35 weeks, 4 days

I am finally updating about my growth scan! :) Such a lot seems to have happened since then, but it was only last week!

Heather was able to come with me, and we had no waiting at all when we got there, it being early. The sonographer was LOVELY - she kept referring to bits of Elijah as, "Here's his gorgeous little tummy... and here's a lovely little foot..." ;) So sweet! Elijah is FINE. I may have been measuring 32 weeks, bump-wise, but Elijah's measurements - taken from his thigh bone, head circumference, and abdominal circumference - were perfectly normal! :) They were just below average for his gestation, and ranged from 34 weeks and 2 days, to 34 weeks and 5 days (I was 34 weeks and 6 days pregnant at the time). I am sure I saw her enter 33 weeks and 5 days for one of his measurements, but on the report that isn't there, so maybe not. Anyway, he's FINE. She entered his measurements on the computer at the end of the scan and it gave her an estimated weight for him - 4lbs 15oz. That puts him in a healthy range for a baby at his exact gestation, below the 50th percentile (below average, but perfectly normal). I am REALLY hopeful that Elijah might well be a smaller baby just by his build, than his brothers! Well, than the last two brothers, anyway! ;)

It was so lovely to see him!!! He hasn't got much room in there. His body was completely "hugged" by my womb - something I haven't really seen before because I don't tend to have any reason for late scans. I did have one with Samuel to check on that succenturiate lobe of my placenta (that never materialised!) but I don't remember much focus on the baby that time. This time I could see so clearly. He was sort of loosely curled up, with his little knees straight out in front of him and his arms curled so that he had his hands to his mouth the whole time. We saw his sweet little feeties (very happy to see that they are straight and not curly, yay!). And such a round little tummy! I could see his stomach was full, and his bladder was full as well - good signs! :) Drinking and peeing well! I could see his kidneys, and his dear little heart beating away. She showed me his face, straight on. He did a big yawn which I didn't recognise until she said, "There's a big yawn!" Awwww, soooo sweet! And he sort of rubbed his face sleepily. He didn't do much wiggling around at all, probably because he wasn't in an active awake stage at the time of the scan. He didn't really do that until after we finished at the hospital.

When he had done his yawn and was relaxed again, she paused a while and I got to really look at his face. It's so grainy which makes it impossible to REALLY tell what he looks like, but his face shape reminds me of Nathan - sort of heart-shaped. I could be wrong though. The sweetest thing was that his head was low down at the narrowest part of my womb (good boy!), and his cheeks were literally smooshed together by his restricted space, so that his mouth was pursed a little from it! That was probably my most heart-melting moment of the scan, seeing his sweet little cheeks all squashed up! The sonographer pointed it out, saying how sweet it was! :) I couldn't tell anything else, like whether he has lots of hair (he'll be the first NOT to, if he doesn't, lol!). I loved seeing the bones in his legs soooo clearly, when she did the measurements. They look so big and sturdy now, and it seemed surreal to look at them for some reason. It was also more than obvious that he's definitely a little boy! It looked like he had a pear between his legs, hehehe! When baby boys are born, their scrotums are usually enlarged and a dark purple or red colour, due to maternal hormones. It resolves pretty soon - I can't remember how long exactly. I guess Elijah has got to that stage of hormonal influence! ;) I never did see his lil willy-bit, but I couldn't miss his scrotum, lol!

How lovely it was to have an estimated weight for him, even now while I'm still pregnant with him! I've never had a little nugget of information like that with any of my other babies, so it was fun. I know it's very approximate really - 10% margin of error. But I'll take it as accurate for now - I might as well. It seems to be backed up by his measurements and the opinion of various midwives who palpate my tummy and comment on his size, so I'll go with 4lbs 15oz (over 5lbs by now!). I didn't get any scan pictures, because I guess it wasn't that kind of scan - normally I have to pay £3 for two photos ahead of the scan, and that wasn't an option with the growth scan. I was just happy to see him, and thrilled that he seems fine in there! The sonographer said another thing that might make my bump seem smaller is reduced amniotic fluid, so she measured a pocket of amniotic fluid to check how much he has in there. He has plenty! :) The amount was around the 90th percentile, so more than the average 35 week baby swims in. She couldn't explain why I'm measuring smaller, but was very reassuring.

Then we went to the Day Assessment Unit and saw a brilliant midwife who asked if it was my first baby as she read my notes, and when I said, "No, my sixth." she didn't bat an eyelid, just said, "Are they making a fuss because you want a homebirth and it's your sixth baby?" and I said, "Yes!" She nodded knowingly! ;) She also checked my urine sample results from the last antenatal appointment (where it was +++ leukocytes) and it had come back completely normal! Yay! :) In the end it was really quick and I didn't have to be examined or even do another urine sample - because the scan was normal they just filled in my notes, asked me some questions about the baby's movements, and then we went home! While I waited at DAU, Heather went upstairs to the maternity unit and found the head of community midwives. She told her that I had been told I would have an appointment with the head of midwifery at the hospital (after my 32 week appointment with the consultant) but that nothing had happened. She told her that I would probably rather see her (the head of community midwives) anyway, and so Jackie (the aforementioned head of CMs!) agreed to phone me later in the day and arrange to come to my house later in the week!!! Heather's BRILLIANT!!! :D

She did phone that afternoon, and she sounded soooooo lovely, just as Heather said she was. Heather had told me that I needed to see Jackie because she's lovely, and because she will be totally supportive of my wishes and make all the other sources of stress go away for me. She was sure the head of midwifery was lovely too, but didn't know how supportive she would be compared with Jackie. She knows Jackie well. Anyway, Jackie arranged to come round on Wednesday - the next day - but Heather ended up having to go to a client whose waters had broken. I really wanted Heather with me, so I asked Jackie if I could reschedule and she was very accommodating. She asked if I had a favourite midwife. I said Mandi, because Mandi delivered Benjamin and Samuel and she's such a wonderful midwife! Jackie said she would find a time when their schedules coincided and bring Mandi with her!

So they came on Friday, and Heather came too. Neil could not get time off work to whisk the boys away for us to discuss birth risks, etc, without them listening in, so I decided we would have that discussion upstairs in the boys' bedroom. I put a Christmas DVD on for the boys - they LOVE their Christmas DVDs but I don't tend to get them out if it's not somewhere near Christmas, so I knew it would keep them rivited the whole time it was on, and that was important! ;) I got them a snack each and a drink, and set the DVD going while everyone else went up to the bedroom with a cup of tea. They were SO good, all 5 of them, and I am so proud of them! We ended up talking for over an hour, and their DVD lasted 35 minutes. They played soooo nicely for the rest of the time in the living room, and Heather checked on them two or three times to see if they were okay. We could hear them pretty clearly as our house is tiny. One time Arthur called out, "Heather, Samuel's got your handbag!" and she went and rescued it from him. I heard her say to them, "You're being so good, and I'm SO proud of you all!" They ADORE Heather so I know their little chests must have puffed out with pride and joy at her compliment, and they were ever so well behaved until we finished our discussion upstairs. The midwives commented on their behaviour and I felt so proud of my boys! :)

So the discussion went wonderfully. The whole morning was just so so wonderful and such an immense relief - I was surprised at how physically relieved I felt afterwards - that I just wanted to smile and skip about all afternoon, lol! Seriously. I guess I was more stressed about the issues at hand than I had even realised. Mandi was going to do a routine antenatal check but I wanted to get the discussion out of the way first, in case there was trouble downstairs. The first thing Jackie said was that there is no statistical evidence to show or prove that grand multips (women who have had 5 or more babies) are at greater risk than anyone else of postpartum haemmorrhage. She said, "I just want to tell you that straight off so you can relax a bit!" and it really was SUCH a relief to hear! She had brought lots of printouts of the hospital guidelines, and the most recent information they work from. Also information on Group B Strep and statistics, and protocol for the management of grand multips in labour and especially in relation to the 3rd stage of labour. Hospital protocol is that they have a managed 3rd stage and a canula put in their hand ON ARRIVAL in preparation for the risk of haemmorrhage! Yikes! That would unnerve me, and also be really uncomfortable for labour and birth! The same piece of paper then stated that there is no known increased risk of haemmorrhage for grand multips! ;) I asked Jackie, if I were to choose a hospital birth, would I need to follow hospital protocol (I don't want to!), and she said they absolutely can not make me do anything I don't want to. They would strongly advise me to, but I am NOT at increased risk, and I can perfectly well say no. They would probably fuss about it but "they would get over it"! ;) She reminded me that doctors in hospitals always see the blackest part of any situation - they never see the normal births, and their whole job is to spend their time being called from one complicated birth to another, witnessing all the things that CAN go wrong. Their view of birth is very coloured. She said I shouldn't worry about doctors fussing over risks, because it's their job, and if I know where I stand and what my personal risks actually are, I can confidently say no to anything I'm not happy with, and relax and let them come to terms with my decision.

She asked me what I wanted, and I said, "I want to have my baby at home, and I want to let the cord stop pulsating and deliver the placenta naturally, and I don't want anyone to fiddle about with me during the process." ;) Jackie just nodded, completely understanding. She was brilliant. She made extensive notes of all the things I said, and said she would take action on various things I mentioned about the last antenatal appointment I had, and also the consultant appointment. She asked if I WANTED to see the consultant as planned at 36 weeks, and I said that I didn't think he would say, "Fantastic! Great choice!" (they laughed!) when I told him I was having a homebirth, and I thought he would just start going over the risks again with me, and I didn't want to hear that stuff again. She said she would talk to him and cancel the appointment for me. I told her that the midwife I saw for my 34 week appointment wouldn't make a home visit appointment for me at 36 weeks, like they do when you're booked for a homebirth. She said that "we'll see if you're having a homebirth first, after your consultant appointment" which I really didn't like, because it's MY choice, surely?! Instead, she made me an appointment for the following week at 37 weeks, but when I asked her if she would come to my home for that appointment, she said that I should come to her in the community that time, and then if I WAS going to have a homebirth she would do the home visit (pre-homebirth) appointment at 38 weeks. I really wasn't happy about that. When I talked to Jackie about it, she said Mandi will phone me on Monday (tomorrow) and arrange to come out to me and do the pre-homebirth visit at 37 weeks, and I would not have to go out to any more appointments - they would all be done at home from now on. I was so relieved! :) She is cancelling the 37 week appt in the community for me. Phew!

We discussed a lot more in detail about Group B Strep and postpartum haemmorrhage, but I can't remember all of it and it's late and I'm EXHAUSTED at the moment, so suffice to say it was all very reassuring and I feel very happy with the outcome. Heather mentioned that I had done observations on my last two newborns after homebirths (for early signs of GBS disease) for the first 24 hours - the same as they would do if the baby was in hospital under observation. I took their temperature, pulse and respirations every 2 hours, I think, for the first 24 hours or so. Heather told Jackie I had done nursing and was very able to monitor these things, so Jackie said she would send Mandi with one of their clinical observation charts to make it easier for me to record Elijah's obs in the first 24 hours after he's born. I do carry Group B Strep, and there is a teeeensy tiny risk to my newborns therefore (less than 0.1 percent, mind you! Pretty tiny!), so I am careful to do the appropriate observations on them as they would get from a midwife or nurse in the hospital, when I don't have antibiotics during labour. They did say that if I went into hospital it would be unlikely that I would get antibiotics in time anyway, since my labours are quite quick now.

So far my babies have been very well protected from any risk of picking up GBS during birth, because (apart from Nathan and Arthur, when I DID have antibiotics during labour anyway) my waters tend to break literally as the head is crowning, so they are protected almost completely anyway. They could only be more protected by being born in the caul (inside the intact bag of amniotic fluid), so that's a good start for them.

Mandi then did an antenatal check for 35 weeks. She didn't measure my bump! ;) Elijah's heartrate was good and we listened to it for a while. He is head down but floating nice and high and free right now, nowhere near engaged. She said he feels smaller to her than my last two babies, for sure. She also said that he feels like he's a little bit posterior right now, so I should spend lots of time on my hands and knees (oh joy). He's very wiggly a lot of the time, and it's not very comfortable any more! I still love it though! :) I did a urine sample which was perfect, and my blood pressure was 100/60 - great! :)

Jackie said maybe it would be helpful if we have a birth plan, and Heather said that I have one that she can print out (same as last time). But Jackie said she meant it might be helpful to have a detailed birth plan for any eventuality, which is put together by me AND the midwives, so that it's very clear any easy for anyone to understand my decision and wishes, from a perspective that doctors and midwives would "get". I was so happy with that idea! So when Mandi comes next week, she will do my homebirth assessment thingy, another antenatal check, and write my birth plan with me. Hopefully Heather will also be able to attend. I'm now SO looking forward to the rest of my appointments before Elijah is born! :) I love seeing Mandi because of her special connection with me, having delivered my last two babies.

So this week (36 weeks) I have no appointments. Then I have one at 37 weeks, and I'm supposed to see my GP for the 38 week appointment, apparently. I told them that it wouldn't be ideal to have to go to that one (either to take all the kids with me, or to get someone to watch them while I go), so they are going to do a home visit instead! And then the next appointment after that is my due date appointment! Getting so near to the end of my pregnancy now! :)

Lately I have been sleeping so badly. I just can't get to sleep! And then my legs start up (Restless Leg Syndrome) - it can get so awful that I literally consider taking a meat tenderiser to my thighs, lol! Except not lol, because I am absolutely desperate by then. And I don't have a meat tenderiser, so there's no real risk there! It's just the most horrid feeling, and I want to rip my limbs off and jump on them for some relief, seriously. The only relief I can find is pain - to force the muscle until it hurts is a much nicer feeling, but I can't stress my pelvis by stretching like that, so I am stuck with it until it eases off. Which can take hours and hours. The more tired I get, the worse my RLS is - that's the same when I'm not pregnant as well. When not pregnant, my best chance is to lie on my tummy and fidget my feet until I fall asleep. If I'm on my back or sides, no chance. So of course I am completely unable to do that with a huge baby bump! ;) I can't fathom why I'm so awake in bed when I'm so exhausted. I just can't sleeeeeep! Until like 2 or 3 or even 4am, and then I have 5 littles to look after the next day, and school to do, and the usual end-of-pregnancy exhaustion. And THEN the same thing happens that night. And the next. And the next. I think I am on the 6th night in a row now, and last night I felt ill when I went to bed at 10.30pm. I just felt nauseated as anything, and weak and woozy, only the feeling didn't ease for lying down and resting. The nausea got bad enough so that it was the REASON I couldn't relax enough to sleep, and I ended up not sleeping until after 3am, urrrrgggghhh! It's the MOST annoying thing!!!! Today Neil let me sleep in (he does every day that he's not off to work) to catch up a bit, though I got up with Samuel at 7ish for a little bit - I went back to bed for a couple of hours after that.

I have been working on a "to-do" list this weekend - the first one I've made in preparation for Elijah's arrival! So exciting to be getting to that stage! :) I did a few things on the list yesterday, but when I was trying to get a few things done today, I just came over feeling ill again like last night. Just absolutely breathlessly exhausted to my very core, nauseous and weak and woozy. Food, water, rest, etc, none of that really made any difference, and it was frustrating, not to mention really not nice to feel that way! I recognised it from the time last year when I had been pretty much flat on my back for a month or so with a kidney stone obstructing my right kidney, and then once it was all resolved I went and spent the day walking round a big zoo with the family. I suddenly came over feeling very unwell and almost unable to walk for exhaustion, out of nowhere. It was exactly this feeling, only worse, and sitting down and resting, or having a drink or something sugary made not-the-slightest-difference. I think it hung around for a week and I went to the doctor. He said that my blood count was fine, and I was probably just exhausted and needed to give it time and rest up. I can't remember how long it took but I don't think it was all that long before I started to feel better again. Anyway. I have also had this feeling a few times when I have overdone it and got really exhausted - the main memory of it is when I was using all my energy trying to switch the boys to the other bedroom when I was 28 or 30 (or something) weeks pregnant with Samuel. I ended up exhausted, hugely emotional, and feeling unwell and breathless even lying down. I also had a TON of frequent regular Braxton Hicks contractions, and that's something I seem to have had with all my pregnancies, so it's really noticable that I HAVEN'T had any of that at all this pregnancy. I do get Braxton Hicks contractions, but just the odd one here and there, and I can go a day or so without noticing one. It used to be, in other pregnancies, that it would be normal for me to have a period of time every single evening where I had BH contractions every 2-4 minutes, quite regularly, and they would feel pretty strong as well. It's so nice not to have had that this pregnancy. I'm sure they'll increase in the next few weeks, but it's nice not to have that "concern" over them earlier on.

Anyway. We did make some progress, and because Neil was home, I was able to just crash on the floor and not move, feeling horrid. I think if he had been at work I would still have had to do just that, because I just felt unable to get up and I felt so sick with it. I will try to take it easy (ish!) this week while he's at work. I don't want to feel like this with nobody here to help me with the boys, and Neil is out for 11.5 hours every weekday, so it's no good feeling awful from 2 hours into the day! If I have to, I could skip doing school but I really don't want to have to do that.

Neil got the newborn and tiny baby size clothes down from the loft today!! I LOVE that moment, each pregnancy! :) Because I didn't feel well, I decided not to open the boxes and sort through the clothes, because I wouldn't get to enjoy it so much. I love that moment of getting all those teensy little clothes out and cooing and squealing over each item, unfolding and re-folding them, and then putting them in the wash to make ready for the new baby! Never gets old. I will do it when I have a moment and am not feeling overly exhausted or unwell, then I can enjoy myself. Hopefully that moment will come before too long, as I want to get them washed in good time! Nathan was born 2 days from now, at the gestation I am now! Yikes! We were not ready then - I didn't know where the baby clothes even WERE in the loft, let alone have them down, cooed over, and washed ready for him!

This weekend I cleared some of the stuff in my room, and Neil took up the boxes of baby clothes that have been sitting around for many months - that has left lots more space to sort and clear further stuff. I found my hospital bag and started packing it today. My packing list is getting shorter each baby, and less fussy too! ;) I really find that I hardly need anything of the huge list I made for my first few babies! So it's easier to pack and fits into a smaller bag too. A Tesco delivery arrived today (food mainly) and I had ordered newborn nappies and cotton wool with great excitement! :) It was sooooo exciting to receive those! I put a pack of nappies and two packs of cotton wool in the hospital bag. Also maternity pads which came with the Tesco order, and the usual dextrose energy sweets that I keep on hand (but haven't used the last two times, I don't think?). I have packed some toiletries and stuff, and also a baby blanket and towel. I just need to pack camera and money (not until the last minute), clothing for me (which I'm wearing still!) and Elijah's baby clothes when they are unboxed and washed. So I have the bag half packed already! :)

Neil put two boxes of maternity clothes in the loft - a sure sign that pregnancy is nearing its end! ;) They are all too small for me now, and I have probably a boxful of maternity clothes left in my drawers which still fit, and which I will likely wear for a while after the baby is born. He finally found my sewing machine in the loft and brought it down - I have wanted it for AGES!!!! There are a few things I want to sew before Elijah arrives - not to do with Elijah himself, just things like making patches to sew on the knees of a LOT of pairs of jeans. I have been doing a few by hand but it's taking me forever without a sewing machine, and Arthur and Matthew no longer have any jeans without holes in the knees! Some with just one knee torn, others with both. Either way, I need to do a lot of patching, and pretty soon I will not have the time to do so for a while. With the sewing machine I can whizz them off pretty quickly, I think.

We were supposed to move Samuel to the boys' bedroom this weekend, but things weren't quite ready in the bedroom - I realised we need a safety gate on the boys' bedroom door to keep Samuel safe, and we don't have one spare. So I bought one online today, and hopefully it'll be here before next weekend. Also some minor decluttering needed doing, and I need to figure out where on earth I'm going to store Samuel's clothes in that room! They need to move out of the chest of drawers in my room to make way for Elijah's tiny little clothes, and I just haven't thought it through! Anyway, more to the point, I was reeeeally struggling with the idea that Samuel was having his last sleep next to me, last time waking up next to him, etc. I'm relieved to have him in my bed for a few more nights at least! I DO think I need the better sleep that will likely come from having the bed(room) to myself again for a few weeks, but oh how I will miss that dear little beep next to me!

We'll do the big move with him either mid-week when the gate has arrived, or next weekend if Neil prefers, since he will now be the one dealing with the majority of Samuel's night wakings - moving means night-weaning, although I have been intentionally not offering him milk at night when he wakes this past week. He seems very happy with just sucking his thumb, but he likes to "twiddle" while he does so, and isn't so happy if I don't let him! Not sure what alternative Neil will come up with for that one! ;)

Anyway. I don't feel too good. I am going to bed, and hopefully will manage to zonk out to sleep immediately and have a marvellous refreshing sleep, with Samuel also sleeping like a log all night! ;) Can't remember when all that last happened, but there's a chance, hey?!