My blog is getting more and more neglected! :( I just seem to have zero time or energy to blog lately, and week after week is the same. We're doing "stuff" to the house in order to try to fit our expanding family into a way-too-small house, and that has disrupted things quite a bit! I am online just as often, but nipping on here and there, never enough to really blog. I really want to! But hey ho. Hopefully more often soon.
It's late so I SHOULDN'T write much. I am really struggling with insomnia this pregnancy, at least at this stage anyway. I'm sure it's not the first time I've had that during pregnancy, but right now it's bothersome! I can't sleep for HOURS after going to bed. Sometimes it's that my mind won't switch off - I think that's more to do with the "stuff" that needs doing in the house that I'm thinking and planning on all the time in my mind, in order to speed up the process (thinking of how we'll do stuff is "planning time" that saves doing it later, even if it's the middle of the night!). I try to switch off my mind but it doesn't work too well right now. I also have horrible Restless Leg Syndrome which I'm sure I've mentioned loads during my various pregnancies. It's not a pregnancy thing for me - I have always had it, but it's worse during pregnancy which is common for RLS sufferers. The other two causes of my sleeplessness are little ones! Benjamin is NOT sleeping well right now, and he is still next to me. He is in a cot next to the bed, and just these last few days I have started trying to night wean him. He wakes a lot during the night and wants to nurse, but I am patting him and shushing instead right now. Some nights I nurse him once around midnight or 4am, but the other times (yes, he wakes LOTS still) I don't any more. He is putting himself back to sleep sometimes but I wake with every stirring he makes. He can stir every 5-20 minutes (like 4.00 - 6.30am last night) some nights and some of those times he'll resettle himself, but others he will get more awake and more upset and noisy if I don't pat him or something to help him settle back off. Which means basically no sleep over that time.
Anyway, it has been hard with Benjamin's sleep lately. I am working towards him sleeping through (I think maybe in vain, since maybe he won't?!) SOON so that he can go in with the boys in a month or so. I am getting a bit nervous about that actually working though, the way things are right now.
The other little one keeping me awake is Samuel! He is a REAL wiggler now that he's bigger, and sometimes catches me off-guard with the strength of a sudden kick or movement. He does series of kicks, quick and almost agitated, and they remind me of Thumper the rabbit, hehe! He is high up in my womb (not much in my pelvis, though tell my hurting pelvis that!) and when he shoves hard with his feet on the side of my bump, I always feel a similar jab on the opposite side, but I guess that's not limbs if his feet are facing the other side?! He has plenty of quiet restful times, but his active movements are really starting to feel distinctly big and vigorous! See? He has just given me a hefty kick just under my tummy button as I wrote that! ;) Sometimes he's not actually all that vigorous in his movements as such, but he's awake, and it somehow makes it really hard for me to fall asleep sometimes. I read that his awake cycles can affect my ability to sleep during them! I guess that's part of the issue for me at the moment.
Anyway! All those combined means I am really not getting good sleep. A good night right now is 3 solid hours and not much else, or 5 very broken hours (5+ wakings). The night before last I had my first totally sleepless night this pregnancy, and I was not impressed as I was really SO tired already. My legs and arms were unbearably restless from midnight till 4am, and when they finally went calm and heavy, Benjamin began his restless stirrings every 5-20 minutes until he was up for the day at 6.30am! I have no idea, NONE at all, what on earth I would do to survive the day with the little ones if Neil were at work right now. He is now into his 7th month of unemployment. We have no money and things are getting a LITTLE bit desperate actually, but I'm so very very thankful that he's home right now, in other ways. He lets me lie-in every single morning without any exception. Ever. Because I'm always up in the night, and I'm pregnant and tired. He's wonderful! He desperately needs to get a job very soon and is having interviews and so on here and there. One of these days he really will get a job and I must get up with the boys no matter what my night has been like or how close to my due date I get, and soldier on! I am NERVOUS, that's for sure! But I will lean on God and I trust Him.
So, it has been 4 weeks - A MONTH?!?! - since I last updated my pregnancy blog! That's TERRIBLE!! I feel like I'm short-changing Samuel with recording my pregnancy with him, especially with the total lack of belly pictures for the first time ever, but the reality is I'm just short-changing myself. It's ME who wants the record and not to see gaps and to be able to compare all my pregnancies for every week, etc. He's as loved as all the others, so I'm not really short-changing him. But I don't like that I haven't recorded this pregnancy like the others :(
Thank you for the reminders to blog and take belly pics! They DO help me get a burst of motivation to updating or taking a picture, and I'm really grateful! :) I haven't taken a belly picture since 18 weeks I think :( So I took a really bad one with the camera timer yesterday, with my head cut off (which I didn't intend), standing in the least trashed part of the room that we're turning into the boys' bedroom, which is where I spend my evenings right now because the boys have been sleeping on their mattresses on the living room floor for TEN DAYS (ugh!) while we try to do this huge transfer. The bedrooms are so cluttered and the job seems so huge to switch them around. We lost a few days at the start attempting to lay second-hand laminate floor in the smaller bedroom (and failing! The carpet stays in there for now!), but we're getting there. I work on it in the evenings unless I am dizzy-tired and not really able, which is a lot lately.
So I HAVE a 28-week belly picture! I just haven't had chance to get it off the camera yet. I'm just glad to have one on record at least! I will do my best to post it in the very sad-looking belly gallery in the next couple of days!
I have had a LONG break from any sort of antenatal care, as they've cut out the 24-week appointment (which is the first one after 16 weeks anyway!) in my area since my last pregnancy! I think the maternity care is great but the service is getting really patchy and there are LONG spells without seeing anyone which I don't think is good, especially for women on their first baby or two. Anyway, so the first appointment for me after my scan was my 28-week appointment - I've reached the THIRD TRIMESTER folks!!! I'm so excited! And so unable to believe it is really going this fast - 3rd trimester already?! Craziness.
My midwife appointment was this week (on Monday) and it went well. My blood pressure was 100/60, spot on for my norm and "textbook" healthy low blood pressure for a pregnant woman according to my midwife! :) It rarely seems to vary from that reading for me, until right at the very end of my pregnancies (when it goes up a bit), so that's nice. My urine was fine too, and I had blood taken for the usual routine stuff. Usually I'd have Anti-D at this appointment (or rather, have to say that I am not having it yet AGAIN), but it was SO nice that she did not even mention it, yay! That's a first! :) Samuel seemed happy in there when the midwife checked him. I don't know his heartrate but it was clipping along nicely and he was wiggly and active. I measured 29 weeks, so a week ahead. The midwife asked me what weight my last baby was at birth as she measured me, so I figured there was a reason for her asking! I am sort of hoping Samuel won't be the same kind of size as Benjamin was all the same! He was "only" 8lbs 11oz which is not a big baby compared to all these 10+ pounders I keep hearing about, but it's BIG for little old me! I'm really quite petite in my frame!
Samuel was head down at the midwife appointment (always something that's nice to hear!) but floating totally free high up. He changes position quite a bit, so the fact that he's very high up would explain that! Benjamin was high until partway through my labour, so I am not holding my breath for Samuel to get lower or engage at ALL until then. I still HOPE he does because all the while he's up in the air, he can turn into any old position he wants to much more easily and I would really really REALLY not like him to be breech or transverse when my due date arrives! :S That risk increases with each baby I have. I hope he stays head down!
His back is usually along my right side and his little feet (which now feel to my insides like foot-shaped paddles rather than tiny pokey fingertippy things!) push and jab and kick out in my left side at the front and side of my bump mostly. I think that was the side Matthew liked to be on too - the others have mostly preferred their backs on my left side, especially Arthur who was lateral in position the whole time (and during labour, until he turned posterior). Arthur used to "walk" up and down my bump against the mattress when I lay on my side in bed, hehe! Samuel is doing the opposite - when I lay down on my side, he likes to kick-kick-kick the "upside" of my bump. I love to lay my hand there and feel his little legs exercising away. He does do that "walking" thing up the side of my bump with his feet too, which I love. It's such a funny feeling, but I love it! :)
Before I went to my midwife appointment in the morning, Samuel was being very active and vigorous, and he was kicking me like crazy very low down, in my cervix and on my bladder. He kept doing that occasionally even up to and during my midwife appointment, and I was amazed (and slightly nervous of how strong and vigorous this tiny boy is going to get!) when the midwife told me he was head down, and those must be his HANDS punching the diddly out of my nether regions, not his feet! The blows he was dealing were SO strong they felt like vigorous hefty kicks. I would never have thought they were strong little arms and fists without confirmation that his legs were up the other way! ;) Strong baby! That's another thing - I would really REALLY like Samuel to keep his hands DOWN when it comes time to engage for birth!! I don't want him to be presenting HAND-first when he's born! Owch.
I am so loving being pregnant! Sooooo loving it.
I am feeling very big lately, and get heartburn a lot. I am having lots of trouble with acid reflux this pregnancy (not so much heartburn as stuff actually rolling up my throat - sorry for the detail, but just to clarify the difference!), which I really haven't had the other times. I do get heartburn with it, obviously, but it's the reflux that's bothersome. If I lie down, within a couple of minutes, up rolls my snack/lunch/dinner and I have to sit up FAST and drink some water. I wonder if it's happening a lot this pregnancy because this is the first pregnancy where we have had no sofa. I know that sounds really random, haha! But we got rid of our sofas and our armchair since last pregnancy, and we are not replacing them. We have NO space and need to minimalize furniture in our living room. We rarely get visitors (sounds rather pitiful but we just aren't that social! :S ) and as far as we are concerned within our own little family, we'd rather have a bigger space to move about and play in, in the living room, than big comfy seats to sit on. We have a single futon mattress on the living room floor against a wall with some cushions, to sit on - PLENTY of space for 4 (or 5!) little boys to sit and read stories together, which they love to do throughout the day! We have a storage chest now to hold all our arts and crafts stuff that is much more slimline than a sofa, where the sofa used to be, and at least that is seat-height so it can be sat on, but it's hard and not soft and comfy. And that's it. I didn't think ahead too well to the fact that my back aches and aches if I sit up for any length of time by the evening, and I used to just spend my evenings reclining on the sofa when pregnant. Hmmm! So instead, when my back aches, I sort of lie on my side on the floor or the futon, propped up on my elbow. It's NOT comfy! And I think it's linked to my reflux. But it's that or back ache, which just gets too much eventually otherwise.
I sound awfully complainy! I don't mean to be! I am just trying to document the way things are with pregnancy-related stuff these last few weeks. I am not noticing the "negative" stuff much for the blissful joy of carrying a baby again, and anticipating his arrival! I truly LOVE being pregnant. This does not mean I enjoy perfect comfy pregnancies, but I am blessed with straight-forward pregnancies and an immense delight in the experience! :)
Soooo, the only thing of note is my placenta. I have a succenturiate placenta this time (think I spelled that right?!). This is where I have my main "dinner plate" placenta on the front wall of my uterus, and then there is a separate smaller lobe of placenta on the back wall of my uterus. The two are connected by membranes and some blood vessels. It's not as uncommon as I first though - about 8% of pregnancies, which is quite a lot really I suppose. There's a small risk to the baby, if the membranes or blood vessels connecting the two parts are ruptured then there would be a lot of bleeding and the baby could potentially die or suffer for lack of oxygen as part of a placental abruption or something. The main risk with a succenturiate placenta is to me, at birth. It carries a higher risk of haemmorhage when the placenta is delivered, because sometimes the main part of the placenta detaches and comes out and the lobe does not, or at least doesn't full detach. This can cause very heavy bleeding which is hard to stem. Or the lobe can remain for a while and then detach at a later point causing haemmorhage. Because they know of mine already, that wouldn't happen. But it's an extra risk factor to throw in there this pregnancy, and I already have two (5 babies, and Group B Strep).
I have been given another appointment to see the consultant at the hospital about the new risk factor, which is on Sept. 30th. Not really looking forward to it, except that Heather is going with me again (unless she's with a client who is giving birth - she'll be on call for one at the time), and this particular consultant is lovely! The midwife said she could tell me right now what he'd say though. I said, "Give birth in hospital and have a managed 3rd stage?" and she nodded. I am not gung-ho on absolutely having a homebirth, for any of my babies. I just lean that way, that's all. It's more convenient, and much nicer to boot! :) I don't have to leave my babies which is a biggie for me (with the whole childcare issue since Neil would have to leave them too), or "come home" - I really dislike coming home! It's exhausting, difficult for everyone transition-wise (compared with already BEING at home), and a big anti-climax which is hard emotionally. I like coming home to my little ones if I have been away though :)
BUT, I currently feel rather nervous of giving birth at home, in case I bleed heavily when the placenta is delivered. To be honest, it's not homebirth related. I feel the same anxiety over the stage where the placenta is delivered, WHEREVER I am giving birth. I am just so nervous! I really hope and pray that my good old efficient uterus will do its usual thing, contract down hard and "spit" out the placenta completely, lobe and all! ;) That's what SHOULD happen when the uterus contracts to detach the placenta - the whole of the uterine wall should detach whatever was previously attached to it. I am not really sure why a lobe would remain if that efficient natural process happens, but apparently they do sometimes. The midwife I saw told me that she had personally delivered two women who had succenturiate placentas, and both of them had a heavy bleed. Which rather frightened me, but she immediately said, "Not to scare you, or anything! Just to let you know know the risk...." but it DID scare me. So I am not sure about where to give birth. I know the advice will be to definitely have a hospital birth, and if I do then a bonus would be that I would just add in the antibiotics for the Group B Strep while I'm at it - IF I am carrying Group B Strep this time (likely, but I'll have the test again at 37 weeks to be sure).
I don't want a managed 3rd stage. I just don't. I want the cord to be left to stop pulsating before it is cut - that is important to me. And there might be NO risk to me with this weird placenta of mine - even with the stats on these things, MY experience all along might well be to just efficiently deliver the placenta whole in any case, no problems. But I don't know.... Heather would say to PRAY about it, and she's right, but I'm stuck in anxiety over it and that always makes me stop in the fog and not know which direction to turn in. I don't want to haemmorrhage at home! I don't want to haemmorrhage in hospital either! So that is my only hiccup in the pregnancy at the moment. I'll keep the blog posted on further developments!
Talking of hiccups, I finally got to feel Samuel hiccuping recently! I think it was around the 26 week mark - quite late for my babies! They are still so faint and hard to feel, which is odd for my babies but perhaps it is to do with the anterior placenta (on the front wall) blocking some of the sensations till later, like with the early movements? I can tell when he has hiccups now, but I have to stop and go really still to feel them properly. I can just about feel them against my hand on my bump but often not at all, and sometimes I can only feel them like that if I'm sitting up squashing my bump a bit or something. Neil can't feel them yet. All the boys have felt Samuel kick now, though Nathan and Benjamin aren't really aware of it. He kicks them when they snuggle on my lap but they don't acknowledge it. The other two boys do though! They jump up in shock and delight with huge smiles on their faces because they've felt the baby actually make contact with them, and they just can't get over it! They are so excited about my pregnancy, and my tummy getting bigger, and the baby joining us in December. Nathan also asks all the time when my new baby is coming out, and I always say, "In December" (he knows most of his months) and he always says, "Oh." and looks a bit forlorn for a moment, bless him! He already has a younger sibling but he won't really remember the experience of a new baby arriving or Mummy getting bigger and bigger, or know about it being exciting yet, as he was not quite 18 months old when Benjamin was born.
I feel like I am gaining weight at a much more steady pace now, but I am NOT getting on the scales to find out, haha! ;) I'm sure curiosity will get the better of me eventually. I'm eating more sweet foods than I was before, because my tooth is getting SO much sweeter lately and it's ever so hard to resist. I am still not buying much in the way of sugary snacks or treats - we really have no money to do that anyway so it's for the best. I do sometimes do some baking though, and make puddings occasionally! I eat more than my fair share of those things when I make them! ;) I am also nibbling my way through dark chocolate in the cupboard which is there for cooking with, just out of desperate NEED for chocolate sometimes! Tsk! But at least dark chocolate is better for me - it's a good source of iron! :)
I'm eating well and feeling good. Tired and breathless a lot but that's sleep-related rather than pregnancy-related really. Other than the sleep issues I'm really in a GOOD energy stage of pregnancy right now, and still getting plenty of nesting (and baking!) urges, which is great as we have plenty to do around here to get ready! I discovered Neil's brother has our box of newborn baby clothes in his garage for some reason, so Neil will need to pick those up at some point for me to joyfully sort through and waste - SPEND! - much time lovingly pressing impossibly tiny and cute clothing to my cheeks! *sigh* LOVE getting ready for a new baby! :) Whilst clearing out the bedrooms I also found all the terry towels (which we use for burp - that is to say puke - cloths in the early months), my homemade changing mat covers, the hooded baby towels, Moses basket bedding and newborn slings and wraps! My brother gave us all the leftover newborn disposable nappies that they didn't use up on their baby boy earlier this year, so I have a part-used pack of Nature Baby nappies and another of Pampers (sorry to the clothies who are cringing at the sight of the word "Pampers", hehe!). They are so TIIIINY, awwwwwww! I can't believe my baby will be that small - isn't that always the way?! Even though I've had four already, I still can't BELIEVE they are really THAT small when they arrive! We use Tesco nappies as they're frankly the best performing nappies, and also much cheaper than the brand name ones, and I'll stock up on those later on. For now I have put all those things in a drawer under Benjamin's cot, just to keep them in one place ready. I also found the Tummy Tub baby bath and that's sitting rather awkwardly at the foot of my bed in the smaller bedroom (Benjamin and I are moved in there now, though there's plenty still to do to the room yet). I'm not planning to think of any more baby prep until after the house stuff is sorted. That's the boys' bedroom (getting them back in there, and then finishing the room off for them), getting the smaller bedroom ready for the baby, and laying the laminate floor downstairs hopefully next week with the help of some friends. And generally downsizing and decluttering the whole place. BIG STUFF. After all that is done, I will be much more calm and sane and ready for actual nesting and baby preparation! ;) I know if this big stuff gets delayed much more I will start to be increasingly agitated and hormonal and LESS sane and MORE difficult to live with, etc. I know it from previous pregnancies, and have duly reminded Neil of the experience, so he is well-motivated to get the house sorted asap too, haha! ;)
Right, I'm sure there is MUCH more since it has been so long, but I think I've recapped on most of the main stuff, and it's really getting so late, so I must go to bed! I will TRY to update again soon - hopefully next week even! My appointment is Thursday so I'll at least update Facebook in very brief terms, but I don't want to really be too detailed about stuff at Facebook sometimes, so I'll probably save it for here and update as soon as I'm able about it. I can't believe I'll be 29 weeks on Monday - only 11 weeks to go!!! Amazing. Christmas is starting to be mentioned a lot, and I'm seeing more signs of it out and about (shops and so on), which is really making it more real to me that I'm actually going to have a baby quite soon! Fun, and slightly scary, but mostly FUN! :) I need to get cracking on planning Christmas and having it all ready at least a month in advance (I'd originally planned to by the end of October, but I'm not sure I'll achieve that with the various house-related delays and the whole no money issue!), and for that matter Arthur's birthday in November and Nathan's birthday in January! I'd love to have those things planned and sorted completely WELL in advance so that I don't have to stress about them nearer the time! AFTER this big house stuff is done... Then I'll have lots of opportunity to work on that kind of thing. I just hope we get it all done soon!
Going to bed! Thanks so much for reading and leaving comments and just being interested and excited about my pregnancy! :) I'll put the belly pic up as soon as I get round to uploading it from the camera. Back soon! :)
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
24 weeks, 6 days!
Wow, the weeks are FLYING by!! I can't believe I will be 25 weeks pregnant tomorrow - only 15 to go until my due date!! I LOVE that I'm now into that precious stage with the baby known as "viability" - phewwwwwww! I always breathe a sigh of relief when I pass 24 weeks because the baby has a chance of survival after that. The likelihood of survival if he's born from now goes up with each passing week, and I'm so glad to be on this side of 24 weeks again! :)
Today I finally braved the bathroom scales for the first time in absolutely ages! ;) I weighed 10 stone 11lbs, which surprised me somewhat. I was sure I would see something like a stone more than that, since I started out at 9 stone 13lbs this pregnancy - my heaviest starting weight yet! So far I have only gained 12lbs which I LIKE! It doesn't mean much because the real packing-it-on weeks are still way ahead of me (especially the last month!), but I'm still happy to have gained 12lbs so far. I checked my diary for my other pregnancies at the 24-week mark, and found that this is my lowest weight gain so far! Maybe making an effort to not pig out on sweet foods IS making a difference?! I am eating some sweet treats actually, over these last couple of weeks, so I was expecting to be gaining hugely now, but so far it seems to be okay. I am still not buying any sweeties, and trying to only home-bake anything sweet I want to eat (so far flapjacks and sponge puddings, which only have half the sugar of normal sponge cakes anyway). I have had some Ben & Jerry's recently for the first time this pregnancy, which I could not resist because it was HALF PRICE people! C'mon!! ;) But I think that's it. No chocolate as such (BOY would I like to have some though!).
At 24 weeks in my other pregnancies, I had gained 18lbs with Arthur, 14lbs with Matthew, 17lbs with Nathan, and 18lbs with Benjamin. I am not sure if there can be a connection that early on in pregnancy, but it's interesting to me that Arthur and Benjamin were my two babies who weighed over 8lbs (Benjamin being nearer to 9lbs than 8lbs!), Nathan was early so it's hard to tell but I think he would have been over 8lbs if he'd gone to term, and Matthew was my little 7lb 11oz boy! Interesting that my weight gain seems to match their birth weight stats... I wonder if only gaining 12lbs so far this pregnancy will have any bearing on Samuel's birth weight?! Time will tell! :)
It has been a couple of weeks again since I updated and I should write a nice long entry with alllll the news, but I am not feeling all that well this evening and think I will just go to bed. I have sore scratchy throat, but I have been absolutely nowhere to catch anything viral. I did paint one wall of the living room yesterday while the boys were out at the park, and then, well, that's the only room to "live" in so that's the same room I stayed in for the rest of the day and through the evening. The paint was low odour/toxicity but it still smells painty, you know? Anyway by the end of the evening I had an annoyed throat, and I wondered if it was to do with the paint. Or not. It has persisted today and I just feel tired out and "heady". Hopefully I'm not coming down with anything. I have also had bothersome IBS for the last week or two and even woken up with horribly painful cramps from it one night. I was in such a deep sleep and dreaming, and it took several "contractions" to even rise to the surface of the dream/sleep. I was confused about whether I was in labour (not having a clue how pregnant I was at the time, lol!) and woke up rocking my hips like I sometimes do when I'm in labour to manage the pain at the peak of contractions! It was THAT painful. Ow. But just IBS. I have had bouts of it quite badly during pregnancy before, but in general it's not too bad when I'm pregnant - not as bad as when I'm not, anyway. So I think this is just a bout. But it makes me feel yucky and uncomfortable and just a bit sort of unwell in the whole of my digestive tract really, while it's there. That coupled with the throaty feeling tonight just makes me feel under the weather, but I hope I'm not actually ill in any way, just "irritable" in a couple of different zones, hehe! ;)
I can't actually think of much else I was going to say anyway, though I'm sure there must be plenty! Things are fairly uneventful at the moment, pregnancy-wise, which is a nice stage to be at. My energy is fairly normal, but I get tired easily if I'm silly and don't go to bed early enough. Neil is still at home and still doesn't have a job, so we have absolutely no money whatsoever, but it's GOLDEN having him here. The boys are loving it, and so am I. Neil is doing lots with them, and blessing me with lie-ins every single day (can you believe that?! Such a star hubby!). He is tired too from staying up late and the boys' antics, but happy. He is having job interviews and I know that at any time he could get a job and suddenly I will need to adjust to being the sole parent during the day to alllll these little boys, and increasingly pregnant with my new tiny precious. I am really cherishing the rest I am getting while I can, and getting as much nesty stuff done while I can too. I don't think there will be much time for preparations once Neil is working. I have really not given much thought to what NEEDS preparing actually, this time, for a new baby! I think maybe it's because we've done it so many times and also it's always a pretty recent thing, so surely we have everything we need fairly close at hand?! ;) And because he's a boy, even more so. Of course everything for a brand new baby (clothes, towels, etc) is in the loft, so that will need getting down and washing again, but not till later. We have to swap the bedrooms around first before I can even do that, so I am just not thinking about such things yet! I will need to buy newborn nappies and breast pads but that's probably it. I guess I'll start to think about it in a few more weeks and make lists (I love that part!). First I am way more focused on the various decor and furniture changes that need to take place before lists of things are going to be much use! And that part is loads of fun! We don't normally do that kind of thing, but we're changing everything around this time to make the best of the small space we're living in.
Oh, the last two days I have been eating like crazy! My mum said it sounded like I had worms (how nice!)! I just would eat a proper meal, and still feel hungry after it. Or else feel like I'd eaten a meal, and then not TEN MINUTES later, my tummy would start scrunching with hunger! I was really confused by that at first, because I was sure I couldn't possibly be hungry enough for my tummy to scrunch up when I'd JUST eaten a meal, so I ignored it. I figured it was some digestive process or something! ;) But I just got hungrier and hungrier, so in the end I ate a few pieces of toast, or a bowl of cereal. For two days running I ate 5 good sized meals a day! Today I am back to normal appetite, from waking this morning, so I think Samuel must have been having a big growth spurt or something! I wasn't doing anything demanding so it can't have been anything to do with burning calories, other than what Samuel was burning for me. My bump does seem really big to me now, for 24 weeks. Three babies have now been born at church over the summer from the latest "batch" at church (I'm the last in the batch this time, by a couple of months) and I kid you not, I am the same size as the lady who just had a baby, when I saw her at church 4 days before her due date! She was carrying neatly, but not especially small. Weirdly enough I am actually measuring (to my own measurements!) spot on for dates, but I also always seem to "carry big" - all out the front and very noticable! I always get comments when I'm pregnant about how "big" I carry my babies, even though I'm not really big for dates as such and the babies themselves are average size (ish). I am really filling out my maternity clothes now which is lovely! :)
Samuel is kicking lots and lots, and I love feeling all his wiggles and pops. He isn't a big "limb-sweeper" like a couple of his brothers have been. His movements are smaller and "peppy". I can tell when he's sleepy and calm in his movements, or when he's feeling alert and energetic, just by the way he is moving and kicking. He has done a few little fiddly movements with his hands that I can feel, usually low down, but he doesn't seem to do those much. Nathan was BIG on fiddly hand movements - he is the only boy who has Neil's long delicate fingers actually! The others all have my hands and fingers (so far!). Samuel's position changes all the time, and at any given time I'm not sure what position he's in. He's still quite little to be really aware of that kind of thing all the time. I can usually see if I lift my top, whether his back is up against my tummy, and if it is, which side it's on. I can see his back rounded out against one side of my bump usually, and it changes a lot. I have also noticed that he's transverse a LOT. He also likes an oblique lie lately, and when he kicks at my hip, the other end of him rebounds in my other side, higher up! :) I have yet to feel him have hiccups or see him practising breathing, which I had been able to by now with the other boys I think. Except Matthew - I think it was nearer to 28 weeks before I felt Matthew having hiccups for some reason. The others were all 20-22 weeks I think. So I'm waiting, waiting! I ADORE baby hiccups, and can't wait to feel Samuel's for the first time! Often I feel a couple of rhythmic little taps or jerks, and freeze, wondering if it's the start of hiccups! But it hasn't been so far. Soon, I hope! :) His kicks seem very gentle and little compared to what I think I remember of the other boys at this kind of stage. But my memory could well be impaired, haha! My main comparison with all pregnancies is Matthew, since he was my most vigorous. He was a hefty kicker from 15 or 16 weeks, seriously. This baby has not reached even that kind of vigour yet. I think Benjamin was similar to Samuel. I will have to go back and read a few entries from my diary that I wrote during Benjamin's pregnancy, and find out!
I just can't WAIT to meet him!!!!!! I love him so much already!! :D
Well, I had a break a while back when Benjamin woke to breastfeed (still going happily, especially now there's colostrum, thankfully! Trying to feed him less between his bedtime and morning waketime, but on demand (aplenty!) during the day still!). Now it's quite late and I don't feel quite as yucky. I am going to glance over tomorrow's maths lesson for Arthur and then go to bed. I'm glad to be planning to take December and January completely OFF school to focus on birthing, recovering, and adjusting to sweet tiny Samuel's presence in our home! It's nice not to worry about school during that time, but I am eager to get back to it in February all the same! I hope it will be manageable with 5 little ones! :S I will cross that bridge when I come to it, I guess.
I STILL haven't got a belly picture! :( I'm really slacking on that this pregnancy, and that's sad because then I won't have a nice record to look back on for Samuel. I MUST get one this week! Last pregnancy at 24 weeks I got Neil to take one of me with all the boys, and it's still one of my favourite photos with me in it! So maybe it would be fun to have another one for this pregnancy?! I think I will try to organise it, if the boys will cooperate! If not, maybe just a normal belly picture before the week is out, to try to make up for lost time!
I'll update again when I can! Comments have all but stopped here now, but oh well. I guess I don't update often enough. Oh but Legolass, don't worry about asking questions!!! Thanks for yours - I am always happy to answer questions! I was anxious about morning sickness before being pregnant, and it was scary when I did feel so nauseous with Arthur's pregnancy. I was too scared to eat because I felt so sick, and *VITAL TIP* do not, I repeat, do not ever do that!!! Eat, nibble, whatever you can to just keep putting things in, because I discovered that the less you eat, the worse the morning sickness, and I got myself in a vicious cycle. I have never actually been sick (sooooo thankful!) when morning sick, but after not eating for ages with Arthur I did get the dry heaves once or twice. I felt better for starting to eat again. In my experience, I just feel sick from waking to sleeping, for a few months. Some pregnancies I don't feel sick till the end of the morning, but then it lasts till bedtime. Other pregnancies I feel sick if I wake in the night too. Different times of day affect how sick I feel. It's usually anything from moderately motion-sick-feeling to nauseous enough to be sick at any moment (though not actually doing so). It does suck! I found it near unbearable the first pregnancy, and in any pregnancy the first week or two are the hardest. But there is definitely an adjustment of some sort so that it doesn't quite feel so dreadful after that. Also subsequent pregnancies have been more manageable even if the nausea is really bad, just because I've been there and done that, I guess. It DOES go away, and it IS 1 million percent worth it - even for someone who is deathly afraid of vomiting! :) Thanks so much for your comment!
Okay, bed! Back soon! :)
Today I finally braved the bathroom scales for the first time in absolutely ages! ;) I weighed 10 stone 11lbs, which surprised me somewhat. I was sure I would see something like a stone more than that, since I started out at 9 stone 13lbs this pregnancy - my heaviest starting weight yet! So far I have only gained 12lbs which I LIKE! It doesn't mean much because the real packing-it-on weeks are still way ahead of me (especially the last month!), but I'm still happy to have gained 12lbs so far. I checked my diary for my other pregnancies at the 24-week mark, and found that this is my lowest weight gain so far! Maybe making an effort to not pig out on sweet foods IS making a difference?! I am eating some sweet treats actually, over these last couple of weeks, so I was expecting to be gaining hugely now, but so far it seems to be okay. I am still not buying any sweeties, and trying to only home-bake anything sweet I want to eat (so far flapjacks and sponge puddings, which only have half the sugar of normal sponge cakes anyway). I have had some Ben & Jerry's recently for the first time this pregnancy, which I could not resist because it was HALF PRICE people! C'mon!! ;) But I think that's it. No chocolate as such (BOY would I like to have some though!).
At 24 weeks in my other pregnancies, I had gained 18lbs with Arthur, 14lbs with Matthew, 17lbs with Nathan, and 18lbs with Benjamin. I am not sure if there can be a connection that early on in pregnancy, but it's interesting to me that Arthur and Benjamin were my two babies who weighed over 8lbs (Benjamin being nearer to 9lbs than 8lbs!), Nathan was early so it's hard to tell but I think he would have been over 8lbs if he'd gone to term, and Matthew was my little 7lb 11oz boy! Interesting that my weight gain seems to match their birth weight stats... I wonder if only gaining 12lbs so far this pregnancy will have any bearing on Samuel's birth weight?! Time will tell! :)
It has been a couple of weeks again since I updated and I should write a nice long entry with alllll the news, but I am not feeling all that well this evening and think I will just go to bed. I have sore scratchy throat, but I have been absolutely nowhere to catch anything viral. I did paint one wall of the living room yesterday while the boys were out at the park, and then, well, that's the only room to "live" in so that's the same room I stayed in for the rest of the day and through the evening. The paint was low odour/toxicity but it still smells painty, you know? Anyway by the end of the evening I had an annoyed throat, and I wondered if it was to do with the paint. Or not. It has persisted today and I just feel tired out and "heady". Hopefully I'm not coming down with anything. I have also had bothersome IBS for the last week or two and even woken up with horribly painful cramps from it one night. I was in such a deep sleep and dreaming, and it took several "contractions" to even rise to the surface of the dream/sleep. I was confused about whether I was in labour (not having a clue how pregnant I was at the time, lol!) and woke up rocking my hips like I sometimes do when I'm in labour to manage the pain at the peak of contractions! It was THAT painful. Ow. But just IBS. I have had bouts of it quite badly during pregnancy before, but in general it's not too bad when I'm pregnant - not as bad as when I'm not, anyway. So I think this is just a bout. But it makes me feel yucky and uncomfortable and just a bit sort of unwell in the whole of my digestive tract really, while it's there. That coupled with the throaty feeling tonight just makes me feel under the weather, but I hope I'm not actually ill in any way, just "irritable" in a couple of different zones, hehe! ;)
I can't actually think of much else I was going to say anyway, though I'm sure there must be plenty! Things are fairly uneventful at the moment, pregnancy-wise, which is a nice stage to be at. My energy is fairly normal, but I get tired easily if I'm silly and don't go to bed early enough. Neil is still at home and still doesn't have a job, so we have absolutely no money whatsoever, but it's GOLDEN having him here. The boys are loving it, and so am I. Neil is doing lots with them, and blessing me with lie-ins every single day (can you believe that?! Such a star hubby!). He is tired too from staying up late and the boys' antics, but happy. He is having job interviews and I know that at any time he could get a job and suddenly I will need to adjust to being the sole parent during the day to alllll these little boys, and increasingly pregnant with my new tiny precious. I am really cherishing the rest I am getting while I can, and getting as much nesty stuff done while I can too. I don't think there will be much time for preparations once Neil is working. I have really not given much thought to what NEEDS preparing actually, this time, for a new baby! I think maybe it's because we've done it so many times and also it's always a pretty recent thing, so surely we have everything we need fairly close at hand?! ;) And because he's a boy, even more so. Of course everything for a brand new baby (clothes, towels, etc) is in the loft, so that will need getting down and washing again, but not till later. We have to swap the bedrooms around first before I can even do that, so I am just not thinking about such things yet! I will need to buy newborn nappies and breast pads but that's probably it. I guess I'll start to think about it in a few more weeks and make lists (I love that part!). First I am way more focused on the various decor and furniture changes that need to take place before lists of things are going to be much use! And that part is loads of fun! We don't normally do that kind of thing, but we're changing everything around this time to make the best of the small space we're living in.
Oh, the last two days I have been eating like crazy! My mum said it sounded like I had worms (how nice!)! I just would eat a proper meal, and still feel hungry after it. Or else feel like I'd eaten a meal, and then not TEN MINUTES later, my tummy would start scrunching with hunger! I was really confused by that at first, because I was sure I couldn't possibly be hungry enough for my tummy to scrunch up when I'd JUST eaten a meal, so I ignored it. I figured it was some digestive process or something! ;) But I just got hungrier and hungrier, so in the end I ate a few pieces of toast, or a bowl of cereal. For two days running I ate 5 good sized meals a day! Today I am back to normal appetite, from waking this morning, so I think Samuel must have been having a big growth spurt or something! I wasn't doing anything demanding so it can't have been anything to do with burning calories, other than what Samuel was burning for me. My bump does seem really big to me now, for 24 weeks. Three babies have now been born at church over the summer from the latest "batch" at church (I'm the last in the batch this time, by a couple of months) and I kid you not, I am the same size as the lady who just had a baby, when I saw her at church 4 days before her due date! She was carrying neatly, but not especially small. Weirdly enough I am actually measuring (to my own measurements!) spot on for dates, but I also always seem to "carry big" - all out the front and very noticable! I always get comments when I'm pregnant about how "big" I carry my babies, even though I'm not really big for dates as such and the babies themselves are average size (ish). I am really filling out my maternity clothes now which is lovely! :)
Samuel is kicking lots and lots, and I love feeling all his wiggles and pops. He isn't a big "limb-sweeper" like a couple of his brothers have been. His movements are smaller and "peppy". I can tell when he's sleepy and calm in his movements, or when he's feeling alert and energetic, just by the way he is moving and kicking. He has done a few little fiddly movements with his hands that I can feel, usually low down, but he doesn't seem to do those much. Nathan was BIG on fiddly hand movements - he is the only boy who has Neil's long delicate fingers actually! The others all have my hands and fingers (so far!). Samuel's position changes all the time, and at any given time I'm not sure what position he's in. He's still quite little to be really aware of that kind of thing all the time. I can usually see if I lift my top, whether his back is up against my tummy, and if it is, which side it's on. I can see his back rounded out against one side of my bump usually, and it changes a lot. I have also noticed that he's transverse a LOT. He also likes an oblique lie lately, and when he kicks at my hip, the other end of him rebounds in my other side, higher up! :) I have yet to feel him have hiccups or see him practising breathing, which I had been able to by now with the other boys I think. Except Matthew - I think it was nearer to 28 weeks before I felt Matthew having hiccups for some reason. The others were all 20-22 weeks I think. So I'm waiting, waiting! I ADORE baby hiccups, and can't wait to feel Samuel's for the first time! Often I feel a couple of rhythmic little taps or jerks, and freeze, wondering if it's the start of hiccups! But it hasn't been so far. Soon, I hope! :) His kicks seem very gentle and little compared to what I think I remember of the other boys at this kind of stage. But my memory could well be impaired, haha! My main comparison with all pregnancies is Matthew, since he was my most vigorous. He was a hefty kicker from 15 or 16 weeks, seriously. This baby has not reached even that kind of vigour yet. I think Benjamin was similar to Samuel. I will have to go back and read a few entries from my diary that I wrote during Benjamin's pregnancy, and find out!
I just can't WAIT to meet him!!!!!! I love him so much already!! :D
Well, I had a break a while back when Benjamin woke to breastfeed (still going happily, especially now there's colostrum, thankfully! Trying to feed him less between his bedtime and morning waketime, but on demand (aplenty!) during the day still!). Now it's quite late and I don't feel quite as yucky. I am going to glance over tomorrow's maths lesson for Arthur and then go to bed. I'm glad to be planning to take December and January completely OFF school to focus on birthing, recovering, and adjusting to sweet tiny Samuel's presence in our home! It's nice not to worry about school during that time, but I am eager to get back to it in February all the same! I hope it will be manageable with 5 little ones! :S I will cross that bridge when I come to it, I guess.
I STILL haven't got a belly picture! :( I'm really slacking on that this pregnancy, and that's sad because then I won't have a nice record to look back on for Samuel. I MUST get one this week! Last pregnancy at 24 weeks I got Neil to take one of me with all the boys, and it's still one of my favourite photos with me in it! So maybe it would be fun to have another one for this pregnancy?! I think I will try to organise it, if the boys will cooperate! If not, maybe just a normal belly picture before the week is out, to try to make up for lost time!
I'll update again when I can! Comments have all but stopped here now, but oh well. I guess I don't update often enough. Oh but Legolass, don't worry about asking questions!!! Thanks for yours - I am always happy to answer questions! I was anxious about morning sickness before being pregnant, and it was scary when I did feel so nauseous with Arthur's pregnancy. I was too scared to eat because I felt so sick, and *VITAL TIP* do not, I repeat, do not ever do that!!! Eat, nibble, whatever you can to just keep putting things in, because I discovered that the less you eat, the worse the morning sickness, and I got myself in a vicious cycle. I have never actually been sick (sooooo thankful!) when morning sick, but after not eating for ages with Arthur I did get the dry heaves once or twice. I felt better for starting to eat again. In my experience, I just feel sick from waking to sleeping, for a few months. Some pregnancies I don't feel sick till the end of the morning, but then it lasts till bedtime. Other pregnancies I feel sick if I wake in the night too. Different times of day affect how sick I feel. It's usually anything from moderately motion-sick-feeling to nauseous enough to be sick at any moment (though not actually doing so). It does suck! I found it near unbearable the first pregnancy, and in any pregnancy the first week or two are the hardest. But there is definitely an adjustment of some sort so that it doesn't quite feel so dreadful after that. Also subsequent pregnancies have been more manageable even if the nausea is really bad, just because I've been there and done that, I guess. It DOES go away, and it IS 1 million percent worth it - even for someone who is deathly afraid of vomiting! :) Thanks so much for your comment!
Okay, bed! Back soon! :)
Saturday, August 14, 2010
22 weeks, 5 days
Quick! An update!!! Time is just whizzing by so fast, and before I know it another couple of weeks (or more!) keep disappearing since I last updated! So, it's late and I should be going to bed instead of starting to blog, but I know I just HAVE to grab the time to update when I think of it, otherwise it won't happen!
I am sadder than sad because I didn't get a 20-week belly picture :( That photo is particularly special because it's the only one in my whole pregnancy where I wear the same outfit as all the previous pregnancies at the same stage, and stand in the same place at the same angle, and have a real comparison photo taken. Samuel has no comparison photo to go with all his brothers' ones :( I feel so sad about that! I also haven't got a 22-week belly pic yet, which I'm ALSO sad about!!! Tsk! I just have to sort it out! Each pregnancy times slips away faster and faster, and this time it's like trying to grasp extremely fine sand. Impossible!
So, I will jot down what I can and hopefully get a photo tomorrow and call it 22 weeks (though I'll be 23 weeks the next day). Then at least I am not continuing to miss recording my pregnancy on top of everything else!
I finally started doing my prenatal exercises from the DVD!!!! Yaaaaaay! The bad news is that I've only done it once! But it went fine. I thought I would only be able to attempt the warm up and then be knackered, but it's a gentler routine than I thought, and I just kept assessing how I felt and then starting the next section and the next, and before I knew it, I had done the whole hour-long routine!! :) It includes warm-up, stretching, toning, aerobic exercise, warm-down, and some relaxation at the end. It was great! I didn't feel like it was doing much, and wasn't sore at all over the next couple of days, but I really did feel more "zingy" and like I'd done something good with my body for the rest of the day after doing the exercises, so I must do it again! I had to do the exercises in the kitchen with very little space (I was practically under the kitchen table for some of the floor exercises, haha!) and crumbs on the floor (which reappear mysteriously just moments after I sweep them away?!?! How do they do that?!) so it wasn't at ALL a nice environment to exercise in, and that puts me off to be honest. It's the only place where I can play a DVD though, so I will have to work with it.
I have decided I am gaining NO weight at all this pregnancy, in huge contrast to all my other ones!! Yay! The method I have for achieving this is to never NEVER EVER step on the scales to see. That way, I gain no lbs. Possibly? ;) In other words, I have not checked my weight at all, and am not in any hurry to! I don't want to gain as much as I have the other times, but I feel pretty sure I'm likely gaining at the same rate as the other times, so I would rather not know for now! I AM eating better though, I think. Very little in the way of sweet food pig-outs (which summed up my pregnancies up to this point, hehe!). I am just not buying any, so there is no choice for me! I am buying loads of strawberry bio yoghurt instead and eating that up with a digestive biscuit when I feel the pull for a load of sugar or pudding! I do MAKE puddings sometimes though - rice pudding is something I have wanted a lot lately, but I only made one once. And ate the WHOLE thing!! A family-sized rice pudding! I would say it was a craving at the time though. I had to have rice pudding, and couldn't get enough of it once it was made! It is sweet but basically really good for me, since it's all milk and rice otherwise. Oh and a spoonful of jam! Mmmmm.... Shame it takes a couple of hours at the least to bake, otherwise I would soooo be putting another one on right now....
Anyway so I am eating better. I did beg Neil to buy me a little Battenburg cake when he nipped to Tesco for milk this week though! That's another thing I keep wanting. I should look up a recipe and make my own - they're lovely but homemade would probably be nicer anyway. I also REALLY want my veg at the moment, which has been the case for my whole pregnancy so far. I sit watching them cook, never mind the meat or rice or whatever is cooking next to them, and just can't wait to eat them, hehe! I love lots of variety on one plate - 4 or 5 different veg on a plate is just EXCITING to me right now! ;) Also I do like a big portion - ideally half the plate with veggies on it and the rest of the meal on the other half. I have been really taken with courgette (which I know is NOT what you call it in the States - zucchini???) this pregnancy and eat that whenever I can. But otherwise, green beans, broccoli, carrots, anything really. Green is the most yummy though...
I am beginning to feel really properly pregnant in the bump department now. I have to walk differently and I just feel big and out of breath a lot. I'm NOT big, in that I'm only 22 weeks pregnant - long way to go yet! ;) But I still feel big. I don't see the midwife now till 28 weeks, but I am pretty sure my bump is the right size for dates so far. The top of my womb is 2 fingerwidths above my tummy button, which is probably spot on for 22 weeks, I think.
My pelvis has been giving me trouble on and off. I do have some pubic bone pain, but it's mild and just nags at me painfully if I move unwisely (!) or do something silly like attempt to push a heavy box sideways along the floor with my foot (d'oh! You'd think I'd have learnt by now!). It's nothing like it was with Arthur's pregnancy. THANKFULLY his was the worst it got, though it has come back to varying degrees with subsequent pregnancies. I read that it gets worse with each pregnancy so I had worried after Arthur was born, about future pregnancies! But it's been better so that is good! I need to take care not to hurt myself there though, by being careful how I move and turn and so on. I am noticing my joints are very loose now, which means that good old Relaxin hormone must be at nice high levels now! My pelvis hurts fairly constantly at the back, and I can't lie on my back for any length of time, especially on the floor, without it becoming unbearable to lie there any more, because my pelvis just feels loose and painful.
My stretch marks at the very front of my bump (around my tummy button) are really starting to be noticable now. Matthew saw them today and gasped! He said, "What's happened to your tummy?!" and I explained to him and Arthur (who came running to see the terrible sight that Matthew was shocked at, haha!) that my skin had just stretched when they were in my tummy, and it's easy to see the stretch marks when my tummy stretches again with a new baby inside, that's all. They touched them carefully and asked if it hurt, and I reassured them that stretch marks don't hurt, and that I don't mind them at all. Those particularly front-of-bump ones are from Matthew :) I only got ones at the sides and at my hips with Arthur. I happen to be really happy with my stretch marks. I don't think I know anybody else who feels this way! I just see them and feel all "fond" in my heart at the sight of them, because they remind me of carrying my babies, which is a treasure more than gold. Also they feel like silk to the touch and that's not a bad thing! At least they're not rough or knobbly! ;)
The boys comment often on how my tummy is getting bigger. They are very excited about it! Arthur was so thrilled today because he wrapped his arms around my tummy (giving me a bear-hug around the waist) and could onnnly just hold his hands around me at the back! He thought that was very exciting! :) He still keeps asking how big the baby is now. On that note - Samuel is now over 11 inches long!!! And he has passed the 1lb mark this week, yay! I can't believe he's big enough to be weighed in pounds instead of just ounces now!
He is wiggly and bumpy and active, and every second of it is delightful to me! His kicks are so much stronger now, but they are still so little compared with how they will be a couple more months down the line. He is often most active during the evening, but not always. This evening he has been quite quiet. He doesn't really have any predictable quiet patches, and seems to wake up whenever I lay myself down to rest my body during the day (usually for a brief moment on the living room floor! Or to breastfeed Benjamin - I love it when Samuel kicks while I'm nursing Benjamin! I have always LOVED being aware of nourishing my two tiniest ones in different ways at the same time - so precious!). Benjamin is having some MAJOR sleep issues at night at the moment (waking most nights at some random time like midnight or 2.30am, and staying awake for a couple of hours, no matter what we try! Very exhausting!!) and I have noticed that Samuel is really vigorously active during the night - one night between 2 and 4.30am (with Benjamin), he barely stopped wiggling and kicking the whole time! It was nice and reassuring, and I adore feeling him bumpling around in there!
The boys do not know his name. So far they haven't really mentioned it. Arthur did ask in passing one time, "What shall we call him?" but they were just heading out of the door to the park so he distracted himself before I could even answer, thankfully! I know the question will come up properly, and I DON'T want to tell them any untruth, but I also can't really tell them Samuel's name in case they tell friends who we don't want to know yet! I DO really really reeeeally want the boys to know his name though...
My milk (having dried up almost completely for a few weeks now) has started to come back in as colostrum, yay! I love seeing colostrum! It's a bit like seeing newborn clothes and nappies in drawers - a sure sign that a new baby is beginning to be imminent, and that's SOOOOOOO exciting!!!!! Benjamin is still breastfeeding as before, though for the last few weeks he has only had very short "feeds". My breasts have been really sore lately and yesterday evening I was leaning over the cot side patting his little bottom, and my right breast was kind of pressed on the cot which was really uncomfortable. When I stood up, I noticed a LEAK on my T-shirt!!! Gold-coloured too, so I was really excited to notice colostrum for the first time! Benjamin is taking longer at the breast these last few days, and seems a bit more interested than before. When he pulls away I do notice a little white liquid, but it's definitely changing/mostly changed to colostrum now. I tried to hand express a little about a week or two ago, and did get a TINY bead which was white, but when I wiped it away, it was sticky and thick, so I knew it was changing to colostrum. I love making colostrum!! It's such special stuff! :)
Hmmm, what else? I'm continuing to feel really tired a lot of the time, but I am definitely getting bursts of "productive" energy too! I am nesting like crazy, which is great news for our very cluttered household, haha! I think keeping on having babies is the only way my poor home will ever see some really deep cleaning! ;) I am not really cleaning as such, more decluttering and clearing with a ruthless mindset! I painted the porch to cover up all the crayon the boys had covered the walls with in there. Soooo fed up of seeing crayon all over my walls!!!! Those are now under lock and key in the school cupboard, thankfully! I have sorted and bagged (with food bags - labelled!) all sorts of things - jigsaw puzzles with broken boxes, crayons, pencils, coloured pencils (I sharpened nearly 200 pencils of all sorts one evening and gave myself a HUGE blister on my thumb, lol!), crafty bits and pieces, etc. I have cleared out the financial paperwork and spent a whole evening shredding (oh that was so much fun. /sarcasm), and made labelled folders for every category of what remained. I have cleared out two drawers in our merchant's chest (the one with many drawers!) and put toys in them (thus clearing floor space, yippeeee!). I have painted samples in my bedroom to see if I might change the colour in there before the boys move in. I think I will paint it to match their bedding and curtains. I may have to get Neil to do some of it (much as I want to do it all myself! I love this kind of thing!!) because I don't want the paint fumes to be too much for me or my little one. We only buy low odour/toxicity paint but even using that for the porch I felt it was too much after a while and had to come away from it. I want to paint the woodwork too but I will have to get someone else to do that :( It's too stinky. That will frustrate me so much because I LOVE decorating!!!! Oh well.
I bought a white blanket box/chest thingy at eBay for very little money, and Neil went to collect it. It was only about an hour's drive away which was good. It's basic, but big capacity, and that's exactly what I wanted! I have now transferred all the arts and crafts stuff out of the school cupboard and put it into the new chest. The house is heaving with arts and crafts things, because I LOVE arts and crafts and keep getting new bits and pieces (or collecting them) to use with my little ones! We don't actually DO stuff often enough, but I have a ton of stuff to store all the same. Now it's allllll stored in the new chest, which is now called the "Arts and Crafts Chest" - it's absolutely FULL of paints, collage stuff, messy mats, aprons, glue, various papers, painting accessories, fabric off-cuts, stickers, kits, and "look and see" items like pine cones, sea shells, etc. I can't believe it's full with ONLY arts and crafts stuff! I had planned to use half of it for that, and the other half for games and puzzles (the boxes for which are cluttering the stairs, ugh). But it's full! The chest will double as something to sit on in the living room, and will take the place of our battered armchair, which is going to the tip to clear space. Can't wait to get rid of the broken 2-seater sofa and replace it with a bright-coloured futon mattress and some cheery floor cushions. We NEED more space in this 600sq ft, 2-bedroom house with just the 2 rooms downstairs, and FIVE energetic boys from the end of the year!!! Neil has no job and we are completely out of money, so we can't possibly move. That is fine though, I am okay with that. I am now just working like crazy to minimise the clutter and maximise the space!
Well that should have probably been in my main blog, but oh well! I got carried away! ;) Just an illustration of how I have been nesting recently. I do some decluttering or clearing out every evening and look forward to it all day long! If Neil takes the boys out to the park (pretty much every afternoon), I eagerly get stuck in to something then too. I painted the porch one of the afternoons they were at the park, which I didn't want to do when they were sleeping upstairs in the evening, because of the paint smell. I am getting the urge to bake lately too, but obviously not strong enough to do much about it yet, haha! I have been wanting to bake brownies or cookies for a while, but just haven't got around to it. Probably for the best! ;) I also feel like making apple crumble and fruity things that are cosy and yummy!
Well there's probably loads more, and I can't actually remember what I HAVE written this post because it has all been so random, but at least I have written stuff down at last! Samuel has just woken up and started sweeping a little foot or something behind my tummy button, so I am going to go and brush my teeth and go to bed and enjoy his sweet little movements for a while. Hopefully Benjamin won't do his 2-hour awake thingy tonight! :S
I'll try to update again soon! Thanks SO much for all the lovely congrats after my post about the scan! I'm glad everyone seems to like his name - I LOVE it, but I'm biased, hehe! Thanks for being happy that I am having my 5th boy. It's a nice antidote to all the "Oh no!", "Oh dear!" or "Oh I'm sorry!" type of responses that I get from real-life friends and acquaintances. *sigh* I have already had a "Are you going to keep trying for your girl?", which is an annoying one! I do understand that one, but I have to explain that we are never trying for a girl, just a BABY, and actually it's great news that it's a boy and I'm very very happy with just boys so far! But it was lovely to read everyone's happy comments! Thank you! :) B, thanks for your email too - I will reply, I am just behind on emails! xx
I am sadder than sad because I didn't get a 20-week belly picture :( That photo is particularly special because it's the only one in my whole pregnancy where I wear the same outfit as all the previous pregnancies at the same stage, and stand in the same place at the same angle, and have a real comparison photo taken. Samuel has no comparison photo to go with all his brothers' ones :( I feel so sad about that! I also haven't got a 22-week belly pic yet, which I'm ALSO sad about!!! Tsk! I just have to sort it out! Each pregnancy times slips away faster and faster, and this time it's like trying to grasp extremely fine sand. Impossible!
So, I will jot down what I can and hopefully get a photo tomorrow and call it 22 weeks (though I'll be 23 weeks the next day). Then at least I am not continuing to miss recording my pregnancy on top of everything else!
I finally started doing my prenatal exercises from the DVD!!!! Yaaaaaay! The bad news is that I've only done it once! But it went fine. I thought I would only be able to attempt the warm up and then be knackered, but it's a gentler routine than I thought, and I just kept assessing how I felt and then starting the next section and the next, and before I knew it, I had done the whole hour-long routine!! :) It includes warm-up, stretching, toning, aerobic exercise, warm-down, and some relaxation at the end. It was great! I didn't feel like it was doing much, and wasn't sore at all over the next couple of days, but I really did feel more "zingy" and like I'd done something good with my body for the rest of the day after doing the exercises, so I must do it again! I had to do the exercises in the kitchen with very little space (I was practically under the kitchen table for some of the floor exercises, haha!) and crumbs on the floor (which reappear mysteriously just moments after I sweep them away?!?! How do they do that?!) so it wasn't at ALL a nice environment to exercise in, and that puts me off to be honest. It's the only place where I can play a DVD though, so I will have to work with it.
I have decided I am gaining NO weight at all this pregnancy, in huge contrast to all my other ones!! Yay! The method I have for achieving this is to never NEVER EVER step on the scales to see. That way, I gain no lbs. Possibly? ;) In other words, I have not checked my weight at all, and am not in any hurry to! I don't want to gain as much as I have the other times, but I feel pretty sure I'm likely gaining at the same rate as the other times, so I would rather not know for now! I AM eating better though, I think. Very little in the way of sweet food pig-outs (which summed up my pregnancies up to this point, hehe!). I am just not buying any, so there is no choice for me! I am buying loads of strawberry bio yoghurt instead and eating that up with a digestive biscuit when I feel the pull for a load of sugar or pudding! I do MAKE puddings sometimes though - rice pudding is something I have wanted a lot lately, but I only made one once. And ate the WHOLE thing!! A family-sized rice pudding! I would say it was a craving at the time though. I had to have rice pudding, and couldn't get enough of it once it was made! It is sweet but basically really good for me, since it's all milk and rice otherwise. Oh and a spoonful of jam! Mmmmm.... Shame it takes a couple of hours at the least to bake, otherwise I would soooo be putting another one on right now....
Anyway so I am eating better. I did beg Neil to buy me a little Battenburg cake when he nipped to Tesco for milk this week though! That's another thing I keep wanting. I should look up a recipe and make my own - they're lovely but homemade would probably be nicer anyway. I also REALLY want my veg at the moment, which has been the case for my whole pregnancy so far. I sit watching them cook, never mind the meat or rice or whatever is cooking next to them, and just can't wait to eat them, hehe! I love lots of variety on one plate - 4 or 5 different veg on a plate is just EXCITING to me right now! ;) Also I do like a big portion - ideally half the plate with veggies on it and the rest of the meal on the other half. I have been really taken with courgette (which I know is NOT what you call it in the States - zucchini???) this pregnancy and eat that whenever I can. But otherwise, green beans, broccoli, carrots, anything really. Green is the most yummy though...
I am beginning to feel really properly pregnant in the bump department now. I have to walk differently and I just feel big and out of breath a lot. I'm NOT big, in that I'm only 22 weeks pregnant - long way to go yet! ;) But I still feel big. I don't see the midwife now till 28 weeks, but I am pretty sure my bump is the right size for dates so far. The top of my womb is 2 fingerwidths above my tummy button, which is probably spot on for 22 weeks, I think.
My pelvis has been giving me trouble on and off. I do have some pubic bone pain, but it's mild and just nags at me painfully if I move unwisely (!) or do something silly like attempt to push a heavy box sideways along the floor with my foot (d'oh! You'd think I'd have learnt by now!). It's nothing like it was with Arthur's pregnancy. THANKFULLY his was the worst it got, though it has come back to varying degrees with subsequent pregnancies. I read that it gets worse with each pregnancy so I had worried after Arthur was born, about future pregnancies! But it's been better so that is good! I need to take care not to hurt myself there though, by being careful how I move and turn and so on. I am noticing my joints are very loose now, which means that good old Relaxin hormone must be at nice high levels now! My pelvis hurts fairly constantly at the back, and I can't lie on my back for any length of time, especially on the floor, without it becoming unbearable to lie there any more, because my pelvis just feels loose and painful.
My stretch marks at the very front of my bump (around my tummy button) are really starting to be noticable now. Matthew saw them today and gasped! He said, "What's happened to your tummy?!" and I explained to him and Arthur (who came running to see the terrible sight that Matthew was shocked at, haha!) that my skin had just stretched when they were in my tummy, and it's easy to see the stretch marks when my tummy stretches again with a new baby inside, that's all. They touched them carefully and asked if it hurt, and I reassured them that stretch marks don't hurt, and that I don't mind them at all. Those particularly front-of-bump ones are from Matthew :) I only got ones at the sides and at my hips with Arthur. I happen to be really happy with my stretch marks. I don't think I know anybody else who feels this way! I just see them and feel all "fond" in my heart at the sight of them, because they remind me of carrying my babies, which is a treasure more than gold. Also they feel like silk to the touch and that's not a bad thing! At least they're not rough or knobbly! ;)
The boys comment often on how my tummy is getting bigger. They are very excited about it! Arthur was so thrilled today because he wrapped his arms around my tummy (giving me a bear-hug around the waist) and could onnnly just hold his hands around me at the back! He thought that was very exciting! :) He still keeps asking how big the baby is now. On that note - Samuel is now over 11 inches long!!! And he has passed the 1lb mark this week, yay! I can't believe he's big enough to be weighed in pounds instead of just ounces now!
He is wiggly and bumpy and active, and every second of it is delightful to me! His kicks are so much stronger now, but they are still so little compared with how they will be a couple more months down the line. He is often most active during the evening, but not always. This evening he has been quite quiet. He doesn't really have any predictable quiet patches, and seems to wake up whenever I lay myself down to rest my body during the day (usually for a brief moment on the living room floor! Or to breastfeed Benjamin - I love it when Samuel kicks while I'm nursing Benjamin! I have always LOVED being aware of nourishing my two tiniest ones in different ways at the same time - so precious!). Benjamin is having some MAJOR sleep issues at night at the moment (waking most nights at some random time like midnight or 2.30am, and staying awake for a couple of hours, no matter what we try! Very exhausting!!) and I have noticed that Samuel is really vigorously active during the night - one night between 2 and 4.30am (with Benjamin), he barely stopped wiggling and kicking the whole time! It was nice and reassuring, and I adore feeling him bumpling around in there!
The boys do not know his name. So far they haven't really mentioned it. Arthur did ask in passing one time, "What shall we call him?" but they were just heading out of the door to the park so he distracted himself before I could even answer, thankfully! I know the question will come up properly, and I DON'T want to tell them any untruth, but I also can't really tell them Samuel's name in case they tell friends who we don't want to know yet! I DO really really reeeeally want the boys to know his name though...
My milk (having dried up almost completely for a few weeks now) has started to come back in as colostrum, yay! I love seeing colostrum! It's a bit like seeing newborn clothes and nappies in drawers - a sure sign that a new baby is beginning to be imminent, and that's SOOOOOOO exciting!!!!! Benjamin is still breastfeeding as before, though for the last few weeks he has only had very short "feeds". My breasts have been really sore lately and yesterday evening I was leaning over the cot side patting his little bottom, and my right breast was kind of pressed on the cot which was really uncomfortable. When I stood up, I noticed a LEAK on my T-shirt!!! Gold-coloured too, so I was really excited to notice colostrum for the first time! Benjamin is taking longer at the breast these last few days, and seems a bit more interested than before. When he pulls away I do notice a little white liquid, but it's definitely changing/mostly changed to colostrum now. I tried to hand express a little about a week or two ago, and did get a TINY bead which was white, but when I wiped it away, it was sticky and thick, so I knew it was changing to colostrum. I love making colostrum!! It's such special stuff! :)
Hmmm, what else? I'm continuing to feel really tired a lot of the time, but I am definitely getting bursts of "productive" energy too! I am nesting like crazy, which is great news for our very cluttered household, haha! I think keeping on having babies is the only way my poor home will ever see some really deep cleaning! ;) I am not really cleaning as such, more decluttering and clearing with a ruthless mindset! I painted the porch to cover up all the crayon the boys had covered the walls with in there. Soooo fed up of seeing crayon all over my walls!!!! Those are now under lock and key in the school cupboard, thankfully! I have sorted and bagged (with food bags - labelled!) all sorts of things - jigsaw puzzles with broken boxes, crayons, pencils, coloured pencils (I sharpened nearly 200 pencils of all sorts one evening and gave myself a HUGE blister on my thumb, lol!), crafty bits and pieces, etc. I have cleared out the financial paperwork and spent a whole evening shredding (oh that was so much fun. /sarcasm), and made labelled folders for every category of what remained. I have cleared out two drawers in our merchant's chest (the one with many drawers!) and put toys in them (thus clearing floor space, yippeeee!). I have painted samples in my bedroom to see if I might change the colour in there before the boys move in. I think I will paint it to match their bedding and curtains. I may have to get Neil to do some of it (much as I want to do it all myself! I love this kind of thing!!) because I don't want the paint fumes to be too much for me or my little one. We only buy low odour/toxicity paint but even using that for the porch I felt it was too much after a while and had to come away from it. I want to paint the woodwork too but I will have to get someone else to do that :( It's too stinky. That will frustrate me so much because I LOVE decorating!!!! Oh well.
I bought a white blanket box/chest thingy at eBay for very little money, and Neil went to collect it. It was only about an hour's drive away which was good. It's basic, but big capacity, and that's exactly what I wanted! I have now transferred all the arts and crafts stuff out of the school cupboard and put it into the new chest. The house is heaving with arts and crafts things, because I LOVE arts and crafts and keep getting new bits and pieces (or collecting them) to use with my little ones! We don't actually DO stuff often enough, but I have a ton of stuff to store all the same. Now it's allllll stored in the new chest, which is now called the "Arts and Crafts Chest" - it's absolutely FULL of paints, collage stuff, messy mats, aprons, glue, various papers, painting accessories, fabric off-cuts, stickers, kits, and "look and see" items like pine cones, sea shells, etc. I can't believe it's full with ONLY arts and crafts stuff! I had planned to use half of it for that, and the other half for games and puzzles (the boxes for which are cluttering the stairs, ugh). But it's full! The chest will double as something to sit on in the living room, and will take the place of our battered armchair, which is going to the tip to clear space. Can't wait to get rid of the broken 2-seater sofa and replace it with a bright-coloured futon mattress and some cheery floor cushions. We NEED more space in this 600sq ft, 2-bedroom house with just the 2 rooms downstairs, and FIVE energetic boys from the end of the year!!! Neil has no job and we are completely out of money, so we can't possibly move. That is fine though, I am okay with that. I am now just working like crazy to minimise the clutter and maximise the space!
Well that should have probably been in my main blog, but oh well! I got carried away! ;) Just an illustration of how I have been nesting recently. I do some decluttering or clearing out every evening and look forward to it all day long! If Neil takes the boys out to the park (pretty much every afternoon), I eagerly get stuck in to something then too. I painted the porch one of the afternoons they were at the park, which I didn't want to do when they were sleeping upstairs in the evening, because of the paint smell. I am getting the urge to bake lately too, but obviously not strong enough to do much about it yet, haha! I have been wanting to bake brownies or cookies for a while, but just haven't got around to it. Probably for the best! ;) I also feel like making apple crumble and fruity things that are cosy and yummy!
Well there's probably loads more, and I can't actually remember what I HAVE written this post because it has all been so random, but at least I have written stuff down at last! Samuel has just woken up and started sweeping a little foot or something behind my tummy button, so I am going to go and brush my teeth and go to bed and enjoy his sweet little movements for a while. Hopefully Benjamin won't do his 2-hour awake thingy tonight! :S
I'll try to update again soon! Thanks SO much for all the lovely congrats after my post about the scan! I'm glad everyone seems to like his name - I LOVE it, but I'm biased, hehe! Thanks for being happy that I am having my 5th boy. It's a nice antidote to all the "Oh no!", "Oh dear!" or "Oh I'm sorry!" type of responses that I get from real-life friends and acquaintances. *sigh* I have already had a "Are you going to keep trying for your girl?", which is an annoying one! I do understand that one, but I have to explain that we are never trying for a girl, just a BABY, and actually it's great news that it's a boy and I'm very very happy with just boys so far! But it was lovely to read everyone's happy comments! Thank you! :) B, thanks for your email too - I will reply, I am just behind on emails! xx
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Back from my 20 week scan!!!
Ahhh, the big question! ;) Which I will tell you the answer to in JUST A MINUTE! I have no time to post much, but just to say the scan went well! I can't tell you how relieved I was when all the organs and things were checking out fine as the lady was doing the scan. She took measurements of the heart and kept pausing and freeze-framing things, and I was holding my breath some of the time! When she said it was all fine, I thanked God that the heart was fine, and then she moved onto the next thing to check and I held my breath again! I'm so so so unbelievably thankful that all the various parts of my little baby were normal and healthy looking. Phew! We did not get any glimpses of the gender during the earlier part of the scan, which I am glad about because I wanted to wait (for once! Usually I am itching to find out as early in the scan as possible! Maybe it was the concern this time that everything was okay?) until the end where they usually ask if we want to know and then show us.
So she asked, and I said yes please, and Cornflake was VERY obliging! ;) AND I found the cable to my scanner - woohoo!!!! So even without my laptop, I CAN show you the ultrasound pictures! :)
Soooo, Cornflake's gender!....
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So so so happy! Five boys!!!!! I can't believe it, even though I knew it (that makes no sense, I know, lol!). I have FIVE sons. Fiiiive sons. Amazing. I'm so grateful to God for all the little boys He is blessing me with! :)
Here are the pictures of his profile. I am SO in love. He is so darling and precious, and the instant I saw his dear little pointy chin I cried out, "Oh! Look at his little chinny!" and then apologised for my mushy outburst, hehe! To me - and I'll have to check this, haven't had chance yet - his profile looks JUST like Nathan's and very similar to Benjamin's too. He reminds me ever so much of Nathan.
His name is Samuel Robert. Well done Annie and Beckstar! :D We LOVE his name! Samuel means "heard of God" or "God has heard" - He certainly heard my prayer for more sweet babies and has blessed me incredibly! I love my God! Robert is the last family name that I have really wanted to use. Some of you might remember that I wanted to use it for Benjamin's middle name but Benjamin Robert IS my brother's whole name and we had enough trouble from family for just naming him Benjamin, sooo.... Robert was my grandfather's name, and his daughters (my mum and her sister) used it for their boys - my cousin is named Robert, and my brother of course has it for a middle name. I'm so happy to honour my grandfather who died when I was one, by using his name! I also just love how it sounds with Samuel.
Samuel!!! Wheeee, now I can use his name here all the time! :D
PLEASE DON'T LET ON ABOUT HIS NAME AT FACEBOOK!!!! My many real-life and church friends follow me there and I don't want them to know until we announce his birth, as is our usual thing. Thanks! :)
I have SO much more detail that I want to write about the scan (including a weird thing about my placenta, that the lady said was nothing to worry about - it's high and anterior, but there's a piece totally separate from it on the back wall. What?!?! Will write more about that another time.) but I have run out of time - the boys are eating dinner and I still need to phone family. I will be back soon to fill in the other details. I am just so happy that it's Samuel! I wanted him from the moment we knew his name :)
Monday, July 26, 2010
20 weeks pregnant! Halfway!! :D
Yay, I am 20 weeks pregnant! I can't believe it! SUCH a fast pregnancy, but then I expected it to be, as in my experience each one goes faster than the previous ones!
I only updated a few days ago so I probably don't have as much as usual to say today. My laptop is still MIA (hopefully being repaired but we haven't heard anything yet!) and I'm typing this on the ancient computer with no spacebar (have to really thump the little square that's underneath it with my thumb, tsk!). Neil usually spends much of the evening using this computer but he has popped out to B&Q for a couple of things, so I have a little time!
My scan is the day after tomorrow! I am beyond excited to see my little one, and just can't wait to know "who" is in there! I really hope the baby does not act modest during the scan!
I don't really know how to start writing about this, but I have a little bit of anxiety about the scan this time. I really can't put my finger on anything too clearly so it's even more confusing - *I'm* confused, so if I try to explain it, it's sure to confuse everybody else, hehe! ;) But I'll try. Yesterday I really wanted to write about it, but thought better of it, and today I'm thinking I will just write my thoughts on it anyway, even if it turns out not to make any sense. I will know what I mean, to read it back (probably!) so that's okay.
I wish I knew the words to explain my thoughts!
This year (and last year I suppose), I have had a fair bit of exposure to friends losing their babies at birth, all due to one diagnosis or another of a condition in the baby which was not compatible with life. All these women are Christians and none would consider termination for a second. They carried their babies to term, gave birth, and said goodbye to their little ones. All of them displayed strength and faith the likes of which I have really not encountered before, and lately these memories have been pressing on me. The most recent online friend to go through this is Ashley. Her baby girl, Hosanna, was born this month with anencephaly and lived 12 minutes. She knew of Hosanna's condition from a scan just 12 days before she was born, and I remember her quoting Job with the verse that says, "Though He slay me, yet I will trust in Him." (I don't know the reference off the top of my head), and that has really summed up her whole attitude and the grace with which she has lived out this painful journey.
In the past five days, that verse has come up three times in random places, where I never ordinarily hear it at all. Yesterday at church, without expecting to, I was really wrestling with all this during the worship time. I mean, I was worshipping God, but also feeling somewhat weighed down with some stuff. After the boys went to their Sunday school class (Neil stayed home with the two little ones yesterday who had been up since crazy.am and desperately needed to spend the morning napping!) the worship time continued, and people brought words of encouragement and prayed aloud. A man was praying, all sorts of joyful praise to God, and right in the middle of it, where it didn't seem to even fit at all, he said, "And though He slay me, yet I will praise Him!" After that I knew God has been speaking to me.
There is a little anxiety that this is preparation for Wednesday, for the possibility that something is wrong with our baby. I know that if that happens, all of this will make perfect sense and I will see that God has been graciously preparing me in the days leading up to it. I'm anxious because it's not Wednesday yet and I just don't know the answer! I have to wait and see. And I so desperately want my precious and much-loved baby to be 100% okay! I know the baby's basic anatomy is okay, from the 12-week scan. But this one is the "Anomoly Scan", where they take a much closer look at all the organs and systems. This scan is the one where my friends have had their devastating news, except for Ashley, who didn't have her first scan until late in pregnancy.
On I wrestled during the worship time on Sunday. I am less anxious about whether the baby is okay than I am about how I respond to the situation if it occurs. Because while I like the idea of saying, "Though He slay me, yet I will trust in Him", would I REALLY do that, really? I can't know, but that's the unknown that makes me the most nervous. I think I would, but I can't know, obviously. I can't begin to fathom how it actually feels to be the mother in that situation, and what depths she must be plunged into emotionally and spiritually as a result. But the thing is, if that happens - if my baby is poorly and will not recover - God MUST be glorified through it. He must. My response HAS to glorify Him, because no matter what happens in life, Jesus Christ is the same, yesterday, today and tomorrow. He does not change. His ways are not my ways, and I have to trust Him and know that He loves me, He loves me, He loves me. He is worthy of nothing but the highest praise and glory, and I want to reflect that no matter what He asks of me, or calls me to. Reflecting God's glory makes a huge impact on those who don't know Him, or those who do but whose walk with God can be transformed by such a witness.
I wanted to ask for prayer yesterday at church but I knew that to explain what I was feeling and thinking to the person who was going to pray with me, would make me cry and I just did not feel like doing that! So I stayed on my own with God and prayed and just let Him close to me. When I got chance to talk to Neil without the boys around (yesterday evening), we talked all about it.
After a lot of prayer, I am thinking that I don't know if God is actually preparing me to receive bad news on Wednesday. I think, more to the point, He was asking me if I am prepared to trust Him even if that DID happen. Am I prepared to give this baby back to Him? That was the struggle of my heart, I think. And now, I *think*, I feel prepared. Of course I have nooooo idea what I'm talking about, and what I think now may mean nothing at all if it comes to ACTUALLY surrendering to God in this way on Wednesday. But I will try, OH I will try! With all my heart! One of the worship songs at the end yesterday had the line, "I choose to fix my eyes on all the blessings you have given me!" and I praised my God joyfully with that song! Every time I sang that line, I could not help but smile so big (FYI - it is hard to sing properly with your lips stretched ear to ear!) and my hand would go to my little baby bump as I sang. God's blessings to me ARE my children, and how He has blessed me! That does not change if He takes one of them away from me. Quite how I am supposed to survive that, I am not sure, but I TRUST HIM, I trust that He will enable me to stand up under the weight of it, in HIS strength and not my own.
So I ended up feeling a lot better about it. NOT anxious about what we'll see on Wednesday. Although a little anxiety has crept back in since, and I am working on praying to keep a lid on that! I just wanted to share about all this before the scan, incase... so that it makes sense if it doesn't all go as well as we were expecting.
Meanwhile I am trying to remain just excited about seeing my little one (healthy or not, I LOVE him! I suppose I should still say "him/her", hehe!), ecstatic about finding out the gender and being able to dispense with any leftover wonderings and finally use a real name for the baby, and so on. I will update here FIRST, hours before Facebook! Please come and check here on Wednesday! My appointment is 3.50pm (GMT +1 in case anyone wonders!) so I think I won't really get chance to update until 6pm or so at the earliest, in case we're seen late, the scan takes extra long for any reason, and then we need to get home and get the boys fed. I might get a quick chance around dinner time if Neil is willing to make food while I phone family and update here quickly (he usually does this happily!). It will have to be a fairly quick post though, and if my laptop still isn't back then I won't be able to post the scan pictures!!! :( But I'll add them as soon as I'm able.
My sweet hubby just got back and has brought me some Starburst sweeties!! I have eaten all the strawberry ones, and that's exactly what I have been wanting for ages! I did buy some strawberry bio yoghurt (MUCH better for me!) on Friday and consumed a large quantity in just a couple of days! It hit the spot better than I thought it would, but I still kept wanting the strawberry sweets. Now I've had them, I feel pretty sure I will just get horrid indigestion, but ah well! ;)
I have not felt too well the last few days. I just feel so heavy and tired all the time, and get headaches easily. It's warm but not too hot (and amazingly I am not minding the hot weather this summer at all - which is the first time on record for me, lol!), but it is becoming increasingly humid and I am just sweating and sweating all day long, and finding it hard to get enough oxygen in the air. I feel breathless when I'm standing upright, and just tired and yucky and queasy if I lie down. I have also had 2 nights in a row now where I have woken lying on my back and feel a bit numb and lightheaded. My arms felt dead and I just didn't feel nice, so I guess it's time to start lying on my side only at night time now! I feel SURE it didn't happen this early before! But the baby has grown hugely in the last week or so.... I need to take the special 20-week belly picture, but since I can't get it off the camera anyway, I haven't got round to it yet. I hope my laptop gets better soon!
I'll update on Wednesday!!!!! Squeeeeee!!!! I hope I will be posting that the baby is just fine and that we know he's a he! Back soon! :)
I only updated a few days ago so I probably don't have as much as usual to say today. My laptop is still MIA (hopefully being repaired but we haven't heard anything yet!) and I'm typing this on the ancient computer with no spacebar (have to really thump the little square that's underneath it with my thumb, tsk!). Neil usually spends much of the evening using this computer but he has popped out to B&Q for a couple of things, so I have a little time!
My scan is the day after tomorrow! I am beyond excited to see my little one, and just can't wait to know "who" is in there! I really hope the baby does not act modest during the scan!
I don't really know how to start writing about this, but I have a little bit of anxiety about the scan this time. I really can't put my finger on anything too clearly so it's even more confusing - *I'm* confused, so if I try to explain it, it's sure to confuse everybody else, hehe! ;) But I'll try. Yesterday I really wanted to write about it, but thought better of it, and today I'm thinking I will just write my thoughts on it anyway, even if it turns out not to make any sense. I will know what I mean, to read it back (probably!) so that's okay.
I wish I knew the words to explain my thoughts!
This year (and last year I suppose), I have had a fair bit of exposure to friends losing their babies at birth, all due to one diagnosis or another of a condition in the baby which was not compatible with life. All these women are Christians and none would consider termination for a second. They carried their babies to term, gave birth, and said goodbye to their little ones. All of them displayed strength and faith the likes of which I have really not encountered before, and lately these memories have been pressing on me. The most recent online friend to go through this is Ashley. Her baby girl, Hosanna, was born this month with anencephaly and lived 12 minutes. She knew of Hosanna's condition from a scan just 12 days before she was born, and I remember her quoting Job with the verse that says, "Though He slay me, yet I will trust in Him." (I don't know the reference off the top of my head), and that has really summed up her whole attitude and the grace with which she has lived out this painful journey.
In the past five days, that verse has come up three times in random places, where I never ordinarily hear it at all. Yesterday at church, without expecting to, I was really wrestling with all this during the worship time. I mean, I was worshipping God, but also feeling somewhat weighed down with some stuff. After the boys went to their Sunday school class (Neil stayed home with the two little ones yesterday who had been up since crazy.am and desperately needed to spend the morning napping!) the worship time continued, and people brought words of encouragement and prayed aloud. A man was praying, all sorts of joyful praise to God, and right in the middle of it, where it didn't seem to even fit at all, he said, "And though He slay me, yet I will praise Him!" After that I knew God has been speaking to me.
There is a little anxiety that this is preparation for Wednesday, for the possibility that something is wrong with our baby. I know that if that happens, all of this will make perfect sense and I will see that God has been graciously preparing me in the days leading up to it. I'm anxious because it's not Wednesday yet and I just don't know the answer! I have to wait and see. And I so desperately want my precious and much-loved baby to be 100% okay! I know the baby's basic anatomy is okay, from the 12-week scan. But this one is the "Anomoly Scan", where they take a much closer look at all the organs and systems. This scan is the one where my friends have had their devastating news, except for Ashley, who didn't have her first scan until late in pregnancy.
On I wrestled during the worship time on Sunday. I am less anxious about whether the baby is okay than I am about how I respond to the situation if it occurs. Because while I like the idea of saying, "Though He slay me, yet I will trust in Him", would I REALLY do that, really? I can't know, but that's the unknown that makes me the most nervous. I think I would, but I can't know, obviously. I can't begin to fathom how it actually feels to be the mother in that situation, and what depths she must be plunged into emotionally and spiritually as a result. But the thing is, if that happens - if my baby is poorly and will not recover - God MUST be glorified through it. He must. My response HAS to glorify Him, because no matter what happens in life, Jesus Christ is the same, yesterday, today and tomorrow. He does not change. His ways are not my ways, and I have to trust Him and know that He loves me, He loves me, He loves me. He is worthy of nothing but the highest praise and glory, and I want to reflect that no matter what He asks of me, or calls me to. Reflecting God's glory makes a huge impact on those who don't know Him, or those who do but whose walk with God can be transformed by such a witness.
I wanted to ask for prayer yesterday at church but I knew that to explain what I was feeling and thinking to the person who was going to pray with me, would make me cry and I just did not feel like doing that! So I stayed on my own with God and prayed and just let Him close to me. When I got chance to talk to Neil without the boys around (yesterday evening), we talked all about it.
After a lot of prayer, I am thinking that I don't know if God is actually preparing me to receive bad news on Wednesday. I think, more to the point, He was asking me if I am prepared to trust Him even if that DID happen. Am I prepared to give this baby back to Him? That was the struggle of my heart, I think. And now, I *think*, I feel prepared. Of course I have nooooo idea what I'm talking about, and what I think now may mean nothing at all if it comes to ACTUALLY surrendering to God in this way on Wednesday. But I will try, OH I will try! With all my heart! One of the worship songs at the end yesterday had the line, "I choose to fix my eyes on all the blessings you have given me!" and I praised my God joyfully with that song! Every time I sang that line, I could not help but smile so big (FYI - it is hard to sing properly with your lips stretched ear to ear!) and my hand would go to my little baby bump as I sang. God's blessings to me ARE my children, and how He has blessed me! That does not change if He takes one of them away from me. Quite how I am supposed to survive that, I am not sure, but I TRUST HIM, I trust that He will enable me to stand up under the weight of it, in HIS strength and not my own.
So I ended up feeling a lot better about it. NOT anxious about what we'll see on Wednesday. Although a little anxiety has crept back in since, and I am working on praying to keep a lid on that! I just wanted to share about all this before the scan, incase... so that it makes sense if it doesn't all go as well as we were expecting.
Meanwhile I am trying to remain just excited about seeing my little one (healthy or not, I LOVE him! I suppose I should still say "him/her", hehe!), ecstatic about finding out the gender and being able to dispense with any leftover wonderings and finally use a real name for the baby, and so on. I will update here FIRST, hours before Facebook! Please come and check here on Wednesday! My appointment is 3.50pm (GMT +1 in case anyone wonders!) so I think I won't really get chance to update until 6pm or so at the earliest, in case we're seen late, the scan takes extra long for any reason, and then we need to get home and get the boys fed. I might get a quick chance around dinner time if Neil is willing to make food while I phone family and update here quickly (he usually does this happily!). It will have to be a fairly quick post though, and if my laptop still isn't back then I won't be able to post the scan pictures!!! :( But I'll add them as soon as I'm able.
My sweet hubby just got back and has brought me some Starburst sweeties!! I have eaten all the strawberry ones, and that's exactly what I have been wanting for ages! I did buy some strawberry bio yoghurt (MUCH better for me!) on Friday and consumed a large quantity in just a couple of days! It hit the spot better than I thought it would, but I still kept wanting the strawberry sweets. Now I've had them, I feel pretty sure I will just get horrid indigestion, but ah well! ;)
I have not felt too well the last few days. I just feel so heavy and tired all the time, and get headaches easily. It's warm but not too hot (and amazingly I am not minding the hot weather this summer at all - which is the first time on record for me, lol!), but it is becoming increasingly humid and I am just sweating and sweating all day long, and finding it hard to get enough oxygen in the air. I feel breathless when I'm standing upright, and just tired and yucky and queasy if I lie down. I have also had 2 nights in a row now where I have woken lying on my back and feel a bit numb and lightheaded. My arms felt dead and I just didn't feel nice, so I guess it's time to start lying on my side only at night time now! I feel SURE it didn't happen this early before! But the baby has grown hugely in the last week or so.... I need to take the special 20-week belly picture, but since I can't get it off the camera anyway, I haven't got round to it yet. I hope my laptop gets better soon!
I'll update on Wednesday!!!!! Squeeeeee!!!! I hope I will be posting that the baby is just fine and that we know he's a he! Back soon! :)
Thursday, July 22, 2010
19 weeks, 3 days - almost halfway there!!!!
[It seems that Cutest Blog on the Blog is having a bit of trouble this week - so my background may not be loading right now, or if it does then VERY slowly. Should be okay by next week. I have changed the code as they suggested, but it's slow loading so far...]
Some exciting milestones coming up!! In 4 more days I will be 20 weeks pregnant, and thus exactly halfway through my pregnancy!! I just can't believe that's possible, it is just going sooooo fast! Then just 2 days later I will have my SCAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!! I'm getting so excited to see my little Cornflakey person, and to find out (oh I hope Cornflake lets us see!) whether it's a boy or a girl (or "a boy or a boy" as I once said earlier in my pregnancy, haha!). I mean, it's sooooo going to be a boy, but that's fine with me. I am just excited to KNOW, and to plan and prepare and start using his name, and all that fun stuff! :) I can't WAIT!! Sarah (our friend from church who watched the boys for Benjamin's big scan) IS able to watch the three older boys this time - yaaaay! So relieved! So we'll take Benjamin and be able to relax and enjoy the scan hopefully, while the boys play train tracks and whatnot at home with Sarah! I'm so glad she is able to help us!
I did go back to InGender.com and check the nub galleries for boy nubs and girl nubs a couple of days ago, just because I wanted to quell any wonderings about whether this baby's nub MIGHT possibly be a girlie one. So funny how even when I am as sure as I can be at the time (back at 12 weeks), give it another month or so and the memory fades enough for some wonderings to come to the surface! ;) So, I went back and looked. Weirdly, looking at the gallery pictures this time, I feel way more confused about nub angles than last time I looked! I felt really "tuned" to what I was seeing (on anyone's nub picture) and found it easy to get them right, but this time I am seeing a ton of boy nubs which looked exactly like girl nubs to me at the 12 week scan, and then a load of girl nubs which looked more like boy nubs at the 12 week scan! They're the SAME pictures that I looked at 7 weeks ago! I guess my "eye" for it has gone! ;)
I think Cornflake IS a boy, and that his nub IS boyish, even though he is sitting up rather than lying flat like they want to see for a good nub shot (the ladies at InGender told me that if he was lying flat, his nub would be at a lower angle so one or two gave me a 50/50 prediction and then a couple more gave a girl prediction). But I am concluding that an absolutely SURE nub shot is the type that I had with Benjamin last time - one that is 90 degrees to the body (or near enough) is without a shadow of a doubt, a boy! ;) Anything less obvious is up for debate, even though an angle seems to be more likely to be a boy nub. There were plenty of FLAT nubs on that boy gallery - and I remembered that Matthew's nub (before I had any knowledge of nubs, thankfully!) at 12 weeks and 2 days was absolutely classic for a girl. I still get the ultrasound pics out and squint at them, and there is absolutely no way his nub would have had ANY boy votes at InGender, even where they know what they're talking about, lol! So it does seem like there's a risk of getting it wrong, UNLESS it's a HIGH angle like Benjamin's was.
I'd love to be surprised one of these days at a scan and find out we're having a girl for the first time, but I strongly doubt that it will be the one next week! ;) I don't think his nub is conclusively a BOY nub as Benjamin's was, but I think it looks much more likely than a girl nub for sure. So therefore, a boy baby! I am waiting for confirmation of that (and expecting it) on Wednesday. Sometimes I wish I didn't see those nubs so clearly though, so that I have NO CLUE until the big scan! On the other hand, it's good to have a heads-up that it's another boy these last two pregnancies. I don't bother with girl names or plans that way, and given that I DO keep producing boys, that seems the healthier route! ;) I don't like to start on the "hoping for a girl" thought pattern, because it gets in the way of my enjoyment of my pregnancy, and delight over the BOY I'm carrying, when I discover that's who he is! :)
My laptop is ever so poorly! :( Tomorrow it is being TAKEN AWAY (Lappy!!!) and I am not sure I will see it again! We can't afford a replacement, obviously, but we've paid a monthly amount for YEARS on the upkeep of this one, and they're supposed to replace it if it's unfixable. I am paranoid though, and feel like they're going to find some loophole or clause which says they can't replace it because of such and such that's wrong with it. It has a big crack down the screen (the bit inside, not the actual touchable screen) which has leaked technical goop (!!) everywhere inside the screen, and has various other issues about the graphics being weird or not there, and so on. The crack is recent, and finally pushing us into sending it off to be fixed!
Anyway, I am not sure if it will be back for the scan, or if it'll be back at ALL! And I have all my camera software on the laptop, not the main computer. I will probably have to upload it to the antique and slow computer that Neil uses during the day and evening, but I am not sure where I've put the software! :S Anyway, my point is, I am really hoping I will be able to get scan pictures up on the day of my scan, but I am not sure if I will be able to (technically speaking) when it comes to it. I will be able to update though, via the other computer, when Neil isn't using it. We have backed up the whole hard drive onto an external one though, so everything is saved.
Thanks for all the lovely comments on my last entry! :) I am excited to see so many of you placing your guess for the baby's name! So much fun to read your guesses!! :) I can't tell you if anyone guessed right! ;) But you'll find out on Wednesday anyway. Any more guesses before then?
My consultant appointment was last week, and it went surprisingly well!! I was glad Heather was with me, and she has been to several consultant appointments with clients in the last month, so it was good that she could give me advanced warning that the wait would be long. Unfortunately I left the house in a hurry without parking money OR a book to read! Tsk! Heather kindly paid for our parking (I gave her a lift as she doesn't drive) and then even the long wait was fine because we got to chat and weren't stressing about how much longer it was going to take, since we were prepared for the long-haul! ;) I can't remember how long it was - over an hour I think... maybe an hour and a half, I don't know. It whizzed by, chatting to Heather! I really enjoy her company and could chat to her for hours! :)
I saw my actual consultant, not the registrar, because when I checked in, Heather told me to insist on seeing him, so I did! I probably would have been seen sooner if I'd seen the registrar, but I wanted to see the consultant. First I went in with the nurse and she surprised me so much. I was all prepared to have to "fight my corner" and not be put off by negative vibes about having this many children and the GBS as well. But she took me into the examination room and had me sit on the bed. Then she got my notes out and I sat watching her. She opened to the obstetric history page and counted out loud with her finger tapping each boy's birth details, "One, two, three, four... This is your fifth baby?" I said yes. Still not looking up, she asked, "And you want a homebirth?" I felt a bit self-conscious but tried to sound confident saying, "Yes." She said, "Last baby was a homebirth?" and I said, "Yes" again. She looked up at me and flipped the notes closed, and said, "So what's the problem?" I had no words for an answer at all, haha! I soooo did not expect anyone to have that kind of response at the clinic! I think I just mumbled something about it being a good question, or something like that! She was so nice, and very cheerful about it. She checked my urine (fine), took my blood pressure (100/60, my usual reading), and then told me the consultant would be through in a minute, and I should just see what he has to say, but she didn't see why there should be a problem having a homebirth. I was not actually going in there to "fight" for a homebirth as such, in fact I am still open to having the baby in hospital, but I am definitely leaning towards preferring a homebirth as before. I don't tend to make my mind up until later in the pregnancy, but I always prefer the idea of a homebirth. It's just so much more practical and straightforward, and EASY for me, and the stress of childcare isn't there (compared with having to go into hospital - sooooo stressful thinking about WHO can stay with the boys, who is WILLING to stay with the boys, HOW will the boys react to us being away from them to have a baby, MISSING them like crazy while I'm away, etc. I can't stand that part of hospital births!). I just wanted to have my options still OPEN and not whisked away because of having 5 babies or whatever.
So the consultant came through and he was soooooooo nice! The nicest and most approachable and friendly consultant I have ever seen! He talked with me about the risks of having a 5th baby vaginally, and said that the only slight risk is that of post-partum haemmorhage, and that is a very small risk. He said that he did not see a reason for me not to have a homebirth. He said if I was having a hospital birth they would probably want to put up a syntocinon drip for the 3rd stage, just to be in control of it from start to finish, but that if I was at home and I started to bleed too heavily, the midwife would give me the syntocinon injection that they use for managed 3rd stages anyway. If it still didn't slow down, they would call for an ambulance. He did not seem concerned, and then Heather said to him that I birth very quickly and efficiently, and that she had been present at the last birth so could confirm it! :) He told me that this reduced my risk even more, and told me that if my labour became prolonged or my body seemed excessively tired by the process, that would increase my risk a little. He said from what Heather had told him, he did not see that happening for me. He said that 4th and 5th babies tend to be born quickly and efficiently, without issues, and he was pleased to hear that this was the case for me with my 4th. He told me he expected to hear about my fast and straightforward birth in the New Year! :) Very encouraging!
Then we briefly discussed the Group B Strep. Obviously they're ASSUMING that I am positive for it again, because it is more likely that I am, since I have been before. But it does not mean I am! I will get tested at 36/37 weeks like last time and find out for sure. The consultant briefly went over the risks associated with GBS again, and was very gracious to me and not remotely condescending. He said that he knew I would have done my research last time so he didn't need to go over all that again with me, and it would be a personal decision for me to make again this time. He asked if I was happy with that (I am). I still haven't decided, as I told him, but I will be praying about it and I think I am more likely to end up choosing to decline antibiotics and have a homebirth again, and watch the baby carefully afterwards. I told him this, and he nodded and said that the fact that Benjamin had no issues with me being GBS + and having no antibiotics actually lowers the risk for this baby, and he reminded me that the risk to the baby is TINY and does not expect there to be any problems if I go that route. I will still take things as they come though. If my waters break before labour begins or something, then I will likely go in an have the antibiotics. Will be praying that they DON'T though! ;)
Soooo that went GREAT! I came out just feeling so high and happy, because it was the last thing I expected! The consultant gave me the go-ahead for a homebirth if I wanted one, though he said if I develop any further complications later in the pregnancy I will need to go back and discuss those with him (he gave the example of the baby being breech). My own personal doula has actually started a turn of events at my local hospital (it's a BIG hospital too!) which has ended up with midwives going on a study day called "A Day at the Breech" or something like that, and vaginal breech deliveries are now happening as more of a norm at the hospital as a result!!!! FABULOUS!!! She won't take credit because she says it was a series of events and other people were involved, blah blah, but SHE started it all off with a client who had a breech baby and was not about to have a c-section for it! They did a lot of research and put in a lot of work meeting with people at the hospital and being assertive at the birth, and they were careful in monitoring the labour and birth, but she had her successful breech birth, and Heather took it further with the hospital after her client, contacting the people who run "A Day at the Breech" and setting up the opening for the training day! GOOD FOR HER!!! I hope that if I do have a breech baby I will be able to give birth naturally. I do NOT think a breech baby is a reason for surgery! Neil was a natural breech birth! :)
Anyway, got off track there! ;) So I am really pleased about that!
Let's see, what update is there about my little person and my general pregnant state? The baby has been having a growth spurt these last couple of weeks. I can't remember if I said in the last entry, but Babycentre's email said that from 17-20 weeks, there is a huuuuuge growth spurt. The baby more than doubles its weight in that time! Yikes! And goes from about 13cm long (head to bottom) to 16.5cm!
Soooo just before 19 weeks I became absolutely EXHAUSTED, just physically. I don't know why it wasn't so intense sooner, but I knew that baby was doing some serious growing by 19 weeks, I can tell you! I have ended up sleeping nearly all morning most mornings this week (wonderful Neil!!), and STILL wake up at the end of Benjamin's morning nap feeling like I haven't had enough sleep and just soooo tired out. I have trouble staying awake in the afternoons, and just yawn and yawn my way through the evenings. I don't feel sleepy, like sleep deprived. Just physically exhausted like I have been out doing strenuous stuff all day long in fresh air. Not unwell in any way, just TIRED! I also notice a bigger appetite this week, some of the time - notably in the evenings, which I didn't have before. I *think* my morning sickness MIGHT be finally gone...! I keep saying that, hehe! Truthfully, I'm not sure yet, I have only had a couple of days again without feeling nauseous, and I guess I did have a little mild queasiness yesterday... Anyway, hopefully it's GONE now. It has lasted the longest of all my pregnancies! At least it's very mild and manageable, and I am eating normally. It's just a bit of a yucky nuisance, that's all really.
This week for the first time I am noticing I really would like to eat a load of sweet stuff during the evening. This is where I think I have started to pig out on said stuff, from this point onwards in my previous pregnancies! ;) The urge is so strong! But I am fighting it at the moment. I have always just given in and enjoyed it before, but I am going to try not to this time. I also MUST find a way to do the prenatal exercise DVD at least a couple of times a week! It's driving me crazy that I can't because we have no set-up to allow me to do so! Oh well. Hopefully I will still figure something out and get chance to do that. I never exercised in my pregnancies before (or afterwards - how terrible!), and I really want to change that this time.
I have had my first mini craving this week! Strawberry ANYTHING, except for actual strawberries, lol! I don't mind strawberries, but what I am craving is strawberry flavoured sweet things, like strawberry ice-cream, strawberry sweets (chewits and those strawberries and cream boiled sweets), strawberry mousse - basically anything pink and with a creamy or chewy aspect to it, that's what I am craving! I have never had a craving quite like it, but at least it's not overwhelmingly strong. And I have not fed that craving AT ALL so far. I just want the stuff! I am not eating it. Chewits are probably the thing I want most out of all the above. Maybe strawberry yoghurt will suffice? I can't say it's something I want to run out and buy in the middle of the night, but I think I will get some - it's good for me too! :)
I have a few "girl" cravings that I don't think I've had before, but I am seeing them as the opportunity to prove that you can have girl cravings and still produce a boy! ;) Fruits and sweeties are the main things. Still off salty things, and not particularly drawn to chocolate (though I am not OFF it, hehe!) unlike the other pregnancies. There's plenty of time for that to change though! ;)
I know the tiny one has had a growth spurt now, because just YESTERDAY I was suddenly a different size and shape! I look properly pregnant now and fill out my maternity clothes properly too. I wore a maternity dress yesterday evening and was surprised at how big I looked in it when I looked in the mirror! I did not expect to see what I saw, because I did not look like that just a couple of days before! In the space of 5 days, the top of my womb has gone from 2 fingerwidths below my tummy button to 1 fingerwidth below it yesterday morning. And today (I kid you not) it is AT my tummy button. My bump is visible growing widthways and outwards too, just this week! No wonder I have been feeling tired!
The kicks I am getting are becoming much stronger in the past week or so, and not just to do with the strength of them - often it's more to do with the fact that the baby's limbs seem so much BIGGER suddenly. They pack a bigger punch! ;) They are still not as hefty as Matthew's kicks, but then I have yet to hear of a baby who was quite so active or strong in utero as Matthew in the first half of pregnancy, lol! I think Benjamin was very similar to this baby as far as movement goes, so far. I am now feeling kicks and movements when I'm upright or walking about, not just when I am lying flat or reclining. It's laughable to me that I was lying on my tummy just a week or two ago! I'm sort of like a plank on a ball if I try that now, hahaha! It's soooo different, just in such a short space of time. My centre of balance is different since the day before yesterday. I will be standing on the stairs, and lift my foot to take the next step up, and out of nowhere, for no reason whatsoever, start flailing my limbs about trying to prevent myself falling sideways! ;) I went up the ladder into the loft yesterday - tsk tsk, so naughty! I know. I won't be doing that any more :( But I was sooooo overcome with the urge to sort and clear up there! I have never done that since we've lived here (nearly 9 years!), but I feel desperate to now. I did clear and throw out FIVE boxfuls of stuff though, which feels wonderful! :D
Oh and I am also waddling, as of today! ;) I am having to walk with a slightly different posture today, without really thinking about it, just to balance out the bump, and I was waddling to the kitchen to get something this afternoon when it hit me that I was waddling! Hehe! So, here comes the second half of pregnancy and all the precious joys that go with it! I love the waddling and even the stretch marks - it's all evidence of such a precious blessing and I would never want to wish it away. It will be over before I can blink anyway, and oh how I'll miss the gift of being pregnant when I can no longer have children, and wish that I could experience it again for just one more moment. My stretch marks will be a permanent reminder that I know I will be grateful to look upon one day (not that I actually mind looking upon them even now!). I am LOVING this stage of my life, and so incredibly thankful. And praying praying PRAYING that there will still be more babies to come! :)
I think that is all! Oh wait - from 20 weeks the baby's length will be from head to foot and not head to bottom, and at 20 weeks it says the baby is over 10 inches long!!! Getting so big!
I am definitely nesting! It's so good for my household for me to be pregnant every year or so, hehe! ;) It would never get the attention that nesting affords it otherwise! Of course it does get neglected during morning sickness, so maybe it's just balancing out?! I have listed a zillion things that I want to DO to every room in the house, and done all the measuring and drawing (room plans) for swapping bedrooms. We are putting our big bed in storage (Neil's brother is storing it for us, hopefully), and I won a 4ft "small double" bed at eBay for £21!!! It was a few roads away so cost nothing really to pick up! :) It's in pieces in the car right now - just a plain pine bedframe. Neil took the old mattress they insisted on us collecting to the TIP! No way do I want to use somebody else's old mattress, even WITHOUT a brand new baby snuggled in next to me! I need to buy a new mattress at some point, but I'm just looking out for good deals on good quality mattresses, and trying to figure out which are the best types for a baby to lie on (ie. I don't want one with big dips and "buttons" in the mattress! NOT comfy - or safe?! - for a baby!). I want one that's a flat as possible, and medium firm ideally. But not cheap and uncomfy. A small double is going to be that little bit more spacious for co-sleeping (which is the natural sleep solution for allll the breastfeeding at night, for me, though we'll have the Amby or a cot for the baby to nap in, and spend some of the night in eventually), and it fits easily into the smaller bedroom that I'll be moving into when the boys all move into the bigger bedroom so that all 4 can share. It's NOT big enough for a "marital bed", but in a way I'm sort of hoping the fact that it's bigger than a single will at least give outsiders who might see it some vague impression that we are a husband and wife who still sleep together! :S We DON'T, and haven't since I was pregnant with Matthew (seriously!), but because we're perfectly happy with the arrangement, and it works so well for the whole family (and doesn't seem to be uhm, preventing the conception of further babies! ;) ) it seems crazy to continue having a queen sized bed in our tiny 2-bedroom house when we just don't need a bed that size! And I shouldn't care what anyone else thinks!!! But I admit I feel less comfortable with someone seeing that we only have single beds in our home, than if there was a bed around which COULD pass as a bed for two people! :) Silly.
I really want to PAINT the house! I know, paint fumes and pregnancy... I still want to do it! It's not awfully practical since there's furniture/clutter against walls everywhere, and little people running about all the time, but I do SO want to paint away the crayon all over the downstairs, and paint the bigger bedroom to co-ordinate with the boys' bedding and curtains for when they move in there. I also want to build a LONG chest with a lid that has a big capacity - partly to use to sit on, and partly to store all our arts and crafts supplies, games and puzzles which are cluttering up various other parts of the house (including the stairs!!). I can't find anything big enough for my liking to buy ready made, never mind the amount something like that would cost! I always end up desperate to BUILD something when pregnant, haha! ;) It would be lockable, and we are planning to get rid of both our sofa AND the armchair in the living room, and not replace them! Hopefully the chest would be a bit of extra seating (albeit not the comfiest, but something to perch on nonetheless!) as well as slim-fitting storage - giving much more space than the armchair that used to be in its place. Instead of the sofa, we're planning a pile of huge floor cushions for the boys to relax on and look at books. They only really use the sofa for this, but they do it many many times a day. Floor cushions instead of a sofa would make the room much more spacious. Also it would stop Benjamin climbing the sofa until he's on the window sill!!! :-O Right now we have both sofa and armchair turned to face the walls, which just looks SO NICE. *sigh* But it's necessary - that boy climbs from floor to teetering on the top of an armchair back in a few seconds flat!
Anyway! I have a TON that I want to do, and lots of decluttering and sorting as well. Nesting is a marvellous thing, and JUST what this house needs right now to try to space-save as much as possible! I just hope it lasts a good while, because I really need that extra motivation! Neil is currently job searching, and my time might be limited to have an hour or two a day to really tackle this stuff, once he gets a job.
Well I have a headache and need to go to bed now. Hopefully I will have no trouble updating on the day of the scan next week! Six days to gooooo! :) I plan to update here at my blog several hours before I share the news at Facebook - please come here to find out!!! I so don't want Facebook to take over my blog! :S But please don't tell a thing at Facebook on my wall until I announce it there. The name of the baby will be permanently HUSH-HUSH at Facebook until the birth announcement, so please don't let slip there! :)
Oh! My 18 week belly picture is up in the gallery at LAST! I am so sad that I missed 14 weeks AND 16 weeks! :( I'll post another at 20 weeks, hopefully, if I have a laptop or camera software that I've figured out! I'll TAKE a photo ready, anyway! I think the 20 week one is the one I always do the same as all the previous pregnancies at 20 weeks, for comparison - the first full photo rather than just cropped of my bump. I'll try to remember to do the same again! :)
Some exciting milestones coming up!! In 4 more days I will be 20 weeks pregnant, and thus exactly halfway through my pregnancy!! I just can't believe that's possible, it is just going sooooo fast! Then just 2 days later I will have my SCAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!! I'm getting so excited to see my little Cornflakey person, and to find out (oh I hope Cornflake lets us see!) whether it's a boy or a girl (or "a boy or a boy" as I once said earlier in my pregnancy, haha!). I mean, it's sooooo going to be a boy, but that's fine with me. I am just excited to KNOW, and to plan and prepare and start using his name, and all that fun stuff! :) I can't WAIT!! Sarah (our friend from church who watched the boys for Benjamin's big scan) IS able to watch the three older boys this time - yaaaay! So relieved! So we'll take Benjamin and be able to relax and enjoy the scan hopefully, while the boys play train tracks and whatnot at home with Sarah! I'm so glad she is able to help us!
I did go back to InGender.com and check the nub galleries for boy nubs and girl nubs a couple of days ago, just because I wanted to quell any wonderings about whether this baby's nub MIGHT possibly be a girlie one. So funny how even when I am as sure as I can be at the time (back at 12 weeks), give it another month or so and the memory fades enough for some wonderings to come to the surface! ;) So, I went back and looked. Weirdly, looking at the gallery pictures this time, I feel way more confused about nub angles than last time I looked! I felt really "tuned" to what I was seeing (on anyone's nub picture) and found it easy to get them right, but this time I am seeing a ton of boy nubs which looked exactly like girl nubs to me at the 12 week scan, and then a load of girl nubs which looked more like boy nubs at the 12 week scan! They're the SAME pictures that I looked at 7 weeks ago! I guess my "eye" for it has gone! ;)
I think Cornflake IS a boy, and that his nub IS boyish, even though he is sitting up rather than lying flat like they want to see for a good nub shot (the ladies at InGender told me that if he was lying flat, his nub would be at a lower angle so one or two gave me a 50/50 prediction and then a couple more gave a girl prediction). But I am concluding that an absolutely SURE nub shot is the type that I had with Benjamin last time - one that is 90 degrees to the body (or near enough) is without a shadow of a doubt, a boy! ;) Anything less obvious is up for debate, even though an angle seems to be more likely to be a boy nub. There were plenty of FLAT nubs on that boy gallery - and I remembered that Matthew's nub (before I had any knowledge of nubs, thankfully!) at 12 weeks and 2 days was absolutely classic for a girl. I still get the ultrasound pics out and squint at them, and there is absolutely no way his nub would have had ANY boy votes at InGender, even where they know what they're talking about, lol! So it does seem like there's a risk of getting it wrong, UNLESS it's a HIGH angle like Benjamin's was.
I'd love to be surprised one of these days at a scan and find out we're having a girl for the first time, but I strongly doubt that it will be the one next week! ;) I don't think his nub is conclusively a BOY nub as Benjamin's was, but I think it looks much more likely than a girl nub for sure. So therefore, a boy baby! I am waiting for confirmation of that (and expecting it) on Wednesday. Sometimes I wish I didn't see those nubs so clearly though, so that I have NO CLUE until the big scan! On the other hand, it's good to have a heads-up that it's another boy these last two pregnancies. I don't bother with girl names or plans that way, and given that I DO keep producing boys, that seems the healthier route! ;) I don't like to start on the "hoping for a girl" thought pattern, because it gets in the way of my enjoyment of my pregnancy, and delight over the BOY I'm carrying, when I discover that's who he is! :)
My laptop is ever so poorly! :( Tomorrow it is being TAKEN AWAY (Lappy!!!) and I am not sure I will see it again! We can't afford a replacement, obviously, but we've paid a monthly amount for YEARS on the upkeep of this one, and they're supposed to replace it if it's unfixable. I am paranoid though, and feel like they're going to find some loophole or clause which says they can't replace it because of such and such that's wrong with it. It has a big crack down the screen (the bit inside, not the actual touchable screen) which has leaked technical goop (!!) everywhere inside the screen, and has various other issues about the graphics being weird or not there, and so on. The crack is recent, and finally pushing us into sending it off to be fixed!
Anyway, I am not sure if it will be back for the scan, or if it'll be back at ALL! And I have all my camera software on the laptop, not the main computer. I will probably have to upload it to the antique and slow computer that Neil uses during the day and evening, but I am not sure where I've put the software! :S Anyway, my point is, I am really hoping I will be able to get scan pictures up on the day of my scan, but I am not sure if I will be able to (technically speaking) when it comes to it. I will be able to update though, via the other computer, when Neil isn't using it. We have backed up the whole hard drive onto an external one though, so everything is saved.
Thanks for all the lovely comments on my last entry! :) I am excited to see so many of you placing your guess for the baby's name! So much fun to read your guesses!! :) I can't tell you if anyone guessed right! ;) But you'll find out on Wednesday anyway. Any more guesses before then?
My consultant appointment was last week, and it went surprisingly well!! I was glad Heather was with me, and she has been to several consultant appointments with clients in the last month, so it was good that she could give me advanced warning that the wait would be long. Unfortunately I left the house in a hurry without parking money OR a book to read! Tsk! Heather kindly paid for our parking (I gave her a lift as she doesn't drive) and then even the long wait was fine because we got to chat and weren't stressing about how much longer it was going to take, since we were prepared for the long-haul! ;) I can't remember how long it was - over an hour I think... maybe an hour and a half, I don't know. It whizzed by, chatting to Heather! I really enjoy her company and could chat to her for hours! :)
I saw my actual consultant, not the registrar, because when I checked in, Heather told me to insist on seeing him, so I did! I probably would have been seen sooner if I'd seen the registrar, but I wanted to see the consultant. First I went in with the nurse and she surprised me so much. I was all prepared to have to "fight my corner" and not be put off by negative vibes about having this many children and the GBS as well. But she took me into the examination room and had me sit on the bed. Then she got my notes out and I sat watching her. She opened to the obstetric history page and counted out loud with her finger tapping each boy's birth details, "One, two, three, four... This is your fifth baby?" I said yes. Still not looking up, she asked, "And you want a homebirth?" I felt a bit self-conscious but tried to sound confident saying, "Yes." She said, "Last baby was a homebirth?" and I said, "Yes" again. She looked up at me and flipped the notes closed, and said, "So what's the problem?" I had no words for an answer at all, haha! I soooo did not expect anyone to have that kind of response at the clinic! I think I just mumbled something about it being a good question, or something like that! She was so nice, and very cheerful about it. She checked my urine (fine), took my blood pressure (100/60, my usual reading), and then told me the consultant would be through in a minute, and I should just see what he has to say, but she didn't see why there should be a problem having a homebirth. I was not actually going in there to "fight" for a homebirth as such, in fact I am still open to having the baby in hospital, but I am definitely leaning towards preferring a homebirth as before. I don't tend to make my mind up until later in the pregnancy, but I always prefer the idea of a homebirth. It's just so much more practical and straightforward, and EASY for me, and the stress of childcare isn't there (compared with having to go into hospital - sooooo stressful thinking about WHO can stay with the boys, who is WILLING to stay with the boys, HOW will the boys react to us being away from them to have a baby, MISSING them like crazy while I'm away, etc. I can't stand that part of hospital births!). I just wanted to have my options still OPEN and not whisked away because of having 5 babies or whatever.
So the consultant came through and he was soooooooo nice! The nicest and most approachable and friendly consultant I have ever seen! He talked with me about the risks of having a 5th baby vaginally, and said that the only slight risk is that of post-partum haemmorhage, and that is a very small risk. He said that he did not see a reason for me not to have a homebirth. He said if I was having a hospital birth they would probably want to put up a syntocinon drip for the 3rd stage, just to be in control of it from start to finish, but that if I was at home and I started to bleed too heavily, the midwife would give me the syntocinon injection that they use for managed 3rd stages anyway. If it still didn't slow down, they would call for an ambulance. He did not seem concerned, and then Heather said to him that I birth very quickly and efficiently, and that she had been present at the last birth so could confirm it! :) He told me that this reduced my risk even more, and told me that if my labour became prolonged or my body seemed excessively tired by the process, that would increase my risk a little. He said from what Heather had told him, he did not see that happening for me. He said that 4th and 5th babies tend to be born quickly and efficiently, without issues, and he was pleased to hear that this was the case for me with my 4th. He told me he expected to hear about my fast and straightforward birth in the New Year! :) Very encouraging!
Then we briefly discussed the Group B Strep. Obviously they're ASSUMING that I am positive for it again, because it is more likely that I am, since I have been before. But it does not mean I am! I will get tested at 36/37 weeks like last time and find out for sure. The consultant briefly went over the risks associated with GBS again, and was very gracious to me and not remotely condescending. He said that he knew I would have done my research last time so he didn't need to go over all that again with me, and it would be a personal decision for me to make again this time. He asked if I was happy with that (I am). I still haven't decided, as I told him, but I will be praying about it and I think I am more likely to end up choosing to decline antibiotics and have a homebirth again, and watch the baby carefully afterwards. I told him this, and he nodded and said that the fact that Benjamin had no issues with me being GBS + and having no antibiotics actually lowers the risk for this baby, and he reminded me that the risk to the baby is TINY and does not expect there to be any problems if I go that route. I will still take things as they come though. If my waters break before labour begins or something, then I will likely go in an have the antibiotics. Will be praying that they DON'T though! ;)
Soooo that went GREAT! I came out just feeling so high and happy, because it was the last thing I expected! The consultant gave me the go-ahead for a homebirth if I wanted one, though he said if I develop any further complications later in the pregnancy I will need to go back and discuss those with him (he gave the example of the baby being breech). My own personal doula has actually started a turn of events at my local hospital (it's a BIG hospital too!) which has ended up with midwives going on a study day called "A Day at the Breech" or something like that, and vaginal breech deliveries are now happening as more of a norm at the hospital as a result!!!! FABULOUS!!! She won't take credit because she says it was a series of events and other people were involved, blah blah, but SHE started it all off with a client who had a breech baby and was not about to have a c-section for it! They did a lot of research and put in a lot of work meeting with people at the hospital and being assertive at the birth, and they were careful in monitoring the labour and birth, but she had her successful breech birth, and Heather took it further with the hospital after her client, contacting the people who run "A Day at the Breech" and setting up the opening for the training day! GOOD FOR HER!!! I hope that if I do have a breech baby I will be able to give birth naturally. I do NOT think a breech baby is a reason for surgery! Neil was a natural breech birth! :)
Anyway, got off track there! ;) So I am really pleased about that!
Let's see, what update is there about my little person and my general pregnant state? The baby has been having a growth spurt these last couple of weeks. I can't remember if I said in the last entry, but Babycentre's email said that from 17-20 weeks, there is a huuuuuge growth spurt. The baby more than doubles its weight in that time! Yikes! And goes from about 13cm long (head to bottom) to 16.5cm!
Soooo just before 19 weeks I became absolutely EXHAUSTED, just physically. I don't know why it wasn't so intense sooner, but I knew that baby was doing some serious growing by 19 weeks, I can tell you! I have ended up sleeping nearly all morning most mornings this week (wonderful Neil!!), and STILL wake up at the end of Benjamin's morning nap feeling like I haven't had enough sleep and just soooo tired out. I have trouble staying awake in the afternoons, and just yawn and yawn my way through the evenings. I don't feel sleepy, like sleep deprived. Just physically exhausted like I have been out doing strenuous stuff all day long in fresh air. Not unwell in any way, just TIRED! I also notice a bigger appetite this week, some of the time - notably in the evenings, which I didn't have before. I *think* my morning sickness MIGHT be finally gone...! I keep saying that, hehe! Truthfully, I'm not sure yet, I have only had a couple of days again without feeling nauseous, and I guess I did have a little mild queasiness yesterday... Anyway, hopefully it's GONE now. It has lasted the longest of all my pregnancies! At least it's very mild and manageable, and I am eating normally. It's just a bit of a yucky nuisance, that's all really.
This week for the first time I am noticing I really would like to eat a load of sweet stuff during the evening. This is where I think I have started to pig out on said stuff, from this point onwards in my previous pregnancies! ;) The urge is so strong! But I am fighting it at the moment. I have always just given in and enjoyed it before, but I am going to try not to this time. I also MUST find a way to do the prenatal exercise DVD at least a couple of times a week! It's driving me crazy that I can't because we have no set-up to allow me to do so! Oh well. Hopefully I will still figure something out and get chance to do that. I never exercised in my pregnancies before (or afterwards - how terrible!), and I really want to change that this time.
I have had my first mini craving this week! Strawberry ANYTHING, except for actual strawberries, lol! I don't mind strawberries, but what I am craving is strawberry flavoured sweet things, like strawberry ice-cream, strawberry sweets (chewits and those strawberries and cream boiled sweets), strawberry mousse - basically anything pink and with a creamy or chewy aspect to it, that's what I am craving! I have never had a craving quite like it, but at least it's not overwhelmingly strong. And I have not fed that craving AT ALL so far. I just want the stuff! I am not eating it. Chewits are probably the thing I want most out of all the above. Maybe strawberry yoghurt will suffice? I can't say it's something I want to run out and buy in the middle of the night, but I think I will get some - it's good for me too! :)
I have a few "girl" cravings that I don't think I've had before, but I am seeing them as the opportunity to prove that you can have girl cravings and still produce a boy! ;) Fruits and sweeties are the main things. Still off salty things, and not particularly drawn to chocolate (though I am not OFF it, hehe!) unlike the other pregnancies. There's plenty of time for that to change though! ;)
I know the tiny one has had a growth spurt now, because just YESTERDAY I was suddenly a different size and shape! I look properly pregnant now and fill out my maternity clothes properly too. I wore a maternity dress yesterday evening and was surprised at how big I looked in it when I looked in the mirror! I did not expect to see what I saw, because I did not look like that just a couple of days before! In the space of 5 days, the top of my womb has gone from 2 fingerwidths below my tummy button to 1 fingerwidth below it yesterday morning. And today (I kid you not) it is AT my tummy button. My bump is visible growing widthways and outwards too, just this week! No wonder I have been feeling tired!
The kicks I am getting are becoming much stronger in the past week or so, and not just to do with the strength of them - often it's more to do with the fact that the baby's limbs seem so much BIGGER suddenly. They pack a bigger punch! ;) They are still not as hefty as Matthew's kicks, but then I have yet to hear of a baby who was quite so active or strong in utero as Matthew in the first half of pregnancy, lol! I think Benjamin was very similar to this baby as far as movement goes, so far. I am now feeling kicks and movements when I'm upright or walking about, not just when I am lying flat or reclining. It's laughable to me that I was lying on my tummy just a week or two ago! I'm sort of like a plank on a ball if I try that now, hahaha! It's soooo different, just in such a short space of time. My centre of balance is different since the day before yesterday. I will be standing on the stairs, and lift my foot to take the next step up, and out of nowhere, for no reason whatsoever, start flailing my limbs about trying to prevent myself falling sideways! ;) I went up the ladder into the loft yesterday - tsk tsk, so naughty! I know. I won't be doing that any more :( But I was sooooo overcome with the urge to sort and clear up there! I have never done that since we've lived here (nearly 9 years!), but I feel desperate to now. I did clear and throw out FIVE boxfuls of stuff though, which feels wonderful! :D
Oh and I am also waddling, as of today! ;) I am having to walk with a slightly different posture today, without really thinking about it, just to balance out the bump, and I was waddling to the kitchen to get something this afternoon when it hit me that I was waddling! Hehe! So, here comes the second half of pregnancy and all the precious joys that go with it! I love the waddling and even the stretch marks - it's all evidence of such a precious blessing and I would never want to wish it away. It will be over before I can blink anyway, and oh how I'll miss the gift of being pregnant when I can no longer have children, and wish that I could experience it again for just one more moment. My stretch marks will be a permanent reminder that I know I will be grateful to look upon one day (not that I actually mind looking upon them even now!). I am LOVING this stage of my life, and so incredibly thankful. And praying praying PRAYING that there will still be more babies to come! :)
I think that is all! Oh wait - from 20 weeks the baby's length will be from head to foot and not head to bottom, and at 20 weeks it says the baby is over 10 inches long!!! Getting so big!
I am definitely nesting! It's so good for my household for me to be pregnant every year or so, hehe! ;) It would never get the attention that nesting affords it otherwise! Of course it does get neglected during morning sickness, so maybe it's just balancing out?! I have listed a zillion things that I want to DO to every room in the house, and done all the measuring and drawing (room plans) for swapping bedrooms. We are putting our big bed in storage (Neil's brother is storing it for us, hopefully), and I won a 4ft "small double" bed at eBay for £21!!! It was a few roads away so cost nothing really to pick up! :) It's in pieces in the car right now - just a plain pine bedframe. Neil took the old mattress they insisted on us collecting to the TIP! No way do I want to use somebody else's old mattress, even WITHOUT a brand new baby snuggled in next to me! I need to buy a new mattress at some point, but I'm just looking out for good deals on good quality mattresses, and trying to figure out which are the best types for a baby to lie on (ie. I don't want one with big dips and "buttons" in the mattress! NOT comfy - or safe?! - for a baby!). I want one that's a flat as possible, and medium firm ideally. But not cheap and uncomfy. A small double is going to be that little bit more spacious for co-sleeping (which is the natural sleep solution for allll the breastfeeding at night, for me, though we'll have the Amby or a cot for the baby to nap in, and spend some of the night in eventually), and it fits easily into the smaller bedroom that I'll be moving into when the boys all move into the bigger bedroom so that all 4 can share. It's NOT big enough for a "marital bed", but in a way I'm sort of hoping the fact that it's bigger than a single will at least give outsiders who might see it some vague impression that we are a husband and wife who still sleep together! :S We DON'T, and haven't since I was pregnant with Matthew (seriously!), but because we're perfectly happy with the arrangement, and it works so well for the whole family (and doesn't seem to be uhm, preventing the conception of further babies! ;) ) it seems crazy to continue having a queen sized bed in our tiny 2-bedroom house when we just don't need a bed that size! And I shouldn't care what anyone else thinks!!! But I admit I feel less comfortable with someone seeing that we only have single beds in our home, than if there was a bed around which COULD pass as a bed for two people! :) Silly.
I really want to PAINT the house! I know, paint fumes and pregnancy... I still want to do it! It's not awfully practical since there's furniture/clutter against walls everywhere, and little people running about all the time, but I do SO want to paint away the crayon all over the downstairs, and paint the bigger bedroom to co-ordinate with the boys' bedding and curtains for when they move in there. I also want to build a LONG chest with a lid that has a big capacity - partly to use to sit on, and partly to store all our arts and crafts supplies, games and puzzles which are cluttering up various other parts of the house (including the stairs!!). I can't find anything big enough for my liking to buy ready made, never mind the amount something like that would cost! I always end up desperate to BUILD something when pregnant, haha! ;) It would be lockable, and we are planning to get rid of both our sofa AND the armchair in the living room, and not replace them! Hopefully the chest would be a bit of extra seating (albeit not the comfiest, but something to perch on nonetheless!) as well as slim-fitting storage - giving much more space than the armchair that used to be in its place. Instead of the sofa, we're planning a pile of huge floor cushions for the boys to relax on and look at books. They only really use the sofa for this, but they do it many many times a day. Floor cushions instead of a sofa would make the room much more spacious. Also it would stop Benjamin climbing the sofa until he's on the window sill!!! :-O Right now we have both sofa and armchair turned to face the walls, which just looks SO NICE. *sigh* But it's necessary - that boy climbs from floor to teetering on the top of an armchair back in a few seconds flat!
Anyway! I have a TON that I want to do, and lots of decluttering and sorting as well. Nesting is a marvellous thing, and JUST what this house needs right now to try to space-save as much as possible! I just hope it lasts a good while, because I really need that extra motivation! Neil is currently job searching, and my time might be limited to have an hour or two a day to really tackle this stuff, once he gets a job.
Well I have a headache and need to go to bed now. Hopefully I will have no trouble updating on the day of the scan next week! Six days to gooooo! :) I plan to update here at my blog several hours before I share the news at Facebook - please come here to find out!!! I so don't want Facebook to take over my blog! :S But please don't tell a thing at Facebook on my wall until I announce it there. The name of the baby will be permanently HUSH-HUSH at Facebook until the birth announcement, so please don't let slip there! :)
Oh! My 18 week belly picture is up in the gallery at LAST! I am so sad that I missed 14 weeks AND 16 weeks! :( I'll post another at 20 weeks, hopefully, if I have a laptop or camera software that I've figured out! I'll TAKE a photo ready, anyway! I think the 20 week one is the one I always do the same as all the previous pregnancies at 20 weeks, for comparison - the first full photo rather than just cropped of my bump. I'll try to remember to do the same again! :)
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
18 weeks, 2 days - such a long gap!
Ohhh I feel bad for the long gap AGAIN! :S I don't like to have big gaps in my records of how my pregnancies go, but my last two updates were at 15 weeks and 12 weeks! Whoops. If you haven't seen it yet, Benjamin's birth story is finally finished and posted in the entry before this one - hooray! :) It took me AGES and it's crazy long, but I was so pleased to finish it and post it on his first birthday! Thank you for the sweet comments about it - I appreciated every single one! I sent it to Heather (my doula) the same day and told her to plan a reading week for it (she's SO busy all the time!), but she emailed me back that evening and said she had read it in one go, cried over several parts, and shooed her teenagers away several times as she was too engrossed in the story to be disturbed! ;) I love Heather!
THANK YOU Annie for pointing out that I had put my surname in it when I wrote Benjamin's full name! Yes, it was a mistake! I don't like that stuff out there in the World Wide Web for all to see! I have edited it now :)
One other thing to mention from the comments is that Beckstar left me a sweet comment about my birth story and then said she thinks the baby is a _____ (and said his actual NAME! Which we've told nobody - well, except Meg a while back!), and that it sounded like the right name choice!!! I was so flabbergasted, I thought, "How on earth does she know his name?!" and started doing searches through this blog and my diaryland one to see if I've ever mentioned liking that name! But I haven't, ever. So I am wondering, if you're reading B, how did you know his name?! It's an amazing guess if that's all it was! I wanted to mention the comment here because in the end I chose to delete it, and I didn't want B to take any offense at that. There was no blog or email for me to contact, though I did look for that first (and would have got in touch if I could have!). I am not ready to reveal the name we've chosen until we have had the scan, which is what I usually do at my blog, and there are a couple more weeks yet! ;) A couple of people may have seen her comment, I know, but hopefully not many!
I am totally presuming the baby is a boy. Not thinking about a girl in there at ALL. We have not chosen a girl's name, and I am not looking at them either. Tonight Neil was wondering about this or that for a girl, and I just told him I did not want to think about girls' names at all, unless we find out it IS a girl! Now, I LOVE browsing through baby names, picking my favourites, making shortlists, and imagining my baby with this or that name, and so on. But I just do NOT want to this time. I am SO sure this baby is a boy, that I am not interested in girls' names whatsoever. Rest assured that I will be EXTREMELY interested the moment they tell me "it's a girl", if I should somehow ever hear those words, hehe! But I'm happy to wait to be proven wrong at a scan before I bother looking into anything girl-related. There's plenty of time between the scan and the birth to plan that stuff if necessary.
BOY names, daydreams, thoughts, plans, and clothing considerations are in full swing however! ;) I refer to my baby as ______ (the name we've chosen) constantly. I know I'll feel daft if it turns out not to be a boy, but like I say, I feel that it's so unlikely that I'm happy to risk feeling daft and having a story to tell my daughter one day! ;) I LOVE his name. We have known the first and middle name since 5 weeks pregnant, and we both love it completely. Arthur is starting to ask what we might call the baby, and I am LONGING to tell him the name, but our children are too little to keep it secret from real life friends (and family - still haven't decided when/if we'll tell them yet, after last time) for the duration of my pregnancy. So I know we'll have to NOT tell them right up to the birth, urgh! I so want to include them, and I know they'll want to be included as we prepare for his arrival! :( But I really really really don't want real life friends to know until we announce the birth. Arthur did know Benjamin's name before he was born, and we didn't have much contact with people in the last couple of months before he was born so I guess there wasn't too much opportunity for the secret to be spilled, but one time at church, someone did ask ARTHUR directly what the baby's name was!!!! I couldn't believe it! They knew we weren't telling! Arthur was about to answer him (innocently) when I interrupted and distracted Arthur with something to do elsewhere! So I think it will be easier to just not tell anyone (other than my blog!) until the birth.
That said, if B DID guess it was a very very good one, and it made me think - I am open to guesses if anyone else has one! If you saw her comment before I deleted it, don't cheat! ;) I won't be telling the answer of course, but I'm interested in what people might guess at! Clues: 1) We love the meaning. 2) It's a Bible name. 3) It goes nicely with our other boys' names. 4) It starts with a letter that we haven't used yet for the other boys' names. I'll tell you what it is in exactly 2 weeks (the 28th!), even if we do somehow end up having a baby girl! ;)
I can't believe there are only TWO WEEKS to go until my scan! I'm starting to feel so excited and eager about it! I can't wait to see my little one, and in more detail. I am increasingly nervous about whether he is healthy - I think I am more so each pregnancy for some reason. I hope he is okay... I am eager to get confirmation on the gender, SO eager, because then I can stop with the suspense and the what-ifs and just get on with bonding with him by name without hesitation, and planning FOR SURE the clothes that I want to set aside or not set aside, from the clothes we already have. I don't want to get all heavy duty about sorting clothes and things until I'm SURE the baby will be using them, but I can't wait to do that kind of thing so I'm eager to know! :) I want to be able to use his name here to refer to him all the time, and I'm excited to see it in print here in reference to my little one, and use it on the title to his belly gallery and ultrasound gallery, etc! :) Just little things really. I also find that increasingly (with each pregnancy) I seem to fall more in love with the baby watching the scan than the previous time. I always do love them and bond at the scans, but it really does seem to be more intense and precious each new baby for some reason :) So I can't wait to see him and love on him!
Tomorrow I have my consultant appointment at the hospital - the one to do with being "high risk" now that I am having my 5th baby (and previous Group B Strep). FUN TIMES! ;) I am so very glad that Heather is going with me. Neil will be at home of course, with the boys. We rarely do any pregnancy/baby-related things together anymore because of the childcare issues with lots of little ones, which I find a bit sad :( But never mind. I have my doula, and Neil isn't.... doesn't naturally DO pregnancy, you know? He doesn't bond, connect or take much interest until about 37 weeks (he named that gestation with Arthur as the time it really became real to him) but I'm not sure if he even did before the baby was born the last couple of pregnancies. So it's not a big deal to him, and I have Heather to accompany me and don't have to worry about the boys with a babysitter, etc, so it's okay. I do insist on Neil being with me at the scans though! He does suggest that he might as well stay at home with the boys, even for scans, but I get sort of upset about that, so we figure something out. He seems excited and interested at the actual scans, watching the baby, but he is thinking more of the children and their needs really, that's why he suggests not going and for me to tell him about it afterwards! I am NOT happy to do that, so we figure things out. At the 12 week scan we took the little ones (except Arthur was at his half-term kids' club), but I DON'T want to do that for the Anomoly Scan, in case something is wrong, and because when we find out who our little one is (boy or girl), I don't want either of us to be distracted away from the baby as we discover that precious news. I also want us to be able to find out FIRST and tell the boys a bit later. It's special, just for us. So Neil has to be there!
I think our friend from church, Sarah, who watched the boys at our home when we had the 20 week scan with Benjamin, is able to watch them again this time! She said she thinks it will be fine but she has to check her calendar and get back to me to be sure. I so hope she can! That will be such a weight off. We always take the current baby with us, as I don't like to leave tiny ones with anyone except me or Neil. The older three will stay home with Sarah though. I really hope she can do it!
Well let's see.... there must be a TON of news to write about?!
I have woefully neglected my belly gallery this pregnancy! :( I missed 14 weeks AND 16 weeks! The last photo in there is 11 weeks (supposed to be 10 weeks but I was late!) - very naughty of me! I just keep forgetting or else I remember but then the evening is so FULL of things I need to do, it falls out of my head before I get around to doing the belly picture and then I go to bed and another day has gone. It happens every day. Every day! Today while the boys were out at the park with Neil, I was busily decluttering and cleaning (NESTING has begun in the last few days! Yay! Boy does my house need it!) when I came across my camera, and that jogged my memory so I set the timer on it RIGHT AWAY and took an 18 week belly picture! So glad to have one done at last. I don't know how it compares with my other pregnancies at 18 weeks yet because I haven't put it up on the computer to look at yet. I have a definite baby bump, which seems to me identical to all my other baby bumps that I've ever had (BOY! lol!) - so far low and out the front and round like a little ball. Boy boy boy! ;)
The top of my uterus comes up to 2 fingerwidths below my tummy button, pretty much spot on for 18 weeks - at 20 weeks it's supposed to be at the tummy button. I love my womb! It's round and protrudes and I HEART putting my hands on it all the time, just feeling joyful that it's there and growing and so very familiar to me now, and full of sweet baby!
I am finally feeling the baby move more consistently and strongly, but only in the last 4 or 5 days or so - really late for me! I think it was similar with Benjamin, but now I am starting to wonder about something. I have heard (from pregnancy forums online) that "fluffier" ladies (annoying term, but they basically mean those carrying more weight and I guess with a thicker layer between the baby and the outside air therefore!) feel their babies move later, due to the larger amount of fat tissue. Well, maybe that applies to me? I have always been very very little and slim in build, but haven't quite lost my baby weight between each pregnancy, so am gradually accumulating over the various pregnancies! ;) Before Arthur I weighed 7 stone 10lbs. Before Benjamin I weighed 9 stone, I think? Or more? I think 9 stone. Before THIS baby I weighed a lb or so under 10 stone. So I wonder if it's the extra fat that is the reason I am feeling my babies move later and later now? I DO still feel them move initially very early though, it's just the strength and consistency isn't felt until 16 or 17 weeks these last two times. Or maybe it's just those particular babies? If Matthew could kick my hip at 17 weeks and shift my butt on the chair I was sitting on, SURELY I would have felt that similarly whatever I weighed?!
Up until last week I was only feeling a little light pop or flick from this baby maybe once or twice a WEEK, and only one individual pop or two each time. Now I am feeling several movements per day, and they are much stronger. I read that between 17 weeks and 20 weeks, a baby will double in size!!! Or weight? I can't remember exactly. But, huuuuge growth spurt in those 3 weeks, which I am now in. So maybe that accounts for it?! ;) The baby really does seem bigger to me this week. If he is lying across my bump and up at the front (so that I can actually feel him there with my hand), he FILLS the width of my womb. I was surprised that the length of his back/head pushed out against my tummy was a full stretched handspan (from hip to hip - he was lying transverse at the time) when I "measured"! Getting so big in there! Babycenter.com does say that the baby is now 6 inches from head to bottom, so that's about right. He's only about half a lb in weight so far - so light and tiny still!
I am (crazily!!!) STILL able to lie on my tummy in bed! I was saying at 15 weeks how crazy it was that I was doing that, as I was SURE I had to stop doing that weeks before in my other pregnancies, but here I am at 18 weeks STILL doing it! It's getting less comfy, but it's not uncomfy at all. I am getting a bit anxious about the pressure breaking my waters or something scary like that - I have no idea how unlikely that really is, but it makes me nervous! I don't want anything to happen to my sweet tiny - I love him so much already! So I am trying not to lie on my tummy, but I still can quite comfortably. The baby IS starting to kick at the mattress a bit when I do though! ;) None of the movements are particularly vigorous and "high-energy" like some of my others (particularly the first two!). I'm sure that will come later, but for now this baby seems pretty laid back, like Benjamin was. Just today and yesterday, he sometimes does little pop-like kicks rhythmically, and I stop in my tracks and hold my breath to see if they're his Very First Hiccups (well, that I've noticed anyway!) but they don't last more than about 7 or 8 in a row, so I think they can't be hiccups. I don't think they're fast enough for hiccups either. I can't wait to feel hiccups! I so love being pregnant! :)
I have also managed to feel one of the slightly stronger kicks for the first time with my hand! :) LOVE that! Most of them I can't feel even with my hands on my tummy trying to feel them, but some I can. Oh I love this baby most-likely-boy! :)
Food... I am STILL nauseated!!!! A record for me, finally. It's more on-and-off than it used to be, and much milder, but I am still queasy most days, and today I was proper nauseous, enough to find drinking fluids a bit gaggy and the idea of food prep yucky! Arthur was my latest before now - his was all gone at the 18 week mark, so I am just past that now. I still maintain that it's clearing up (as I have been saying for at least 5 weeks now, lol!) but at least it's mild while it lasts. I hope it goes completely soon. It isn't stopping me eating or enjoying food though, for the most part, which I'm thankful for. I still want fruit, vegetables and fresh stuff the most, but I have no particular food cravings or strong likes or dislikes. Except salty stuff, I am still not fond of that. I did try a plain crisp again at the beach on Saturday, but it was like tasting the SEA WATER - ugh! So, still off crisps and salted foods. Yick. Still eating eggs and salmon (had both today in fact!) but not as intensely as before, and don't usually feel particularly like I want or need to eat them. I like white bread (and lots of it) if I am not nauseous. If I am nauseous it makes me feel worse afterwards with the after taste. I AM eating some sweet foods, but I'm not interested in chocolate or anything super sweet like that (thankfully!. I'm trying to avoid all the stuff I was pigging out on by now in my other pregnancies (chocolate, sweets, cookies and doughnuts!) - well, we did just have two birthdays so that means 2x large "family sized" homemade chocolate cakes, so I have been enjoying those! ;) But otherwise nothing else.
I still haven't started doing the prenatal exercise DVD I bought, but that's mostly to do with the fact that we don't have anything to play it on that isn't in the kitchen, where there is someone at ALL hours of the day and evening, and no space to actually work out. Frustrating! Not sure what to do about that, but I'll think on it some more.
Well, as always I'm sure there's much more, but my head is fuzzy suddenly and I've just looked at the time, and YIKES I should have been in bed ages ago! I need to upload my belly picture to the gallery but I have no time left to do that tonight. I'll try to do it tomorrow if I have time after school prep and Bible (I started the Bible in 90 Days challenge again! Yay! I'm on Day 10 so far, and that's taking more of my evening time, but WORTH IT!!!). I also want to update about my consultant appointment when I can. I'll probably post quickly on that at Facebook though, and update here in more detail later. Heather said she has been with clients to consultant appointments twice in the last month and both times they had to wait over an hour, so she said to bring a good book! I don't know a better one than the Bible, so I will take my Bible in 90 Days Bible and try to get my day's reading done! I would rather talk to Heather though, but she's taking her knitting and if we end up with a LONG wait, we'll probably need something to do in the end!
Okay, I will be back SOON! :)
THANK YOU Annie for pointing out that I had put my surname in it when I wrote Benjamin's full name! Yes, it was a mistake! I don't like that stuff out there in the World Wide Web for all to see! I have edited it now :)
One other thing to mention from the comments is that Beckstar left me a sweet comment about my birth story and then said she thinks the baby is a _____ (and said his actual NAME! Which we've told nobody - well, except Meg a while back!), and that it sounded like the right name choice!!! I was so flabbergasted, I thought, "How on earth does she know his name?!" and started doing searches through this blog and my diaryland one to see if I've ever mentioned liking that name! But I haven't, ever. So I am wondering, if you're reading B, how did you know his name?! It's an amazing guess if that's all it was! I wanted to mention the comment here because in the end I chose to delete it, and I didn't want B to take any offense at that. There was no blog or email for me to contact, though I did look for that first (and would have got in touch if I could have!). I am not ready to reveal the name we've chosen until we have had the scan, which is what I usually do at my blog, and there are a couple more weeks yet! ;) A couple of people may have seen her comment, I know, but hopefully not many!
I am totally presuming the baby is a boy. Not thinking about a girl in there at ALL. We have not chosen a girl's name, and I am not looking at them either. Tonight Neil was wondering about this or that for a girl, and I just told him I did not want to think about girls' names at all, unless we find out it IS a girl! Now, I LOVE browsing through baby names, picking my favourites, making shortlists, and imagining my baby with this or that name, and so on. But I just do NOT want to this time. I am SO sure this baby is a boy, that I am not interested in girls' names whatsoever. Rest assured that I will be EXTREMELY interested the moment they tell me "it's a girl", if I should somehow ever hear those words, hehe! But I'm happy to wait to be proven wrong at a scan before I bother looking into anything girl-related. There's plenty of time between the scan and the birth to plan that stuff if necessary.
BOY names, daydreams, thoughts, plans, and clothing considerations are in full swing however! ;) I refer to my baby as ______ (the name we've chosen) constantly. I know I'll feel daft if it turns out not to be a boy, but like I say, I feel that it's so unlikely that I'm happy to risk feeling daft and having a story to tell my daughter one day! ;) I LOVE his name. We have known the first and middle name since 5 weeks pregnant, and we both love it completely. Arthur is starting to ask what we might call the baby, and I am LONGING to tell him the name, but our children are too little to keep it secret from real life friends (and family - still haven't decided when/if we'll tell them yet, after last time) for the duration of my pregnancy. So I know we'll have to NOT tell them right up to the birth, urgh! I so want to include them, and I know they'll want to be included as we prepare for his arrival! :( But I really really really don't want real life friends to know until we announce the birth. Arthur did know Benjamin's name before he was born, and we didn't have much contact with people in the last couple of months before he was born so I guess there wasn't too much opportunity for the secret to be spilled, but one time at church, someone did ask ARTHUR directly what the baby's name was!!!! I couldn't believe it! They knew we weren't telling! Arthur was about to answer him (innocently) when I interrupted and distracted Arthur with something to do elsewhere! So I think it will be easier to just not tell anyone (other than my blog!) until the birth.
That said, if B DID guess it was a very very good one, and it made me think - I am open to guesses if anyone else has one! If you saw her comment before I deleted it, don't cheat! ;) I won't be telling the answer of course, but I'm interested in what people might guess at! Clues: 1) We love the meaning. 2) It's a Bible name. 3) It goes nicely with our other boys' names. 4) It starts with a letter that we haven't used yet for the other boys' names. I'll tell you what it is in exactly 2 weeks (the 28th!), even if we do somehow end up having a baby girl! ;)
I can't believe there are only TWO WEEKS to go until my scan! I'm starting to feel so excited and eager about it! I can't wait to see my little one, and in more detail. I am increasingly nervous about whether he is healthy - I think I am more so each pregnancy for some reason. I hope he is okay... I am eager to get confirmation on the gender, SO eager, because then I can stop with the suspense and the what-ifs and just get on with bonding with him by name without hesitation, and planning FOR SURE the clothes that I want to set aside or not set aside, from the clothes we already have. I don't want to get all heavy duty about sorting clothes and things until I'm SURE the baby will be using them, but I can't wait to do that kind of thing so I'm eager to know! :) I want to be able to use his name here to refer to him all the time, and I'm excited to see it in print here in reference to my little one, and use it on the title to his belly gallery and ultrasound gallery, etc! :) Just little things really. I also find that increasingly (with each pregnancy) I seem to fall more in love with the baby watching the scan than the previous time. I always do love them and bond at the scans, but it really does seem to be more intense and precious each new baby for some reason :) So I can't wait to see him and love on him!
Tomorrow I have my consultant appointment at the hospital - the one to do with being "high risk" now that I am having my 5th baby (and previous Group B Strep). FUN TIMES! ;) I am so very glad that Heather is going with me. Neil will be at home of course, with the boys. We rarely do any pregnancy/baby-related things together anymore because of the childcare issues with lots of little ones, which I find a bit sad :( But never mind. I have my doula, and Neil isn't.... doesn't naturally DO pregnancy, you know? He doesn't bond, connect or take much interest until about 37 weeks (he named that gestation with Arthur as the time it really became real to him) but I'm not sure if he even did before the baby was born the last couple of pregnancies. So it's not a big deal to him, and I have Heather to accompany me and don't have to worry about the boys with a babysitter, etc, so it's okay. I do insist on Neil being with me at the scans though! He does suggest that he might as well stay at home with the boys, even for scans, but I get sort of upset about that, so we figure something out. He seems excited and interested at the actual scans, watching the baby, but he is thinking more of the children and their needs really, that's why he suggests not going and for me to tell him about it afterwards! I am NOT happy to do that, so we figure things out. At the 12 week scan we took the little ones (except Arthur was at his half-term kids' club), but I DON'T want to do that for the Anomoly Scan, in case something is wrong, and because when we find out who our little one is (boy or girl), I don't want either of us to be distracted away from the baby as we discover that precious news. I also want us to be able to find out FIRST and tell the boys a bit later. It's special, just for us. So Neil has to be there!
I think our friend from church, Sarah, who watched the boys at our home when we had the 20 week scan with Benjamin, is able to watch them again this time! She said she thinks it will be fine but she has to check her calendar and get back to me to be sure. I so hope she can! That will be such a weight off. We always take the current baby with us, as I don't like to leave tiny ones with anyone except me or Neil. The older three will stay home with Sarah though. I really hope she can do it!
Well let's see.... there must be a TON of news to write about?!
I have woefully neglected my belly gallery this pregnancy! :( I missed 14 weeks AND 16 weeks! The last photo in there is 11 weeks (supposed to be 10 weeks but I was late!) - very naughty of me! I just keep forgetting or else I remember but then the evening is so FULL of things I need to do, it falls out of my head before I get around to doing the belly picture and then I go to bed and another day has gone. It happens every day. Every day! Today while the boys were out at the park with Neil, I was busily decluttering and cleaning (NESTING has begun in the last few days! Yay! Boy does my house need it!) when I came across my camera, and that jogged my memory so I set the timer on it RIGHT AWAY and took an 18 week belly picture! So glad to have one done at last. I don't know how it compares with my other pregnancies at 18 weeks yet because I haven't put it up on the computer to look at yet. I have a definite baby bump, which seems to me identical to all my other baby bumps that I've ever had (BOY! lol!) - so far low and out the front and round like a little ball. Boy boy boy! ;)
The top of my uterus comes up to 2 fingerwidths below my tummy button, pretty much spot on for 18 weeks - at 20 weeks it's supposed to be at the tummy button. I love my womb! It's round and protrudes and I HEART putting my hands on it all the time, just feeling joyful that it's there and growing and so very familiar to me now, and full of sweet baby!
I am finally feeling the baby move more consistently and strongly, but only in the last 4 or 5 days or so - really late for me! I think it was similar with Benjamin, but now I am starting to wonder about something. I have heard (from pregnancy forums online) that "fluffier" ladies (annoying term, but they basically mean those carrying more weight and I guess with a thicker layer between the baby and the outside air therefore!) feel their babies move later, due to the larger amount of fat tissue. Well, maybe that applies to me? I have always been very very little and slim in build, but haven't quite lost my baby weight between each pregnancy, so am gradually accumulating over the various pregnancies! ;) Before Arthur I weighed 7 stone 10lbs. Before Benjamin I weighed 9 stone, I think? Or more? I think 9 stone. Before THIS baby I weighed a lb or so under 10 stone. So I wonder if it's the extra fat that is the reason I am feeling my babies move later and later now? I DO still feel them move initially very early though, it's just the strength and consistency isn't felt until 16 or 17 weeks these last two times. Or maybe it's just those particular babies? If Matthew could kick my hip at 17 weeks and shift my butt on the chair I was sitting on, SURELY I would have felt that similarly whatever I weighed?!
Up until last week I was only feeling a little light pop or flick from this baby maybe once or twice a WEEK, and only one individual pop or two each time. Now I am feeling several movements per day, and they are much stronger. I read that between 17 weeks and 20 weeks, a baby will double in size!!! Or weight? I can't remember exactly. But, huuuuge growth spurt in those 3 weeks, which I am now in. So maybe that accounts for it?! ;) The baby really does seem bigger to me this week. If he is lying across my bump and up at the front (so that I can actually feel him there with my hand), he FILLS the width of my womb. I was surprised that the length of his back/head pushed out against my tummy was a full stretched handspan (from hip to hip - he was lying transverse at the time) when I "measured"! Getting so big in there! Babycenter.com does say that the baby is now 6 inches from head to bottom, so that's about right. He's only about half a lb in weight so far - so light and tiny still!
I am (crazily!!!) STILL able to lie on my tummy in bed! I was saying at 15 weeks how crazy it was that I was doing that, as I was SURE I had to stop doing that weeks before in my other pregnancies, but here I am at 18 weeks STILL doing it! It's getting less comfy, but it's not uncomfy at all. I am getting a bit anxious about the pressure breaking my waters or something scary like that - I have no idea how unlikely that really is, but it makes me nervous! I don't want anything to happen to my sweet tiny - I love him so much already! So I am trying not to lie on my tummy, but I still can quite comfortably. The baby IS starting to kick at the mattress a bit when I do though! ;) None of the movements are particularly vigorous and "high-energy" like some of my others (particularly the first two!). I'm sure that will come later, but for now this baby seems pretty laid back, like Benjamin was. Just today and yesterday, he sometimes does little pop-like kicks rhythmically, and I stop in my tracks and hold my breath to see if they're his Very First Hiccups (well, that I've noticed anyway!) but they don't last more than about 7 or 8 in a row, so I think they can't be hiccups. I don't think they're fast enough for hiccups either. I can't wait to feel hiccups! I so love being pregnant! :)
I have also managed to feel one of the slightly stronger kicks for the first time with my hand! :) LOVE that! Most of them I can't feel even with my hands on my tummy trying to feel them, but some I can. Oh I love this baby most-likely-boy! :)
Food... I am STILL nauseated!!!! A record for me, finally. It's more on-and-off than it used to be, and much milder, but I am still queasy most days, and today I was proper nauseous, enough to find drinking fluids a bit gaggy and the idea of food prep yucky! Arthur was my latest before now - his was all gone at the 18 week mark, so I am just past that now. I still maintain that it's clearing up (as I have been saying for at least 5 weeks now, lol!) but at least it's mild while it lasts. I hope it goes completely soon. It isn't stopping me eating or enjoying food though, for the most part, which I'm thankful for. I still want fruit, vegetables and fresh stuff the most, but I have no particular food cravings or strong likes or dislikes. Except salty stuff, I am still not fond of that. I did try a plain crisp again at the beach on Saturday, but it was like tasting the SEA WATER - ugh! So, still off crisps and salted foods. Yick. Still eating eggs and salmon (had both today in fact!) but not as intensely as before, and don't usually feel particularly like I want or need to eat them. I like white bread (and lots of it) if I am not nauseous. If I am nauseous it makes me feel worse afterwards with the after taste. I AM eating some sweet foods, but I'm not interested in chocolate or anything super sweet like that (thankfully!. I'm trying to avoid all the stuff I was pigging out on by now in my other pregnancies (chocolate, sweets, cookies and doughnuts!) - well, we did just have two birthdays so that means 2x large "family sized" homemade chocolate cakes, so I have been enjoying those! ;) But otherwise nothing else.
I still haven't started doing the prenatal exercise DVD I bought, but that's mostly to do with the fact that we don't have anything to play it on that isn't in the kitchen, where there is someone at ALL hours of the day and evening, and no space to actually work out. Frustrating! Not sure what to do about that, but I'll think on it some more.
Well, as always I'm sure there's much more, but my head is fuzzy suddenly and I've just looked at the time, and YIKES I should have been in bed ages ago! I need to upload my belly picture to the gallery but I have no time left to do that tonight. I'll try to do it tomorrow if I have time after school prep and Bible (I started the Bible in 90 Days challenge again! Yay! I'm on Day 10 so far, and that's taking more of my evening time, but WORTH IT!!!). I also want to update about my consultant appointment when I can. I'll probably post quickly on that at Facebook though, and update here in more detail later. Heather said she has been with clients to consultant appointments twice in the last month and both times they had to wait over an hour, so she said to bring a good book! I don't know a better one than the Bible, so I will take my Bible in 90 Days Bible and try to get my day's reading done! I would rather talk to Heather though, but she's taking her knitting and if we end up with a LONG wait, we'll probably need something to do in the end!
Okay, I will be back SOON! :)
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