41 weeks today!

Well here I am at 41 weeks pregnant! By this time with Matthew's pregnancy, he was born, so this is officially my longest gestation ever!

Today I had my 41-week midwife appointment (having woken with no contractions once again). Oh but last night at about midnight, I went to the loo and when I wiped I found enough mucus plug to definitely call it a "show", but it wasn't the more exciting "bloody show" at all. Just goop of the same type I've been having here and there, but more of it. I also had some uncomfortable/somewhat painful Braxton Hicks through the evening, but other than that nothing, and in the morning all was quiet again. After I breastfed Benjamin at 5.30am or something crazy, I went back to sleep, and when I woke it was 9.45am!!! When I went downstairs to find out what was going on, Neil told me he decided to stay home again, mainly because of the show and the midwife appointment. His work are fine about it. The only thing about it is the fact that he doesn't have many more paid days off that he's eligible for, and he hasn't started paternity leave yet, so that will mostly be unpaid. But never mind, I guess! I was soooo glad and thankful that he was home today.

Heather came over at about 2pm. She brought homemade chocolate cake - how the boys LOVE Heather, hehe! After we ate that, we went upstairs to chat so that the boys wouldn't distract us too much (we did try it downstairs first but it was not going smoothly!). We talked about the options that might come up during the midwife appointment and how I felt about each one. Then about an hour later, Kerry (the midwife who was at Benjamin's birth and who was also in my brother's class at school!) turned up to do my appointment. She was brilliant, really sensitive and professional. She asked me what my thoughts were on everything, and then we discussed it all. I wondered about induction (since we had to discuss it today) BEFORE Christmas, and she said that might be an option, but that they might also allow me to wait till after Christmas, since the usual time for induction at my hospital is 40 weeks and 11 days or 40 weeks and 12 days, and that would be Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. She said she'd find out for me and ring me later.

My blood pressure was 130/77 which she said was fine but which seem REALLY high for me! Still, I'm 41 weeks pregnant so I guess that has a little to do with it?! I've had my b/p go up a little at the very end with more than one of my other pregnancies, without it being abnormal or worrisome. My urine was fine. She felt my tummy - Samuel got the hiccups just as she was arriving for the appointment and didn't stop until she'd nearly finished, hehe! He's still head down and anterior, which I'm so glad about! I don't think this particular baby has ever been found to be posterior at a midwife appointment, which is unlike several of his brothers! ;) I'm happy about that too. His head is only 2/5 palpable above my pubic bone, so he is engaged! Yay! Kerry's doppler battery had died during the day so she got out her Pinard stethoscope (I have one of those!) and used that instead. For some reason I LOVED that! Old-fashioned midwifery and its tools - love it! She heard his heartrate at 140bpm.

After that we discussed a sweep, well, I just said yes please as soon as she mentioned one, lol! And there I was saying I wouldn't be having one of those only a few weeks ago! ;) I know it's an "intervention" but honestly I'd much prefer that to the type that I'll have to go into hospital for in a short while if nothing else happens! If it works that's great, and I'll take it.

So she checked my cervix while she was at it, and said it was soft and stretchy (good news!), 2cm dilated, and still 1cm thick. I haven't had any contractions as such to press Samuel's head onto it to thin it out, so that's not too surprising. She told me that because my cervix is already soft and dilated, they would not have to bother with the Prostin gel to induce me, if it came to that, because my cervix was already doing what the Prostin gel is supposed to do. I'm dilated enough for them to break my waters, which is what the next stage would be before the IV induction process. So that's good too.

The sweep was ever so quick, which she said was due to it being easy to do with the soft/stretchy-ness, but quite painful. Kerry said she gave it a good tug, so hopefully things would kick off! ;) Within 10 minutes (we were still discussing things and she was writing my notes) I started to feel ever so crampy like a period, and if I had a Braxton Hicks it really hurt in the small of my back. I didn't mention that at all because I knew it was DAFT to think it could take effect so quickly! It's supposed to be a "within 24 hours or so" thing! I did ask how soon it COULD take effect, but she didn't really have an answer for me - just that it would be within 24 hours or so if it happened. She booked an appointment for her to come back on Wednesday this week and do another sweep if the first one hasn't worked.

After she went, I asked Heather about the crampiness, and she was enthusiastic about it. She said it CAN happen within the first hour of a sweep, so I shouldn't brush off the crampiness or sore BHs as nothing at all. Obviously the sweep itself can make you just sore and crampy, and then all fade away if it doesn't take effect, so you can't be too sure!

Heather chatted with me for a while longer, and then went downstairs saying I should have some time to just chill out and relax, while she played with the boys! They were longing to play with her and just spend some time with her, and Neil was starting to cook sausages for dinner. So I relaxed and prayed through my prayers about the birth, and checked my messages online. Heather stayed for an hour playing with the boys and their wooden train track, and I could hear that they were SO thrilled and having a lovely time with her! After Kerry phoned, I went downstairs, as I was having some sore Braxton Hicks and generally felt very uncomfortable and crampy, and if Samuel moved even slightly it felt like sharp needles in my cervix (my poor cervix!). Heather got her things together and went home because she said it seemed like she might need to come back later! She left her slippers behind! But never mind, she said she won't need to bring any when she comes "later"! :)

So we ate and bathed the boys and got them ready for bed. All the while I was just so sore! Mainly feeling kind of hurty around my cervix inside, and also periody crampy in my low tummy and back, which also felt very tight. Any time Samuel moved it was sore, and I had Braxton Hicks here and there which hurt in the small of my back too. As soon as the boys were in bed, I went to the toilet, and found a PROPER bloody show! :) More mucus plug than before, and quite well pink/brown stained. I phoned Heather straight away because I was doubtful about it being an exciting enough discovery, as I'd had a sweep a few hours before. I felt like it could easily just be some blood from the aggravation to my cervix itself rather than to do with labour coming. Heather reminded me (I'd forgotten already!) that Kerry said blood is one thing - and if there's frank blood and more than a little of it, I should go in to hospital to be checked, because that wouldn't be normal - but if it's mucus with blood in it, that's the plug and not just an annoyed cervix. So that was encouraging I guess! I still stayed kind of guarded about whether it was worth getting my hopes up over though.

Heather asked me to phone again before I went to bed to give her an update. So this evening I have sat in bed and mainly just watched episodes of The Duggars on YouTube, and relaxed as best I could. I phoned my mum to keep her posted, and that's it really. I have continued to feel really sore and uncomfy all evening, especially with any movement from Samuel. I have had parts of the evening where I'd be getting BHs quite a bit, and then an hour with nothing much at all, or the ones I would get would be painless, as though my soreness from the actual sweep was calming down. Every time I went to the loo I would have a little bit more blood-stained mucus plug, but not much.

Between 10 and 10.30pm I decided to open another window on my browser and use Contraction Master to time my Braxton Hicks, painless or not, just to see if there was any sort of pattern to report to Heather when I phoned her before bed. I think I charted 7 or 8 contractions over that time, and they WERE more regular than I thought, coming about every 4 minutes, with a 3 and a 7 thrown in there too. They were also all lasting about 40-45 seconds, with one only 25 seconds and another just over a minute long. Many were not painful though, and those that hurt were just sore in a sharp way low down at the front and in what I presume to be my cervical area, so that could just be the sweep I presume?

Anyway, I also started to feel kind of queasy and just a bit anxious about the upcoming event, if it was going to be happening, I mean REALLY happening (!!) soon. Right before I phoned Heather I went to the toilet for a last check on the show to be able to give her the latest news, and found a LOT of it, this time quite heavily RED blood-stained (and some brown). It wasn't bleeding as such though, it was all part of the mucus (sorry for all this TMI! I just want it for my own records!). So THAT really did get me thinking that things were starting off, or would be very soon.

Right away after that I felt queasier than ever and also needed to empty my bowels - another promising sign I guess! ;) I also felt quite shaky. I phoned Heather and she said, "Excellent!" with great enthusiasm to everything I reported, even the queasy/shaky thing!! I said it was NOT excellent to be feeling queasy and shaky, but she said it was a good good sign. I suddenly felt (and still do!) very nervous and apprehensive about the night ahead. I don't know if I'll go into labour during the night but it's a strong possibility. While I have been typing this (it's midnight now), I have had a lot of Braxton Hicks that have hurt very sharply low down at the front of my bump, and that's kind of suspicious to me, sweep or not. Plus the very obvious bloody show... Even with a sweep, the fact that I just lost some redder show makes me think it's not just left over from a previously annoyed cervix. A bloody show is a good indicator that labour is less than 24 hours away. In my own experience, I have only had 2 proper shows for my 4 labours, and both times the bloody shows were followed by labour contractions within 6 hours or less.

I still feel sick and yucky, but less shaky since Neil prayed with me. Now that I've updated here, I'm going to try to sleep. I am REALLY tired so I hope I'll be able to. Right now I don't have any significant contractions to keep me awake, but I have to say that is kind of changing as I type this entry - things are getting uncomfortable enough so that I think it would distract me as I try to lie still in the dark with no distractions and fall asleep. See - right now I have a contraction going on that just plain HURTS low down. It's searing and sore. But I'm good at staying in denial in early labour, haha! I keep putting it down to any manner of things until it's REALLY obvious that I'm in proper labour (long after the midwife was here last time!). So I don't know. But Heather says I can ring her any time during the night if my waters break, I feel like things are getting going, I have a concern or question that needs addressing now and can't wait, or I just can't sleep and wish Heather was here! :) She said she can happily sleep on the sofa if nothing much is happening and I'm trying to sleep, and if everything has stopped by the morning she'll just go home again - no big deal! Did I mention I love my doula?

So I have my phone (well, Neil's - I don't actually have one!) charging by the bed, because Heather likes to be texted in the night rather than phoned - she sleeps through the ring but not the text sound apparently, and it disturbs her family less obviously. I might still wake up in the morning and said, "Oh. I'm still here!" but she doesn't think so. I am not sure. I still think I could wake up with nothing happening in the morning, because it's just gone on so long with nothing happening even with the odd "sign" here and there, so I'm losing confidence in these things!

Samuel is wiggling right now and it's a sore as anything on my cervix when he does, almost too much to bear, so I'm going to go to the toilet one last time and then to bed, and hope for some sleep. And that I don't get queasier or start throwing up! I'm still so scared of doing that. I feel better that I did though. I'm just nervous!!! I really don't want to go through labour and birth tonight! Or at all, suddenly! But I know I have to eventually, and it'll be SO worth it! I'm a bit scared about the placenta being delivered and what might happen with it, after the baby is born... But I just have to pray and give it all to God, and trust Him. There's nothing else I can do. I think I also feel a bit weirdly insecure because it's dark and night time and that just doesn't feel as "settled" to me to be feeling sore or yucky as when it's day time. I am just like that, I guess. I would probably feel more secure in the day time. It snowed again this evening, another inch or two, so hopefully that won't slow down anyone coming to attend me if things move really fast! I would NOT want to be without a midwife this time, given that my placenta might possibly cause me issues within a short time after giving birth.

In case it DOES happen tonight, and I don't get chance to update again before it does, please please pray that God will be close to me and keep me safe and without fear. And that labour will be quick and manageable somehow! And that the placenta just plops on out with its lobe and all, and not much bleeding. Thank you so much in advance for your prayers! It means ever so much to me! xxx