I'm still here!!! Moving into 9DPO (it's late, tsk!)!! I'm so glad my luteal phase is longer than last cycle, yay! :)
I have a lot to report for today, and it's late so I need to do it sort of bullet-point-y, otherwise I'll waffle and ramble and still be up just a few hours before I need to wake up and temp again, haha! ;)
My temperature went UP this morning!!!!! I was so excited to see it, I don't know WHY I am quite this excited, really, but I apparently am! It's my highest temp this cycle, and in a way it surprised me after yesterday's temp drop, but in all other ways it was not a surprise. I woke up just FEELING luteal-phase-ish still, overly warm and all that stuff. Subtle things that I'm pretty familiar with now. So it was 36.8 this morning, and I was so pleased because with a temp like that I certainly did not expect to see my period today. And it hasn't arrived! In fact, not any sign of it coming at all right now.
I am double excited really, because I have had bad cramps on and off (this morning I even considered taking painkillers once or twice, seriously) for 48 hours now with NO period following. Now, that has never ever happened to me before (ever) except when I have been pregnant. Ever.
I have to tell you, no matter whether my temp drops in the morning and my period does show - I know I sound like a broken record or something, but I absolutely completely feel like I am pregnant. It's not so much the queasiness that started late afternoon and hung around through the evening today, or the flatulence that's becoming rather ridiculous now (!!), typical of a pregnant luteal phase for me, or the other things that could easily be me mis-reading PMS signs. It's none of that. The convincing stuff is the stuff which, in my LONG history of charting and over-analyzing every tiny detail of my body's signs and symptoms (!), ONLY happens when conception and implantation has taken place (or started to, at least). Some things, for me, NEVER take place otherwise. And the cramping is one of them.
Today the cramps have changed over the course of the day, and I wanted to detail that here for my "records", for comparison really.
This morning right from waking I had pelvic discomfort across the whole area and through to my back, right across the small of my back. It was just "hurty/crampy" (from my FF chart notes that I jot down through the day if I get chance, so I don't forget anything later!). That kind of feeling has continued fairly continuously throughout the day. Sometimes the backache has felt so uncomfortable that I couldn't get comfy sitting on the sofa.
During the first part of the morning I started to be aware of a new feeling which went on to be pretty constant and bothersome for the rest of the morning and then on and off through the afternoon and evening. It felt like a sort of pulling/searing pain (well, "pain" is a bit strong, but cramp isn't really the right word, and it was more than discomfort) right across the whole area inside my hips and from the pit of my abdomen up to my bikini line. It was much more focused behind my pubic bone (maybe even lower, that's how it felt). At the same time, further out to just inside my hips (further up near my bikini line) I had a sensation very much like mild ligament pain (as in, the type of ligament pain I experience a bit later on during my pregnancies, just a miiiild version of it), a sort of stretching-ish feeling, but not quick flashes like real ligament pains - it was constant and very uncomfortable.
I have had sort of burny pressure sensations very low and central (once or twice today those turned into yucky hot vice-like cramps that radiated outwards to my hips low down, just for a minute each time maybe, but I was SO SURE my period had arrived both times and went running to the loo to sort it out!). The pressure feeling is strange with the pulling/stretching feeling further out! It's an odd combination to feel. I am so very familiar with this kind of feeling that I know pretty much for sure that it's because implantation is underway. Even so, I just have no idea if my luteal phase can support it, so it's a wait and see thing again, and I must not let myself get too excited about the possibility.
I have more CM than usual again today, but less than yesterday for sure. My crampy sensations are a little easier this evening but the backache is bothersome. I haven't had any time at all today from waking till now without some sort of cramping or pelvic discomfort, so something is definitely going on! I never have this before a period, even RIGHT before, not to this degree.
I'm not particularly aware of any breast discomfort today, but I still think they are bigger than they were.
I charted weirdly soft skin today!!!! :D I asked Neil to verify (he's my Quality Control Guy, haha! Very strict standards!) and he said yes, and then that he wasn't sure. I feel sure, and for him to even say yes to start with is enough for me, so I charted it! ;) That's a very strong pregnancy sign for me. I've never had that without being pregnant (as Megan noted!).
I feel too warm today. It's not warm (though a LOVELY sunny day today!) but I have had all the windows open today! So nice! :) I feel burny behind my skin, especially on my face (keep getting flushed) and in my eyes and can't seem to feel the cold at all. I have some new spots (hormonal) on my face today, just a couple. That's not usual for me at all before a period. Specifically I get a few on my neck (for some weird reason!) before a period, but never on my face. I do sometimes note spots on my face in pregnant luteal phases though, especially Nathan and Benjamin's pregnancies (and some chemical pregnancies).
Okay so if you have seen my chart today, you probably saw that I was a bit of a crazy woman and peed on a stick at only EIGHT days past ovulation, hahaha! ;) Yes, yes, I know, but they're expiring as I type this and sitting in the drawer calling my name!! With a high temp and reaching 8DPO when I wasn't sure if would, I just had to test! Of course it was negative! ;) I am sure I saw a shadowy line, but I couldn't possibly call it anything except negative. I had to really stand on my head and close one eye and spread my toes apart to see the "line", so I am very likely just seeing things, hehe! I have been back to it in various lights (!) over the day and still see the shadow, but it's just that, a shadowiness, not a line. I'm so silly! ;) I will test every day until either my temp drops or I get a positive test, I think. Just to use up the expiring tests, of course! Can't have them going to waste! ;)
That all said, now that I've jumped about here all excited, I will likely get my temp drop and period tomorrow! It's still entirely possible. If I do, I will have had an 8-day luteal phase - one day better than last cycle, but still short. I'm just so pleased it isn't sticking at 7 days or less. I confess I'm hopeful for a pregnancy that sticks, but I TRULY should not get myself so excited about the possibility! Whatever the outcome it's absolutely fine because God knows BEST about what is right for our family and when. I need to keep my mind focused on that instead of charts and test sticks and things! And go to bed now. It's so late, and I'm very tired again today.
I'll update my chart as early as I'm able to, and my blog at some point tomorrow too. Thanks for reading and being excited with me (those who are, that is! There are probably others rolling their eyes and clicking swiftly away to somewhere more sane, haha!)!
Monday, March 1, 2010
Sunday, February 28, 2010
7DPO...
Well here I am again, late evening, to ramble about various things so that they're not all jumbling about in my head for bed time! :)
I'm 7DPO today, and my temperature dropped this morning. It was not much of a drop (not even quite back to the previous day's temp of 36.5), but still a drop, so I was immediately suspicious that my period would show. It hasn't yet, and I'm going to bed in a minute, after I write this. I will just jot down the day's "stuff" as I started to yesterday. I have no idea what to expect really, except that I am leaning more towards getting my period. I wonder if it might turn up tomorrow, with a slight drop in temperature today and then maybe a more significant one in the morning tomorrow before my period arrives? It should probably turn up early on in the day I think, if that's the case (bracing myself, lol!).
Today I have had significantly increased CM again this afternoon (more so than yesterday I think) along with a sort of hot (burny, almost) achy/crampy feel low down in the pit of my abdomen. Like yesterday's mild crampiness (central and low) but more so. We went to Bennie and Sarah's today to see my new nephew, Rasmus, for the first time!! He was born on February 16th (8lbs 3oz), so he's still really teeny tiny and newborn-y!! I was so overcome holding him! Everything in me wanted to fold myself around him protectively and just snuggle him. He's so precious! I adore newborns - seems like the more of my own I have, the more I adore newborns. *sigh* Seeeerious baby fever this afternoon holding Rasmus, hehe! Even with holding my rather screechy and miserable baby-boo who was dealing with teething and stranger anxiety all rolled into one, poor lovey!
Anyway, I felt so sure at one point that my period had started while we were there. I felt "leaky" and so so crampy. I actually excused myself to go to the loo and was SO surprised when I checked and there was no blood.
Today I have more cramping than yesterday, almost constantly and I have felt 100% (literally the 100) SURE my period is coming any minute quite a lot today, especially through the late afternoon and early evening. Right now it's late evening and I am still having low central discomfort and crampiness in general. Have had some soreness inside my right hip, lower down towards the level of my pubic bone and almost into my hip joint/thigh too, but that was more during the morning - so I have charted one-sided pinching cramp or whatever it is on my chart! ;) If that is implantation-ish, then it's surely too late in my luteal phase to stand a chance? I mean, it only started yesterday at 6DPO (within my normal 4-7DPO window for implantation), and my LP might only be 7 or 8 days long :( I have had backache with it most of the day, and some of the more period-like cramping has radiated through the small of my back like real period pain. It hasn't been there all the time though.
I'm noticably more moody today - PMS? Irritable and just moody over nothing in particular - no patience whatsoever with Neil and the boys, but more so with Neil I think, which is now (happily!) unusual for me, so I really noticed it as "different" today. I feel more easily overwhelmed today but it being Sunday means that Neil is around, I have had more time out to rest, so it hasn't been as bad as it could have been I think! Definitely hormonal and moody though, and significantly worse than yesterday.
Very gassy today and rather uncomfortable with it! Bloated too. This is about the 4th day running, I think. Or something like that. Appetite normal. I've had heartburn tonight (as yesterday) both before eating and after. Still feels a bit like a bladder infection with the low central discomfort and cramping (it really isn't cramping as SUCH, but I can't think of a closer word to describe it, to what it really is), but I have no symptoms of a bladder infection otherwise.
I haven't charted headache today but there's been a remnant feel of one hanging around from time to time today. Not actual headache though, I don't think.
EXHAUSTED, unbelievably so. Even mentioned it to Neil as it's so overwhelming today. Very much like yesterday, which I thought was an indication that my period might arrive the next day (usually it's the day before or something like that, with a headache). Feels very much hormonal as opposed to just sleep-related (though I'm very sleep deprived too, this just feels different to the usual tiredness from that) - could easily be my period coming. Or pregnancy I guess.
I have had the same soreness breastfeeding Matthew at bedtime tonight, as last night, and had to stop him in the end. I have charted tender breasts today which I haven't had so far this luteal phase, and which could easily mean either period or pregnancy. They also seem a bit bigger than usual today, though I'm sure it's not to do with my milk supply, and I've had flashing and stabby pains there too here and there through the afternoon.
I wondered in the car coming home from Bennie and Sarah's earlier this evening, whether I should chart "bad cramps" for the crampiness that made me feel SURE my period had started. But now late evening I have had some definite "bad cramps" - really uncomfy and pressurey and hot-crampy. In the past my history is that I only ever have charted bad cramps during my luteal phase on PREGNANCY cycles. Never ever ever on a non-pregnant cycle (including chemical pregnancies though). Hmmm. Even the day before my period is due I don't get bad cramps, but I guess things COULD change so that I do sometimes, and also it might be that my period is literally starting this moment, hence the increase in severity of the cramps? Most of the "bad" cramping is more hot and pressurey and just intense discomfort than actual period crampiness, but it's definitely more than mild cramps! This evening I have had some that have felt very much like period pain radiating through the small of my back as well, but right now I don't have bad cramps as such, just the persistant pressurey/crampy discomfort low down in the pit of my abdomen, right in the centre about the level of my pubic bone. That has been persistant all day long from when I got up.
Well, the only thing to do is to go to bed and see what the morning brings! Desperately hoping I can get sleep at the right time to temp accurately in the morning, with Benjamin's early morning wakings! I'm hoping my period holds off long enough to give me an 8-day luteal phase (thus not arriving till the day after tomorrow), but I will just have to see what the morning's temp will be! There is still no sign of my period tonight, despite all the crampiness, so I am going to go to bed. I'll update tomorrow when I can, hopefully get the temp on my chart first thing when I put Benjamin down for his first nap (often as early as 8am! He's an early-riser!).
I'm 7DPO today, and my temperature dropped this morning. It was not much of a drop (not even quite back to the previous day's temp of 36.5), but still a drop, so I was immediately suspicious that my period would show. It hasn't yet, and I'm going to bed in a minute, after I write this. I will just jot down the day's "stuff" as I started to yesterday. I have no idea what to expect really, except that I am leaning more towards getting my period. I wonder if it might turn up tomorrow, with a slight drop in temperature today and then maybe a more significant one in the morning tomorrow before my period arrives? It should probably turn up early on in the day I think, if that's the case (bracing myself, lol!).
Today I have had significantly increased CM again this afternoon (more so than yesterday I think) along with a sort of hot (burny, almost) achy/crampy feel low down in the pit of my abdomen. Like yesterday's mild crampiness (central and low) but more so. We went to Bennie and Sarah's today to see my new nephew, Rasmus, for the first time!! He was born on February 16th (8lbs 3oz), so he's still really teeny tiny and newborn-y!! I was so overcome holding him! Everything in me wanted to fold myself around him protectively and just snuggle him. He's so precious! I adore newborns - seems like the more of my own I have, the more I adore newborns. *sigh* Seeeerious baby fever this afternoon holding Rasmus, hehe! Even with holding my rather screechy and miserable baby-boo who was dealing with teething and stranger anxiety all rolled into one, poor lovey!
Anyway, I felt so sure at one point that my period had started while we were there. I felt "leaky" and so so crampy. I actually excused myself to go to the loo and was SO surprised when I checked and there was no blood.
Today I have more cramping than yesterday, almost constantly and I have felt 100% (literally the 100) SURE my period is coming any minute quite a lot today, especially through the late afternoon and early evening. Right now it's late evening and I am still having low central discomfort and crampiness in general. Have had some soreness inside my right hip, lower down towards the level of my pubic bone and almost into my hip joint/thigh too, but that was more during the morning - so I have charted one-sided pinching cramp or whatever it is on my chart! ;) If that is implantation-ish, then it's surely too late in my luteal phase to stand a chance? I mean, it only started yesterday at 6DPO (within my normal 4-7DPO window for implantation), and my LP might only be 7 or 8 days long :( I have had backache with it most of the day, and some of the more period-like cramping has radiated through the small of my back like real period pain. It hasn't been there all the time though.
I'm noticably more moody today - PMS? Irritable and just moody over nothing in particular - no patience whatsoever with Neil and the boys, but more so with Neil I think, which is now (happily!) unusual for me, so I really noticed it as "different" today. I feel more easily overwhelmed today but it being Sunday means that Neil is around, I have had more time out to rest, so it hasn't been as bad as it could have been I think! Definitely hormonal and moody though, and significantly worse than yesterday.
Very gassy today and rather uncomfortable with it! Bloated too. This is about the 4th day running, I think. Or something like that. Appetite normal. I've had heartburn tonight (as yesterday) both before eating and after. Still feels a bit like a bladder infection with the low central discomfort and cramping (it really isn't cramping as SUCH, but I can't think of a closer word to describe it, to what it really is), but I have no symptoms of a bladder infection otherwise.
I haven't charted headache today but there's been a remnant feel of one hanging around from time to time today. Not actual headache though, I don't think.
EXHAUSTED, unbelievably so. Even mentioned it to Neil as it's so overwhelming today. Very much like yesterday, which I thought was an indication that my period might arrive the next day (usually it's the day before or something like that, with a headache). Feels very much hormonal as opposed to just sleep-related (though I'm very sleep deprived too, this just feels different to the usual tiredness from that) - could easily be my period coming. Or pregnancy I guess.
I have had the same soreness breastfeeding Matthew at bedtime tonight, as last night, and had to stop him in the end. I have charted tender breasts today which I haven't had so far this luteal phase, and which could easily mean either period or pregnancy. They also seem a bit bigger than usual today, though I'm sure it's not to do with my milk supply, and I've had flashing and stabby pains there too here and there through the afternoon.
I wondered in the car coming home from Bennie and Sarah's earlier this evening, whether I should chart "bad cramps" for the crampiness that made me feel SURE my period had started. But now late evening I have had some definite "bad cramps" - really uncomfy and pressurey and hot-crampy. In the past my history is that I only ever have charted bad cramps during my luteal phase on PREGNANCY cycles. Never ever ever on a non-pregnant cycle (including chemical pregnancies though). Hmmm. Even the day before my period is due I don't get bad cramps, but I guess things COULD change so that I do sometimes, and also it might be that my period is literally starting this moment, hence the increase in severity of the cramps? Most of the "bad" cramping is more hot and pressurey and just intense discomfort than actual period crampiness, but it's definitely more than mild cramps! This evening I have had some that have felt very much like period pain radiating through the small of my back as well, but right now I don't have bad cramps as such, just the persistant pressurey/crampy discomfort low down in the pit of my abdomen, right in the centre about the level of my pubic bone. That has been persistant all day long from when I got up.
Well, the only thing to do is to go to bed and see what the morning brings! Desperately hoping I can get sleep at the right time to temp accurately in the morning, with Benjamin's early morning wakings! I'm hoping my period holds off long enough to give me an 8-day luteal phase (thus not arriving till the day after tomorrow), but I will just have to see what the morning's temp will be! There is still no sign of my period tonight, despite all the crampiness, so I am going to go to bed. I'll update tomorrow when I can, hopefully get the temp on my chart first thing when I put Benjamin down for his first nap (often as early as 8am! He's an early-riser!).
Saturday, February 27, 2010
6DPO update
Just another quick update (hopefully, haha!) at 6DPO. My temperature went up to 36.7 today! :) I have no idea what to expect for tomorrow, as I don't know what my luteal phase is going to do after last cycle.
My period arrived last cycle at only 8DPO (with a temp drop that morning), so I am sort of just holding my breath at the moment and never expecting anything too much when I take my temperature each morning. I think I will be disappointed to see it drop down tomorrow, the next day, or the day after, because I do so want to see my luteal phase lengthening back towards normal.
I have more CM today than the other days since ovulating. Just normal, but more of it. I also have had a headache on and off all day, and I'm so so so tired out. My skin feels funny on my bones, like it's too tired to hang on properly! ;) BUT, I did go into town for a HAIRCUT (*fanfare*) which I do every 4 months. When I do that, it is my one and only opportunity that I get to be out without the little ones, and to actually go shopping! I really enjoy it, but I don't begrudge not getting to do it the rest of the year, any more. I'm satisfied with what I do at home, which is nice! :) I only stay out for a maximum of 3 hours because of Benjamin's feeds. I feed him right before I go and then as soon as I get in. Anyway, I did a lot of walking round the shops today and am (shamefully!) not used to the exercise!! How embarrassing! :S I have decided I need to do regular exercise as a discipline, because I need to be in better shape for pregnancy and birth, especially the more babies I've had and the more babies I am looking after each day! ;) It's wrong of me not to. So I will look into that.
Anyway so I a really tired out and it might have a lot to do with the walking today, OR, combined with a headache and more CM... maybe my period could be about to show tomorrow? I don't know...
I have noticed quite a lot of crampiness today, starting from first thing in the morning when breastfeeding (as in the latter part of yesterday). It has been mildly bothersome on and off throughout the day, and I have had a lot of lower backache too. I woke up with low low backache actually, so I am not sure if the general backache is just down to some weirdness with my pelvis being annoyed after sleeping funny or something?! It's really quite sore, but all down in the bones at the back, across the back - sort of in the small of my back and a little lower, right across. So if it's just that my back is bothered about something, perhaps that accounts for some of the general front-wise crampiness too?
Whilst driving into town I became aware of a strange crampy feeling on one side - on my right side, about an inch or so in from my hip and maybe and inch or two up from my pubic bone. It's sort of like a "pressing" sensation that hurts, I can't really describe it very well. It bothered me again once I was out of the car and walking to the hairdressers, and for a moment I worried that it was my appendix getting ready to cause me trouble or something! I'm on heightened paranoia lately since my brother had a narrow escape with a gangrenous appendix last month! :S Anyway then I didn't really notice it again till a bit later, and then it went away again for a bit. This evening it has been noticable on and off. I do have a bit of IBS at the moment, but I don't get discomfort from that down on the right side. Since mid-afternoon I have become bothersomely crampy right in the pit of my abdomen, almost lower than my pubic bone, and totally central. It's really uncomfortable and actually makes me wonder if perhaps I DO have a bladder infection starting? I am not peeing frequently at all today though, unlike yesterday. I don't have any other symptoms but I'll keep my eye on that.
I have had so few cycles since Arthur was conceived, and many of those few have been pregnancy cycles - either for the actual babies I've gone on to birth, or pregnancies that didn't stick due to my short luteal phase. So I'm starting to forget what a non-pregnant luteal phase feels like enough to compare it effectively. I feel like I'm saying a bunch of silly stuff often, when I'm writing here during my luteal phase. It could all SO easily be the normal stuff I might get before my period arrives, but I don't know what that norm should be any more. I begin to know more what my norm is during a pregnant luteal phase, and then I get to presuming symptoms are pregnancy ones because they are "normal" for me! Which is crazy back-to-front, surely?!?! ;) And not accurate at all! So I guess I will just report all symptoms, have neutral expectations, and see what happens.
Random things to report, then:
I feel really flushed today. I have the usual hot feeling in my eyes and sort of under my skin (hard to explain!) which I am now familiar with pretty much as soon as I've ovulated through my luteal phase. But I have also had a painfully hot flush in my face today as well, which is unusual. I want to note everything even if we haven't conceived, so I have things to compare for future cycles.
At the boys' bedtime tonight I noticed it is sore to breastfeed, which is rare for me. Matthew still nurses at bedtime (yes, he does) and I actually had to stop him because it got too sore. I can't remember the last time that happened. It's not comfy tonight to breastfeed Benjamin either, but not too bad.
I'm a bit irritable today, but not weepy, and it's not too bad. I'm just mainly tiiiired. Headache has gone now though.
Can't think of anything else, and Benjamin is waking so I have to rush off! More soon!
My period arrived last cycle at only 8DPO (with a temp drop that morning), so I am sort of just holding my breath at the moment and never expecting anything too much when I take my temperature each morning. I think I will be disappointed to see it drop down tomorrow, the next day, or the day after, because I do so want to see my luteal phase lengthening back towards normal.
I have more CM today than the other days since ovulating. Just normal, but more of it. I also have had a headache on and off all day, and I'm so so so tired out. My skin feels funny on my bones, like it's too tired to hang on properly! ;) BUT, I did go into town for a HAIRCUT (*fanfare*) which I do every 4 months. When I do that, it is my one and only opportunity that I get to be out without the little ones, and to actually go shopping! I really enjoy it, but I don't begrudge not getting to do it the rest of the year, any more. I'm satisfied with what I do at home, which is nice! :) I only stay out for a maximum of 3 hours because of Benjamin's feeds. I feed him right before I go and then as soon as I get in. Anyway, I did a lot of walking round the shops today and am (shamefully!) not used to the exercise!! How embarrassing! :S I have decided I need to do regular exercise as a discipline, because I need to be in better shape for pregnancy and birth, especially the more babies I've had and the more babies I am looking after each day! ;) It's wrong of me not to. So I will look into that.
Anyway so I a really tired out and it might have a lot to do with the walking today, OR, combined with a headache and more CM... maybe my period could be about to show tomorrow? I don't know...
I have noticed quite a lot of crampiness today, starting from first thing in the morning when breastfeeding (as in the latter part of yesterday). It has been mildly bothersome on and off throughout the day, and I have had a lot of lower backache too. I woke up with low low backache actually, so I am not sure if the general backache is just down to some weirdness with my pelvis being annoyed after sleeping funny or something?! It's really quite sore, but all down in the bones at the back, across the back - sort of in the small of my back and a little lower, right across. So if it's just that my back is bothered about something, perhaps that accounts for some of the general front-wise crampiness too?
Whilst driving into town I became aware of a strange crampy feeling on one side - on my right side, about an inch or so in from my hip and maybe and inch or two up from my pubic bone. It's sort of like a "pressing" sensation that hurts, I can't really describe it very well. It bothered me again once I was out of the car and walking to the hairdressers, and for a moment I worried that it was my appendix getting ready to cause me trouble or something! I'm on heightened paranoia lately since my brother had a narrow escape with a gangrenous appendix last month! :S Anyway then I didn't really notice it again till a bit later, and then it went away again for a bit. This evening it has been noticable on and off. I do have a bit of IBS at the moment, but I don't get discomfort from that down on the right side. Since mid-afternoon I have become bothersomely crampy right in the pit of my abdomen, almost lower than my pubic bone, and totally central. It's really uncomfortable and actually makes me wonder if perhaps I DO have a bladder infection starting? I am not peeing frequently at all today though, unlike yesterday. I don't have any other symptoms but I'll keep my eye on that.
I have had so few cycles since Arthur was conceived, and many of those few have been pregnancy cycles - either for the actual babies I've gone on to birth, or pregnancies that didn't stick due to my short luteal phase. So I'm starting to forget what a non-pregnant luteal phase feels like enough to compare it effectively. I feel like I'm saying a bunch of silly stuff often, when I'm writing here during my luteal phase. It could all SO easily be the normal stuff I might get before my period arrives, but I don't know what that norm should be any more. I begin to know more what my norm is during a pregnant luteal phase, and then I get to presuming symptoms are pregnancy ones because they are "normal" for me! Which is crazy back-to-front, surely?!?! ;) And not accurate at all! So I guess I will just report all symptoms, have neutral expectations, and see what happens.
Random things to report, then:
I feel really flushed today. I have the usual hot feeling in my eyes and sort of under my skin (hard to explain!) which I am now familiar with pretty much as soon as I've ovulated through my luteal phase. But I have also had a painfully hot flush in my face today as well, which is unusual. I want to note everything even if we haven't conceived, so I have things to compare for future cycles.
At the boys' bedtime tonight I noticed it is sore to breastfeed, which is rare for me. Matthew still nurses at bedtime (yes, he does) and I actually had to stop him because it got too sore. I can't remember the last time that happened. It's not comfy tonight to breastfeed Benjamin either, but not too bad.
I'm a bit irritable today, but not weepy, and it's not too bad. I'm just mainly tiiiired. Headache has gone now though.
Can't think of anything else, and Benjamin is waking so I have to rush off! More soon!
Friday, February 26, 2010
Watching and waiting :)
[SCROLL DOWN TO END OF ENTRY - NEVER MIND WHAT I WROTE FOR THE REST OF THIS ENTRY! Haha!]
QUICK update - must be quick! It's late and I should be sleeping already!
So I went on to have two days (today and yesterday) of higher temps! :) So I DID ovulate after all! They are both the same - 36.5, and when I entered today's temp, Fertility Friend switched my ovulation date from CD17 to CD19 (when I THOUGHT I would more likely have ovulated, ha!). So I'm pleased about that! I just wasn't happy with the previous date, as I just felt I hadn't ovulated then.
Today then, I am 3DPO. My coverline on my chart is quite high, because of the higher-than-usual temps before ovulation occurred, but that doesn't make any difference to anything. It just makes my current temps look lower than usual because they're so low down and close to the line.
I have had spots (the odd few - definitely hormonally influenced, for me) since ovulating, just like last cycle. Nothing else until this afternoon. I KNOW, I'm only 3DPO! But I wanted to make note of cramping whilst breastfeeding for the last two feeds of the day. No discomfort or cramping of any sort since ovulation, and none else today except for when breastfeeding. Not bad cramps, but definitely noticable.
I am having to wee frequently today, and that is just odd and I have no explanation. Even if I was pregnant it would be waaay too early for frequent urination at 3DPO! Even at 5DPO!! So that's odd. I guess I'm wondering about an infection, but I have no symptoms. I had to get up in the early hours to go for a wee, and I haven't had to do that since my last pregnancy. I have not been going all day like a crazy woman or anything, but a definite increased frequency for me anyway. Fluid intake same as always, though I am feeling very thirsty today.
What was the other thing??!! Aaaah! Oh yes! An hour or so ago I was sitting reading blogs when suddenly I had a taste in my mouth of a strong-flavoured food that I could not put my finger on. It made me want some, but I couldn't figure out what the taste was! So weird to have that out of the blue. I KNOW, I KNOW! ;) I'm only 3DPO. But it's "of note" so here it is. I think I have narrowed it down to bean shoots in a tangy sauce, or celeriac in a sort of mayo sauce. I'm pretty sure it's celeriac. Actually celeriac was my only (fairly short-lived) craving with Benjamin, now I think of it! Anyway it felt like a taste I hadn't experienced in a LONG time and I really wanted whatever it was. It was clear as anything in my mouth at that moment. I have had that same thing happen as early as my luteal phase with my other pregnancies (with Matthew it was mushrooms, before it was time to take a pregnancy test, and it was one of the things that made me wonder...). Anyway, strange observation, and CRAZY observation this early, but there it is. Randomness! ;)
I otherwise feel either nothing (physically) or just completely neutral (emotionally) about the possibility of pregnancy this cycle. I know there is a good chance. Fertility Friend says the chance is "good" (not that it matters a jot what they say, as my experience goes, haha!). I can see that the chance is good. Parsnips was 2 days before ovulation, and two of my babies are the result of 4-days-before-ovulation parsnips. Last cycle I feel sure that conception took place and my luteal phase meant that implantation could not complete (though it started). I only had a 7-day luteal phase, so this cycle probably does not have the likelihood of a long enough luteal phase to support any pregnancy that might be starting. I know that God is good and the timing of another baby will be exactly right - the right baby for our family at the right time. I am happy to trust Him and wait. But I guess I don't hold my breath quite so much with excitement knowing that it likely can't continue even if it's really true and it starts. I WANT to be excited at the possibility!!! I sort of am, but then I quickly think about the luteal phase thing. I guess I'm expecting and hoping for an 8 or 9 day luteal phase this cycle, which really isn't long enough, unless I suppose if I were to experience implantation TODAY, but even so I don't know if it would be long enough.
If it WERE and I WAS, I would be due mid-November - six days after Arthur's sixth birthday! I have to say, last cycle when I knew I was pregnant, I saw the predicted due date at FF (Oct 20th) and thought, based on that alone I just didn't see it sticking, because (I know this is crazy!) all of my babies are born within a 5 day window (9th - 14th of the month), and are due from the 5th to the 10th of the month. So looking at the 20th, I just thought, "Nah! Surely not!" ;) But I like that my cycles are drawing back earlier in the month, because this cycle would result in the 15th as a due date!
Well, that's all the random flotsam I have for tonight. Just wanted to update that FF changed my ovulation date today, and that I HAVE ovulated! And have felt a bit crampy (am now, actually) and am peeing weirdly, and oh also I have felt quite irritable today and yesterday. Yesterday I felt kind of hormonally weepy too, so I put the irritability down to that too, although the weepy thing is less today. I have heartburn tonight which I never get, and for no particular diet-related reason either. Otherwise, early days, and nowt to report yet! I could have written just this paragraph, posted all the information I needed to, and saved myself (and you!) a lot of time! ;)
Back soon! Thanks for following along with such enthusiasm! :) xxx
[ETA!]
D'oh!!! I just looked at my chart and it seems like I have got my days mixed up or something. Today is FRIDAY, and I have nothing on my chart for Friday yet! This morning's temp I have put in on Thursday, and the days before *I think* are accurate in their order. I forget to update my chart several days running usually (esp. before ovulation) and then come along and put in the last several days worth from memory (not wise, but I do still remember a few days in a row, just then I have no record of accuracy a week later because I have forgotten and only have my chart for reference!). So maybe I started temping (a week-ish before ovulation) and entered the first one WRONGLY on the wrong day, and went from there. D'oh! I can't think what else I will have done, unless I forgot a temp somewhere and so it looks like I'm a day behind. But I can't remember that now, and if I stick another one in there somewhere to keep me at 3DPO then it won't be accurate. If I shift the whole lot of temps one day forward (probably what I should do) then it will put my ovulation down for CD20 instead (parsnips 3 days before).
Okay, NOW I have been back to FF and shifted all the temps forward starting from CD11, so that they now start at CD12. I'm pretty sure that's when I entered the temp on the wrong day. The order of the rest are correct, I'm sure of it now. So, to my surprise, an even BETTER (more accurate, to my gut instinct) ovulation date is up! ;) CD18, the last day of EWCM (also the 2nd day of mild cramping - no further potential ovulation signs the next day), and parsnips the day before. I am now 5DPO according to that one, and the coverline is nice and normal looking again, and the temps look right to me, or better anyway. I'm still not 100% sure about the ovulation date and the post-ovulation temps, but it's all a bit confusing this cycle after all these changes with my chart! Tsk! ;) So there we are. Soooo, maybe cramping and slight weirdnesses today (except the way-too-early weeing) ISN'T so strange after all??...
QUICK update - must be quick! It's late and I should be sleeping already!
So I went on to have two days (today and yesterday) of higher temps! :) So I DID ovulate after all! They are both the same - 36.5, and when I entered today's temp, Fertility Friend switched my ovulation date from CD17 to CD19 (when I THOUGHT I would more likely have ovulated, ha!). So I'm pleased about that! I just wasn't happy with the previous date, as I just felt I hadn't ovulated then.
Today then, I am 3DPO. My coverline on my chart is quite high, because of the higher-than-usual temps before ovulation occurred, but that doesn't make any difference to anything. It just makes my current temps look lower than usual because they're so low down and close to the line.
I have had spots (the odd few - definitely hormonally influenced, for me) since ovulating, just like last cycle. Nothing else until this afternoon. I KNOW, I'm only 3DPO! But I wanted to make note of cramping whilst breastfeeding for the last two feeds of the day. No discomfort or cramping of any sort since ovulation, and none else today except for when breastfeeding. Not bad cramps, but definitely noticable.
I am having to wee frequently today, and that is just odd and I have no explanation. Even if I was pregnant it would be waaay too early for frequent urination at 3DPO! Even at 5DPO!! So that's odd. I guess I'm wondering about an infection, but I have no symptoms. I had to get up in the early hours to go for a wee, and I haven't had to do that since my last pregnancy. I have not been going all day like a crazy woman or anything, but a definite increased frequency for me anyway. Fluid intake same as always, though I am feeling very thirsty today.
What was the other thing??!! Aaaah! Oh yes! An hour or so ago I was sitting reading blogs when suddenly I had a taste in my mouth of a strong-flavoured food that I could not put my finger on. It made me want some, but I couldn't figure out what the taste was! So weird to have that out of the blue. I KNOW, I KNOW! ;) I'm only 3DPO. But it's "of note" so here it is. I think I have narrowed it down to bean shoots in a tangy sauce, or celeriac in a sort of mayo sauce. I'm pretty sure it's celeriac. Actually celeriac was my only (fairly short-lived) craving with Benjamin, now I think of it! Anyway it felt like a taste I hadn't experienced in a LONG time and I really wanted whatever it was. It was clear as anything in my mouth at that moment. I have had that same thing happen as early as my luteal phase with my other pregnancies (with Matthew it was mushrooms, before it was time to take a pregnancy test, and it was one of the things that made me wonder...). Anyway, strange observation, and CRAZY observation this early, but there it is. Randomness! ;)
I otherwise feel either nothing (physically) or just completely neutral (emotionally) about the possibility of pregnancy this cycle. I know there is a good chance. Fertility Friend says the chance is "good" (not that it matters a jot what they say, as my experience goes, haha!). I can see that the chance is good. Parsnips was 2 days before ovulation, and two of my babies are the result of 4-days-before-ovulation parsnips. Last cycle I feel sure that conception took place and my luteal phase meant that implantation could not complete (though it started). I only had a 7-day luteal phase, so this cycle probably does not have the likelihood of a long enough luteal phase to support any pregnancy that might be starting. I know that God is good and the timing of another baby will be exactly right - the right baby for our family at the right time. I am happy to trust Him and wait. But I guess I don't hold my breath quite so much with excitement knowing that it likely can't continue even if it's really true and it starts. I WANT to be excited at the possibility!!! I sort of am, but then I quickly think about the luteal phase thing. I guess I'm expecting and hoping for an 8 or 9 day luteal phase this cycle, which really isn't long enough, unless I suppose if I were to experience implantation TODAY, but even so I don't know if it would be long enough.
If it WERE and I WAS, I would be due mid-November - six days after Arthur's sixth birthday! I have to say, last cycle when I knew I was pregnant, I saw the predicted due date at FF (Oct 20th) and thought, based on that alone I just didn't see it sticking, because (I know this is crazy!) all of my babies are born within a 5 day window (9th - 14th of the month), and are due from the 5th to the 10th of the month. So looking at the 20th, I just thought, "Nah! Surely not!" ;) But I like that my cycles are drawing back earlier in the month, because this cycle would result in the 15th as a due date!
Well, that's all the random flotsam I have for tonight. Just wanted to update that FF changed my ovulation date today, and that I HAVE ovulated! And have felt a bit crampy (am now, actually) and am peeing weirdly, and oh also I have felt quite irritable today and yesterday. Yesterday I felt kind of hormonally weepy too, so I put the irritability down to that too, although the weepy thing is less today. I have heartburn tonight which I never get, and for no particular diet-related reason either. Otherwise, early days, and nowt to report yet! I could have written just this paragraph, posted all the information I needed to, and saved myself (and you!) a lot of time! ;)
Back soon! Thanks for following along with such enthusiasm! :) xxx
[ETA!]
D'oh!!! I just looked at my chart and it seems like I have got my days mixed up or something. Today is FRIDAY, and I have nothing on my chart for Friday yet! This morning's temp I have put in on Thursday, and the days before *I think* are accurate in their order. I forget to update my chart several days running usually (esp. before ovulation) and then come along and put in the last several days worth from memory (not wise, but I do still remember a few days in a row, just then I have no record of accuracy a week later because I have forgotten and only have my chart for reference!). So maybe I started temping (a week-ish before ovulation) and entered the first one WRONGLY on the wrong day, and went from there. D'oh! I can't think what else I will have done, unless I forgot a temp somewhere and so it looks like I'm a day behind. But I can't remember that now, and if I stick another one in there somewhere to keep me at 3DPO then it won't be accurate. If I shift the whole lot of temps one day forward (probably what I should do) then it will put my ovulation down for CD20 instead (parsnips 3 days before).
Okay, NOW I have been back to FF and shifted all the temps forward starting from CD11, so that they now start at CD12. I'm pretty sure that's when I entered the temp on the wrong day. The order of the rest are correct, I'm sure of it now. So, to my surprise, an even BETTER (more accurate, to my gut instinct) ovulation date is up! ;) CD18, the last day of EWCM (also the 2nd day of mild cramping - no further potential ovulation signs the next day), and parsnips the day before. I am now 5DPO according to that one, and the coverline is nice and normal looking again, and the temps look right to me, or better anyway. I'm still not 100% sure about the ovulation date and the post-ovulation temps, but it's all a bit confusing this cycle after all these changes with my chart! Tsk! ;) So there we are. Soooo, maybe cramping and slight weirdnesses today (except the way-too-early weeing) ISN'T so strange after all??...
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Mid-cycle-ish
Ah Melanie, I love your little reminders! ;)
So I am on Cycle Day 20 today (already! Seems like only last week that I wrote the last post!). In case you happen to be like Melanie and stalk my chart (hehe!), I wanted to update about it today. I'm in a bit of confusion as to whether I have ovulated or not, which is frustrating, but not too relevant I suppose in the grand scheme of things! ;)
I started getting EWCM this cycle on CD14, earlier than my other cycles, and I was kind of pleased because it gave me a good possibility of ovulating earlier in my cycle this time. Usually I ovulate quite late in my cycle, when I have had a baby in the past year and am breastfeeding, and then my luteal phase is short, and it pretty much evens out (weirdly?! Amazingly?!) to about a 28-30 day cycle, give or take a couple of days! :) Funny! So like I might not ovulate till as late as CD24 but then only have a 5 day luteal phase and so have a 29 day cycle!
Anyway, I know it's possible to have a very definite fertile patch for a good number of days and then still not ovulate after it, so I didn't presume, but I hoped! I like it when things get back towards "normal" in my body, so it's nice when I ovulate gradually earlier each cycle and my luteal phase lengthens.
So I had 5 days of EWCM (good/normal for me). I didn't particularly have ovulation pain this cycle (sometimes I don't, but often I do), but I was mildly crampy the last two of those EWCM days. My pre-ovulatory temperatures have been higher than usual for me - still within my norm for pre-ovulatory temps, but only just. Usually my pre-ovulatory temps are 36.0 or below, but the normal range for me before ovulating is between 35.6 and 36.2. I almost never see temps outside that range before ovulation. AFTER ovulation, my range is 36.3/4 and above. I pretty much only hit 37.0 when pregnant, though 36.9 is common when not (such a fine line, haha! Oh the detail! ;) ). Now, 36.3 is an in-betweeny temp. On occasion (rare) it's a pre-ovulatory temp. Most of the time it's a post-ovulatory temp. It's a "maybe" temp, and I just have to wait till the next day for confirmation of which one it was, usually!
My confusion this cycle is about temps. Before (possibly!) ovulating, I had the usual below-36.0 temps, but they were quite rocky for me this cycle, and I had two up as high as 36.1, and then down again, and then up the next day (yesterday) at 36.2. Then this morning's temp was 36.3 - my "who knows!" temp! ;) So I will have to wait till tomorrow to see whether it is a post-ovulatory temp or just part of some really rocky PRE-ovulatory temps. I have had no EWCM today and yesterday, so I would have expected a temp shift upwards by now if I ovulated yesterday at the latest. Maybe 36.3 IS that temp shift? But it's pretty small from 36.2!
Anyway, when I entered all this on the chart tonight, it immediately showed me as 3 days past ovulation (ovulation occurring on the 4th day of EWCM - hmmm, possible, definitely, but I'm not sure...). That also happens to be a parsnips day, so if I did ovulate, then YAY! Another watch-and-wait cycle! I love those so much! :)
I said to Neil tonight that I was confused about my chart and I am not convinced I have ovulated yet, even though it says that I have. I think maybe I'll get a 36.2 or something lower tomorrow and FF will remove my crosshairs and tell me I haven't ovulated after all. And if I HAVEN'T, and it's been 3 days since any fertile signs, then that EWCM didn't come to anything and I suspect my body will take a week-ish before trying again, so a very late ovulation in the end probably.
He thought at first that I was telling him I was fertile NOW, and before he realised that wasn't the case, he said we should definitely act on it! I love that this man who was really iffy about having more than 2 children, is now the father of 4 children under 6 and even though he just interrupted his evening to go upstairs and rock the littlest (who is only 7 months old!) back to sleep, he is still eager to take the opportunity for more! I can't even begin to tell you the joy in my heart that threatens to burst out of me when I hear him say things like that, or when I reconsider his words over and over (and over!) later on! :) If you've been reading me here since I DID just have two children and a husband who was really iffy about having any more, then you'll know just how wonderful this change is to me! :D
Anyway, I will be updating again soon now that I'm at this stage of my cycle, but I just wanted to post for my lurker (hehe!) to know that although my chart says I'm 3DPO with parsnips on the day of ovulation (wheee!), don't get too excited about that because it might not be the case, and my chart might look quite different tomorrow after I put my temp in! We'll just see what it is tomorrow morning. I do have that slightly warmer feel in my eyes and under my skin (hard to explain!) that I get in my luteal phase (pregnant or not), but who knows, maybe the heating is on higher than usual or something! ;) One way or the other I will know in the morning. Unless it's 36.3 again, haha! In which case, I would absolutely have no idea which side of ovulation I am, until I get a different temp in either direction!
So, back soon! Thanks for watching me! That really warmed my heart! xxx
So I am on Cycle Day 20 today (already! Seems like only last week that I wrote the last post!). In case you happen to be like Melanie and stalk my chart (hehe!), I wanted to update about it today. I'm in a bit of confusion as to whether I have ovulated or not, which is frustrating, but not too relevant I suppose in the grand scheme of things! ;)
I started getting EWCM this cycle on CD14, earlier than my other cycles, and I was kind of pleased because it gave me a good possibility of ovulating earlier in my cycle this time. Usually I ovulate quite late in my cycle, when I have had a baby in the past year and am breastfeeding, and then my luteal phase is short, and it pretty much evens out (weirdly?! Amazingly?!) to about a 28-30 day cycle, give or take a couple of days! :) Funny! So like I might not ovulate till as late as CD24 but then only have a 5 day luteal phase and so have a 29 day cycle!
Anyway, I know it's possible to have a very definite fertile patch for a good number of days and then still not ovulate after it, so I didn't presume, but I hoped! I like it when things get back towards "normal" in my body, so it's nice when I ovulate gradually earlier each cycle and my luteal phase lengthens.
So I had 5 days of EWCM (good/normal for me). I didn't particularly have ovulation pain this cycle (sometimes I don't, but often I do), but I was mildly crampy the last two of those EWCM days. My pre-ovulatory temperatures have been higher than usual for me - still within my norm for pre-ovulatory temps, but only just. Usually my pre-ovulatory temps are 36.0 or below, but the normal range for me before ovulating is between 35.6 and 36.2. I almost never see temps outside that range before ovulation. AFTER ovulation, my range is 36.3/4 and above. I pretty much only hit 37.0 when pregnant, though 36.9 is common when not (such a fine line, haha! Oh the detail! ;) ). Now, 36.3 is an in-betweeny temp. On occasion (rare) it's a pre-ovulatory temp. Most of the time it's a post-ovulatory temp. It's a "maybe" temp, and I just have to wait till the next day for confirmation of which one it was, usually!
My confusion this cycle is about temps. Before (possibly!) ovulating, I had the usual below-36.0 temps, but they were quite rocky for me this cycle, and I had two up as high as 36.1, and then down again, and then up the next day (yesterday) at 36.2. Then this morning's temp was 36.3 - my "who knows!" temp! ;) So I will have to wait till tomorrow to see whether it is a post-ovulatory temp or just part of some really rocky PRE-ovulatory temps. I have had no EWCM today and yesterday, so I would have expected a temp shift upwards by now if I ovulated yesterday at the latest. Maybe 36.3 IS that temp shift? But it's pretty small from 36.2!
Anyway, when I entered all this on the chart tonight, it immediately showed me as 3 days past ovulation (ovulation occurring on the 4th day of EWCM - hmmm, possible, definitely, but I'm not sure...). That also happens to be a parsnips day, so if I did ovulate, then YAY! Another watch-and-wait cycle! I love those so much! :)
I said to Neil tonight that I was confused about my chart and I am not convinced I have ovulated yet, even though it says that I have. I think maybe I'll get a 36.2 or something lower tomorrow and FF will remove my crosshairs and tell me I haven't ovulated after all. And if I HAVEN'T, and it's been 3 days since any fertile signs, then that EWCM didn't come to anything and I suspect my body will take a week-ish before trying again, so a very late ovulation in the end probably.
He thought at first that I was telling him I was fertile NOW, and before he realised that wasn't the case, he said we should definitely act on it! I love that this man who was really iffy about having more than 2 children, is now the father of 4 children under 6 and even though he just interrupted his evening to go upstairs and rock the littlest (who is only 7 months old!) back to sleep, he is still eager to take the opportunity for more! I can't even begin to tell you the joy in my heart that threatens to burst out of me when I hear him say things like that, or when I reconsider his words over and over (and over!) later on! :) If you've been reading me here since I DID just have two children and a husband who was really iffy about having any more, then you'll know just how wonderful this change is to me! :D
Anyway, I will be updating again soon now that I'm at this stage of my cycle, but I just wanted to post for my lurker (hehe!) to know that although my chart says I'm 3DPO with parsnips on the day of ovulation (wheee!), don't get too excited about that because it might not be the case, and my chart might look quite different tomorrow after I put my temp in! We'll just see what it is tomorrow morning. I do have that slightly warmer feel in my eyes and under my skin (hard to explain!) that I get in my luteal phase (pregnant or not), but who knows, maybe the heating is on higher than usual or something! ;) One way or the other I will know in the morning. Unless it's 36.3 again, haha! In which case, I would absolutely have no idea which side of ovulation I am, until I get a different temp in either direction!
So, back soon! Thanks for watching me! That really warmed my heart! xxx
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Ah well!
Well, my temperature dropped this morning, to 36.4. Still a post-ovulatory temp for me, but a significant drop, so I knew that was the end of that really. I still felt pretty nauseous from waking again this morning, and am a bit queasy still now, but I got some different cramps that started at about 11am (sort of I-mean-business cramps, lol!) and started my period about 5 minutes later.
So today I am just not setting myself any goals, as I don't know what to expect from this period. It has only been an hour or so. So far I am really sore and not feeling nice, and I'm dizzier than usual with periods, but then periods AREN'T that nice in any case! ;)
I do still feel that conception definitely took place and implantation definitely got started. I started to second-guess myself this morning after my temp dropped, but after thinking about it, even though it does just look like I didn't conceive and just had a usual but short luteal phase with some wacky hormones, I really really really do know my body by now and am more than certain I was at the beginning of a pregnancy. I'm glad I said a sort of hello-and-goodbye two nights ago as I lay in bed, with my hand over my pubic bone, just thinking of what probably wasn't to be. I was not about to write about it here at the time! I don't think I have ever done that before, but I sort of felt like I was really sure a little somebody was there, and yet I also felt fairly sure that I would only have a few days, so I tried to keep that in mind and cherish them! And I did! :) That felt nice, and different to previous chemical pregnancies. Of course I have no actual evidence that I had a chemical pregnancy, because I didn't even get far enough in my LP to test! Feels a bit daft if I look at it like that! But I think I will count it as one in my head, only because of the absoluteness of the symptoms, chart, and familiarity with such things after so many in just a few years. I think if parsnips happen to fall in the fertile window next time (and let's face it, the likelihood is high, because we don't try to avoid it, and partake way more when my hormones dictate! I only chart the fertile-window parsnips), then I may well be looking at another chemical pregnancy if we conceive, because this past cycle I have had a 7 day luteal phase - NOT very long at all. It really needs to get to 10 before I actually get to sustaining a pregnancy, and the increase in number of days is very slow for me, usually one or maybe two per cycle.
I am not so eager for another baby that I want one at all costs!! I have a 6-month-old baby! Not to mention three other small children! And I love enjoying them without morning sickness, and knowing I have plenty of milk for my baby for a while to come, without pregnancy hormones drying it up! I am eager for another baby/pregnancy as part of being eager for God's blessings and His plan to unfold - that's sooooo exciting!!! And I love being pregnant and having babies! But I wouldn't mind the next few months without at all. I am just not feeling toooo crazy about likely getting pregnant again and being so so so sure again like this past cycle, and having all the symptoms, and then knowing that I'm pretty much waiting for a period because it won't/can't work with my LP too short. It's probably daft of me attaching myself to the idea of a baby in the FIRST WEEK after ovulation! But if a baby attaches itself to ME during that window, and I know about it, I can't help myself. After my little hello-and-goodbye chat the other night, I did then pray that God would somehow lengthen my luteal phase enough for the little one to stay - I knew it was risky actually laying my hand there and talking to that little ball of cells! ;) But more than that I wanted what God's plan was for me, for my family, for the children he has already pre-destined, and so that's what I eventually ended up praying. I do feel at peace about it, and I'm excited to one day meet extra children when I get to heaven! But I feel a little bit deflated at the idea of the same thing again next cycle, possibly. God's plan, God's plan. Gotta keep my eyes on GOD'S plan. Then all I have is praise :)
I will be back in a few weeks! ;)
So today I am just not setting myself any goals, as I don't know what to expect from this period. It has only been an hour or so. So far I am really sore and not feeling nice, and I'm dizzier than usual with periods, but then periods AREN'T that nice in any case! ;)
I do still feel that conception definitely took place and implantation definitely got started. I started to second-guess myself this morning after my temp dropped, but after thinking about it, even though it does just look like I didn't conceive and just had a usual but short luteal phase with some wacky hormones, I really really really do know my body by now and am more than certain I was at the beginning of a pregnancy. I'm glad I said a sort of hello-and-goodbye two nights ago as I lay in bed, with my hand over my pubic bone, just thinking of what probably wasn't to be. I was not about to write about it here at the time! I don't think I have ever done that before, but I sort of felt like I was really sure a little somebody was there, and yet I also felt fairly sure that I would only have a few days, so I tried to keep that in mind and cherish them! And I did! :) That felt nice, and different to previous chemical pregnancies. Of course I have no actual evidence that I had a chemical pregnancy, because I didn't even get far enough in my LP to test! Feels a bit daft if I look at it like that! But I think I will count it as one in my head, only because of the absoluteness of the symptoms, chart, and familiarity with such things after so many in just a few years. I think if parsnips happen to fall in the fertile window next time (and let's face it, the likelihood is high, because we don't try to avoid it, and partake way more when my hormones dictate! I only chart the fertile-window parsnips), then I may well be looking at another chemical pregnancy if we conceive, because this past cycle I have had a 7 day luteal phase - NOT very long at all. It really needs to get to 10 before I actually get to sustaining a pregnancy, and the increase in number of days is very slow for me, usually one or maybe two per cycle.
I am not so eager for another baby that I want one at all costs!! I have a 6-month-old baby! Not to mention three other small children! And I love enjoying them without morning sickness, and knowing I have plenty of milk for my baby for a while to come, without pregnancy hormones drying it up! I am eager for another baby/pregnancy as part of being eager for God's blessings and His plan to unfold - that's sooooo exciting!!! And I love being pregnant and having babies! But I wouldn't mind the next few months without at all. I am just not feeling toooo crazy about likely getting pregnant again and being so so so sure again like this past cycle, and having all the symptoms, and then knowing that I'm pretty much waiting for a period because it won't/can't work with my LP too short. It's probably daft of me attaching myself to the idea of a baby in the FIRST WEEK after ovulation! But if a baby attaches itself to ME during that window, and I know about it, I can't help myself. After my little hello-and-goodbye chat the other night, I did then pray that God would somehow lengthen my luteal phase enough for the little one to stay - I knew it was risky actually laying my hand there and talking to that little ball of cells! ;) But more than that I wanted what God's plan was for me, for my family, for the children he has already pre-destined, and so that's what I eventually ended up praying. I do feel at peace about it, and I'm excited to one day meet extra children when I get to heaven! But I feel a little bit deflated at the idea of the same thing again next cycle, possibly. God's plan, God's plan. Gotta keep my eyes on GOD'S plan. Then all I have is praise :)
I will be back in a few weeks! ;)
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
7DPO ramblings...
Did you see my temp this morning?! I was sort of expecting a drop, but nope! I had the same temperature as yesterday (flat temps, both before and after the "implantation dip"!! Hmmm!) so if I have another tomorrow like today's my chart will officially be triphasic, even though I'll only be 8DPO. Also, that in itself is exciting to me - EIGHT days past ovulation! I didn't know my LP would be this long yet - well, I wondered after last cycle, but I had no way of knowing.
Today has been a weird day. I can't even remember half of it. The main thing apart from the continuous (and sometimes really bothersome) queasiness has been the utter and complete exhaustion. Yesterday evening's entry mentioned me being "washed out" and exhausted, but now I'm at THIS evening, I see that I was practically skipping through fields of poppies last night compared with today. I feel absolutely grey with exhaustion, for no real reason. That could well be a sign that tomorrow I will get my period. Or, you know, a pregnancy symptom. I still maintain that I am absolutely 100% definitely pregnant at this moment in time. I feel pregnant. I have so many very familiar signs and symptoms, not just a little bit but all up in my face! ;) I have flat temps, an implantation dip in my typical window (between 4 and 7dpo) with associated CLEAR symptoms (for me) of implantation on the same day as the dip, and if my luteal phase does carry on until tomorrow, possibly a triphasic chart.
Today I have a definite increase in my sense of smell. My body is hungry before meals are due but my appetite is affected by this yucky queasy tummy. I am still really gassy but more up in my stomach now. The lemon soap in the bathroom is turning my stomach now that my nose is suddenly more sensitive. I had to put that same soap away last pregnancy (we had a pack of 4 and are just now using them up!). And right now I am eating an Oreo and can smell stale cigarettes from the taste in my mouth. Weirdness. Today I have an evvver so slightly sore/scratchy throat, with no possible exposure to any colds. I had forgotten about that one from my two-week-wait in Matthew's pregnancy! And Nathan's too, I think. I don't think I had that last pregnancy with Benjamin. I have had some bad cramps today. They have been a bit more "squeezy" or vice-like in nature, and are central and right down low in the pit of my abdomen. I have been convinced sooo many times today that my period has arrived, and have been to check several times, only to find absolutely nothing. The cramps have been rather on-and-off (also suspicious of pregnancy, never mind the whole thing about how I never have bad cramps during a luteal phase unless I'm pregnant!). The vice-like cramps in the centre have made me feel a bit sicky when they occur. They feel very familiar to me from previous pregnancies, but they're also so similar to period cramps that it's hard to be sure they're not to do with a period on the way (though I never cramp badly before a period starts, but anyway!).
Soooo what else? Just tired. So tired! Today for some crazy reason I decided to start potty training Matthew, and it has not been an easy day! ;) I have felt suddenly weepy at children's TV (another norm for me in early pregnancy, but probably could happen before a period too), and also definitely more irritable than usual today, but that could be a knock-on effect from the tiredness. This is day two of slightly tender breasts. Nursing is not sore though. I am not 100% sure that my milk supply is the same as it was a week ago. I usually know which breast I didn't feed with last because it's fuller when I check as I go to feed Benjamin, but today after a few hours there was no fullness really in either :S I am getting behind on my Through the Bible in 90 Days challenge because I am too tired for my eyes to read the words. I do read, and I am getting it read, but with a goal of about 15 chapters per day, I am just not able to do it when I feel this exhausted. My eyes start rolling around in my head spontaneously after about 3 chapters, haha! ;)
I am getting some pully-stretchy pains inside my hips on both sides, just short sensations here and there throughout the day. I also had a certain "bubbly" feeling that I wrote about with Arthur and Matthew's pregnancies during my LPs too, I think. Today and yesterday I have had what I now think are mini ligament pains, inside my hips. They occur both randomly and when I do things like getting up from my bed and twisting to pick Benjamin up from the bed as I'm almost upright. Then I get a quick flash of a twingey pain inside a hip. I know that is pregnant of me. I don't have lots of incidences, but those that have occurred have been just today and yesterday.
Okay I think that is all for today. Still SURE I am pregnant, but expecting to have a chemical pregnancy and a period eventually, because - maybe I shouldn't think this way? - that's the way I seem to do things. I am starting to wish it didn't have to be so inevitable and I could enjoy and be excited about some of these obvious pregnancy signs as they are occurring, but really I am just waiting for it all to end one way or another. Trying not to get attached to the idea of a little one starting to take root, which is really becoming difficult due to the fairly obvious signs that a little one IS taking root. All the more reason I should just cherish however few days I have attached to the new beginnings of a person, and celebrate the fact that it would be another child to meet one day in eternity. That is pretty special (I already have five!!) and it helps a lot to think of it that way. But I probably just should not even think about tiny bundles of furiously dividing cells burrowing into me in a determined manner! I LOVE to think of such things, but I probably shouldn't this time :(
On the other hand, somewhere around noon today I felt like something was a little different than in the morning. I wondered if my hormones were changing with my short LP kicking in, and my body therefore starting to shed the whole pregnancy thing and get busy preparing for a period. I haven't felt so hot inside through the afternoon as I have for the past few days. My feet are really cold tonight! I had a headache in the afternoon that was yucky and persistant and I immediately thought that it must obviously be the pre-period headache that I often get in the 12 or so hours before a period turns up (to do with hormones dropping or something). I took painkillers in the end and actually it cleared right up, which my pre-period headaches usually don't do (nothing touches them normally), so I don't know.
Today I have swung back and forth from feeling like I am absolutely definitely 100% pregnant and maybe it could really pan out! To feeling like I am absolutely definitely 100% about to get my period at any moment! ;)
But it's almost time for me to go to bed (early for me, but sooooooo tired) and no sign of my period yet. Tomorrow I am 8DPO, and it all hinges on what my temperature is in the morning, I think. I'm almost nervous (nervous-excitement, that is) about taking it, I'm so eager to find out one way or the other what my body is doing! If it drops and I get my period I will have had a 7 day luteal phase, which is not bad for my 3rd cycle at only 6 months postpartum! If it does not drop then we'll see. Even if my chart continues to be a pretty clear pregnancy chart, on any given day it could all suddenly cut off - that's how most of my chemical pregnancies have ended, and later than this too. It's too early to test still, which is somewhat driving me just a tiny bit crazy, but I have already considered testing at 8DPO, even being crazily early for any sort of accurate result. I have expired tests to use up, and who knows if I would just get a temp drop at 9DPO anyway, so it would be exciting to have a triphasic chart or something and test, even if it was negative! :) So I possibly might, without expecting anything at all. Just for the fun of it! And because it might be the last chance before my period shows. But I do wonder about the less "hot" feeling and whether that means my temp has already dropped down. I will be sure to update tomorrow! Right now I am going to bed!
Today has been a weird day. I can't even remember half of it. The main thing apart from the continuous (and sometimes really bothersome) queasiness has been the utter and complete exhaustion. Yesterday evening's entry mentioned me being "washed out" and exhausted, but now I'm at THIS evening, I see that I was practically skipping through fields of poppies last night compared with today. I feel absolutely grey with exhaustion, for no real reason. That could well be a sign that tomorrow I will get my period. Or, you know, a pregnancy symptom. I still maintain that I am absolutely 100% definitely pregnant at this moment in time. I feel pregnant. I have so many very familiar signs and symptoms, not just a little bit but all up in my face! ;) I have flat temps, an implantation dip in my typical window (between 4 and 7dpo) with associated CLEAR symptoms (for me) of implantation on the same day as the dip, and if my luteal phase does carry on until tomorrow, possibly a triphasic chart.
Today I have a definite increase in my sense of smell. My body is hungry before meals are due but my appetite is affected by this yucky queasy tummy. I am still really gassy but more up in my stomach now. The lemon soap in the bathroom is turning my stomach now that my nose is suddenly more sensitive. I had to put that same soap away last pregnancy (we had a pack of 4 and are just now using them up!). And right now I am eating an Oreo and can smell stale cigarettes from the taste in my mouth. Weirdness. Today I have an evvver so slightly sore/scratchy throat, with no possible exposure to any colds. I had forgotten about that one from my two-week-wait in Matthew's pregnancy! And Nathan's too, I think. I don't think I had that last pregnancy with Benjamin. I have had some bad cramps today. They have been a bit more "squeezy" or vice-like in nature, and are central and right down low in the pit of my abdomen. I have been convinced sooo many times today that my period has arrived, and have been to check several times, only to find absolutely nothing. The cramps have been rather on-and-off (also suspicious of pregnancy, never mind the whole thing about how I never have bad cramps during a luteal phase unless I'm pregnant!). The vice-like cramps in the centre have made me feel a bit sicky when they occur. They feel very familiar to me from previous pregnancies, but they're also so similar to period cramps that it's hard to be sure they're not to do with a period on the way (though I never cramp badly before a period starts, but anyway!).
Soooo what else? Just tired. So tired! Today for some crazy reason I decided to start potty training Matthew, and it has not been an easy day! ;) I have felt suddenly weepy at children's TV (another norm for me in early pregnancy, but probably could happen before a period too), and also definitely more irritable than usual today, but that could be a knock-on effect from the tiredness. This is day two of slightly tender breasts. Nursing is not sore though. I am not 100% sure that my milk supply is the same as it was a week ago. I usually know which breast I didn't feed with last because it's fuller when I check as I go to feed Benjamin, but today after a few hours there was no fullness really in either :S I am getting behind on my Through the Bible in 90 Days challenge because I am too tired for my eyes to read the words. I do read, and I am getting it read, but with a goal of about 15 chapters per day, I am just not able to do it when I feel this exhausted. My eyes start rolling around in my head spontaneously after about 3 chapters, haha! ;)
I am getting some pully-stretchy pains inside my hips on both sides, just short sensations here and there throughout the day. I also had a certain "bubbly" feeling that I wrote about with Arthur and Matthew's pregnancies during my LPs too, I think. Today and yesterday I have had what I now think are mini ligament pains, inside my hips. They occur both randomly and when I do things like getting up from my bed and twisting to pick Benjamin up from the bed as I'm almost upright. Then I get a quick flash of a twingey pain inside a hip. I know that is pregnant of me. I don't have lots of incidences, but those that have occurred have been just today and yesterday.
Okay I think that is all for today. Still SURE I am pregnant, but expecting to have a chemical pregnancy and a period eventually, because - maybe I shouldn't think this way? - that's the way I seem to do things. I am starting to wish it didn't have to be so inevitable and I could enjoy and be excited about some of these obvious pregnancy signs as they are occurring, but really I am just waiting for it all to end one way or another. Trying not to get attached to the idea of a little one starting to take root, which is really becoming difficult due to the fairly obvious signs that a little one IS taking root. All the more reason I should just cherish however few days I have attached to the new beginnings of a person, and celebrate the fact that it would be another child to meet one day in eternity. That is pretty special (I already have five!!) and it helps a lot to think of it that way. But I probably just should not even think about tiny bundles of furiously dividing cells burrowing into me in a determined manner! I LOVE to think of such things, but I probably shouldn't this time :(
On the other hand, somewhere around noon today I felt like something was a little different than in the morning. I wondered if my hormones were changing with my short LP kicking in, and my body therefore starting to shed the whole pregnancy thing and get busy preparing for a period. I haven't felt so hot inside through the afternoon as I have for the past few days. My feet are really cold tonight! I had a headache in the afternoon that was yucky and persistant and I immediately thought that it must obviously be the pre-period headache that I often get in the 12 or so hours before a period turns up (to do with hormones dropping or something). I took painkillers in the end and actually it cleared right up, which my pre-period headaches usually don't do (nothing touches them normally), so I don't know.
Today I have swung back and forth from feeling like I am absolutely definitely 100% pregnant and maybe it could really pan out! To feeling like I am absolutely definitely 100% about to get my period at any moment! ;)
But it's almost time for me to go to bed (early for me, but sooooooo tired) and no sign of my period yet. Tomorrow I am 8DPO, and it all hinges on what my temperature is in the morning, I think. I'm almost nervous (nervous-excitement, that is) about taking it, I'm so eager to find out one way or the other what my body is doing! If it drops and I get my period I will have had a 7 day luteal phase, which is not bad for my 3rd cycle at only 6 months postpartum! If it does not drop then we'll see. Even if my chart continues to be a pretty clear pregnancy chart, on any given day it could all suddenly cut off - that's how most of my chemical pregnancies have ended, and later than this too. It's too early to test still, which is somewhat driving me just a tiny bit crazy, but I have already considered testing at 8DPO, even being crazily early for any sort of accurate result. I have expired tests to use up, and who knows if I would just get a temp drop at 9DPO anyway, so it would be exciting to have a triphasic chart or something and test, even if it was negative! :) So I possibly might, without expecting anything at all. Just for the fun of it! And because it might be the last chance before my period shows. But I do wonder about the less "hot" feeling and whether that means my temp has already dropped down. I will be sure to update tomorrow! Right now I am going to bed!
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