Sorry for a few days without an update! Just been busy, and had a little "trouble" in bloggyland. God loves us having lots of babies and submitting to Him. Satan does not! Nuff said.
Yesterday was an exhausting day. Neil had special day at work, in London, followed by a very dressed-up evening with dinner and such. He left for work at 6.30am, and did not come home until nearly midnight. I managed ever so well, and I'm so happy and proud of myself! :) I do manage the days fine with 5 little ones (which has been a learning curve! But I do now!), but the early start and then all that long time with bedtime, etc. by myself was a stretch I hadn't done before. I have sometimes done bedtime if Neil has worked late, and once or twice a friend from church has come round to help me, just randomly (thank you Lord for arranging that!), but this time I so wanted to test myself and see how I would do. I felt confident that I could manage that kind of day quite well, and I knew it would be a great feeling to do so. I did feel very very tired with the early pregnancy thing, but it was not too bad. We got all of school done, and I had to lie on the living room floor for half an hour in the afternoon while the boys listened to a story CD around me - I came over EXHAUSTED then! Everything went fine though, and bedtime was a little stressful with Samuel not sleeping and the other two littles being tired... it worked out in the end, and Nathey was asleep first by 7pm, Samuel by 7.30, Benjamin 7.45, and the big boys by 8.30. Phewee, I was so wiped out by the time I came downstairs! I needed to get some dinner for myself and I could barely see straight for a while, I just felt so tired! I rested up and actually plugged cable TV in (gasp! I never watch TV!) and flaked in front of some entertainment for most of the evening, and ate, and felt better. Samuel woke twice to feed, and Benjamin rolled off his mattress onto the floor once, but he didn't wake when I put him back. I was so happy to see my sweet hubby though, when he came wearily in! :)
Anyway, so no online time yesterday evening when I would have updated here.
I am now around the half-week mark already - 5 and a half weeks pregnant. I am still spotting brown. If I go for a BM, right afterwards the spotting becomes more red than brown, and then changes back to brown after a few hours. There's very little of it, regardless of colour, but enough to keep on wearing the pantyliners for now. I really don't like to see it change to red! Oh that did also happen yesterday at one point, not related to a BM. Late in the afternoon, I was just feeling physically tired out, and when I got Samuel up from his nap, I discovered he had brought up some milk on the sheets of the big bed, and also rubbed his hands and HEAD in it, yuck! So I needed to change the sheets, and bath the baby. Changing the sheets just about did me in! I was practically gasping - soooo breathless and exhausted, lol! That's early pregnancy for you! ;) It's a nice reminder that I *am* having pregnancy symptoms, as this one is familiar to me from early on in my pregnancies. Anyway, after that I went to run the bath, and that's when I realised I was bleeding a bit - red. So maybe it was an exertion thing?? I don't know what it's about! It's getting a bit old, to be honest (over 2 weeks straight now), but hey ho.
These next few days make me feel a bit anxious and apprehensive. In 4 days time I will be 6 weeks pregnant. By 6 weeks, I am always morning sick. Always. The first three pregnancies, it started with a bang at 5 weeks and 6 days exactly - although it might actually have been 5w5d with Nathan, I can't remember.... Anyway, then with Benjamin I was 5w3d, and it started that evening. With Samuel I started to feel somewhat queasy at exactly 5 weeks, my earliest start yet. It was full blown by a few days later. So far I am not morning sick. If I don't become so by 6 weeks, I will naturally feel very anxious about the pregnancy. I know I don't have to have morning sickness, or morning sickness starting at the same time each pregnancy, in order to have a healthy pregnancy, but with my history it seems somewhat unlikely doesn't it, for everything to be normal and okay if I am not sick by 6 weeks?
So in one way I am nervous that 4 days will pass and I will still be feeling fine, and then to deal with what that means, and what events must follow. And in another way I am nervous that within the next 4 days I will start feeling GRIMMER THAN GRIM and ohhhh how difficult a time that is!! ;) I know I will be blessed to feel sick, it will be great reassurance, but it's still makes me a bit apprehensive, in terms of dealing with the nausea whilst caring for and schooling my little boys! I know it can be done, but it will be difficult.
My temperature dipped yesterday, but I woke up out of the covers and cold, and earlier than usual given Neil's early departure! Today it was right back up again. Yesterday I took another pregnancy test with the first of my new cheapy tests, since it had been three days since the last one, and it was the same as the previous one, no darker, just the same. A strong positive, so I am just going to presume the pregnancy is going fine.
IF SO.... my baby has a heartbeat! :D It's so wonderful to be going about my day and then suddenly think of it, and lay my hand on my tummy low down and wonder at the thought of there being a teeny tiny heart beating inside. Makes me smile so much every time! :)
I wonder about this baby... I know it's waaaaaay more likely (let's face it!) for the baby to be a boy, but there's a girl's name in my head, and I did not put it there. It appeared the day before yesterday, and because it's not a name I would choose to name my baby girl, I put it out of my head. It came back a couple of hours later. Then that evening the name came up three times online - article authors, a sweet message that drew my attention by someone I don't know, with this name, etc. Every time I saw it, I got a feeling. I am not sure if I like the name or not. It's not a BAD name, but definitely not on my shortlist. I just wonder why it keeps coming back as a name that is familiar to me, as though it's already the name of one of my children. I prayed about it yesterday and asked God that if it's the name He wants me to use, that He would put it into Neil's head too. I think it's not likely that Neil would ever suggest this name, so if he does, I KNOW it's God! :) And I'm leaving it at that. Other than that I have had no thoughts on names. It did make me wonder because I remember that Samuel's name fell into our laps at 5 weeks. It popped in my head, and I LOVED it for that particular baby, even though it had been considered for other babies and not made it to the shortlist. When I called out to Neil in the kitchen to suggest the name, he loved it so much! So that's when I sort of knew it would be a boy, because there was a strong feeling that this was the baby's name, and Samuel being a boy's name... well! ;) I feel sort of like that about this girl's name, so I wonder...
[here endeth the crazy notion that I might possibly have a daughter ever, lol!]
I am not wanting a girl though. I am eager for a boy! I feel sliiiightly not-quite-at-ease now, with the whole baby girl thing, and I think it's because I feel so very rooted in growing, birthing, and raising baby boys. I know they're all just BABIES, but there's such a hype about it, isn't there?! I just feel comfortable continuing to have a baby boy each time! :) I am not really planning to think any further on the girl/boy thing, except to presume boy, unless proven otherwise at a scan. So that's that! :)
I phoned my brother this evening, to tell him I'm pregnant. He answered the phone, and after we'd said hi, he started laughing at Sarah, who was apparently making some sort of gesture in the background. She isn't the type to make rude gestures (!!) so I did not know what to think, and he didn't explain it. Then he said, "Have you got any news?!" and I said yes! He started to laugh at Sarah again, and then asked, "What's your news?!" I said, "Well, I'm going to have a baby!" His response was so lovely - what a refreshing phone call it was! He immediately congratulated me and said what wonderful news it was. Then he was able to tell me that Sarah had been making "big pregnant tummy" gestures when she heard it was me on the phone, lol! I said, "How did she know?!" and Bennie told me that she had been thinking of me only last week, and thought it was probably getting to be about the usual time for another baby, hehehe! Love that! :)
I did tell him that I've been bleeding since nearly the start of the pregnancy, and that I'm still spotting and will have a scan soonish. I'm going to update him after the scan, whenever it might be. I am getting fidgetty to get this doctor's appointment done now, just because I want to officially DO something for this pregnancy - book in for a start. And get started on a scan date to check on the baby with this bleeding. Wednesday afternoon can't come soon enough!!
Let's see, anything else? Symptom wise I am not noticing too much, but this is usually a quiet patch, right before the morning sickness usually kicks in. I did have some painful twinges in one breast today, and have also had a few moments of feeling a bit "cars-y" - you know where you sort of smell cars or petrol, and just the smell makes you feel a bit motion-queasy? Not nauseous yet, but just the first whiff of the feeling. That's how I've felt from time to time today, so mayyyybe the first inklings of morning sickness?? I think this is how it started with Samuel. I will have to double-check.
I put sweetcorn as one of the toppings on my homemade pizza this evening, and the smell of it from the can was like PETROL, honestly. Uggghhh. Tasted okay though. I've been loving me some mint imperials lately, but tonight they taste faintly of stale cigarettes, blech! I'm sooooo thirsty at the moment, and hungrier than usual as wel. Breakfast doesn't last me long, and I am shaky and hungry by the time it's time to make lunch - hard to get through making lunch for the boys and myself feeling that way. I have started to have to eat while I'm making their sandwiches. I am trying to eat high protein meals when I do feel that way, because I think that has helped the most (MUCH more than a sugar hit) in the past. The main stuff I have around is eggs and cheese right now, so I've been going for those. I have beans too, actually, so I could eat those too. I have been having issues with gassiness and constipation (oh the joys, lol!) so beans have made me nervous, haha!
I can't think of anything else right at this moment, so I think I'll finish for now, and post again soon. Tomorrow is Sunday and we'll go to church and relax in the afternoon. Today Neil took all 5 boys out to the park! Samuel was SO thrilled to go with them - he is usually napping when they go, but has been shortening his naps a bit lately. I am so grateful to Neil for doing that, because I had the chance to rest - well, make the pizza dough and set it to rise, and THEN rest! :) It was refreshing to my head to have a quiet house for an hour or two, and I just read my Above Rubies magazine and lay on the sofa. Since a few days after ovulating, I have really been hyper-sensitive to noise. Weird, and I'm sure that's not a pregnancy symptom, or one I've noticed in pregnancy before, but there it is. OH! I just suddenly remembered after Arthur... I think it was my first conception after Arthur, which ended as a chemical pregnancy, I had a BUNCH of pregnancy symptoms with that, but one of them was that Arthur was too LOUD for my ears, it was unbearable. I remember barely being able to contain my irritation one time when Neil was home from work, and having to just take a time out upstairs. My ears could not STAND it! It was almost like I needed to scratch them off my head to deal with the noise. Weird. Anyway, this time has been the same, only THIS time I have 5 small noisy children, lol! It has been very difficult at times, and I wish I had set up a regular Quiet Time in the house that they could be used to, but I haven't. It's noisy ALL. THE. TIME! Which is normal, with 5 boys under 7! ;) But hard on my sensitive pregnant ears this time around. So peace and quiet at the weekend for a couple of hours is really so therapeutic. I feel like I want to cry with the relief on my ears and brain! ;) And then ironically, I miss the noise after about 2 hours and welcome it back as they tumble out of the van and into the house, all telling me about their walk at once! :)
Okay, enough! Must get ready for bed! Will write again soon - thanks so much for the comments last entry! Still can't BELIEVE I'm having my 6th baby!!! :D xxx
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