Can't believe I'm still here counting the days since my due date! FIVE now!
Well, it's 10.50pm and I have absolutely no signs of labour yet again. Nothing at all to report through the day either. I did get pretty deflated at one point earlier in the day, and phoned Heather to update her around that time. We ended up having a long chat which was ever so helpful. She suggested that I should have a bit of a change of scenery, and also to try a few things to relax a bit. She said that Neil and I should watch a movie together tonight, just to relax and be distracted from baby-related stuff. And that I should drink a glass of red wine while we watched it! :) She also suggested that we have parsnips (haven't used that term in a while, so if you're new here and have no idea what I'm talking about - "parsnips" is my code word to stop gross googlers stopping by! ;) ), but neither of us have wanted to. We did watch a movie in bed together and drink a glass of red wine, and it was SUCH a nice relaxing evening! :) I also opened a big tin of Quality Street that I was going to save for Christmas, and that has been a nice treat as well! :)
Heather said that we should plan to go out somewhere tomorrow, as a family. Nothing too much, just a local walk where I can do a little bit of walking out in the fresh air, and the little ones can run about. We got 5 inches of snow today (not too common in the London area!) and it's not going to get above freezing over the next 48 hours, so it will all still be there to play in tomorrow. We're going to go to the park and have a change of scenery, since it's Sunday and Neil will be home. I should make sure I take a phone with me, just in case, but otherwise it's supposed to be a distraction and change in activity for me. I am just like a watched pot now - never boiling!!
I felt loads better after my chat with Heather, and told her so. She just said, "That's what doulas are for!" :) LOVE having a doula, and still so grateful to Michelle for talking me into getting one last pregnancy!
I have not bothered too much with checking for "signs" today. I haven't checked my cervix, and I'm not going to again either. I haven't checked for a show all day long, although the times I have been to the loo anyway have been rather disappointing in that department! But never mind. He'll come when he comes. If he doesn't come tomorrow, I am feeling so depressed about the prospect of Monday rolling round - 41 weeks exactly - and Neil going off to work again. The midwife will come round that day too. Heather is coming over at around 3pm (the midwife can turn up any time from 3pm after clinic finishes, but sometimes not until as late as 4pm) to be with me, and to see the boys, and I'm so looking forward to that moral support, and the break in the day having someone around. I know they will offer me a sweep on Monday, and I think now that I will accept it. They will also want to book me an appointment to be induced, and you know what? I think I will take that too. Heather was saying earlier that she thinks I would be much less stressed about waiting if it wasn't for Christmas being so close, and she's right. It's a pain having Christmas SO CLOSE and nothing happening! I do not want to be in hospital on Christmas Day or even Christmas Eve - I want to be at home with my little ones! If I am induced as early as 10 days past my due date, it will still be December 23rd and if it doesn't all kick off straight away, I may not have Heather with me for my birth. She is able to be with me up to and including December 23rd, and then not until the 27th (by which time I will have had the baby one way or another). If I DO give birth on the 23rd but bleed afterwards, or even don't bleed but they want to keep Samuel in to observe him re. the GBS, then I could easily find myself stuck in hospital late on Christmas Eve or even on Christmas Day. And I just DON'T. WANT. THAT. I will be so unhappy if I'm there on Christmas Day instead of at home with my children. For that reason I think I would want to be induced no later than December 22nd, which is Wednesday. Nine days past my due date. Not that far away. If it was any other time of year, I would probably be resisting induction even beyond the 12 days with the help of my doula. But Christmas really does throw a different spin on it for me, and makes things seem more complicated, and that changes how I am choosing to handle things.
I talked with Heather about it, and she was very supportive and understanding - her job is just to support me in my choices and she does it ever so well. She does not think I will need to be induced - she is sure the baby will come before then, and it seems statistically likely to me too, but in all other ways I am losing confidence, since just NOTHING is happening! Heather reminded me today that labour can start only a couple of hours down the line when you're feeling like it's never going to happen. Or a few days still. There's just no way to know, but it CAN happen.
Anyway. I have passed the 13th, 14th, 15th, 16th, 17th and now the 18th of December! Tomorrow is the 19th. Too many days have now gone by for me to keep on thinking each day, "Maybe the ____th will be Samuel's birthday?!" in excited anticipation. I am leaning more towards, "Tomorrow's the 19th.... I don't expect he'll have that day as a birthday either." But I certainly do hope he comes soon! I REALLY REALLY don't want to get into the 20s of December. Come on Samuel B. Bamuel (yes, he has daft nicknames already, poor child!) - Mummy is LONGING to hold you in her arms now! Please come out soon.
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