Ohhh I feel bad for the long gap AGAIN! :S I don't like to have big gaps in my records of how my pregnancies go, but my last two updates were at 15 weeks and 12 weeks! Whoops. If you haven't seen it yet, Benjamin's birth story is finally finished and posted in the entry before this one - hooray! :) It took me AGES and it's crazy long, but I was so pleased to finish it and post it on his first birthday! Thank you for the sweet comments about it - I appreciated every single one! I sent it to Heather (my doula) the same day and told her to plan a reading week for it (she's SO busy all the time!), but she emailed me back that evening and said she had read it in one go, cried over several parts, and shooed her teenagers away several times as she was too engrossed in the story to be disturbed! ;) I love Heather!
THANK YOU Annie for pointing out that I had put my surname in it when I wrote Benjamin's full name! Yes, it was a mistake! I don't like that stuff out there in the World Wide Web for all to see! I have edited it now :)
One other thing to mention from the comments is that Beckstar left me a sweet comment about my birth story and then said she thinks the baby is a _____ (and said his actual NAME! Which we've told nobody - well, except Meg a while back!), and that it sounded like the right name choice!!! I was so flabbergasted, I thought, "How on earth does she know his name?!" and started doing searches through this blog and my diaryland one to see if I've ever mentioned liking that name! But I haven't, ever. So I am wondering, if you're reading B, how did you know his name?! It's an amazing guess if that's all it was! I wanted to mention the comment here because in the end I chose to delete it, and I didn't want B to take any offense at that. There was no blog or email for me to contact, though I did look for that first (and would have got in touch if I could have!). I am not ready to reveal the name we've chosen until we have had the scan, which is what I usually do at my blog, and there are a couple more weeks yet! ;) A couple of people may have seen her comment, I know, but hopefully not many!
I am totally presuming the baby is a boy. Not thinking about a girl in there at ALL. We have not chosen a girl's name, and I am not looking at them either. Tonight Neil was wondering about this or that for a girl, and I just told him I did not want to think about girls' names at all, unless we find out it IS a girl! Now, I LOVE browsing through baby names, picking my favourites, making shortlists, and imagining my baby with this or that name, and so on. But I just do NOT want to this time. I am SO sure this baby is a boy, that I am not interested in girls' names whatsoever. Rest assured that I will be EXTREMELY interested the moment they tell me "it's a girl", if I should somehow ever hear those words, hehe! But I'm happy to wait to be proven wrong at a scan before I bother looking into anything girl-related. There's plenty of time between the scan and the birth to plan that stuff if necessary.
BOY names, daydreams, thoughts, plans, and clothing considerations are in full swing however! ;) I refer to my baby as ______ (the name we've chosen) constantly. I know I'll feel daft if it turns out not to be a boy, but like I say, I feel that it's so unlikely that I'm happy to risk feeling daft and having a story to tell my daughter one day! ;) I LOVE his name. We have known the first and middle name since 5 weeks pregnant, and we both love it completely. Arthur is starting to ask what we might call the baby, and I am LONGING to tell him the name, but our children are too little to keep it secret from real life friends (and family - still haven't decided when/if we'll tell them yet, after last time) for the duration of my pregnancy. So I know we'll have to NOT tell them right up to the birth, urgh! I so want to include them, and I know they'll want to be included as we prepare for his arrival! :( But I really really really don't want real life friends to know until we announce the birth. Arthur did know Benjamin's name before he was born, and we didn't have much contact with people in the last couple of months before he was born so I guess there wasn't too much opportunity for the secret to be spilled, but one time at church, someone did ask ARTHUR directly what the baby's name was!!!! I couldn't believe it! They knew we weren't telling! Arthur was about to answer him (innocently) when I interrupted and distracted Arthur with something to do elsewhere! So I think it will be easier to just not tell anyone (other than my blog!) until the birth.
That said, if B DID guess it was a very very good one, and it made me think - I am open to guesses if anyone else has one! If you saw her comment before I deleted it, don't cheat! ;) I won't be telling the answer of course, but I'm interested in what people might guess at! Clues: 1) We love the meaning. 2) It's a Bible name. 3) It goes nicely with our other boys' names. 4) It starts with a letter that we haven't used yet for the other boys' names. I'll tell you what it is in exactly 2 weeks (the 28th!), even if we do somehow end up having a baby girl! ;)
I can't believe there are only TWO WEEKS to go until my scan! I'm starting to feel so excited and eager about it! I can't wait to see my little one, and in more detail. I am increasingly nervous about whether he is healthy - I think I am more so each pregnancy for some reason. I hope he is okay... I am eager to get confirmation on the gender, SO eager, because then I can stop with the suspense and the what-ifs and just get on with bonding with him by name without hesitation, and planning FOR SURE the clothes that I want to set aside or not set aside, from the clothes we already have. I don't want to get all heavy duty about sorting clothes and things until I'm SURE the baby will be using them, but I can't wait to do that kind of thing so I'm eager to know! :) I want to be able to use his name here to refer to him all the time, and I'm excited to see it in print here in reference to my little one, and use it on the title to his belly gallery and ultrasound gallery, etc! :) Just little things really. I also find that increasingly (with each pregnancy) I seem to fall more in love with the baby watching the scan than the previous time. I always do love them and bond at the scans, but it really does seem to be more intense and precious each new baby for some reason :) So I can't wait to see him and love on him!
Tomorrow I have my consultant appointment at the hospital - the one to do with being "high risk" now that I am having my 5th baby (and previous Group B Strep). FUN TIMES! ;) I am so very glad that Heather is going with me. Neil will be at home of course, with the boys. We rarely do any pregnancy/baby-related things together anymore because of the childcare issues with lots of little ones, which I find a bit sad :( But never mind. I have my doula, and Neil isn't.... doesn't naturally DO pregnancy, you know? He doesn't bond, connect or take much interest until about 37 weeks (he named that gestation with Arthur as the time it really became real to him) but I'm not sure if he even did before the baby was born the last couple of pregnancies. So it's not a big deal to him, and I have Heather to accompany me and don't have to worry about the boys with a babysitter, etc, so it's okay. I do insist on Neil being with me at the scans though! He does suggest that he might as well stay at home with the boys, even for scans, but I get sort of upset about that, so we figure something out. He seems excited and interested at the actual scans, watching the baby, but he is thinking more of the children and their needs really, that's why he suggests not going and for me to tell him about it afterwards! I am NOT happy to do that, so we figure things out. At the 12 week scan we took the little ones (except Arthur was at his half-term kids' club), but I DON'T want to do that for the Anomoly Scan, in case something is wrong, and because when we find out who our little one is (boy or girl), I don't want either of us to be distracted away from the baby as we discover that precious news. I also want us to be able to find out FIRST and tell the boys a bit later. It's special, just for us. So Neil has to be there!
I think our friend from church, Sarah, who watched the boys at our home when we had the 20 week scan with Benjamin, is able to watch them again this time! She said she thinks it will be fine but she has to check her calendar and get back to me to be sure. I so hope she can! That will be such a weight off. We always take the current baby with us, as I don't like to leave tiny ones with anyone except me or Neil. The older three will stay home with Sarah though. I really hope she can do it!
Well let's see.... there must be a TON of news to write about?!
I have woefully neglected my belly gallery this pregnancy! :( I missed 14 weeks AND 16 weeks! The last photo in there is 11 weeks (supposed to be 10 weeks but I was late!) - very naughty of me! I just keep forgetting or else I remember but then the evening is so FULL of things I need to do, it falls out of my head before I get around to doing the belly picture and then I go to bed and another day has gone. It happens every day. Every day! Today while the boys were out at the park with Neil, I was busily decluttering and cleaning (NESTING has begun in the last few days! Yay! Boy does my house need it!) when I came across my camera, and that jogged my memory so I set the timer on it RIGHT AWAY and took an 18 week belly picture! So glad to have one done at last. I don't know how it compares with my other pregnancies at 18 weeks yet because I haven't put it up on the computer to look at yet. I have a definite baby bump, which seems to me identical to all my other baby bumps that I've ever had (BOY! lol!) - so far low and out the front and round like a little ball. Boy boy boy! ;)
The top of my uterus comes up to 2 fingerwidths below my tummy button, pretty much spot on for 18 weeks - at 20 weeks it's supposed to be at the tummy button. I love my womb! It's round and protrudes and I HEART putting my hands on it all the time, just feeling joyful that it's there and growing and so very familiar to me now, and full of sweet baby!
I am finally feeling the baby move more consistently and strongly, but only in the last 4 or 5 days or so - really late for me! I think it was similar with Benjamin, but now I am starting to wonder about something. I have heard (from pregnancy forums online) that "fluffier" ladies (annoying term, but they basically mean those carrying more weight and I guess with a thicker layer between the baby and the outside air therefore!) feel their babies move later, due to the larger amount of fat tissue. Well, maybe that applies to me? I have always been very very little and slim in build, but haven't quite lost my baby weight between each pregnancy, so am gradually accumulating over the various pregnancies! ;) Before Arthur I weighed 7 stone 10lbs. Before Benjamin I weighed 9 stone, I think? Or more? I think 9 stone. Before THIS baby I weighed a lb or so under 10 stone. So I wonder if it's the extra fat that is the reason I am feeling my babies move later and later now? I DO still feel them move initially very early though, it's just the strength and consistency isn't felt until 16 or 17 weeks these last two times. Or maybe it's just those particular babies? If Matthew could kick my hip at 17 weeks and shift my butt on the chair I was sitting on, SURELY I would have felt that similarly whatever I weighed?!
Up until last week I was only feeling a little light pop or flick from this baby maybe once or twice a WEEK, and only one individual pop or two each time. Now I am feeling several movements per day, and they are much stronger. I read that between 17 weeks and 20 weeks, a baby will double in size!!! Or weight? I can't remember exactly. But, huuuuge growth spurt in those 3 weeks, which I am now in. So maybe that accounts for it?! ;) The baby really does seem bigger to me this week. If he is lying across my bump and up at the front (so that I can actually feel him there with my hand), he FILLS the width of my womb. I was surprised that the length of his back/head pushed out against my tummy was a full stretched handspan (from hip to hip - he was lying transverse at the time) when I "measured"! Getting so big in there! Babycenter.com does say that the baby is now 6 inches from head to bottom, so that's about right. He's only about half a lb in weight so far - so light and tiny still!
I am (crazily!!!) STILL able to lie on my tummy in bed! I was saying at 15 weeks how crazy it was that I was doing that, as I was SURE I had to stop doing that weeks before in my other pregnancies, but here I am at 18 weeks STILL doing it! It's getting less comfy, but it's not uncomfy at all. I am getting a bit anxious about the pressure breaking my waters or something scary like that - I have no idea how unlikely that really is, but it makes me nervous! I don't want anything to happen to my sweet tiny - I love him so much already! So I am trying not to lie on my tummy, but I still can quite comfortably. The baby IS starting to kick at the mattress a bit when I do though! ;) None of the movements are particularly vigorous and "high-energy" like some of my others (particularly the first two!). I'm sure that will come later, but for now this baby seems pretty laid back, like Benjamin was. Just today and yesterday, he sometimes does little pop-like kicks rhythmically, and I stop in my tracks and hold my breath to see if they're his Very First Hiccups (well, that I've noticed anyway!) but they don't last more than about 7 or 8 in a row, so I think they can't be hiccups. I don't think they're fast enough for hiccups either. I can't wait to feel hiccups! I so love being pregnant! :)
I have also managed to feel one of the slightly stronger kicks for the first time with my hand! :) LOVE that! Most of them I can't feel even with my hands on my tummy trying to feel them, but some I can. Oh I love this baby most-likely-boy! :)
Food... I am STILL nauseated!!!! A record for me, finally. It's more on-and-off than it used to be, and much milder, but I am still queasy most days, and today I was proper nauseous, enough to find drinking fluids a bit gaggy and the idea of food prep yucky! Arthur was my latest before now - his was all gone at the 18 week mark, so I am just past that now. I still maintain that it's clearing up (as I have been saying for at least 5 weeks now, lol!) but at least it's mild while it lasts. I hope it goes completely soon. It isn't stopping me eating or enjoying food though, for the most part, which I'm thankful for. I still want fruit, vegetables and fresh stuff the most, but I have no particular food cravings or strong likes or dislikes. Except salty stuff, I am still not fond of that. I did try a plain crisp again at the beach on Saturday, but it was like tasting the SEA WATER - ugh! So, still off crisps and salted foods. Yick. Still eating eggs and salmon (had both today in fact!) but not as intensely as before, and don't usually feel particularly like I want or need to eat them. I like white bread (and lots of it) if I am not nauseous. If I am nauseous it makes me feel worse afterwards with the after taste. I AM eating some sweet foods, but I'm not interested in chocolate or anything super sweet like that (thankfully!. I'm trying to avoid all the stuff I was pigging out on by now in my other pregnancies (chocolate, sweets, cookies and doughnuts!) - well, we did just have two birthdays so that means 2x large "family sized" homemade chocolate cakes, so I have been enjoying those! ;) But otherwise nothing else.
I still haven't started doing the prenatal exercise DVD I bought, but that's mostly to do with the fact that we don't have anything to play it on that isn't in the kitchen, where there is someone at ALL hours of the day and evening, and no space to actually work out. Frustrating! Not sure what to do about that, but I'll think on it some more.
Well, as always I'm sure there's much more, but my head is fuzzy suddenly and I've just looked at the time, and YIKES I should have been in bed ages ago! I need to upload my belly picture to the gallery but I have no time left to do that tonight. I'll try to do it tomorrow if I have time after school prep and Bible (I started the Bible in 90 Days challenge again! Yay! I'm on Day 10 so far, and that's taking more of my evening time, but WORTH IT!!!). I also want to update about my consultant appointment when I can. I'll probably post quickly on that at Facebook though, and update here in more detail later. Heather said she has been with clients to consultant appointments twice in the last month and both times they had to wait over an hour, so she said to bring a good book! I don't know a better one than the Bible, so I will take my Bible in 90 Days Bible and try to get my day's reading done! I would rather talk to Heather though, but she's taking her knitting and if we end up with a LONG wait, we'll probably need something to do in the end!
Okay, I will be back SOON! :)
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