last cycle and started charting the last few days - I have no idea about earlier in this cycle, except that I think I had EWCM for a few days around CD14 (two weeks after my period started I think I was aware of that, and thought it was a bit early for me to ovulate yet or something), so I charted that to be aware of it. Haven't really noticed anything much since, so I presumed I haven't ovulated yet. When I checked my chart I found that I'm on Cycle Day THIRTY already!!! Wow, late ovulation! UNLESS I already did ovulate when I wasn't paying attention, and now I'm waiting for my period to start. I was so moody yesterday, enough for it to possibly be PMS... Anyway, I will have to wait and see. The only thing of note today is that I don't think I actually HAVE ovulated yet because I temped at last and got 35.6 (really low, and typical for a pre-ovulatory temp for me), and also I have had EWCM today! Maybe I'll actually ovulate in a few days? Who knows! My cycles are pretty wacky since Samuel, even though they started back earlier than ever. This time "last baby" (!), my cycles had been settling down for some months, and I had had a couple of chemical pregnancies (possibly three?) already, in a row. Samuel is 8 months old today. Benjamin was 8 months old when Samuel was conceived!



My body is NOT in the same place as it was last time, yet! ;) My ovulation is late every cycle, and my luteal phase is still really short. So I will wait and see how it goes.



I am juuuust beginning to get that feeling in my ovaries, lol! ;) That one where I feel hopeful and wistful about maybe getting pregnant again. Before 8 or 9 months, I want to have more babies, but the idea of doing so RIGHT NOW is kind of scary! I'm transitioning into the next stage! :) The other odd thing is that for the last couple of weeks I keep thinking a child is missing all the time. Not the "I knew that we were missing a child in our family..." thing that people say. I mean literally! I get Samuel down from a nap, and they're all playing on the living room floor and then I suddenly have a moment where I leap up panicking because, "Where's the baby?!" Not Samuel - I know he's there. I glance at the video monitor to the room he sleeps in and he's not there, so although I SEE him on the floor, something in me has a moment of, "Where's the baby?!!" Maybe it's because he's growing up - he started pulling to kneeling and then standing this week, and attempted to cruise at the bookshelf this morning. He's eating everything we eat, rocking on hands and knees, and army crawling everywhere at speed. He has no teeth, a head full of sweet blonde hair, and personality emerging left, right and centre. I LOVE HIM!!!



I sometimes do a quick mental count of the boys as they're rushing around in the house, and I get that, "Where's the other one?!!" feeling clutching at my throat again, even though I counted five, and I KNOW I have five children, not six. And you know when you mentally plan things out in a spare moment while you're doing some other task? Well I will be thinking something like, "If I use workboxes for the boys and colour-code them, I could start with red, orange, yellow and green because only four of them will be needing workboxes right now... Once all six of them are old enough, I can add blue and purple..." Spot the mistake! ;) I never do until the complete thought or phrase is out there, and then I think - SIX?! Where did that come from?!! ;)



This is all the stuff that happened when I had two, just Matthew and Arthur, and Matthew was about 7 or 8 months old. I kept referring to the boys as "all three of them" when thinking ahead to future events, or wondering where the baby was when I could see the two of them starting to play together more. I don't think it's a stage of development coincidence, because Matthew was crawling, cruising, etc, far earlier than Samuel. Anyway, I am filled with gladness at the possibility that it might mean that another child is meant for us! Neil had the same feelings as I do with the others (missing child, counting up and still feeling like one's missing, etc), and I haven't thought to ask him whether he's feeling the same again yet.



I just need a little more time to get my body in better condition - I need to start exercising regularly, and haven't been able to due to being set back with illness every few weeks since April (aaaaargh!!!) - no viruses for a good while now, but dang that kidney stone!!! ;) Also I need a little more time to establish homeschooling well this year, and iron out the creases (to make a HUGE understatement, lol!) of having two toddlers/pre-schoolers and a baby AS WELL as two children of school age who need to be doing proper homeschooling now. I'm trying to figure out a schedule for our days as well, and I need time to implement it all. So much so that I have actually prayed that God would allow us a little more time before blessing us with another baby. I WANT Him to! But just a LITTLE more time, that's all. If I get pregnant this cycle, I will rejoice so very very much! :) There's no "worse" option for me at all. A little more time would be a little more space to breathe, that's all. And I don't NEED that. So very glad to turn it all over to God and trust Him entirely! God is good, all the time! :D



Well, I'll try to update briefly (ha!) now and then to keep track of my cycles, especially since the months are passing by now and I'm getting near to the time when all my other babies were conceived (Matthew - 10 months postpartum after Arthur; Nathan - 11 months PP; Benjamin - 9 months PP; Samuel - 8 months PP). I am not even sure what my last luteal phase length was exactly (6 days??) or whether it should even be counted as that long, given that my temp had dropped down for the last two days of that time. Definitely not long enough to support a pregnancy even if conception was to occur. This cycle, who knows? Maybe another 6 day luteal phase? Maybe 7 or 8? Still not long enough, but I will keep track and keep this journal updated about it as I go along.



Thanks for reading, if you are! It's nice to have folks still follow along with my less-than-sane ramblings over my bodily functions, haha! ;) Back soon!