Middle-of-the-day entry today, which is a rarity! Boys are playing nicely (all 5!) together and I am trying to rest up nearby. I wanted to update while I have the chance, especially in case things change later.
Yesterday was a good day for two reasons:
1) I went to the follow-up appointment for my kidney scan, and it's not 100% resolved, but at least nothing to worry about. I have another scan to follow-up in November. My kidney hasn't fully drained after it was swollen up with fluid while my kidney stone blocked it from draining. Not sure why... that would explain why it's still aching all the time, but they said not to worry, and it should hopefully have cleared up in another couple of months. Anyway, the GOOD thing about it was that the consultant scanned my bladder just as a routine, and I immediately turned to look at the screen while she did so, because I wondered if there was any chance I might spot a flash of a pregnancy nearby! :) And I DID! :D I saw a very familiar looking black slightly-irregular looking circle amongst all the grey, and the consultant saw me smile on seeing it, so went back to show me it again. She just said, "There's the pregnancy sac!" and then immediately said she would not dwell on that, we had to get on with the bladder scan. I was actually pleasantly surprised to see it, because I was only 6 weeks and 1 day pregnant and it was a trans-abdominal scan! Usually a sac is the only thing you'll see with a MUCH more clear trans-vaginal scan at just six weeks of pregnancy, maybe a yolk san in there. Some people see a fetal pole, but not all. At 5w5d with a trans-vaginal scan, we could only see the black gestational sac with Arthur, and the slight outline of a yolk sac inside. So I was surprised to see it on a tummy scan! :)
I can feel the edge of my womb at my pubic bone, juuuust about, which seems awfully early... there was only ONE gestational sac though! ;) I usually feel it poking above my pubic bone at the 8 week mark (also early, but normal for me). Maybe it's just the fact that it's my 6th pregnancy? And maybe THAT'S the reason it was visible on a trans-abdominal scan this early - it's higher than usual?
2) Yesterday was the first day in my entire pregnancy (excluding the first 6 days after ovulating!) where my bleeding had almost completely vanished! I actually did not need to wear a pantyliner, though I did just in case. I had normal CM by the end of the day, and was SO pleased about it! :)
But, I was doing a speed-tidy of the living room in preparation to start school with the boys this morning, and suddenly I felt a leaky sensation. I immediately said to the boys that I was going to the toilet, and collected a pad on the way to the bathroom. It's funny how I don't ever need to look any more to know it's blood. From Nathan's pregnancy onwards, blood has never caught me by surprise because I somehow always know it's blood, even a little of it, before I get to the toilet to actually look. When I got there I found bright red blood, and quite a lot of it, already soaked through my clothes. There was also a good amount in the toilet after I finished. I felt a bit shaken by seeing it, but much less so than any other time. I feel so at ease about any outcome, somehow. I just trust God. He gives and He takes away, and His name is still to be praised. If this baby is leaving me, or if it is to soon, I feel absolutely sure of who the baby is. I still can not get the name Rachel out of my head. It feels like "her" name, even though I still feel ambivalent abuot it - I am not all that keen on the name! Such a weird feeling to have about a name that I KNOW is going to be used as her name, lol! I do realise there's a good chance that everything could be fine, and when we get to the gender scan, the usual, boy bits are going to be staring at us from the screen, lol! Not sure about calling the baby Rachel then, haha!
I still don't know if I am going to use the name Rachel - but given the strength of my feelings over the name now, if the baby dies then I was consider her a girl, and name her Rachel. I'll never know for sure, so I am going to go with that.
If things progress well, though, I have asked God to confirm to me if Rachel is the name HE wants the baby to have, by putting it on Neil's heart, and having Neil confirm it to me. I have told Neil that I feel God has put a name on my heart, and that it's a girl's name, but I haven't told Neil the name. I'm pretty sure Neil doesn't like the name Rachel and like I said, it's not a name I would shortlist myself. It's an odd feeling to have such a thing for it! And now I WILL look daft if the baby is a boy, lol! ;) Not that I'm feeling particularly that it ISN'T a boy, it's just the NAME that distracts me constantly, it's weird. I'm starting to fall in love with a name I don't even like all that much, like it is already attached to someone I love. Not sure how to explain it any better really...
I became crampy a few minutes after starting to bleed, and the cramping became really quite sharp and nasty right down in my groin, so I felt a bit ominous about it really, as I've had cramping with bleeding before, but just period-type crampiness, not this sharp thing. I decided to go for a BM to see if that helped, but was kind of nervous to. I think it did help, but I bled pretty heavily in the process :(
Right now it has been a few hours since it all started, and the crampiness has all but gone. I put a heavy-duty pad on, which has some red blood on it, but it seems to have slowed right down now. So, I am not sure what to think! At first, especially with the cramping, I was SO SURE this had to be it. I put a DVD on for the boys, explaining to them that I was bleeding and would rest for a bit while they watched a DVD instead of doing school like we'd planned. They understand what the bleeding is about, and seemed worried for the baby at first, but I was upbeat and reassuring (not being worried as such myself, though I guess concerned at the bleeding because obviously I want everything to go well with this pregnancy!), and reminded them that whether this baby lives or dies, God is good, and we will see the baby one day in either case. They went off happily to watch Paddington, and I lay down upstairs while Samuel finished his nap. It felt oddly like the time I had a kidney stone and lay down upstairs in the same place and position while I waited for Neil to come home before going to hospital, which wasn't a nice association! I lay feeling really crampy, and just decided to praise God, because He is worthy of praise in every circumstance of life. I sang a worship song to Him, and felt a lot better after that, and the crampiness eased somewhat.
When I came downstairs, I phoned the Early Pregnancy Unit at the hospital like my GP had told me to, and they said the earliest they could scan me would be next Tuesday (it's Friday today) at 1.30pm, so I said yes to that. Better than nothing, and still before 7 weeks so that's good. They told me to ring my GP and ask her to fax a referral letter to them, so I left a message for my GP with the fax number.
I got a phone call at lunch time (managed to make the boys' lunch, just took it slowly and sat down as much as I could) from the GP receptionist, saying that my GP had phoned the EPU herself and asked what they could do about bringing forward my scan, since she did not want me to wait until Tuesday with heavy red bleeding! :) Love my GP! :) So now I have a scan at 3.30pm on Monday (6w5d). Boy do I hope everything is okay...
Neil has informed work, and they seem okay with letting him stay home from work on Monday afternoon to watch the boys while I go to the u/s. It's an internal one so I can't take them with me, not that they allow little ones anyway, since there are people there having a miscarriage :(
The other thing of note is that I started a belly gallery yesterday (well, just posted a saved post right before this one) with my first belly picture in it. It's a 6 weeks photo for the "before" photo - please excuse my extremely yellow appearance, lol! My lovely camera has lost its charger in the house somewhere, so I've had to use my point-and-shoot camera which is rubbish with artificial light! :/ Oh well!
I am still feeling morning sick, but it's SO mild.... it makes me a little concerned given the bleeding and such. I'm grateful meanwhile! :) It's THERE but so much more manageable than any of my other pregnancies have been. I can function completely normally, and eat and drink anything I want without feeling yeurghy. I hope it's okay to feel that way (for me)...
Will update again very soon.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Belly Gallery for Baby #6!
Here's my belly gallery for my 6th baby, currently known as Sausage! :)
6 weeks pregnant (excuse the yellow face, bad camera!)
11 weeks pregnant - showing! What is with the baaaad colour though?!
I missed 14 weeks! :( At 16 weeks I saw my consultant who thinks my uterus is not as big as 16 weeks (upcoming scan therefore). I am definitely not showing as much as I usually do at 16 weeks. Here is my 16 (and a half) week belly picture:
16 weeks and 3 days
Missed 18, 20, 22 AND 24 weeks! :( But here's a quickly-taken-with-the-timer photo of my bump (now known to be Elijah!) at 25 weeks:
25 weeks, 2 days
With all my little boys at exactly 28 weeks! :)
34 weeks (and 4 days)
Two pictures from 36 weeks, taken by Arthur (7)6 weeks pregnant (excuse the yellow face, bad camera!)
11 weeks pregnant - showing! What is with the baaaad colour though?!
I missed 14 weeks! :( At 16 weeks I saw my consultant who thinks my uterus is not as big as 16 weeks (upcoming scan therefore). I am definitely not showing as much as I usually do at 16 weeks. Here is my 16 (and a half) week belly picture:
16 weeks and 3 days
Missed 18, 20, 22 AND 24 weeks! :( But here's a quickly-taken-with-the-timer photo of my bump (now known to be Elijah!) at 25 weeks:
25 weeks, 2 days
34 weeks (and 4 days)
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
6 weeks pregnant! :D
Woohoo, six weeks pregnant! So exciting!
I have to be quick because it's really late and Samuel is stirring a bit, which means he could wake any moment (and I should be in bed!). Just wanted to update about my doctor's appointment today.
It went fine! Things have changed a bit apparently, and now everything goes from the GP to the hospital, which then acts as a sorting base, and gets me set up with the midwifery team, and arranges scan appointments, sends me info, etc. The GP no longer sends me for an early scan, I have to go through the hospital antenatal department for that. So, we spent a fair amount of time filling in the appropriate information! ;) This is because I have to give all the information on my previous babies (gestation, normal pregnancy/birth?, birth weight, location, gender, etc), and there are a few of them now, lol! LOVE going through all of that every time. Their stats are always right on the tip of my tongue, I never forget any of the details, and I love to review it when I book in for a new pregnancy! Especially with all of the said babies milling around me happily, playing with toys as I chat to the doctor! :)
My blood pressure was 109/68, typical low-ish blood pressure for me, nice and normal :) She did not weigh me (they never do here, but usually the doctor weighs me at book-in for a base weight for the notes). BUT I weighed myself last week when I was fully dressed, feeling annoyed with none of my jeans fitting me properly any more, and my skirts hanging off my hips and thus being a bit too long for my short legs! ;) I knew I was 9 stone something (a few lbs over 9st but can't remember exactly now) a couple of weeks before that, so I wondered if I had made it down to 9 stone or something? I don't do anything to lose weight but it does come off around this stage all the same, so it's worth keeping track of.
I seriously nearly fell off the scales when I saw 8 stone 7lbs!!!!! I haven't been as light as that since between Arthur and Matthew's pregnancies!!! I have no idea why, except that I do know the kidney stone and tummy bug both shifted a lot of weight off me in the stage where I normally do NOT lose any weight even if I try. So I guess it gave me a head start or something?! I don't know! Anyway I am pleased because it's a much better weight to start a pregnancy with (knowing I will pile on a LOT of weight pretty soon!), but also a little bit unsure about having lost this much so far, because I usually lose a fair bit more during the morning sickness stage. I was 7 stone 10lbs before having children, and my optimum weight was supposedly 8 stone 8lbs. I could NEVER make it to that, even on a dietitian-supervised high calorie diet, and after having Arthur I decided that I did not want to go back down below 8.5 stone ever again. I think I don't have the energy I need when I don't weigh enough, especially if I am parenting many small boys and breastfeeding at least one or two of them! ;) So in that sense I am a little insecure about having dropped quickly down to 8st 7lbs already. Hopefully I won't lose much more before I gain again with the pregnancy.
My GP highlighted in her report to the hospital the fact that I am bleeding. She hopes that they'll see it and arrange an early scan appointment, but if I haven't heard from them for a while (?!) then I can ring the antenatal clinic and they will put me through to the Early Pregnancy Unit where I can arrange myself a scan. I am only spotting brown, and it's definitely lighter now, but I do want to have a scan if I am allowed to, because it always brings me great peace of mind after a bleed. I am not particularly wanting to wait "a while" to see if they get in touch with me! I asked if the bleeding turns red again (it has, on and off, but not for a week maybe, now) what should I do? She said to call them and arrange a scan, not to go back to the GP like I used to be able to. So I will do that. I think I will call the hospital about it early next week, or maybe even Friday if I am impatient enough, haha! ;)
On arriving at the doctor's surgery, we met a mother pushing her baby in a pram coming out. She stopped and asked me if the boys were all mine, and I said yes (proudly!)! :) She said, "Oh well done! That's great!" So lovely! :) Once inside, we were early (I KNOW!!!!! ME!! EARLY!!! :D ) so we sat for a while near the entrance where the water cooler was, and I got the boys some water to drink. I was just organising them with their drinks when a lady with a baby sat down next to us and stared and smiled. After a minute an elderly man came in and straight off he asked me if they were all mine. I said yes. The lady gasped, haha! He asked me if they were all boys, and I said yes. The lady gasped again! ;) Then Arthur loudly proclaimed, "And number six is in her tummy!" with a huge smile, bless his heart! :) More gasps from the lady, and the sweet gentleman made the oft-mentioned comment about football teams, wished me luck, and smiled at us and went on his way.
Sitting in the waiting area at last, there were lots of people waiting, many with babies because it was a vaccination clinic at the same time. People STARED at us, but ever so kindly, with smiles and wide-eyed nods at me when I caught their looks, so it was nice :) For some reason, Arthur took off his shoes and socks while we were in with the doctor, and so we paused in the waiting area on the way out for him to put them back on. PACKED waiting room by then! Two ladies who looked like mother (elderly) and daughter (maybe 50s) sat smiling at us while he put his shoes on. Finally the younger lady suddenly said, "Excuse me, but have you got FIVE little boys?!" and I said yes (proudly again! I'm so proud of them and so happy that, yes, they're all mine!). She and her mother said, "Woowww!" and then Arthur stood up, ready to go, and in a very loud voice said again, "And number six is in her tummy!" The whole waiting room gasped, hahaha! The elderly lady said, "Ohh, shhh!" as though you shouldn't say about something like that, and her daughter said, "I see you don't have any secrets!" with a smile. ;) A lot of attention was directed towards us, and that used to make me squirm, but I am enjoying it now. I love my many small boys, and am so excited that God has chosen to bless me this way, and this MUCH! :) There's no much hiding away now, lol! So it's fun, especially when everybody is so nice about it. I know that not everybody is nice about it, but hopefully I will not meet many of them - I haven't yet, thankfully!
So it went well!
In other news, I am queasy today (a little here and there in the morning, but not much until lunchtime like the other days so far), but never really getting as far as full-on NAUSEA. I hope that's okay... In all my other pregnancies I felt pretty grim by the time I turned 6 weeks. I mean, I feel yucky, but not always, and it seems ever so mild. It does sometimes take a few days to really pick up strength, going by my pregnancy diary for my other pregnancies, but still, by 6 weeks it's usually at that point - maybe 6 weeks and a couple of days at the latest, but still it's worse than this at 6 weeks exactly all the same. Not sure what to make of that. I am eating protein in all my meals, and protein if I feel a bit yeurghy, but I don't know that I can put it all down to protein management! I mean, surely there were zillions of occasions that I ate protein when feeling grim in other pregnancies (think of all the gallons of cottage cheese I've consumed in early pregnancy, lol!) and it made no difference. I am VERY GLAD to be feeling only mildly sick. It's very manageable and the days are basically normal. I'm busier than I ever was before, but again I don't think I can put the easier nausea down to just being busy. There are many busy homeschooling mothers of many children who are still rendered horizontal for months by morning sickness, no matter how busy or distracted they may be!
I just hope it's okay. Because it's different from the other 5 times, it makes me a little bit uneasy, especially with the bleeding, but anyway. Hopefully I will get a scan and it will be good news, and reassuring. Tomorrow I am going for a scan of a different sort - a follow-up ultrasound on my kidney after the kidney stone, just to see if it's fine. I have had some aches and pains there pretty consistently since then, and it was completely obstructed for some time so I want to be sure it's okay.
Too tired to think straight now (been a really tired day today!) so I will go to bed now! :) Back soon though! Must take a "before" belly picture soon! :D
I have to be quick because it's really late and Samuel is stirring a bit, which means he could wake any moment (and I should be in bed!). Just wanted to update about my doctor's appointment today.
It went fine! Things have changed a bit apparently, and now everything goes from the GP to the hospital, which then acts as a sorting base, and gets me set up with the midwifery team, and arranges scan appointments, sends me info, etc. The GP no longer sends me for an early scan, I have to go through the hospital antenatal department for that. So, we spent a fair amount of time filling in the appropriate information! ;) This is because I have to give all the information on my previous babies (gestation, normal pregnancy/birth?, birth weight, location, gender, etc), and there are a few of them now, lol! LOVE going through all of that every time. Their stats are always right on the tip of my tongue, I never forget any of the details, and I love to review it when I book in for a new pregnancy! Especially with all of the said babies milling around me happily, playing with toys as I chat to the doctor! :)
My blood pressure was 109/68, typical low-ish blood pressure for me, nice and normal :) She did not weigh me (they never do here, but usually the doctor weighs me at book-in for a base weight for the notes). BUT I weighed myself last week when I was fully dressed, feeling annoyed with none of my jeans fitting me properly any more, and my skirts hanging off my hips and thus being a bit too long for my short legs! ;) I knew I was 9 stone something (a few lbs over 9st but can't remember exactly now) a couple of weeks before that, so I wondered if I had made it down to 9 stone or something? I don't do anything to lose weight but it does come off around this stage all the same, so it's worth keeping track of.
I seriously nearly fell off the scales when I saw 8 stone 7lbs!!!!! I haven't been as light as that since between Arthur and Matthew's pregnancies!!! I have no idea why, except that I do know the kidney stone and tummy bug both shifted a lot of weight off me in the stage where I normally do NOT lose any weight even if I try. So I guess it gave me a head start or something?! I don't know! Anyway I am pleased because it's a much better weight to start a pregnancy with (knowing I will pile on a LOT of weight pretty soon!), but also a little bit unsure about having lost this much so far, because I usually lose a fair bit more during the morning sickness stage. I was 7 stone 10lbs before having children, and my optimum weight was supposedly 8 stone 8lbs. I could NEVER make it to that, even on a dietitian-supervised high calorie diet, and after having Arthur I decided that I did not want to go back down below 8.5 stone ever again. I think I don't have the energy I need when I don't weigh enough, especially if I am parenting many small boys and breastfeeding at least one or two of them! ;) So in that sense I am a little insecure about having dropped quickly down to 8st 7lbs already. Hopefully I won't lose much more before I gain again with the pregnancy.
My GP highlighted in her report to the hospital the fact that I am bleeding. She hopes that they'll see it and arrange an early scan appointment, but if I haven't heard from them for a while (?!) then I can ring the antenatal clinic and they will put me through to the Early Pregnancy Unit where I can arrange myself a scan. I am only spotting brown, and it's definitely lighter now, but I do want to have a scan if I am allowed to, because it always brings me great peace of mind after a bleed. I am not particularly wanting to wait "a while" to see if they get in touch with me! I asked if the bleeding turns red again (it has, on and off, but not for a week maybe, now) what should I do? She said to call them and arrange a scan, not to go back to the GP like I used to be able to. So I will do that. I think I will call the hospital about it early next week, or maybe even Friday if I am impatient enough, haha! ;)
On arriving at the doctor's surgery, we met a mother pushing her baby in a pram coming out. She stopped and asked me if the boys were all mine, and I said yes (proudly!)! :) She said, "Oh well done! That's great!" So lovely! :) Once inside, we were early (I KNOW!!!!! ME!! EARLY!!! :D ) so we sat for a while near the entrance where the water cooler was, and I got the boys some water to drink. I was just organising them with their drinks when a lady with a baby sat down next to us and stared and smiled. After a minute an elderly man came in and straight off he asked me if they were all mine. I said yes. The lady gasped, haha! He asked me if they were all boys, and I said yes. The lady gasped again! ;) Then Arthur loudly proclaimed, "And number six is in her tummy!" with a huge smile, bless his heart! :) More gasps from the lady, and the sweet gentleman made the oft-mentioned comment about football teams, wished me luck, and smiled at us and went on his way.
Sitting in the waiting area at last, there were lots of people waiting, many with babies because it was a vaccination clinic at the same time. People STARED at us, but ever so kindly, with smiles and wide-eyed nods at me when I caught their looks, so it was nice :) For some reason, Arthur took off his shoes and socks while we were in with the doctor, and so we paused in the waiting area on the way out for him to put them back on. PACKED waiting room by then! Two ladies who looked like mother (elderly) and daughter (maybe 50s) sat smiling at us while he put his shoes on. Finally the younger lady suddenly said, "Excuse me, but have you got FIVE little boys?!" and I said yes (proudly again! I'm so proud of them and so happy that, yes, they're all mine!). She and her mother said, "Woowww!" and then Arthur stood up, ready to go, and in a very loud voice said again, "And number six is in her tummy!" The whole waiting room gasped, hahaha! The elderly lady said, "Ohh, shhh!" as though you shouldn't say about something like that, and her daughter said, "I see you don't have any secrets!" with a smile. ;) A lot of attention was directed towards us, and that used to make me squirm, but I am enjoying it now. I love my many small boys, and am so excited that God has chosen to bless me this way, and this MUCH! :) There's no much hiding away now, lol! So it's fun, especially when everybody is so nice about it. I know that not everybody is nice about it, but hopefully I will not meet many of them - I haven't yet, thankfully!
So it went well!
In other news, I am queasy today (a little here and there in the morning, but not much until lunchtime like the other days so far), but never really getting as far as full-on NAUSEA. I hope that's okay... In all my other pregnancies I felt pretty grim by the time I turned 6 weeks. I mean, I feel yucky, but not always, and it seems ever so mild. It does sometimes take a few days to really pick up strength, going by my pregnancy diary for my other pregnancies, but still, by 6 weeks it's usually at that point - maybe 6 weeks and a couple of days at the latest, but still it's worse than this at 6 weeks exactly all the same. Not sure what to make of that. I am eating protein in all my meals, and protein if I feel a bit yeurghy, but I don't know that I can put it all down to protein management! I mean, surely there were zillions of occasions that I ate protein when feeling grim in other pregnancies (think of all the gallons of cottage cheese I've consumed in early pregnancy, lol!) and it made no difference. I am VERY GLAD to be feeling only mildly sick. It's very manageable and the days are basically normal. I'm busier than I ever was before, but again I don't think I can put the easier nausea down to just being busy. There are many busy homeschooling mothers of many children who are still rendered horizontal for months by morning sickness, no matter how busy or distracted they may be!
I just hope it's okay. Because it's different from the other 5 times, it makes me a little bit uneasy, especially with the bleeding, but anyway. Hopefully I will get a scan and it will be good news, and reassuring. Tomorrow I am going for a scan of a different sort - a follow-up ultrasound on my kidney after the kidney stone, just to see if it's fine. I have had some aches and pains there pretty consistently since then, and it was completely obstructed for some time so I want to be sure it's okay.
Too tired to think straight now (been a really tired day today!) so I will go to bed now! :) Back soon though! Must take a "before" belly picture soon! :D
Monday, September 26, 2011
5 weeks, 5 days - nauseous!! :D
Nausea set in with hunger yesterday evening as we had to wait a bit for a late dinner! :) Not too bad, especially since it's a touch earlier than when it usually kicks in badly, but I'm still SO VERY RELIEVED!!! Today I felt fine in the morning, and as lunch time approached I began to feel a little bit yeurghy. Decided to tackle morning sickness with PROTEIN this time around, so ate a tuna/sweetcorn/mayo sandwich. I was so hungry! Felt a little better for it, but basically still queasy. And the quease has stayed ever since (as is typical for me - in a weird way the familiarity is nice! :) ) and gradually got a bit worse towards the evening, and dinner didn't really do much for it. Oh well! I just hope it doesn't get worse over the next few days (please please please please please!!) because right now this is yucky and unpleasant, but TOTALLY manageable. I made dinner without feeling too green over it, so I would be really happy to continue with this level of nausea - I have had a lot worse!
I am still spotting, just a little bit, and brown. Last BM (sorry!) did not have any red spotting afterwards, which is a first, yay!
I can also safely say that I am definitely peeing more frequently today and yesterday (much more so today than yesterday) at last! :) I am hungry about a couple of hours after a meal (SO hungry now, 3 hours after dinner with the boys, and anxiously awaiting the Tesco delivery as I type, because the hunger is making me more nauseous and we have run out of foooood!).
Neil is on the phone right now, telling all of his family that I am pregnant! :) Then I think I will wait no longer and blab on Facebook. I know I am spotting, and awaiting a scan, but I'm NAUSEOUS and so much reassured by it. The nausea last night, even though I tried not to at the time, had the immediate effect of HUGE excitement about this pregnancy - I think I have been trying to stay a little guarded, although I was excited and thrilled! Now I am able to let myself think of allll the wonderful things coming my way in May and before then - baby kicks, big glorious round tummy full of baby, fun scans, finding out the gender, naming our sweetie pie, the birth, ohhhhh the snuggles with a precious flopsy snuffly newborn! Breastfeeding afresh! New sibling relationships! All six of my children in one photo! Such joys, I just can't wait! I absolutely can not WAIT to hold a newborn again. *sigh* :D
Because I'm so very thrilled to be carrying and growing this specific tiny little person (heart beating, heart beating, how wonderful and exciting is that?!!! :D ), I just want the world to knoooow! I don't want to wait any more, even if the unthinkable happens and the pregnancy ends. I just want the world to celebrate with me, the existance and precious life of my tiny new baby, however long it may last here on earth! Oh how I pray that it will be many many decades! I already love him or her so very much!
The day after tomorrow I am 6 weeks pregnant (can't believe 6 weeks is just about HERE already!!) and I'll have my doctor's appointment. If I don't update before then, I will update on Wednesday about the appointment and how I'm doing. Thanks so much for rooting for me and being excited with me! It means such a lot to me! :)
I am still spotting, just a little bit, and brown. Last BM (sorry!) did not have any red spotting afterwards, which is a first, yay!
I can also safely say that I am definitely peeing more frequently today and yesterday (much more so today than yesterday) at last! :) I am hungry about a couple of hours after a meal (SO hungry now, 3 hours after dinner with the boys, and anxiously awaiting the Tesco delivery as I type, because the hunger is making me more nauseous and we have run out of foooood!).
Neil is on the phone right now, telling all of his family that I am pregnant! :) Then I think I will wait no longer and blab on Facebook. I know I am spotting, and awaiting a scan, but I'm NAUSEOUS and so much reassured by it. The nausea last night, even though I tried not to at the time, had the immediate effect of HUGE excitement about this pregnancy - I think I have been trying to stay a little guarded, although I was excited and thrilled! Now I am able to let myself think of allll the wonderful things coming my way in May and before then - baby kicks, big glorious round tummy full of baby, fun scans, finding out the gender, naming our sweetie pie, the birth, ohhhhh the snuggles with a precious flopsy snuffly newborn! Breastfeeding afresh! New sibling relationships! All six of my children in one photo! Such joys, I just can't wait! I absolutely can not WAIT to hold a newborn again. *sigh* :D
Because I'm so very thrilled to be carrying and growing this specific tiny little person (heart beating, heart beating, how wonderful and exciting is that?!!! :D ), I just want the world to knoooow! I don't want to wait any more, even if the unthinkable happens and the pregnancy ends. I just want the world to celebrate with me, the existance and precious life of my tiny new baby, however long it may last here on earth! Oh how I pray that it will be many many decades! I already love him or her so very much!
The day after tomorrow I am 6 weeks pregnant (can't believe 6 weeks is just about HERE already!!) and I'll have my doctor's appointment. If I don't update before then, I will update on Wednesday about the appointment and how I'm doing. Thanks so much for rooting for me and being excited with me! It means such a lot to me! :)
Saturday, September 24, 2011
5 weeks, 3 days
Sorry for a few days without an update! Just been busy, and had a little "trouble" in bloggyland. God loves us having lots of babies and submitting to Him. Satan does not! Nuff said.
Yesterday was an exhausting day. Neil had special day at work, in London, followed by a very dressed-up evening with dinner and such. He left for work at 6.30am, and did not come home until nearly midnight. I managed ever so well, and I'm so happy and proud of myself! :) I do manage the days fine with 5 little ones (which has been a learning curve! But I do now!), but the early start and then all that long time with bedtime, etc. by myself was a stretch I hadn't done before. I have sometimes done bedtime if Neil has worked late, and once or twice a friend from church has come round to help me, just randomly (thank you Lord for arranging that!), but this time I so wanted to test myself and see how I would do. I felt confident that I could manage that kind of day quite well, and I knew it would be a great feeling to do so. I did feel very very tired with the early pregnancy thing, but it was not too bad. We got all of school done, and I had to lie on the living room floor for half an hour in the afternoon while the boys listened to a story CD around me - I came over EXHAUSTED then! Everything went fine though, and bedtime was a little stressful with Samuel not sleeping and the other two littles being tired... it worked out in the end, and Nathey was asleep first by 7pm, Samuel by 7.30, Benjamin 7.45, and the big boys by 8.30. Phewee, I was so wiped out by the time I came downstairs! I needed to get some dinner for myself and I could barely see straight for a while, I just felt so tired! I rested up and actually plugged cable TV in (gasp! I never watch TV!) and flaked in front of some entertainment for most of the evening, and ate, and felt better. Samuel woke twice to feed, and Benjamin rolled off his mattress onto the floor once, but he didn't wake when I put him back. I was so happy to see my sweet hubby though, when he came wearily in! :)
Anyway, so no online time yesterday evening when I would have updated here.
I am now around the half-week mark already - 5 and a half weeks pregnant. I am still spotting brown. If I go for a BM, right afterwards the spotting becomes more red than brown, and then changes back to brown after a few hours. There's very little of it, regardless of colour, but enough to keep on wearing the pantyliners for now. I really don't like to see it change to red! Oh that did also happen yesterday at one point, not related to a BM. Late in the afternoon, I was just feeling physically tired out, and when I got Samuel up from his nap, I discovered he had brought up some milk on the sheets of the big bed, and also rubbed his hands and HEAD in it, yuck! So I needed to change the sheets, and bath the baby. Changing the sheets just about did me in! I was practically gasping - soooo breathless and exhausted, lol! That's early pregnancy for you! ;) It's a nice reminder that I *am* having pregnancy symptoms, as this one is familiar to me from early on in my pregnancies. Anyway, after that I went to run the bath, and that's when I realised I was bleeding a bit - red. So maybe it was an exertion thing?? I don't know what it's about! It's getting a bit old, to be honest (over 2 weeks straight now), but hey ho.
These next few days make me feel a bit anxious and apprehensive. In 4 days time I will be 6 weeks pregnant. By 6 weeks, I am always morning sick. Always. The first three pregnancies, it started with a bang at 5 weeks and 6 days exactly - although it might actually have been 5w5d with Nathan, I can't remember.... Anyway, then with Benjamin I was 5w3d, and it started that evening. With Samuel I started to feel somewhat queasy at exactly 5 weeks, my earliest start yet. It was full blown by a few days later. So far I am not morning sick. If I don't become so by 6 weeks, I will naturally feel very anxious about the pregnancy. I know I don't have to have morning sickness, or morning sickness starting at the same time each pregnancy, in order to have a healthy pregnancy, but with my history it seems somewhat unlikely doesn't it, for everything to be normal and okay if I am not sick by 6 weeks?
So in one way I am nervous that 4 days will pass and I will still be feeling fine, and then to deal with what that means, and what events must follow. And in another way I am nervous that within the next 4 days I will start feeling GRIMMER THAN GRIM and ohhhh how difficult a time that is!! ;) I know I will be blessed to feel sick, it will be great reassurance, but it's still makes me a bit apprehensive, in terms of dealing with the nausea whilst caring for and schooling my little boys! I know it can be done, but it will be difficult.
My temperature dipped yesterday, but I woke up out of the covers and cold, and earlier than usual given Neil's early departure! Today it was right back up again. Yesterday I took another pregnancy test with the first of my new cheapy tests, since it had been three days since the last one, and it was the same as the previous one, no darker, just the same. A strong positive, so I am just going to presume the pregnancy is going fine.
IF SO.... my baby has a heartbeat! :D It's so wonderful to be going about my day and then suddenly think of it, and lay my hand on my tummy low down and wonder at the thought of there being a teeny tiny heart beating inside. Makes me smile so much every time! :)
I wonder about this baby... I know it's waaaaaay more likely (let's face it!) for the baby to be a boy, but there's a girl's name in my head, and I did not put it there. It appeared the day before yesterday, and because it's not a name I would choose to name my baby girl, I put it out of my head. It came back a couple of hours later. Then that evening the name came up three times online - article authors, a sweet message that drew my attention by someone I don't know, with this name, etc. Every time I saw it, I got a feeling. I am not sure if I like the name or not. It's not a BAD name, but definitely not on my shortlist. I just wonder why it keeps coming back as a name that is familiar to me, as though it's already the name of one of my children. I prayed about it yesterday and asked God that if it's the name He wants me to use, that He would put it into Neil's head too. I think it's not likely that Neil would ever suggest this name, so if he does, I KNOW it's God! :) And I'm leaving it at that. Other than that I have had no thoughts on names. It did make me wonder because I remember that Samuel's name fell into our laps at 5 weeks. It popped in my head, and I LOVED it for that particular baby, even though it had been considered for other babies and not made it to the shortlist. When I called out to Neil in the kitchen to suggest the name, he loved it so much! So that's when I sort of knew it would be a boy, because there was a strong feeling that this was the baby's name, and Samuel being a boy's name... well! ;) I feel sort of like that about this girl's name, so I wonder...
[here endeth the crazy notion that I might possibly have a daughter ever, lol!]
I am not wanting a girl though. I am eager for a boy! I feel sliiiightly not-quite-at-ease now, with the whole baby girl thing, and I think it's because I feel so very rooted in growing, birthing, and raising baby boys. I know they're all just BABIES, but there's such a hype about it, isn't there?! I just feel comfortable continuing to have a baby boy each time! :) I am not really planning to think any further on the girl/boy thing, except to presume boy, unless proven otherwise at a scan. So that's that! :)
I phoned my brother this evening, to tell him I'm pregnant. He answered the phone, and after we'd said hi, he started laughing at Sarah, who was apparently making some sort of gesture in the background. She isn't the type to make rude gestures (!!) so I did not know what to think, and he didn't explain it. Then he said, "Have you got any news?!" and I said yes! He started to laugh at Sarah again, and then asked, "What's your news?!" I said, "Well, I'm going to have a baby!" His response was so lovely - what a refreshing phone call it was! He immediately congratulated me and said what wonderful news it was. Then he was able to tell me that Sarah had been making "big pregnant tummy" gestures when she heard it was me on the phone, lol! I said, "How did she know?!" and Bennie told me that she had been thinking of me only last week, and thought it was probably getting to be about the usual time for another baby, hehehe! Love that! :)
I did tell him that I've been bleeding since nearly the start of the pregnancy, and that I'm still spotting and will have a scan soonish. I'm going to update him after the scan, whenever it might be. I am getting fidgetty to get this doctor's appointment done now, just because I want to officially DO something for this pregnancy - book in for a start. And get started on a scan date to check on the baby with this bleeding. Wednesday afternoon can't come soon enough!!
Let's see, anything else? Symptom wise I am not noticing too much, but this is usually a quiet patch, right before the morning sickness usually kicks in. I did have some painful twinges in one breast today, and have also had a few moments of feeling a bit "cars-y" - you know where you sort of smell cars or petrol, and just the smell makes you feel a bit motion-queasy? Not nauseous yet, but just the first whiff of the feeling. That's how I've felt from time to time today, so mayyyybe the first inklings of morning sickness?? I think this is how it started with Samuel. I will have to double-check.
I put sweetcorn as one of the toppings on my homemade pizza this evening, and the smell of it from the can was like PETROL, honestly. Uggghhh. Tasted okay though. I've been loving me some mint imperials lately, but tonight they taste faintly of stale cigarettes, blech! I'm sooooo thirsty at the moment, and hungrier than usual as wel. Breakfast doesn't last me long, and I am shaky and hungry by the time it's time to make lunch - hard to get through making lunch for the boys and myself feeling that way. I have started to have to eat while I'm making their sandwiches. I am trying to eat high protein meals when I do feel that way, because I think that has helped the most (MUCH more than a sugar hit) in the past. The main stuff I have around is eggs and cheese right now, so I've been going for those. I have beans too, actually, so I could eat those too. I have been having issues with gassiness and constipation (oh the joys, lol!) so beans have made me nervous, haha!
I can't think of anything else right at this moment, so I think I'll finish for now, and post again soon. Tomorrow is Sunday and we'll go to church and relax in the afternoon. Today Neil took all 5 boys out to the park! Samuel was SO thrilled to go with them - he is usually napping when they go, but has been shortening his naps a bit lately. I am so grateful to Neil for doing that, because I had the chance to rest - well, make the pizza dough and set it to rise, and THEN rest! :) It was refreshing to my head to have a quiet house for an hour or two, and I just read my Above Rubies magazine and lay on the sofa. Since a few days after ovulating, I have really been hyper-sensitive to noise. Weird, and I'm sure that's not a pregnancy symptom, or one I've noticed in pregnancy before, but there it is. OH! I just suddenly remembered after Arthur... I think it was my first conception after Arthur, which ended as a chemical pregnancy, I had a BUNCH of pregnancy symptoms with that, but one of them was that Arthur was too LOUD for my ears, it was unbearable. I remember barely being able to contain my irritation one time when Neil was home from work, and having to just take a time out upstairs. My ears could not STAND it! It was almost like I needed to scratch them off my head to deal with the noise. Weird. Anyway, this time has been the same, only THIS time I have 5 small noisy children, lol! It has been very difficult at times, and I wish I had set up a regular Quiet Time in the house that they could be used to, but I haven't. It's noisy ALL. THE. TIME! Which is normal, with 5 boys under 7! ;) But hard on my sensitive pregnant ears this time around. So peace and quiet at the weekend for a couple of hours is really so therapeutic. I feel like I want to cry with the relief on my ears and brain! ;) And then ironically, I miss the noise after about 2 hours and welcome it back as they tumble out of the van and into the house, all telling me about their walk at once! :)
Okay, enough! Must get ready for bed! Will write again soon - thanks so much for the comments last entry! Still can't BELIEVE I'm having my 6th baby!!! :D xxx
Yesterday was an exhausting day. Neil had special day at work, in London, followed by a very dressed-up evening with dinner and such. He left for work at 6.30am, and did not come home until nearly midnight. I managed ever so well, and I'm so happy and proud of myself! :) I do manage the days fine with 5 little ones (which has been a learning curve! But I do now!), but the early start and then all that long time with bedtime, etc. by myself was a stretch I hadn't done before. I have sometimes done bedtime if Neil has worked late, and once or twice a friend from church has come round to help me, just randomly (thank you Lord for arranging that!), but this time I so wanted to test myself and see how I would do. I felt confident that I could manage that kind of day quite well, and I knew it would be a great feeling to do so. I did feel very very tired with the early pregnancy thing, but it was not too bad. We got all of school done, and I had to lie on the living room floor for half an hour in the afternoon while the boys listened to a story CD around me - I came over EXHAUSTED then! Everything went fine though, and bedtime was a little stressful with Samuel not sleeping and the other two littles being tired... it worked out in the end, and Nathey was asleep first by 7pm, Samuel by 7.30, Benjamin 7.45, and the big boys by 8.30. Phewee, I was so wiped out by the time I came downstairs! I needed to get some dinner for myself and I could barely see straight for a while, I just felt so tired! I rested up and actually plugged cable TV in (gasp! I never watch TV!) and flaked in front of some entertainment for most of the evening, and ate, and felt better. Samuel woke twice to feed, and Benjamin rolled off his mattress onto the floor once, but he didn't wake when I put him back. I was so happy to see my sweet hubby though, when he came wearily in! :)
Anyway, so no online time yesterday evening when I would have updated here.
I am now around the half-week mark already - 5 and a half weeks pregnant. I am still spotting brown. If I go for a BM, right afterwards the spotting becomes more red than brown, and then changes back to brown after a few hours. There's very little of it, regardless of colour, but enough to keep on wearing the pantyliners for now. I really don't like to see it change to red! Oh that did also happen yesterday at one point, not related to a BM. Late in the afternoon, I was just feeling physically tired out, and when I got Samuel up from his nap, I discovered he had brought up some milk on the sheets of the big bed, and also rubbed his hands and HEAD in it, yuck! So I needed to change the sheets, and bath the baby. Changing the sheets just about did me in! I was practically gasping - soooo breathless and exhausted, lol! That's early pregnancy for you! ;) It's a nice reminder that I *am* having pregnancy symptoms, as this one is familiar to me from early on in my pregnancies. Anyway, after that I went to run the bath, and that's when I realised I was bleeding a bit - red. So maybe it was an exertion thing?? I don't know what it's about! It's getting a bit old, to be honest (over 2 weeks straight now), but hey ho.
These next few days make me feel a bit anxious and apprehensive. In 4 days time I will be 6 weeks pregnant. By 6 weeks, I am always morning sick. Always. The first three pregnancies, it started with a bang at 5 weeks and 6 days exactly - although it might actually have been 5w5d with Nathan, I can't remember.... Anyway, then with Benjamin I was 5w3d, and it started that evening. With Samuel I started to feel somewhat queasy at exactly 5 weeks, my earliest start yet. It was full blown by a few days later. So far I am not morning sick. If I don't become so by 6 weeks, I will naturally feel very anxious about the pregnancy. I know I don't have to have morning sickness, or morning sickness starting at the same time each pregnancy, in order to have a healthy pregnancy, but with my history it seems somewhat unlikely doesn't it, for everything to be normal and okay if I am not sick by 6 weeks?
So in one way I am nervous that 4 days will pass and I will still be feeling fine, and then to deal with what that means, and what events must follow. And in another way I am nervous that within the next 4 days I will start feeling GRIMMER THAN GRIM and ohhhh how difficult a time that is!! ;) I know I will be blessed to feel sick, it will be great reassurance, but it's still makes me a bit apprehensive, in terms of dealing with the nausea whilst caring for and schooling my little boys! I know it can be done, but it will be difficult.
My temperature dipped yesterday, but I woke up out of the covers and cold, and earlier than usual given Neil's early departure! Today it was right back up again. Yesterday I took another pregnancy test with the first of my new cheapy tests, since it had been three days since the last one, and it was the same as the previous one, no darker, just the same. A strong positive, so I am just going to presume the pregnancy is going fine.
IF SO.... my baby has a heartbeat! :D It's so wonderful to be going about my day and then suddenly think of it, and lay my hand on my tummy low down and wonder at the thought of there being a teeny tiny heart beating inside. Makes me smile so much every time! :)
I wonder about this baby... I know it's waaaaaay more likely (let's face it!) for the baby to be a boy, but there's a girl's name in my head, and I did not put it there. It appeared the day before yesterday, and because it's not a name I would choose to name my baby girl, I put it out of my head. It came back a couple of hours later. Then that evening the name came up three times online - article authors, a sweet message that drew my attention by someone I don't know, with this name, etc. Every time I saw it, I got a feeling. I am not sure if I like the name or not. It's not a BAD name, but definitely not on my shortlist. I just wonder why it keeps coming back as a name that is familiar to me, as though it's already the name of one of my children. I prayed about it yesterday and asked God that if it's the name He wants me to use, that He would put it into Neil's head too. I think it's not likely that Neil would ever suggest this name, so if he does, I KNOW it's God! :) And I'm leaving it at that. Other than that I have had no thoughts on names. It did make me wonder because I remember that Samuel's name fell into our laps at 5 weeks. It popped in my head, and I LOVED it for that particular baby, even though it had been considered for other babies and not made it to the shortlist. When I called out to Neil in the kitchen to suggest the name, he loved it so much! So that's when I sort of knew it would be a boy, because there was a strong feeling that this was the baby's name, and Samuel being a boy's name... well! ;) I feel sort of like that about this girl's name, so I wonder...
[here endeth the crazy notion that I might possibly have a daughter ever, lol!]
I am not wanting a girl though. I am eager for a boy! I feel sliiiightly not-quite-at-ease now, with the whole baby girl thing, and I think it's because I feel so very rooted in growing, birthing, and raising baby boys. I know they're all just BABIES, but there's such a hype about it, isn't there?! I just feel comfortable continuing to have a baby boy each time! :) I am not really planning to think any further on the girl/boy thing, except to presume boy, unless proven otherwise at a scan. So that's that! :)
I phoned my brother this evening, to tell him I'm pregnant. He answered the phone, and after we'd said hi, he started laughing at Sarah, who was apparently making some sort of gesture in the background. She isn't the type to make rude gestures (!!) so I did not know what to think, and he didn't explain it. Then he said, "Have you got any news?!" and I said yes! He started to laugh at Sarah again, and then asked, "What's your news?!" I said, "Well, I'm going to have a baby!" His response was so lovely - what a refreshing phone call it was! He immediately congratulated me and said what wonderful news it was. Then he was able to tell me that Sarah had been making "big pregnant tummy" gestures when she heard it was me on the phone, lol! I said, "How did she know?!" and Bennie told me that she had been thinking of me only last week, and thought it was probably getting to be about the usual time for another baby, hehehe! Love that! :)
I did tell him that I've been bleeding since nearly the start of the pregnancy, and that I'm still spotting and will have a scan soonish. I'm going to update him after the scan, whenever it might be. I am getting fidgetty to get this doctor's appointment done now, just because I want to officially DO something for this pregnancy - book in for a start. And get started on a scan date to check on the baby with this bleeding. Wednesday afternoon can't come soon enough!!
Let's see, anything else? Symptom wise I am not noticing too much, but this is usually a quiet patch, right before the morning sickness usually kicks in. I did have some painful twinges in one breast today, and have also had a few moments of feeling a bit "cars-y" - you know where you sort of smell cars or petrol, and just the smell makes you feel a bit motion-queasy? Not nauseous yet, but just the first whiff of the feeling. That's how I've felt from time to time today, so mayyyybe the first inklings of morning sickness?? I think this is how it started with Samuel. I will have to double-check.
I put sweetcorn as one of the toppings on my homemade pizza this evening, and the smell of it from the can was like PETROL, honestly. Uggghhh. Tasted okay though. I've been loving me some mint imperials lately, but tonight they taste faintly of stale cigarettes, blech! I'm sooooo thirsty at the moment, and hungrier than usual as wel. Breakfast doesn't last me long, and I am shaky and hungry by the time it's time to make lunch - hard to get through making lunch for the boys and myself feeling that way. I have started to have to eat while I'm making their sandwiches. I am trying to eat high protein meals when I do feel that way, because I think that has helped the most (MUCH more than a sugar hit) in the past. The main stuff I have around is eggs and cheese right now, so I've been going for those. I have beans too, actually, so I could eat those too. I have been having issues with gassiness and constipation (oh the joys, lol!) so beans have made me nervous, haha!
I can't think of anything else right at this moment, so I think I'll finish for now, and post again soon. Tomorrow is Sunday and we'll go to church and relax in the afternoon. Today Neil took all 5 boys out to the park! Samuel was SO thrilled to go with them - he is usually napping when they go, but has been shortening his naps a bit lately. I am so grateful to Neil for doing that, because I had the chance to rest - well, make the pizza dough and set it to rise, and THEN rest! :) It was refreshing to my head to have a quiet house for an hour or two, and I just read my Above Rubies magazine and lay on the sofa. Since a few days after ovulating, I have really been hyper-sensitive to noise. Weird, and I'm sure that's not a pregnancy symptom, or one I've noticed in pregnancy before, but there it is. OH! I just suddenly remembered after Arthur... I think it was my first conception after Arthur, which ended as a chemical pregnancy, I had a BUNCH of pregnancy symptoms with that, but one of them was that Arthur was too LOUD for my ears, it was unbearable. I remember barely being able to contain my irritation one time when Neil was home from work, and having to just take a time out upstairs. My ears could not STAND it! It was almost like I needed to scratch them off my head to deal with the noise. Weird. Anyway, this time has been the same, only THIS time I have 5 small noisy children, lol! It has been very difficult at times, and I wish I had set up a regular Quiet Time in the house that they could be used to, but I haven't. It's noisy ALL. THE. TIME! Which is normal, with 5 boys under 7! ;) But hard on my sensitive pregnant ears this time around. So peace and quiet at the weekend for a couple of hours is really so therapeutic. I feel like I want to cry with the relief on my ears and brain! ;) And then ironically, I miss the noise after about 2 hours and welcome it back as they tumble out of the van and into the house, all telling me about their walk at once! :)
Okay, enough! Must get ready for bed! Will write again soon - thanks so much for the comments last entry! Still can't BELIEVE I'm having my 6th baby!!! :D xxx
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
5 weeks! :)
Well, I have arrived at 5 weeks pregnant! :) That's got to say something, right? I hope all is going well in there. Thanks for commenting, and for asking how I'm doing! So nice to check in and read things like that! :) I am doing fine right now.
This morning my temperature went up a fair bit, so that's reassuring! I also received my cheapy pregnancy tests in the post mid-morning, so I can have those to fall back on any time I want to check to see if I'm really still pregnant! Because of all the uncertainty, it's beginning to feel a bit surreal. I don't really feel all that pregnant at the moment - which actually is something I usually write in my blog around the 5 week mark, so I was reassured by reading that last night as well. I feel a bit easily irritable, a bit tired, but not EXHAUSTED like I was before... slightly yeurghy especially on getting up, as though my tummy is tired out and I am just not interested in breakfast. But I'm enjoying food today. I am, however, REALLY hungry, so that's pregnant of me at least! I don't know that I'm peeing any more frequently than usual yet, maybe a little bit. I'm not always noticing that difference this early to be honest. Things seem about normal for me at 5 weeks, which is a bit vague and surreal. By this time next week, if all is well, things should be a LOT different and I should be unable to move for how pregnant I feel! ;)
Today I had to take the boys to the doctor's for the nurse to do their vaccinations. This nurse has seen the boys a lot over the years, and seen little ones added to our family many times now. So she welcomed us, and did their jabs (Matthew had two, Benjamin was meant to get two but was so traumatised by the first one that she decided to leave the second one for next time! And Samuel had two again). Then out of curiosity I asked her what time the GP clinic opened in the afternoon (the nurse does stuff in between the GP clinics), because I thought maybe I could actually make an appointment to see a doctor RIGHT THERE AND THEN, and book my pregnancy in. Hopefully it would just be a case of waiting around a little bit, if the timing was good, and then it would be done and I wouldn't have to haul the boys back there again at all. So instead of telling me the answer, she helpfully turned to her computer and brought up the appointments for the afternoon! She asked who I wanted to see, and I knew that my GP did not work afternoons, but then she told me that she DOES do afternoons occasionally. The next one was next Wednesday, a week away. I really like to keep mornings free for homeschool. She said, "Is it for yourself?" and I said, "I need to book in a new pregnancy." I was SO not expecting her reaction! I hadn't finished the word "pregnancy", and she threw her arms up and clapped loudly above her head, and yelled out, "Yeah!" She laughed out loud and congratulated me, and said how wonderful that was! :D It was sooooo lovely! I could tell she was not expecting me to say it, and her reaction was just that - pure reaction, and I love that! Such a sweet lady! She is so nice with the boys. She knows we homeschool, and spent a good 10 minutes this afternoon letting Arthur help her sort equipment and talk about what each thing was for.
Anyway, she ended up booking an appointment for me right there in the nurse's room, for me to see my GP next Wednesday afternoon, to avoid messing with homeschool. But this evening I feel that I don't really want to wait that long. I will be 6 weeks pregnant next Wednesday, if I get that far. I asked if that would be a bit late to book in, given that they get full very quickly. But she said 6 weeks should be okay, so I went with that. But a week feels like AGES, and also I didn't mention the bleeding to the nurse. I think I would like to go to see my GP TOMORROW and tell her, "Look, I'm 5 weeks pregnant, but I've been bleeding since the start of it all, and it's not going away!" and ask for some help. That way I'll be booked in sooner, and I will have the wheels turning earlier for getting a scan. I know she will book me in for an early scan at the Early Pregnancy Unit at the hospital, and that will probably be sometime after turning 6 weeks pregnant, maybe even the end of next week? I don't know. All I know is, I increasingly WANT that scan, to know what's going on. Especially as the pregnancy still continues and the days are passing, and 4 weeks has turned into 5 weeks, and so on. In two days from now, my baby's rudimentary heart should start beating! I am feeling more and more attached to this little one and excited about his/her development inside me, and I'm beginning to want - NEED - that confirmation to know whether I can relax and be excited, or just to know that I should let it go. If I show signs of miscarriage in the next few days, I would still appreciate a scan when it's booked for in any case, to confirm complete miscarriage, since I'm no longer looking at just a late period if the pregnancy ends now.
There's a little person in there now. Over the next couple of days the tiny neural tube will be "zippered" closed. Ohhhh I pray it closes completely. I have only been taking folic acid since I knew I was pregnant, and a few times since I ovulated, given that I suddenly realised I had a chance of being pregnant. I wish I had thought to start taking it months ago! :S Anyway, I can't believe how much development has already taken place by 5 weeks. The early cells that will become the ears are already in place! The muscular tubes that will fuse to form the heart are already developed, and over the next day or two they will fuse. The moment they fuse, the S-shaped rudimentary heart will spontaneously start beating. SO. Amazing. I want to just absorb myself in the miracle that is taking place inside me, sooo much! But that will bond me with my baby, and I am cautious... I hope all these things ARE taking place.
As far as my body is concerned, the pregnancy seems to be fairly stable, in a way. I mean, I have made it to 5 weeks, and implantation is complete, so I am thinking the short luteal phase (for example) would have affected even a healthy pregnancy by now, and caused it to come to an end? I don't know what the bleeding is about, but it seems like my pregnancy is now well established, to still be going. A miscarriage that occurs most commonly between 5 and 6 weeks is nearly always due to chromosomal problems - something wrong with the baby. So that wouldn't cause this bleeding from 7DPO would it? So it doesn't necessarily mean that I would miscarry at any point? I don't know. I wish I knew!! Someone mentioned my progesterone levels, but I don't know a thing about getting that checked, or even if they do it in the UK.
Today I have had more of the dark brown spotting, not very much of it at all really, as the previous day or two. This evening I went for a BM, and noticed light red spotting/cm after that. So maybe that specific occasion could be from my cervix? I was told once when I was spotting in pregnancy that constipation can cause the cervix to be irritated and bleed a little, and I am constipated right now (the usual for me at this stage of pregnancy) so maybe... Although that can't account for the BLEEDING, or the ongoing spotting for two weeks straight now. I hope to get some answers soon, so Neil is going to arrange to go in to work 90 minutes late and make up the time, so that I can get an early doctor's appointment in the morning and go without the boys while he stays home with them. I will be so glad to get that done! :)
I will still check my temperature in the morning, although I know that temping isn't all that clear-cut in pregnancy (thanks for reminding me Valerie!) - they can bounce around a bit. I know trusting God is about letting go of it all and just leaving it to Him. I know it's all in His hands anyway! I should stop probably... maybe. It's something I'm happier doing though, for now. I know it makes no difference to the outcome of the pregnancy, whether I temp or test, or not, AND what those things say. But I like to keep check... So I will temp again in the morning. I would rather a heads-up in the morning than a shock later in the day, unhappy and unsure as that might make me in the morning. I also feel so happy to keep seeing visible evidence of this little one inside me by actually being able to see his/her little HCG staring up at me from my test stick! :) I may test tomorrow, but I know there's no need. Maybe I'll wait a bit longer. Depends on my temp, perhaps.
I'll keep updating. That is helping me too. I can't wait to be able to relax and rejoice all over the place about this baby! I WOULD right this second if I was 100% sure he/she was okay in there! I want to tell the world right now. I want to tell Facebook and everyone I bump into in the street, "God has blessed us again!! I'm pregnant!! I'm expecting a baby!! We're thrilled!! I'm due in May!" and all that fun stuff. I hope I will be able to soon! I look forward to it so much, and the thought of it keeps me going! :)
This morning my temperature went up a fair bit, so that's reassuring! I also received my cheapy pregnancy tests in the post mid-morning, so I can have those to fall back on any time I want to check to see if I'm really still pregnant! Because of all the uncertainty, it's beginning to feel a bit surreal. I don't really feel all that pregnant at the moment - which actually is something I usually write in my blog around the 5 week mark, so I was reassured by reading that last night as well. I feel a bit easily irritable, a bit tired, but not EXHAUSTED like I was before... slightly yeurghy especially on getting up, as though my tummy is tired out and I am just not interested in breakfast. But I'm enjoying food today. I am, however, REALLY hungry, so that's pregnant of me at least! I don't know that I'm peeing any more frequently than usual yet, maybe a little bit. I'm not always noticing that difference this early to be honest. Things seem about normal for me at 5 weeks, which is a bit vague and surreal. By this time next week, if all is well, things should be a LOT different and I should be unable to move for how pregnant I feel! ;)
Today I had to take the boys to the doctor's for the nurse to do their vaccinations. This nurse has seen the boys a lot over the years, and seen little ones added to our family many times now. So she welcomed us, and did their jabs (Matthew had two, Benjamin was meant to get two but was so traumatised by the first one that she decided to leave the second one for next time! And Samuel had two again). Then out of curiosity I asked her what time the GP clinic opened in the afternoon (the nurse does stuff in between the GP clinics), because I thought maybe I could actually make an appointment to see a doctor RIGHT THERE AND THEN, and book my pregnancy in. Hopefully it would just be a case of waiting around a little bit, if the timing was good, and then it would be done and I wouldn't have to haul the boys back there again at all. So instead of telling me the answer, she helpfully turned to her computer and brought up the appointments for the afternoon! She asked who I wanted to see, and I knew that my GP did not work afternoons, but then she told me that she DOES do afternoons occasionally. The next one was next Wednesday, a week away. I really like to keep mornings free for homeschool. She said, "Is it for yourself?" and I said, "I need to book in a new pregnancy." I was SO not expecting her reaction! I hadn't finished the word "pregnancy", and she threw her arms up and clapped loudly above her head, and yelled out, "Yeah!" She laughed out loud and congratulated me, and said how wonderful that was! :D It was sooooo lovely! I could tell she was not expecting me to say it, and her reaction was just that - pure reaction, and I love that! Such a sweet lady! She is so nice with the boys. She knows we homeschool, and spent a good 10 minutes this afternoon letting Arthur help her sort equipment and talk about what each thing was for.
Anyway, she ended up booking an appointment for me right there in the nurse's room, for me to see my GP next Wednesday afternoon, to avoid messing with homeschool. But this evening I feel that I don't really want to wait that long. I will be 6 weeks pregnant next Wednesday, if I get that far. I asked if that would be a bit late to book in, given that they get full very quickly. But she said 6 weeks should be okay, so I went with that. But a week feels like AGES, and also I didn't mention the bleeding to the nurse. I think I would like to go to see my GP TOMORROW and tell her, "Look, I'm 5 weeks pregnant, but I've been bleeding since the start of it all, and it's not going away!" and ask for some help. That way I'll be booked in sooner, and I will have the wheels turning earlier for getting a scan. I know she will book me in for an early scan at the Early Pregnancy Unit at the hospital, and that will probably be sometime after turning 6 weeks pregnant, maybe even the end of next week? I don't know. All I know is, I increasingly WANT that scan, to know what's going on. Especially as the pregnancy still continues and the days are passing, and 4 weeks has turned into 5 weeks, and so on. In two days from now, my baby's rudimentary heart should start beating! I am feeling more and more attached to this little one and excited about his/her development inside me, and I'm beginning to want - NEED - that confirmation to know whether I can relax and be excited, or just to know that I should let it go. If I show signs of miscarriage in the next few days, I would still appreciate a scan when it's booked for in any case, to confirm complete miscarriage, since I'm no longer looking at just a late period if the pregnancy ends now.
There's a little person in there now. Over the next couple of days the tiny neural tube will be "zippered" closed. Ohhhh I pray it closes completely. I have only been taking folic acid since I knew I was pregnant, and a few times since I ovulated, given that I suddenly realised I had a chance of being pregnant. I wish I had thought to start taking it months ago! :S Anyway, I can't believe how much development has already taken place by 5 weeks. The early cells that will become the ears are already in place! The muscular tubes that will fuse to form the heart are already developed, and over the next day or two they will fuse. The moment they fuse, the S-shaped rudimentary heart will spontaneously start beating. SO. Amazing. I want to just absorb myself in the miracle that is taking place inside me, sooo much! But that will bond me with my baby, and I am cautious... I hope all these things ARE taking place.
As far as my body is concerned, the pregnancy seems to be fairly stable, in a way. I mean, I have made it to 5 weeks, and implantation is complete, so I am thinking the short luteal phase (for example) would have affected even a healthy pregnancy by now, and caused it to come to an end? I don't know what the bleeding is about, but it seems like my pregnancy is now well established, to still be going. A miscarriage that occurs most commonly between 5 and 6 weeks is nearly always due to chromosomal problems - something wrong with the baby. So that wouldn't cause this bleeding from 7DPO would it? So it doesn't necessarily mean that I would miscarry at any point? I don't know. I wish I knew!! Someone mentioned my progesterone levels, but I don't know a thing about getting that checked, or even if they do it in the UK.
Today I have had more of the dark brown spotting, not very much of it at all really, as the previous day or two. This evening I went for a BM, and noticed light red spotting/cm after that. So maybe that specific occasion could be from my cervix? I was told once when I was spotting in pregnancy that constipation can cause the cervix to be irritated and bleed a little, and I am constipated right now (the usual for me at this stage of pregnancy) so maybe... Although that can't account for the BLEEDING, or the ongoing spotting for two weeks straight now. I hope to get some answers soon, so Neil is going to arrange to go in to work 90 minutes late and make up the time, so that I can get an early doctor's appointment in the morning and go without the boys while he stays home with them. I will be so glad to get that done! :)
I will still check my temperature in the morning, although I know that temping isn't all that clear-cut in pregnancy (thanks for reminding me Valerie!) - they can bounce around a bit. I know trusting God is about letting go of it all and just leaving it to Him. I know it's all in His hands anyway! I should stop probably... maybe. It's something I'm happier doing though, for now. I know it makes no difference to the outcome of the pregnancy, whether I temp or test, or not, AND what those things say. But I like to keep check... So I will temp again in the morning. I would rather a heads-up in the morning than a shock later in the day, unhappy and unsure as that might make me in the morning. I also feel so happy to keep seeing visible evidence of this little one inside me by actually being able to see his/her little HCG staring up at me from my test stick! :) I may test tomorrow, but I know there's no need. Maybe I'll wait a bit longer. Depends on my temp, perhaps.
I'll keep updating. That is helping me too. I can't wait to be able to relax and rejoice all over the place about this baby! I WOULD right this second if I was 100% sure he/she was okay in there! I want to tell the world right now. I want to tell Facebook and everyone I bump into in the street, "God has blessed us again!! I'm pregnant!! I'm expecting a baby!! We're thrilled!! I'm due in May!" and all that fun stuff. I hope I will be able to soon! I look forward to it so much, and the thought of it keeps me going! :)
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
4 weeks, 6 days
Still here! :)
Still not sure what to make of anything. This morning started out very uncertain for me. I temped and although it's STILL triphasic, it's a touch lower yet again (that's 3 days in a row now), so it's a bit inconclusive really :S Also I used my last pregnancy test and it was almost exactly the same as the last test I took at 17DPO (I'm at 20DPO today) - the test line showed up immediately, before the control line even did, and it's nice and dark. BUT, when I let it dry out and then held it with the previous test stick, I wonder if it's slightly lighter than the older test. I wish I had a photo, but my camera battery is dead and I just haven't had a chance to find the charger today and get it charged. I ordered a pack of 10 more cheapy test sticks online today, and the place I get them from is usually really really quick with postage, so they might even arrive tomorrow morning. I don't plan on testing tomorrow though.
I have had no more red bleeding, or brown bleeding, for that matter. I am continuing to have brown spotting as before, maybe a tad more reddish because of the recent red bleeding, but still basically brown spotting. It's pretty light. I keep going to the loo to check but nothing much more is happening. I am really not sure what to make of it!!
I am quite calm about it all right now. I'm still happy to be pregnant, and anxiety isn't gnawing at me at all. I will either go on to miscarry, or go on to have some pretty obvious confirmations that I am having a healthy pregnancy, soon. What will be will be, and worrying can't change that. This, folks, is the power of God, I promise you, because I EXCEL at worrying. If something could be stressed over, I'm your girl! I would pass a test in needless anxiety with distinction! ;) To not be stressing about this is supernatural, for me. And I'm grateful.
I do have the odd bit of achiness in my lower back today, and a sort of crampy feeling low in my abdomen, but more like an achy fullness than anything else.
Homeschooling and the general pace of the daily day-ness of life is very very wonderful right now. It's keeping me so busy and occupied and grounded, and I am glad of it. The day passes quickly, and oh it's just so much better than flapping about trying to keep the boys under control. Homeschooling is so ordered (when you pull your finger out and actually GET IT DONE - which I was not doing before September), and life is so much easier and just.... better, somehow, than not homeschooling! :) Anyway, it has been helpful to me. My evenings are occupied with preparing school for an hour or so, for the next day - mainly just the maths lessons, which are fun and easy to prepare for the stages the boys are at right now.
Tomorrow then, I am 5 weeks pregnant! I don't know whether to "be" 5 weeks pregnant or wonder if the pregnancy has ended and I'm waiting for the hormones to catch up (temp will show this over the next couple of days if so). This evening I am feeling pretty WELL. Not that haven't been feeling well, but there has been such an exhaustion and an element of mild queasiness and not wanting to eat. Today I have had that too, but I'm SO HUNGRY behind that feeling. I made chicken noodle soup for dinner and it wasn't difficult to make - no smells made me queasy (not sure if they should yet, from my past experience though?). This evening I have actually eaten and enjoyed chocolate (sweet food = no-no in general at this stage), and then just now before bed a bowl of cereal. I am second guessing myself, I know, but I wonder if that's normal for this stage or not? I wasn't wanting to eat much in the evenings over this past week... I feel quite alert and not too wiped out this evening, though I have felt EXHAUSTED most of today up until the evening.
Anyway I have made it to another bedtime, and so in the morning I will see what my temperature is. If it is lower then I wonder if I will start to bleed that day? If it's the same, then I guess it is inconclusive again, because it's still "up there" right now. Tomorrow I have three little boys getting vaccinations - so much fun! ;) So I need to work hard to get school done in the morning and then lunch and get the boys all ready to go to the doctor's in the afternoon. I hope I do not bleed in the process of allll that. And I wish there was a way I could see the doctor to book in my pregnancy, just in case it IS all okay! I should have done so by now if it's going to be okay. And also she would be able to book me an ultrasound in a week or so, which is something I want. Must sort that out!
I can't think what else.... My little one is hopefully working on a neural tube right now, and implantation was complete 4 days ago already. I hope that's what's happening in there.... The boys have mentioned Sausage a lot today, with happy smiles, and I have not found it easy to go along with them lightheartedly, but I have tried to make myself anyway. I hope they are not going to be let down.
Will update tomorrow - thanks so much for the comments! xx
Still not sure what to make of anything. This morning started out very uncertain for me. I temped and although it's STILL triphasic, it's a touch lower yet again (that's 3 days in a row now), so it's a bit inconclusive really :S Also I used my last pregnancy test and it was almost exactly the same as the last test I took at 17DPO (I'm at 20DPO today) - the test line showed up immediately, before the control line even did, and it's nice and dark. BUT, when I let it dry out and then held it with the previous test stick, I wonder if it's slightly lighter than the older test. I wish I had a photo, but my camera battery is dead and I just haven't had a chance to find the charger today and get it charged. I ordered a pack of 10 more cheapy test sticks online today, and the place I get them from is usually really really quick with postage, so they might even arrive tomorrow morning. I don't plan on testing tomorrow though.
I have had no more red bleeding, or brown bleeding, for that matter. I am continuing to have brown spotting as before, maybe a tad more reddish because of the recent red bleeding, but still basically brown spotting. It's pretty light. I keep going to the loo to check but nothing much more is happening. I am really not sure what to make of it!!
I am quite calm about it all right now. I'm still happy to be pregnant, and anxiety isn't gnawing at me at all. I will either go on to miscarry, or go on to have some pretty obvious confirmations that I am having a healthy pregnancy, soon. What will be will be, and worrying can't change that. This, folks, is the power of God, I promise you, because I EXCEL at worrying. If something could be stressed over, I'm your girl! I would pass a test in needless anxiety with distinction! ;) To not be stressing about this is supernatural, for me. And I'm grateful.
I do have the odd bit of achiness in my lower back today, and a sort of crampy feeling low in my abdomen, but more like an achy fullness than anything else.
Homeschooling and the general pace of the daily day-ness of life is very very wonderful right now. It's keeping me so busy and occupied and grounded, and I am glad of it. The day passes quickly, and oh it's just so much better than flapping about trying to keep the boys under control. Homeschooling is so ordered (when you pull your finger out and actually GET IT DONE - which I was not doing before September), and life is so much easier and just.... better, somehow, than not homeschooling! :) Anyway, it has been helpful to me. My evenings are occupied with preparing school for an hour or so, for the next day - mainly just the maths lessons, which are fun and easy to prepare for the stages the boys are at right now.
Tomorrow then, I am 5 weeks pregnant! I don't know whether to "be" 5 weeks pregnant or wonder if the pregnancy has ended and I'm waiting for the hormones to catch up (temp will show this over the next couple of days if so). This evening I am feeling pretty WELL. Not that haven't been feeling well, but there has been such an exhaustion and an element of mild queasiness and not wanting to eat. Today I have had that too, but I'm SO HUNGRY behind that feeling. I made chicken noodle soup for dinner and it wasn't difficult to make - no smells made me queasy (not sure if they should yet, from my past experience though?). This evening I have actually eaten and enjoyed chocolate (sweet food = no-no in general at this stage), and then just now before bed a bowl of cereal. I am second guessing myself, I know, but I wonder if that's normal for this stage or not? I wasn't wanting to eat much in the evenings over this past week... I feel quite alert and not too wiped out this evening, though I have felt EXHAUSTED most of today up until the evening.
Anyway I have made it to another bedtime, and so in the morning I will see what my temperature is. If it is lower then I wonder if I will start to bleed that day? If it's the same, then I guess it is inconclusive again, because it's still "up there" right now. Tomorrow I have three little boys getting vaccinations - so much fun! ;) So I need to work hard to get school done in the morning and then lunch and get the boys all ready to go to the doctor's in the afternoon. I hope I do not bleed in the process of allll that. And I wish there was a way I could see the doctor to book in my pregnancy, just in case it IS all okay! I should have done so by now if it's going to be okay. And also she would be able to book me an ultrasound in a week or so, which is something I want. Must sort that out!
I can't think what else.... My little one is hopefully working on a neural tube right now, and implantation was complete 4 days ago already. I hope that's what's happening in there.... The boys have mentioned Sausage a lot today, with happy smiles, and I have not found it easy to go along with them lightheartedly, but I have tried to make myself anyway. I hope they are not going to be let down.
Will update tomorrow - thanks so much for the comments! xx
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