Urrghhh, I feel soooooooo sick! Which is pretty much my exact wording (probably!) for all the "7 weeks" diary entries from my previous pregnancies! ;) But I really really really do. I am feeling a bit fed up of feeling so sick all the time, but NOT fed up of being pregnant. I love growing new tiny persons! :)
I am so looking forward to reaching the end of 7 weeks (I will reach my half-week point at the end of the day tomorrow, yay!) and heading into 8 weeks! Six and seven weeks are grim really, and very early on too. Eight weeks is still so nauseating and yucky, BUT it's exciting because before the week is over I start listening for the baby's heartbeat with my doppler!! :) I can't WAIT to hear that sweet sound! I didn't search earlier than 9 weeks exactly with my older three, but I searched at 8 weeks and 5 days with Benjamin, and there it was! I'll probably start around the same time this time. Only just over a week to goooo! :D
A couple of days ago I got my package from the hospital with all the usual information and also the date for my booking appointment with the midwife, and my 12 week scan! I love getting this particular package in the post each time! :) They send quite a thick booklet with alllll the information about the various tests and so on, and the hospital, what to expect, etc - all related to my local hospital. I have noticed over the years/babies (!) that they change the design on the front cover pretty much annually. The first one I had was 2004/2005 (Arthur), then they had a new design for 2005/2006 (Matthew), then I guess I must have missed one before the 2007/2008 one for Nathan. Benjamin's was a new design again for 2008/2009. It's always a really gorgeous photo of a newborn baby, taken at the hospital. I have kept all the booklets from my previous pregnancies, so I remember the photos on the front from my other pregnancies. Guess what the photo on the front is for 2010/2011? Yes, that's right! Newborn identical twin girls. I am not kidding! Every year it's a single newborn baby on the front, except THIS year! Uncanny.... I showed it to Neil with a chuckle, and he smiled, unsurprised, and said, "Hmmm!" Now, I really do LIKELY have one boy in there this time, but both Neil and I have seen and heard of craaaazy numbers of girl twins just since finding out I am pregnant. Before that even, but since conception. Anyway, it's a funny coincidence if nothing else!
So my booking appointment with the midwife is May 21st at 10.10am. That one should last a good while (but be fun!) because I have to go through a detailed history of my previous pregnancies and births! I love that part! :) I also have to have blood taken. Fun.
My scan will be June 3rd at 1.50pm! Yay! I will be 12 weeks and 3 days pregnant. They offer this scan specifically between 11 weeks and 5 days, and 13 weeks and 6 days. This is the "dating" scan, and also the nuchal test scan if we want to have that done. But we won't. They have changed it from just measuring the baby's nuchal fold to doing that AND me having a blood test. Benjamin's pregnancy was the first one I'd had since this change, and I said no to the test because it matters not a jot whether our baby has Down Syndrome or not. I do not want an extra blood test for something that isn't relevant to us! So we'll refuse that this time too, and as I recall, that makes for a very quick scan. I think it was only about 5 minutes long last time, which was a tad disappointing! We did see VERY clearly that Benjamin was a boy at the 12 week scan. It was the first time I had heard of the "angle of the dangle" theory (!!) with the genital tubercle (only accurate after 12 weeks and before 14 or 15 weeks apparently), and we happened to get a very good "nub shot" in the picture we were given, and he was a very obvious boy by the angle! ;) So I think I may have a good chance of seeing what this baby is in just 5 weeks, with that theory, if we get a good view like last time! 12 weeks and 3 days is just in the right window too! :) After all the scrutinizing I did last time and all the gallery images I browsed through, I pretty much know exactly what I'm looking for with either gender, and should hopefully be able to spot it at a glance if there is a good profile of the baby.
Well I am feeling sick enough to need to draw this to a close now, so I will quickly try to remember anything else I wanted to say.... Still no bleeding of any sort! :) I'm dizzy a lot at the moment, and INSANELY exhausted, seriously. I slept half the morning today, did nothing strenous whatsoever after I got up, and then took Benjamin for his second round of immunisations this afternoon, and was shaky and grey with exhaustion for the rest of the afternoon. The slightest thing just exhausts me! I wonder how much of that is normal? I know from experience that the first trimester is exhausting, but I feel pretty sure that this is NOT my norm. I wondered if maybe it is my diet - in that I'm not eating as much or as well as I normally do due to the constant nausea, but even so, that has been the case every pregnancy so it can't be that. Or maybe that I'm still breastfeeding on demand day and night? But this is my fourth (!!) pregnancy breastfeeding, and my 3rd tandem nursing - wow! :) When I was pregnant with Benjamin I was TRIandum nursing for the first trimester, and I still don't remember feeling as exhausted as I do now. So it can't be that. My mum wonders if it's my blood pressure being low or something? It could easily be - my blood pressure is nice and low in general, and in the first half of my pregnancies (or most of them, sometimes) it goes even lower. So it could be that. I should get my sphyg out and check, but I keep not getting round to it. Of course I have googled and discovered that the main early symptom that twin mothers have which is different from a singleton pregnancy is the extreme level of exhaustion. Hmmm. But I am (honestly!) trying not to think about that, because it's more realistic to think of another boy on the way! ;)
Oh, I caved and told my grandparents last week. So now everyone knows. I wanted to leave it a LONG time before telling them, because I knew they were not going to be happy and would worry for us. But it became something that hung over me, and eventually I figured it would be best to just get it out of the way, so I did. I phoned Granny on a day when I knew they had had GOOD news (they often have little things to complain about, and it's never a good idea to say, "We're having a baby!" when something has gone wrong for them in the last 48 hours or so!), and when she asked how I was, I told her that I wasn't feeling very well. She sounded concerned and asked what was wrong. I told her nothing was wrong, but I wasn't feeling well because I was expecting a baby. There was a VERY cold silence, and then she said in a rather cross tone, "Where are you going to put it?" I said (cheerfully!) that we needed to move, and she said crossly, "You said that last time!" I just tried to say everything as cheerfully and calmly as possible, so that she might be reassured?! But anyway. It was no fun. She did not say the word "congratulations" once, or anything close to it. It was way worse than last time I announced a pregnancy, but even so, I had wanted to tell Granny and not Grandoug first, because he would just have been more negative, and said, "Oh Alice, you're not, are you?!" and generally huffed about negatively while I tried to tell him due dates and stuff. I knew Granny wouldn't be pleased as such, but at least she would probably conceal actual "what a stupid thing to go and do!" type phrases while I talked to her about it!
Ugh. I love my grandparents though. They love me and worry for me. They are very anti-Christian and Jesus angers them. They mock Christianity. So they don't understand trusting God at all, or anything related to it. They have no idea how we'll cope. I have no idea either, but I know we WILL because these children are given to us by God, along with everything we need to raise them and provide for them according to His will! That is His promise to us, and I trust Him completely to provide for our needs, and equip us for the task. So, my grandparents can't even understand the language I'm talking in if I start saying things like that, let alone the concept.
I told Granny that we couldn't go and buy a new home right now because of Neil's situation, but he was hoping to have something soon that he could show the bank to enable us to get a mortgage. She snapped, "It's called an INCOME." :S She is never like that. I think she was just cross that we'd gone and done something that irresponsible or daft. Or something like that. I talked cheerfully for a while longer and after a while she sighed and said, "So, when is IT going to happen then?" ??!?!?! What kind of question is that?! I was hurt by that one. I told her December 13th, and she commented on a cold weather baby. *sigh* She just was NOT in the mood to be happy about any part of it. She said after that how she was glad to "hear my news" but that she had to go now because she had lots to do. I'm sure she then told Grandoug the second she was off the phone, but he hasn't been in touch with me since. I phoned my mum right after that, and she was surprisingly supportive of me, even though she hadn't responded brilliantly only a couple of weeks before when we told her the news. She asked if I was okay, and I was. I sort of laughed it off really because... I don't know actually. But it seemed lighthearted at the time, and not a big deal. Since then it has started to bother me a little more, especially the fact that they have not been in touch after it has sunk in a bit, to actually congratulate us. But they have visitors over from the States right now, and are actually staying with my parents for a week or so at the moment, so I guess they have been busy and preoccupied with their visitors and travelling to my parents'. Maybe I will speak to them while they are there, and they'll be more positive?
I have just felt a bit deflated recently about what I was warned about coming true - where people stop celebrating with you after the fourth baby, or even earlier in some cases. We got a plethora of new baby cards after we had Arthur, dozens and dozens and dozens. We ran out of places to display them! And the same again after we had Matthew. Considerably fewer after Nathan. And five. FIVE - count 'em on one hand - after Benjamin. He's still a miraculous and wonderful new little person!!! Why won't people see that and be happy and celebrate?!?! It really hurt my feelings! I know I need thicker skin, especially with the direction we're heading in (5+ children territory, lol!), but it really did hurt. Benjamin had no concept and didn't care a jot, but I felt hurt on his behalf all the same. It's not so much the number of cards as the incredible contrast between the first couple of new babies and the latest one. I notice (no digs, just a rather depressing observation) that for my first 3 pregnancies I had a LOT of comments and feedback from most of my diary entries, no matter how waffly and boring they were (hehe!), at my pregnancy diary. During Benjamin's pregnancy, a LOT less. Plenty of friendly and happy comments, but really noticably less than the other times. People mostly popped along in greater numbers like the old days to say something when there was significant news to warrant a comment, like a scan or a heartbeat, or a major issue or something. This time I have basically 2 cheerleaders here (love you girls!) and a handful of busy-but-excited-and-supportive mamas, and an Annie (xxx), occasionally commenting. Lots of entries have no comments, and sometimes I only find spam in the comment box! That is really uplifting, I can tell you! ;) I know I'm very boring in the first trimester, but I was the first few times too... It's just the stark contrast again. I also think that many of the commenters from my first few pregnancies were other mothers who were going through pregnancies/new motherhood at the same time as me, so maybe it was more relevant and interesting to visit my diary and comment back then. Obviously I am continuing to have babies now, and they aren't, and pregnancy is probably seeming quite a long way in the past now to some, so I wondered if the lack of "relevance" is a reason why they are no longer visiting or commenting.
Now, reading that back, it seems like I am stirring up complaints, but I had no intention of doing so. I just see it as an across-the-board thing where a 5th pregnancy is no longer a cause for excitement or joy or celebration, or even INTEREST, like the first two or three were. It's something that other mothers-of-many told me to expect, as far back as a few pregnancies ago. So I was not caught by surprise, but I AM disappointed and sad about the reality of it being played out. Also, where is this spam-in-language-I-can't-even-read coming from?! I'm deleting it as I find it, but still, it's annoying me! :S
I emailed my sweet and lovely doula, Heather, last night. She has booked me in, and told me that another lady has enquired for December - due on the 3rd. She has told the lady that she will be happy to take her on but that she will be second priority because she already has a booking! Yay, that's ME!!!! :D I was second priority last time, and it unnerved me a lot when July rolled around, so I'm reeeally pleased to be first priority this time! :) Anyway, I am (fanfare!!) in the process of writing Benjamin's birth story (more than halfway there now, yay!) and have lost the notes that Heather wrote. So I emailed her for another copy, and she emailed me back with them this morning! :) I had told her about my grandparents' reaction, and she wrote me SUCH a lovely email today about it. She was so encouraging and told me it's not the world that's normal and I'm insane, it's ME that's normal, and society isn't! ;) She sees babies as blessings from the Lord as well, and she told me to have as much joy as I could muster, reminded me how thrilled and joyful SHE is for me, and said I should keep reading 'Above Rubies' for encouragement :) So that was really uplifting to me after feeling a bit deflated for a week or two now. I AM so happy and cheerful about my pregnancy but I feel like I am sort of trying to hold up everyone else's good feelings about it with my own cheerfulness. And on a tired and nauseous day (after many in a row), it sometimes feels a bit much to be dragging everyone along reluctantly, trying to keep them in a celebratory vibe over this sweet new baby when it's just not coming naturally to them. That's probably a really skewed perspective but it's just how it feels today.
Agh, I said I would go ages ago because of naaauuusea but I didn't, and now I feel too green to move :( I will have to find something I can bear nibbling, and then I should feel better enough to brush my teeth and go to bed.
Sorry if this has been a bit pfthth, and PLEASE don't get defensive about the whole comments thing. I'm too tired right now to attempt to explain my innocence (really!) on that but please just don't take it the wrong way and think I'm whining about not getting comments from people any more, or angling for more of them. I DO want more comments please! ;) See, I'm not angling at all - I will be quite up-front if I need to, hehe! Comments = love, and I could do with some more right now, so even when I'm boring I would so appreciate more comments on this equally precious journey to the last four. I was just making an observation and feeling in a depressed mood about it, earlier, that's all.
Okay I am going to try to eat something and go to bed. I'll update again soon, hopefully. Oh! I meant to see what the baby's development is like now, but I haven't, and it will have to wait now. I'm sure it's amazing! :) My sweet little pip! I love that tiny poppet!
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Saturday, April 24, 2010
6 weeks, 5 days
Oh dear, I didn't realise it had almost been a week since my last post! I have wanted to update much of this week, but it would get too late or I would feel too nauseous or whatever. I could have just done a short post - that's what I should have done! But oh well!
So I have been counting the days off this week. Ohhh to be out of "6 weeks" and into "7 weeks" (which I will also count off with urgency!)! ;) I'm. SO. Nauseous. Allllllll the time. It starts when I wake - well, when I first MOVE in bed, although if I try to cheat it by lying very still for ages, it still creeps in anyway. It's basically here from the start of the day, but gets worse as the day goes on. The afternoons are horrible right now, and the evenings - traditionally my worst time - are about the same as the afternoons. Not necessarily worse. NO food or drink is making any difference to the nausea really. If I don't eat it gets worse quite fast once my tummy is empty, and I know I just have to eat to ride it out, so I do. But I feel sick whilst posting food in my mouth, and whilst chewing it, and whilst swallowing it, and that's just SO UNNATURAL! Seriously! It just isn't right to eat whilst incredibly nauseated!
I am once again eternally thankful that I am not actually vomiting - ugghhh how awful that must be! - but all the same I feel pretty fed up of feeling sick and the way it affects EVERYTHING I do all the time. I can't wait to fast forward to the end of the first trimester when hopefully I'll be feeling a little better, and the days left of morning sickness will be numbered! It seems like forever away right now, but I know it'll pass. Six weeks is pretty much my least favourite week because it feels like I've felt sick forever, and yet I'm still RIIIIGHT at the very beginning of morning sickness. Yeurgh.
So tomorrow is my LAST DAY before I reach 7 weeks pregnant! Yippeeeee!!! :D Another thing that is actually pretty weird for me - no bleeding or spotting! At all! It still could happen, yes, but I think I have always had spotting or bleeding of some sort by now, in all my other pregnancies. I was saying to Meg the other day how it's ironic that it would be the case THIS time, because it means for the first time I don't get an early scan! THIS time the question still hangs over me as to how many babies are in there, so it would have been lovely to get an early peek to find out! ;) If I don't have a reason for an early scan, I will be absolutely 100% sure of whether or not I am carrying twins BEFORE my first scan. I know what I look like and what my womb feels like by 12 weeks with a singleton pregnancy, and if this is a twin pregnancy I will look and feel MIGHTY different, haha! ;) I always feel the top of my uterus at the level of my pubic bone as I turn 8 weeks pregnant, and so far there is nothing to feel. So that would be a good early sign - if it's the same as the other times I will feel pretty confident that there is only one baby in there. I can't imagine I'll be in any doubt by the scan.
The other question remains, as always - girl or boy?! ;) I almost chuckle out loud as I ask that kind of question in relation to one of MY pregnancies, ha! ;) My assumption (sort of 95% ish) is boy, because that's what I do. I know it doesn't mean that I'll always bear boys, but 4 in a row is surely fairly good evidence of, well, 5 in a row! I do see other families (granted ALL online, and NONE in real life, since nobody has 5 children at all, let alone 4 boys in a row and then a girl, haha!) with 4 boys and then a girl, or 5 boys and then a girl, but I also see plenty of them with 5, 6, 7 or 8 boys in a row and zero girls. Okay, so I pretty much only find these families at MOMYS (Mothers Of Many Young Siblings) and not anywhere else, but there are LOTS of families there to see! ;)
Yes, I do have names picked for girlie twins (first and middle names) - I am sure about the first one and not quite so sure about the second, even though I love it, because I also love a THIRD girl's name, so I change those back and forth a bit, but yes, I have names! Now, Neil does NOT have girlie twin names. He also slightly curls his lip at my choices! So while I say I *HAVE* the girls' names picked, that all might change if we end up actually HAVING twin girls! ;)
We do have a full boy's name picked, 100% for sure, first and middle names. I am not planning to share those names until the big scan, when I like to reveal both the gender and the baby's name here at the same time. Some pregnancies I think I have shared names that we're considering, or maybe a shortlist we're choosing from, and I DO like to share early! But I like the announcement, and being excited about it, so I will keep you in suspense until then I'm afraid! :) We tell family the name when we tell them the gender (after the big scan), but nobody else at ALL finds out the name until the birth. We do tell the whole world that we're having a boy, so we like to keep something unknown for the announcement that he's here. One of my pregnancies, I did say I wouldn't share the name here until the scan, and then before the scan I changed my mind and shared! ;) So you never know! But the plan is not to share here till the scan. I guess that would take place roughly the last week in July or the first week in August. I can't wait! :) It's always so fun, and the fun isn't dulled at ALL by finding out it's another boy, even if we've already caught a glimpse of "something" at the 12-week scan! ;) I do think that this time, when we see those familiar boy bits in grainy grey and white on the screen, we will probably just start to laugh and laugh! ;) Neil did that last time, and I feel like I will join him this time, hehe! It's kind of funny when it happens. The sonographer is curious about the laughter and we feel like we're telling a joke or something as we say, "We've got X boys already!" ;) It's fun to see their reactions, and they say, "No girls?!" in a shocked tone!
Now, if we turn up at that scan and I glance at the boy bits and see that they are missing, I am pretty sure that if I can speak I will probably stutter out, "Is that a...a... GIRL?!?!" Either that or I will fall off the bed in shock. Seriously. I am sooooo not expecting to ever see a baby with girly bits in my tummy! ;)
Well I just took a break to nurse my sweet Benjaminny who woke up while I was typing the above. Ahhh how I love it! How grateful I am to be allowed to go through it all again! :) So wonderful!
I have no soreness whilst breastfeeding still, but I know that can change at any time. Very glad that there hasn't been any yet, so far! I am having occasional little ligament pains and pulls, and have continued to have a lot of discomfort and pain around my pubic bone (above/behind/to the sides/under it). It's not the pubic bone itself at all, but what is going on underneath, deeper inside. It HURTS! I don't *think* this is usual for me, but I honestly can't remember for sure, and I haven't had chance to check my diary. But anyway. Right now I haven't got any discomfort, and in fact today has been quite comfy in that department as far as it goes, but most of the week it has been distractingly sore or uncomfy. I wondered about a bladder infection at one point as it felt sore to wee a couple of times on a particular day mid-week, but other than that I have had no other symptoms of one at all.
Yesterday I started to get a big increase in CM. I think that IS normal for me somewhere around now. I was sure it was bleeding, but no! :) I do have to wear panty liners now though. Makes it easier to check for bleeding, which I am still doing when I go to the toilet.
I am ridiculously tired all the time. My husband is truly a star! He is out of work at the moment. He does have things he needs to work on every day at the computer, but since I started feeling hideous, he lets me have humongous lie-ins every day!!! What a man! :) He gets up with the boys at 6am or so, and I stay in bed. A couple of hours later, he brings me Benjamin to breastfeed, and after I do that I put him down for his nap next to me. Then I go back to sleep with him! I sleep as long as he does (variable, but today it was an incredible 3 hours - all morning!!!) and then get up with him and try to eat something. Neil does all (ALL!) the pooey nappies in this house at the moment, because I find them so impossible with how sick I feel. And only one of our four children is potty trained! He also wipes the bum of the potty trained one, when he needs help! He is WONDERFUL. I have never had a pregnancy where I have been blessed to be able to nap, after the first one. Once you have children, that's the end of that! ;) Unless you still have a napper, but even though Arthur wasn't even a year old when I got pregnant with Matthew, he was such an appauling napper that I didn't get to nap that time either! This is so wonderful. I have never had a pregnancy like it, and I feel so incredibly blessed.
That said, with allll that extra sleep, even today waking up at 11am (!!!), I was tired enough by only 1pm (yes, 2 hours later) to feel shaky with exhaustion. Crazy! Even when I am just sitting around reading to my little ones, my body is doing enough busy stuff inside to make me feel like I just trained for a marathon or something! I still yawn and yawn and yawn my way through the afternoons after my morning lie-ins, and occasionally doze off by accident breastfeeding Benjamin before his afternoon nap. I struggle to stay awake at bedtime when I put the boys to bed. And yet I am often up late (till midnight usually) just relaxing on the sofa and catching up with blogs and Facebook. I try to graze on food all evening, and try to get some fluids in as well, especially if I haven't done too well at that during the day. It's a good time to catch up a bit in a relaxed manner! The place doesn't feel very relaxed with all these noisy little boysies running about all day long! ;) I am not sure that I remember feeling this tired the other times, but I probably did. I just think that I feel JUST as tired, even with the masses of extra sleep, so wouldn't that equate to being MORE tired this time? Hmmm.
So I am one blessed girlie to have such a fantabulous unemployed husband! :) I have no idea how I'd manage without him right now, but looking back at the other pregnancies, I know I just would get on with it and somehow "manage" all the same. The house is in a horrible state though. Neil is running the laundry through (our machine broke! And is now fixed, yay! And our lovely church family did some washing for us while it was broken!) and some dishwasher loads, but otherwise it's a real state. I can't bear to be in the kitchen at all, it just makes me feel so sick! I do pick up the living room and fold laundry, but I get dizzy doing that for too long. I have had quite a lot of lightheadedness and dizziness. And yesterday I had my first pregnancy-induced blood sugar crash thingy, where I went from queasy and not hungry to incredibly ravenous in about 60 seconds, and then when I couldn't get food RIGHT THEN I went straight to visibly shaky and wobbly, and faint. I get that a lot with my pregnancies, but I don't think this early. I'm too busy feeling sick to have that kind of thing going on, probably! And it's difficult because I DO feel too sick to eat like I'm ravenous, but still need to. Yeurgh.
I can't think what else? Oh I had a dream the other night! I am having crazy vivid dreams every night, but the other morning I woke up from a really simple matter-of-fact dream about having had the baby. It was like a couple of lines from a birth announcement, short and to-the-point. It just said, "Boy. 8lbs 8oz." and that's it! And I woke up at that exact moment and lay there thinking, "Well, that's it then!" because it seemed soooo likely, weight and all! I have had boy dreams and girl dreams in my other pregnancies though, so I don't put much on gender dreams. I did have one right before Matthew's scan that had a sense of reality to it - in that he was a boy, and I just KNEW it was an accurate dream. But I also have loads of gender dreams that are just "for fun", you know? I rarely think they have any bearing, because I have girl ones too. I haven't had any girl ones yet this pregnancy, but that's probably because that would just be a WEIRD thing to dream about for me, ha! ;)
My Tiny Pip is getting ever so much more developed all the time - with eyes and heart valves and kidney buds and lung sacs and limbs and so on developing! Soooo much going on in there right now, it's amazing. It seems to me when I read the information that the pace of development is at a peak at the moment. The baby is curled over with a HUGE head so that it looks sort of square shaped, and is about 5 or 6mm square! Very visible now! :) This is the stage that I have had a lot of the early scans, so I know what that little pickle looks like in there already! :) I can't wait to meet him!
Feeling sick and it's getting late, so I will try to nibble something else and then go to bed. Yay for 7 weeks approaching! :) I remember 7 weeks is also pretty hideous, as is 8 weeks, but it gets more exciting with each week passing, and it's also another week towards the finish line as far as morning sickness goes, so that's helpful! I'm glad to feel reassured that Tiny Pip is okay in there, with allll this quease. I'm still praying to NOT have any more of it, and for Tiny Pip to do fine all the same! :)
So I have been counting the days off this week. Ohhh to be out of "6 weeks" and into "7 weeks" (which I will also count off with urgency!)! ;) I'm. SO. Nauseous. Allllllll the time. It starts when I wake - well, when I first MOVE in bed, although if I try to cheat it by lying very still for ages, it still creeps in anyway. It's basically here from the start of the day, but gets worse as the day goes on. The afternoons are horrible right now, and the evenings - traditionally my worst time - are about the same as the afternoons. Not necessarily worse. NO food or drink is making any difference to the nausea really. If I don't eat it gets worse quite fast once my tummy is empty, and I know I just have to eat to ride it out, so I do. But I feel sick whilst posting food in my mouth, and whilst chewing it, and whilst swallowing it, and that's just SO UNNATURAL! Seriously! It just isn't right to eat whilst incredibly nauseated!
I am once again eternally thankful that I am not actually vomiting - ugghhh how awful that must be! - but all the same I feel pretty fed up of feeling sick and the way it affects EVERYTHING I do all the time. I can't wait to fast forward to the end of the first trimester when hopefully I'll be feeling a little better, and the days left of morning sickness will be numbered! It seems like forever away right now, but I know it'll pass. Six weeks is pretty much my least favourite week because it feels like I've felt sick forever, and yet I'm still RIIIIGHT at the very beginning of morning sickness. Yeurgh.
So tomorrow is my LAST DAY before I reach 7 weeks pregnant! Yippeeeee!!! :D Another thing that is actually pretty weird for me - no bleeding or spotting! At all! It still could happen, yes, but I think I have always had spotting or bleeding of some sort by now, in all my other pregnancies. I was saying to Meg the other day how it's ironic that it would be the case THIS time, because it means for the first time I don't get an early scan! THIS time the question still hangs over me as to how many babies are in there, so it would have been lovely to get an early peek to find out! ;) If I don't have a reason for an early scan, I will be absolutely 100% sure of whether or not I am carrying twins BEFORE my first scan. I know what I look like and what my womb feels like by 12 weeks with a singleton pregnancy, and if this is a twin pregnancy I will look and feel MIGHTY different, haha! ;) I always feel the top of my uterus at the level of my pubic bone as I turn 8 weeks pregnant, and so far there is nothing to feel. So that would be a good early sign - if it's the same as the other times I will feel pretty confident that there is only one baby in there. I can't imagine I'll be in any doubt by the scan.
The other question remains, as always - girl or boy?! ;) I almost chuckle out loud as I ask that kind of question in relation to one of MY pregnancies, ha! ;) My assumption (sort of 95% ish) is boy, because that's what I do. I know it doesn't mean that I'll always bear boys, but 4 in a row is surely fairly good evidence of, well, 5 in a row! I do see other families (granted ALL online, and NONE in real life, since nobody has 5 children at all, let alone 4 boys in a row and then a girl, haha!) with 4 boys and then a girl, or 5 boys and then a girl, but I also see plenty of them with 5, 6, 7 or 8 boys in a row and zero girls. Okay, so I pretty much only find these families at MOMYS (Mothers Of Many Young Siblings) and not anywhere else, but there are LOTS of families there to see! ;)
Yes, I do have names picked for girlie twins (first and middle names) - I am sure about the first one and not quite so sure about the second, even though I love it, because I also love a THIRD girl's name, so I change those back and forth a bit, but yes, I have names! Now, Neil does NOT have girlie twin names. He also slightly curls his lip at my choices! So while I say I *HAVE* the girls' names picked, that all might change if we end up actually HAVING twin girls! ;)
We do have a full boy's name picked, 100% for sure, first and middle names. I am not planning to share those names until the big scan, when I like to reveal both the gender and the baby's name here at the same time. Some pregnancies I think I have shared names that we're considering, or maybe a shortlist we're choosing from, and I DO like to share early! But I like the announcement, and being excited about it, so I will keep you in suspense until then I'm afraid! :) We tell family the name when we tell them the gender (after the big scan), but nobody else at ALL finds out the name until the birth. We do tell the whole world that we're having a boy, so we like to keep something unknown for the announcement that he's here. One of my pregnancies, I did say I wouldn't share the name here until the scan, and then before the scan I changed my mind and shared! ;) So you never know! But the plan is not to share here till the scan. I guess that would take place roughly the last week in July or the first week in August. I can't wait! :) It's always so fun, and the fun isn't dulled at ALL by finding out it's another boy, even if we've already caught a glimpse of "something" at the 12-week scan! ;) I do think that this time, when we see those familiar boy bits in grainy grey and white on the screen, we will probably just start to laugh and laugh! ;) Neil did that last time, and I feel like I will join him this time, hehe! It's kind of funny when it happens. The sonographer is curious about the laughter and we feel like we're telling a joke or something as we say, "We've got X boys already!" ;) It's fun to see their reactions, and they say, "No girls?!" in a shocked tone!
Now, if we turn up at that scan and I glance at the boy bits and see that they are missing, I am pretty sure that if I can speak I will probably stutter out, "Is that a...a... GIRL?!?!" Either that or I will fall off the bed in shock. Seriously. I am sooooo not expecting to ever see a baby with girly bits in my tummy! ;)
Well I just took a break to nurse my sweet Benjaminny who woke up while I was typing the above. Ahhh how I love it! How grateful I am to be allowed to go through it all again! :) So wonderful!
I have no soreness whilst breastfeeding still, but I know that can change at any time. Very glad that there hasn't been any yet, so far! I am having occasional little ligament pains and pulls, and have continued to have a lot of discomfort and pain around my pubic bone (above/behind/to the sides/under it). It's not the pubic bone itself at all, but what is going on underneath, deeper inside. It HURTS! I don't *think* this is usual for me, but I honestly can't remember for sure, and I haven't had chance to check my diary. But anyway. Right now I haven't got any discomfort, and in fact today has been quite comfy in that department as far as it goes, but most of the week it has been distractingly sore or uncomfy. I wondered about a bladder infection at one point as it felt sore to wee a couple of times on a particular day mid-week, but other than that I have had no other symptoms of one at all.
Yesterday I started to get a big increase in CM. I think that IS normal for me somewhere around now. I was sure it was bleeding, but no! :) I do have to wear panty liners now though. Makes it easier to check for bleeding, which I am still doing when I go to the toilet.
I am ridiculously tired all the time. My husband is truly a star! He is out of work at the moment. He does have things he needs to work on every day at the computer, but since I started feeling hideous, he lets me have humongous lie-ins every day!!! What a man! :) He gets up with the boys at 6am or so, and I stay in bed. A couple of hours later, he brings me Benjamin to breastfeed, and after I do that I put him down for his nap next to me. Then I go back to sleep with him! I sleep as long as he does (variable, but today it was an incredible 3 hours - all morning!!!) and then get up with him and try to eat something. Neil does all (ALL!) the pooey nappies in this house at the moment, because I find them so impossible with how sick I feel. And only one of our four children is potty trained! He also wipes the bum of the potty trained one, when he needs help! He is WONDERFUL. I have never had a pregnancy where I have been blessed to be able to nap, after the first one. Once you have children, that's the end of that! ;) Unless you still have a napper, but even though Arthur wasn't even a year old when I got pregnant with Matthew, he was such an appauling napper that I didn't get to nap that time either! This is so wonderful. I have never had a pregnancy like it, and I feel so incredibly blessed.
That said, with allll that extra sleep, even today waking up at 11am (!!!), I was tired enough by only 1pm (yes, 2 hours later) to feel shaky with exhaustion. Crazy! Even when I am just sitting around reading to my little ones, my body is doing enough busy stuff inside to make me feel like I just trained for a marathon or something! I still yawn and yawn and yawn my way through the afternoons after my morning lie-ins, and occasionally doze off by accident breastfeeding Benjamin before his afternoon nap. I struggle to stay awake at bedtime when I put the boys to bed. And yet I am often up late (till midnight usually) just relaxing on the sofa and catching up with blogs and Facebook. I try to graze on food all evening, and try to get some fluids in as well, especially if I haven't done too well at that during the day. It's a good time to catch up a bit in a relaxed manner! The place doesn't feel very relaxed with all these noisy little boysies running about all day long! ;) I am not sure that I remember feeling this tired the other times, but I probably did. I just think that I feel JUST as tired, even with the masses of extra sleep, so wouldn't that equate to being MORE tired this time? Hmmm.
So I am one blessed girlie to have such a fantabulous unemployed husband! :) I have no idea how I'd manage without him right now, but looking back at the other pregnancies, I know I just would get on with it and somehow "manage" all the same. The house is in a horrible state though. Neil is running the laundry through (our machine broke! And is now fixed, yay! And our lovely church family did some washing for us while it was broken!) and some dishwasher loads, but otherwise it's a real state. I can't bear to be in the kitchen at all, it just makes me feel so sick! I do pick up the living room and fold laundry, but I get dizzy doing that for too long. I have had quite a lot of lightheadedness and dizziness. And yesterday I had my first pregnancy-induced blood sugar crash thingy, where I went from queasy and not hungry to incredibly ravenous in about 60 seconds, and then when I couldn't get food RIGHT THEN I went straight to visibly shaky and wobbly, and faint. I get that a lot with my pregnancies, but I don't think this early. I'm too busy feeling sick to have that kind of thing going on, probably! And it's difficult because I DO feel too sick to eat like I'm ravenous, but still need to. Yeurgh.
I can't think what else? Oh I had a dream the other night! I am having crazy vivid dreams every night, but the other morning I woke up from a really simple matter-of-fact dream about having had the baby. It was like a couple of lines from a birth announcement, short and to-the-point. It just said, "Boy. 8lbs 8oz." and that's it! And I woke up at that exact moment and lay there thinking, "Well, that's it then!" because it seemed soooo likely, weight and all! I have had boy dreams and girl dreams in my other pregnancies though, so I don't put much on gender dreams. I did have one right before Matthew's scan that had a sense of reality to it - in that he was a boy, and I just KNEW it was an accurate dream. But I also have loads of gender dreams that are just "for fun", you know? I rarely think they have any bearing, because I have girl ones too. I haven't had any girl ones yet this pregnancy, but that's probably because that would just be a WEIRD thing to dream about for me, ha! ;)
My Tiny Pip is getting ever so much more developed all the time - with eyes and heart valves and kidney buds and lung sacs and limbs and so on developing! Soooo much going on in there right now, it's amazing. It seems to me when I read the information that the pace of development is at a peak at the moment. The baby is curled over with a HUGE head so that it looks sort of square shaped, and is about 5 or 6mm square! Very visible now! :) This is the stage that I have had a lot of the early scans, so I know what that little pickle looks like in there already! :) I can't wait to meet him!
Feeling sick and it's getting late, so I will try to nibble something else and then go to bed. Yay for 7 weeks approaching! :) I remember 7 weeks is also pretty hideous, as is 8 weeks, but it gets more exciting with each week passing, and it's also another week towards the finish line as far as morning sickness goes, so that's helpful! I'm glad to feel reassured that Tiny Pip is okay in there, with allll this quease. I'm still praying to NOT have any more of it, and for Tiny Pip to do fine all the same! :)
Sunday, April 18, 2010
5 weeks, 6 days
Okay so I have now arrived at the usual start date for my morning sickness! I feel horribly nauseated tonight. Horrrribly. The morning was not too bad at all, as we were at church and although I felt queasy, it was easier to ignore because of all the distraction of the service and people to talk to, and the little ones rushing about. Late afternoon today I was trying to snack on something I could bear eating, knowing that I would not be able to attempt dinner if I didn't ease the nausea a bit before dinner time. That feels awfully familiar to me now! Dinner was hard to eat, I felt so sick, and had to eat it in three sittings over about an hour. Leaving my tummy half or mostly empty would have been a big mistake, which I would have discovered about an hour later! So I ate almost all of it. Now it's mid-evening and I have had a yoghurt (note to self: do not eat any more yoghurt until the end of the first trimester) and am now nibbling digestive biscuits. I feel so sick! :( I may just have to go to bed to try and shut it off by sleeping, I think.
So morning sickness is DEFINITELY here. But it didn't start today, or yesterday. It has definitely been going since 5 weeks and 1 day, but it has become worse over the course of the week, I think. Verrrry subtly because I can't really pinpoint when it has become worse. I know I felt like this last night, and much of yesterday actually. And I've had moments like this in the couple of days before that. Anyway, the main thing is that it's HERE, and I'm relieved to have reached the 5w6d mark for some reason. The anticipation was getting uncomfortable! Now to just ride it out till it finishes, which I really hope will be by about 14 weeks. If it does carry on longer (which it has done for 50% of my pregnancies before now) then at least I know I will likely feel MUCH better from 14 weeks until it goes away, and it will be much more manageable. 8 weeks to go! :S Glad the time will go fast!
Tomorrow I will be 6 weeks pregnant! :) Yay! No spotting or bleeding of any sort yet. I did go to the toilet twice at church to check, because I felt a bit leaky, but it was nothing. I have more CM than usual today, but that's just a pregnancy thing. Doesn't help a slightly nervous pregnant woman though!
Not much else really. Things taste quite bitter today - carbs and such, which I don't think they have done for the earlier part of the week. In fact that might be new today? It's only when I feel really sick, and it's only really bread and biscuits and things like that. Carbs. Bitter = mouth watering all the time = worsening nausea. Yucko. I think I am going to try sucking mints like Valerie suggested! I'll give anything a try really. If it doesn't work for me then oh well.
I have been feeling quite crampy and achy lately. Definitely today and yesterday. I have continued to have some low pain that I can't really decide about - whether it's bowel or womb related. It's just sore and in a location for both, and could be either. I have been thinking bowel, and have definitely had crazy wind (!) recently and some other somewhat TMI issues (!!), but that seems a lot better today and I'm still feeling crampy. Without the bowel-ish issues in the way, it does feel a lot more clearly like womb crampiness. It's not exactly crampiness though either. Sometimes it's just like a dragging achiness. It also hurts through to the small of my back a lot of the time, and it's just distractingly uncomfortable most of the time I'm up and about through the day. The boys climb on my tummy - well, the two littlest do - and it's unbearable to have them press down on my lower tummy any more. I can't even let Nathey sit down on my tummy like he sometimes does for me to read a story to him when I'm reclining. I can't let the pressure be placed on my abdomen - it's too uncomfy. I normally notice the top of my uterus juuuust at the top of my pubic bone at around 8 weeks. So I'm thinking if I DO have two in there, I would be able to feel my uterus there even earlier? I don't know about this early, but there's nothing yet. I wondered if the achiness was just that "growing" type of discomfort to do with the womb stretching and growing in early pregnancy, but I am not sure really. No spotting anyway, and that's a big relief! :)
I announced my pregnancy on Facebook the other day, which was lots of fun! :) So now everybody knows really. Lots of people at church are on Facebook and so when I went today pretty much everybody knew, and I got lots of congratulations, and "You're brave!" type of comments, and so on! It turns out that there's some sort of baby boom going on at church, because EVERYBODY is pregnant, and I only knew about a couple of them! That's so nice! :) One of my friends at church, who I just discovered is pregnant, was saying to another pregnant friend (see!!) who was congratulating me, "I KNEW Alice was pregnant!" We asked her how she knew, and she said, "Well, everybody else is pregnant, so I thought Alice must be too!" hahaha! ;) Babies come in "batches" at our fairly small church. We have about a year of no births, and then a handful over a few months, and then another quiet patch, and so on. So far, over the last 5-6 years, I have been part of every single "batch" of babies at church, so maybe that's where this friend was coming from?! ;) Anyway it is fun to have the news "out there"! Nobody at our church has ever had more than 4 children in the whole time we've been there. And actually there's only one couple who had 4 children! Everyone else has had the standard 2, with the exception of a couple of families having 3. So we're REALLY WEIRD at church! But everyone seems happy and excited for us, so that's nice.
Today I am 27 days past ovulation, and my Tiny Pip has just finished Carnegie Stage 12 of embryonic development, and has already begun Carnegie Stage 13. Soooo much is going on inside my body right now, it's just amazing! The eyes and the ears have just begun to form. The neural tube is now closed, and upper limb buds have just appeared! Valves and septa are forming in that teeny tiny precious little heart that is beating away already. Amaaaazing! So wonderful to imagine! :) Tiny Pip is about 4 or 5mm long, easily visible to the naked eye, and curved into a 'C' shape. I love that tiny bean!!!!
Oh and we have a boy's name! Seriously, already! :) Two nights ago I was just busying myself on the laptop, and a name popped into my head - one we've considered in the past, even from the first pregnancy, but which had never seemed all that special to me before. Well, a lovely name, but not special enough to me the other times. Neil liked it before though. Anyway, it popped into my head and I loved it enough to call out the name to Neil in the kitchen. He called back, "Yeah! Great one!" and I settled back to my laptop stuff happily. And literally within about 30 seconds, I KNEW that was the name. Almost to the point where I started to think that surely this baby MUST be a boy, since I have had this familiar "know it in my knower" feeling before and it always has turned out to be a boy those times too, hehe! Anyway, oh how I love this name suddenly! I love it when I say all FIVE boys' names in a row - it sounds nice with the four we already have. It sounds nice with our surname. I adore the meaning. I like it, like it, like it! :) It stayed on my mind till bedtime, by which time I could totally picture this little one with this name as I laid my hand low on my abdomen and talked fondly to him (I guess I should say him/her!). By yesterday I was almost feeling like I would feel sad if the baby DIDN'T turn out to be a boy, because then we wouldn't have our "____", you know? How funny to think that I already have four boys, and zero daughters, and that I might have a sense of disappointment if it's a girl - hahaha! That just strikes me as funny! ;) Last night I prayed that if this baby IS a girl (or a couple of them!) that we would still be blessed with our "____" after the girl(s)! I do so love the little one that I have attached to the boy name. Last night Neil randomly said to me, "You know that name you mentioned the other night? Well, I love it. That's the one!" So we are definitely agreed! I do wonder if that alone points to the baby being a boy?! Who knows how we'll ever agree on a girl's name! ;)
Anyway it is lovely to know that we are TOTALLY ready with a boy's name! We haven't discussed middle names for it, but I already have two that I love that I know Neil would be happy choosing from, so that's good! :)
Well I am feeling so sick. I think I will have to stop using the laptop and maybe go to bed. An early night wouldn't be a bad thing anyway - I have been so tired lately. Maybe it might even ease the nausea a bit to be less exhausted? Here's hoping! I'll update again soon!
So morning sickness is DEFINITELY here. But it didn't start today, or yesterday. It has definitely been going since 5 weeks and 1 day, but it has become worse over the course of the week, I think. Verrrry subtly because I can't really pinpoint when it has become worse. I know I felt like this last night, and much of yesterday actually. And I've had moments like this in the couple of days before that. Anyway, the main thing is that it's HERE, and I'm relieved to have reached the 5w6d mark for some reason. The anticipation was getting uncomfortable! Now to just ride it out till it finishes, which I really hope will be by about 14 weeks. If it does carry on longer (which it has done for 50% of my pregnancies before now) then at least I know I will likely feel MUCH better from 14 weeks until it goes away, and it will be much more manageable. 8 weeks to go! :S Glad the time will go fast!
Tomorrow I will be 6 weeks pregnant! :) Yay! No spotting or bleeding of any sort yet. I did go to the toilet twice at church to check, because I felt a bit leaky, but it was nothing. I have more CM than usual today, but that's just a pregnancy thing. Doesn't help a slightly nervous pregnant woman though!
Not much else really. Things taste quite bitter today - carbs and such, which I don't think they have done for the earlier part of the week. In fact that might be new today? It's only when I feel really sick, and it's only really bread and biscuits and things like that. Carbs. Bitter = mouth watering all the time = worsening nausea. Yucko. I think I am going to try sucking mints like Valerie suggested! I'll give anything a try really. If it doesn't work for me then oh well.
I have been feeling quite crampy and achy lately. Definitely today and yesterday. I have continued to have some low pain that I can't really decide about - whether it's bowel or womb related. It's just sore and in a location for both, and could be either. I have been thinking bowel, and have definitely had crazy wind (!) recently and some other somewhat TMI issues (!!), but that seems a lot better today and I'm still feeling crampy. Without the bowel-ish issues in the way, it does feel a lot more clearly like womb crampiness. It's not exactly crampiness though either. Sometimes it's just like a dragging achiness. It also hurts through to the small of my back a lot of the time, and it's just distractingly uncomfortable most of the time I'm up and about through the day. The boys climb on my tummy - well, the two littlest do - and it's unbearable to have them press down on my lower tummy any more. I can't even let Nathey sit down on my tummy like he sometimes does for me to read a story to him when I'm reclining. I can't let the pressure be placed on my abdomen - it's too uncomfy. I normally notice the top of my uterus juuuust at the top of my pubic bone at around 8 weeks. So I'm thinking if I DO have two in there, I would be able to feel my uterus there even earlier? I don't know about this early, but there's nothing yet. I wondered if the achiness was just that "growing" type of discomfort to do with the womb stretching and growing in early pregnancy, but I am not sure really. No spotting anyway, and that's a big relief! :)
I announced my pregnancy on Facebook the other day, which was lots of fun! :) So now everybody knows really. Lots of people at church are on Facebook and so when I went today pretty much everybody knew, and I got lots of congratulations, and "You're brave!" type of comments, and so on! It turns out that there's some sort of baby boom going on at church, because EVERYBODY is pregnant, and I only knew about a couple of them! That's so nice! :) One of my friends at church, who I just discovered is pregnant, was saying to another pregnant friend (see!!) who was congratulating me, "I KNEW Alice was pregnant!" We asked her how she knew, and she said, "Well, everybody else is pregnant, so I thought Alice must be too!" hahaha! ;) Babies come in "batches" at our fairly small church. We have about a year of no births, and then a handful over a few months, and then another quiet patch, and so on. So far, over the last 5-6 years, I have been part of every single "batch" of babies at church, so maybe that's where this friend was coming from?! ;) Anyway it is fun to have the news "out there"! Nobody at our church has ever had more than 4 children in the whole time we've been there. And actually there's only one couple who had 4 children! Everyone else has had the standard 2, with the exception of a couple of families having 3. So we're REALLY WEIRD at church! But everyone seems happy and excited for us, so that's nice.
Today I am 27 days past ovulation, and my Tiny Pip has just finished Carnegie Stage 12 of embryonic development, and has already begun Carnegie Stage 13. Soooo much is going on inside my body right now, it's just amazing! The eyes and the ears have just begun to form. The neural tube is now closed, and upper limb buds have just appeared! Valves and septa are forming in that teeny tiny precious little heart that is beating away already. Amaaaazing! So wonderful to imagine! :) Tiny Pip is about 4 or 5mm long, easily visible to the naked eye, and curved into a 'C' shape. I love that tiny bean!!!!
Oh and we have a boy's name! Seriously, already! :) Two nights ago I was just busying myself on the laptop, and a name popped into my head - one we've considered in the past, even from the first pregnancy, but which had never seemed all that special to me before. Well, a lovely name, but not special enough to me the other times. Neil liked it before though. Anyway, it popped into my head and I loved it enough to call out the name to Neil in the kitchen. He called back, "Yeah! Great one!" and I settled back to my laptop stuff happily. And literally within about 30 seconds, I KNEW that was the name. Almost to the point where I started to think that surely this baby MUST be a boy, since I have had this familiar "know it in my knower" feeling before and it always has turned out to be a boy those times too, hehe! Anyway, oh how I love this name suddenly! I love it when I say all FIVE boys' names in a row - it sounds nice with the four we already have. It sounds nice with our surname. I adore the meaning. I like it, like it, like it! :) It stayed on my mind till bedtime, by which time I could totally picture this little one with this name as I laid my hand low on my abdomen and talked fondly to him (I guess I should say him/her!). By yesterday I was almost feeling like I would feel sad if the baby DIDN'T turn out to be a boy, because then we wouldn't have our "____", you know? How funny to think that I already have four boys, and zero daughters, and that I might have a sense of disappointment if it's a girl - hahaha! That just strikes me as funny! ;) Last night I prayed that if this baby IS a girl (or a couple of them!) that we would still be blessed with our "____" after the girl(s)! I do so love the little one that I have attached to the boy name. Last night Neil randomly said to me, "You know that name you mentioned the other night? Well, I love it. That's the one!" So we are definitely agreed! I do wonder if that alone points to the baby being a boy?! Who knows how we'll ever agree on a girl's name! ;)
Anyway it is lovely to know that we are TOTALLY ready with a boy's name! We haven't discussed middle names for it, but I already have two that I love that I know Neil would be happy choosing from, so that's good! :)
Well I am feeling so sick. I think I will have to stop using the laptop and maybe go to bed. An early night wouldn't be a bad thing anyway - I have been so tired lately. Maybe it might even ease the nausea a bit to be less exhausted? Here's hoping! I'll update again soon!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
5 weeks, 2 days
Well I wondered at 5 weeks exactly, and became SURE yesterday, and just for confirmation I'm extra sure today, that morning sickness has definitely started! It's not nice, but in a way I AM finding it nice because it's interesting! Interesting because it's different, and my pregnancies are always so exactly alike (well, to a point! With the morning sickness anyway!) that different is kind of fun! ;) This is definitely early for me to start morning sickness. I know it's only a week early, but for a girl who starts it at the exact same DAY every time, this is quite a change! I don't know that it means anything though. Already people are saying, "GIRL!!!" or "TWINS!!!", but I don't know.... I don't think it necessarily has to mean anything. Time will tell, I guess!
So far I am a little bit apprehensive that this is just Gear One of morning sickness, and that when I reach my usual start time for morning sickness at the weekend, Gear Two will kick in and I'll be sicker than ever before, or something! :S I reeeeeeally hope not, but I'm a bit nervous about it! Right now I am somewhere between very queasy and nauseous all day except for the first part of the morning. It starts between 10 and 11am and is then THERE, pretty much just sitting yuckily, but it does get somewhat worse as the day goes on like it always has before. The actual morning sickness feeling is the same as the other times - it's awfully familiar to me now. SO FAR, it is pretty mild as far as my morning sickness goes, though still horrible. I have only really had it for 2 or so days, and I think it could get worse so I don't want to say much more about it right now!
I am eating and drinking as best I can! Today it's going okay, and I even managed to make a roast chicken dinner and simultaneously make two shepherd's pies for the freezer - determined to fill it up, and I have the ingredients to use which were bought having no idea I would feel sick earlier than expected. Blech. Anyway, I felt grim but it went okay. I am eating okay though I don't want ANYTHING to eat at all, and I had to really force my aforementioned "delicious" tuna/egg/corn/cucumber/mayo sandwich down at lunch time. It made me feel really really gaggy and sick, and it was hard work to eat, so I don't think I will make that combo again until I am past the morning sickness. I feel gaggy easily, and actually do gag if I get a hair in my mouth, ugh. I try not to but it just happens anyway.
My biggest problem at this stage is usually fluids. All fluids are just horrid, and I can't take more than a tiny sip very very occasionally throughout the day or I feel dreadful for it and struggle to do anything with the boys even. I know that when it's at its worst, my best efforts only afford me about 250mls of fluids in a whole day :( Or 500mls on a good day. So I really hope that the pattern of my nausea stays the same - with a window of feeling okay in the morning, because then I can CRAM my fluids into that window, hopefully! :) This morning when I got up feeling fine, I had a drink of water, some cereal with milk on, and a glass of orange juice. After I started feeling sick, I haven't really had much to drink. Some more orange juice and a bit of water. 7UP went down okay, but only in small bits. Oh but I did have a rocket ice-lolly this evening! :) Bought a pack of 10 from Tesco, remembering that they really helped last time, and it really DID help! Until I finished, and then about 10 seconds later I felt just as yucky again. But that's fluids, so that's good!
Anyway. I will be VERY happy if this is the start of how it will be. If it stays this way, I will feel glad, because it's milder than I remember it. For that reason though, I'm suspicious that it will get worse as I get to the 6-week mark, when I normally start morning sickness. Ugh, I hope not! I feel sick enough already!
So what else?! Not much to report symptom-wise. Some soreness here and there in the breast department, but no problems with pain whilst breastfeeding at all yet, which is good! I'm getting an increasing "something's going on" feeling in the pit of my abdomen, which is hard to describe. I notice it especially when I lie on my side. It's like a fullness or pressure, but quite a subtle sensation. I feel like there's something "swollen" in there, which there absolutely IS! My womb! :)
My Tiny Pip's teeny tiny little heart started beating today!!!!! What a precious and wonderful milestone!! I am in awe that already there's a little heart beating away inside me! I can't wait to hear it. Last pregnancy was the earliest I heard any of my babies' heartbeats - Benjamin was just 8 weeks and 5 days when I heard his heartbeat on my doppler. I will probably start listening in around that kind of time this pregnancy. Only 3 and a bit weeks to go!!! :D
No bleeding yet. I know I shouldn't say "yet", but I can't help but wonder about it. It seems almost inevitable, but that is not a good mindset to have. I am praying that it WON'T happen this time, and I should be in faith about that, not thinking the opposite! I do check every time I go to the loo, but so far I haven't even had any spotting except incredibly light implantation spotting for a few days, which is on my chart.
Neil has told one of his sisters (not the one who is pregnant yet), and his brother. He tried to call his mum to tell her but she was on the phone and then our phone was tied up the rest of the evening with his phone calls to his brother and sister, so he hasn't had chance to tell her. I am beginning to be eager to spill the beans at Facebook so that the general world-at-large will know about the baby! I'm so excited and happy, and can't wait for everyone to know that this little tiny is HERE and to be celebrated! :) Neil's sisters are both on my Facebook so I can't say a thing there until all our family know (although it might not have been the wisest move to say I felt queasy yesterday! :S Didn't think first!). I still haven't told my grandparents and at the moment we are not planning on telling them for some time. They will be aghast and all worried for us and the boys. They were each an only child, and only had one child themselves (though they did want more, they just were unable to conceive after my daddy was born), and have just the two grandchildren, so this is just basically officially NUTS to them! ;) They don't think it's right, I think. So it will not be fun to tell them, and I want to put it off for a while.
Well as always I'm sure I've missed a load of stuff but I feel sick and it's getting late, and Benjamin is stirring for a feed so I will have to go. Back soon though! :)
So far I am a little bit apprehensive that this is just Gear One of morning sickness, and that when I reach my usual start time for morning sickness at the weekend, Gear Two will kick in and I'll be sicker than ever before, or something! :S I reeeeeeally hope not, but I'm a bit nervous about it! Right now I am somewhere between very queasy and nauseous all day except for the first part of the morning. It starts between 10 and 11am and is then THERE, pretty much just sitting yuckily, but it does get somewhat worse as the day goes on like it always has before. The actual morning sickness feeling is the same as the other times - it's awfully familiar to me now. SO FAR, it is pretty mild as far as my morning sickness goes, though still horrible. I have only really had it for 2 or so days, and I think it could get worse so I don't want to say much more about it right now!
I am eating and drinking as best I can! Today it's going okay, and I even managed to make a roast chicken dinner and simultaneously make two shepherd's pies for the freezer - determined to fill it up, and I have the ingredients to use which were bought having no idea I would feel sick earlier than expected. Blech. Anyway, I felt grim but it went okay. I am eating okay though I don't want ANYTHING to eat at all, and I had to really force my aforementioned "delicious" tuna/egg/corn/cucumber/mayo sandwich down at lunch time. It made me feel really really gaggy and sick, and it was hard work to eat, so I don't think I will make that combo again until I am past the morning sickness. I feel gaggy easily, and actually do gag if I get a hair in my mouth, ugh. I try not to but it just happens anyway.
My biggest problem at this stage is usually fluids. All fluids are just horrid, and I can't take more than a tiny sip very very occasionally throughout the day or I feel dreadful for it and struggle to do anything with the boys even. I know that when it's at its worst, my best efforts only afford me about 250mls of fluids in a whole day :( Or 500mls on a good day. So I really hope that the pattern of my nausea stays the same - with a window of feeling okay in the morning, because then I can CRAM my fluids into that window, hopefully! :) This morning when I got up feeling fine, I had a drink of water, some cereal with milk on, and a glass of orange juice. After I started feeling sick, I haven't really had much to drink. Some more orange juice and a bit of water. 7UP went down okay, but only in small bits. Oh but I did have a rocket ice-lolly this evening! :) Bought a pack of 10 from Tesco, remembering that they really helped last time, and it really DID help! Until I finished, and then about 10 seconds later I felt just as yucky again. But that's fluids, so that's good!
Anyway. I will be VERY happy if this is the start of how it will be. If it stays this way, I will feel glad, because it's milder than I remember it. For that reason though, I'm suspicious that it will get worse as I get to the 6-week mark, when I normally start morning sickness. Ugh, I hope not! I feel sick enough already!
So what else?! Not much to report symptom-wise. Some soreness here and there in the breast department, but no problems with pain whilst breastfeeding at all yet, which is good! I'm getting an increasing "something's going on" feeling in the pit of my abdomen, which is hard to describe. I notice it especially when I lie on my side. It's like a fullness or pressure, but quite a subtle sensation. I feel like there's something "swollen" in there, which there absolutely IS! My womb! :)
My Tiny Pip's teeny tiny little heart started beating today!!!!! What a precious and wonderful milestone!! I am in awe that already there's a little heart beating away inside me! I can't wait to hear it. Last pregnancy was the earliest I heard any of my babies' heartbeats - Benjamin was just 8 weeks and 5 days when I heard his heartbeat on my doppler. I will probably start listening in around that kind of time this pregnancy. Only 3 and a bit weeks to go!!! :D
No bleeding yet. I know I shouldn't say "yet", but I can't help but wonder about it. It seems almost inevitable, but that is not a good mindset to have. I am praying that it WON'T happen this time, and I should be in faith about that, not thinking the opposite! I do check every time I go to the loo, but so far I haven't even had any spotting except incredibly light implantation spotting for a few days, which is on my chart.
Neil has told one of his sisters (not the one who is pregnant yet), and his brother. He tried to call his mum to tell her but she was on the phone and then our phone was tied up the rest of the evening with his phone calls to his brother and sister, so he hasn't had chance to tell her. I am beginning to be eager to spill the beans at Facebook so that the general world-at-large will know about the baby! I'm so excited and happy, and can't wait for everyone to know that this little tiny is HERE and to be celebrated! :) Neil's sisters are both on my Facebook so I can't say a thing there until all our family know (although it might not have been the wisest move to say I felt queasy yesterday! :S Didn't think first!). I still haven't told my grandparents and at the moment we are not planning on telling them for some time. They will be aghast and all worried for us and the boys. They were each an only child, and only had one child themselves (though they did want more, they just were unable to conceive after my daddy was born), and have just the two grandchildren, so this is just basically officially NUTS to them! ;) They don't think it's right, I think. So it will not be fun to tell them, and I want to put it off for a while.
Well as always I'm sure I've missed a load of stuff but I feel sick and it's getting late, and Benjamin is stirring for a feed so I will have to go. Back soon though! :)
Monday, April 12, 2010
5 weeks pregnant! :)
Five weeks has arrived all of a sudden! One eighth of the way through my pregnancy already! ;) That's 21 days past ovulation, and my tiny is beginning Carnegie Stage 10 of embryonic development, which goes from 21DPO to 23DPO. Can you believe that at 23DPO (just the day after tomorrow!!!!) a teensy tiny little S-shaped tube inside my new tiny person will fuse and begin to beat - the rudimentary heart!! Amaaaaazing, so early. I can't wait till I'm at that stage to put my hand over where Tiny Pip is (oooh that was spontaneous - even the capitals, I touch-type fast straight from the thoughts forming in my head - but doesn't that look like an official nickname?!?!) and know that there's a little weeny heart beating in there! :)
Five weeks is also supposed to be my first belly picture day! Now THAT feels very surreal and weird, because when I realised it today, I just thought, "What?! But, but... I only just conceived, surely?!" and it really does feel that early! But I always take a 5 week belly pic as a "before" photo. I like to keep it the same stage each pregnancy, so I guess I should get a belly picture in the next couple of days! How surreal! :)
Five weeks also heralds morning sickness, for me. Well, not till later in the week, but before I get to 6 weeks anyway. I start morning sickness at 5 weeks and 6 days. Except hmmm, today is the first day when I really haven't fancied anything to eat at all, and biting my nails (naughty!) has felt a bit yeurghy, just ever so slightly. After mid-afternoon or so, I have been aware of an ever-so-slightly queasy feel just hanging around at all times. A good analogy is motion sickness - did you ever get car sick? At first all is well. Then you start to feel just a tad "off", and suddenly the car doesn't smell so nice, and you feel a little internally restless. Then you progress to mild queasiness, more from the car smell than anything else. And obviously, queasy moves on to plain old nausea, and that just gets more and more horrible. Well the horriblest nausea right before you throw up is my typical morning sickness sensation (Constant. All day. And night, some pregnancies.), and this morning I felt that sort of "the car doesn't smell so nice..." sense that turned into queasiness. So I think I'm on my way to feeling proper morning sick in the next few days maybe? Or can I (naively?!) hope that just maybe it will stay this mild for the long haul?! Hmm, probably not. But here's hoping. I just hope it doesn't get worse than my previous experiences, because the very next level is puking, and I reeeeally don't want to progress to puking. No no no.
I only have 3 meals in the freezer!! I have ingredients today for at least 4 more meals, but still I am not going to stock up the freezer enough in time, urgh. One GREAT thing is that Neil is at home so he will be able to help out with making or assembling dinner a lot of the time. Phew, what a blessing that will be! I'm apprehensive and unexpectedly nervous about impending morning sickness. It really does just feel SO AWFUL, and it seems like there is no end in sight once it starts, because it goes on so long and is so all-consuming.
BUT, it will be wonderful reassurance, especially if I do start bleeding (my usual window begins any time from now :( ), to feel yucky and sick all the time. I will have hope that my Tiny Pip is okay in there despite bleeding and cramping, while I wait for a scan. Now that I am 5 weeks pregnant, I am absentmindedly going to check my underwear much more often throughout the day. I just have a familiarity with needing to at this stage, I guess. I'm nervous about it! I hate seeing blood when pregnant! Hopefully it won't happen, but I guess I am as prepared as I can be if it does.
What other randomness? I haven't really been feeling very pregnant till this queasiness today. No particular symptoms to report. Oh but I am SO exhausted all the time, which is pregnant of me. Neil wondered the other day if my skin was less soft, and that worried us both, but it seems back to it's normal pregnant softness again. I finished charting! My last temp at 18DPO was nice and high (37.0) which was a nice one to finish my 5th pregnant chart on! :) Also I took my last test the same morning which was reassuringly darker than the one from 16DPO :) I took a photo of it and sent it via email to Heather, who was my lovely doula with Benjamin. She didn't get it, hehe! So I emailed back telling her it was a pregnancy test - mine! :) She is excited and so am I because I know she doesn't work in December (boohoo!) but when she found out my news, she asked if I wanted a doula, and if I had anyone in mind. She said that she doesn't normally work in December but she could be persuaded to make an exception!!!! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay! :D Of course I responded with, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?! OF COURSE I WANT YOU TO BE MY DOULA!! WE LOVE YOU!!!" or something calm and appreciative like that! ;)
Neil still hasn't told his side of the family. He seems a bit nervous about it for some reason. I asked why, and he said maybe he just felt that they didn't have a problem with 4 kids (he's one of 4) but that they might with 5 or more. Hmmm. Also Neil's littlest sister is pregnant, which is recent news as she didn't know herself until near the end of her first trimester. Big shock to the family. She is not in a relationship, is in great debt and is still very young. I had noooo idea she would ever get herself into this kind of situation, and we are currently praying about how we can best support her. She is due in September. So he hasn't told our news yet.
What other randomness can I write before I am forced to go to bed?! I'm just so tired. Things start to look faded and white to my eyes when I am feeling this tired. I really should not be online at all this evening! :S I should get an early night instead. I'm a sucker for wanting to keep my pregnancy record updated!
I got iceburg lettuce and cottage cheese. Those things usually help when I feel yucky.
Oh! I have had two more baby related dreams - really vivid ones again! Though, all my dreams are vivid these days, being pregnant and all. My first baby dream was only a couple of days after this baby was conceived - I think I already wrote about it here - and the baby was a boy. I have had two dreams over the last night or so. I can't remember the content but the baby was a boy both times. I have no idea whether it's just my obvious default, having 4 boys and 0 girls already (ha!) or if that means something! Add that to Nicola's boy dream for me, and well, who knows! ;) I have to admit, if it really ISN'T the twin scenario that I've hung onto and wondered about all this time (over 2 years now) from when God told me clearly that Benjamin would be the next baby (he was! :) ), then I TOTALLY TOTALLY TOTALLY expect to be carrying another baby boy. I just can't fathom a girl baby in there at all! But I can completely see another little boy when I watch my four boys playing together, or see a photo of them sitting in a line. I can totally see a fifth boy in that line, almost as if he's there in the picture, sort of. So I will be 100% expecting that outcome if it's a single baby in there! That will be wonderful, and I already have 3 names that I love, and others that I'd consider. I don't know if Neil goes for them though, so that might make it tricky! Girl names - well, obviously there are zillions out there and we have never used one, but somehow I think we'll have a difficult time agreeing on one all the same! I know what my two favourites are if it's twin girls! :)
Okay, feeling a bit yeurghy and tired out so I must go to bed. I'm sure there's plenty that I missed, but I will try to update again this week.
Five weeks is also supposed to be my first belly picture day! Now THAT feels very surreal and weird, because when I realised it today, I just thought, "What?! But, but... I only just conceived, surely?!" and it really does feel that early! But I always take a 5 week belly pic as a "before" photo. I like to keep it the same stage each pregnancy, so I guess I should get a belly picture in the next couple of days! How surreal! :)
Five weeks also heralds morning sickness, for me. Well, not till later in the week, but before I get to 6 weeks anyway. I start morning sickness at 5 weeks and 6 days. Except hmmm, today is the first day when I really haven't fancied anything to eat at all, and biting my nails (naughty!) has felt a bit yeurghy, just ever so slightly. After mid-afternoon or so, I have been aware of an ever-so-slightly queasy feel just hanging around at all times. A good analogy is motion sickness - did you ever get car sick? At first all is well. Then you start to feel just a tad "off", and suddenly the car doesn't smell so nice, and you feel a little internally restless. Then you progress to mild queasiness, more from the car smell than anything else. And obviously, queasy moves on to plain old nausea, and that just gets more and more horrible. Well the horriblest nausea right before you throw up is my typical morning sickness sensation (Constant. All day. And night, some pregnancies.), and this morning I felt that sort of "the car doesn't smell so nice..." sense that turned into queasiness. So I think I'm on my way to feeling proper morning sick in the next few days maybe? Or can I (naively?!) hope that just maybe it will stay this mild for the long haul?! Hmm, probably not. But here's hoping. I just hope it doesn't get worse than my previous experiences, because the very next level is puking, and I reeeeally don't want to progress to puking. No no no.
I only have 3 meals in the freezer!! I have ingredients today for at least 4 more meals, but still I am not going to stock up the freezer enough in time, urgh. One GREAT thing is that Neil is at home so he will be able to help out with making or assembling dinner a lot of the time. Phew, what a blessing that will be! I'm apprehensive and unexpectedly nervous about impending morning sickness. It really does just feel SO AWFUL, and it seems like there is no end in sight once it starts, because it goes on so long and is so all-consuming.
BUT, it will be wonderful reassurance, especially if I do start bleeding (my usual window begins any time from now :( ), to feel yucky and sick all the time. I will have hope that my Tiny Pip is okay in there despite bleeding and cramping, while I wait for a scan. Now that I am 5 weeks pregnant, I am absentmindedly going to check my underwear much more often throughout the day. I just have a familiarity with needing to at this stage, I guess. I'm nervous about it! I hate seeing blood when pregnant! Hopefully it won't happen, but I guess I am as prepared as I can be if it does.
What other randomness? I haven't really been feeling very pregnant till this queasiness today. No particular symptoms to report. Oh but I am SO exhausted all the time, which is pregnant of me. Neil wondered the other day if my skin was less soft, and that worried us both, but it seems back to it's normal pregnant softness again. I finished charting! My last temp at 18DPO was nice and high (37.0) which was a nice one to finish my 5th pregnant chart on! :) Also I took my last test the same morning which was reassuringly darker than the one from 16DPO :) I took a photo of it and sent it via email to Heather, who was my lovely doula with Benjamin. She didn't get it, hehe! So I emailed back telling her it was a pregnancy test - mine! :) She is excited and so am I because I know she doesn't work in December (boohoo!) but when she found out my news, she asked if I wanted a doula, and if I had anyone in mind. She said that she doesn't normally work in December but she could be persuaded to make an exception!!!! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay! :D Of course I responded with, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?! OF COURSE I WANT YOU TO BE MY DOULA!! WE LOVE YOU!!!" or something calm and appreciative like that! ;)
Neil still hasn't told his side of the family. He seems a bit nervous about it for some reason. I asked why, and he said maybe he just felt that they didn't have a problem with 4 kids (he's one of 4) but that they might with 5 or more. Hmmm. Also Neil's littlest sister is pregnant, which is recent news as she didn't know herself until near the end of her first trimester. Big shock to the family. She is not in a relationship, is in great debt and is still very young. I had noooo idea she would ever get herself into this kind of situation, and we are currently praying about how we can best support her. She is due in September. So he hasn't told our news yet.
What other randomness can I write before I am forced to go to bed?! I'm just so tired. Things start to look faded and white to my eyes when I am feeling this tired. I really should not be online at all this evening! :S I should get an early night instead. I'm a sucker for wanting to keep my pregnancy record updated!
I got iceburg lettuce and cottage cheese. Those things usually help when I feel yucky.
Oh! I have had two more baby related dreams - really vivid ones again! Though, all my dreams are vivid these days, being pregnant and all. My first baby dream was only a couple of days after this baby was conceived - I think I already wrote about it here - and the baby was a boy. I have had two dreams over the last night or so. I can't remember the content but the baby was a boy both times. I have no idea whether it's just my obvious default, having 4 boys and 0 girls already (ha!) or if that means something! Add that to Nicola's boy dream for me, and well, who knows! ;) I have to admit, if it really ISN'T the twin scenario that I've hung onto and wondered about all this time (over 2 years now) from when God told me clearly that Benjamin would be the next baby (he was! :) ), then I TOTALLY TOTALLY TOTALLY expect to be carrying another baby boy. I just can't fathom a girl baby in there at all! But I can completely see another little boy when I watch my four boys playing together, or see a photo of them sitting in a line. I can totally see a fifth boy in that line, almost as if he's there in the picture, sort of. So I will be 100% expecting that outcome if it's a single baby in there! That will be wonderful, and I already have 3 names that I love, and others that I'd consider. I don't know if Neil goes for them though, so that might make it tricky! Girl names - well, obviously there are zillions out there and we have never used one, but somehow I think we'll have a difficult time agreeing on one all the same! I know what my two favourites are if it's twin girls! :)
Okay, feeling a bit yeurghy and tired out so I must go to bed. I'm sure there's plenty that I missed, but I will try to update again this week.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
4 weeks, 3 days
I haven't updated for a few days so I thought I had better do so! :) Thanks for the lovely congrats to people who are still finding out! I am really eager to blab, uh, REVEAL at Facebook, but it seems a bit early still! I am not sure how to do that when the time comes. I'm wondering about being a bit cryptic...
Anyway! Today I am 17DPO, which means that tomorrow is the last day I will temp and I will also take my last pregnancy test in the morning too. I will actually miss that part! But 18DPO is a well established pregnancy and it's exciting to move on from there! :) My temps are a little bit rocky, but basically still staying between 36.7 and 36.9 - still nice and "up there", which is good! Yesterday at 16DPO I took another pregnancy test. It does look a bit darker than the 14DPO one, but once it faded to the same degree as the older ones, it really doesn't look much darker at all. I should post a photo so it's clear what I'm on about! I'll do that with the whole lot after I've taken my last one tomorrow. I hope tomorrow's is darker. I like to see them getting darker, and they ARE but just not as much as I'd thought they would. The difference with yesterday's is that the line was visible pretty much immediately, instead of within the first minute (or 30 seconds) at 14DPO, and a bit longer before that, etc.
I told my brother that I'm pregnant yesterday! :) It was fun. He's always so neutral and congratulatory, and that's so refreshing to me. He was commenting (on the phone) on how, when we all get together in July for Grandoug's birthday (85th!!), the great-grandchildren will be 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 (well, a few days later!) and 0 (5 months)! I then pointed out that we'd be adding another next year since there's one due in December! ;) He said, "What?!... Really?!!" and then said congratulations and so on. He was very sweet and said that if I do have a heavy bleed this pregnancy and need any sort of help - with the boys, a lift to the hospital, etc - then I must call him and he'd help. He is working from home at the moment so would be available. Lovely brother! He was wonderful during Nathan's pregnancy when I bled heavily.
Speaking of which, I am beginning to feel a little bit apprehensive as I approach the 5 week mark. Any time between 5 and 7 weeks is when I tend to have a bleed, and I so so so hate to see blood during pregnancy, especially at the "typical" stage for most miscarriages to occur. For me, it isn't that thing where some women get a sort of light period around the time the usually would if they weren't pregnant. I just tend to get bleeds from the placental site around that kind of stage (and later, apparently, as I found out with Nathan's pregnancy). I am just REALLY hoping that I don't have to go through that this time. Somehow! Because I usually do. And I was thinking yesterday, it IS slightly reassuring to know that I have had healthy pregnancies with lots of bleeding before, but at each new occasion, it's not really all that reassuring. Because yes, I have had 4 healthy pregnancies. Yes, I have had bleeding each time. But that doesn't mean that just because I've had that experience that THIS time is going to be the same, you know? What if I were to have a proper miscarriage? I bet that would start with spotting or bleeding, just the same as the bleeds I'm used to do. So really, even though I'm accustomed to it, it still could be either possibility at the time. I'm nervous. And just praying that I will stop being so.
Yesterday I went to my GP to "book in" with my new pregnancy! Yay! That was fun! :) I love those appointments! I lied about the first day of my last menstrual period, as I finally learnt to after my second pregnancy, since *I* know when I ovulated, and they won't hear it that I ovulated any day but CD14! *sigh* So I just count back 14 days from the day I ovulated, and call THAT the first day of my last menstrual period! ;) Works out much better because then I don't get, "Ohhh, baby is measuring almost a week behind... Are you sure of your dates?" at the nerve-wracking early scans when I'm bleeding, or "We're going to change your (YOUR!) dates because baby is clearly measuring 5 days out (which *I* tried to tell them it would from the start! Tsk!)." etc. I also like it when I go to the doctor to book in, and tell her my LMP was 8th of March (it was the 4th), and she fiddles with the cardboard wheel thingy and says fondly, "You have a due date of December 13th!" - exactly when I KNEW I was due, hehe! ;)
So, that's done! I had to do the usual thing of giving all the dates and details of my other births - where, when, which boy, their birth weight, any complications, etc. She was impressed that I had all four boys' stuff on the tip of my tongue to tell her, but I told her that it's my LIFE! These are my vital stats! ;) Of course I have them right to hand :) I always LOVE recounting those details for this kind of thing. I just realised she didn't weigh me or take a baseline blood pressure, but the midwife will do that I think - not weigh me, but the blood pressure, when I see her. I don't know when that will be. Probably not till after my first trimester, though I think it was around 8 weeks last time, which felt REALLY early! In the past it has been 16 weeks that I first saw the midwife, which felt really late to me!
My recent smear test was fine, which is a relief, because they will not do one on a pregnant woman, at any stage of pregnancy. I was hoping it was okay! The doctor went to fill out a form for maternity exemption (from paying for prescription medicines) but I still have maternity exemption from Benjamin up until July. I have to remember to drop a reminder at the surgery in June-ish and she'll start my new one so that I don't have a gap between Benjamin's and the one from this pregnancy. I haven't had a gap in maternity exemption since February 2004! It's for the duration of pregnancy and a year after the baby is born. I really must get my dental check-up, which is also free with my maternity exemption card.
I mentioned to the doctor that I usually bleed in early pregnancy, and she said that she was sort of expecting to see me again in a couple of weeks for that very reason!! :S She was very reassuring and said that if I get ANY bleeding or bothersome spotting, I should make an appointment with her straight away and she would refer me for a scan for reassurance. Phew. But I do hope I don't. I love having the opportunity to see my tiny one an extra time, nice and early, and I guess this time it would be exciting to find out earlier than 12 weeks if I have more than one in there (or not), but I would still MUCH rather not bleed and wait till 12 weeks!
The last few days have felt much more "back to normal". The excitement is wearing off a little - I mean, there's PERMANENT excitement! :) But you know, that initial high where I absolutely cannot concentrate on another thing for even a few milliseconds! And it's seeming a little more surreal now that it's settling back down to normal life again. I forget that I'm pregnant occasionally (not often, mind you!), or when I have chance to sit down and remember, I feel surprised that I haven't been feeling more pregnant. It's early days for me though. Six weeks will be a whoooooole 'nother ball game, and that's only 11 days away.
I have the distinct feeling that this pregnancy is going to FLASH by. I sense that it's going to be the fastest one yet. They all go by faster with each successive pregnancy. That's just how it works, I think. You're always surprised with the second pregnancy at how FAST it goes compared with your first! Which, looking back, is absolutely snail pace compared with pregnancy #4, even though it felt fast at the time. And I think #5 might go faster still. That's bittersweet, because I love being pregnant and want to cherish each moment of such a blessing! But I WILL be so glad for morning sickness to pass by quickly. How those weeks dragged forever when it was the first pregnancy! It actually felt torturous at the time!
I have started the freezer cooking so that I'll have some good stocks of meals in the freezer for when I feel too green to even look at food, let alone prepare it! So far I have started with a double batch of spaghetti bolognese sauce and a lamb and bean hotpot. I made chicken stock so that I can do a double batch of turkey casserole overnight tonight in the crockpot, and I'll do a double batch of shepherd's pie tomorrow. That's all the meat I bought this week. I will buy more ingredients at the next Tesco order (we order our shopping to be delivered, for obvious reasons, haha!) and continue. More spag bol would be good as we eat that every week, and another lamb hotpot. I have had to make that without garlic though, as I know I won't deal with garlic in a couple of weeks.
My sense of smell is really strong right now. Yucky smells are AWFUL! But not stomach turning. Just awful! I was out on the driveway this afternoon and caught a whiff of fast food from the main road a way off, and oh my goodness how I wanted some!!! It smelt absolutely heavenly! I remember this specific one from at least 2 other pregnancies, hehe! ;)
I am very hungry, and still just want TONS of protein. I am not much interested in sweet food at all, and want lots of healthy food right now. Yesterday I discovered a sandwich filling that tasted INCREDIBLE to me - perhaps it IS incredible, or maybe it's just my pregnant taste buds right now?! Tuna, chopped boiled egg, sweetcorn, and chopped cucumber, mixed together with a dollop of mayonnaise. I could only fit half of it in my sandwich (it was sooooooo good!!!) and ate the rest with a spoon! Mmmm! I am looking for more protein options. I eat eggs every day at the moment because I just want the protein and I like the taste. I can't eat more than a couple of tins of tuna a week while I'm pregnant, so other days I just have eggs and beans on toast and cover the whole lot with cheese, hehe! Yummy, but STILL leaves me hankering for protein. This is a new thing for me which I haven't experienced in my other pregnancies. New things are interesting and fun! :)
Another new thing is a really sore bruisey feeling very low down around my pubic bone. I even feel it underneath, almost like cystitis or something, but it's not. I can't even place where it's sourced. Last night it was really uncomfortable, but tonight it's a lot better. I am also having the usual mini twinges and ligament pulls. I had my first proper (though tiny still!) round ligament pain getting up from my bed this morning with a twist of my body. Ow! But nice and familiar, so it made me smile! :)
I am not really peeing all that frequently for some reason, although I really really need to go first thing when I wake up. I was so glad I wasn't having to save it up a bit longer for a test this morning, and I'm not sure how I'll accomplish that tomorrow! But not actually peeing more frequently really, at the moment. Not much breast discomfort either, though I do have some painful twinges now and then. My milk supply is normal at the moment.
I'm more tired than usual still - definitely pregnant tired rather than just tired tired. I could sooooo take a nap every day. I'm blessed that Neil lets me lie-in till 8.30 or so (the boys are up a couple of hours before that) because I don't know how I'd manage without that otherwise at the moment! I get breathless easily and my muscles tend to feel more tired after nothing much at all.
I know it's taken me five pregnancies to finally come round on this (!), but I really want to be more healthy this pregnancy. I want to exercise (I NEVER do, can't remember when I last did. Years, I think?) daily, and I want to eat more healthily than I usually do when I'm pregnant. I also want to slightly duck when I say this (since I've been such a BIG ranter about the subject all my other pregnancies, haha!) but I think I would like to NOT gain so much weight as I usually do. I am NOT a fan of weight-obsessiveness during pregnancy, which like the WHOLE WORLD is! Tsk! Not healthy, ladies! Pregnancy = weight gain = normal! You're MEANT to lay down LOTS of fat supplies for breastfeeding. You actually need to gain fat, and not a small amount of it either!
The thing is though, I gain 55lbs per pregnancy. That's 4 stone folks. That's a lot of weight! Before my first pregnancy I was 7 stone 10lbs. Too light actually, and I was seeing a dietitian for a while because I could not for the life of me put weight on. But anyway, pregnancy fixed that! ;) And before Matthew was conceived I was back down to 8 stone 5lbs, I think? GOOD weight for me. I did not want to get back down to 8 stone or less again. But then I got pregnant with Nathan and gained a truckload again. I went back down to 9 stone 2lbs, I think? Not sure of the exact lbs, but I think it was 9st 2. Then I gained the usual with Benjamin, ending up above 13 stone!!! Yikers! I am a petite build, so that's a LOT for me, and not natural at all for me to carry that much about. So I am now pregnant again 8 months later and last time I weighed myself I had juuuust tipped under 10 stone for the first time, but only by a lb I think, so let's call it 10 stone exactly. Yeeks. I do NOT want to end up 14 stone this pregnancy. I really think it will make me very uncomfortable and probably struggle more carrying the pregnancy, maybe bother my blood pressure at the very end, and so on.
I reeeeally want to gain less. I think I can do that by exercising, and also by NOT stuffing my face continually with chocolate in the evenings! But that last one will be verrrry hard, and I'm not convinced I can do it. The pull is so strong, especially when I'm hungry and craving chocolate! I love that so far I really want large quantities of savoury healthy foods. Right now when I make myself a meal I usually have half the plate covered with vegetables, because that's what I want - lots of veg! And I have been eating raw veg this evening - cauliflower, carrots and broccoli. I really like those veg raw so will probably eat snacks of them regularly. Thing is, once I start feeling sick, it will all go out of the window, and then anything that I can actually ingest will do, because otherwise it's a nightmare. You have to go with what you can stomach. AFTER the morning sickness the sugary cravings usually kick in. And those are really really really really hard to resist! I am also incredibly useless on the willpower front - always have been - so I'm not sure I'll do so well.... I DO want to exercise though!
A month or so ago I went to the doctor because my abs are still separated and I wanted to know what she thought about it. They were just over THREE fingerwidths apart at the widest part (my belly button area), which is proper abdominal separation. I was worried it would never go back! And the doctor wasn't reassuring - she said that's what comes with many pregnancies very close together, and they probably would never really go back! I asked if there were any exercises I could do, but she didn't really know. I googled and found a YouTube video by a Pilates instructor (there was SO much conflicting advice when I googled generally - and some of it looked authentic and good, but was actually POOR advice which could cause the abs to separate even more!!). It's a bunch of stretches and gentle muscle toning exercises. Good for poor separated abs after childbirth, and also for a complete novice to exercise like me! So I have been doing those faithfully every night before bed for 3 weeks, and guess what?! My abs are now just over 2 fingerwidths apart! :) It's working!!! But I'm not sure how long I can do those safely if I'm pregnant again. I want to add to that kind of exercise, just other parts of the body and not just the abs, and also general fitness. I am utterly utterly unfit, except for mothering-related fitness (weight lifting, etc, hehe!), so today I just did some bicep and tricep exercises (gentle!), the Pilates abs ones, and some stretches, and then decided to march (not jog - would DIE if I jogged, lol!) on the spot for 5 minutes and see how I got on. Sounds a bit daft, I know! ;) And I felt a bit of a sausage, but I marched away at a fast pace and worked up a good heartrate and was breathing hard by the end of it. Then I felt great for the little bit of exercise I'd done, so I jogged on the spot for a minute, and was KNACKERED but felt even better! :) I really need to start slow because of my total lack of fitness though. I think I'll try that simple routine every day for a bit, and meanwhile maybe look out a low impact pregnancy aerobics DVD to start in a few weeks if I feel able.
Okay this is getting really waffly, so I'll stop now! It's getting late as well. Baby tiny has already finished Carnegie Stage 7 of Embryonic Development, and is starting Stage 8. Finally visible to the human eye at 1mm long!! :) This is when I started calling Benjamin, "Babydot" because he was just a little dot of a baby back then :) I still haven't settled on a baby name for this little one, though I use various cutesy nicknames frequently. I'm happy doing that for now, so that's okay. I'm sure one or two will stick soon! My littlest one is now pear-shaped, has blood cells already developed, and is working on the beginnings of the nervous system (the neural groove). Exciting!!! :D This stage only lasts until 19DPO and the next stage starts the same day and will probably pass very quickly. Embryonic development is incredibly speedy and miraculous! I'm so amazed at what's going on inside my body at this very moment. It's almost too brain-boggling to comprehend when you cast your eye down at the zip of your jeans!
Will update again soon! :)
Anyway! Today I am 17DPO, which means that tomorrow is the last day I will temp and I will also take my last pregnancy test in the morning too. I will actually miss that part! But 18DPO is a well established pregnancy and it's exciting to move on from there! :) My temps are a little bit rocky, but basically still staying between 36.7 and 36.9 - still nice and "up there", which is good! Yesterday at 16DPO I took another pregnancy test. It does look a bit darker than the 14DPO one, but once it faded to the same degree as the older ones, it really doesn't look much darker at all. I should post a photo so it's clear what I'm on about! I'll do that with the whole lot after I've taken my last one tomorrow. I hope tomorrow's is darker. I like to see them getting darker, and they ARE but just not as much as I'd thought they would. The difference with yesterday's is that the line was visible pretty much immediately, instead of within the first minute (or 30 seconds) at 14DPO, and a bit longer before that, etc.
I told my brother that I'm pregnant yesterday! :) It was fun. He's always so neutral and congratulatory, and that's so refreshing to me. He was commenting (on the phone) on how, when we all get together in July for Grandoug's birthday (85th!!), the great-grandchildren will be 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 (well, a few days later!) and 0 (5 months)! I then pointed out that we'd be adding another next year since there's one due in December! ;) He said, "What?!... Really?!!" and then said congratulations and so on. He was very sweet and said that if I do have a heavy bleed this pregnancy and need any sort of help - with the boys, a lift to the hospital, etc - then I must call him and he'd help. He is working from home at the moment so would be available. Lovely brother! He was wonderful during Nathan's pregnancy when I bled heavily.
Speaking of which, I am beginning to feel a little bit apprehensive as I approach the 5 week mark. Any time between 5 and 7 weeks is when I tend to have a bleed, and I so so so hate to see blood during pregnancy, especially at the "typical" stage for most miscarriages to occur. For me, it isn't that thing where some women get a sort of light period around the time the usually would if they weren't pregnant. I just tend to get bleeds from the placental site around that kind of stage (and later, apparently, as I found out with Nathan's pregnancy). I am just REALLY hoping that I don't have to go through that this time. Somehow! Because I usually do. And I was thinking yesterday, it IS slightly reassuring to know that I have had healthy pregnancies with lots of bleeding before, but at each new occasion, it's not really all that reassuring. Because yes, I have had 4 healthy pregnancies. Yes, I have had bleeding each time. But that doesn't mean that just because I've had that experience that THIS time is going to be the same, you know? What if I were to have a proper miscarriage? I bet that would start with spotting or bleeding, just the same as the bleeds I'm used to do. So really, even though I'm accustomed to it, it still could be either possibility at the time. I'm nervous. And just praying that I will stop being so.
Yesterday I went to my GP to "book in" with my new pregnancy! Yay! That was fun! :) I love those appointments! I lied about the first day of my last menstrual period, as I finally learnt to after my second pregnancy, since *I* know when I ovulated, and they won't hear it that I ovulated any day but CD14! *sigh* So I just count back 14 days from the day I ovulated, and call THAT the first day of my last menstrual period! ;) Works out much better because then I don't get, "Ohhh, baby is measuring almost a week behind... Are you sure of your dates?" at the nerve-wracking early scans when I'm bleeding, or "We're going to change your (YOUR!) dates because baby is clearly measuring 5 days out (which *I* tried to tell them it would from the start! Tsk!)." etc. I also like it when I go to the doctor to book in, and tell her my LMP was 8th of March (it was the 4th), and she fiddles with the cardboard wheel thingy and says fondly, "You have a due date of December 13th!" - exactly when I KNEW I was due, hehe! ;)
So, that's done! I had to do the usual thing of giving all the dates and details of my other births - where, when, which boy, their birth weight, any complications, etc. She was impressed that I had all four boys' stuff on the tip of my tongue to tell her, but I told her that it's my LIFE! These are my vital stats! ;) Of course I have them right to hand :) I always LOVE recounting those details for this kind of thing. I just realised she didn't weigh me or take a baseline blood pressure, but the midwife will do that I think - not weigh me, but the blood pressure, when I see her. I don't know when that will be. Probably not till after my first trimester, though I think it was around 8 weeks last time, which felt REALLY early! In the past it has been 16 weeks that I first saw the midwife, which felt really late to me!
My recent smear test was fine, which is a relief, because they will not do one on a pregnant woman, at any stage of pregnancy. I was hoping it was okay! The doctor went to fill out a form for maternity exemption (from paying for prescription medicines) but I still have maternity exemption from Benjamin up until July. I have to remember to drop a reminder at the surgery in June-ish and she'll start my new one so that I don't have a gap between Benjamin's and the one from this pregnancy. I haven't had a gap in maternity exemption since February 2004! It's for the duration of pregnancy and a year after the baby is born. I really must get my dental check-up, which is also free with my maternity exemption card.
I mentioned to the doctor that I usually bleed in early pregnancy, and she said that she was sort of expecting to see me again in a couple of weeks for that very reason!! :S She was very reassuring and said that if I get ANY bleeding or bothersome spotting, I should make an appointment with her straight away and she would refer me for a scan for reassurance. Phew. But I do hope I don't. I love having the opportunity to see my tiny one an extra time, nice and early, and I guess this time it would be exciting to find out earlier than 12 weeks if I have more than one in there (or not), but I would still MUCH rather not bleed and wait till 12 weeks!
The last few days have felt much more "back to normal". The excitement is wearing off a little - I mean, there's PERMANENT excitement! :) But you know, that initial high where I absolutely cannot concentrate on another thing for even a few milliseconds! And it's seeming a little more surreal now that it's settling back down to normal life again. I forget that I'm pregnant occasionally (not often, mind you!), or when I have chance to sit down and remember, I feel surprised that I haven't been feeling more pregnant. It's early days for me though. Six weeks will be a whoooooole 'nother ball game, and that's only 11 days away.
I have the distinct feeling that this pregnancy is going to FLASH by. I sense that it's going to be the fastest one yet. They all go by faster with each successive pregnancy. That's just how it works, I think. You're always surprised with the second pregnancy at how FAST it goes compared with your first! Which, looking back, is absolutely snail pace compared with pregnancy #4, even though it felt fast at the time. And I think #5 might go faster still. That's bittersweet, because I love being pregnant and want to cherish each moment of such a blessing! But I WILL be so glad for morning sickness to pass by quickly. How those weeks dragged forever when it was the first pregnancy! It actually felt torturous at the time!
I have started the freezer cooking so that I'll have some good stocks of meals in the freezer for when I feel too green to even look at food, let alone prepare it! So far I have started with a double batch of spaghetti bolognese sauce and a lamb and bean hotpot. I made chicken stock so that I can do a double batch of turkey casserole overnight tonight in the crockpot, and I'll do a double batch of shepherd's pie tomorrow. That's all the meat I bought this week. I will buy more ingredients at the next Tesco order (we order our shopping to be delivered, for obvious reasons, haha!) and continue. More spag bol would be good as we eat that every week, and another lamb hotpot. I have had to make that without garlic though, as I know I won't deal with garlic in a couple of weeks.
My sense of smell is really strong right now. Yucky smells are AWFUL! But not stomach turning. Just awful! I was out on the driveway this afternoon and caught a whiff of fast food from the main road a way off, and oh my goodness how I wanted some!!! It smelt absolutely heavenly! I remember this specific one from at least 2 other pregnancies, hehe! ;)
I am very hungry, and still just want TONS of protein. I am not much interested in sweet food at all, and want lots of healthy food right now. Yesterday I discovered a sandwich filling that tasted INCREDIBLE to me - perhaps it IS incredible, or maybe it's just my pregnant taste buds right now?! Tuna, chopped boiled egg, sweetcorn, and chopped cucumber, mixed together with a dollop of mayonnaise. I could only fit half of it in my sandwich (it was sooooooo good!!!) and ate the rest with a spoon! Mmmm! I am looking for more protein options. I eat eggs every day at the moment because I just want the protein and I like the taste. I can't eat more than a couple of tins of tuna a week while I'm pregnant, so other days I just have eggs and beans on toast and cover the whole lot with cheese, hehe! Yummy, but STILL leaves me hankering for protein. This is a new thing for me which I haven't experienced in my other pregnancies. New things are interesting and fun! :)
Another new thing is a really sore bruisey feeling very low down around my pubic bone. I even feel it underneath, almost like cystitis or something, but it's not. I can't even place where it's sourced. Last night it was really uncomfortable, but tonight it's a lot better. I am also having the usual mini twinges and ligament pulls. I had my first proper (though tiny still!) round ligament pain getting up from my bed this morning with a twist of my body. Ow! But nice and familiar, so it made me smile! :)
I am not really peeing all that frequently for some reason, although I really really need to go first thing when I wake up. I was so glad I wasn't having to save it up a bit longer for a test this morning, and I'm not sure how I'll accomplish that tomorrow! But not actually peeing more frequently really, at the moment. Not much breast discomfort either, though I do have some painful twinges now and then. My milk supply is normal at the moment.
I'm more tired than usual still - definitely pregnant tired rather than just tired tired. I could sooooo take a nap every day. I'm blessed that Neil lets me lie-in till 8.30 or so (the boys are up a couple of hours before that) because I don't know how I'd manage without that otherwise at the moment! I get breathless easily and my muscles tend to feel more tired after nothing much at all.
I know it's taken me five pregnancies to finally come round on this (!), but I really want to be more healthy this pregnancy. I want to exercise (I NEVER do, can't remember when I last did. Years, I think?) daily, and I want to eat more healthily than I usually do when I'm pregnant. I also want to slightly duck when I say this (since I've been such a BIG ranter about the subject all my other pregnancies, haha!) but I think I would like to NOT gain so much weight as I usually do. I am NOT a fan of weight-obsessiveness during pregnancy, which like the WHOLE WORLD is! Tsk! Not healthy, ladies! Pregnancy = weight gain = normal! You're MEANT to lay down LOTS of fat supplies for breastfeeding. You actually need to gain fat, and not a small amount of it either!
The thing is though, I gain 55lbs per pregnancy. That's 4 stone folks. That's a lot of weight! Before my first pregnancy I was 7 stone 10lbs. Too light actually, and I was seeing a dietitian for a while because I could not for the life of me put weight on. But anyway, pregnancy fixed that! ;) And before Matthew was conceived I was back down to 8 stone 5lbs, I think? GOOD weight for me. I did not want to get back down to 8 stone or less again. But then I got pregnant with Nathan and gained a truckload again. I went back down to 9 stone 2lbs, I think? Not sure of the exact lbs, but I think it was 9st 2. Then I gained the usual with Benjamin, ending up above 13 stone!!! Yikers! I am a petite build, so that's a LOT for me, and not natural at all for me to carry that much about. So I am now pregnant again 8 months later and last time I weighed myself I had juuuust tipped under 10 stone for the first time, but only by a lb I think, so let's call it 10 stone exactly. Yeeks. I do NOT want to end up 14 stone this pregnancy. I really think it will make me very uncomfortable and probably struggle more carrying the pregnancy, maybe bother my blood pressure at the very end, and so on.
I reeeeally want to gain less. I think I can do that by exercising, and also by NOT stuffing my face continually with chocolate in the evenings! But that last one will be verrrry hard, and I'm not convinced I can do it. The pull is so strong, especially when I'm hungry and craving chocolate! I love that so far I really want large quantities of savoury healthy foods. Right now when I make myself a meal I usually have half the plate covered with vegetables, because that's what I want - lots of veg! And I have been eating raw veg this evening - cauliflower, carrots and broccoli. I really like those veg raw so will probably eat snacks of them regularly. Thing is, once I start feeling sick, it will all go out of the window, and then anything that I can actually ingest will do, because otherwise it's a nightmare. You have to go with what you can stomach. AFTER the morning sickness the sugary cravings usually kick in. And those are really really really really hard to resist! I am also incredibly useless on the willpower front - always have been - so I'm not sure I'll do so well.... I DO want to exercise though!
A month or so ago I went to the doctor because my abs are still separated and I wanted to know what she thought about it. They were just over THREE fingerwidths apart at the widest part (my belly button area), which is proper abdominal separation. I was worried it would never go back! And the doctor wasn't reassuring - she said that's what comes with many pregnancies very close together, and they probably would never really go back! I asked if there were any exercises I could do, but she didn't really know. I googled and found a YouTube video by a Pilates instructor (there was SO much conflicting advice when I googled generally - and some of it looked authentic and good, but was actually POOR advice which could cause the abs to separate even more!!). It's a bunch of stretches and gentle muscle toning exercises. Good for poor separated abs after childbirth, and also for a complete novice to exercise like me! So I have been doing those faithfully every night before bed for 3 weeks, and guess what?! My abs are now just over 2 fingerwidths apart! :) It's working!!! But I'm not sure how long I can do those safely if I'm pregnant again. I want to add to that kind of exercise, just other parts of the body and not just the abs, and also general fitness. I am utterly utterly unfit, except for mothering-related fitness (weight lifting, etc, hehe!), so today I just did some bicep and tricep exercises (gentle!), the Pilates abs ones, and some stretches, and then decided to march (not jog - would DIE if I jogged, lol!) on the spot for 5 minutes and see how I got on. Sounds a bit daft, I know! ;) And I felt a bit of a sausage, but I marched away at a fast pace and worked up a good heartrate and was breathing hard by the end of it. Then I felt great for the little bit of exercise I'd done, so I jogged on the spot for a minute, and was KNACKERED but felt even better! :) I really need to start slow because of my total lack of fitness though. I think I'll try that simple routine every day for a bit, and meanwhile maybe look out a low impact pregnancy aerobics DVD to start in a few weeks if I feel able.
Okay this is getting really waffly, so I'll stop now! It's getting late as well. Baby tiny has already finished Carnegie Stage 7 of Embryonic Development, and is starting Stage 8. Finally visible to the human eye at 1mm long!! :) This is when I started calling Benjamin, "Babydot" because he was just a little dot of a baby back then :) I still haven't settled on a baby name for this little one, though I use various cutesy nicknames frequently. I'm happy doing that for now, so that's okay. I'm sure one or two will stick soon! My littlest one is now pear-shaped, has blood cells already developed, and is working on the beginnings of the nervous system (the neural groove). Exciting!!! :D This stage only lasts until 19DPO and the next stage starts the same day and will probably pass very quickly. Embryonic development is incredibly speedy and miraculous! I'm so amazed at what's going on inside my body at this very moment. It's almost too brain-boggling to comprehend when you cast your eye down at the zip of your jeans!
Will update again soon! :)
Monday, April 5, 2010
4 weeks pregnant!! :)
Wheee, my first weekly milestone! :) I am now 1/10 of the way through my pregnancy, haha! That feels so silly, to say that I'm a certain proportion of the way through my pregnancy when I've only known for a few days and it's still so early on! ;) Four weeks. I like that. It means 14DPO, and my longest luteal phase ever was 13 days, so I know I must really be pregnant, hehe!
My temp went up a touch today - it's now rocking up and down in the 36.8 - 37.0 range, which I like muchly. I peed on yet another stick this morning and it was reassuringly clear. It's the first time I have seen the positive line show up before the window cleared properly - in the first minute I think. It's a touch darker than yesterday's, and I am not going to test tomorrow, but I will do at 16DPO. I think I will also test at 18DPO for the last time. I really like to see those lines getting darker. 18DPO is the official "you're definitely pregnant by now!" mark that the book, "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" talks about - I bought that book years ago when we were TTC our first baby and it wasn't happening, and it was great and very informative! Anyway. I like to temp up to 18DPO, and after that I (reluctantly!) stop. I feel that there has to be a cut-off point otherwise I'd just temp forever and my charts would be annoying to look at as you'd have to scroll miiiiiles sideways to view it all, hehe! Also I wanted to temp to a certain point, the same each pregnancy, just for comparison's sake. So I chose 18DPO. Four more days of temping! :) I like it! I always miss it when I stop.
I feel like there's not really much newsy stuff to say today, and I won't be doing daily updates forever, because though I can waffle about nothing for many MANY paragraphs, I think it wouldn't be the best use of my time (or that of my readers, ha!) if I did! I just hope that this time around I will be better at updating at least weekly so that I don't miss any stages out. Each week is precious, and something I want to look back on or compare with another time when I'm (hopefully!) pregnant.
So the only big things today are:
1) Having the odd achy/crampy sensation in random parts of my pelvic area and low abdomen. It's very on and off, and doesn't always last more than a few seconds. Not usually longer than 5 or 10 minutes at most. It's sometimes like a bothersome dragging pain over some part of my pubic bone, or just to one side or above. I have felt generally a little crampy front and back today at times, but only very mild crampiness now. Right now I have a really bothersome "boring" pain over the far right part of my pubic bone. It's very dull but distractingly uncomfortable. I'm hoping that's just part of what's going on it there with the tiny one getting cosy.
2) Tiiiiiired. Just tired, physically. If I exert myself, I come over a bit "funny" - just lightheaded and breathless, or else weak and queasy, or something like that. Not morning-sickness queasy though. Just as though I had gone for a run and painted the house and been shopping and THEN tried to do the washing up and come over a bit weak and tired! ;) Except that I haven't actually done the stuff before the washing up! My body is busy though, inside, using up my energy on important baby-building and placenta-initiating things! :)
3) Protein. O Protein. How I love thy ways! I know I said it yesterday, but today is even more so - I would almost call it a craving, already! Weird. I just NEED lots of protein, and whatever we've got in the house doesn't seem to be enough. For lunch today after much restless rummaging in the kitchen, I finally ate toast with boiled egg, cheese and cold chicken, and then a yoghurt, and I washed it down with a glass of milk! And then felt like I wished I had some protein with a little more "kick", even after I'd just finished that lunch! It was GOOD but it still didn't quite hit the spot. It's not a meat craving as such, in fact I have so far just wanted eggs or fish or cheese, but I'm not much interested in anything else, such is my overwhelming desire for the PROTEIN part of the meal. I want to just get all those different sources of protein, mix them up in some mayo and tuck in! Blech! But mmm, prooootein...
I do not remember desiring/needing protein this much in my other pregnancies, or at this particular stage (except I do remember wanting EGG quite early on with at least two of my little ones - later than this though, more like 5 weeks or later). I presume it's to do with the needs of my body for what it's giving out in this particular stage of pregnancy. I mean, the beginnings of a little body is forming right now, and the beginnings of circulatory contact between me and said little body. That's got to require some protein, right?! I googled protein cravings in early pregnancy, but the only thing I found was a list of things that mean a certain gender according to old wives - guess which gender protein cravings were under?! I'll give you a clue - it starts with 'b' and ends with 'oy'. ;)
So that is all really. I haven't noticed any spotting yet today, though I haven't been to check for a while. The spotting that I've charted for the past 3 days has only been very light brown spotting, and not much of it. Because it's THERE, I've charted it, that's all.
We moved Benjamin out of the Amby hammock today :( Nathan also moved today, into the toddler bed that Matthew first used, and out of his cot :( My baaabies!!! Nathan loves his new big boy bed! We set the cot right up in the other bedroom for Benjamin to move into, and he's sleeping in it right now (no motion! He has always had motion with the Amby! So far it's going fairly well...). It was good to get that done, but I felt such a pang packing the Amby into its bag to store in the loft! :( And while I was clearing space for the cot (which takes up more space than the Amby in the room) I ended up packing away a bunch of other baby stuff that was lying around, like the soft mats for tummy time and the activity gym/mat thingy. And the huge pile of white terry towels that sit on the bed for months, and I cycle through three dozen in just a couple of days, over and over and over, with all the leaky breasts and milky eruptions and blow-out nappies and little fountains when you take nappies off, etc, that come with a new or very young baby. I felt sad packing it all away, because it's packing my memories and my experience (that I love SO MUCH!!!!) away too. I commented to Neil that I was so glad to have another on the way already when going through a milestone like this with the littlest boys! It must be harder to pack those things away not knowing whether it's the last time or not :( *sniffle* I remember I BAWLED and sobbed when Nathan moved out of my bedroom and in with "the boys" before Benjamin was born, and Matthew moved out of the toddler bed and into a bottom bunk. Even though I was in my 3rd trimester with another baby, it was still so sad to see my babies grow older! But comforting to know I would be able to see it happen all over again soon! :) I'm so glad of that again! How wonderful to be able to look forward AGAIN to the joys of a tiny snuffly newborn, night time nappy craziness, my milk coming in and the delight of feeling that first real ZING of the let-down as the tiny weeny person attached starts gulping and gasping on that first real milk! All the precious little milestones (and big ones!), the first smile, baby coos, photographing my FIVE children together, sooooo much wonderful stuff. I am even excited about the birth, and that's not even mentioning all the exciting wonderful things ahead in the pregnancy! Seeing the little one at the scans, finding out whether we're having another dear sweet little boy or (surely not?!) our very first daughter, feeling the first kicks, hearing that precious heart beating on my doppler, stroking my belly and just ohhh EVERYTHING!! I love being pregnant! I'm so overjoyed and glad and thankful to be here again! I pray that it will be a healthy pregnancy with no complications, and also a healthy baby (or two!). I just can't wait to experience it all, and drink it all up and cherish it!
I MUST get round to writing Benjamin's birth story, or else it will be getting a bit silly (if it isn't already, whoops!)! Also I need to hurry up and find photos of the boys to email to Jennisa for her to change the header at my main blog, because right now it still has 3-year-old Arthur, 2-year-old Matthew, and 10-month-old Nathan, with Benjamin just a scan picture from 12 weeks into my pregnancy!!! Reeeally out of date, especially in light of this new pregnancy! Need to change it.
I'm somehow smelling faint car fumes (someone just parked next door and somehow it has rolled in through a crack or something!) and it seems horribly strong to my nose even though I know it's only a faint whiff of fumes, and surprisingly nausea-inducing. Yuck. Smells have been enhanced all day today, especially in the kitchen. It doesn't make me feel sick as such, but I certainly want to avoid smells that aren't nice, and they seem too strong for me all the time. I don't like these car fumes though, however faint they are. They are making me feel proper sick. I think I will finish up for now and go to bed. I'll update again soon, but probably not tomorrow unless there's something I want to write about.
My temp went up a touch today - it's now rocking up and down in the 36.8 - 37.0 range, which I like muchly. I peed on yet another stick this morning and it was reassuringly clear. It's the first time I have seen the positive line show up before the window cleared properly - in the first minute I think. It's a touch darker than yesterday's, and I am not going to test tomorrow, but I will do at 16DPO. I think I will also test at 18DPO for the last time. I really like to see those lines getting darker. 18DPO is the official "you're definitely pregnant by now!" mark that the book, "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" talks about - I bought that book years ago when we were TTC our first baby and it wasn't happening, and it was great and very informative! Anyway. I like to temp up to 18DPO, and after that I (reluctantly!) stop. I feel that there has to be a cut-off point otherwise I'd just temp forever and my charts would be annoying to look at as you'd have to scroll miiiiiles sideways to view it all, hehe! Also I wanted to temp to a certain point, the same each pregnancy, just for comparison's sake. So I chose 18DPO. Four more days of temping! :) I like it! I always miss it when I stop.
I feel like there's not really much newsy stuff to say today, and I won't be doing daily updates forever, because though I can waffle about nothing for many MANY paragraphs, I think it wouldn't be the best use of my time (or that of my readers, ha!) if I did! I just hope that this time around I will be better at updating at least weekly so that I don't miss any stages out. Each week is precious, and something I want to look back on or compare with another time when I'm (hopefully!) pregnant.
So the only big things today are:
1) Having the odd achy/crampy sensation in random parts of my pelvic area and low abdomen. It's very on and off, and doesn't always last more than a few seconds. Not usually longer than 5 or 10 minutes at most. It's sometimes like a bothersome dragging pain over some part of my pubic bone, or just to one side or above. I have felt generally a little crampy front and back today at times, but only very mild crampiness now. Right now I have a really bothersome "boring" pain over the far right part of my pubic bone. It's very dull but distractingly uncomfortable. I'm hoping that's just part of what's going on it there with the tiny one getting cosy.
2) Tiiiiiired. Just tired, physically. If I exert myself, I come over a bit "funny" - just lightheaded and breathless, or else weak and queasy, or something like that. Not morning-sickness queasy though. Just as though I had gone for a run and painted the house and been shopping and THEN tried to do the washing up and come over a bit weak and tired! ;) Except that I haven't actually done the stuff before the washing up! My body is busy though, inside, using up my energy on important baby-building and placenta-initiating things! :)
3) Protein. O Protein. How I love thy ways! I know I said it yesterday, but today is even more so - I would almost call it a craving, already! Weird. I just NEED lots of protein, and whatever we've got in the house doesn't seem to be enough. For lunch today after much restless rummaging in the kitchen, I finally ate toast with boiled egg, cheese and cold chicken, and then a yoghurt, and I washed it down with a glass of milk! And then felt like I wished I had some protein with a little more "kick", even after I'd just finished that lunch! It was GOOD but it still didn't quite hit the spot. It's not a meat craving as such, in fact I have so far just wanted eggs or fish or cheese, but I'm not much interested in anything else, such is my overwhelming desire for the PROTEIN part of the meal. I want to just get all those different sources of protein, mix them up in some mayo and tuck in! Blech! But mmm, prooootein...
I do not remember desiring/needing protein this much in my other pregnancies, or at this particular stage (except I do remember wanting EGG quite early on with at least two of my little ones - later than this though, more like 5 weeks or later). I presume it's to do with the needs of my body for what it's giving out in this particular stage of pregnancy. I mean, the beginnings of a little body is forming right now, and the beginnings of circulatory contact between me and said little body. That's got to require some protein, right?! I googled protein cravings in early pregnancy, but the only thing I found was a list of things that mean a certain gender according to old wives - guess which gender protein cravings were under?! I'll give you a clue - it starts with 'b' and ends with 'oy'. ;)
So that is all really. I haven't noticed any spotting yet today, though I haven't been to check for a while. The spotting that I've charted for the past 3 days has only been very light brown spotting, and not much of it. Because it's THERE, I've charted it, that's all.
We moved Benjamin out of the Amby hammock today :( Nathan also moved today, into the toddler bed that Matthew first used, and out of his cot :( My baaabies!!! Nathan loves his new big boy bed! We set the cot right up in the other bedroom for Benjamin to move into, and he's sleeping in it right now (no motion! He has always had motion with the Amby! So far it's going fairly well...). It was good to get that done, but I felt such a pang packing the Amby into its bag to store in the loft! :( And while I was clearing space for the cot (which takes up more space than the Amby in the room) I ended up packing away a bunch of other baby stuff that was lying around, like the soft mats for tummy time and the activity gym/mat thingy. And the huge pile of white terry towels that sit on the bed for months, and I cycle through three dozen in just a couple of days, over and over and over, with all the leaky breasts and milky eruptions and blow-out nappies and little fountains when you take nappies off, etc, that come with a new or very young baby. I felt sad packing it all away, because it's packing my memories and my experience (that I love SO MUCH!!!!) away too. I commented to Neil that I was so glad to have another on the way already when going through a milestone like this with the littlest boys! It must be harder to pack those things away not knowing whether it's the last time or not :( *sniffle* I remember I BAWLED and sobbed when Nathan moved out of my bedroom and in with "the boys" before Benjamin was born, and Matthew moved out of the toddler bed and into a bottom bunk. Even though I was in my 3rd trimester with another baby, it was still so sad to see my babies grow older! But comforting to know I would be able to see it happen all over again soon! :) I'm so glad of that again! How wonderful to be able to look forward AGAIN to the joys of a tiny snuffly newborn, night time nappy craziness, my milk coming in and the delight of feeling that first real ZING of the let-down as the tiny weeny person attached starts gulping and gasping on that first real milk! All the precious little milestones (and big ones!), the first smile, baby coos, photographing my FIVE children together, sooooo much wonderful stuff. I am even excited about the birth, and that's not even mentioning all the exciting wonderful things ahead in the pregnancy! Seeing the little one at the scans, finding out whether we're having another dear sweet little boy or (surely not?!) our very first daughter, feeling the first kicks, hearing that precious heart beating on my doppler, stroking my belly and just ohhh EVERYTHING!! I love being pregnant! I'm so overjoyed and glad and thankful to be here again! I pray that it will be a healthy pregnancy with no complications, and also a healthy baby (or two!). I just can't wait to experience it all, and drink it all up and cherish it!
I MUST get round to writing Benjamin's birth story, or else it will be getting a bit silly (if it isn't already, whoops!)! Also I need to hurry up and find photos of the boys to email to Jennisa for her to change the header at my main blog, because right now it still has 3-year-old Arthur, 2-year-old Matthew, and 10-month-old Nathan, with Benjamin just a scan picture from 12 weeks into my pregnancy!!! Reeeally out of date, especially in light of this new pregnancy! Need to change it.
I'm somehow smelling faint car fumes (someone just parked next door and somehow it has rolled in through a crack or something!) and it seems horribly strong to my nose even though I know it's only a faint whiff of fumes, and surprisingly nausea-inducing. Yuck. Smells have been enhanced all day today, especially in the kitchen. It doesn't make me feel sick as such, but I certainly want to avoid smells that aren't nice, and they seem too strong for me all the time. I don't like these car fumes though, however faint they are. They are making me feel proper sick. I think I will finish up for now and go to bed. I'll update again soon, but probably not tomorrow unless there's something I want to write about.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
3 weeks, 6 days
13DPO today! :) My temp went back up a little and that's always reassuring! I also took another pregnancy test this morning and it was quite a bit darker than the others, which made me happy! :)
I found the two tests I took at 8DPO and 9DPO and put them with the others to photograph. They really were negatives, although I do think there is a shadow of a line on the 9DPO one, like the ones I had the last couple of cycles. It's almost impossible to see in a photo though. Anyway, here's the photo - today's is at the top:
Today I am feeling really tired out again. We went to church this morning and if I stood to sing during the worship time then I quickly felt breathless and lightheaded, and had to sit down. Hmmm. That is going to become rather tricky with the amount of energy I need for everyday happenings with all the little ones and keeping any sort of tidiness going in the house! :S
I have no headache today, thankfully. I'm really hoping I don't get those too often this pregnancy. I am also not peeing frequently today for some reason. Just totally not. And yesterday wasn't so much either. Trying not to be overly paranoid about any small thing, and just focusing on the fact that I still feel pregnant and am getting darker tests! Smells are really noticable to me today though. Some are off-putting, but just smells in general - good or bad - are really standing out to me. Pregnant Nose! It was one of my early pregnancy symptoms at about this stage with my first pregnancy and I remember being very excited about it! :) I am pregnant-hungry though! When we got home from church I told Neil that for lunch I wanted lasagne, chicken pie and spaghetti, hehe! I really seem to want a lot of protein all the time. Today we just had a quick sandwich lunch because we got back late from church and the littlest boys needed naps STAT, so I had tuna and egg, which I NEVER have. But yum! :) Proootein... mmmm! Until I go off them (if I ever do), I can see myself needing egg every day at the moment. Just hard boiled to nibble on. Or cheese. We had roast chicken for dinner so there's cold chicken to nibble on tomorrow! :) Although, I'm supposed to make that into chicken pasta bake.... I have eaten three meals so far today and my mouth is WATERING writing all this, hehe!
I have a fridge full of ingredients for freezer cooking. Double batch of spaghetti bolognese sauce, double batch of lamb and bean hotpot, double batch of shepherd's pie, double batch of turkey casserole. The start of my freezer stocks for in case I feel too nauseous to prepare any meals in a few weeks' time! I need to get started on the cooking for all that tomorrow.
Well, I am as useless at Not Telling as I had suspected! ;) I told my parents tonight on the phone. I thought I would just see how the conversation went and if there was an "opening" then maybe I would mention it! And there was. Mummy and I were talking about clothes sizes, and about how I would probably get back down to a certain size eventually (one I have "stopped having children"). I said that it might not be for a while yet considering the next baby is due in December. She said, "What." (very short!) And I repeated my line. I confess I was enjoying myself just a little bit! ;) She was okay about it, it wasn't so bad. She said she supposed she should say congratulations then, and did. She also asked what Neil thought of it. She always thinks he's horrified at the discovery or something! She asked what he said when I told him. I told her that he gave me a big hug and that we're very happy. She warmed up a bit and said that she was happy for us then. *sigh* But it wasn't so bad. She got a bit flappy about the idea of twins and defensively told me all the reasons why I couldn't possibly conceive twins: (M: "It doesn't run in our family at ALL." Me: "Well, I did feel TWO ovulation pains..." M: (silence) Me: "Or identical twins - they don't run in families!" M: "But you felt two ovulation pains, so it CAN'T be identical twins!" etc!). She said let's not think about the possibility of twins at this stage. That way she would be able to sleep at night! :S
I asked to speak to Daddy and told him I was having a baby! :) He seemed slightly less enthusiastic than usual ("I expect you're both very happy!" rather than, "I'm very happy for you!") but generally very neutral and congratulatory, which was lovely. This morning at church a sweet lady who I know well was talking to me about homeschooling, and asking how I juggle the little ones with school time. We got onto talking about the new law which is likely to come into play any time from October, whereby homeschooling families in the UK will have to register and present their plan for the year ahead and be somewhat accountable to it. It makes me nervous! Especially if I end up with newborn twins along with my 6, 4, 2 and 1-year-olds a couple of months after the law comes into play! :S Anyway she asked how I felt about that law for us, and I said it was okay, except that it might get tricky from December since I was newly expecting another baby! :) It was FUN to tell!! :D She said, "Oh Alice, you're wonderful!" *sigh* I am finding that quite a few people think I am wonderful or some sort of supermama simply because I happen to have popped out more than the average number of children, and already have yet another on the way! I would like to tell them (as I did this lady) that I am NOT wonderful, or any more special than a mother of one or two children! I haven't done anything different as a mother, it's just that I have more children, and that really doesn't make me super or serve as an indication that I'm incredibly GOOD at mothering! So please don't be in any sort of awe. I struggle along with every other mother. I probably struggle MORE, rather than excelling more, than other mothers because of the number of children to juggle. STRUGGLE more! The number of children I am blessed with is not an indication of the Level of Motherhood that I have reached! (Oooh I've reached Level 5, lol!) ;) Maybe I should write about this at my main blog too? I just want to dispel the myth that seems to be out there a bit.
Anyway, so now we have told my parents and one sweet lady at church, who knows that nobody else knows and will keep it quiet. It was so nice to tell her because she said, "I MUST pray for you!" and we stood right where we were in the middle of people chatting away after church and she held my hands in hers and prayed over me and my new tiny. Which was wonderful! See, THIS is why I want to TELL THE WORRRRRLD!! :D Not wait. I would have told my brother by now, but they're with Sarah's family for Easter, so when they get back tomorrow I'll phone them. We do not plan on telling the boys till as late as possible - probably when I start to show and Arthur notices (he notices EVERYTHING these days, and wants answers to everything too!). Or maybe by the scan if it hasn't become noticable before then, because no doubt we'll go and someone will need to come and babysit, and they'll wonder why. Anyway, not for a while yet.
I have some pulling and bruisey-feeling twinges above my pubic bone here and there, and also a few inches up inside both hips and under my tummy button today. The higher up areas are mostly little ligament pains and pulling sensations, and the bruisey feelings are lower down. I know my little tiny one is finished implanting now - how exciting! :) Lots is going on, and I can't wait till a few more days down the line when I can look up NEW happenings and see that he/she/they (!) will be growing bigger. I have GOT to find an alternative to "he/she/they"! ;) When I'm not thinking of the whole prayer/twins aspect, I am pretty much completely expecting a baby boy to be growing in my womb. I think when we come to the scans, I will be least surprised if it's a boy, moderately surprised if it's twin girls, and completely flabbergasted if it's a singleton girl! I just can't imagine seeing one baby and looking for the bits at the big scan and NOT seeing an extra appendage, hehehe! I just will not be able to believe it. Seriously. So I think it's a boy! ;) I am not sure if we'll ever produce girls! Unless the thing about twin girls WAS from God. Which time will reveal, I guess! :)
Okay, must go to bed. Tomorrow is Monday, and my first ever change-of-week day! I will be 4 weeks pregnant tomorrow, and will have officially "missed" my period, even with my original length luteal phase! Yay!
I found the two tests I took at 8DPO and 9DPO and put them with the others to photograph. They really were negatives, although I do think there is a shadow of a line on the 9DPO one, like the ones I had the last couple of cycles. It's almost impossible to see in a photo though. Anyway, here's the photo - today's is at the top:
Today I am feeling really tired out again. We went to church this morning and if I stood to sing during the worship time then I quickly felt breathless and lightheaded, and had to sit down. Hmmm. That is going to become rather tricky with the amount of energy I need for everyday happenings with all the little ones and keeping any sort of tidiness going in the house! :S
I have no headache today, thankfully. I'm really hoping I don't get those too often this pregnancy. I am also not peeing frequently today for some reason. Just totally not. And yesterday wasn't so much either. Trying not to be overly paranoid about any small thing, and just focusing on the fact that I still feel pregnant and am getting darker tests! Smells are really noticable to me today though. Some are off-putting, but just smells in general - good or bad - are really standing out to me. Pregnant Nose! It was one of my early pregnancy symptoms at about this stage with my first pregnancy and I remember being very excited about it! :) I am pregnant-hungry though! When we got home from church I told Neil that for lunch I wanted lasagne, chicken pie and spaghetti, hehe! I really seem to want a lot of protein all the time. Today we just had a quick sandwich lunch because we got back late from church and the littlest boys needed naps STAT, so I had tuna and egg, which I NEVER have. But yum! :) Proootein... mmmm! Until I go off them (if I ever do), I can see myself needing egg every day at the moment. Just hard boiled to nibble on. Or cheese. We had roast chicken for dinner so there's cold chicken to nibble on tomorrow! :) Although, I'm supposed to make that into chicken pasta bake.... I have eaten three meals so far today and my mouth is WATERING writing all this, hehe!
I have a fridge full of ingredients for freezer cooking. Double batch of spaghetti bolognese sauce, double batch of lamb and bean hotpot, double batch of shepherd's pie, double batch of turkey casserole. The start of my freezer stocks for in case I feel too nauseous to prepare any meals in a few weeks' time! I need to get started on the cooking for all that tomorrow.
Well, I am as useless at Not Telling as I had suspected! ;) I told my parents tonight on the phone. I thought I would just see how the conversation went and if there was an "opening" then maybe I would mention it! And there was. Mummy and I were talking about clothes sizes, and about how I would probably get back down to a certain size eventually (one I have "stopped having children"). I said that it might not be for a while yet considering the next baby is due in December. She said, "What." (very short!) And I repeated my line. I confess I was enjoying myself just a little bit! ;) She was okay about it, it wasn't so bad. She said she supposed she should say congratulations then, and did. She also asked what Neil thought of it. She always thinks he's horrified at the discovery or something! She asked what he said when I told him. I told her that he gave me a big hug and that we're very happy. She warmed up a bit and said that she was happy for us then. *sigh* But it wasn't so bad. She got a bit flappy about the idea of twins and defensively told me all the reasons why I couldn't possibly conceive twins: (M: "It doesn't run in our family at ALL." Me: "Well, I did feel TWO ovulation pains..." M: (silence) Me: "Or identical twins - they don't run in families!" M: "But you felt two ovulation pains, so it CAN'T be identical twins!" etc!). She said let's not think about the possibility of twins at this stage. That way she would be able to sleep at night! :S
I asked to speak to Daddy and told him I was having a baby! :) He seemed slightly less enthusiastic than usual ("I expect you're both very happy!" rather than, "I'm very happy for you!") but generally very neutral and congratulatory, which was lovely. This morning at church a sweet lady who I know well was talking to me about homeschooling, and asking how I juggle the little ones with school time. We got onto talking about the new law which is likely to come into play any time from October, whereby homeschooling families in the UK will have to register and present their plan for the year ahead and be somewhat accountable to it. It makes me nervous! Especially if I end up with newborn twins along with my 6, 4, 2 and 1-year-olds a couple of months after the law comes into play! :S Anyway she asked how I felt about that law for us, and I said it was okay, except that it might get tricky from December since I was newly expecting another baby! :) It was FUN to tell!! :D She said, "Oh Alice, you're wonderful!" *sigh* I am finding that quite a few people think I am wonderful or some sort of supermama simply because I happen to have popped out more than the average number of children, and already have yet another on the way! I would like to tell them (as I did this lady) that I am NOT wonderful, or any more special than a mother of one or two children! I haven't done anything different as a mother, it's just that I have more children, and that really doesn't make me super or serve as an indication that I'm incredibly GOOD at mothering! So please don't be in any sort of awe. I struggle along with every other mother. I probably struggle MORE, rather than excelling more, than other mothers because of the number of children to juggle. STRUGGLE more! The number of children I am blessed with is not an indication of the Level of Motherhood that I have reached! (Oooh I've reached Level 5, lol!) ;) Maybe I should write about this at my main blog too? I just want to dispel the myth that seems to be out there a bit.
Anyway, so now we have told my parents and one sweet lady at church, who knows that nobody else knows and will keep it quiet. It was so nice to tell her because she said, "I MUST pray for you!" and we stood right where we were in the middle of people chatting away after church and she held my hands in hers and prayed over me and my new tiny. Which was wonderful! See, THIS is why I want to TELL THE WORRRRRLD!! :D Not wait. I would have told my brother by now, but they're with Sarah's family for Easter, so when they get back tomorrow I'll phone them. We do not plan on telling the boys till as late as possible - probably when I start to show and Arthur notices (he notices EVERYTHING these days, and wants answers to everything too!). Or maybe by the scan if it hasn't become noticable before then, because no doubt we'll go and someone will need to come and babysit, and they'll wonder why. Anyway, not for a while yet.
I have some pulling and bruisey-feeling twinges above my pubic bone here and there, and also a few inches up inside both hips and under my tummy button today. The higher up areas are mostly little ligament pains and pulling sensations, and the bruisey feelings are lower down. I know my little tiny one is finished implanting now - how exciting! :) Lots is going on, and I can't wait till a few more days down the line when I can look up NEW happenings and see that he/she/they (!) will be growing bigger. I have GOT to find an alternative to "he/she/they"! ;) When I'm not thinking of the whole prayer/twins aspect, I am pretty much completely expecting a baby boy to be growing in my womb. I think when we come to the scans, I will be least surprised if it's a boy, moderately surprised if it's twin girls, and completely flabbergasted if it's a singleton girl! I just can't imagine seeing one baby and looking for the bits at the big scan and NOT seeing an extra appendage, hehehe! I just will not be able to believe it. Seriously. So I think it's a boy! ;) I am not sure if we'll ever produce girls! Unless the thing about twin girls WAS from God. Which time will reveal, I guess! :)
Okay, must go to bed. Tomorrow is Monday, and my first ever change-of-week day! I will be 4 weeks pregnant tomorrow, and will have officially "missed" my period, even with my original length luteal phase! Yay!
Saturday, April 3, 2010
3 weeks, 5 days pregnant!!! :D
Wheee, I love being able to write a gestation as a title again! :D Thank you so so much for all the lovely congrats and for routing for me! I'm so thrilled and happy and excited! I have less of the disbelief aspect this time, but maybe that will set in later or something?! Or maybe it's just totally believable this time?! Hehe!
I meant to update last night but I was SO tired out. The physical wiped-out-ness has cranked itself up to a new level in the last 24 hours or so. And today I have had an AWFUL headache all day long. It was there when I woke with Benjamin at 6.30am and despite 2 rounds of painkillers and going back to bed for much of the morning (yay for Saturdays and lovely husbands!), and THEN napping with Benjamin in the afternoon for an hour, it's still kicking my butt. I remember these pregnancy headaches started early with some of the others, and Neil wasn't home those times so I am not quite sure how I got by! If I did before though, I can manage again. Neil works from home (in a manner of speaking, not earning as yet, but working fairly constantly from 9-5 at the computer) so I still need to pull myself together during the week and I won't be able to nap when I need to, the same as the other pregnancies (except my first of course!).
Last night before bed I noticed a teensy bit of light brown spotting, and I have had a bit of very light brown spotting today as well. At 11DPO and 12DPO, that is implantation spotting, and I've had it before, so as much as I don't like seeing spotting or bleeding of ANY sort, I am okay with this!
One thing I'm always anxious about as I start a new pregnancy, is the prospect of bleeding. The least "bloody" pregnancy I had was Matthew's, where I only had some light brown spotting - I think around 7 weeks? I can't remember. I think I had some late implantation spotting too, around 4 weeks. With all three of my other pregnancies I have had BLEEDING, not spotting. Well, spotting as well with some of them, but yeah, bleeeeeding. I seem to have some sort of tendency to develop a subchorionic haematoma during pregnancy, in the first trimester especially. All the info out there says they are random and there's no tendency, etc, but I am SURE that's rhubarb, in my case anyway!
The first scan in this country is 12 weeks. I think I will be 12 weeks pregnant on May 31st, so sometime around the end of May or beginning of June I should have a scan! :) Whenever I start to bleed in the first trimester, I go straight to my GP and ask for a referral for an early scan. Those are internal scans, not the usual gel on the tummy ones. I would never just wait an early bleed out. They are all essentially a threatened miscarriage and I simply HAVE to know if everything is okay to put my mind at rest. I can't deal with the anxiety over it otherwise. I hate bleeding during pregnancy! So, with all my pregnancies so far, I have had my "first" scan early, between 5 and 8 weeks. I hope not to need one this time, but if I do have to go through bleeding again, it's wonderful to get a look at my tiny one and be reassured about how the pregnancy is going. With Arthur's pregnancy I started bleeding at 5 weeks and had a scan at 5w6d, which just showed the yolk sac and no heartbeat or baby. So I had a follow-up at 7 weeks exactly which showed my little bean holding his balloon with a flickering heartbeat! :) Phew!
I overly panicked with the brown spotting at around 7 weeks with Matthew and went to my doctor, who actually happily referred me for a scan and said I was not overreacting. Nathan's pregnancy was quite scary for bleeding. I had an early scan at about 8 weeks due to some bleeding/spotting and saw him in there with his tiny little limb buds! Then I was minding my own business one morning at 11 weeks pregnant when suddenly I started bleeding heavily. So scary. It was so heavy that when I ran to the loo and sat there wondering what to do, it was running into the toilet continually and it sounded like I was doing a wee. *shudder* Horrid memory :( I bled like that for a couple of hours and it slowed down a bit in the hospital, but I was very crampy by then and SURE I was having a miscarriage. Three days later I had a scan which found a very happy little baby wiggling about and NO sign of a bleed! The doctor said I must have "bled it all out" at once instead of blood pooling inside and bleeding from the pool gradually. At 13 weeks I started bleeding again, fairly period-like but not as heavy as before, and I happened to have my scan the next morning, so when they did the scan they found a very large haematoma next to Nathan's head. It was almost as big as he was. I had a follow-up scan at 15 weeks which showed it was shrinking, and I continued bleeding from that until 18 weeks or so. Ugh. NOT fun!
Then with Benjamin, I started bleeding at 5 weeks like a period with cramping. I just knew the pregnancy was over. We were staying with my parents in France at the time. I was so surprised a few days later when I started feeling horribly morning sick! :) Nevertheless, when we got home I went straight to my GP and she sent me for an early scan at 6 or 7 weeks, so I was able to see my tiny Benjabean then and know that it was all okay.
Neil and I are really praying that I won't have ANY bleeding this time around. It will feel odd to make it to 12 weeks without having had a peek at my tiny one(s!), but it will be SO much nicer to avoid that stress.
Also praying about the morning sickness. I am praying for NONE! I know God is able to bless me with a morning-sickness-free pregnancy. It's very.... refining to battle through morning sickness with many small children to look after, so for that reason alone, I know He might allow it. But I'm praying NOT! ;) Also a bit anxious that if I do happen to be having twins, the symptoms will all be doubled! :S I'm guessing that if I don't have cause to have an early scan, I will definitely not make it to the 12 week scan without knowing for sure one way or the other whether I'm having twins or not! By 12 weeks with twins I'd be HUGE! ;)
Well, let's see. What else? My temperature dropped a bit today, but it's still high. I took another pregnancy test and saw the line quite quickly, after about 3 minutes I think. Now that it has dried I have put it together with yesterday's and I think it's a touch darker than yesterday's test, which is encouraging! :) It's the top one, in this photo:
So I'm 3 weeks and 5 days pregnant! So early! Otherwise known at 12 days past ovulation. This is the day I had my first positive test with Arthur. It was 10DPO with Matthew, and 11DPO with the other two, I think, same as this time. My "change of week" day this pregnancy is Monday. I am going to go to the doctor on Tuesday (it would be Monday except that it's a Bank Holiday for Easter) and "book in"!! Exciting! There's heavy competition for spaces at my local hospital (even if you're booking a homebirth) so my GP always tells me to go to see her as soon as I get a positive test.
I have told everyone online I think, my FF groups (and joined the Due in December 2010 group, yay!!) and, well, this blog! ;) I should update my other blog because not everyone who follows my blogs reads this one. I am looking forward to revealing at Facebook but my cousin is a friend at Facebook (though he never updates or does anything, only lurks!) and if I post about it there before telling all of my family, he will pass the news on first. When Benjamin was born, I posted at Facebook the evening he was born (after telling my family, of course!), and without leaving me any sort of congrats or comment, he told my auntie (my mum's sister) before she had even had a chance to phone her to tell her! When she phoned, my auntie told her, "Oh yes, Robert's already told me - he saw at Facebook!" >:S
So I have to wait a bit. This is the first time I have ever NOT told my mum within like 30 minutes of getting a positive pregnancy test :( We decided not to, because she is always really clear about the fact that it seems to be BAD news to her, and then makes non-subtle effort to act like it's good news after all. *sigh* I think she does eventually think it's good news, but her initial reaction is always, "Oh no!" rather than anything else. Except for my first pregnancy of course! She was ecstatic about that one. I would love for her to swallow all that negativity down and keep it to herself, and only show me the happy response, even if it's put on for my benefit, until she's feeling more genuinely happy about it. It serves no purpose to let out the "Oh no!" or even, "Oh God!" response, and then go through the, "Oh, er, I mean how wonderful (slightly sarcastic tone) of course!" The next comment is usually about some aspect of neglect for the boys that I will have to overcome when I feel dreadful later in the first trimester. I do love my mummy - in fact she is pretty much my best friend - and she's a loving Nana and very supportive in general, but she does have this reaction to having more than 2 babies, or any number of babies that are spaced less than 2 or 3 years apart. Anything different than her own choices, that is. It frustrates and hurts me, and this time I reluctantly decided (with Neil) that we won't tell her (which means obviously not telling both my parents, even though my dad has always been happy and excited for us every time, never negative in any way) for a while.
I don't know when we WILL tell her. She already knows that we don't prevent pregnancy. I've been telling her over and over since Benjamin was born, but she just either says negative stuff about it, hopes we'll come to our senses, or else just seems to think we aren't serious, because the next time I remind her that we'll likely have another baby if God blesses us that way, she seems shocked and surprised and hopes we'll come to our senses again! :S So anyway. She's vaguely prepared. She also knows I had a chemical pregnancy last cycle, and was freshly shocked that we're actually going to "go that route then" and insanely lay the way open for a 5th baby. So at least she has a heads up! ;)
It might be that we tell my parents quite soon. I'm HOPELESS at keeping this kind of news to myself, and I just plain WANT to tell my family! We don't do any "safety zones" stuff, never have. If I am pregnant, a new life is in me and we want to celebrate it! We don't want to hide it! We want everyone to know about it. If I bleed, I don't want to have to tell people I'm pregnant if I need help or support and am busy bleeding. I want them to know already! I can't tell you how glad I was when I was 11 weeks with Nathan and bleeding, that I had told everyone I knew. I could phone a lady at church and say, "I'm bleeding" (it had to be a rushed conversation) and she knew right away what that meant, and came round to take me to the hospital right away on a Sunday morning (Neil was sick with a stomach bug!!! Ugh!). Then she hopped right off to church leaving me at the hospital with my brother, and once there she spread the word all over the church that I needed prayers because I was bleeding heavily. Now see, I NEEDED that prayer support so badly, and yet it would have meant somebody else randomly telling everyone at church that I was pregnant instead of me. Either that, or NOT doing so, and thus having very little in the way of prayer support.
If I'm pregnant and I bleed, I need prayers! I want everyone to know. Untelling people if we miscarry must be horrible, but I have read too many stories from women who have miscarried before they told anyone, during the 1st trimester, and then how agonising the loneliness of being in it alone without anyone knowing what they were going through. And that's how I feel about it even without hearing those stories to back my thoughts on it up. I know we COULD tell people afterwards that we had lost a baby, and they would pray and be sympathetic, but it's different if they had from the start been celebrating that baby's existance with us. They would really get it. I just really don't get the thing that everyone seems to do where they don't tell anyone until the "safe zone". It doesn't make sense to me, even though I do vaguely understand the reason. It just doesn't hold water, in reality, to me.
So perhaps we'll tell them pretty soon? The main thing we both want at the moment is to have this glorious "just found out" stage to ourselves. We are so overjoyed and excited!!! That bubble is somewhat deflated whenever we tell someone and get a negative response, and we want to enjoy it without that risk this time. It won't be long before it's settling in nicely for us and we will have that experience tucked into our belts, of just the joy and excitement. Then we can tell others (with baited breath, haha!). I'm eager to tell my brother. He has always been happy and excited, and would never let on if he wasn't in any way. I am NOT eager to tell my grandparents. I'm sure they have NO idea that we would ever consider being so crazy as to have a FIFTH baby with an even smaller age gap to boot! ;) They will be fairly horrified at first, and very worried for us. *sigh* Will put off telling them till as late as poss! :S I guess Neil will tell his side of the family when we're ready to tell mine. They're usually okay - always rather stunned, but always offer congratulations.
Anyway. This is why I'm so grateful for everyone's lovely happy congrats here! :) Thank you!!! :D
My bad cramps have completely cleared up! It must have been the little one burrowing in more deeply. I am mildly crampy today, on and off. I'm not peeing quite so frequently today, and I do have an increased appetite, but not hugely so. I have felt queasy with this bad headache. It's a fair bit better this evening, now that it's getting later (perhaps it's the period of time that's building up since the boys have gone to bed?! Lots of noise before that time...). I don't seem to have as much milk as usual, in that I can always tell which breast to feed from next based on how full it feels, but today neither seem full at any time really. Benjamin still gulps and milk still flows, but I'm just noticing that difference. It's familiar from the other pregnancies though, at this stage. And I find that it comes back full force after a while, and then tapers off later in the 1st trimester or early in the 2nd.
I did all that fun stuff online like registering for a Babycentre news email to come each week of my pregnancy, finding out dates and gestations, and making a new ticker! :) I used to display my little ones' tickers at my diaryland version of this diary (which I should link here, given that all the archives are there and NOT transferred here yet! Gulp! Must get round to that or one day I could lose the lot!), but the layout doesn't support that too well here :( Maybe I can fit the short versions down the side there on the right? I'll see. For now, here's my new baby's ticker! :)
My new baby - aaaaahhhhh!!! :) I'm so blessed! :) Thank you Lord for this precious little one!
So my 2nd trimester starts on May 31st, and my 3rd trimester on September 13th. On Matthew's birthday in June (the next family birthday) I will be 14 weeks pregnant exactly - hopefully finished with morning sickness if I have it. When my baby boy has his first birthday I will be 17 weeks and 4 days!! I am always pregnant when one of my little ones has their first birthday, but this time I will be the most pregnant I have ever been at that event! I was 10 weeks at Arthur's first birthday, 6 weeks at Matthew's, and 14 weeks and 5 days at Nathan's. I did not have morning sickness at Nathan's birthday any more, but I was really struggling with awful pregnancy-related headaches (like the one I have had today, hmmm!) which would last a few days at a time and be a bit debilitating, and then go away again for a couple of days, and then back on for a few days, etc. They are a lot better in the second half of pregnancy. Benjamin's pregnancy was definitely the worst for those. I hope it doesn't happen that way again this time!
At Arthur's 6th (SIXTH!!!) birthday in November, I will be 35 weeks and 1 day pregnant. My big scan should be in the last week of July.
So exciting!!!! :D I really hope that nothing goes wrong with this pregnancy and that I'll get to meet my sweet new little one(s!) at the end of it.
I was trying to think of a name for the little one earlier (a pregnancy name, not an actual name for after the birth!), but I have decided to stop trying. Last time the name Babydot came to me out of the blue while I was looking at some info which told me the baby was the size of a . and I just thought "Awww, my little babydot!" and that was it. It felt so nice to find a name that suited him for a warm cosy reason, so I'm hoping for similar inspiration this time! :)
Even though I've just found out about the baby being in there for sure, we have already completed Carnegie Stage 5! The link shows that from 7-12DPO this stage is all about implantation completing. Tomorrow (13DPO) begins Carnegie Stage 6 where, even though my tiny one will only be 0.2mm long (!!), he/she/they (!!) will develop two-sided bodily symmetry and a little stalk to the placenta (aww!)! Amazing.
There is probably a ton more that I could be waffling about, but I think I will call it a night and relax for a bit before heading to bed. Even with a lie-in and a nap today, I'm still so tired! I'm so glad glad glad and happy and thrilled to be pregnant again! Such a gift! I can't get over it, it's so wonderful! :) I will be back very soon with more updates. I will keep taking tests for a while I think, till they are nice and dark :) I usually test till 14 or 16DPO. I'll post photos!
I meant to update last night but I was SO tired out. The physical wiped-out-ness has cranked itself up to a new level in the last 24 hours or so. And today I have had an AWFUL headache all day long. It was there when I woke with Benjamin at 6.30am and despite 2 rounds of painkillers and going back to bed for much of the morning (yay for Saturdays and lovely husbands!), and THEN napping with Benjamin in the afternoon for an hour, it's still kicking my butt. I remember these pregnancy headaches started early with some of the others, and Neil wasn't home those times so I am not quite sure how I got by! If I did before though, I can manage again. Neil works from home (in a manner of speaking, not earning as yet, but working fairly constantly from 9-5 at the computer) so I still need to pull myself together during the week and I won't be able to nap when I need to, the same as the other pregnancies (except my first of course!).
Last night before bed I noticed a teensy bit of light brown spotting, and I have had a bit of very light brown spotting today as well. At 11DPO and 12DPO, that is implantation spotting, and I've had it before, so as much as I don't like seeing spotting or bleeding of ANY sort, I am okay with this!
One thing I'm always anxious about as I start a new pregnancy, is the prospect of bleeding. The least "bloody" pregnancy I had was Matthew's, where I only had some light brown spotting - I think around 7 weeks? I can't remember. I think I had some late implantation spotting too, around 4 weeks. With all three of my other pregnancies I have had BLEEDING, not spotting. Well, spotting as well with some of them, but yeah, bleeeeeding. I seem to have some sort of tendency to develop a subchorionic haematoma during pregnancy, in the first trimester especially. All the info out there says they are random and there's no tendency, etc, but I am SURE that's rhubarb, in my case anyway!
The first scan in this country is 12 weeks. I think I will be 12 weeks pregnant on May 31st, so sometime around the end of May or beginning of June I should have a scan! :) Whenever I start to bleed in the first trimester, I go straight to my GP and ask for a referral for an early scan. Those are internal scans, not the usual gel on the tummy ones. I would never just wait an early bleed out. They are all essentially a threatened miscarriage and I simply HAVE to know if everything is okay to put my mind at rest. I can't deal with the anxiety over it otherwise. I hate bleeding during pregnancy! So, with all my pregnancies so far, I have had my "first" scan early, between 5 and 8 weeks. I hope not to need one this time, but if I do have to go through bleeding again, it's wonderful to get a look at my tiny one and be reassured about how the pregnancy is going. With Arthur's pregnancy I started bleeding at 5 weeks and had a scan at 5w6d, which just showed the yolk sac and no heartbeat or baby. So I had a follow-up at 7 weeks exactly which showed my little bean holding his balloon with a flickering heartbeat! :) Phew!
I overly panicked with the brown spotting at around 7 weeks with Matthew and went to my doctor, who actually happily referred me for a scan and said I was not overreacting. Nathan's pregnancy was quite scary for bleeding. I had an early scan at about 8 weeks due to some bleeding/spotting and saw him in there with his tiny little limb buds! Then I was minding my own business one morning at 11 weeks pregnant when suddenly I started bleeding heavily. So scary. It was so heavy that when I ran to the loo and sat there wondering what to do, it was running into the toilet continually and it sounded like I was doing a wee. *shudder* Horrid memory :( I bled like that for a couple of hours and it slowed down a bit in the hospital, but I was very crampy by then and SURE I was having a miscarriage. Three days later I had a scan which found a very happy little baby wiggling about and NO sign of a bleed! The doctor said I must have "bled it all out" at once instead of blood pooling inside and bleeding from the pool gradually. At 13 weeks I started bleeding again, fairly period-like but not as heavy as before, and I happened to have my scan the next morning, so when they did the scan they found a very large haematoma next to Nathan's head. It was almost as big as he was. I had a follow-up scan at 15 weeks which showed it was shrinking, and I continued bleeding from that until 18 weeks or so. Ugh. NOT fun!
Then with Benjamin, I started bleeding at 5 weeks like a period with cramping. I just knew the pregnancy was over. We were staying with my parents in France at the time. I was so surprised a few days later when I started feeling horribly morning sick! :) Nevertheless, when we got home I went straight to my GP and she sent me for an early scan at 6 or 7 weeks, so I was able to see my tiny Benjabean then and know that it was all okay.
Neil and I are really praying that I won't have ANY bleeding this time around. It will feel odd to make it to 12 weeks without having had a peek at my tiny one(s!), but it will be SO much nicer to avoid that stress.
Also praying about the morning sickness. I am praying for NONE! I know God is able to bless me with a morning-sickness-free pregnancy. It's very.... refining to battle through morning sickness with many small children to look after, so for that reason alone, I know He might allow it. But I'm praying NOT! ;) Also a bit anxious that if I do happen to be having twins, the symptoms will all be doubled! :S I'm guessing that if I don't have cause to have an early scan, I will definitely not make it to the 12 week scan without knowing for sure one way or the other whether I'm having twins or not! By 12 weeks with twins I'd be HUGE! ;)
Well, let's see. What else? My temperature dropped a bit today, but it's still high. I took another pregnancy test and saw the line quite quickly, after about 3 minutes I think. Now that it has dried I have put it together with yesterday's and I think it's a touch darker than yesterday's test, which is encouraging! :) It's the top one, in this photo:
So I'm 3 weeks and 5 days pregnant! So early! Otherwise known at 12 days past ovulation. This is the day I had my first positive test with Arthur. It was 10DPO with Matthew, and 11DPO with the other two, I think, same as this time. My "change of week" day this pregnancy is Monday. I am going to go to the doctor on Tuesday (it would be Monday except that it's a Bank Holiday for Easter) and "book in"!! Exciting! There's heavy competition for spaces at my local hospital (even if you're booking a homebirth) so my GP always tells me to go to see her as soon as I get a positive test.
I have told everyone online I think, my FF groups (and joined the Due in December 2010 group, yay!!) and, well, this blog! ;) I should update my other blog because not everyone who follows my blogs reads this one. I am looking forward to revealing at Facebook but my cousin is a friend at Facebook (though he never updates or does anything, only lurks!) and if I post about it there before telling all of my family, he will pass the news on first. When Benjamin was born, I posted at Facebook the evening he was born (after telling my family, of course!), and without leaving me any sort of congrats or comment, he told my auntie (my mum's sister) before she had even had a chance to phone her to tell her! When she phoned, my auntie told her, "Oh yes, Robert's already told me - he saw at Facebook!" >:S
So I have to wait a bit. This is the first time I have ever NOT told my mum within like 30 minutes of getting a positive pregnancy test :( We decided not to, because she is always really clear about the fact that it seems to be BAD news to her, and then makes non-subtle effort to act like it's good news after all. *sigh* I think she does eventually think it's good news, but her initial reaction is always, "Oh no!" rather than anything else. Except for my first pregnancy of course! She was ecstatic about that one. I would love for her to swallow all that negativity down and keep it to herself, and only show me the happy response, even if it's put on for my benefit, until she's feeling more genuinely happy about it. It serves no purpose to let out the "Oh no!" or even, "Oh God!" response, and then go through the, "Oh, er, I mean how wonderful (slightly sarcastic tone) of course!" The next comment is usually about some aspect of neglect for the boys that I will have to overcome when I feel dreadful later in the first trimester. I do love my mummy - in fact she is pretty much my best friend - and she's a loving Nana and very supportive in general, but she does have this reaction to having more than 2 babies, or any number of babies that are spaced less than 2 or 3 years apart. Anything different than her own choices, that is. It frustrates and hurts me, and this time I reluctantly decided (with Neil) that we won't tell her (which means obviously not telling both my parents, even though my dad has always been happy and excited for us every time, never negative in any way) for a while.
I don't know when we WILL tell her. She already knows that we don't prevent pregnancy. I've been telling her over and over since Benjamin was born, but she just either says negative stuff about it, hopes we'll come to our senses, or else just seems to think we aren't serious, because the next time I remind her that we'll likely have another baby if God blesses us that way, she seems shocked and surprised and hopes we'll come to our senses again! :S So anyway. She's vaguely prepared. She also knows I had a chemical pregnancy last cycle, and was freshly shocked that we're actually going to "go that route then" and insanely lay the way open for a 5th baby. So at least she has a heads up! ;)
It might be that we tell my parents quite soon. I'm HOPELESS at keeping this kind of news to myself, and I just plain WANT to tell my family! We don't do any "safety zones" stuff, never have. If I am pregnant, a new life is in me and we want to celebrate it! We don't want to hide it! We want everyone to know about it. If I bleed, I don't want to have to tell people I'm pregnant if I need help or support and am busy bleeding. I want them to know already! I can't tell you how glad I was when I was 11 weeks with Nathan and bleeding, that I had told everyone I knew. I could phone a lady at church and say, "I'm bleeding" (it had to be a rushed conversation) and she knew right away what that meant, and came round to take me to the hospital right away on a Sunday morning (Neil was sick with a stomach bug!!! Ugh!). Then she hopped right off to church leaving me at the hospital with my brother, and once there she spread the word all over the church that I needed prayers because I was bleeding heavily. Now see, I NEEDED that prayer support so badly, and yet it would have meant somebody else randomly telling everyone at church that I was pregnant instead of me. Either that, or NOT doing so, and thus having very little in the way of prayer support.
If I'm pregnant and I bleed, I need prayers! I want everyone to know. Untelling people if we miscarry must be horrible, but I have read too many stories from women who have miscarried before they told anyone, during the 1st trimester, and then how agonising the loneliness of being in it alone without anyone knowing what they were going through. And that's how I feel about it even without hearing those stories to back my thoughts on it up. I know we COULD tell people afterwards that we had lost a baby, and they would pray and be sympathetic, but it's different if they had from the start been celebrating that baby's existance with us. They would really get it. I just really don't get the thing that everyone seems to do where they don't tell anyone until the "safe zone". It doesn't make sense to me, even though I do vaguely understand the reason. It just doesn't hold water, in reality, to me.
So perhaps we'll tell them pretty soon? The main thing we both want at the moment is to have this glorious "just found out" stage to ourselves. We are so overjoyed and excited!!! That bubble is somewhat deflated whenever we tell someone and get a negative response, and we want to enjoy it without that risk this time. It won't be long before it's settling in nicely for us and we will have that experience tucked into our belts, of just the joy and excitement. Then we can tell others (with baited breath, haha!). I'm eager to tell my brother. He has always been happy and excited, and would never let on if he wasn't in any way. I am NOT eager to tell my grandparents. I'm sure they have NO idea that we would ever consider being so crazy as to have a FIFTH baby with an even smaller age gap to boot! ;) They will be fairly horrified at first, and very worried for us. *sigh* Will put off telling them till as late as poss! :S I guess Neil will tell his side of the family when we're ready to tell mine. They're usually okay - always rather stunned, but always offer congratulations.
Anyway. This is why I'm so grateful for everyone's lovely happy congrats here! :) Thank you!!! :D
My bad cramps have completely cleared up! It must have been the little one burrowing in more deeply. I am mildly crampy today, on and off. I'm not peeing quite so frequently today, and I do have an increased appetite, but not hugely so. I have felt queasy with this bad headache. It's a fair bit better this evening, now that it's getting later (perhaps it's the period of time that's building up since the boys have gone to bed?! Lots of noise before that time...). I don't seem to have as much milk as usual, in that I can always tell which breast to feed from next based on how full it feels, but today neither seem full at any time really. Benjamin still gulps and milk still flows, but I'm just noticing that difference. It's familiar from the other pregnancies though, at this stage. And I find that it comes back full force after a while, and then tapers off later in the 1st trimester or early in the 2nd.
I did all that fun stuff online like registering for a Babycentre news email to come each week of my pregnancy, finding out dates and gestations, and making a new ticker! :) I used to display my little ones' tickers at my diaryland version of this diary (which I should link here, given that all the archives are there and NOT transferred here yet! Gulp! Must get round to that or one day I could lose the lot!), but the layout doesn't support that too well here :( Maybe I can fit the short versions down the side there on the right? I'll see. For now, here's my new baby's ticker! :)
My new baby - aaaaahhhhh!!! :) I'm so blessed! :) Thank you Lord for this precious little one!
So my 2nd trimester starts on May 31st, and my 3rd trimester on September 13th. On Matthew's birthday in June (the next family birthday) I will be 14 weeks pregnant exactly - hopefully finished with morning sickness if I have it. When my baby boy has his first birthday I will be 17 weeks and 4 days!! I am always pregnant when one of my little ones has their first birthday, but this time I will be the most pregnant I have ever been at that event! I was 10 weeks at Arthur's first birthday, 6 weeks at Matthew's, and 14 weeks and 5 days at Nathan's. I did not have morning sickness at Nathan's birthday any more, but I was really struggling with awful pregnancy-related headaches (like the one I have had today, hmmm!) which would last a few days at a time and be a bit debilitating, and then go away again for a couple of days, and then back on for a few days, etc. They are a lot better in the second half of pregnancy. Benjamin's pregnancy was definitely the worst for those. I hope it doesn't happen that way again this time!
At Arthur's 6th (SIXTH!!!) birthday in November, I will be 35 weeks and 1 day pregnant. My big scan should be in the last week of July.
So exciting!!!! :D I really hope that nothing goes wrong with this pregnancy and that I'll get to meet my sweet new little one(s!) at the end of it.
I was trying to think of a name for the little one earlier (a pregnancy name, not an actual name for after the birth!), but I have decided to stop trying. Last time the name Babydot came to me out of the blue while I was looking at some info which told me the baby was the size of a . and I just thought "Awww, my little babydot!" and that was it. It felt so nice to find a name that suited him for a warm cosy reason, so I'm hoping for similar inspiration this time! :)
Even though I've just found out about the baby being in there for sure, we have already completed Carnegie Stage 5! The link shows that from 7-12DPO this stage is all about implantation completing. Tomorrow (13DPO) begins Carnegie Stage 6 where, even though my tiny one will only be 0.2mm long (!!), he/she/they (!!) will develop two-sided bodily symmetry and a little stalk to the placenta (aww!)! Amazing.
There is probably a ton more that I could be waffling about, but I think I will call it a night and relax for a bit before heading to bed. Even with a lie-in and a nap today, I'm still so tired! I'm so glad glad glad and happy and thrilled to be pregnant again! Such a gift! I can't get over it, it's so wonderful! :) I will be back very soon with more updates. I will keep taking tests for a while I think, till they are nice and dark :) I usually test till 14 or 16DPO. I'll post photos!
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