Aaaaargh, 19 weeks already (and one day!), and I am really struggling to find time to update properly, as often as I would like! Right now I'm grabbing a chance because I've remembered to (rare), in the middle of the day while the boys are playing in the living room and dinner is in the oven. This is NOT a good time because I'll have a matter of minutes before I have to attend to something or other, which -
Ha! Had to go and sort Samuel out over something already! ;) This will continue every few minutes or even many times in the same minute, until Elijah wakes from his nap and that's the end of my time to update here. But, if I don't start, I'll NEVER get an update written, and I don't like the 3 week gap that's already there!
Okay, quickly!
My scan is NEXT WEEEEEEEEEK!!!! I'm getting so excited about it, and the usual slightly nervous paranoia that something might be wrong with my little one - it's always such a relief to have the scan and everything checks out okay in the end. I hope it will be the same way this time. Neil and I will both be able to go together (yay!) because Heather is kindly going to watch all 6 boys at home for us! We might take Elijah if he's upset at the idea of us going off without him, but Heather's happy (and very competent) to have all six. I also love the fact that she'll be the first person we will have contact with after the scan so she gets to hear first whether it's a boy or a girl! :) She was the first person last time, even before Neil, because she was with me for the 17 week scan I had for Elijah's little size (in case there was a cause for concern) and we unexpectedly saw his boy bits! ;)
Arthur was asking me last week whether I thought we'd see a boy or a girl at the scan, and I had to tell him I honestly do not know. I mean, he pressed me for details on hunches, or clues I've had, etc. but although my gut says girl, I know my gut instinct has been wrong before more than once, lol! So I'm not allowing that to sway me - it's probably a boy in any case! I genuinely can't wrap my mind around the concept of seeing anything other than the familiar boy bits as they sort of "morph" into view during the scan. I feel strongly enough about that to override the gut instinct that says girl, and say that's a really good indication that it's a boy. So contradictory! I think I wouldn't be feeling so conflicted about it if I had had boys and girls so far already, but I can't imagine a totally new experience, being THIS experienced at pregnancy, scans, new babies, etc. It seems so surreal as to be impossible. So, with all that together, my overall feeling about the scan is that for once I completely and utterly do not know what to expect to see. I am 100% neutral in my expectations, because I can't lean one way or the other based on anything I've got to go by so far, and that is LOVELY! :) Usually we've had a nub shot at the 12 week scan that definitely indicates a boy, or else God has told me in advance that it will be a boy. This is the first pregnancy since Nathan's where I totally have no idea, and it's nice. I think it must be lovely to have no idea at ALL at the birth - having not found out at all beforehand, but if I'd had girls as well as boys, I wouldn't mind trying that. Because we still haven't had a girl, I NEEEEED to know in advance if we're expecting one, hehe! ;) If we happen to (somehow!) have a girl this time, and I am blessed with another baby, I think it would be nice to not find out, because we'll be prepared for both in any case.
Well, whoever he or she is, this little one is kicking around quite a lot these days. The kicks are still such little pops! I can feel them with my hand, but Neil hasn't been able to yet - they are such little tiny blips and because I can feel them inside, I am able to place my hand where I know they'll be for an easier chance to feel them against my hand.
Last week I had a tummy bug. A real live vomiting bug! I haven't thrown up since I was 18 (that's 19 years ago!!) and I have been phobic about vomiting since I was two years old. It has probably been the major hurdle of my entire life, affecting my life a lot, especially in my late teens and adulthood. We went to the church Fun Day on the Saturday morning and by Sunday evening I had awful diarrhoea and started vomiting somewhere before midnight. Ugggghhhhh. So horrible! If I ever catch tummy bugs, I only ever get diarrhoea, even when everyone else in the family is throwing up repeatedly. I have always just been blessed that way (thankfully!), but this time it wasn't the case. Heather thinks it's because I'm pregnant and my immune system is at a low right now as a result. Bleurgh. Anyway, the diarrhoea continued for 24 hours but I only threw up a couple of times in the night. I DID NOT DIE!!!! I have always been terrified I would die - I know it's irrational, but that's a phobia for you. I didn't panic overly either, and I'm so proud of myself. I consider my phobia OVER with now! :D I still hate it to bits, and it scares me, but I can't say I'm phobic any more after the way I handled it! :)
Anyway, poor Elijah and Samuel caught it from me, even though I was in bed all the time, kept my hands washed, and only saw them to breastfeed for the first 48 hours. :( It has taken me a full week to recover - it really knocked me for six! I couldn't eat for a couple of days, but I could take dioralyte and diluted lemonade, so that was something. I got really dehydrated and passed some mucus plug sort of stuff, and was crampy the day after I was sick, but it all settled down quickly. I just hope I have not started work on another kidney stone as a result. The last kidney stone I had came as a result of some bad dehydration with a stomach bug, plus summer weather, plus breastfeeding. I've tried to combat it with lemonade (real lemons, proper citric acid!) and drinking plenty since I've been able to tolerate it. Hoping for the best!
Elijah and Samuel threw up all evening (10 and 9 times, respectively) last Tuesday, and were such poor little scraps, especially tiny 'Lijah, that I felt dreadful for them! I was well enough just about, to look after them and hold them while they were puking. They started at exactly the same moment (simultaneous vomiting on two different beds!), and stopped within 5 minutes of each other, 5 hours later, and both fell into a heavy sleep for the rest of the night. Funny how exact it was for them. They nearly always threw up at the same time as each other through the evening. Neil and I moved Elijah in with Samuel on the bed next to him for the duration, and sat with them the whole time, and they slept between bouts, thankfully, and shared baths when it became necessary. After they'd finished, we moved 'Lijah back into my bed for the rest of the night. Amazingly, the four older boys and Neil never caught it! We couldn't possibly keep the little boys isolated for all the days they would be infectious afterwards, so we didn't try. I was for sure expecting 4 vomiting children a couple of nights later, but thankfully (oh so thankfully!) no! :) A lot of prayer went into it as well. I was on my knees at their bedsides that night after they had gone to sleep for a good while! Thank you Lord! :)
We now all have colds, but I'm relieved that I'm just soldiering through with mine and not flaking out exhausted, coldy and pregnant. I wondered how I'd fare since I wasn't quite over the tummy bug when the cold started, but I'm okay, just feeling a bit crummy! Neil went back to work this week - he took ALL of last week off as holiday time (he had no choice on the holiday, unfortunately) because I was really not well enough to get up most of that week, let alone look after 6 littles. I'm so thankful for that too! So far this week I have been doing laundry like crazy. Neil kept it going last week, but yesterday and today I have done 9 loads and there are still probably 3 or 4 to go in the laundry boxes, plus Matthew wet the bed last night so his bedding needs washing too.
Busy busy! :) But happy happy! Love my hard job! :)
I have failed to get a belly pic for way too long! :( I missed 16 weeks and just though, ah well, I'm nearly 18 weeks, I'll get one for then. But then I was sick and now I'm 19 weeks - the time is just flying by! A week from now I'll be halfway through my pregnancy and into the 20s!!! Wow. I don't think I'm showing that much, for me. I was showing much more before I was sick, haha! After I threw up and didn't eat for a couple of days, I could hardly see a bump when I stood up at all! I lost a stone (14lbs), but I'm sure it's all back on now. Last I checked (days ago) I was 9st 10lbs, which was up 7lbs from where I went down to after my tummy bug.
One thing I've noticed since recovering from the bug is that I seem to have been left with morning sickness again, and irritable bowel syndrome (which I always have to some degree, but it's flaring up quite a bit at the moment). Boo! I thought the nausea from the bug was lingering, and it was somewhat, but I'm now noticing foods leave a bitter taste, I can't bite my nails, etc. again, so I think it's back. It's not awful, just a nuisance, and I don't feel well in my stomach all the time. Choosing and eating food is difficult, but it's perfectly bearable other than that, so it could be worse. Hopefully it won't hang around too many more weeks. It was 24 weeks before it totally cleared up with Elijah (my longest stretch!).
Talking of Elijah, he is still napping and I must wake him up or else he won't sleep at bedtime! Samuel appears to have fallen asleep on the living room floor, so I'd better wake him too! ;)
Back soon I hope!
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Saturday, May 11, 2013
16 weeks, 4 days pregnant
I really have to get a belly picture for 16 weeks! I am really showing now, and total strangers are asking me if I'm hoping for a girl this time (*sigh* Isn't that a predictable comment?!) without looking at me for a while first or asking if I'm expecting a baby. It must be obvious! Yay! :) Heather says I really look pregnant now, and not just "is she/isn't she pregnant?" which is lovely to hear! :)
I am finally unable to wear normal jeans and trousers (except for baggy, drawstring types, which I can still feel comfortable in). I have found a box of my maternity clothes STILL not put away in the loft yet from last time, hahaha! ;) So that has made it easy to dig in and start wearing some maternity items earlier than I usually get Neil to bring them down from the loft! :)
I pretty much live in a pair of maternity jeans that are "under bump" style with adjustable elastic at the sides. They are reeeeeeally comfy, and I remember them being a poor fit or uncomfortable for my last two pregnancies (I only got them during Samuel's pregnancy), probably because I was trying to wear them really late in my pregnancies. They are great for an "early bump"! :)
My little baby is moving and kicking quite a lot, and the kicks are still tiny fluttery taps. I love that I can feel them so clearly. I am increasingly trying to see if I can feel the movements with my hand through my tummy now, because I'm sure I will be able to any time now! I stop whatever I'm doing (in the evening, obviously - can't do that in the day!) when I feel the baby do a few little pops against my tummy, and practically hold my breath as I gently press my hand flat on my tummy in the place I felt the kicks, and wait. So far, either the kicks stop, or they move to the other side, hehe! Or there's a sort of wiggle movement instead and I can't feel that against my hand yet. But soon! I can't wait! :)
I had my 16-week midwife appointment, at 15 weeks and 3 days, for some reason! I can't remember why it was arranged during week 15 but oh well. I went to the clinic for that appointment, and it turned out that neither Neil or Heather could cover me with the kiddies, so I had to take all 6 of them with me. That was interesting. They were sooo well behaved getting in there, and waiting in the waiting area. I got a LOT of comments - "Are they all yours?!", "ALL BOYS?!?!", "Do you know what you're having this time?!", etc. I didn't have a urine sample with me as I didn't have a sample container at home, and it was completely impossible for me to do one at the clinic with all the boys with me, so they said to be sure to bring one next time (which is AGES - 28 weeks or something crazy! Pretty pointless to say that when I'm still only 15 weeks pregnant!). I forgot to take a sample pot with me at the end, but I am NOT taking my children with me to any further appointments. I would seriously rather reschedule or MISS one, it was such hard work! :(
They didn't behave so great after the first few minutes of the appointment and it went downhill from there. Leaving was a NIGHTMARE. They scattered and wouldn't come when called, went into various places in the clinic that they shouldn't have, etc. I was carrying Elijah in my arms so couldn't round them up so easily as usual. They didn't respond to the various bribes and threats (!) that usually work, and it was really really REALLY embarrassing, as nobody seemed to have anything better to do than watch this "crazy" mother of "too many children" completely fail to control them or get them to obey her. Urrrggghhhh. If I took one to the waiting area and went back to get another, there were still 3 to round up, and child #1 may or may not have run off by the time I got back with child #2. They were equally badly behaved in the car park outside - in the car park, people! :/ It's REALLY hard having children (especially the eldest children, when there are lots of little ones under them as well) on the autistic spectrum. They get overwhelmed and overstimulated by unfamiliar situations very easily and then their behaviour gets out of hand fast and I still haven't figured out how to manage or diffuse things in those situations yet. Arthur's report is being written right now, which will confirm that he has Asperger's Syndrome (Autistic Spectrum Disorder). Matthew is still waiting for his assessment appointment right now, but he is harder work than Arthur out and about, because he has (in my opinion) sensory processing issues and ADHD type issues, alongside the autistic-type issues. He has no concept of danger, and his behaviour can get out of control really fast when he's overstimulated, and he gets overstimulated verrrrry easily. I have not figured out how to manage or diffuse things in that kind of situation yet. It's really hard! Anyway, NEVER AGAIN, lol!
Apart from the boys' behaviour and resulting embarrassment and stress, the appointment went okay. My blood pressure was 100/60, my usual low pressure which surprised me considering that all the boys were around me and I was even correcting a couple of them in different directions while my blood pressure was being taken, haha! ;)
The midwife was the same one who came when I was in labour with Benjamin, but who (thankfully) had to finish her shift an hour or so before he was born. I am not crazy about her, although it's nice to see a familiar midwife again, any time I do see her. She doesn't seem awfully sensitive or knowledgeable (flexible knowledge, that is - if that makes sense. She seems to have just learned a bunch of rules and quotes them, rather than considering new research, for example. *sigh*). And she errs on the negative side. She asked me if I had a consultant appointment booked, and I said no, and told her I had declined one. She looked surprised/concerned, but I could tell it wasn't genuine, and anyway it would have been in my notes! That's the reason I was seeing her that day instead of the consultant at 16 weeks! I'm not that daft. So, the look was basically a request for explanation, and I told her that I had done the consultant appointments the last two times and already knew what would be covered, and already knew what my choices were. She didn't need to (of course) but it seemed like she couldn't help saying (in sympathetic tones, as though that made it better), "You know about the risk of bleeding, yeah?" I just dismissed it with a wave of my hand and a quick, "Yeah." There ISN'T an increased risk of bleeding just because I have had more babies - Heather has thoroughly explored that with a lot of research, and I personally witnessed her ask high-ranking midwives and obstetric consultants if they could back up their opinion on that with research, and they couldn't. Because there isn't any. They all admitted it was something they were taught during training (and that was their way of justifying it's truth!). Anyway, I couldn't be bothered to hash that out with this particular midwife so I just brushed it aside, and I think she got the picture.
I told her I already knew all my risk factors, and would be choosing a homebirth. I said I would, as always, be open to other ideas if any new risk factors came about during my pregnancy, but that was that - end of discussion. I am getting more assertive with each pregnancy, over my rights, and I like that, because I'm not naturally very good at being assertive. In such situations (pregnancy, my children's health, etc.) it's really important! So I'm glad to be improving in that area! I know that I 100% have Heather to thank for it, and I'm so grateful to her! :)
The midwife said it was a bit early to find baby's heartbeat at 15 weeks, but (negative tone) if I would like her to try she could give it a go. I said I had been listening on my home doppler for many weeks! ;) So she was more enthusiastic about listening in, but didn't find it for aaaages. I knew she was looking in COMPLETELY the wrong place, but didn't feel comfortable about pointing that out, so I waited. She was looking way too low. She kept saying that sometimes a drink of water makes the bladder fill and the uterus move up, making it easier to hear the heartbeat this early. *sigh* For a start she was looking really low down, squashing the top of my uterus down with her hand, which was MANY inches above where she was using the doppler! Big space full of baby which she didn't apparently think to look in! I went along with it and drank the cup of water she gave me, and she literally had me lie down to "try again" seconds after I downed it, which - what?! How has my bladder had time to fill with the cup of water and shift my womb up by then?! She used the doppler higher up (of course, due to the cup of water) and surprise, surprise, found the baby's heartbeat much higher very quickly. I felt so irritable and like rolling my eyes (I didn't, don't worry) when she said, "See! The water did the trick!" Urgh. I suddenly remembered the annoying issue of finding Benjamin's heartbeat during my labour with him, and how she and the student had a hard time finding it EVERY time they checked and casually would make all sorts of passive-but-negative comments about my position or the baby's to justify their difficulty. Heather was so irritated by it, and even made mention of it in the birth notes she wrote, pointing out that they weren't looking in the right place, and that when Mandi (the midwife who delivered him) came, she always found the heartbeat immediately every time she checked him! :)
Anyway, so that was annoying. Also she asked me (pen poised over my notes) for the name of my social worker. I told her that we didn't have one any more, because (as they had promised) they closed our case. She asked instead of the name of my health visitor and wrote that down. It was only afterwards that I thought, "Why?!" Why did she have any business writing that down - it's irrelevant to my maternity care during pregnancy, and I just TOLD her the whole completely unnecessary social services ordeal is OVER with. Just another moment of irksomeness, anyway.
Talking of irritability (!)... I have been really struggling with hormones lately - the past week for sure, but also part of the week before, I think. Increasingly over that time, rather than just the same all the time. I pretty much came to the end of my rope this week, and everything felt too overwhelming! I felt close to tears a lot, and SO irritable at the slightest thing. I felt kind of depressed - not that motivated to do a thing, eat much, etc. I have had trouble getting to sleep quite a few nights recently, even though I'm tired out. I just don't feel happy inside. I have absolutely NO tolerance for any trouble from the boys, and there is perlenty of trouble from the boys on a minute-by-minute basis, so that has been kind of hard to get on with, haha! I also have been feeling "touched-out" from the moment I get up in the morning, and just want to crawl out of my skin sometimes when I'm breastfeeding (less so with Elijah, but hugely with Samuel and even more so with Benjamin), or when Samuel does his thing where he constantly twiddles or fidgets with my skin when he's snuggling next to me, and when he's feeling sleepy. I love that he's so cuddly and we stop to cuddle on the sofa MANY (dozens and dozens) times a day. He always sucks his thumb and fidgets with me absent-mindedly, and I usually don't mind, but lately it's been hard to bear and I've been sort of gently swatting him away or asking him not to fiddle. He's so easy-going and just stops without complaint, but starts again a minute or so later.
I am losing my temper much more easily at the moment, and generally not being very nice to be around. *sigh* I feel horrible for that, which in turn doesn't help my low mood, and then it's a vicious cycle. Praying into coping with things is helping me a lot, as of yesterday. It's a constant effort to keep my thoughts focused on God, and not spiralling negatively. But I can swing back to happy, organised, and positive after a few hours with the boys in bed, eating something comforting and putting on some uplifting music, so I'm thinking it must be hormones. I seem to remember that at 16 weeks with Elijah (or on the way to 17 weeks?) I had a huge sobbing breakdown of an evening, where I phoned Heather and she dropped everything and came over and spent the evening with me, praying, talking and giving hugs. I love her! So maybe it's just a normal hormone thing at this particular stage of pregnancy? I think it's pretty funny/silly that I'm on my 7th baby in 8 years and STILL can't figure out whether this is normal for 16 weeks, hahaha! I guess I'm a slow learner?! Or a quick forgetter! ;) Or maybe they've all been so different in that respect? I actually can't remember, and if I have time (hahahahahaaaa!) I must check my blog over the various pregnancies and see.
Here's something I have noticed which I feel silly about, but it's still there so I'm going to note it: I am not that interested in protein this pregnancy. A photo of pickled dill cucumbers on pinterest did not make me LONG for them. These are my typical boy things, when I'm pregnant, or so I have presumed over my pregnancies. I didn't think much about the protein thing until I was pregnant with Elijah and a friend at MOMYS (mothers of many young siblings) posted about it on the pregnancy forum. She had 4 boys already and was pregnant again. She had an ultrasound which confirmed another boy. She posted to say that she really was noticing a difference this pregnancy, in that she couldn't really care less about protein. With all her boys, she had had cravings for protein, or just REALLY enjoyed or needed her protein when she ate it. I remember reading that and totally relating. I have always needed protein from morning sickness time onwards during my pregnancies, but that seems obvious to me - you're growing a human being in there! You're going to have increased need for protein. Anyway, a bunch of ladies commented, and I can't remember the details of it, but the consensus seemed to be that protein cravings/high needs seemed to be a boy thing, and not having such an urgency about protein held true for them in girl pregnancies. She commented that it was interesting, since she was having a 5th boy, but with such a difference in protein needs, and left it at that. I already knew I was having a 6th boy at the time, but I do remember trying to twist it to think whether mayyyybe I had not wanted protein so much this time around. My food desires are slightly varied during my different pregnancies, but the one thing in common has been - yes, I have needed to eat protein. Eating meat is soooooooo good when I'm pregnant! I crave eggs and it's so good to eat them when I do. Even just tons of cheese is great. I will eat baked beans and eggs on toast for lunch a lot when I'm pregnant and feel like it just about satisfied my protein itch. Without really paying much attention to it, I think about protein a lot when I'm pregnant, and enjoy it.
This time, I am trying to think realistically (I don't want to be psychologically swaying things for myself just in case I might want a girl), and I honestly honestly do not seem to need protein, any more than when I'm not pregnant. If I eat eggs, or beans on toast, it's like, meh. It was good to eat because I was hungry, but that's it. If I eat meat, like a roast dinner, it's nice, but I am not like, "Mmmmmmmmmmmggghhhghaaaaaaggghhhh!" while eating the meat or anything. I never feel like, "Phew, that scratched my protein itch, what a relief!" at ALL. I am trying to eat fish but it sometimes feels like I just. don't. want. to eat any more fish! I can't finish my meals sometimes when we have salmon, because it just feels like too much protein. I have NEVER felt like that in any of my other pregnancies with protein, quite the opposite in fact.
Anyway. This friend of mine had a homebirth, and was perfectly stunned to give birth to a baby girl! ;) Explains the protein thing, huh?! So it has me REALLY wondering now. I only noticed the dill pickle thing this evening when I saw an old pin of mine on Pinterest. I realised suddenly that I haven't wanted vinegary things at all, or anything particularly salty either. I can't say what I DO fancy, that's particularly different from my other pregnancies, but I definitely see a difference in not caring much for salty/vinegary/proteiny stuff. And that is really different for me. And those are "boy" things, so not wanting them is.... interesting! :)
I'm getting so curious, and so eager for my scan! It's June 7th, so only about 4 weeks to go now! :) The time will pass really quick, so that is exciting to know it'll be coming up soon! I'm feeling happy and settled with the idea of the baby being a girl OR a boy, which is a nice way to feel. I like that he's Toby Joseph if he's a boy, I feel so at ease about that. I will be glad if it's a boy for that reason, and glad if it's a girl for obvious reasons, lol! ;) I feel happy and exciting to find out, whichever way it goes. I just hope the baby is healthy and well at the scan. That will be wonderful news! :)
I continue to get spots on my face, maybe a bit less frequently this past week? But that's not my norm in pregnancy, not sustained for so long anyway. I'm starting to have trouble with restless legs, more than usual, but I'm trying to remember to take my pregnancy vitamins if that bothers me, because there's magnesium in that. I keep forgetting though! I am absolutely exhausted this past week. Physically tired more than mentally tired, just down to my bones, and I keep having to lie down and close my eyes in the afternoons (and sometimes, mornings!) while the boys play around me for a bit. Maybe that's not helping the irritability either? I feel like I could just sleep alllll weekend when the weekends come, but that isn't really an option because the boys are a lot of work and Neil gets stressed out by their behaviour sometimes, and I need to be almost as involved as in the weekdays - we just do it side-by-side instead of me doing it on my own in the week. Which is better! :) But lately I am feeling desperate for some respite at the weekends to build my resources back up for the week ahead. I just start my weeks on a low ebb, exhausted and overwhelmed from the start, which is difficult. I would love to do a lot more sleeping, have a quiet bath, and some head-space time without the noise of the boys around me, at the weekends, at the moment. Like it's a deep-rooted NEED, without which I am slowly starting to unravel! I think it's hormones, but sometimes a pregnant, homeschooling mama with half-a-dozen small children gets to burn-out point, never mind the hormones, you know?! Refreshment needed, for sure, right now. I am not getting it, but weekends are still a bit better than the week days. I hate to ask more of Neil at the weekends - they're his weekends too, and he already lets me sleep in every single weekend, because he's wonderful. So I hate to ask for more.
Nathey said something so sweet at bedtime! He asked me to tell him the story of when Elijah was born, and after I'd done so, he said, "Of all the babies, I think Elijah is my favourite baby, because he's so sweet. Except I think soon I am going to have TWO favourite babies, because the new baby is coming!" He had such a sweet happy little smile when he said that, like it was a thought that made him feel glowing on the inside. I love my family! :) (mental note - must share this at Facebook! It's a memory treasure!)
I will update again soon, hopefully! And try to add a picture for 16 weeks if I take one in time!
I am finally unable to wear normal jeans and trousers (except for baggy, drawstring types, which I can still feel comfortable in). I have found a box of my maternity clothes STILL not put away in the loft yet from last time, hahaha! ;) So that has made it easy to dig in and start wearing some maternity items earlier than I usually get Neil to bring them down from the loft! :)
I pretty much live in a pair of maternity jeans that are "under bump" style with adjustable elastic at the sides. They are reeeeeeally comfy, and I remember them being a poor fit or uncomfortable for my last two pregnancies (I only got them during Samuel's pregnancy), probably because I was trying to wear them really late in my pregnancies. They are great for an "early bump"! :)
My little baby is moving and kicking quite a lot, and the kicks are still tiny fluttery taps. I love that I can feel them so clearly. I am increasingly trying to see if I can feel the movements with my hand through my tummy now, because I'm sure I will be able to any time now! I stop whatever I'm doing (in the evening, obviously - can't do that in the day!) when I feel the baby do a few little pops against my tummy, and practically hold my breath as I gently press my hand flat on my tummy in the place I felt the kicks, and wait. So far, either the kicks stop, or they move to the other side, hehe! Or there's a sort of wiggle movement instead and I can't feel that against my hand yet. But soon! I can't wait! :)
I had my 16-week midwife appointment, at 15 weeks and 3 days, for some reason! I can't remember why it was arranged during week 15 but oh well. I went to the clinic for that appointment, and it turned out that neither Neil or Heather could cover me with the kiddies, so I had to take all 6 of them with me. That was interesting. They were sooo well behaved getting in there, and waiting in the waiting area. I got a LOT of comments - "Are they all yours?!", "ALL BOYS?!?!", "Do you know what you're having this time?!", etc. I didn't have a urine sample with me as I didn't have a sample container at home, and it was completely impossible for me to do one at the clinic with all the boys with me, so they said to be sure to bring one next time (which is AGES - 28 weeks or something crazy! Pretty pointless to say that when I'm still only 15 weeks pregnant!). I forgot to take a sample pot with me at the end, but I am NOT taking my children with me to any further appointments. I would seriously rather reschedule or MISS one, it was such hard work! :(
They didn't behave so great after the first few minutes of the appointment and it went downhill from there. Leaving was a NIGHTMARE. They scattered and wouldn't come when called, went into various places in the clinic that they shouldn't have, etc. I was carrying Elijah in my arms so couldn't round them up so easily as usual. They didn't respond to the various bribes and threats (!) that usually work, and it was really really REALLY embarrassing, as nobody seemed to have anything better to do than watch this "crazy" mother of "too many children" completely fail to control them or get them to obey her. Urrrggghhhh. If I took one to the waiting area and went back to get another, there were still 3 to round up, and child #1 may or may not have run off by the time I got back with child #2. They were equally badly behaved in the car park outside - in the car park, people! :/ It's REALLY hard having children (especially the eldest children, when there are lots of little ones under them as well) on the autistic spectrum. They get overwhelmed and overstimulated by unfamiliar situations very easily and then their behaviour gets out of hand fast and I still haven't figured out how to manage or diffuse things in those situations yet. Arthur's report is being written right now, which will confirm that he has Asperger's Syndrome (Autistic Spectrum Disorder). Matthew is still waiting for his assessment appointment right now, but he is harder work than Arthur out and about, because he has (in my opinion) sensory processing issues and ADHD type issues, alongside the autistic-type issues. He has no concept of danger, and his behaviour can get out of control really fast when he's overstimulated, and he gets overstimulated verrrrry easily. I have not figured out how to manage or diffuse things in that kind of situation yet. It's really hard! Anyway, NEVER AGAIN, lol!
Apart from the boys' behaviour and resulting embarrassment and stress, the appointment went okay. My blood pressure was 100/60, my usual low pressure which surprised me considering that all the boys were around me and I was even correcting a couple of them in different directions while my blood pressure was being taken, haha! ;)
The midwife was the same one who came when I was in labour with Benjamin, but who (thankfully) had to finish her shift an hour or so before he was born. I am not crazy about her, although it's nice to see a familiar midwife again, any time I do see her. She doesn't seem awfully sensitive or knowledgeable (flexible knowledge, that is - if that makes sense. She seems to have just learned a bunch of rules and quotes them, rather than considering new research, for example. *sigh*). And she errs on the negative side. She asked me if I had a consultant appointment booked, and I said no, and told her I had declined one. She looked surprised/concerned, but I could tell it wasn't genuine, and anyway it would have been in my notes! That's the reason I was seeing her that day instead of the consultant at 16 weeks! I'm not that daft. So, the look was basically a request for explanation, and I told her that I had done the consultant appointments the last two times and already knew what would be covered, and already knew what my choices were. She didn't need to (of course) but it seemed like she couldn't help saying (in sympathetic tones, as though that made it better), "You know about the risk of bleeding, yeah?" I just dismissed it with a wave of my hand and a quick, "Yeah." There ISN'T an increased risk of bleeding just because I have had more babies - Heather has thoroughly explored that with a lot of research, and I personally witnessed her ask high-ranking midwives and obstetric consultants if they could back up their opinion on that with research, and they couldn't. Because there isn't any. They all admitted it was something they were taught during training (and that was their way of justifying it's truth!). Anyway, I couldn't be bothered to hash that out with this particular midwife so I just brushed it aside, and I think she got the picture.
I told her I already knew all my risk factors, and would be choosing a homebirth. I said I would, as always, be open to other ideas if any new risk factors came about during my pregnancy, but that was that - end of discussion. I am getting more assertive with each pregnancy, over my rights, and I like that, because I'm not naturally very good at being assertive. In such situations (pregnancy, my children's health, etc.) it's really important! So I'm glad to be improving in that area! I know that I 100% have Heather to thank for it, and I'm so grateful to her! :)
The midwife said it was a bit early to find baby's heartbeat at 15 weeks, but (negative tone) if I would like her to try she could give it a go. I said I had been listening on my home doppler for many weeks! ;) So she was more enthusiastic about listening in, but didn't find it for aaaages. I knew she was looking in COMPLETELY the wrong place, but didn't feel comfortable about pointing that out, so I waited. She was looking way too low. She kept saying that sometimes a drink of water makes the bladder fill and the uterus move up, making it easier to hear the heartbeat this early. *sigh* For a start she was looking really low down, squashing the top of my uterus down with her hand, which was MANY inches above where she was using the doppler! Big space full of baby which she didn't apparently think to look in! I went along with it and drank the cup of water she gave me, and she literally had me lie down to "try again" seconds after I downed it, which - what?! How has my bladder had time to fill with the cup of water and shift my womb up by then?! She used the doppler higher up (of course, due to the cup of water) and surprise, surprise, found the baby's heartbeat much higher very quickly. I felt so irritable and like rolling my eyes (I didn't, don't worry) when she said, "See! The water did the trick!" Urgh. I suddenly remembered the annoying issue of finding Benjamin's heartbeat during my labour with him, and how she and the student had a hard time finding it EVERY time they checked and casually would make all sorts of passive-but-negative comments about my position or the baby's to justify their difficulty. Heather was so irritated by it, and even made mention of it in the birth notes she wrote, pointing out that they weren't looking in the right place, and that when Mandi (the midwife who delivered him) came, she always found the heartbeat immediately every time she checked him! :)
Anyway, so that was annoying. Also she asked me (pen poised over my notes) for the name of my social worker. I told her that we didn't have one any more, because (as they had promised) they closed our case. She asked instead of the name of my health visitor and wrote that down. It was only afterwards that I thought, "Why?!" Why did she have any business writing that down - it's irrelevant to my maternity care during pregnancy, and I just TOLD her the whole completely unnecessary social services ordeal is OVER with. Just another moment of irksomeness, anyway.
Talking of irritability (!)... I have been really struggling with hormones lately - the past week for sure, but also part of the week before, I think. Increasingly over that time, rather than just the same all the time. I pretty much came to the end of my rope this week, and everything felt too overwhelming! I felt close to tears a lot, and SO irritable at the slightest thing. I felt kind of depressed - not that motivated to do a thing, eat much, etc. I have had trouble getting to sleep quite a few nights recently, even though I'm tired out. I just don't feel happy inside. I have absolutely NO tolerance for any trouble from the boys, and there is perlenty of trouble from the boys on a minute-by-minute basis, so that has been kind of hard to get on with, haha! I also have been feeling "touched-out" from the moment I get up in the morning, and just want to crawl out of my skin sometimes when I'm breastfeeding (less so with Elijah, but hugely with Samuel and even more so with Benjamin), or when Samuel does his thing where he constantly twiddles or fidgets with my skin when he's snuggling next to me, and when he's feeling sleepy. I love that he's so cuddly and we stop to cuddle on the sofa MANY (dozens and dozens) times a day. He always sucks his thumb and fidgets with me absent-mindedly, and I usually don't mind, but lately it's been hard to bear and I've been sort of gently swatting him away or asking him not to fiddle. He's so easy-going and just stops without complaint, but starts again a minute or so later.
I am losing my temper much more easily at the moment, and generally not being very nice to be around. *sigh* I feel horrible for that, which in turn doesn't help my low mood, and then it's a vicious cycle. Praying into coping with things is helping me a lot, as of yesterday. It's a constant effort to keep my thoughts focused on God, and not spiralling negatively. But I can swing back to happy, organised, and positive after a few hours with the boys in bed, eating something comforting and putting on some uplifting music, so I'm thinking it must be hormones. I seem to remember that at 16 weeks with Elijah (or on the way to 17 weeks?) I had a huge sobbing breakdown of an evening, where I phoned Heather and she dropped everything and came over and spent the evening with me, praying, talking and giving hugs. I love her! So maybe it's just a normal hormone thing at this particular stage of pregnancy? I think it's pretty funny/silly that I'm on my 7th baby in 8 years and STILL can't figure out whether this is normal for 16 weeks, hahaha! I guess I'm a slow learner?! Or a quick forgetter! ;) Or maybe they've all been so different in that respect? I actually can't remember, and if I have time (hahahahahaaaa!) I must check my blog over the various pregnancies and see.
Here's something I have noticed which I feel silly about, but it's still there so I'm going to note it: I am not that interested in protein this pregnancy. A photo of pickled dill cucumbers on pinterest did not make me LONG for them. These are my typical boy things, when I'm pregnant, or so I have presumed over my pregnancies. I didn't think much about the protein thing until I was pregnant with Elijah and a friend at MOMYS (mothers of many young siblings) posted about it on the pregnancy forum. She had 4 boys already and was pregnant again. She had an ultrasound which confirmed another boy. She posted to say that she really was noticing a difference this pregnancy, in that she couldn't really care less about protein. With all her boys, she had had cravings for protein, or just REALLY enjoyed or needed her protein when she ate it. I remember reading that and totally relating. I have always needed protein from morning sickness time onwards during my pregnancies, but that seems obvious to me - you're growing a human being in there! You're going to have increased need for protein. Anyway, a bunch of ladies commented, and I can't remember the details of it, but the consensus seemed to be that protein cravings/high needs seemed to be a boy thing, and not having such an urgency about protein held true for them in girl pregnancies. She commented that it was interesting, since she was having a 5th boy, but with such a difference in protein needs, and left it at that. I already knew I was having a 6th boy at the time, but I do remember trying to twist it to think whether mayyyybe I had not wanted protein so much this time around. My food desires are slightly varied during my different pregnancies, but the one thing in common has been - yes, I have needed to eat protein. Eating meat is soooooooo good when I'm pregnant! I crave eggs and it's so good to eat them when I do. Even just tons of cheese is great. I will eat baked beans and eggs on toast for lunch a lot when I'm pregnant and feel like it just about satisfied my protein itch. Without really paying much attention to it, I think about protein a lot when I'm pregnant, and enjoy it.
This time, I am trying to think realistically (I don't want to be psychologically swaying things for myself just in case I might want a girl), and I honestly honestly do not seem to need protein, any more than when I'm not pregnant. If I eat eggs, or beans on toast, it's like, meh. It was good to eat because I was hungry, but that's it. If I eat meat, like a roast dinner, it's nice, but I am not like, "Mmmmmmmmmmmggghhhghaaaaaaggghhhh!" while eating the meat or anything. I never feel like, "Phew, that scratched my protein itch, what a relief!" at ALL. I am trying to eat fish but it sometimes feels like I just. don't. want. to eat any more fish! I can't finish my meals sometimes when we have salmon, because it just feels like too much protein. I have NEVER felt like that in any of my other pregnancies with protein, quite the opposite in fact.
Anyway. This friend of mine had a homebirth, and was perfectly stunned to give birth to a baby girl! ;) Explains the protein thing, huh?! So it has me REALLY wondering now. I only noticed the dill pickle thing this evening when I saw an old pin of mine on Pinterest. I realised suddenly that I haven't wanted vinegary things at all, or anything particularly salty either. I can't say what I DO fancy, that's particularly different from my other pregnancies, but I definitely see a difference in not caring much for salty/vinegary/proteiny stuff. And that is really different for me. And those are "boy" things, so not wanting them is.... interesting! :)
I'm getting so curious, and so eager for my scan! It's June 7th, so only about 4 weeks to go now! :) The time will pass really quick, so that is exciting to know it'll be coming up soon! I'm feeling happy and settled with the idea of the baby being a girl OR a boy, which is a nice way to feel. I like that he's Toby Joseph if he's a boy, I feel so at ease about that. I will be glad if it's a boy for that reason, and glad if it's a girl for obvious reasons, lol! ;) I feel happy and exciting to find out, whichever way it goes. I just hope the baby is healthy and well at the scan. That will be wonderful news! :)
I continue to get spots on my face, maybe a bit less frequently this past week? But that's not my norm in pregnancy, not sustained for so long anyway. I'm starting to have trouble with restless legs, more than usual, but I'm trying to remember to take my pregnancy vitamins if that bothers me, because there's magnesium in that. I keep forgetting though! I am absolutely exhausted this past week. Physically tired more than mentally tired, just down to my bones, and I keep having to lie down and close my eyes in the afternoons (and sometimes, mornings!) while the boys play around me for a bit. Maybe that's not helping the irritability either? I feel like I could just sleep alllll weekend when the weekends come, but that isn't really an option because the boys are a lot of work and Neil gets stressed out by their behaviour sometimes, and I need to be almost as involved as in the weekdays - we just do it side-by-side instead of me doing it on my own in the week. Which is better! :) But lately I am feeling desperate for some respite at the weekends to build my resources back up for the week ahead. I just start my weeks on a low ebb, exhausted and overwhelmed from the start, which is difficult. I would love to do a lot more sleeping, have a quiet bath, and some head-space time without the noise of the boys around me, at the weekends, at the moment. Like it's a deep-rooted NEED, without which I am slowly starting to unravel! I think it's hormones, but sometimes a pregnant, homeschooling mama with half-a-dozen small children gets to burn-out point, never mind the hormones, you know?! Refreshment needed, for sure, right now. I am not getting it, but weekends are still a bit better than the week days. I hate to ask more of Neil at the weekends - they're his weekends too, and he already lets me sleep in every single weekend, because he's wonderful. So I hate to ask for more.
Nathey said something so sweet at bedtime! He asked me to tell him the story of when Elijah was born, and after I'd done so, he said, "Of all the babies, I think Elijah is my favourite baby, because he's so sweet. Except I think soon I am going to have TWO favourite babies, because the new baby is coming!" He had such a sweet happy little smile when he said that, like it was a thought that made him feel glowing on the inside. I love my family! :) (mental note - must share this at Facebook! It's a memory treasure!)
I will update again soon, hopefully! And try to add a picture for 16 weeks if I take one in time!
Saturday, April 27, 2013
14 weeks, 3 days (already!)
The weekend marks my half-week point each week, and because the weeks generally go by quickly and it's always weekend before I can believe it (and that's over in a blink as well!), I'm starting to be really astounded every time it's Saturday (like today) and I realise that I'm already halfway through another pregnancy week, even though I only just turned that many weeks pregnant the last time I looked up!
I am feeling the baby move and make tiny wiggles much more frequently now, probably enough times per day that I am not really counting. Not like a dozen or anything, but several times at least, each day. I LOVE this stage! :) On rare occasions I am starting to feel a proper kick, but it's still such a very tiny feeling, even though I can tell it's done with real gusto, bless Krispie's tiny heart! :) The "big" kicks feel like a firm but extremely brief poke with the tip of my little finger - makes my heart just melllllt away! :)
The boys (especially Arthur) have been absolutely longing to hear the baby's heartbeat with the doppler, so this past week I got it out and let them listen. I lay on the living room rug for ease of access - they all wanted to sit around me. Elijah wouldn't stop clambering over my chest and patting my tummy as I was trying to find the heartbeat with the doppler, so Neil had to pick him up in the end, lol! The others all sat expectant and excited. They all gasped when they heard MY pulse as I picked up the placenta, thinking it was the baby's, but I explained what it was, and when we heard the much faster little galloping heartrate of our tiny baby, they were so excited! Arthur probably could have listened all evening if I had let him! He was very disappointed when I put it away after maybe 4 or 5 minutes, and has asked every evening since then if we could listen before bed. I don't want to use the doppler all the time (what a change from the days when I was listening in to Arthur's heart beating on a daily basis for weeks, hehe!) so I haven't obliged him yet, but I told him maybe once or twice a week - he made suitably horrified noises and isn't exactly happy about that, which I LOVE because of how much he enjoys me being pregnant and there being a new little baby on the way! :)
When we listened with the doppler, the baby was very active. The heartbeat was constantly disappearing and I would move the doppler an inch across and find it again, only to have a big SPLATCH-BOOMPFH sound and then have to find it all over again! ;) All the boys loved hearing the splatches and static "doof" sounds of the baby kicking about, and laughed every time, making comments about it being a very busy baby, or a cheeky baby, trying to hide from us already! ;)
I am starting to feel better! Over the past week I have still felt really sick most of the day, much worse when nearing mealtimes, and in the evening, but definitely nothing like the earlier weeks, and I am managing the days much more normally again now, not held back by nausea at all any more really. I do have to make sure I eat when I feel my nausea worsening, and - though it makes me feel guilty EVERY TIME, I have to make sure that I make my lunch and eat it first, before serving the boys theirs. Otherwise I never make it through the lunch-making process for the boys before feeling too dreadful to finish and serve, and then make my own. I also have still had to nibble throughout the day to try to keep the nausea from worsening.
BUT, the day before yesterday I realised I had had patches in the day where I didn't remember feeling nauseous as such at all, or maybe just mildly queasy. Otherwise it was pretty much the same. I only realised it in hindsight, the following day, when I realised I had not felt sick much outside of mealtimes, AND I didn't need to eat a thing during the evening! I didn't eat for 5+ hours after eating dinner with Neil and the boys much earlier, and did NOT feel sick!!!! That really gave me hope! :)
Today, I was ready to be more aware as the day went on. I woke without nausea, kept down a big glass of water to take my GERD meds, without nausea (drinking water is a BIG difficulty for me, even sips, when morning sick), ate breakfast, and then did not feel sick at all until just before lunch time!!!! So exciting!! I have felt sick pretty much most of the day since then, but milder - just queasiness really. I have felt pretty yucky at times and had to snack to keep it from getting worse, but I would still say even then that it's milder. I REALLY hope that it means mayyyybe the morning sickness might be on the way out! I am cautious about that because I remember last pregnancy I had two periods of about a week during my morning sickness (10-11 weeks, and 19-20 weeks, I think) where I had NO morning sickness, and was sure that must be it, but then it came back again both times. So we'll see! But I'll take milder morning sickness for sure - yay!
Today Neil and I talked about baby names. I feel so much more strongly all the time that this baby IS a girl, but I have a hard time believing that even so because - strong hunch or not - I have NEVER produced one, haha! I'm sure I've had girl hunches before with some of my earlier pregnancies and obviously those hunches were not correct! ;) So I hesitate to go there.... I don't want to set myself up for disappointment if it's a boy, because then I will be crushingly disappointed beyond comfort AT MYSELF, just annoyed and frustrated that I let myself go there, you know? I will be over the moon and completely in awe at God's blessings to me if I am having a SEVENTH son in a row, and that's the honest truth. So I don't want to mess that up with some unnecessary anticipation thing. So, I don't want to think about girl names. Neil was commenting on my shape (I am starting to show, wheeee!!!) and saying that it seems different this time - more up and down rather than round like a ball (very girly - that has been my own observation with friends who have carried girls and not found out the gender until birth, and I've theorised based on the "vertical watermelon" shape, or high bump, and mostly been right). Anyway, he commented about it seeming like a girl, and I agreed, and then told him I didn't want to set any more anticipation up than necessary, and I wanted to NOT think of girl names before the scan, but I did want to have a boy's name ready that I REALLY like, so that I can be full of joy to name him right away when (if?) we see the ever-present boy bits! ;) Then I have something wonderful to DO straight away, as a result of seeing those bits, you know? I can get straight into the joy of having another boy, and I WANT that so much.
So Neil asked me if there was a name I liked, and I told him the only name I have in my head for a boy is Toby, even though we've used it in a sense, for Elijah's twin lost very early on. I named that baby Toby David, because I love the name Toby, and it means "God is good", and David means "beloved". It seemed perfect. But I still love the name, and it feels like if we have another son then Toby is the perfect name, still, for the next boy. I love the way Toby sounds when I say all the boys' names in a row together. It goes well with our surname, the meaning is wonderful, and... I just love it. I would love to be able to physically SAY the name a hundred times a day to a little one, and hear his brothers say it too. I didn't want it just tucked away in my memory album, never mentioned, as it has been. Toby David is still Toby David, but it feels okay, somehow, to use Toby again for a living child.
Neil likes the name and asked me if I had thought of any middle names. I have! :) I wanted a 'J' name for some reason, and liked the meanings of the following: "Joseph" (may He add - as in, more children), "Judah" (praise), "Jonathan" (gift of God), and "Josiah" (the Lord saves). We discussed those for a while, and liked the two-syllable names for their "ring" better, and we chose Joseph. So, if we get to our scan on June 7th and find out that our baby IS a boy, he will immediately bear the name Toby Joseph (Neil secretly loves the idea of calling him TJ, but hmmm, that's not my thing, so it can be his special daddy-son thing, I guess, lol!). I love that the name means that God is good, and may He add more children to our family! Love that sooooooo much, and I know I will be joyful and excited to name him at the scan and be ready to tell people (well, the people we'll tell before the birth, not the general public or Facebook!) when we get home. I'm so grateful to Neil for being so understanding and so easy-going about the name I've chosen, just happy for it to be our baby's name if it's a boy. He knows it means a great deal to me, and I'm just so grateful! We will not be choosing a girl's name, because it will help me not get overly focused on the baby being a girl, or falling in love with a girl's name that we might never get to use, etc. And also we've got plenty of time to think about that once we know for sure, if it's even possible that I really and truly COULD be carrying a girl baby!!! :-O We did discuss middle names though, because we always planned to do like the boys' names, and use our mothers' names - one at a time, of course. I am not crazy about two middle names. I much prefer just one per child, but if we really do have a daughter, she could very likely be our only one, and we would not want to use one mother's name and never use the other one. My mum's name is Jane, and Neil's mum's name is Averil. Jane Averil would work fine for two middle names, but I really don't want two middle names! :S We originally planned for our first daughter to have Jane as her middle name, and the second daughter to have Averil. But hmmm... Anyway, we haven't really made much progress on that, but we've discussed it a bit anyway. If we have a girl, her middle name will definitely be one (or both!) of those names.
Okay it's suddenly really late and I must go to bed. I am a bit queasy. Oh! I forgot, I think my milk is drying up a bit. Earlier than the last time or two? I can't remember. It's still there, Elijah still sometimes has milk running down his chin when he pulls away suddenly, but I am still breastfeeding Samuel, and Benjamin (for very brief (seconds, sometimes) sessions, and usually just at bedtime and once in the day somewhere when he sees a younger brother nursing), who can tell me things like, "I didn't get any!" sadly, or "There's none left!" even after a few minutes. So I'm pretty sure that's a sign it's going. Also, Samuel and Elijah seem thirsty a lot more, and especially right after nursing, which would indicate that it's saltier than usual (weaning milk, a natural result of diminished supply when breast milk dries up). Elijah is such a petite little manny for his age, that I worry that he's not getting enough nourishment with my milk drying up. It was definitely his main source of nutrition, even though he's eating well now. He turned 11 months old today (!!!!!!!!!!!) and has a month to go before he starts drinking cows' milk (when I will rest much easier!). Right now I'm working cooked milk into his diet as much as possible. Thankfully he loves homemade macaroni cheese, porridge, rice pudding, etc, so it's not too hard. He seems hungry whenever offered food, so I'm just really increasing the offerings right now, and he's happy with that! He is drinking a LOT of water now as well, through a beaker with a lid (he has never had a bottle) independently, so that's reassuring too. He has started having a night drink by the bed at night for the first time this week, in case he is thirsty at night and my milk doesn't satisfy his thirst for whatever reason. I nurse him on demand day and night, and this has always included MANY times each night (minimum 3, ever) like all my other babies at this age, and when I'm pregnant and my milk supply is diminishing, it always does seem to flow more strongly at night, so I'm glad to keep nursing him multiple times at night while he's under a year old, and a bit beyond too really.
There's probably other stuff to write, but I MUST go to bed! Glad to get in an update though! Ooh, and I posted two entries right before this one - long overdue. One is my ultrasound gallery, with the pics from 8 weeks and 12 weeks (and will add the next scan too), and the other is my belly gallery (at last!!) with the only two belly pics I've taken so far, at 7 weeks and 12.5 weeks. Must try to keep up with them better this time around! I was pretty bad at it the last two pregnancies. :( Anyway, yay! Those pages are up for your viewing pleasure, lol!
Hopefully back soon! :)
I am feeling the baby move and make tiny wiggles much more frequently now, probably enough times per day that I am not really counting. Not like a dozen or anything, but several times at least, each day. I LOVE this stage! :) On rare occasions I am starting to feel a proper kick, but it's still such a very tiny feeling, even though I can tell it's done with real gusto, bless Krispie's tiny heart! :) The "big" kicks feel like a firm but extremely brief poke with the tip of my little finger - makes my heart just melllllt away! :)
The boys (especially Arthur) have been absolutely longing to hear the baby's heartbeat with the doppler, so this past week I got it out and let them listen. I lay on the living room rug for ease of access - they all wanted to sit around me. Elijah wouldn't stop clambering over my chest and patting my tummy as I was trying to find the heartbeat with the doppler, so Neil had to pick him up in the end, lol! The others all sat expectant and excited. They all gasped when they heard MY pulse as I picked up the placenta, thinking it was the baby's, but I explained what it was, and when we heard the much faster little galloping heartrate of our tiny baby, they were so excited! Arthur probably could have listened all evening if I had let him! He was very disappointed when I put it away after maybe 4 or 5 minutes, and has asked every evening since then if we could listen before bed. I don't want to use the doppler all the time (what a change from the days when I was listening in to Arthur's heart beating on a daily basis for weeks, hehe!) so I haven't obliged him yet, but I told him maybe once or twice a week - he made suitably horrified noises and isn't exactly happy about that, which I LOVE because of how much he enjoys me being pregnant and there being a new little baby on the way! :)
When we listened with the doppler, the baby was very active. The heartbeat was constantly disappearing and I would move the doppler an inch across and find it again, only to have a big SPLATCH-BOOMPFH sound and then have to find it all over again! ;) All the boys loved hearing the splatches and static "doof" sounds of the baby kicking about, and laughed every time, making comments about it being a very busy baby, or a cheeky baby, trying to hide from us already! ;)
I am starting to feel better! Over the past week I have still felt really sick most of the day, much worse when nearing mealtimes, and in the evening, but definitely nothing like the earlier weeks, and I am managing the days much more normally again now, not held back by nausea at all any more really. I do have to make sure I eat when I feel my nausea worsening, and - though it makes me feel guilty EVERY TIME, I have to make sure that I make my lunch and eat it first, before serving the boys theirs. Otherwise I never make it through the lunch-making process for the boys before feeling too dreadful to finish and serve, and then make my own. I also have still had to nibble throughout the day to try to keep the nausea from worsening.
BUT, the day before yesterday I realised I had had patches in the day where I didn't remember feeling nauseous as such at all, or maybe just mildly queasy. Otherwise it was pretty much the same. I only realised it in hindsight, the following day, when I realised I had not felt sick much outside of mealtimes, AND I didn't need to eat a thing during the evening! I didn't eat for 5+ hours after eating dinner with Neil and the boys much earlier, and did NOT feel sick!!!! That really gave me hope! :)
Today, I was ready to be more aware as the day went on. I woke without nausea, kept down a big glass of water to take my GERD meds, without nausea (drinking water is a BIG difficulty for me, even sips, when morning sick), ate breakfast, and then did not feel sick at all until just before lunch time!!!! So exciting!! I have felt sick pretty much most of the day since then, but milder - just queasiness really. I have felt pretty yucky at times and had to snack to keep it from getting worse, but I would still say even then that it's milder. I REALLY hope that it means mayyyybe the morning sickness might be on the way out! I am cautious about that because I remember last pregnancy I had two periods of about a week during my morning sickness (10-11 weeks, and 19-20 weeks, I think) where I had NO morning sickness, and was sure that must be it, but then it came back again both times. So we'll see! But I'll take milder morning sickness for sure - yay!
Today Neil and I talked about baby names. I feel so much more strongly all the time that this baby IS a girl, but I have a hard time believing that even so because - strong hunch or not - I have NEVER produced one, haha! I'm sure I've had girl hunches before with some of my earlier pregnancies and obviously those hunches were not correct! ;) So I hesitate to go there.... I don't want to set myself up for disappointment if it's a boy, because then I will be crushingly disappointed beyond comfort AT MYSELF, just annoyed and frustrated that I let myself go there, you know? I will be over the moon and completely in awe at God's blessings to me if I am having a SEVENTH son in a row, and that's the honest truth. So I don't want to mess that up with some unnecessary anticipation thing. So, I don't want to think about girl names. Neil was commenting on my shape (I am starting to show, wheeee!!!) and saying that it seems different this time - more up and down rather than round like a ball (very girly - that has been my own observation with friends who have carried girls and not found out the gender until birth, and I've theorised based on the "vertical watermelon" shape, or high bump, and mostly been right). Anyway, he commented about it seeming like a girl, and I agreed, and then told him I didn't want to set any more anticipation up than necessary, and I wanted to NOT think of girl names before the scan, but I did want to have a boy's name ready that I REALLY like, so that I can be full of joy to name him right away when (if?) we see the ever-present boy bits! ;) Then I have something wonderful to DO straight away, as a result of seeing those bits, you know? I can get straight into the joy of having another boy, and I WANT that so much.
So Neil asked me if there was a name I liked, and I told him the only name I have in my head for a boy is Toby, even though we've used it in a sense, for Elijah's twin lost very early on. I named that baby Toby David, because I love the name Toby, and it means "God is good", and David means "beloved". It seemed perfect. But I still love the name, and it feels like if we have another son then Toby is the perfect name, still, for the next boy. I love the way Toby sounds when I say all the boys' names in a row together. It goes well with our surname, the meaning is wonderful, and... I just love it. I would love to be able to physically SAY the name a hundred times a day to a little one, and hear his brothers say it too. I didn't want it just tucked away in my memory album, never mentioned, as it has been. Toby David is still Toby David, but it feels okay, somehow, to use Toby again for a living child.
Neil likes the name and asked me if I had thought of any middle names. I have! :) I wanted a 'J' name for some reason, and liked the meanings of the following: "Joseph" (may He add - as in, more children), "Judah" (praise), "Jonathan" (gift of God), and "Josiah" (the Lord saves). We discussed those for a while, and liked the two-syllable names for their "ring" better, and we chose Joseph. So, if we get to our scan on June 7th and find out that our baby IS a boy, he will immediately bear the name Toby Joseph (Neil secretly loves the idea of calling him TJ, but hmmm, that's not my thing, so it can be his special daddy-son thing, I guess, lol!). I love that the name means that God is good, and may He add more children to our family! Love that sooooooo much, and I know I will be joyful and excited to name him at the scan and be ready to tell people (well, the people we'll tell before the birth, not the general public or Facebook!) when we get home. I'm so grateful to Neil for being so understanding and so easy-going about the name I've chosen, just happy for it to be our baby's name if it's a boy. He knows it means a great deal to me, and I'm just so grateful! We will not be choosing a girl's name, because it will help me not get overly focused on the baby being a girl, or falling in love with a girl's name that we might never get to use, etc. And also we've got plenty of time to think about that once we know for sure, if it's even possible that I really and truly COULD be carrying a girl baby!!! :-O We did discuss middle names though, because we always planned to do like the boys' names, and use our mothers' names - one at a time, of course. I am not crazy about two middle names. I much prefer just one per child, but if we really do have a daughter, she could very likely be our only one, and we would not want to use one mother's name and never use the other one. My mum's name is Jane, and Neil's mum's name is Averil. Jane Averil would work fine for two middle names, but I really don't want two middle names! :S We originally planned for our first daughter to have Jane as her middle name, and the second daughter to have Averil. But hmmm... Anyway, we haven't really made much progress on that, but we've discussed it a bit anyway. If we have a girl, her middle name will definitely be one (or both!) of those names.
Okay it's suddenly really late and I must go to bed. I am a bit queasy. Oh! I forgot, I think my milk is drying up a bit. Earlier than the last time or two? I can't remember. It's still there, Elijah still sometimes has milk running down his chin when he pulls away suddenly, but I am still breastfeeding Samuel, and Benjamin (for very brief (seconds, sometimes) sessions, and usually just at bedtime and once in the day somewhere when he sees a younger brother nursing), who can tell me things like, "I didn't get any!" sadly, or "There's none left!" even after a few minutes. So I'm pretty sure that's a sign it's going. Also, Samuel and Elijah seem thirsty a lot more, and especially right after nursing, which would indicate that it's saltier than usual (weaning milk, a natural result of diminished supply when breast milk dries up). Elijah is such a petite little manny for his age, that I worry that he's not getting enough nourishment with my milk drying up. It was definitely his main source of nutrition, even though he's eating well now. He turned 11 months old today (!!!!!!!!!!!) and has a month to go before he starts drinking cows' milk (when I will rest much easier!). Right now I'm working cooked milk into his diet as much as possible. Thankfully he loves homemade macaroni cheese, porridge, rice pudding, etc, so it's not too hard. He seems hungry whenever offered food, so I'm just really increasing the offerings right now, and he's happy with that! He is drinking a LOT of water now as well, through a beaker with a lid (he has never had a bottle) independently, so that's reassuring too. He has started having a night drink by the bed at night for the first time this week, in case he is thirsty at night and my milk doesn't satisfy his thirst for whatever reason. I nurse him on demand day and night, and this has always included MANY times each night (minimum 3, ever) like all my other babies at this age, and when I'm pregnant and my milk supply is diminishing, it always does seem to flow more strongly at night, so I'm glad to keep nursing him multiple times at night while he's under a year old, and a bit beyond too really.
There's probably other stuff to write, but I MUST go to bed! Glad to get in an update though! Ooh, and I posted two entries right before this one - long overdue. One is my ultrasound gallery, with the pics from 8 weeks and 12 weeks (and will add the next scan too), and the other is my belly gallery (at last!!) with the only two belly pics I've taken so far, at 7 weeks and 12.5 weeks. Must try to keep up with them better this time around! I was pretty bad at it the last two pregnancies. :( Anyway, yay! Those pages are up for your viewing pleasure, lol!
Hopefully back soon! :)
Ultrasound Gallery for Baby #7!
Here's the page where I'll record all the ultrasound pictures for my 7th precious baby! :)
The first scan was at 8 weeks, to check for a reason for some light bleeding. Here's my first glimpse of my sweetie!...
See the little leg extended in the second photo! I love every tiny stumpy detail. Completely in love x7! :)
Next came the first routine scan at 12 weeks (and one day):
The baby was very relaxed! One little hand up in front of the face/nose area - you can see the fingers in the pictures. The other arms was stretched casually up over the baby's head, which you can't really see in the pictures because of the cross-sectioning, but it was so sweet to see! If we're guessing on gender, based on the nub theory (or "angle of the dangle"), the very obvious nub in the pictures looks girly, but it's on the early side to be sure, so we will have to wait and see at the 21 week scan! We will be happy either way! :)
The first scan was at 8 weeks, to check for a reason for some light bleeding. Here's my first glimpse of my sweetie!...
See the little leg extended in the second photo! I love every tiny stumpy detail. Completely in love x7! :)
Next came the first routine scan at 12 weeks (and one day):
The baby was very relaxed! One little hand up in front of the face/nose area - you can see the fingers in the pictures. The other arms was stretched casually up over the baby's head, which you can't really see in the pictures because of the cross-sectioning, but it was so sweet to see! If we're guessing on gender, based on the nub theory (or "angle of the dangle"), the very obvious nub in the pictures looks girly, but it's on the early side to be sure, so we will have to wait and see at the 21 week scan! We will be happy either way! :)
Belly Gallery for Baby #7!
Here is my belly gallery for my 7th baby! :) I am totally missing the mark on my usual timings for belly pictures so far (14 weeks) but never mind! Here's the first one, taken at 7 weeks instead of the usual 5 weeks (the light was really poor and the camera was being weird, hence my attempt to rescue it by making it black and white!):
7 weeks pregnant
12 (and a half!) weeks pregnant
20 weeks and 6 days pregnant (and it's a GIRL!!!)
22 weeks (an on-time belly picture at last!)
28 weeks exactly, with my little ones all around me (an imitation of the 28 week belly pic from Elijah's pregnancy!)
32 weeks pregnant - it'll do as a belly pic as I'm sideways on, lol! Family photo taken by a random stranger on our holiday week in August. :)
38 weeks and 1 day! :)
7 weeks pregnant
12 (and a half!) weeks pregnant
20 weeks and 6 days pregnant (and it's a GIRL!!!)
22 weeks (an on-time belly picture at last!)
28 weeks exactly, with my little ones all around me (an imitation of the 28 week belly pic from Elijah's pregnancy!)
32 weeks pregnant - it'll do as a belly pic as I'm sideways on, lol! Family photo taken by a random stranger on our holiday week in August. :)
38 weeks and 1 day! :)
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
12 weeks, 1 day - scan!
Soooo much to update on - I am slightly aghast (at myself) that it has been over 3 weeks!!! At this quickly-changing stage too! :( So sorry! I'm annoyed with myself too, because it means I haven't got records of how I found weeks 9, 10 and 11. I will try to remember and do a QUICK catch-up. So many milestones have been marked since I last updated.
I heard the baby's heart beating with my doppler at 9 weeks (I can't remember exact gestation - 9w3d?)!! Soooo lovely, and it never gets old to hear that sweet sweet sound for the first time all over again! :) I have only used the doppler once since, and that was a couple of evenings ago, where Neil heard it for the first time. This time, the little one was REALLY wiggly and active, and constantly moving in and out of doppler range! Lots of bumps and splatches on the audio as the baby kicked too! Wiggly little bean! :)
Over the past couple of weeks (maybe 3?) I have been having much more trouble with spots on my face than I remember in my other pregnancies. I have had some skin trouble like this in the past few pregnancies, but this time seems worse to me. I get a good few and they last a few days and then clear up, and I get a day or so free and then a few more start up at once. They're nearly always in the same places, but they're more persistant than I remember from any previous pregnancies anyway, so I'm noting it. Hormones probably!
Still feeling sick - week 9 was yucky, week 10 not so bad, and week 11 really grim again. I'm only 2 days into week 12 but feeling really bleurghy so far! I wonder how long my morning sickness will last this time? I just have to keep on top of eating, but I feel sick regardless. It's not too overwhelming though, like it was in the first couple of weeks. Not this week, at least! It does vary a little from week to week, rather unpredictably.
I hit my second trimester (yaaaaaaaaaaaay!!) yesterday!! I always start my second trimesters at 12 weeks because I use the developmental method of fetal development (and placental development, for that matter), rather than just getting the calculator out and diving 40 weeks by 3 (or the crazy ovulation method - dividing 38 weeks by 3 - that makes the first trimester over 14 weeks long!!). My little baby has all his/her organ systems in place as of 12 weeks, and is now "fine tuning" and growing! :) I am so happy to be in my second trimester - it's always nice to leave the first one behind, especially if I'm feeling sick!
I had my booking appointment with the midwife a couple of weeks ago which went really well. My blood pressure was 110/60, my urine was normal, and I had all the bloods taken, which have since come back normal.
I have been feeling the baby move from just before 10 weeks - just incredibly subtle tickly sensations under my pubic bone or just above it, so that I doubted myself at first. But during week 10 I was much more sure. I had the odd little "stroke" across or "flubble" feeling inside, in the right place. Sometimes there would be a little pressurey surge for a moment, and then it would give way again. So I knew I was feeling my baby! :) At 11 weeks, I had the first really serious baby movement. I was lying on my side breastfeeding Elijah at bedtime, and suddenly felt a quick "puh-doiiing" bounce inside. The "puh" was a sudden (very tiny and lightweight) tap to my cervix, followed within a second (very quick) by a rebound sensation on the top of my womb, about 2 inches above my pubic bone! My little teeny (5cm!) person had literally bounced off my cervix and rebounded off the other end of my womb! Boiiiing! :D I have felt lots of little teeny bumps, flicks and sweeps since then, and I'm LOVING it! I adore the stage of feeling movements, and look forward to hiccups and feeling little parts through my tummy, and so on!
I am showing a bit, though very high - maybe just pushed-up bloat?! I have taken a couple of belly pics so far (first one at 7 weeks) but haven't uploaded any yet - must get to that soon.
Today I went for my 12 week scan! I am only 12w1d, which is the earliest I have had this scan with my other pregnancies (Matthew was 12w2d) - they've otherwise been between 12w3d and 13w exactly. The baby measured 12w3d today though, same amount ahead as the last scan I had, so they've changed my due date to October 20th. I am still going with my original due date of the 22nd though, because well, I just am! It gives me 2 days longer to go into labour before they start harrassing me! ;)
Everything looked wonderful with the baby, and we declined the nuchal/combined test for Downs Syndrome as usual, because it wouldn't alter a thing for us re. the outcome of the pregnancy (ie. we would never. ever. ever. in a million years terminate a pregnancy) and we would joyfully embrace a child with Downs Syndrome anyway. So, no testing. They said that the baby measured 60mm from crown to rump (so weeny, and yet SO perfectly formed!) and all the various anatomy and other measurements were normal.
Because I'm only 12w1d, it's on the early side for the "angle of the dangle" nub theory to be accurate - the closer to 12 weeks, the less accurate, and the closer to 13 weeks, the more accurate. This is because before 12 weeks, all nubs look the same - flat and "girly", parallel to the spine. Boy nubs will start to angle upwards from the spine to varying degrees (Benjamin's was 90 degrees, lol! Samuel's was more like 30 degrees, and more subtle to be sure) somewhere between 12 and 13 weeks. Matthew, at 12w2d, had what looks to me from the picture to be quite a girly nub. It still looks parallel to the spine to me, though not quite flat.
I got dozens and dozens of "shots" of the nub this time. It was REALLY clear and easy to spot, and I saw it many times from lots of different angles during the scan, while the baby was moving, etc. It wasn't the wiggliest of babies at the scan, quite restful really, but got a bit annoyed and moved about quite a bit when they laid the bed flat and tilted my head down and my feet up (I felt yucky after a bit and asked to have it put back up again!) to get the baby in a better position. So I had a lot of chances to see the nub angle clearly. I also got 3 almost identical pictures, all of which clearly show the nub too! So clearly, that I am suddenly a bit shy of posting the pictures on Facebook yet, which is unusual of me.
If I was 3 or 4 days further along, I would ONE HUNDRED PERCENT be expecting to have a GIRL baby in October!! I honestly could not believe what I seeing at the scan. I kept seeing it flash into sight again, and in my head I was saying, "There it is again. It's flat. It's FLAT. There's no angle at ALL!" I have never seen a nub like this before on one of my own babies, but I still can't. believe that I will end up producing a baby girl. Seriously! I am totally unable to grasp that concept, so right now I am thinking, surely it's just too early and the nub is going to angle up? I double checked Nicola's latest 12 week scan pic when she was 11w6d (too early, but still only 2 days before my gestation) and her baby's nub was pretty much exactly like my baby's nub, except that she is having a boy! Soooo..... I don't dare think much more about it (which of course is like not daring to breathe any oxygen for the next couple of days) in case it's just too early. I will rejoice in another son, but I will set myself up for a hard time that is totally unnecessary if I am expecting to maybe see girly bits at the 20 week scan, if this nub is simply looking girly because of the slightly early gestation for calling this kind of thing. That said, here are the pictures - see what you think!
See? Girly nub! I have posted at in-gender about it with the pics (well, the 3rd wouldn't load) and people there are saying it looks girly but it's a bit on the early side to say for sure, like I thought. I will just somehow have to be patient and wait and see! ;) I really don't want to go telling people that it might be a girl, because I might be wrong, and having 6 boys already makes the whole world likely to be EXTREMELY sorrowful on my behalf if there was a smidge of a chance that this baby might be a girl and then it turns out not to be. And I don't want to go there, people! I seriously will be full of joy if it's a boy! Neil says the whole baby looks different to him, especially the head shape (?!), and the nub, obviously. We will probably plan a girl's name, because of the nub in this scan, but also plan for a boy as we always do. We haven't even looked at girl names in the past few pregnancies, lol!
Okay, it's really late and I MUST go to bed. I will TRY to update again soon, as I'm sure I have more to say if I wasn't so nauseated and late for bed! The weeks are whizzing by at a rather scary rate, so I'm sure I'll be 16 weeks or something the next time I blink! ;)
I heard the baby's heart beating with my doppler at 9 weeks (I can't remember exact gestation - 9w3d?)!! Soooo lovely, and it never gets old to hear that sweet sweet sound for the first time all over again! :) I have only used the doppler once since, and that was a couple of evenings ago, where Neil heard it for the first time. This time, the little one was REALLY wiggly and active, and constantly moving in and out of doppler range! Lots of bumps and splatches on the audio as the baby kicked too! Wiggly little bean! :)
Over the past couple of weeks (maybe 3?) I have been having much more trouble with spots on my face than I remember in my other pregnancies. I have had some skin trouble like this in the past few pregnancies, but this time seems worse to me. I get a good few and they last a few days and then clear up, and I get a day or so free and then a few more start up at once. They're nearly always in the same places, but they're more persistant than I remember from any previous pregnancies anyway, so I'm noting it. Hormones probably!
Still feeling sick - week 9 was yucky, week 10 not so bad, and week 11 really grim again. I'm only 2 days into week 12 but feeling really bleurghy so far! I wonder how long my morning sickness will last this time? I just have to keep on top of eating, but I feel sick regardless. It's not too overwhelming though, like it was in the first couple of weeks. Not this week, at least! It does vary a little from week to week, rather unpredictably.
I hit my second trimester (yaaaaaaaaaaaay!!) yesterday!! I always start my second trimesters at 12 weeks because I use the developmental method of fetal development (and placental development, for that matter), rather than just getting the calculator out and diving 40 weeks by 3 (or the crazy ovulation method - dividing 38 weeks by 3 - that makes the first trimester over 14 weeks long!!). My little baby has all his/her organ systems in place as of 12 weeks, and is now "fine tuning" and growing! :) I am so happy to be in my second trimester - it's always nice to leave the first one behind, especially if I'm feeling sick!
I had my booking appointment with the midwife a couple of weeks ago which went really well. My blood pressure was 110/60, my urine was normal, and I had all the bloods taken, which have since come back normal.
I have been feeling the baby move from just before 10 weeks - just incredibly subtle tickly sensations under my pubic bone or just above it, so that I doubted myself at first. But during week 10 I was much more sure. I had the odd little "stroke" across or "flubble" feeling inside, in the right place. Sometimes there would be a little pressurey surge for a moment, and then it would give way again. So I knew I was feeling my baby! :) At 11 weeks, I had the first really serious baby movement. I was lying on my side breastfeeding Elijah at bedtime, and suddenly felt a quick "puh-doiiing" bounce inside. The "puh" was a sudden (very tiny and lightweight) tap to my cervix, followed within a second (very quick) by a rebound sensation on the top of my womb, about 2 inches above my pubic bone! My little teeny (5cm!) person had literally bounced off my cervix and rebounded off the other end of my womb! Boiiiing! :D I have felt lots of little teeny bumps, flicks and sweeps since then, and I'm LOVING it! I adore the stage of feeling movements, and look forward to hiccups and feeling little parts through my tummy, and so on!
I am showing a bit, though very high - maybe just pushed-up bloat?! I have taken a couple of belly pics so far (first one at 7 weeks) but haven't uploaded any yet - must get to that soon.
Today I went for my 12 week scan! I am only 12w1d, which is the earliest I have had this scan with my other pregnancies (Matthew was 12w2d) - they've otherwise been between 12w3d and 13w exactly. The baby measured 12w3d today though, same amount ahead as the last scan I had, so they've changed my due date to October 20th. I am still going with my original due date of the 22nd though, because well, I just am! It gives me 2 days longer to go into labour before they start harrassing me! ;)
Everything looked wonderful with the baby, and we declined the nuchal/combined test for Downs Syndrome as usual, because it wouldn't alter a thing for us re. the outcome of the pregnancy (ie. we would never. ever. ever. in a million years terminate a pregnancy) and we would joyfully embrace a child with Downs Syndrome anyway. So, no testing. They said that the baby measured 60mm from crown to rump (so weeny, and yet SO perfectly formed!) and all the various anatomy and other measurements were normal.
Because I'm only 12w1d, it's on the early side for the "angle of the dangle" nub theory to be accurate - the closer to 12 weeks, the less accurate, and the closer to 13 weeks, the more accurate. This is because before 12 weeks, all nubs look the same - flat and "girly", parallel to the spine. Boy nubs will start to angle upwards from the spine to varying degrees (Benjamin's was 90 degrees, lol! Samuel's was more like 30 degrees, and more subtle to be sure) somewhere between 12 and 13 weeks. Matthew, at 12w2d, had what looks to me from the picture to be quite a girly nub. It still looks parallel to the spine to me, though not quite flat.
I got dozens and dozens of "shots" of the nub this time. It was REALLY clear and easy to spot, and I saw it many times from lots of different angles during the scan, while the baby was moving, etc. It wasn't the wiggliest of babies at the scan, quite restful really, but got a bit annoyed and moved about quite a bit when they laid the bed flat and tilted my head down and my feet up (I felt yucky after a bit and asked to have it put back up again!) to get the baby in a better position. So I had a lot of chances to see the nub angle clearly. I also got 3 almost identical pictures, all of which clearly show the nub too! So clearly, that I am suddenly a bit shy of posting the pictures on Facebook yet, which is unusual of me.
If I was 3 or 4 days further along, I would ONE HUNDRED PERCENT be expecting to have a GIRL baby in October!! I honestly could not believe what I seeing at the scan. I kept seeing it flash into sight again, and in my head I was saying, "There it is again. It's flat. It's FLAT. There's no angle at ALL!" I have never seen a nub like this before on one of my own babies, but I still can't. believe that I will end up producing a baby girl. Seriously! I am totally unable to grasp that concept, so right now I am thinking, surely it's just too early and the nub is going to angle up? I double checked Nicola's latest 12 week scan pic when she was 11w6d (too early, but still only 2 days before my gestation) and her baby's nub was pretty much exactly like my baby's nub, except that she is having a boy! Soooo..... I don't dare think much more about it (which of course is like not daring to breathe any oxygen for the next couple of days) in case it's just too early. I will rejoice in another son, but I will set myself up for a hard time that is totally unnecessary if I am expecting to maybe see girly bits at the 20 week scan, if this nub is simply looking girly because of the slightly early gestation for calling this kind of thing. That said, here are the pictures - see what you think!
See? Girly nub! I have posted at in-gender about it with the pics (well, the 3rd wouldn't load) and people there are saying it looks girly but it's a bit on the early side to say for sure, like I thought. I will just somehow have to be patient and wait and see! ;) I really don't want to go telling people that it might be a girl, because I might be wrong, and having 6 boys already makes the whole world likely to be EXTREMELY sorrowful on my behalf if there was a smidge of a chance that this baby might be a girl and then it turns out not to be. And I don't want to go there, people! I seriously will be full of joy if it's a boy! Neil says the whole baby looks different to him, especially the head shape (?!), and the nub, obviously. We will probably plan a girl's name, because of the nub in this scan, but also plan for a boy as we always do. We haven't even looked at girl names in the past few pregnancies, lol!
Okay, it's really late and I MUST go to bed. I will TRY to update again soon, as I'm sure I have more to say if I wasn't so nauseated and late for bed! The weeks are whizzing by at a rather scary rate, so I'm sure I'll be 16 weeks or something the next time I blink! ;)
Monday, March 18, 2013
8 weeks, 6 days - ultrasound!
Sorry to take a few days to update on the ultrasound! I went for my early scan at 8w3d, and everything looks wonderful! :) I'm so happy and thankful! There is one sweet stumpy little baby in there - as I watched the baby on the monitor, I had such an urge to change the nickname to "Stumpy"! It seemed so fitting - such darling stumps for little legs and arms, and such a short "stump" of a little person in general, hehe! But Matthew chose Crispy - actually I have written it wrongly all this time, because he meant it like a Rice Krispie, so the spelling should be "Krispie" (cute little piece of cereal, as opposed to dried out 'n' crunchy, as in "crispy duck"!), and I love that. So Krispie it is! Stumpy, in my heart, as well though! :)
The baby measured 2 days ahead, so they have dated my pregnancy as 8w5d and told me to wait until my 12 week scan for confirmation of dates. I'll go with my original dates for now in any case. I will be 9 weeks pregnant tomorrow! I am glad for the nausea part to be passing quickly. I have found that if I COMPLETELY avoid any trace of onion, I have actually quite manageable morning sickness. Nausea all the time, but bearable for sure. Onion? Even in tomato ketchup or stock or gravy? Three days of misery, where I can't function properly. I'm so grateful there's something simple I can do to help myself, but I really really feel silly when I eat something without thinking and then have the sinking feeling knowing that the next few DAYS will be hard to get through. Hopefully I'm learning! ;)
The technician was really nice and gave me two pictures! They're pretty much the same, but see?! My Krispie little stump stretched out a tiny leg! I don't know that it's meant to be possible to do that yet, but it certainly looked like that's what was happening. Those teeny leggies aren't even fully developed yet! The baby's length from crown to rump was 2.1cm - awww!
I love the beautifully round amniotic sac around the baby (the fine white line) in the larger gestational sac (the black part). Such a perfect bubble! I am SO completely in love with this little baby all over again, and yet again sitting here marvelling at the fact that one can fall in love so deeply, equally for multiple multiple children. It never runs out, it just multplies, and it's a wonderful thing to experience.
I had some quite heavy spotting (not flow as such though) later after the scan, and the next day, but it has pretty much faded off now. I asked about the source, but she couldn't see any evidence of a bleed in there. Perhaps I'd had a small bleed and it had pretty much finished bleeding out, I don't know. Anyway she saw nothing to worry about, so that's reassuring. I asked what I should do if I continue to have bleeding or spotting and she said to call the Early Pregnancy Unit and ask the advice of the doctors there. They may check my scan and advise me over the phone, or they may ask me to come back for a re-scan. I hope I just don't have any further bleeding. That would be nice! :)
Well I have now been up and down to Elijah three times since starting this post, and it's getting really late now. I don't know if it's the fact that he had beans for lunch today for the first time, and thus has some wind, or the fact that he cut his 5th tooth yesterday... Anyway he's wakeful! So I had better go and snuggle up next to him and try to get some sleep! Just had to update, because I really should have days ago - sorry!
Will try to update soon! :)
The baby measured 2 days ahead, so they have dated my pregnancy as 8w5d and told me to wait until my 12 week scan for confirmation of dates. I'll go with my original dates for now in any case. I will be 9 weeks pregnant tomorrow! I am glad for the nausea part to be passing quickly. I have found that if I COMPLETELY avoid any trace of onion, I have actually quite manageable morning sickness. Nausea all the time, but bearable for sure. Onion? Even in tomato ketchup or stock or gravy? Three days of misery, where I can't function properly. I'm so grateful there's something simple I can do to help myself, but I really really feel silly when I eat something without thinking and then have the sinking feeling knowing that the next few DAYS will be hard to get through. Hopefully I'm learning! ;)
The technician was really nice and gave me two pictures! They're pretty much the same, but see?! My Krispie little stump stretched out a tiny leg! I don't know that it's meant to be possible to do that yet, but it certainly looked like that's what was happening. Those teeny leggies aren't even fully developed yet! The baby's length from crown to rump was 2.1cm - awww!
I love the beautifully round amniotic sac around the baby (the fine white line) in the larger gestational sac (the black part). Such a perfect bubble! I am SO completely in love with this little baby all over again, and yet again sitting here marvelling at the fact that one can fall in love so deeply, equally for multiple multiple children. It never runs out, it just multplies, and it's a wonderful thing to experience.
I had some quite heavy spotting (not flow as such though) later after the scan, and the next day, but it has pretty much faded off now. I asked about the source, but she couldn't see any evidence of a bleed in there. Perhaps I'd had a small bleed and it had pretty much finished bleeding out, I don't know. Anyway she saw nothing to worry about, so that's reassuring. I asked what I should do if I continue to have bleeding or spotting and she said to call the Early Pregnancy Unit and ask the advice of the doctors there. They may check my scan and advise me over the phone, or they may ask me to come back for a re-scan. I hope I just don't have any further bleeding. That would be nice! :)
Well I have now been up and down to Elijah three times since starting this post, and it's getting really late now. I don't know if it's the fact that he had beans for lunch today for the first time, and thus has some wind, or the fact that he cut his 5th tooth yesterday... Anyway he's wakeful! So I had better go and snuggle up next to him and try to get some sleep! Just had to update, because I really should have days ago - sorry!
Will try to update soon! :)
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