Baby blessings...

It's New Year's Eve! Only 14 minutes to go till midnight, actually! :) I just wrote my Facebook update and it got me thinking and feeling thankful.

I was reminded afresh how very very blessed I am - how incredibly generous and kind God has been to me. He has opened my womb four times in four years! I think He's wonderful! :)

We started trying for our first baby in 2003. It took 9 cycles and that's not really long but it felt like forever at the time, not knowing why it wasn't "working" or when it might. Or not. But, looking back, I know it wasn't long at all, when it comes to trying for a baby. So, no pregnancy in 2003. Praise God that He did open my womb and enable us to conceive! In February 2004, Arthur was conceived. He was born in November, so my whole pregnancy fitted into 2004.

Then in September 2005, Matthew was conceived. Arthur was 10 months old. Matthew was born in June 2006, 19 months after his brother. The rest of 2006 was difficult for me - the adjustment, I think, and the hormones. I didn't cope too well, and I think it was mild postnatal depression. Thankfully it lifted when I ovulated for the first time over Christmas 2006 - hooray! :)

Nathan was conceived in May 2007, just a few days after my brother became a Daddy for the first time. I remember holding Thea, at just a few days old, and thinking, "Awww!" My heart went mushy! Matthew was 11 months old and she seemed soooo tiny compared with my own little ones! Well, I ovulated a few days later, and that's when Nathan came to be! :) Nathan's pregnancy was scary in parts because I had torrentially heavy bleeding at 11 weeks, and lots of lighter bleeding throughout the first and early-second trimesters. But PRAISE GOD!! He survived and was born, albeit 5 weeks early, perfectly healthy in January 2008.

Nathey was 9 months old in October that same year, when Benjamin was conceived. We did not plan and try that time, having decided after Nathan to let God control when (and how many!) our babies were conceived. Sweet baby boy number 4, Benjamin, was born in July 2009 and is now nearly 6 months old.

So, to recap:

2004 - Pregnant with Arthur! Arthur born.
2005 - Pregnant with Matthew!
2006 - Matthew born.
2007 - Pregnant with Nathan!
2008 - Nathan born, and pregnant with Benjamin!
2009 - Benjamin born.

Wow. How God has blessed us! I'm so joyfully in awe of His goodness to me! I pray and pray that He will enable and equip me to nurture and mother my little ones enough - I don't want to fall short, with so many to care for. I want to do the very best I can for my children! I want to be a GOOD steward of my blessings so that God will consider blessing us again and again!

So now I have taken a short break to watch Big Ben bonging the New Year in, on TV! :) Happy New Year! It's 2010!! :)

I am excited about 2010! The BEST part is giving everything to God and having NO IDEA what will happen. We are not in control. We relinquished it to God. That's EXCITING!!! :D I am wondering if God will bless us again with a baby this year. I know that sounds a bit crazy since I feel like I've just had one, but so far I have either been pregnant or had a new baby every year, so I wonder what 2010 will bring! Maybe no babies? Perhaps God's plan for our family is four little boys close together and that is all? God chooses when to close my womb, and I just pray that He will not close it yet! I love having my babies and seeing my little ones grow and develop.

I just want to say here that I don't set my babies aside in my heart or my thoughts or my energies when I think ahead to more babies. I know people have said in the past to enjoy the ones I've got rather than looking ahead hoping for more. Well, I do both! :) I eagerly hope for more, because it's such a precious blessing. But it doesn't take a thing away from enjoying my little ones and soaking up every smile and cute chipmunky new word, every hurty finger kissed and sleepy head nuzzled on my shoulder. The less rose-tinted aspects (!) are harder to see the joy in, like ennnndless discipline over issues that seem like they'll never change, ever! Or night wakings every night for 5 years. Except that last one I am actually warming to. My little ones are just as precious and snuggly at night, sometimes more so than usual! And I love co-sleeping and breastfeeding at night.

So, being eager and excited for more babies, if God chooses to bless us that way, does not detract from my attention towards my children. Just to say! :)

Well I am currently on Cycle Day 58 or something!!!! I have never had a cycle like this in my life before - and spotting a couple of weeks ago too! Weirdness. Still getting occasional signs that I might be ovulating, but it comes to nothing, it seems. Right now I have no fertile signs, and I feel crampy today and a bit hormonal, so I wonder if my period will come soon. I have had times throughout my cycle so far where I've felt crampy though, so who knows! I guess one way or another my period will show up in the end. It's just strange for me to have a cycle this long, but then I did start my periods much earlier than usual postpartum. Maybe this one is just a bit wacky for that reason?

I STILL plan to hurry up and write Benjamin's birth story, but in the run-up to Christmas and New Year I haven't had chance to sit down and write any of it. Hopefully soon! :) Thanks to Melanie and Nicola for commenting! I know I'm not pregnant or with a brand new baby, so it's not exactly an exciting read here at the moment, and I really appreciate the comments! ;)