The weather is soooooooo nice! I want to have a baby already! I don't enjoy this kind of anticipation!
I've had no signs of anything today, except a few tiny things to report:
* VERY quiet baby today. When I said he was quiet before, I had no idea! He IS moving, but about half as much as he did on the "quiet" couple of days from before. When he had only had about 3 sessions of movement by the time I was starting to think of making the boys' tea (5pm ish) I got a bit worried. On those quieter days, he still had 8 sessions of movement from when I woke until when I got in bed at night, so to only have 3 by 5pm is definitely not his usual level of activity. Two of those had also just been a single sort of shoulder-shrug/squirm. Heather said I shouldn't be going like 5 or 6 hours without any movement, but his sessions of movement were pretty well spaced out, so maybe 4 hours between each one. Still I was ready to call someone and ask what to do about it. He had just had some movement in the hour or so before that point, so I thought I would get the boys sorted for dinner and bath them, and then Neil would be home and I'd see how things were then. In the couple of hours between then and doing the boys' bedtime routine, he had 3 separate sessions of movement, and was more wiggly than before, so that was really encouraging. He was SO quiet the rest of the day though, goodness! That definitely makes me wonder about it being a pre-labour thing though...
* I haven't had much of an appetite at all today, which - over an entire day - isn't usual for me at all unless I also have IBS at the time, which I haven't. It's not that nothing sounds good, or that I can't decide what to eat. I just don't feel hungry. I was hungry for breakfast as usual, but for the rest of the day I didn't have an appetite even for treats really. I picked at various bits for lunch, and just had cereal and banana and a yoghurt, that kind of thing. I didn't feel unwell at all, just not hungry. I figured I'd get hungry in the afternoon and catch up then, but I didn't. When I gave the boys their tea, I made them fruit salad for pudding, and that looked nice so I had a bit, which went down fine but I didn't really have an appetite for anything more. This evening I haven't had dinner. I just plain haven't felt at all like eating, although not remotely unwell in any way. I'm beginning to think now I should eat something, and there's some vague hunger somewhere in the background, so I'm trying to eat a bowl of granola cereal, which isn't working too well. I kind of want it, but chewing and swallowing is just not feeling that natural, and I'm not hungry. So that makes me wonder as well...
* I have had a lot of CM today. A LOT. I can't call it mucus plug at all really, though I have had the odd tiny bit in with it on occasion. I wear a thin pantyliner these days and this morning had to change it by 9.45am, just a couple of hours after putting it on! I had to change it again by mid-afternoon. It's definitely not anything to do with my waters breaking (I know the difference from my experience with Nathey, and how it should be if that's happened and I sneeze/cough/lie-down, etc. And it's not that), and there's nothing odd about the CM at all, there's just lots of it. I did have a LOT of CM after initially having a show, before contractions even started with Benjamin's labour. I had to change my pad then too, but it wasn't my waters breaking.
* After a day of totally quiet womb, at 8.45pm I was sitting on the sofa checking Facebook and I had a pretty uncomfortable BH contraction. Not unusual. And then another one a few minutes later. And another one a few minutes later, and so on. At 9pm I opened up Contraction Master online so I could just poke a button when one started and see how far apart they were, while carrying on with what I was doing online. I timed them for an hour, and stopped because in the last 20 minutes of that time I was on the phone to my mum, and she eventually suggested getting up and walking about to see if they continued, so I reluctantly did, lol! They seemed to stop. Well, I had one 20 mins later in the kitchen, but nothing else really. My bump was very tight and uncomfy-feeling in between contractions though, so it was sometimes hard to tell when one had gone off or was starting. They didn't hurt at all, just felt tight and uncomfy, and some were a bit pressurey on my cervix. I could totally talk through them, but they distracted me a bit while they were there for the most part. I came back to the sofa before the phone call finished and had a few there, like before.
I think when I relax back into the sofa, that's the position that I most easily have BH contractions in, so that might be why I had so many. They came 2-3 minutes apart for a good while, with the odd 4 or 6 thrown in, and when I was on the phone (before getting up) they were a bit less regular - 4, 10, 7 and 2 minutes apart - and then I got up and they pretty much went off. The nice thing was that Elijah was active the ENTIRE time - over an hour of fairly constant movement, which isn't at all normal for him, but very reassuring for me! :) He changed position after the first few (I hope all this doesn't mean he was distressed by the contractions in any way, hmmm....) in that he rolled his back over to my right side with his little knee up against my left side. I had a constant searing ligament pain in my left side where his limbs were (they're never there on that side so I guess my ligament there isn't used to it!) for about 20 minutes, which was really sore!
Now I've been on the sofa sitting up for nearly an hour since finishing the phone call with my mum, and I have been having BH contractions on and off, but not timing them or focusing on them enough to get a feel for spacing. Elijah is moving at the moment too, so it's like he's making up for the quiet day this evening! ;)
The cereal isn't going down great. My tummy feels like it doesn't want it, so I'm giving up and going to bed. I'm really tired now, but weirdly I have felt very alert and non-sleepy today. I noticed it most obviously when I was breastfeeding Samuel in bed for his nap this morning. I can't remember when I last did that without feeling like I had taken a sleeping pill and having to fight to push past a huuuuuuge wave of sleepy exhaustion. It's so unusual for me NOT to feel that way when I put him down for a nap, that I really noticed it today when I felt as alert and wide awake as anything even after lying next to a dozing baby in a warm quiet bedroom for 10 minutes! Odd! I don't know whether any or all of these little things are "signs" - I guess NONE of them could be, especially if I'm still here in a week's time, lol! I would like to think they are, and if I have a baby tomorrow then I'll be all, "Oh yes, I just knew it because of how quiet he was/alert and not hungry I was/all the CM, etc"! ;) But I just can't know for now. Only time will tell and all that.
My sparkly nail varnish arrived today! I cleaned off all the pink I had previously applied, and set about doing the whole thing afresh with MY preferred shade of pink, hehe! Finishing my toenails off this morning was SUCH a relief! Like, "Ahhhhh, NOW I can go into labour!" ;) Photographic evidence:
Benjamin doesn't like it. He was giving them a very serious stare after lunch and said, "Mummy, I don' like your 'parkly toad." I asked him why not, and he said, "Iss because it looks hobobble." Um, okay then! Not sure what to say to that, but at least he's being honest! ;) The other boys seem to like them though! :) Samuel has tried to lick my toenails several times, hehe! I think he wonders if they're edible! ;) *I'm* very pleased to have girly sparkly toes at last! It's so odd but I really really REALLY needed to have them that way. And they make me smile every time I see them! :) I love the thought of catching sight of them and smiling whilst holding this sweet wiggly little manny in my actual arms sometime soon! :)
I can't think of anything else to report. I have felt a bit light-headed and spacey at times today, especially this evening, but it has been a hot day and maybe I haven't had enough to drink. A couple of times in the day I did make myself sit down at the kitchen table and drink a LARGE glass of water before getting up again, so I think I am getting enough fluids. If not, Neil reminded me that it could be the reason for all the BHs this evening, so yeah. I will have some more water before bed, and hopefully not have to get up too many times in the night for a wee! ;)
I didn't do too well with the boys this afternoon. I phoned Neil around 4pm all tearful because I was absolutely 100% DONE with the children for the day, and couldn't think how on earth to press on for another nanosecond. They were tearing up the living room and leaping about screaming and generally not being at all safe around Samuel (who was joining in and loving it, but not all that safe nonetheless!), and I was feeling very down on myself for not being able to get them out in this gorgeous weather (again). I felt so tired and hormonal suddenly at that moment, and just wanted to go upstairs and close the bedroom door behind me and lie on my bed until Neil got home (3 hours later, so um, not happening!). I also had no idea what to give them for dinner. I wanted rescuing! But it couldn't happen, so it was a moment of upsetness in general. After I spoke/vented to Neil, I separated the boys a bit and had them tidy up the living room. I got cross with them at first though, ugh. Then with them separated, things got a lot more calm and I was able to pull myself together again. Oooh, strong Braxton Hicks! My whole bump has morphed into a weird shape, lol! :)
Neil told me to just give them beans on toast for dinner, so I did, with some cheese and salad, and they asked for fruit salad afterwards so I ended up making that too, and it was fine. A nice sense of accomplishment actually, after the afternoon I'd had! It felt nice to make something healthy for them to enjoy from scratch without it being a huge ordeal, like I'd DONE something for them, you know? I have been feeling like I'm not doing anything much for them lately. Just something little like that helped. After dinner I decided to give them all a bath. They don't have baths very often really, but when the weather warms up we do it more often. I remembered seeing in Heather's notes on Samuel's birth that we had bathed the boys the day before he was born, and I suddenly thought that would be a good thing to get "done" - it's easier with two parents, to bath five little boys, than when I am flaked out in bed recovering from giving birth and the boys NEED a bath and Neil has to do the lot of them by himself! Also I sort of had it in my mind to try and do all the things that could possibly make me feel like there was nothing left "undone" and maybe (yes, I know I'm grasping at straws!) that could pave the way to getting labour started or something?! So I started their bathtime and Neil got home from work as I was starting it, which was great timing to help! :)
So my nails are sparkly, the boys are freshly bathed and hair-washed, the bedroom is ready for a homebirth, my bag is packed, the baby clothes are all sweetly folded in the dresser drawers, my due date has officially come, I did some baking (but still haven't done fairy cakes or flapjacks, hmmm. The urge isn't really there the same now, though).... So SURELY that's it in terms of my hormonal need to have certain things ready/done this time around?! I really do not look forward to labour! I feel a sense of nervousness at the idea that it might be starting soon, a real butterflies in my tummy sort of feeling! I am NOT looking forward to the ordeal! But ohhhh the reward! I am trying to keep my eyes on the prize, because it's an amazing one, and I can't WAIT for that part! I hope it's soooooon, despite the not wanting it to be, because otherwise the time drags on and it becomes harder, and the waiting sucks, and I get more huge and uncomfy, etc. It has to happen anyway! I would prefer it to be SOONER now!
Tomorrow is by far my favourite day out of all the ones ahead, to have my little baby boy. It's Thursday 24th. A nice looking date for a birthday! Mandi is working tomorrow. It's as soon as soon can be. It's feasible with my history. He'd be in my arms in such a wonderfully short time from now! I wouldn't have the huge ordeal of waiting and waiting into next week and contemplating further appointments and a sweep and the general yuck/discomfort that comes from that procedure alone. The only downside at all is that Heather would probably prefer ANY date but that one, since it's her daughter's birthday. I feel so bad for thinking selfishly, knowing that, but OH HOW I WANT IT TO BE TOMORROW ANYWAY!!!! :/ I want tomorrow even more than I've wanted any of the previous days or today. If nothing happens tomorrow I think I will find it hard, even though that's kind of silly. Because Mandi will be off work until Monday, which feels like forever away. And I'll know I could be waiting ages, the beautiful weather will continue while I sit useless at home with the boys, and of course next week it looks set to break and get "unsettled" again, urgh. I kept looking out of the window today at the vibrant green trees and the blue blue sky and sunshine, and feeling the gorgeous warm breeze coming in, and the summery smell everywhere, and thinking what perfect weather this is to be born into! What a lovely day for a baby to be born, perfect weather in late May - how lovely! I wish I could have him on one of these gorgeous days, which look set to continue until Sunday, for now.
Well, I think I will go to bed now. It's getting late and I feel ever so tired now. Not many BHs going on, but I do feel very tight and sore in my lower back and a little bit the same under my bump low in the front as well right now. It's not to do with contractions, it's just constant, and much more bothersome when I stand up or walk about. Maybe I overdid it lifting a big basket of laundry to put away today? I wondered if I should have done that! But I think it's fairly new just recently, so maybe not. Anyway, I will go to bed, and hopefully - oh hopefully! - I will have some sign in the morning that mayyyybe labour isn't too far off. Neil says he is thinking of staying home in the morning (slightly naughtily) and taking the boys out to the park to let me rest and gather my head a bit, and then if nothing is happening in the afternoon to go into work for the rest of the day. I want even more to have a sign of some sort in the morning, so that he can at least honestly report to work that there's possibly something happening! But the thought of him being home in the morning and getting those precious boys out in the sunshine and air for a few hours is unbelievably blissful and relieving to me right now.
I will update tomorrow in any case, but probably earlier in the day if there's anything to report. Otherwise the usual evening bulletin! ;) Thanks for being along for the ride!
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