5 weeks pregnant! :)

Five weeks has arrived all of a sudden! One eighth of the way through my pregnancy already! ;) That's 21 days past ovulation, and my tiny is beginning Carnegie Stage 10 of embryonic development, which goes from 21DPO to 23DPO. Can you believe that at 23DPO (just the day after tomorrow!!!!) a teensy tiny little S-shaped tube inside my new tiny person will fuse and begin to beat - the rudimentary heart!! Amaaaaazing, so early. I can't wait till I'm at that stage to put my hand over where Tiny Pip is (oooh that was spontaneous - even the capitals, I touch-type fast straight from the thoughts forming in my head - but doesn't that look like an official nickname?!?!) and know that there's a little weeny heart beating in there! :)

Five weeks is also supposed to be my first belly picture day! Now THAT feels very surreal and weird, because when I realised it today, I just thought, "What?! But, but... I only just conceived, surely?!" and it really does feel that early! But I always take a 5 week belly pic as a "before" photo. I like to keep it the same stage each pregnancy, so I guess I should get a belly picture in the next couple of days! How surreal! :)

Five weeks also heralds morning sickness, for me. Well, not till later in the week, but before I get to 6 weeks anyway. I start morning sickness at 5 weeks and 6 days. Except hmmm, today is the first day when I really haven't fancied anything to eat at all, and biting my nails (naughty!) has felt a bit yeurghy, just ever so slightly. After mid-afternoon or so, I have been aware of an ever-so-slightly queasy feel just hanging around at all times. A good analogy is motion sickness - did you ever get car sick? At first all is well. Then you start to feel just a tad "off", and suddenly the car doesn't smell so nice, and you feel a little internally restless. Then you progress to mild queasiness, more from the car smell than anything else. And obviously, queasy moves on to plain old nausea, and that just gets more and more horrible. Well the horriblest nausea right before you throw up is my typical morning sickness sensation (Constant. All day. And night, some pregnancies.), and this morning I felt that sort of "the car doesn't smell so nice..." sense that turned into queasiness. So I think I'm on my way to feeling proper morning sick in the next few days maybe? Or can I (naively?!) hope that just maybe it will stay this mild for the long haul?! Hmm, probably not. But here's hoping. I just hope it doesn't get worse than my previous experiences, because the very next level is puking, and I reeeeally don't want to progress to puking. No no no.

I only have 3 meals in the freezer!! I have ingredients today for at least 4 more meals, but still I am not going to stock up the freezer enough in time, urgh. One GREAT thing is that Neil is at home so he will be able to help out with making or assembling dinner a lot of the time. Phew, what a blessing that will be! I'm apprehensive and unexpectedly nervous about impending morning sickness. It really does just feel SO AWFUL, and it seems like there is no end in sight once it starts, because it goes on so long and is so all-consuming.

BUT, it will be wonderful reassurance, especially if I do start bleeding (my usual window begins any time from now :( ), to feel yucky and sick all the time. I will have hope that my Tiny Pip is okay in there despite bleeding and cramping, while I wait for a scan. Now that I am 5 weeks pregnant, I am absentmindedly going to check my underwear much more often throughout the day. I just have a familiarity with needing to at this stage, I guess. I'm nervous about it! I hate seeing blood when pregnant! Hopefully it won't happen, but I guess I am as prepared as I can be if it does.

What other randomness? I haven't really been feeling very pregnant till this queasiness today. No particular symptoms to report. Oh but I am SO exhausted all the time, which is pregnant of me. Neil wondered the other day if my skin was less soft, and that worried us both, but it seems back to it's normal pregnant softness again. I finished charting! My last temp at 18DPO was nice and high (37.0) which was a nice one to finish my 5th pregnant chart on! :) Also I took my last test the same morning which was reassuringly darker than the one from 16DPO :) I took a photo of it and sent it via email to Heather, who was my lovely doula with Benjamin. She didn't get it, hehe! So I emailed back telling her it was a pregnancy test - mine! :) She is excited and so am I because I know she doesn't work in December (boohoo!) but when she found out my news, she asked if I wanted a doula, and if I had anyone in mind. She said that she doesn't normally work in December but she could be persuaded to make an exception!!!! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay! :D Of course I responded with, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?! OF COURSE I WANT YOU TO BE MY DOULA!! WE LOVE YOU!!!" or something calm and appreciative like that! ;)

Neil still hasn't told his side of the family. He seems a bit nervous about it for some reason. I asked why, and he said maybe he just felt that they didn't have a problem with 4 kids (he's one of 4) but that they might with 5 or more. Hmmm. Also Neil's littlest sister is pregnant, which is recent news as she didn't know herself until near the end of her first trimester. Big shock to the family. She is not in a relationship, is in great debt and is still very young. I had noooo idea she would ever get herself into this kind of situation, and we are currently praying about how we can best support her. She is due in September. So he hasn't told our news yet.

What other randomness can I write before I am forced to go to bed?! I'm just so tired. Things start to look faded and white to my eyes when I am feeling this tired. I really should not be online at all this evening! :S I should get an early night instead. I'm a sucker for wanting to keep my pregnancy record updated!

I got iceburg lettuce and cottage cheese. Those things usually help when I feel yucky.

Oh! I have had two more baby related dreams - really vivid ones again! Though, all my dreams are vivid these days, being pregnant and all. My first baby dream was only a couple of days after this baby was conceived - I think I already wrote about it here - and the baby was a boy. I have had two dreams over the last night or so. I can't remember the content but the baby was a boy both times. I have no idea whether it's just my obvious default, having 4 boys and 0 girls already (ha!) or if that means something! Add that to Nicola's boy dream for me, and well, who knows! ;) I have to admit, if it really ISN'T the twin scenario that I've hung onto and wondered about all this time (over 2 years now) from when God told me clearly that Benjamin would be the next baby (he was! :) ), then I TOTALLY TOTALLY TOTALLY expect to be carrying another baby boy. I just can't fathom a girl baby in there at all! But I can completely see another little boy when I watch my four boys playing together, or see a photo of them sitting in a line. I can totally see a fifth boy in that line, almost as if he's there in the picture, sort of. So I will be 100% expecting that outcome if it's a single baby in there! That will be wonderful, and I already have 3 names that I love, and others that I'd consider. I don't know if Neil goes for them though, so that might make it tricky! Girl names - well, obviously there are zillions out there and we have never used one, but somehow I think we'll have a difficult time agreeing on one all the same! I know what my two favourites are if it's twin girls! :)

Okay, feeling a bit yeurghy and tired out so I must go to bed. I'm sure there's plenty that I missed, but I will try to update again this week.