[It seems that Cutest Blog on the Blog is having a bit of trouble this week - so my background may not be loading right now, or if it does then VERY slowly. Should be okay by next week. I have changed the code as they suggested, but it's slow loading so far...]
Some exciting milestones coming up!! In 4 more days I will be 20 weeks pregnant, and thus exactly halfway through my pregnancy!! I just can't believe that's possible, it is just going sooooo fast! Then just 2 days later I will have my SCAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!! I'm getting so excited to see my little Cornflakey person, and to find out (oh I hope Cornflake lets us see!) whether it's a boy or a girl (or "a boy or a boy" as I once said earlier in my pregnancy, haha!). I mean, it's sooooo going to be a boy, but that's fine with me. I am just excited to KNOW, and to plan and prepare and start using his name, and all that fun stuff! :) I can't WAIT!! Sarah (our friend from church who watched the boys for Benjamin's big scan) IS able to watch the three older boys this time - yaaaay! So relieved! So we'll take Benjamin and be able to relax and enjoy the scan hopefully, while the boys play train tracks and whatnot at home with Sarah! I'm so glad she is able to help us!
I did go back to InGender.com and check the nub galleries for boy nubs and girl nubs a couple of days ago, just because I wanted to quell any wonderings about whether this baby's nub MIGHT possibly be a girlie one. So funny how even when I am as sure as I can be at the time (back at 12 weeks), give it another month or so and the memory fades enough for some wonderings to come to the surface! ;) So, I went back and looked. Weirdly, looking at the gallery pictures this time, I feel way more confused about nub angles than last time I looked! I felt really "tuned" to what I was seeing (on anyone's nub picture) and found it easy to get them right, but this time I am seeing a ton of boy nubs which looked exactly like girl nubs to me at the 12 week scan, and then a load of girl nubs which looked more like boy nubs at the 12 week scan! They're the SAME pictures that I looked at 7 weeks ago! I guess my "eye" for it has gone! ;)
I think Cornflake IS a boy, and that his nub IS boyish, even though he is sitting up rather than lying flat like they want to see for a good nub shot (the ladies at InGender told me that if he was lying flat, his nub would be at a lower angle so one or two gave me a 50/50 prediction and then a couple more gave a girl prediction). But I am concluding that an absolutely SURE nub shot is the type that I had with Benjamin last time - one that is 90 degrees to the body (or near enough) is without a shadow of a doubt, a boy! ;) Anything less obvious is up for debate, even though an angle seems to be more likely to be a boy nub. There were plenty of FLAT nubs on that boy gallery - and I remembered that Matthew's nub (before I had any knowledge of nubs, thankfully!) at 12 weeks and 2 days was absolutely classic for a girl. I still get the ultrasound pics out and squint at them, and there is absolutely no way his nub would have had ANY boy votes at InGender, even where they know what they're talking about, lol! So it does seem like there's a risk of getting it wrong, UNLESS it's a HIGH angle like Benjamin's was.
I'd love to be surprised one of these days at a scan and find out we're having a girl for the first time, but I strongly doubt that it will be the one next week! ;) I don't think his nub is conclusively a BOY nub as Benjamin's was, but I think it looks much more likely than a girl nub for sure. So therefore, a boy baby! I am waiting for confirmation of that (and expecting it) on Wednesday. Sometimes I wish I didn't see those nubs so clearly though, so that I have NO CLUE until the big scan! On the other hand, it's good to have a heads-up that it's another boy these last two pregnancies. I don't bother with girl names or plans that way, and given that I DO keep producing boys, that seems the healthier route! ;) I don't like to start on the "hoping for a girl" thought pattern, because it gets in the way of my enjoyment of my pregnancy, and delight over the BOY I'm carrying, when I discover that's who he is! :)
My laptop is ever so poorly! :( Tomorrow it is being TAKEN AWAY (Lappy!!!) and I am not sure I will see it again! We can't afford a replacement, obviously, but we've paid a monthly amount for YEARS on the upkeep of this one, and they're supposed to replace it if it's unfixable. I am paranoid though, and feel like they're going to find some loophole or clause which says they can't replace it because of such and such that's wrong with it. It has a big crack down the screen (the bit inside, not the actual touchable screen) which has leaked technical goop (!!) everywhere inside the screen, and has various other issues about the graphics being weird or not there, and so on. The crack is recent, and finally pushing us into sending it off to be fixed!
Anyway, I am not sure if it will be back for the scan, or if it'll be back at ALL! And I have all my camera software on the laptop, not the main computer. I will probably have to upload it to the antique and slow computer that Neil uses during the day and evening, but I am not sure where I've put the software! :S Anyway, my point is, I am really hoping I will be able to get scan pictures up on the day of my scan, but I am not sure if I will be able to (technically speaking) when it comes to it. I will be able to update though, via the other computer, when Neil isn't using it. We have backed up the whole hard drive onto an external one though, so everything is saved.
Thanks for all the lovely comments on my last entry! :) I am excited to see so many of you placing your guess for the baby's name! So much fun to read your guesses!! :) I can't tell you if anyone guessed right! ;) But you'll find out on Wednesday anyway. Any more guesses before then?
My consultant appointment was last week, and it went surprisingly well!! I was glad Heather was with me, and she has been to several consultant appointments with clients in the last month, so it was good that she could give me advanced warning that the wait would be long. Unfortunately I left the house in a hurry without parking money OR a book to read! Tsk! Heather kindly paid for our parking (I gave her a lift as she doesn't drive) and then even the long wait was fine because we got to chat and weren't stressing about how much longer it was going to take, since we were prepared for the long-haul! ;) I can't remember how long it was - over an hour I think... maybe an hour and a half, I don't know. It whizzed by, chatting to Heather! I really enjoy her company and could chat to her for hours! :)
I saw my actual consultant, not the registrar, because when I checked in, Heather told me to insist on seeing him, so I did! I probably would have been seen sooner if I'd seen the registrar, but I wanted to see the consultant. First I went in with the nurse and she surprised me so much. I was all prepared to have to "fight my corner" and not be put off by negative vibes about having this many children and the GBS as well. But she took me into the examination room and had me sit on the bed. Then she got my notes out and I sat watching her. She opened to the obstetric history page and counted out loud with her finger tapping each boy's birth details, "One, two, three, four... This is your fifth baby?" I said yes. Still not looking up, she asked, "And you want a homebirth?" I felt a bit self-conscious but tried to sound confident saying, "Yes." She said, "Last baby was a homebirth?" and I said, "Yes" again. She looked up at me and flipped the notes closed, and said, "So what's the problem?" I had no words for an answer at all, haha! I soooo did not expect anyone to have that kind of response at the clinic! I think I just mumbled something about it being a good question, or something like that! She was so nice, and very cheerful about it. She checked my urine (fine), took my blood pressure (100/60, my usual reading), and then told me the consultant would be through in a minute, and I should just see what he has to say, but she didn't see why there should be a problem having a homebirth. I was not actually going in there to "fight" for a homebirth as such, in fact I am still open to having the baby in hospital, but I am definitely leaning towards preferring a homebirth as before. I don't tend to make my mind up until later in the pregnancy, but I always prefer the idea of a homebirth. It's just so much more practical and straightforward, and EASY for me, and the stress of childcare isn't there (compared with having to go into hospital - sooooo stressful thinking about WHO can stay with the boys, who is WILLING to stay with the boys, HOW will the boys react to us being away from them to have a baby, MISSING them like crazy while I'm away, etc. I can't stand that part of hospital births!). I just wanted to have my options still OPEN and not whisked away because of having 5 babies or whatever.
So the consultant came through and he was soooooooo nice! The nicest and most approachable and friendly consultant I have ever seen! He talked with me about the risks of having a 5th baby vaginally, and said that the only slight risk is that of post-partum haemmorhage, and that is a very small risk. He said that he did not see a reason for me not to have a homebirth. He said if I was having a hospital birth they would probably want to put up a syntocinon drip for the 3rd stage, just to be in control of it from start to finish, but that if I was at home and I started to bleed too heavily, the midwife would give me the syntocinon injection that they use for managed 3rd stages anyway. If it still didn't slow down, they would call for an ambulance. He did not seem concerned, and then Heather said to him that I birth very quickly and efficiently, and that she had been present at the last birth so could confirm it! :) He told me that this reduced my risk even more, and told me that if my labour became prolonged or my body seemed excessively tired by the process, that would increase my risk a little. He said from what Heather had told him, he did not see that happening for me. He said that 4th and 5th babies tend to be born quickly and efficiently, without issues, and he was pleased to hear that this was the case for me with my 4th. He told me he expected to hear about my fast and straightforward birth in the New Year! :) Very encouraging!
Then we briefly discussed the Group B Strep. Obviously they're ASSUMING that I am positive for it again, because it is more likely that I am, since I have been before. But it does not mean I am! I will get tested at 36/37 weeks like last time and find out for sure. The consultant briefly went over the risks associated with GBS again, and was very gracious to me and not remotely condescending. He said that he knew I would have done my research last time so he didn't need to go over all that again with me, and it would be a personal decision for me to make again this time. He asked if I was happy with that (I am). I still haven't decided, as I told him, but I will be praying about it and I think I am more likely to end up choosing to decline antibiotics and have a homebirth again, and watch the baby carefully afterwards. I told him this, and he nodded and said that the fact that Benjamin had no issues with me being GBS + and having no antibiotics actually lowers the risk for this baby, and he reminded me that the risk to the baby is TINY and does not expect there to be any problems if I go that route. I will still take things as they come though. If my waters break before labour begins or something, then I will likely go in an have the antibiotics. Will be praying that they DON'T though! ;)
Soooo that went GREAT! I came out just feeling so high and happy, because it was the last thing I expected! The consultant gave me the go-ahead for a homebirth if I wanted one, though he said if I develop any further complications later in the pregnancy I will need to go back and discuss those with him (he gave the example of the baby being breech). My own personal doula has actually started a turn of events at my local hospital (it's a BIG hospital too!) which has ended up with midwives going on a study day called "A Day at the Breech" or something like that, and vaginal breech deliveries are now happening as more of a norm at the hospital as a result!!!! FABULOUS!!! She won't take credit because she says it was a series of events and other people were involved, blah blah, but SHE started it all off with a client who had a breech baby and was not about to have a c-section for it! They did a lot of research and put in a lot of work meeting with people at the hospital and being assertive at the birth, and they were careful in monitoring the labour and birth, but she had her successful breech birth, and Heather took it further with the hospital after her client, contacting the people who run "A Day at the Breech" and setting up the opening for the training day! GOOD FOR HER!!! I hope that if I do have a breech baby I will be able to give birth naturally. I do NOT think a breech baby is a reason for surgery! Neil was a natural breech birth! :)
Anyway, got off track there! ;) So I am really pleased about that!
Let's see, what update is there about my little person and my general pregnant state? The baby has been having a growth spurt these last couple of weeks. I can't remember if I said in the last entry, but Babycentre's email said that from 17-20 weeks, there is a huuuuuge growth spurt. The baby more than doubles its weight in that time! Yikes! And goes from about 13cm long (head to bottom) to 16.5cm!
Soooo just before 19 weeks I became absolutely EXHAUSTED, just physically. I don't know why it wasn't so intense sooner, but I knew that baby was doing some serious growing by 19 weeks, I can tell you! I have ended up sleeping nearly all morning most mornings this week (wonderful Neil!!), and STILL wake up at the end of Benjamin's morning nap feeling like I haven't had enough sleep and just soooo tired out. I have trouble staying awake in the afternoons, and just yawn and yawn my way through the evenings. I don't feel sleepy, like sleep deprived. Just physically exhausted like I have been out doing strenuous stuff all day long in fresh air. Not unwell in any way, just TIRED! I also notice a bigger appetite this week, some of the time - notably in the evenings, which I didn't have before. I *think* my morning sickness MIGHT be finally gone...! I keep saying that, hehe! Truthfully, I'm not sure yet, I have only had a couple of days again without feeling nauseous, and I guess I did have a little mild queasiness yesterday... Anyway, hopefully it's GONE now. It has lasted the longest of all my pregnancies! At least it's very mild and manageable, and I am eating normally. It's just a bit of a yucky nuisance, that's all really.
This week for the first time I am noticing I really would like to eat a load of sweet stuff during the evening. This is where I think I have started to pig out on said stuff, from this point onwards in my previous pregnancies! ;) The urge is so strong! But I am fighting it at the moment. I have always just given in and enjoyed it before, but I am going to try not to this time. I also MUST find a way to do the prenatal exercise DVD at least a couple of times a week! It's driving me crazy that I can't because we have no set-up to allow me to do so! Oh well. Hopefully I will still figure something out and get chance to do that. I never exercised in my pregnancies before (or afterwards - how terrible!), and I really want to change that this time.
I have had my first mini craving this week! Strawberry ANYTHING, except for actual strawberries, lol! I don't mind strawberries, but what I am craving is strawberry flavoured sweet things, like strawberry ice-cream, strawberry sweets (chewits and those strawberries and cream boiled sweets), strawberry mousse - basically anything pink and with a creamy or chewy aspect to it, that's what I am craving! I have never had a craving quite like it, but at least it's not overwhelmingly strong. And I have not fed that craving AT ALL so far. I just want the stuff! I am not eating it. Chewits are probably the thing I want most out of all the above. Maybe strawberry yoghurt will suffice? I can't say it's something I want to run out and buy in the middle of the night, but I think I will get some - it's good for me too! :)
I have a few "girl" cravings that I don't think I've had before, but I am seeing them as the opportunity to prove that you can have girl cravings and still produce a boy! ;) Fruits and sweeties are the main things. Still off salty things, and not particularly drawn to chocolate (though I am not OFF it, hehe!) unlike the other pregnancies. There's plenty of time for that to change though! ;)
I know the tiny one has had a growth spurt now, because just YESTERDAY I was suddenly a different size and shape! I look properly pregnant now and fill out my maternity clothes properly too. I wore a maternity dress yesterday evening and was surprised at how big I looked in it when I looked in the mirror! I did not expect to see what I saw, because I did not look like that just a couple of days before! In the space of 5 days, the top of my womb has gone from 2 fingerwidths below my tummy button to 1 fingerwidth below it yesterday morning. And today (I kid you not) it is AT my tummy button. My bump is visible growing widthways and outwards too, just this week! No wonder I have been feeling tired!
The kicks I am getting are becoming much stronger in the past week or so, and not just to do with the strength of them - often it's more to do with the fact that the baby's limbs seem so much BIGGER suddenly. They pack a bigger punch! ;) They are still not as hefty as Matthew's kicks, but then I have yet to hear of a baby who was quite so active or strong in utero as Matthew in the first half of pregnancy, lol! I think Benjamin was very similar to this baby as far as movement goes, so far. I am now feeling kicks and movements when I'm upright or walking about, not just when I am lying flat or reclining. It's laughable to me that I was lying on my tummy just a week or two ago! I'm sort of like a plank on a ball if I try that now, hahaha! It's soooo different, just in such a short space of time. My centre of balance is different since the day before yesterday. I will be standing on the stairs, and lift my foot to take the next step up, and out of nowhere, for no reason whatsoever, start flailing my limbs about trying to prevent myself falling sideways! ;) I went up the ladder into the loft yesterday - tsk tsk, so naughty! I know. I won't be doing that any more :( But I was sooooo overcome with the urge to sort and clear up there! I have never done that since we've lived here (nearly 9 years!), but I feel desperate to now. I did clear and throw out FIVE boxfuls of stuff though, which feels wonderful! :D
Oh and I am also waddling, as of today! ;) I am having to walk with a slightly different posture today, without really thinking about it, just to balance out the bump, and I was waddling to the kitchen to get something this afternoon when it hit me that I was waddling! Hehe! So, here comes the second half of pregnancy and all the precious joys that go with it! I love the waddling and even the stretch marks - it's all evidence of such a precious blessing and I would never want to wish it away. It will be over before I can blink anyway, and oh how I'll miss the gift of being pregnant when I can no longer have children, and wish that I could experience it again for just one more moment. My stretch marks will be a permanent reminder that I know I will be grateful to look upon one day (not that I actually mind looking upon them even now!). I am LOVING this stage of my life, and so incredibly thankful. And praying praying PRAYING that there will still be more babies to come! :)
I think that is all! Oh wait - from 20 weeks the baby's length will be from head to foot and not head to bottom, and at 20 weeks it says the baby is over 10 inches long!!! Getting so big!
I am definitely nesting! It's so good for my household for me to be pregnant every year or so, hehe! ;) It would never get the attention that nesting affords it otherwise! Of course it does get neglected during morning sickness, so maybe it's just balancing out?! I have listed a zillion things that I want to DO to every room in the house, and done all the measuring and drawing (room plans) for swapping bedrooms. We are putting our big bed in storage (Neil's brother is storing it for us, hopefully), and I won a 4ft "small double" bed at eBay for £21!!! It was a few roads away so cost nothing really to pick up! :) It's in pieces in the car right now - just a plain pine bedframe. Neil took the old mattress they insisted on us collecting to the TIP! No way do I want to use somebody else's old mattress, even WITHOUT a brand new baby snuggled in next to me! I need to buy a new mattress at some point, but I'm just looking out for good deals on good quality mattresses, and trying to figure out which are the best types for a baby to lie on (ie. I don't want one with big dips and "buttons" in the mattress! NOT comfy - or safe?! - for a baby!). I want one that's a flat as possible, and medium firm ideally. But not cheap and uncomfy. A small double is going to be that little bit more spacious for co-sleeping (which is the natural sleep solution for allll the breastfeeding at night, for me, though we'll have the Amby or a cot for the baby to nap in, and spend some of the night in eventually), and it fits easily into the smaller bedroom that I'll be moving into when the boys all move into the bigger bedroom so that all 4 can share. It's NOT big enough for a "marital bed", but in a way I'm sort of hoping the fact that it's bigger than a single will at least give outsiders who might see it some vague impression that we are a husband and wife who still sleep together! :S We DON'T, and haven't since I was pregnant with Matthew (seriously!), but because we're perfectly happy with the arrangement, and it works so well for the whole family (and doesn't seem to be uhm, preventing the conception of further babies! ;) ) it seems crazy to continue having a queen sized bed in our tiny 2-bedroom house when we just don't need a bed that size! And I shouldn't care what anyone else thinks!!! But I admit I feel less comfortable with someone seeing that we only have single beds in our home, than if there was a bed around which COULD pass as a bed for two people! :) Silly.
I really want to PAINT the house! I know, paint fumes and pregnancy... I still want to do it! It's not awfully practical since there's furniture/clutter against walls everywhere, and little people running about all the time, but I do SO want to paint away the crayon all over the downstairs, and paint the bigger bedroom to co-ordinate with the boys' bedding and curtains for when they move in there. I also want to build a LONG chest with a lid that has a big capacity - partly to use to sit on, and partly to store all our arts and crafts supplies, games and puzzles which are cluttering up various other parts of the house (including the stairs!!). I can't find anything big enough for my liking to buy ready made, never mind the amount something like that would cost! I always end up desperate to BUILD something when pregnant, haha! ;) It would be lockable, and we are planning to get rid of both our sofa AND the armchair in the living room, and not replace them! Hopefully the chest would be a bit of extra seating (albeit not the comfiest, but something to perch on nonetheless!) as well as slim-fitting storage - giving much more space than the armchair that used to be in its place. Instead of the sofa, we're planning a pile of huge floor cushions for the boys to relax on and look at books. They only really use the sofa for this, but they do it many many times a day. Floor cushions instead of a sofa would make the room much more spacious. Also it would stop Benjamin climbing the sofa until he's on the window sill!!! :-O Right now we have both sofa and armchair turned to face the walls, which just looks SO NICE. *sigh* But it's necessary - that boy climbs from floor to teetering on the top of an armchair back in a few seconds flat!
Anyway! I have a TON that I want to do, and lots of decluttering and sorting as well. Nesting is a marvellous thing, and JUST what this house needs right now to try to space-save as much as possible! I just hope it lasts a good while, because I really need that extra motivation! Neil is currently job searching, and my time might be limited to have an hour or two a day to really tackle this stuff, once he gets a job.
Well I have a headache and need to go to bed now. Hopefully I will have no trouble updating on the day of the scan next week! Six days to gooooo! :) I plan to update here at my blog several hours before I share the news at Facebook - please come here to find out!!! I so don't want Facebook to take over my blog! :S But please don't tell a thing at Facebook on my wall until I announce it there. The name of the baby will be permanently HUSH-HUSH at Facebook until the birth announcement, so please don't let slip there! :)
Oh! My 18 week belly picture is up in the gallery at LAST! I am so sad that I missed 14 weeks AND 16 weeks! :( I'll post another at 20 weeks, hopefully, if I have a laptop or camera software that I've figured out! I'll TAKE a photo ready, anyway! I think the 20 week one is the one I always do the same as all the previous pregnancies at 20 weeks, for comparison - the first full photo rather than just cropped of my bump. I'll try to remember to do the same again! :)
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